Chapter Text
Tony Stark pulled up to the building, and Peter Parker and Harley Keener undid their seatbelts. Peter faced Harley. "This is how it's going to go down. You and I-"
Tony interrupted him, spotting a suited old man."Guy's going by. Shh." They waited until the old man headed into the building to talk.
"You and I are going to sneak inside and pretend that we are interns. And then we will silly string the bejeezus out of the place," Peter continued, holding up silly string.
Harley nodded. "And if we have to defend ourselves, I will stab the security guy in the eye with the jumbo chalk," he replied, holding up chalk that was in his pocket. When they were getting ready to go, he had seen Harley put jumbo chalk in his pocket but he figured it was better not to ask questions.
Tony held out a hand. "No, no, you won't do that. Nope." It was bad enough that they were planning on pranking Pepper. If Harley stabbed the guy in the eye with chalk, Pepper would kill him.
"Then I'll grind up the jumbo chalk and blow it in his eyes." Why was this kid so obsessed with eyes?
Tony sighed. "Harley, nothing with the eyes, please?"
Harley nodded. "Okay, Tony." He found it funny in a way that Peter called him Mr. Stark (no matter how many times he told him to call him Tony) but Harley called him Tony.
Tony looked out the window and saw Pepper, her ginger hair up in a bun, wearing a white dress going to her car."Oh my God, that's her! That's her, go, go, go!," he urged as the teens opened up the doors.
"Let's move! Move, move, move, move!" Harley exclaimed, pushing Peter out of the car. Tony turned on the walkie-talkie and waited.
Peter: We are in a stairwell.
Harley: We are climbing some stairs.
Peter: I'm breathing heavily.
Tony rolled his eyes. "Guys, you don't need to be updating me as much as you're updating me."
Peter: There's a guy, there's a guy.
Harley: There's a security guard coming by. Hello, we're interns. Would you like more proof?
Peter: Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, that was so close.
Harley: I can see the security guard's eyes.
Tony rolled his eyes again. If this kid harmed a security guard- "No, no, don't do anything to them."
Harley: I have to do something to his eyes.
Tony sighed. He had a feeling he was going to have to fill out an injury report for a security guard very soon. "Alright, Great Spidey, if you found that choking hazard poster, just head on home."
Peter: We found something far better, Mr. Stark. The industrial copier.
Tony frowned, remembering how adamant Pepper was that they get the best copier available. She went on about it for weeks until she bought it. "Isn't that thing huge?"
Peter: It's enormous, but it's got wheels so we're okay.
Harley: We're wheeling it down the hall, into the stairwell. Get the car ready, keep the engine running.
Tony had to stop them. "No, that is a terrible idea, don't do it!" He couldn't help but chuckle to himself at the fact that he was so used to other people telling him not to do stuff, yet he was now telling others the same thing.
Peter: Aha! *crashing sound*
Harley: My hip bone!
"Jesus, are you guys okay?" Tony asked, seriously regretting ever agreeing to this idea.
Peter: We're wedged between the copier and the railing. Ah! Ow! Ow, my leg! Save yourself, Mr. Stark!
Harley: Don't leave us, help us, we need help Tony!
"Okay first of all, stop using my name. Second of all-"
Peter: *groaning* Harley, you gotta move!
"Damn it guys!" Great, now they were injured and stuck. This prank had gone wrong, fast.
Peter: Could you move over a little bit?
Tony's eyes widened as he saw Pepper pull back into the parking lot and get out of her car. "Oh my god, Pepper's back!" He exclaimed, praying that she wouldn't notice his car.
Peter: Did you say Pepper?
Harley: Distract her! Take her back to your house, and have sex.
"As tempting as that is, I can't leave you guys," he replied. Looking up, he saw Pepper walking towards his car. For a split second, he was ready to drive away but he knew he couldn't just leave Peter and Harley.
Pepper came up to his window. "Tony?"
He smiled innocently. "Hey, Pep."
"Uh, what are you doing here? I thought you were supposed to be training with Peter and Harley?" She asked curiously.
"I'm just checking on Stark Industries. You know, making sure it's not on fire." Tony immediately regretted his statement.
Pepper arched her eyebrows. "So you think I can't run a company?"
He shook his head. "No, no I'm just making sure things are good."
Harley: Do not tell Pepper about the industrial copier.
Pepper glanced at the walkie-talkie and crossed her arms together, staring Tony down. "Copy that," he spoke into the walkie-talkie. He was in so much trouble.
….....................................................................................................................
(All original dialogue except for the first line-added in the "boys")
Tony, Harley, and Peter were seated across from Pepper who was sitting in her office chair staring them down. "Let me ask you, did you boys accomplish what you wanted?"
Peter shrugged. "Not exactly...we're sorry, Mrs. Stark," he replied, nervously fiddling with his fingers.
Harley scoffed. "I'm not! That was fun!" He exclaimed.
Tony rolled his eyes. "Look, Pep, it was meant to be an innocent prank. I had no idea they were going to try to steal the industrial copier," he apologized, glaring at both of them.
She sighed and pinched the temple of her nose. "Do you boys have any idea how much work I have to do here? I can't have you guys interrupting my work with your pranks!"
"I'm sorry, Pep," Tony apologized.
"This won't happen again?"
Tony nodded. "It won't happen again." She excused them from her office and the more Tony thought about it, the more he realized he did have fun after all.