Chapter Text
“Little pig, little pig-let me in,” I heard a gruff voice call from the gates with an accompanying metallic clang and rattle, as I was taking my little sister Judith out for a walk. Rolling my eyes, I let out a huff of breath and started back to our house.
I passed Dad as he was rushing to the gates, he paused long enough to kiss my forehead and hers. I smiled at him in encouragement and continued toward the house. Negan. The murderous psycho that killed two of ours wasn’t supposed to come by for another couple of days. I wasn’t surprised. Clearly he was an asshole.
I hadn’t been with the others during the mission to flatten the Saviors. Dad had decided that I was more helpful to them if I stayed in Alexandria and kept morale up, while also taking care of Judith. That was fine with me. Not that I was afraid of standing up for our people, but honestly, usually my mouth tended to get ALL of us in more trouble then we started with. My only excuse, and one I was careful not to use too often, was that I’d been an only child for my first six years of life. Dad and Mom had spoiled me rotten, and by the time Carl came along, well it was way too late to reign me in. My mouth at least. Mom had called me “Sassy Pants”.
Bouncing Judith in my arms, kissing her silky blonde curls, I considered whether I should rush inside and stay far away from Negan and his minions, or settle on the porch in one of the white rocking chairs and watch. Dad would probably want me to hide, with Judith, inside. Unfortunately, I rarely considered what Dad would want. I mean, I kind of wanted to see how horrific this dickhead was for myself. But I didn’t want him or his people to see Judith. I rushed into the house, carrying her upstairs, and was happy to see that she was clearly ready for a nap. I grabbed one of the baby monitor’s receivers and pushed it into the pocket of my skinny jeans. I had it turned loud enough to feel the vibrations, just in case she woke up in the middle of the unannounced visit.
Rushing back downstairs, I opened the front door and sat down on the top step. This would give me more options to run, if I chose the chair, jumping over the banister might break my damn leg. As I sat, I considered what Carl had told me about the night Abe and Glenn had died. The night Negan stole Daryl away. The night he nearly forced Dad to cut my baby brother’s arm off. I’d felt so much rage and pain since that night. Losing so much, especially when I saw how fucking broken he’d made Dad. Nothing had hurt him so much that he lost sight of what was important, but now? Now he was almost a husk.
Things had been tense, not just in the community, but in our house. Michonne and Dad seemed almost on pins and needles around one another. Carl looked like he’d rather do nothing other than storm the gates and take Negan’s head himself. And little Judith was picking up on the entire mess and making her sleep less restful. Me? I felt like I had when we first learned that the dead walked. Like nothing could get fucking worse, but then God laughed and considered that thought a fucking challenge.
I heard that same gruff voice give an order that made little sense, until I caught a glimpse of Dad walking beside a tall man in a leather jacket, barbed wire baseball bat on his shoulder. Negan, I thought, and then my eyes caught the reason for the order. “You don’t look at him, you don’t talk to him, and I don’t make you chop anything off of him.” Daryl was creeping alongside one of the minions. He was dressed in the dingiest sweats I’d ever seen, looking far worse than I’d ever seen him look before. Saviors? I snorted to myself. Sure.
I watched, trying to decide if Negan looked as scary as everyone felt he was. He came closer and more in focus, and I tilted my head. Dark hair, slicked back like an old fashioned greaser, a little gray brushing here and there. His face was far more salt than pepper, but his scruff looked too perfect, deliberately careless. The leather jacket was more fitted than I’d imagined. The bat was less intimidating, but then again, he wasn’t playing a disturbing game of “Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe” with me. The rest of him looked like most of the men in my life, just far cleaner than I thought he’d be.
“And what do we have here?” He whistled and I saw my dad flinch. Shit, guess I’d been too far inside my own head to realize they’d grown closer and now the asshole had his attention focused on me. “Shit, Rick, who the fuck is this little beauty?”
I rolled my eyes and stood, crossing my arms across my semi loose wine colored v-neck t-shirt. I really hoped he didn’t think I was going to fucking kneel like he’d made my family before he killed two of them, because that shit was NOT going to happen. He’d asked Dad to tell him who I was, so I didn’t feel the need to answer. Dad was looking at me like he’d wished I’d gone all the way inside, but I could also tell he was happy that Judith wasn’t with me.
“My daughter,” I wanted to scream at the quiet defeat I heard in Dad’s voice. “This is my daughter, Callie.”
“Fuck, Rick, if you’d brought her along to negotiate, you’d made it out far fucking better than you did.” Negan hadn’t taken his eyes off of me, rather off of my body, since he’d caught sight of me. “Your wife must have been fucking gorgeous.” He walked closer to me and I stood my ground. “And shit, she’s lookin’ at me like she doesn’t fuckin’ care who I am.” His dimples grew deeper as he shot me a smile that might have been charming if it wasn’t attached to a fucking psychopath. “Damn, darlin’, you gonna say ‘hello’ to your new leader?”
