Chapter Text
Bad wolf bay is cold and awful, chalk full of bad memories and it seems like the Doctor is ready to make more, because she knows that he means to leave her here. So she can be with her family. Never mind that Jackie and Pete are constantly busy with Tony. And it's not just Tony. It's dinner events for Vitex where she's expected to wear uncomfortable clothes and pretend she's happy.
It's long nights spent awake alone in her dining room while she works until she literally cannot stay awake any longer; there's no other way to keep the nightmares at bay.
It's Mickey and her Mum and Pete all expecting her to just move on and be happy with a normal life. Only Rose isn't much suited to normal life anymore. She's done too much, seen too many extraordinary things to easily settle back into a normal job. The cannon was one of the only things that kept her from falling completely apart and even that brought on new trauma.
How many worlds has she watched die without being able to stop it?
The answer, no matter the number, is always too many.
Rose knows that her mum loves her, that Pete cares in his own way, but they only really call now when they need someone to babysit.
They don't need her.
And the metacrisis, who hasn't left her side for an instant, scares her. Not because she doesn't believe he's the Doctor, but because she knows he is. Even with that little bit of Donna, she can tell he's the same.
And that's terrifying.
Because, and she hates to admit it to herself, but the Doctor doesn't need her. Sure, he might want her in his life, but she'd long since learned while dimension hopping that there are people he needs.
She's not one of them.
So the Doctor's plan of leaving her here with the metacrisis and a family that's more or less moved on past her, well, it's almost enough to break her. Because at least in the proper universe, if he'd left her behind, she'd have Jack, Mickey, and Martha. A Torchwood she could belong at.
But none of them exist in this universe. Well, she's not sure about Jack, but he certainly does not exist relative to Rose.
Because Rose doesn't know- can't imagine what would happen if the metacrisis left her on her own. If he decided that someone else was more fascinating like Reinette and just went, well, Rose is pretty sure that would break her.
And if Rose breaks, there wouldn't be anyone to pick up the pieces
The metacrisis surprises her. Tells her the one thing the Doctor never would: that he loves her. And that's good enough for Rose
Because it's proof. Proof that somehow, she means something to someone.
And after everything Rose has been through, all the jumping, all the running and struggling to find him, it's more than she could have ever hoped for.
So the Doctor leaves them, like Rose knew he would, but she wished he could have cared enough to say goodbye. And Jackie calls Pete who comes to pick them up. It's a struggle to stand there in the biting wind blowing off the sea, wondering what comes next.
But the Metacrisis- should Rose call him 'Doctor' as well? What does he want to be called? That's a conversation for another time. He's still the Doctor, no matter what he wants to be called- he pulls her into a hug, sharing his much more plentiful body heat. He even smells the same. And of course he would, but Rose had been expecting some small change. Something to explain why he's more willing to love her.
Everything is untested between them, she hasn't said the words back, isn't entirely sure she knows how after everything. She knows that she loves him, knows that losing him would break her, those are just facts of her universe, the unchangeable laws that keep her going.
And as they stand there in the cold and the wind, waiting for Pete to bring the zeppelin that will take them forward, into whatever life comes after this, Rose can't help but be completely terrified, even if she's in the one place in the multiverse that she's ever felt safe.
*
Rose Tyler has always terrified him to some extent.
At first, it was because she wanted more from him than a quick jaunt around the stars. She'd expected more. She'd asked questions he hadn't been prepared to answer after the war.
He used to think that things would have been better, that she would be safe and he wouldn't have it himself in the perfect position for heart break if he'd just left her behind after she'd first said 'no'.
He can't bear the thought now.
Rose has become such an integral part of who he is, and who he wants to be, that not having her is unthinkable.
But he knows exactly how that feels. He still remembers everything. Those empty, Rose-less years haunt him nearly as much as the war.
He loves her, and he's more than willing to do whatever it takes to prove that to her.
It's strange how much space Jackie is giving them. Typical Jackie, so far as he knows, would be all over them, asking questions and accusing him of letting Rose get too thin.
But maybe the few years that seem to have passed have mellowed her. Maybe this is just a happy Jackie Tyler.
Rose shivers and he holds her tighter, wishing the other Doctor could have given him long enough to find a coat at least somewhat like the Janice Joplin one. But this is more than fair, he supposed. He gets to spend his life with Rose, sod the coat. The Time Lord can keep it.
They all board the zeppelin, Pete's brought a toddler that can only be Tony. Jackie fawns over him the way the Doctor had been expecting her to worry over Rose. Pete gives Rose a quick hug, more than you would give an acquaintance, but it doesn't have the fatherly affection the Doctor was expecting.
And Rose sits down, almost as far away from them as she can get and seems almost bewildered when the Doctor joins her. Maybe she wants space, he thinks to himself.
But he's still holding her hand so he gives a gentle squeeze and she relaxes into him, leaning her head on his shoulder. It feels so normal, as if there aren't years spent apart and things still unsaid hanging between them.
But, Rassilon, it is just so fantastic to be with Rose again that the Doctor can't bring himself to worry about how strained things seem to be with Jackie and Pete.
Rose falls asleep about half way home, it's not a long flight by any means, but she starts up a light snore and he realizes how much she needed the sleep.
When they land, he hates that he has to wake her but the surprise and happiness in her eyes is more than enough of a reward to know that he made the right decision.