Chapter Text
"You never know just what will break you
Till you're picking up the pieces
Never know just what will break you
Till your world, it falls apart
Never know how small your voice is
Till you're screaming at the silence
Never know how small your voice is
Till you're arguing, arguing with God"
(The Colour of Leaving - Parkway Drive)
It’s raining when they make their way to Karasuno, and even though Oikawa wears that flashy smile all the time, Iwaizumi knows that the weather matches his mood perfectly. He’s not fooled by the fake mask Oikawa wears anymore, in fact, he never has been.
Oikawa may be able to read people on the court as if their thoughts were projected on a screen on their foreheads for him, but when it comes to his best friend, Iwaizumi can do just the same.
And right now, if they were alone in Iwaizumi’s room, Oikawa would probably be sobbing into a pillow. Or Iwaizumi’s chest, respectively. Because Iwaizumi knows that Oikawa’s knee hurts due to over-training yesterday, and he knows it’s all because they are facing Kageyama today, and he knows that Oikawa is mad at himself and the world and the fact that he has to play this match in suboptimal condition.
But there’s nothing they can do now and Oikawa is way too proud to back down from this match, so here they are; Oikawa wearing that fake smile and Iwaizumi watching his every move with furrowed brows. He hates that façade, and Oikawa knows that, but the only time he ever really lets down his guard is when they are alone together. Never in public, not even when it’s just the team around.
The mood is dimmed today. Kindaichi is car-sick in the back, Kyoutani is in one of his moods and Yahaba has been sleeping the whole way. Only Mattsun and Makki are cracking their usual jokes, and Oikawa is laughing at it, but it’s an empty laugh though only Iwaizumi notices.
Iwaizumi himself is mostly quiet for the ride. He’s tired himself since he spent almost the entire night and morning studying, trying to cram in as much work as possible before the trip to Karasuno today; and he’s worried about his best friend, as well as the outcome of this match.
It’s just for practice, yes, but nothing is ever really meaningless to Oikawa. And Iwaizumi trusts in his team, he knows that they are strong and they totally can win this, but nobody is in their best state right now and if they do lose he doesn’t know how Oikawa will take it.
The look on his face when he limped out of the gym yesterday after Iwaizumi forced him to quit training, the rage in his eyes and the way he clenched his hands into fists… they have to win today, or Oikawa will go spiraling down again. Iwaizumi wishes Oikawa knew how amazing he was, that he could see his own strength without doubting or comparing himself to others, but he knows his best friend won’t and can’t settle and he will always be afraid of people surpassing him.
As Kageyama will one day.
Oikawa knows that will happen, but still he fights with claws and teeth to prevent that day from coming and Iwaizumi never knows if that’s a good thing or not, but he promised to always have Oikawa’s back and so he does. But sometimes he thinks that maybe he’s just participating in Oikawa’s self-destruction and it scares him.
“Oi, Shittykawa,” he interrupts Oikawa as the latter recovers from another bunch of fake giggles aimed at one of Mattsun’s stupid memes.
Oikawa turns around. The corners of his mouth are ever turned upwards, as if he had glued them there.
They sit in a booth together, Iwaizumi on the window side and Oikawa on the aisle side like it’s always been, because Oikawa likes to interact with the team and walk around during long drives even though coach always yells at him for it.
“What is it?”, Oikawa asks, and Iwaizumi lowers his voice so nobody else will hear.
“Do you need to stretch your knee? I’ll ask coach for a quick break so everyone can use the bathroom.”
Something flashes in Oikawa’s eyes, but he keeps up the smile. “Aw, Iwa-chan, are you worried about me?”
Iwaizumi just glares and punches him in the arm. “Just answer the question, Trashykawa.”
But Oikawa shakes his head. “Nah, I’m fine. It doesn’t even hurt.”
Liar liar liar. “Sure thing.”
“It doesn’t! Are you my sister?”
Right now Iwaizumi kind of wishes he was, because maybe then Oikawa would listen. “Oikawa, I swear to god if you’re going to ruin yourself over something like this…”
“I told you, I’m fine!” Oikawa interrupts him and stands up. “Quit worrying so much!”
“Oikawa, sit back down!” coach yells from up front. “Street’s slippery today, we don’t need you hurting yourself here in the bus!”
“Sorry, coach!” Oikawa shouts back, but walks over to where Makki and Mattsun are sitting. There is a seat open next to them, right behind the row where Iwaizumi is sitting, and the latter just huffs in annoyance. Whatever. He can’t force the idiot to listen every goddamn time.
