Chapter Text
Never in your life did you think you’d ever be sitting in a desk at a Jedi training school waiting for the famous Ben Solo to teach you the ways of the Force. Just the thought sent a flutter of nervousness through your chest and caused your breath to hitch in your throat. You glanced around at the other trainees, all a few years your junior. You couldn’t help but feel like you didn’t belong here. You were too old to be a Jedi. Just as your self-doubt started to settle in your stomach, the door to the classroom swung open.
You’d never seen Ben Solo in the flesh, only heard rumors. That he was seven feet tall, that he walked with a limp, that a scar split his face in two. They weren’t entirely wrong. He was tall, taller than anyone you’d ever known. His gait was strong, heavy. He did have a scar, but it was faded, stretching from his eyebrow down his neck. You felt yourself audibly gasp as you drank in his features; pink, pillow-like lips, dark midnight eyes coupled with matching eye bags. He didn’t sleep much it seemed. His long black waves kissed his broad shoulders. He was beautiful.
“Good morning, trainees,” his deep voice boomed, echoing around the room. He offered a small smirk.
“Good morning,” the class repeated back to him with little enthusiasm. I think they were all as taken by him as you were.
He prattled on about something to do with bravery and determination, his voice velvety in your ears.
“Some of you will not make it to the end of this training,” he said, his eyes scanning the room, presumably looking for obvious weakness. “And some of you will come out of this as powerful Jedi, ready to serve the Resistance.”
His eyes fell to you and lingered for just a moment too long. His eyebrow twitched with intrigue. Your cheeks flushed with heat and you dropped your gaze to your fingers. When you looked back up, he’d moved on to someone else. You released the tension in your shoulders with a slight sigh. His speech continued but you could barely hear him over your heartbeat.
You’d had crushes in the past, boyfriends, lovers even, but you’d never found someone who kept your attention for long, growing bored of the repetitive nature of monogamy too quickly. Not many people gave you a reaction like this, a prickle in the back of your neck, a cacophony of butterflies in your belly. There was strange electricity that surged through you when you caught his eyes and I think he could feel it too.
“I hope you’re all ready,” he says, clasping his hands together. You noticed how large they looked. “Your training begins tomorrow.”
He presses his lips together and turns to leave, but pauses with one hand over the doorknob.
“At dawn.”
He flees the room, avoiding the collective groan at the early morning call. You didn’t mind. You wouldn’t sleep anyway.
You walked back to your dorm room that you shared with a roommate. Callie was nice enough, bit boring though. She was a reader, always curled up around a book, usually some old Jedi text. All of her family were Jedi back when they existed freely. It was in her blood to be a Jedi. She had been here a month when you arrived. You wondered what it felt like to follow a family legacy or even have a family.
As you unlocked the door, you heard a loud gasp and frantic rustling.
“Callie?” you asked, slowly opening the door. “Everything okay?”
You crept into the room, looking around for her. You found her in her bed as usual, except she had her blanket pulled up over her shoulder. Her hair looked a mess and her cheeks were a bright tomato red.
“I didn’t know you’d be back so soon,” she said from beneath the blanket.
Your knit your eyebrows together, crossing your arms and staring at her until the realization washed over you.
“Are you naked under there?” you asked, a smirk spreading across your face.
She looked down at the floor, unable to meet your gaze. She nodded, plunging her face under the sheets.
You giggled quietly into your hand, trying to save her any more embarrassment.
“I’ll go grab some food. You get dressed. I’ll be back in an hour,” you said, turning your back to her and quickly exiting the room. You chuckled again to yourself and took off for the cafeteria.
As you moved through the hallway, you scanned the facility, taking in your surroundings. You passed a few regular doors before finding one with a keypad. It was the only one in this hall with a passcode. Along with the keypad, there was a small rectangular window into the room. The light was on. You shrugged, placing both palms on the door to perch yourself on your tiptoes. You could barely reach the window but you were just tall enough to peer in.
It was Ben Solo.
He wore a fitted gray tank top and sweatpants, his long hair tied into a bun as the nape of his neck. Beads of sweat pooled on his face, giving him a sparkly glisten. His cheeks puffed up with air then blew out again. He held a blue lightsaber in both hands. He swung at the air, doing a series of maneuvers that looked like they should have been impossible, but he made them look effortless. You watched him for a few moments, letting your eyes wander down his broad frame. His muscles bulged against the fabric of his shirt, daring the seams to give loose. You bit your lip, allowing your thoughts to wander too. You became so lost, you didn’t even notice him catching you staring. He strode to the door, you still not noticing, and rapped his knuckles along the metal.
You nearly fell backward but caught yourself on the wall. The door opened quickly and he stood against the doorframe with a devilish grin, laughing to himself.
“Enjoy the show?” he teased.
“I’ve seen better,” you retorted, steadying yourself.
His eyebrows raised in disbelief. “Let’s see it then.”
He gestured for you to join him. Too prideful to let him win, you stepped into the room. It was bright, with white padded walls and concrete floors. You squinted at the fluorescent lights, trying to force your eyes to adjust. Ben pulled another saber off the wall and tossed it to you. You reached out to catch it, but it was heavier than you’d imagined and you nearly dropped it. Another smug smirk touched his lips as he spun his saber at his side.
You adjusted your grip around the hilt. You’d never actually held a lightsaber before. You ran the metal along your palm, taking in every contour and making yourself memorize it. Once you’d felt properly acquainted, you met Ben’s eyes. They were narrowed, dark and looming.
“Ready?” he asked, but before you could answer, he charged at you.
You lifted your saber above your head, your heart stops as the blades met and clanged in your ears. Your eyes found his face, his smirk faded into a straight line. He pushed off of you, knocking you to the ground.
“Get up!” he demanded. You did as you were told, hopping to your feet and planting them, ready for his next attack.
Except he just stood there.
“Are you going to advance or not?”
A snarl ripped through your lips and with a yell, you charged at him, saber over your head. He merely extended one hand and snatched the saber out of your hands. You were thrown off balance and again, you fell to the ground.
You stared up at the ceiling, desperate to shrink and fade into the ground. Ben leaned over you, his hair making a dark halo around his face.
“You cheated,” you spat at him, rolling out from under him and sitting up with your back to him. “You didn’t say you were going to use the Force.”
“And neither will your enemy.”
He had a point. You knew he was right. You felt his presence looming behind you. You curled into a ball, pressing your forehead into your knees and forcing back sobs. Maybe you weren’t cut out for this Jedi thing.
He whispered your name and lowered himself to the ground next to you. Even sitting, he looked like a giant. He placed one hand on your back, sending a crackle through your spine.
“You’ll get the hang of it,” he assured you. “It takes time and a lot of work. You don’t become a Jedi in one day.”
You sniffled into your pants, wrapping your arms tighter around your legs.
“How long did it take you?” you asked, turning your head toward him, resting your cheek on your kneecap.
“Months.”
“Really?” you said, a hint of surprise in your voice. You lifted your head slightly.
“Yeah, it’s a lot of work,” he laughed. “And I know you’re destined for greatness. I can feel it.”
You blinked up at him, tears clouding your vision. “You can?”
He nodded. “Now, get up, trainee. We’ve got work to do.”
He stood quickly and reached out a hand to you. You placed your hand in his, his palm nearly two times of the size of yours. He pulled you up with ease, your nose nearly touching his chin. His cologne and natural musk intermingled in your nostrils, a heavenly scent. You bit the inside of your cheek as he released your hand from his and shoved the hilt of the saber in its place. You took in a deep breath as he stepped away from you and readied himself. He gave you a reassuring nod.
“Ready when you are.”