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You've gotta be cruel to be kind, in the right measure
Cruel to be kind, it's a very good sign
Cruel to be kind, means I love you baby
You gotta be cruel to be kind
The members of DIR EN GREY all collapsed in various places around their dressing room after a particularly grueling live.
"That was tough." Toshiya complained, fanning himself.
"Hmm maybe, but I don't think you missed a note this time." Kaoru said as he grabbed a bottle of water.
"I hardly ever miss notes!" Toshiya protested. "And what's that got to do with anything?"
Kaoru ignored him and turned to the petite drummer currently leaning his cheek against the cool wall.
"Shinya, did you hurt your wrists at all? That was pretty intense at the end." Kaoru questioned.
"No leader-san. I'm fine." Shinya replied.
Kaoru nodded in acknowledgement.
"Kyo, your English wasn't great but it's getting better."
Kyo just grunted in response. Kaoru sighed. Why should he expect anything different?
Kaoru finally switched his attention to the other guitarist.
"Die, you missed a few notes and I'm sure you even hit a wrong note." Kaoru scolded rather harshly. "You're pacing was also off. You need to improve."
"Ease up Kaoru. He wasn't that bad." Toshiya said, defending Die.
"Yes he was and he knows it." Kaoru continued, not backing down.
"Die, you weren't that bad. Kaoru's overreacting." Toshiya said. "Die?"
Toshiya looked round, finding that somehow, unnoticed by the rest of them, Die had slipped out of the room.
"Where'd he go?"
Kaoru rolled his eyes.
"He's such a drama queen."
"Maybe you shouldn't be so cruel. You weren't exactly perfect out there leader-san." Shinya pointed out.
"Yeah! I'm almost sure you missed a note." Toshiya said, backing Shinya up.
"Hey! Stop ganging up on me!
"Go apologise to Die and then we will." Shinya stated.
Kaoru grumbled but went off to find Die.
He found him outside in a secluded corner, smoking a cigarette.
"Hey Die-"
"Fuck off."
Kaoru was startled by Die's tone. Yep. He was pissed. Before Kaoru could speak, Die continued.
"You're a shit boyfriend, you know that?"
Okay, Kaoru hadn't been expecting that.
"I'm a... What? How?!"
Die turned to him.
"Don't act like you don't know. One minute you tell me you love me. Then, you say I don't show you enough affection and then you say I show too much! Now, you're attacking my guitar skills. Implying that I don't put my heart and soul into every performance? That I don't practice enough?
What the fuck Kaoru? Do you actually love me? Hell, do you even like me? You're not like this to the others. Why me? Why are you so fucking cruel to me?!"
Kaoru just stared at Die. He didn't know what to say. How could he explain himself without sounding like an arsehole? Well, even more of an arsehole.
He couldn't. Might as well just go for it.
"I do it because I love you."
Die laughed but there was no humour behind it.
"Right. That's how you show you love me? By knocking me down?"
"Yes."
Die shook his head.
"Thanks for clearing that up. I'm going back in now."
Die dotted his cigarette before dropping it down the drain.
"Wait." Kaoru grabbed Die's wrist before he could go back inside. "Are we okay?"
"No Kaoru. We're not okay." Die hissed at him. "Sort yourself out."
"Die, I do love you. It's just hard to drop the leader persona even when I'm with you. I don't mean to evaluate everything. I just... Can't help it?"
"That's not even the problem. Everything is always wrong. You never have anything positive to say about us; about me. That's not a healthy relationship Kaoru. Maybe we shouldn't have started this."
Kaoru panicked. He didn't want what they had to end. How did he fix this?
"No! I don't want this to end! You are the most caring person I've met. You honestly do put your heart and soul into every performance. You practice so hard and care so much about the fans, you never want to let them down. You're the best boyfriend I could ever ask for. Please don't leave me."
Die turned to him, a smirk plastered on his face.
"Was that so hard to say?"
"Wait, you... You tricked me!"
Die started laughing at the look on Kaoru's face.
"It's not funny! I thought you were gonna break up with me!"
"You would never have admitted all that if I hadn't of."
That was true, but still. It wasn't the point!
"I take it back. I don't love you anymore."
Die laughed again.
"Cruel to be kind Kaoru. Cruel to be kind."