Oikawa makes to sit down, but a yell from Kindaichi in the back makes him freeze. Iwaizumi whirls around, and he doesn’t even have time to fully realize what he’s seeing before there’s a massive lurch and their entire bus is thrown to the side.
It all happens so fast, but it still feels like a movie playing in slow motion when Iwaizumi feels the colossal strain of the impact on the bus, and he tries to grab on to something, fingers closing around the seat where Oikawa has been sitting until only a few seconds ago… Oikawa!
Iwaizumi tries to turn his head, but the impact of the crash sends him flying backwards, his arms can’t hold the grip on the seat and he instinctively pulls them up over his head, just moments before he painfully collides with the window and he can feel something in his shoulder shattering. A scream rises in his throat, but he forces it down with a groan.
The bus is sliding and Iwaizumi can feel its gravity point shifting; a look over his shoulder makes cold fear grip his heart. They’re tipping over.
He whirls around again, eyes focusing, and there he is, there in aisle is Oikawa. The impact has sent him crashing into the seats and he’s holding his head, cowering on the floor. Even through all the screaming Iwaizumi can hear the soft, frightened whimpers.
But still he feels the bus tipping over, and he only has seconds to act.
He lurches himself forward, grabbing Oikawa by the wrists and in a moment of adrenaline-fueled inhumane strength, he pulls his best friend up towards him. Oikawa yells in surprise and pain and Iwaizumi can see the blood trickling down his forehead and neck.
There’s no time to buckle him in, no time to do much at all, so Iwaizumi reacts on instinct alone as he pulls the setter into his arms, wraps himself around him and hopes he can shield Oikawa like this as best as he can from the second impact that is about to come.
He holds on as tightly as he can, and just a heart-beat later they are falling.
The screams grow louder, and then there is a deafening crash. Iwaizumi feels the impact before the pain comes, but when it hits, it hits hard. It hurts so much that he can’t even scream, he just gasps for air and holds on to Oikawa and prays that it’ll all be over already.
And then, the bus stops. The noise stops. The screams stop.
It’s like somebody muted the whole scene, that’s how quiet it is. When Iwaizumi’s vision goes blurry, he wonders if it really is that silent, or if maybe he just can’t hear it anymore. There’s nothing but pain surrounding him, blinding, sharp pain; and his hands are clutching tightly to the other boy in his arms, praying that he is alright, praying that he’s alive.
Oikawa is the last thing on Iwaizumi’s mind before he loses consciousness.
Oikawa is too shocked to realize any of it. When the truck hits their bus, he is flung to the side and painfully collides with one of the seats next to him, but he’s too shocked to understand what’s going on so he just collapses and curls into himself.
Everything is so loud, people are screaming and glass is shattering and there is so. Much. Sound.
Then, a pair of strong hands grabs him and a second later he’s in Iwaizumi’s arms, but he still doesn’t get what’s happening, he doesn’t know why Iwaizumi holds him this tight, why he wraps himself around Oikawa and tucks his head under his arms, why everything feels so light for one second, and why there’s that loud crashing sound again. He doesn’t get it even when the sound dies down, when Iwaizumi’s grip loosens, when the screaming turns into sobbing.
But then Oikawa sits up, and takes a look at his best friend’s face, and that’s when he snaps out of it.
“Hajime.” The first name rolls of his tongue before he can even think about it, but he doesn’t really notice nor does he really care. “Hajime!”
He grabs Iwaizumi’s shoulders, still half on top of him, but his eyes are unfocused and stare past Oikawa, blinking slowly.
“No no no no no,” Oikawa mutters and slides off Iwaizumi. A sharp pain shoots up his whole side and he groans and pauses, but shakes it quickly. Iwaizumi’s eyelids begin drooping and shutting, and Oikawa grabs his face. “Hajime, stay with me. Don’t you dare close your eyes, you hear me?”
He isn’t sure if Iwaizumi can hear him though, he’s not responding even a little bit.
A sob escapes Oikawa’s lips. “No please…” He lifts his head. “Help!”
Only then can he take in the scene. The bus is sideways, and what Iwaizumi and he are lying on is the shattered glass of the window that hit the road a few seconds ago.
He can’t see Kindaichi and Yahaba, but the wall of the bus where they had been sitting is all dented in. Kyoutani is a few rows behind them, unconscious. Watari is next to him though, and he seems kind of okay, at least he’s moving and trying to get the seatbelt off. And in the row behind them, now somewhat above them dangling from their seats hanging in the seatbelts are Mattsun and Makki.
