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It was the weekend after their season’s last training camp and all the owls had decided to celebrate. They had done exceptionally well, but that wasn’t the only reason to go out for a team dinner.
This year’s Fukurōdani team was about to be significantly different and no one really knew how to process it. Especially the next in line to become captain, Akaashi.
He wasn’t scared to take up the position- well maybe he was a little if he was being honest. He had a big spot to fit and he didn’t have as much charisma or enthusiasm as the team’s ace and active captain. Who could replace Bokuto beside Bokuto?
Akaashi didn’t want to let his teammates down, but he also knew that he couldn’t change himself to be what they already had. He just wished he could be like Bokuto somedays- outgoing, friendly, excited.
But they were now all seated at the restaurant’s longest table and getting their drinks in order. Akaashi usually sat right next to his dependable number one, but he was a little bit diagonal from him and sitting with the other third years.
Bokuto looked like he was having the time of his life, like he’d just gotten several spikes in a row. Whenever he sat next to Akaashi, he looked more… domestic, for lack of a better word.
The setter was knocked out of his self-induced trance when the waiter tapped him on the shoulder. “And what would you like to drink, sir?”
“Um, a water is fine, thank you.” The waiter nodded and left to get everyone’s beverages. Akaashi couldn’t keep staring at him, or then he would ruin Bokuto’s night. This was his last dinner after a training camp and not Akaashi’s after all.
So Akaashi tried to listen and occasionally put his own two cents to the conversation around him, but he couldn’t block out Bokuto’s laughs and giggles no matter how hard he tried.
After what seemed like an eternity, everyone got their drinks and meals ordered. Akaashi really thought he was free to just sit and wait until he got his meal. But that was, unfortunately, not the case.
“Hey why do you say a toast, Akaashi!” Konoha has said, unprovoked.
Akaashi mildly choked on his water before saying “Hm?”
Another voice encouraged it. “Yeah, Akaashi!” Then another. “Let’s hear it, Vice!” And suddenly the whole team was trying to egg him on.
Akaashi was sure that his face was turning red and that everything was getting much too hot for his liking. He was about to shut them down when he heard the most important voice speak.
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to Akaashi,” Bokuto had started, voice and eyes sincere as always. “But, I think it would give the team a lot of hope and spirit if you did choose to.”
He couldn’t say no now , could he? So, Akaashi stood back from his chair and raised both himself and his glass towards the ceiling.
The first issue was that he didn’t know where to place his eyes, so he decided to put them on the table’s wooden top. The second issue was what to say.
“Er, y-you all have been an incredible team and I’m glad to see you improve with each practice and game.” He was about to sit down when he heard a groan.
“That’s all you’ve got! Butter us up, Akaashi!” One of the first years said.
So he continued. “And, I… I’m excited to play more with you all next year.” He turned his focus toward his best friend and he started talking before he could tell his mouth to stop.
“I’d also like to give a round of applause to our third years… and in particular, our captain. He’s always seen the best in any player and even though sometimes he can be too emotional on the court, I know he cares about each and everyone of you. His position will be tough to fill after he’s…” Akaashi trailed off, not wanting to admit the inevitable. “But I’ll try my best, for all of our sakes.”
Akaashi sat back down and internally wondered if all he said came out as clear as he wanted it to. And that last part, what was he thinking?? It sounded like the start to a confession.
When he looked back up, his eyes were locked with Bokuto. His smile looked like he enjoyed the speech, but also pitiful. Akaashi couldn’t make out which one was intended and the other emotion present by accident. Does he know?
Akaashi had realized he had a crush on Bokuto since the first day he met him, however cliche that may sound. But it was the truth. A truth he wasn’t sure he ever wanted the ace to find out about.
Just like that, Bokuto was back to laughing and having a grand time for himself with the other third years. They kept whispering things to him, causing the owl to look up at his second in command. Are they talking about me? A-Are they making fun of me with him?
He didn’t want to find out, so he excused himself and said he was going to the bathroom. Except, he walked right past the bathroom and towards the open bar stood past where they were seatted, out of sight.
“Bartender? Can I have your strongest please?”
###
Honestly, Akaashi was surprised the bartender gave him any liquor at all. Maybe it was because he looked like he was on death row, or like he was going to bust down any second, or maybe his height added some years. Regardless, Akaashi got some drinks and got a tad bit drunk.
He was about to take another swig of whatever the bartender had thrown at him when he felt a tight pressure on his wrist. Looking up, he saw eyes of both worry and reassurance.
“So this is where you’ve been.” Bokuto said, though his tone made it seem a little more upset than just a statement of fact.
“Mmhm” Akaashi sputtered out, admiring his friend’s fingers curling around his wrist. He would have stared at them longer if they weren’t hurting him. “‘Kuto, my arm..”
