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Language:
English
Series:
Part 1 of Le Bébé de Shuuneki
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Published:
2014-09-26
Updated:
2016-07-22
Words:
2,192
Chapters:
4/?
Comments:
25
Kudos:
338
Bookmarks:
24
Hits:
4,454

Le Bébé

Summary:

A series of drabbles based on my original drabble, Minutes in a Ball Pit (in which Tsukiyama and Kaneki are proud parents of a precious ghoul child named Laramie). Featuring hits such as Tsukiyama making PLAYFUL DAD NOISES while others rightfully look on in disgust and concern for a child's safety.

shuu: i'm gonna eat the baby
kaneki: don't eat the baby
shuu: i'm eating the baby

Chapter 1: Metaphorically Delicious

Notes:

"The impulse that I described in this [drabble] does not take the form of an urge to literally bite, chew, and digest a small infant.

Rather, in my experience at least, it arises in utterances such as, 'Your baby is so cute I could just eat him all up!' and in behaviors such as placing the baby's toes against the lips and repeatedly uttering the syllable 'nom,' in an attempt to elicit a giggle from the baby.

I hope that you will not only stand firm with me in refraining from infant cannibalism, but that you will also urge your friends, family members, and neighbors to do the same."

Chapter Text

“I’m going to eat the baby.” Tsukiyama held the infant up by the crook of his arms. The baby stared back in bewilderment. Wide eyed, mouth partially open. Not a single sound escaped the small vessel. Laramie Tsukiyama was like this with the Gourmet, silent and curious. If he was afraid, he never showed it.

“Don’t eat the baby.” Kaneki looked up from the novel he was, in this case, rereading. It didn’t bring him the same excitement it once did, but it remained one of his favorites. A boy becomes an insect. Kaneki spared a smirk at the irony.

“Too late, mon amour. Le bébé est mine.” Tsukiyama slid to his knees, dropping Laramie onto the light green sofa.

Kaneki glanced up, watching from behind white bangs. His silence was alarming, but his careful eye spoke otherwise.

Shuu slid a hand up Laramie’s stomach, bunching the red and blue striped shirt up and exposing pearly white skin. “Exquisite,” he murmured under his breath before looking over to Kaneki a pride threatening to show at the edges of his smile. “Is it not?”

Briefly catching Touka’s eye from where she stood, disinterested, behind the couch where Kaneki rest, Shuu smirked. Laramie meanwhile remained silent, almost eerily so. Noise from Laramie was rare unless he was overstimulated or hungry, and his parents made sure he was never starving.

Tsukiyama pressed his mouth to the skin above Laramie’s navel and proceeded to make the most awkward noises that were supposed to resemble the noises parents make when they’re pretending to each their child to elicit giggles from the infant. From Shuu, they sounded normal if not a bit concerning. And everyone was clearly unsettled.

“Can you please, you know, not?” Nishiki snapped, fingers tightening around the handle of his cup. “I am honestly not sure if I’m disgusted or concerned for the brat’s safety right now.”

Tsukiyama, lips not leaving Laramie’s belly, glanced up to lock eyes with the irritable ghoul. “Problema?” He muffled the question, blowing air out his mouth in a rather silly follow-up to the slightly challenging question. Laramie’s responding giggles resulted in a grin spreading across Shuu’s lips before he blew once more.

Shuu looked up at Kaneki, smiling with strands of purple falling over his face in a way uncharacteristic of his normally perfect hair.

“Did you hear that, Kaneki? He laughed.”

“He’s happy?” Kaneki raised an eyebrow. “Babies do that when they’re happy.”

Kaneki looked back down, burying his face in his reading to obscure the threatening smile.

But of course Tsukiyama noticed.

And then he smiled too.