Chapter Text
The rain beat down on the street outside, the sky becoming alight by the crackle of thunder and lightning. Eve had expected this oncoming slaughter of weather, it was all the news outlets had been talking about for the last couple of weeks, storm Phoebe being plastered along news headlines and article headings.
She sat on the settee, her legs tucked underneath herself as she sipped from a warm mug, cocooned in the warm blankets she had draped over her upper body. She watched as the pictures on the television dimly illuminated the dark room, having left only a lamp turned on, enough to light the path to the door and kitchenette, leaving the rest of the room shrouded in shadows. While she had tried to engage with what the characters were saying on TV, a show she was trying to catch up on, her mind wandered back to the figure that still plagued her even after having clocked off for the weekend only two days prior, the small bit of rest bite she was allocated each week.
After taking the job as Villanelle’s personal security guard she wondered if those before her had become equally obsessed with the woman, sometimes having to catch herself observing the tall, young blonde more than her surroundings. Her attempt at reprimanding her actions worked the first handful of times she had realised she was tracing the outline of Villanelle’s jaw and how even the action of talking the woman made look elegant.
Even now, as she sat in the empty town house located in a London suburb, her mind wandered to the woman, how she wondered what she was doing, what she had eaten for dinner, how her weekend had been, where she had gone, who she had talked too. It was all consuming, as if she had lost control even over her own thoughts, that even though Villanelle may not realise it, she held that power over Eve. It had enraged her at first, someone as fiercely independent as she was to become entranced over the woman she was employed to protect, yet it had warn on her over time, wearing down her defences to the point where each night she would go to sleep thinking of her.
She wouldn’t admit it, or at least she tried to push the fact away that part of her was gleeful for the time she spent around her, whether it was traipsing along to a shopping spree she suddenly decided to go on or partying in an obnoxiously packed and loud club that only grated on Eve’s nerves. There were times she wondered if Villanelle deliberately chose these sporadic trips just to annoy her, to see how far she could push before Eve either broke or left. She also wondered if she was delusional to be having thoughts such as this, to think Villanelle would even care enough to take the time to specifically annoy her.
She knew the track record the woman had, she’d spent weeks researching her and scrutinising over the files she had been given by Konstantin upon her employment, finding out as much information as she could. She told herself it was because she wanted to be prepared, ready for whatever the woman through at her, yet there was that voice at the back of her head, the one she tried to ignore above anything else, the one that told her it wasn’t just because she wanted to be prepared, the one that said she saw something in the woman the first day she locked eyes with her. How it felt as if she were a puzzle that was impossible to decipher, that you could spend years studying and analysing yet never fully understand.
Even if she wouldn’t admit it to herself, deep down part of her knew this research and growing obsession had been the final nail in the coffin of her crumbling Marriage. How Nikos final words had stuck in her mind like thorns.
“I know how much your work means to you, but you have to see what this is doing to you…” to us.
He trailed off then, looking at Eve meaningfully, hoping she was able to understand what he wanted to say.
“Ok…”
He sighed tiredly, bringing his hand up to rub against his temple before laying it back down on the kitchen table.
“Ever since you took this job…”
He stopped then, the words feeling as if they didn’t sit right.
“I know you think you’ve tried and that we can carry on as we are, but I can’t anymore, and I think deep down you know that.”
She still remembers the emotions that had flitted through her upon hearing those words, how she had felt grief, anger, sadness and then ultimately nothing, having entered a state of indifference. Part of her wondered what had hurt more, Niko finally admitting what had been left unspoken for weeks, months even, or the fact that she felt nothing.
“Niko…”
She knew that there should have been something that surfaced, that she should have said anything in an attempt to salvage their marriage, yet no words had come, no reasoning or argument in an attempt to make him stay.
He had shaken his head after a beat, realising Eve had nothing to say, beginning to chuckle almost ironically.
“This is what I mean, you don’t talk to me anymore—“
She tried to cut him off.
“I do—“
“No, you don’t… I’m sorry Eve but I can’t be in a relationship with someone that can’t or doesn’t even want to try and talk to me, I think we both know I deserve more than that.”
And she did, she knew he deserved more, more than someone that had become transfixed by the woman she was employed to protect.
“I’ll… I’ll call you in a couple of days and we can discuss what to do about the house and… and everything else.”
He had risen from his chair then, pulling the jacket that had rested along its back as he did so, sliding his arms into its sleeves as it came to rest on his shoulders. He leant over the chair, swiping his keys of the kitchen table, he looked up at Eve then, their eyes connecting, he smiled ruefully at her one last time, before turning and beginning to make his way out of the room.
“Niko, I… I’m sorry.”
He stopped in the door frame, briefly turning back to look at Eve.
“I know.”
They’d filed for divorce months ago now, having sat down and discussed terms and conditions over an arranged location and time over the phone. They had agreed Eve could keep the house, Niko saying that he had arranged staying at a friends for a couple of nights until he could find somewhere to rent.
Eve would have been lying if she said she wasn’t relieved, even with the memories that came with keeping a hold of the property she still loved the place, even if it felt unnervingly empty now. They had discussed what to do with their joint accounts and Nikos possessions, continuing on to say they would withdraw whatever they had put into each account and request for them to be closed. Niko going on to say he would come and collect what was his in a couple of days and rent a storage unit until he found something more permanent.
After this discussion it felt as if everything had whirl winded around her, Niko coming to collect his belongings, their accounts being closed and ultimately the letter confirming they had filed for divorce and the one that came weeks after, finalising the whole ordeal.
Yet even now, as she sat in an empty house, she felt little pain over Nikos absence, that their marriage had crumbled due to her own actions and the fact that what hurt her more than him leaving had been how even now, she still felt indifferent. How she had always known it was going to come to this, since the day she typed Villanelle into the search engine and clicked on the first image result, part of her had known, deep down, even if she herself hadn’t been aware of it, she knew it was only a matter of time before this day came.
It had been the first day she actually met her, Villanelle, when their eyes had connected and the intensity that came with it, what she had seen in them, cat like, alert and smouldering, how that intensity seemed to rise from her very core and appeared to consume anything she laid eyes upon. Even if she was unaware of the fact, deep down it cemented what she had seen in all of the images she scrutinised over, how Villanelle was someone she wanted to figure out, to decipher and learn.
Eve sighed tiredly as the rain and thunder continued outside, placing her now cold and near empty mug on the coffee table in front of the now blank TV, having payed little attention to the show that was playing. Groaning loudly to herself she sunk further into the cushions, her heading falling back. She stared up at the ceiling, her eyes unblinking as she traced the imperfections littered within the plaster.
“I’m so fucked.”