I raised an eyebrow and smiled just as deeply. “Sure,” I looked at my dad and said, “hello, Dad!” And gave him a little wave.
Negan gave a bark of laughter and stared up at me from his position on the bottom step. It wasn’t a far tilt of his head since I’m so goddamn short. “Fuck, you’ve got a fucking sassy ass attitude don’t ya.” I stared at him full on, refusing to be charmed or intimidated. “Shit, I swear to fuck your fucking mouth is making my dick hard.” I rolled my eyes, breaking contact first, but honestly what the hell?
“That sounds like a very personal problem.” I answered, and squinted at him. “Since, I’m guessing that bat on your shoulder is your compensation for the inadequate one in your pants, I don’t think you’ll have a problem working through it.”
Another loud laugh and I could fucking swear his eyes were twinkling at me. Shit, was this fucking foreplay for him? “Hot damn, you got a firecracker here, Rick the Dick!” He winked at me and turned back to Dad. As they walked away, I moved into the house thinking that I could last a fucking lifetime before I had to deal with that dickhead again.
The visit was terrible for so many reasons. They took our weapons. They took comforts, like mattresses and furniture. They took so much, and for what? For power? Because they could? When Carl tried to fight back, I was upstairs holding Judith. She could sense the tension in the air, I swear, and she’d become fussy. When I heard the shots, I clutched at her tighter, wondering if today would be the day that everyone died.
It wasn’t, but we weren’t safe. Luckily they’d left the food. Apparently Negan wasn’t as complementary to the other women, at least not poor Olivia. It was more than certainly better that I’d stayed inside. If I’d heard him make the obscene comments about her weight, I wouldn’t have been able to hold my tongue. Or my knife, to be fair. I hated when anyone shamed someone else for a perceived shortcoming. Fat shaming, slut shaming, any type of shaming was fucking wrong.
I heard Dad and Michonne discussing retaliation. Numbers, Dad says, are the issue. Savior numbers are far more vast than they had planned for, and he completely shoots down her idea of utilizing Hilltop. He urges her, and all of us to just learn to live the way we have to now. It’s our new reality.
A FEW DAYS LATER
I look all over for Carl, wondering where the hell the kid got to. Dad and Aaron are off trying to find supplies to satisfy their new overlord, and for once I cannot fucking believe that I’ve become Mom and lost Carl. Shit. Carrying Judith with me, I look from street to street, going all the way to the front gate and seeing nothing. I swear to fucking God, I think I am going to ring my brother’s fucking neck.
Hours pass, with Olivia visiting me and helping me keep Judith occupied. We talk about the things we miss from before, something I try really hard not to do when the rest of my family are around. It’s too painful, and it almost seems ungrateful seeing as we have all this.
“My cell phone,” I nearly moaned. “I swear, I used to threaten to throw the fucking thing in a ditch, but I’d kill to have it back, along with the people I used to text and call.” I sober at the thought.
She smiles at me. “Starbucks,” her eyes closed thinking of her daily dose of overpriced caffeine clearly. “All the complicated orders and my name misspelled on the cup.” We giggle, Judith starting to yawn.
“I’ll be right back,” I say, picking up the toddler and jogging upstairs to her room. I put her carefully in her crib and smooth her curls. “Sleep tight, baby Jude.” I whisper, kissing her forehead as she closes her eyes and drifts off.
I’m coming down the stairs when I heard voices. Thinking it’s only Carl, I call out, “I swear to fucking God, I’m going to strangle you.” As I clear the bottom step, I’m confronted with a leather-clad chest, and fuck, fuck, fuck more laughter.
“Strangle me?” Negan places his leather gloved hand over his chest as though I’d wounded him. “Fuck, I never thought I’d find a threat against my fucking life so fucking sexy.” His voice was low and I rolled my eyes again.
“Not you,” I growled, seeing my brother standing by Olivia, “him.” Carl didn’t have his bandage on and I returned my attention to the asshole blocking my path. “What the fuck did you do to him?”
Negan stepped back slightly, frowning at my tone. “Me? I didn’t do shit to him. He came at me, shot more of my men. Fuck, your people, your fucking brother can’t seem to get this shit through your fucking heads.” He was leaning forward now, regaining the intimidating image that may make someone else cower, but he clearly didn’t fucking know me.
I brushed past the overbearing asshole and pulled Carl to me. “Are you alright?” I asked, cupping his face in my hands, even if he was taller than me. “Where’s your bandage?”
“Why does he need it?” Negan’s voice demanded behind me. “He looks more badass now than he did with the fucking gun he tried to shoot me with.” I rolled my eyes and then focused on the terror in Olivia’s face. Oh for fuck’s sake.
