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As much as Callum desperately wanted to pretend that he wasn’t, he was nervous. Well, that was an understatement- he was shitting himself. So much so that Whitney had had to almost push him out of the house that they shared that morning before he locked himself in his room. It wasn’t like he didn’t want to go- he’d been dreaming on standing on a stage like that for years, but it was something that had been buried within him for so long. In the family he came from, if you were anything but a tough, hyper-masculine man, you were a target. It was an idea that had been ingrained in him from a young age, but one that he’d never really understood. Callum had never been the smartest, or the strongest, or the most fearless, but he cared- too much, his dad would tell him. He cared about the people that he loved, and he cared about protecting those that he could. That wasn’t good enough for his dad, so he’d swallowed down his dream of the stage from his teen years. Then, he’d followed his dad’s path, the one that had been set out for him, maybe to prove something to himself, or his father. That had taken him to the army- far off places, sights of dusty roads stained with blood and civilian houses torn to shreds by gunfire and shrapnel bombs. He was never cut out for the army- he’d gone in a caring, mostly-happy man, just trying to please his father and do something good with his life. He’d tried to convince himself that it was where he was meant to be, but telling himself lies had never made a difference. He returned home a different person- still careful and caring, but with memories that would never leave him and a scar that marred the left side of his chest like a huge crack in his body.
But, as much as the army had changed him perhaps not for the better, he’d had Chris. Chris, with his bright laugh and even brighter eyes, and a smile that would be forever burnt into Callum’s subconscious, no matter how many years passed. Yet, somehow, that had become the thing that he regretted most- not meeting Chris, or what they’d had, but not having more. In reality, he’d known the truth- of course he had, and Chris had probably known too – but he’d been too scared to say anything. He’d been too scared to admit his darkest secret- he was gay.
When Callum had been sent home from his last tour, they’d assigned him a therapist. He’d gotten himself a little apartment in a quieter corner of London, a lovely, albeit loud, roommate, and a job in a little café around the corner. Whitney had been lovely ever since he’d moved in – her bright, bubbly personality was enough to fill in the quiet moments, and she hadn’t gotten annoyed when he woke her up with his nightmares, just sitting by his bed instead, holding his hand. She’d also been the first person that he’d come out to- stuttering out an embarrassed ‘I’m gay’ when she’d tried to make a move on him once. They’d laughed about it afterwards, and she’d thanked him for telling her, and that was that. He was able to settle into a simple routine here- this was his life now, quiet and peaceful, and he had no complaints.
-
It was his therapist that had suggested it at first. Right now, though, Callum wanted to kill her for it. He’d mentioned in passing once that he’d always loved the theatre, and she had pointed out that it would maybe be good for him to have a creative outlet. He’d laughed it off, saying that he was too shy for the theatre, but she hadn’t taken that an excuse. She’d sent him the link for an audition at a local theatre instead.
“’Blood Brothers’? Callum, you should do it! What’s the harm in auditioning?” Whitney had said.
“What’s the harm?” Callum had replied incredulously. “I could make a complete fool of myself, Whit. I haven’t done anything like that in years, and I weren’t even that good back then.”
“Who said that, a professional, or your dad?” Whitney had said softly. He didn’t need to answer. “Look, I get why you’re scared, but maybe it’s time to give yourself a bit of a challenge. Just go and do the audition, if it goes terribly, then that’s something you can cross off your list, yeah? Something that you didn’t think you could do, but you did.”
Callum sighed- as much as he had hated to admit it, her response did make sense. S, he’d gone to the stupid audition, with Whitney by his side. She’d practically leapt on him when he was done, asking him why he never told her he could act that well.
“Never thought I was all that good, to be honest,” he’d said in response. “So I didn’t look like a complete dipshit then?”
She just laughed and shook her head in response.
-
Somehow, he’d only gone and gotten the fucking part. He’d been ecstatic at the time, but right then, stood outside the theatre, he was regretting every choice he’d ever made. They’d asked him to come in alone today, to meet the actor who was playing Mickey, as they needed to get along relatively well. That was the thing that made his palms sweat more than anything- he’d always hated meeting new people, especially without the barrier of another person to protect his awkwardness. Now though, it was just him, no Whitney to fill in the awkward silences.
