Work Text:
The grass, still damp, was stirring beneath the moon when Lan Wangji woke up with a start, fingers clutching the hilt of Bichen.
All was quiet in the mountain. On the crags, droplets of water unhurriedly fell on the white stone where they slid into the hollows, forming pools of gleaming moonlight. He blinked in confusion before realising that the strings of the guqin Wangji were ringing.
Faintly, the plucked strings were calling him, "Lan Zhan".
Lan Wangji focused his gaze. Just as he was about to reach out to touch the guqin, he silently curled his fingers into a fist instead. The guqin had sounded once. At his lack of response, it kept going persistently, the strings resounding on and on, Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan.
At last, Lan Wangji let out in a low whisper, "… Wei Ying?"
Swept by the night breeze, a trickle of glistening dewdrops rolled on blades of grass. The guqin strings quietened down as Lan Wangji held his breath, motionless. One of his hand held the hilt of Bichen while the other, the one clenched into a fist under his sleeve, was trembling without a sound. His nails were pricking into his palm, nearly drawing blood.
Then the guqin notes turned into music.
It seemed momentarily as if there was someone banging on the strings, startling the birds that had settled to roost in the forest. Lan Wangji abruptly pinned down the seven strings with his hand. The guqin was silenced and he heard instead the thunderous pounding of his own heart, each beat a burning throb inside his chest.
He said in a low voice, "… Slow down."
Lan Wangji released the strings under his hand and, immediately, a single note was plucked, the tone drawling like a sulky 'Fine'.
The guqin Wangji sounded clearly, "Lan Zhan, it's really you!"
Lan Wangji answered, "Yes."
He relaxed his grip on the hilt of Bichen but seemed at a loss as to where to put his hand. Eventually, he placed it wordlessly on his knee, the clenched knuckles white under the glow of the moon.
The guqin resounded cheerfully like a soft laughter. Wei Wuxian said, "Why did you pick this place for a night hunt?"
Lan Wangji replied, "A remote grave in the wilderness was encroached by a malevolent spirit."
Wei Wuxian, "That does not seem anything formidable, a cultivator from any Sect could have done the trick. Why bother someone of Hanguang-Jun's calibre?"
Lan Wangji took a silent breath, "I was passing and could not stand idly by."
A single note came from a guqin string as if Wei Wuxian was snorting. After the string stopped ringing, it was quiet for a long time apart from the rustling of the leaves swaying with the night wind. Lan Wangji waited wordlessly. Although his countenance betrayed nearly no emotion, his heartbeat frantically thumped in his thoracic cage like the beating of a drum rushing in his ears.
He could no longer rein himself in, "… Wei Ying?"
"Huh?" the guqin sounded softly, "I'm right here. What is it?"
Lan Wangji released a breath and his throat bobbed. He managed to blink with difficulty but that could not prevent the red veins from creeping up in his eyes. His chest was heaving as if a deluge of words had frozen within.
He asked, "Where… are you?"
Wei Wuxian's answer was brisk, "Just here."
Lan Wangji lowered his voice even more, "I meant… before."
Wei Wuxian replied, "Are you asking where I was before? How would I know? I've been wandering here and there and then out of nowhere I ran into a guqin. I plucked a string without thinking and it turned out to be you!"
The long-winded speech left the strings vibrating in its wake as the final notes scattered in the air. Lan Wangji instinctively stroked the string that was still ringing with his finger and it quivered in response, not in speech but in jest, as if Wei Wuxian was pulling his finger.
Lan Wangji withdrew his hand at once as if he had been burnt. He heard Wei Wuxian say through the vibrations of the string, "You're no fun, Lan Zhan!"
Lan Wangji grasped his finger with his other hand. Like the string, it was trembling. He tightened his hold almost to the point of breaking the knuckles. He asked at last, "Where… will you go?"
Wei Wuxian said, "Where else can I go? I'll roam in this vast world and go wherever the wind takes me!"
Lan Wangji's eyelashes fluttered as he forced himself to bite back the words he meant to say.
Wei Wuxian resumed strumming the strings, "Lan Zhan, say something, will you? I don't know how long I've spent muffled… You can talk of whatever you want, alright?"