When Oikawa tries to turn towards the front though, a sharp pain shoots up his ribs and he stops.
“Oi!” It’s Mattsun from above him. His eyes are widened in shock, but he doesn’t seem to be hurt too badly. “Oikawa, are you hurt?”
Oikawa tries to get his breathing under control, but the sobs keep spilling out. “Iwa-chan’s not waking up!”
Mattsun curses and wiggles in his seat. “Is he breathing? Makki, I need your help.”
Oikawa cowers down next to Iwaizumi again, and he can clearly see his chest rising and falling. “Y-yeah, he is.”
“Alright, hold on, I’m coming down. Makki, I need you to hold on to me when I open my seatbelt, or else I’ll just fall down.”
“Y-yeah.” Makki looks just as shocked as Oikawa feels, but he follows Mattsun’s instructions. Oikawa desperately tries to calm himself. He should be checking on everyone, he should be helping, he shouldn’t be panicking… But everything just hurts so much, and Iwaizumi is unconscious, and he is so fucking scared and…
“Hey, Oikawa, it’s okay.” He hasn’t even realized Mattsun is down here already. “It’s okay, you hear me? We’ll get through this just fine. Just breathe.”
“Iwa-chan, he…”
“I know, I know. We’ll get him out of here. We’re on the highway, somebody must have called help by now for sure and they’ll be here soon, okay?”
Oikawa can’t help but admire Mattsun for staying so calm in a situation like this. He himself is freaking out big time by now, and he can barely manage to breathe.
“Are you hurt?”
His head is swimming in uncoordinated thoughts. “I… I think so?” He can’t concentrate on the pain, can’t pinpoint where it’s coming from.
“Yeah, I think you hit your head. At least it’s bleeding. Listen, I’m going to climb over there and open the emergency exit in the roof. You stay here, and then I’ll come and get you.”
“What about Iwa-chan?”
“I don’t think we should move him. He could have an injured spine, it’ll be best to wait for the firefighters.”
Oikawa’s fingers lock down on Iwaizumi’s arm like an instinct. “I’m not leaving him here.”
“Oikawa, you…”
“No.” Out of all the things, Oikawa has not expected this to clear his head, but it does. “You open the exit. Then you bring everyone out of here who can make it. Check the situation outside, see if people stopped to help. Can you see the coaches?”
“Yeah, I think they’re unconscious.”
“Okay. Go ahead then. I’ll stay here with Iwa-chan.”
“But Oikawa…”
“Go. He saved my life, I’m not leaving him here.”
Mattsun huffs, but nods. “Alright.” He pulls himself up on the seat and looks up and down the bus. “Okay, who can hear me?”
A few shouts respond and Mattsun nods again. “I’m gonna open the emergency exit, so everyone who is conscious and can move, get out of here. Help everyone who can get out of here with your assistance, but if you think it might be dangerous to move them, don’t and wait for help.”
Oikawa watches Mattsun climb away, then he turns back to Iwaizumi. His eyes are closed, but it doesn’t look like he’s sleeping, not really, it just isn’t peaceful enough for that. Iwaizumi’s brows are furrowed, and sometimes his head jerks just a tiny bit sideways.
And so Oikawa stays put, holding his hand and monitoring his breathing every second. His own pain pulses through his body, but he breathes through it. That is the least he can do.
He can’t help Iwaizumi, can’t save him from this, but he can stay here with him right by his side. And that’s what he does.
He holds his hand all the way until the firefighters arrive and pull them out of this wreck, he keeps his eyes on Iwaizumi all the way until they are put on different stretchers and loaded onto different ambulances, and only when he isn’t able to see his best friend anymore does he finally give in to the pain and loses consciousness.
They are all warming up already, though Seijoh hasn’t arrived yet, and Tanaka and Nishinoya are already muttering to themselves with words like ‘disrespect’ or ‘not taking us seriously’ dropping, but Daichi tells everyone to calm down. It’s raining a lot, so Suga speculates they are just driving more carefully on, especially since there has been a storm warning only yesterday and the weathercaster on the radio told people to be cautious on the roads.
Daichi tells Kageyama and him to give the spikers some practice tosses to get into the groove, but more time passes, and Seijoh still isn’t there.
Suga isn’t a person to hold grudges, and he mostly chooses to see the best in people, but some others resent Oikawa Tooru and his team, or are skeptical towards him, at least.