“You gonna come in, or just stand there like a lemon?” a voice said from just in front of him, startling him out of his daydream. He looked around to see a man staring at him from the entrance, and shit- he was handsome. The man had these eyes, piercing blue and sharp, that Callum could feel boring into him even from here. One eyebrow was raised towards fluffy brown hair, messily styled on his head. His mouth was pulled into a smirk. He was dressed in a black leather jacket, over a maroon shirt that just came low enough to reveal the top of the man’s collarbones in a way that made the breath leave Callum’s lungs.
The man was properly attractive, and Callum was screwed.
“Y-yeah, sorry, I was just- I’m new,” he said, sidling up to the other man with all the courage he could muster. He held a hand out in front of him. “Callum Highway.”
The other man just raised his eyebrow further, and looked Callum up and down. “So you’re the newbie, huh? Ben Mitchell,” he said, reaching for the door behind him, leaving Callum’s hand hanging awkwardly in mid-air. “Welcome to theatre, Halfway.”
With that he turned and walked into the theatre, leaving Callum somewhat speechless.
He was so fucked.
-
As it turned out, he wouldn’t be able to just subtly ignore Ben like he’d hoped to, because, as fate just loved to screw him over, Ben was playing Mickey, the character that he was supposed to be best friends with. He’d spent the next weeks of rehearsal trying not to let himself be caught staring at Ben, but it was fruitless most of the time, as the man was pretty talented- and, well, it certainly didn’t help that the lights of the stage just enhanced his features. The only issue was that the man had serious attitude. He walked into the theatre every day like he owned the place, being snarky to the ensemble and the backstage crew, who didn’t even bother to return a comment. When he’d asked someone about it, it transpired that this was just who Ben was- not a bully, but just annoying to an impressive degree. Yet, Callum seemed to slip under his radar most of the time, probably because he was new. They didn’t say much to each other – mainly because Ben ignored most of attempts at a conversation – but Callum just couldn’t get the other man out of his head.
Maybe it was because he hadn’t been on a date in almost 6 months, but Callum’s interest in him only developed over the rehearsal time of the show. He’d tried to talk to Whitney about it, but had ditched that idea as soon as her only advice had been to ask him out, because he really didn’t want to be laughed out of the theatre. He’d finally found something that he actually enjoyed doing, and he wasn’t going to let a stupid little crush ruin it.
But of course, the universe loved to fuck with him, so it was never going to be quite that simple.
-
“You know, you need to actually try and intimidate me, Halfway. Can’t get angry at you if you don’t give me a reason.”
Callum prickled at the nickname- Ben hadn’t stopped calling him by it since they’d met, and he hated it with a passion. They’d been stuck doing the same scene for an hour, Ben seemingly delighting in annoying him. The other crew had gone already, leaving just him and Ben on the stage. His nerves were on edge now, leaving him irritated and restless after being stuck on his feet all day with very little sleep the night before thanks to a nightmare.
“Ben, come on. Let’s just try the scene again,” he replied, rubbing a hand over his tired eyes, when Ben turned away, muttering something that was undoubtedly an insult under his breath. Irritation prickled at the base of Callum’s neck.
“You got something you want to say, Ben?” Callum said, his fists clenched. Ben tuned back to him, a smirk stuck on his face.
“Nothing for your ears, Halfway.”
“Do you really have to call me that?” Callum said, his voice rising.
“Ooh, do you not like it? Sorry mate, I like a good nickname- think it adds character, don’t you?” Ben replied, coming closer to Callum.
“I ain’t your mate, alright? Let’s just get on with this,” Callum replied.
“Alright,” Ben said, hands up in the air in surrender. “Halfway.”
Callum snapped. He threw the script that he’d been holding to the floor and pushed on Ben’s shoulders, forcing him into the wall behind him. Ben grinned, letting out a small shocked laugh, as if he was having the time of his life. Fury beat through Callum’s veins, but when he came face to face with Ben, the only thing that he could focus on was how hungry the other man’s eyes looked, and how close their lips were together. They stood like that for what felt like ages, the tension between them hard and palpable in the air. Neither made a move, but Callum couldn’t stop his eyes from drifting to Ben’s lips- before he could stop himself, he surged forward, pressing his lips into Ben’s hungrily. The other man was still for a second before he began to kiss Callum back fiercely. All too quickly, Callum became aware of what he had done and forced himself to pull back.
“Ben-“
“Kiss me,” Ben panted out, is hand coming up to clasp around Callum’s neck and pulled him back in. their lips crashing together again.