The notes sounded one after another, sending Lan Wangji's thoughts whirling. He said, "If you do not know where to go, would you…"
Wei Wuxian asked, "What?"
Lan Wangji repeated, "Would you…"
Would you return to Gusu with me?
His lips parted several times but the words would not come out. The strings of the guqin Wangji waited mutely, the wood of the instrument bathing in moonshine. The birds that had been frightened away earlier were gradually returning to their nests with a rustle of wings.
However, Wei Wuxian did not prompt him this time.
A long moment had elapsed when Lan Wangji spoke, "Wei Ying?"
The moonlit night was quiet and the guqin was silent.
Lan Wangji rose to his feet in haste, his hands were pressing the strings as he kept calling frantically, "Wei Ying? Wei Ying?!"
However, the guqin strings were still, basking in the moonlight, as if everything that happened was no more than a waking dream that Lan Wangji had wishfully conjured.
Lan Wangji could no longer hold back, he raised his head to face the empty night sky and asked aloud, "Wei Ying, would you return to Gusu with me?"
There was only the plaintive whisper of the wind in the mountain.
"Wei Ying… Wei Ying?!!"
"Hey, I'm here, I'm here! Lan Zhan! I'm right here!"
Lan Wangji's eyes shot open and he saw Wei Wuxian's face, his youthful features striking. He was bent closely over him as strands of dark hair fell over Lan Wangji's shoulders. A pair of bloodshot eyes filled with concern were observing him. Once Wei Wuxian ascertained that Lan Wangji was fully awake, the worry turned swiftly into a most familiar smile.
Wei Wuxian said softly, "You're finally awake. You scared me to death."
His breath brushed against Lan Wangji's lips. He leant forwards with his whole weight, soft lips pecking Lan Wangji's own again and again, before he leisurely nestled his head in the crook of Lan Wangji's neck.
Lan Wangji drew a deep breath, he wanted to wrap his arms around Wei Wuxian's back but as soon as his fingers moved, an excruciating pain burst in his shoulder and spread through his entire arm, leaving him unable to move.
Huddling against his neck, Wei Wuxian said, "Next time a malevolent spirit tries to claw at me, let him come to me. As if I had anything to fear from it! But you sustaining an injury to shield me, that really scared me. You were unconscious for a day, Hanguang-Jun. With how worried I was, it felt like ages."
Lan Wangji made a low sound in answer. Burying his face in Wei Wuxian's hair, he held him close with his uninjured arm and they remained locked in this tender embrace.
Wei Wuxian slightly raised his head and, nuzzling against his jaw, he asked, "Does it still hurt?"
Lan Wangji shook his head. Wei Wuxian's eyes crinkled in amusement, "It is forbidden to utter lies in the Cloud Recesses. You are not allowed to lie, second young master Lan."
As he spoke, he laid another flitting kiss on Lan Wangji's lips. His hand slid from Lan Wangji's face to coil a lock of hair around his finger, he said softly, "In any case, it will stop hurting with a kiss, right?"
Lan Wangji answered quietly, "Mn."
Wei Wuxian had been lying in Lan Wangji's embrace for a long while when came the light knock of a disciple outside the door, making Wei Wuxian realise that he had not yet informed anyone that Lan Wangji had awoken. He first pressed several kisses against Lan Wangji's lips before leaving with a smile. He exchanged a few words with the person outside in a low voice and then returned with a bowl containing a pitch-black medicinal mixture.
Lan Wangji watched as Wei Wuxian sat on the edge of the bed and gave the rim of the bowl a tentative lick, causing his face to pucker. He stuck out his tongue in distaste, "Yikes, it's so bitter! Is the medicine of your Sect meant to cure you or to make you worse?"
Lan Wangji said in a low voice, "Do not speak nonsense."
He wanted to prop himself up but Wei Wuxian hastily stopped him and took a silver spoon from the tray as if he wished to feed Lan Wangji one spoonful at a time. Lan Wangji took a deep breath and he saw Wei Wuxian's gaze turn back to him, "Hanguang-Jun, this medicine is insanely bitter. Why don't I neutralise it for you?"
Without waiting for Lan Wangji to answer, he took a mouthful while pinching his own nose and went to kiss Lan Wangji on the lips.