“And her?” I asked, releasing Carl from my grasp and turning to face Negan with my hands on my hips. “What did Olivia do to make you upset her?”
He grinned, dimples trying to distract me by coming into play. “I may have teased her a little. I apologized and even offered to fuck her after she slapped me.”
I had to fight against rolling my eyes again. More time spent around him and I’d know what my own fucking brain looked like, enough to detail all the fucking wrinkles. “Do you think that’s charming- or?” I squinted up at him and watched him process what I was insinuating about his desirability.
“I’m Prince Motherfucking Charming, darlin’.” He winked at me and leaned closer. “For you? For you I’ll be anything you want.”
I lost the fight against rolling my eyes. “I suppose I should thank you for bringing my brother home. Dad isn’t here, he’s on a run to get you and your savages more supplies.” I make it sound cheery, waiting to see if he noticed that I should thank him, but I didn’t.
“Yeah, uh,” he looked toward Olivia and I could see he was confused about her name. “She told me about Rick. I think I’ll wait for him.”
I glared up at him. “Fine. There’s a porch right outside, make yourself at home there.” Southern hospitality it wasn’t, but I was trying to keep him far away from Judith.
He shook his head and started to wander through our house. I shot a look at Carl, televising that I was going to totally fucking ream him over coals for this. He had common sense to look a little bit ashamed.
“Olivia,” I said, looking at the woman that Negan had been so rude to. “Why don’t you head back?” I walked her to the door, once out of his earshot, I grinned at her. “You really fucking slapped him?” She nodded, a smile forming on her own face. “Way to fucking go, girl!” I hugged her goodbye and walked back into the living room.
Negan was taking in what was left of our luxuries. “Making yourself at home?” I asked, crossing my arms over my chest. “Don’t get too comfortable, I’m sure your minions will be around to collect you, after all you have complete power over everything. They probably can’t go potty without your approval.”
He turned to me, dimples in full bloom. “Darlin’, what the fuck did I do to you to get your panties in such a fuckin’ twist?” I noticed he’d placed the bat down, near enough for him to reach it, but down as though he really was at home. “Your dad did all this, sweetheart, not me. Why don’t you be a lamb and make a little lemonade?”
“What?” I asked, looking at him like he’d lost his fucking mind. “Before the world went to shit, did someone give you a proper diagnosis? I mean, you’re fucking insane, right? Like hard to pronounce, long latin worded, diagnostic insanity.” He was still grinning. “Does being insulted and smacked turn you on?” For fuck’s sake, what the fuck was wrong with him?
“No.” He answered, sitting on the couch and putting his feet up on the coffee table. Boots still on his fucking feet. “I’m not certifiable.” He turned his head to stare up at me. “And as for turning me on? Oh, sweetheart, that’s gonna be a LONG conversation for you and me real fuckin’ soon.” His dimples mocked me and I glared at him. “Now about that lemonade-”
“Get your fucking boots off the furniture,” I demanded, glare still firmly in place. “As for the lemonade? We’ll see.” I pointed at his feet.
He was there for HOURS. He did take his fucking boots off, then he moaned at the feel of the carpet on his bare feet. Moaned indecently, by the way, as though he thought that would somehow make me swoon. I made his fucking lemonade, only because we had the supplies for it readily available. Not because he requested it. He wasn’t my God for fuck’s sake.
Carl had disappeared upstairs, I hoped he was keeping Judith company because I didn’t want the idiot to see her. But of course, he wanted a fucking tour. And he found her nursery. He’d picked her up with more tenderness than I expected him to be capable of, glancing at me as he kissed her head and talked quietly to her.
“What?” I asked, as he alternated looks between the two of us. “Seriously, what are you doing?” I was about to reach for her and take her away from his grubby paws, but he just held her gently and actually fucking rocked her in his arms.
Another kiss on her head and he smiled at me. “You two look nothin’ alike.” I sighed, I was NOT going to explain Judith’s parentage to this idiot, no more ammo for him against my dad. “Course, you don’t look like your little brother either.”
I smirked, no I didn’t. I looked like my paternal grandmother. The auburn hair, the green eyes, my tiny stature, and from what Dad told me, my sass had come directly from her. “So?”
He shrugged and started toward the door with Judith still in his arms. “Nothing.” He answered, walking away.
He drank so much lemonade that I thought he must want to have that sour taste on his tongue for days. Then, as though holding us hostage with his presence was his only goal, he took Judith out to sit in the rocking chairs and held fucking court waving to the neighbors like he owned the fucking place.
I heard him say something that made no sense to me, but Carl understood. Then he offered a chilling thought, and I wondered if he were serious, or if this was one of his games. “Maybe I should just bury you both down there in the flower beds, then me and your hot as fuck older sister and this sweet angel in my lap could settle in the suburbs.” He chuckled and kissed Judith’s nose, staring at her sweet face asking, “What do you think about that?”