It was weird- it wasn’t like Callum hadn’t kissed a guy before, but this felt like something so much more. Ben’s lips were warm and hungry against his own, a groan escaping the smaller man’s mouth. Ben’s hands were in Callum’s hair, tugging at the strands, pushing him impossibly closer. It was odd- he’d been thinking about this since the first time he’d seen Ben, but he’d never thought that it would actually happen. Ben would certainly never make a move on him (or so he’d thought) and he couldn’t imagine himself doing it either. It was as if time stopped as they kissed, and Callum’s world narrowed to the feeling of Ben’s lips against his, forgetting for a moment where they were. When he pulled away, gasping for breath, he was pleased to see that Ben was just as flushed and breathless as he was. Ben’s eyes flicked down quickly to Callum’s trousers, and a smirk pushed onto his face.
“My roommate’s out,” Callum gasped out before he could stop himself. Ben raised his eyebrow.
“Empty house? Maybe you’re not quite as innocent as I thought, Callum.”
-
It took until the morning for it to actually hit him; Ben Mitchell, the man that had gotten on his nerves on a daily basis since he’d started the play, was laid in bed next to him, naked. He didn’t even have the excuse of being drunk. Well, it wasn’t exactly like he regretted it- he’d had a crush on Ben for just as log, and he was undoubtedly very attractive (and let’s face it, Callum was sort of desperate, having not dated in months), but that didn’t make it feel any more unusual. The other man was still peacefully asleep, his perfect hair mussed and messy in the morning light. Callum tried not to let himself stare, but he couldn’t help it- if Ben had been hot last night, this morning, with the light through Callum’s window just catching on his face, he was downright beautiful.
Calum shook himself out of his thoughts- for all he knew, he was just a one night stand to Ben, a way to let off some steam until their next rehearsal. He couldn’t let himself get caught up in some fantasy after one night. Carefully, so as to not wake Ben prematurely, he pulled himself out of the room, grabbing a shirt quickly before closing the door behind him quietly.
“Walk of shame, by any chance?”
Callum jumped out of his skin, doing his best not to be quiet. He shot around to find Whitney, dressed in her bright pink dressing gown, sipping a cup of coffee with a smug look on her face.
“Jesus, Whit. What are you doing? I thought you were with Bianca all weekend?” Callum replied, carefully skirting the subject of the other man in his room, hoping that Whitney hadn’t noticed. Of course, he’d never be that lucky.
“What, you wanted me out the house so you could sleep with Mr Handsome, who you literally haven’t stopped talking about for weeks?” Whitney said, an eyebrow raised.
A blush shot across Callum’s cheeks. “Um, how-?”
“The two of you were making weird sex noises all night,” she said casually, as if talking about the weather. “And you’ve got hickeys on your neck.”
“Shit,” Callum said quietly, and walked over to look at himself in the mirror. Sure enough, sat just below his jaw, was a trail of dark red marks, leading down the side of his neck. “Oh my god-“
“Morning.”
Callum whipped around, a startled look in his eyes, to find Ben standing in his bedroom doorway looking just as smug as Whitney, with only what looked suspiciously like Callum’s boxers on. Whitney looked to Ben, and then back to Callum, looking as if she was holding in laughter.
“I’ll just give you two a minute,” she said, before retreating to her bedroom.
“Hope that was your roommate, not your girlfriend,” Ben said, the endearing little smirk of his sat on his face.
“Y-yeah, sorry. That was my roommate, Whitney,” Callum stuttered under the hungry glare with which Ben was now staring at him.
“Sorry about the hickeys,” Ben said, even though he looked anything but. Callum felt a blush burn across his cheeks and he looked away, desperate not to make a fool of himself.
“Tea? Coffee?” Callum said instead, diverting the subject.
“Coffee, please,” the other man replied, following Callum over to the kitchen area.
“You do this a lot, then? Sleep with the cast?” Callum said, faking confidence with his back to Ben. Ben laughed in response.
“Only the hot ones,” he replied, causing Callum to turn about around.
“You think I’m-?”
“Course I do. It’s so easy to make you blush, as well,” Ben relied, smiling.
Callum laughed nervously in response. Whitney’s voice was in his head, shouting at him to ‘get himself out there’. Before he lost the courage, he walked back over to Ben.
“Do you date the cast, as well?”
Ben looked pleasantly surprised by that, nodding approvingly at Callum. “Only the hot ones.”
Callum tried his best to hold back the stupid grin pulling at his mouth. “That a yes, then?”
Ben grinned. “I’m free Saturday.”
Callum nodded, smiling to himself. Maybe this wouldn’t be a grand new relationship after Chris, his grand moving on, but it was a start, at least.