He has to admit it’s easy to dislike Oikawa’s pompous attitude or get riled up by the sharp comments spoken in a sickly-sweet tone. But Suga has met Oikawa off-court several times. Of course, there’s all the flashy smiles and teases and challenging comments, but that doesn’t make Oikawa a bad person, just maybe an annoying one to deal with.
So when Seijoh doesn’t arrive, Suga can’t help but worry because there’s no way they would do that on purpose. It has been one and a half hours now since the practice match was supposed to start, and Suga has even tried texting Oikawa and Iwaizumi, but neither answered.
When Takeda-sensei arrives at the gym, breathless, and calls Daichi over, Suga watches closely. He can read Daichi like a book, and when the shock settles on his face, Suga knows something is seriously wrong.
He’s on the brink of jogging over and confronting Daichi, but their captain has already turned back and calls the entire team together.
“What is it?” Tanaka shouts as he jogs over. “Are they too scared to face us after all?”
But Daichi shakes his head, his face as white as a sheet, and even the more oblivious members of Karasuno start to catch on that something is wrong.
Suga is the first one to speak up. “What happened?”
Daichi’s eyes lock with his, and they’re screaming for comfort. “Seijoh had an accident. They were on the highway and a truck rammed into their bus.”
The gym falls dead silent. Suga would like to see the expressions of the other guys, but he can’t tear his gaze from Daichi who looks like he’s desperately trying to compose himself. He can only hear Ennoshita’s quiet voice ask, “Is anyone hurt?”
Daichi gulps. “I… Yes, I’m afraid the crash was rather severe. I don’t know any details, but everyone is at the hospital right now. It was Matsukawa who called to inform us, apparently both the coaches aren’t conscious just yet.”
Another voice, Hinata this time. “Is anyone…?” He doesn’t finish the question, but the message is all too clear.
Daichi shakes his head. “Not as far as I know. Some people seem to be in critical condition, though.”
The silence settles again, even heavier than before, until Daichi clears his throat. “I think we should stop for the day. Let’s clean up and all go home. Keep Seijoh in your prayers this evening, and we’ll meet again on Monday when everything has calmed down a bit.”
Everyone murmurs words of agreement, and they scatter to clean up. It’s lots more quiet than normally, Hinata and Kageyama don’t bicker while picking up the stray balls, Nishinoya and Tanaka aren’t whooping with their usual energy overload and the other seconds years seem lost in thought as they take down the net without even talking to each other. The atmosphere is eerily gloomy, and it chills Suga to the bone.
“See you all on Monday,” Daichi says as he turns the key in the gym’s lock. Then he adds a quiet, “Take care of yourselves.”
Everyone says their goodbyes, and soon Daichi and Suga are walking home next to each other. At first, they are just silent, but then Daichi decides to speak up. “I can’t even imagine how horrible it must be. To experience something like that, I mean.”
Suga nods in agreement. “It’s scary to think about it.”
There’s a pause, and then Daichi softly says, “I was thinking…”
“Yeah, me too.”
“You don’t even know what I was about to say.”
“Of course I do. You want to go to the hospital.”
Daichi stops walking for a second and looks at Suga. “How did you…” Then he shrugs. “Why am I even surprised? But yeah, you’re right. I want to see if there’s anything I can do to help.”
Some people might think it to be weird since Karasuno and Seijoh aren’t particularly close as far as friendships among team members are concerned, but it’s different for Daichi and Suga. They have met Oikawa and Iwaizumi on a regular basis for their captains’ meetings, and though Suga wouldn’t go as far as to call them friends, they still know each other well enough by now.
“Let’s do it. Not today though, maybe.”
Daichi nods. “Yeah, I suppose their families are there anyways, and it’s bound to be quite chaotic so we don’t need to add more people to the mix by going now. Let’s go tomorrow around noon, they might have settled down a bit more then.”
Suga agrees, but his thoughts are all over the place. He’d never say it, but he’s worried sick about their rival team and he just wants to know they’re alright. Daichi probably can read it all over his face, because he takes Suga’s hand and squeezes it. “You wanna sleep over tonight?”
Suga smiles, and squeezes back. “Yeah. Yeah, I’d like that.”
Life is just so much easier with Daichi around.
'"Cause I'm going out of frequency
Can anyone respond?
It's like an avalanche, I feel myself go under
'Cause the weight of it's like hands around my neck
I never stood a chance, my heart has frozen over
And I feel like I am treading on thin ice"
(Avalanche - Bring Me The Horizon)