“Oh, sorry.” He looked over at the bartender, who didn’t seem to pay much attention to the added party member. “How much is his tab?”
“Bookutoo, I’m gonna pay for it!” Akaashi gave his chest a light shove, just to put his point across. Wow, his torso’s really fit.
The bartender said the total and Bokuto went through his change, then they pulled Akaashi around his shoulders. Dragging him off, he whispered in his ear saying, “We’re leaving now.”
Akaashi couldn’t help but giggle. This whole situation was just so funny to him. Bokuto stringing him along and him… wanting Bokuto to never let him go.
As soon as they were out of the place, Bokuto asked him if he could stand. To which Akaashi told him he could do it. But his standing was more of a breeze, just swaying back and forth in rhythm.
“Why did you do that? That’s… not like you!” Bokuto looked like he was about to be fuming any second now, if he wasn’t already.
“It’s just that…” Akaashi started, but lost his train of thought midway. He was just looking at Bokuto under the night’s sky, where everything about him looked magical. His skin had no imperfections (like he had them before) under the moonlight and he was outlined more definitively as well. The only thing ruining the moment was how sad his eyes looked back at him.
“What, Akaashi?” Bokuto looked more concerned than angry now, which Akaashi supposed was a good thing. “You can tell me anything you know.”
Akaashi wasn’t the drunk who cried, no that wasn’t him. But in this moment, he could sense that’s what he’d become if this staring continued.
The staring didn’t continue, thankfully. Or unthankfully, since Bokuto took Akaashi into his arms and suddenly Akaashi was shaking. He was shaking really bad, and he didn’t exactly know why.
He could feel Bokuto’s breath on his skin. Hot traveled towards his ears and face. Leaning in, Bokuto told him, “I don’t know what’s going on with you, but it’s okay. I’m now going anywhere.”
This is what offset Akaashi into a crying maniac. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t stop just to even get a word out. With the help of Bokuto’s consoling and Bokuto lightly playing with Akaashi’s hair, he finally said what was on his mind.
“B-But you are going somewhere! A-And y-you’re leaving me behind, Bokuto!” He sniffled and partially began to collapse in the other’s embrace. “I-I’m scared I’m gonna mess up.”
“Oh,‘Shi.” He started rubbing his back now and let him have another moment to catch his breath. Then Bokuto began to speak again. “You don’t think I’m scared of messing up too?”
Akaashi looked up, and could see Bokuto was looking off somewhere distant. “Everytime I go on the court, I’m so worried I’m going to mess up everything we’ve worked so hard for. But then I realize I have my team with me, no matter what. And I have you.” For the last part, he did have some tears in his eyes, but looked to be fighting back for Akaashi’s sake. Or maybe his own.
Akaashi was mostly calmed all the way down, and he felt something else rise in his chest. And he just blurted it out. The secret he was so desperate to keep. “I’m not just going to miss you because you’re my best friend and Captain, Bokuto. I’m, like um, in love with you too.”
After he said it, he rubbed his eyes and temples, trying to get the memory out of his head as quick as possible. Dummy, you’re going to ruin everything-
“Why do you look so embarrassed? You’re acting like your feelings are one sided.” Bokuto chuckled, maybe in order to lighten the mood or maybe because he was surprised he confessed as well.
“Huh?” was the only thing he managed to get out.
“I thought it was obvious! I mean the third year’s we’re trying to hype me up tonight into telling you, so…” Bokuto had begun to grow a blush and Akaashi couldn’t help but laugh. “What’s so funny?”
“It’s just I thought you were making fun of my speech and just… had a better time with fun people. Compared to me.”
Bokuto looked at Akaashi, really looked at him. “Akaashi, you’re the person I look forward to seeing everyday. A-And if I don’t look excited to see you, it’s probably because I’m internally panicking on the inside.”
Akaashi didn’t know how to respond, so he just laughed it off. But Bokuto wanted him to really get what he was saying, so he held the other shoulders, and made him hear his words. “Akaashi, I know you’re going to do incredible things as the captain. And even if I’m not right next to you, know that I’m still there.” He kissed the other’s forehead then let a single tear slid down his cheek. “You’re going to do great things, Cap’.”
Akaashi was too tipsy to walk all the way home, so Bokuto offered to drive him back to his place to stay the night. It wasn’t too uncommon of a thing to happen for the two. On the way there, Bokuto had taken one hand off the steering wheel and intertwined their hands together.
A part of Akaashi wanted to remember tonight, while another wanted to act like this was all a big elaborate dream. But at the end of it all, he wanted Bokuto to be there with him for the next part of his volleyball journey. And Akaashi had a feeling the other wanted to be a part of it just as much.