Lan Wangji's lips were still a bit dry while Wei Wuxian's own soft lips were heated up by the medicinal mixture. The smooth porcelain bowl was not large in size and Wei Wuxian fed several mouthfuls to Lan Wangji. Wei Wuxian's entire body shook from the bitter taste and he curled up into Lan Wangji's arm. As he was unwilling to get up, Lan Wangji simply retrieved the bowl and slowly drank the remaining half.
Wei Wuxian piteously gestured at his own lips, "Neutralise it for me?"
Lan Wangji complied and he heard Wei Wuxian's laughter slip through the kiss.
When he was done laughing, he rested once more in Lan Wangji's embrace. His smile gradually fell as he was twining a strand of Lan Wangji's hair around his fingers. As if he was reminded of something, he said softly, "Lan Zhan…"
Lan Wangji asked, "What is it?"
Wei Wuxian lifted his eyes and questioned him, "What did you see… in your dream?"
Lan Wangji's breathing deepened as he remained silent.
Wei Wuxian spoke, "I heard you call my name, you were shouting."
The arm that was wrapped around him tightened then Lan Wangji answered slowly, "A night hunt in the wilderness."
Wei Wuxian asked, "And then?"
Lan Wangji said, "My guqin sounded."
Wei Wuxian, "Was it me?"
Lan Wangji nodded.
Wei Wuxian burrowed deeper in his embrace and intentionally said with a hushed tone, "Then I must thank Hanguang-Jun for not mistaking me for a villainous stray ghost and for not chopping my head off with that sword of yours."
Lan Wangji spoke forcefully, "I would never."
Wei Wuxian smiled, "I know you wouldn't."
Lan Wangji had been silent for a while when he heard Wei Wuxian ask, "So have you tried it?"
Lan Wangji, "Tried what?"
Wei Wuxian, "Inquiry. To find me."
The two stared at each other for a moment. Under Wei Wuxian's attentive gaze, a deep emotion rose in Lan Wangji's light-coloured eyes, making Wei Wuxian unable to resist drawing closer to kiss Lan Wangji's eyelashes.
Lan Wangji, "I have not."
Wei Wuxian took his hand, "Never, not even once?"
Lan Wangji's hold on his fingers tightened painfully. After a long while, he whispered, "Never."
Wei Wuxian sighed, unsure how he felt about this. He could only return Lan Wangji's grip with equal strength and feel his palm grow searing hot from the contact.
That's right, he thought. If he had not answered Inquiry, there would only have been empty strings and deathly stillness. If he had come, it would have proven that Wei Wuxian was truly dead and became a stray ghost with lingering regrets, what could have Lan Wangji done?
If the soul comes not, the heart aches. If the soul does come, the heart grieves. You enthralled me while you lived, you enthral me in death still. It is better not to inquire and not to hear.
Wei Wuxian knew that they were both the kind of people for whom some fixed ideas had to be defended at all costs while some others had to be hidden away and hauled like a weight around the heart through a lifetime.
Wei Wuxian said, "Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan."
Lan Wangji's gaze shifted slightly. Wei Wuxian's voice as he called him in his dream carried the same tone, vibrant with life, tinged with tenderness, with a love holding fast and forever.
Wei Wuxian then lifted their two hands linked together and brought them to his lips for a kiss. The kisses he pressed against Lan Wangji's knuckles, the ones that had stroked the strings in his dream, held a tangible warmth.
"Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian pledged solemnly, "I am back."
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Author's notes:
"If the soul comes not, the heart aches. If the soul does come, the heart grieves. The lamp shines from behind, a curtain separates them and no word is spoken. Despite the brief relief of this visit, they remain apart. […] Although that beloved of rare beauty turned to dust, this regret tarries endlessly. You enthralled me while you lived, you enthral me in death still. Men are made of neither wood or stone, they are all subject to passion. It is better not to encounter such devastating beauty that would bring cities to ruin."
—Lady Li, Bai Juyi, Tang dynasty poet
Rather than a resigned lament, it's a way of saying: were you never to return, my feelings will endure, were you to come back, we'll have eternity together.
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Translator's notes:
Lady Li was the beloved concubine of the emperor Wu of Han. After her death, his inconsolable grief was such that he had alchemists attempt to summon her soul back.
You can find the integral version of the poem in Chinese here.