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If a few years ago someone told him his life would be like this, Lion would have accused them of playing a very unfunny joke on him. Taunting him with promises of everything he always craved - forgiveness, a partner, a family - he knew, he would have reacted violently. Not only because of how unattainable that seemed at the moment; but also because it would be the height of cruelty to tease him like that, since deep down Lion had been convinced his fate was to be miserable. As a penitence for his mistakes maybe, as well as by virtue of his own character. Funny how everything could change so unexpectedly. To borrow an overused saying, God indeed worked in mysterious ways.
It was a beautiful summer day. The white houses lining the winding streets shone under the bright sun, making the blue doors and banisters stand out even more than usual. There was a sweet aroma in the air, no doubt due to all the potted plants and the bougainvilleas creeping over pristine walls and columns. With the sea sprawling at one side of the village, and the other end dominated by the verdant forests between here and Rainbow’s base, it was a sight worthy of a postcard. And yet Lion didn’t feel completely at peace in such an idyllic environment.
The fault didn’t lay in the place itself though, but in the tense silence that had settled over him and his partner. Taking a sip from his iced coffee, Lion observed Doc, trying to discern the medic’s mood. They hadn’t shared more than a few terse words since last night’s argument, both keeping quiet for Alexis’ sake more than anything else. In truth, Lion hated this silence, its cold and dismissive presence reminded him too much of how Doc used to treat him when Lion first joined Rainbow. He would rather have them argue loudly about what bothered them; the unsaid words somehow hurt more than anything they could throw at each other.
“If you keep looking at your drink like that you’ll make it curdle,” Doc reclined on his chair, looking so at ease that it irritated Lion.
“Sinking into superstition, Gus? I thought I was the irrational one,” he hissed, annoyance morphing into something darker.
The glare he received made it very clear that Doc was biting his tongue to not lash back at him. It would be so easy to slip into another argument, the anger bubbling up to the surface always too quickly unless Lion managed to control it. He’d been getting better at that, and there was a more pressing question burning in the tip of his tongue.
“Would it be so terrible?” his ire giving way to bitterness as he continued speaking, “Is it so awful I want to be part of my son’s life?”
Doc reached out to him, grasping his hand over the table. “Olivier, it’s wonderful you want to be more involved in Alexis’ life. But what you proposed last night is huge, and perhaps this isn’t the best moment to tackle the issue.”
The contact of Doc’s hand over his own was reassuring, a small balm to soothe the hard truth. Damn him for being right. Lion couldn’t help but remember how they got to where they were right now.
It all began with a phone call.
He nearly didn’t pick up the phone; he was already in bed and nearly asleep, wrapped around Doc and enjoying the warmth radiating off of him. Besides, Lion’s mother always said late night phone calls were never good news. But perhaps he was simply justifying his laziness, and wasn’t Sloth a sin? In the end, it was Doc’s muffled and sleepy “Pick up your damn phone already” that made Lion move. With a regretful groan, he turned on the bedside lamp and grabbed his phone.
“Olivier?” It was Claire. In normal circumstances, he would simply ask her to call in the morning, but she sounded like she was crying and suddenly Lion felt his chest constrict in fear.
“Claire? Is everything alright? Is Alexis fine?” His question made Doc sit up, looking far more alert and worried than seconds ago.
“Yes. Yes, he’s fine.” Tension left his body, and Lion finally took the breath he didn’t even notice he’d been holding. Doc put his hand on Lion’s thigh, and he shook his head. They both relaxed marginally, but not completely. His worst fears might have been unfounded, yet it was clear that something was still going on. Before he could ask her what was wrong, Claire asked, “Would you mind having him with you for the whole summer?”
It was so unexpected that Lion was speechless. This was literally what he had been trying to achieve for a long time, to spend more time with Alexis, get to be his father in some way other than a couple of awkward weekends every month. However, Claire had never given him much of an opportunity for it before, and while she had good reasons for doing so, this sudden change of attitude didn’t just confuse him, it scared him as well.
“Of course, I’d love to spend the summer with him! But, you never... I mean, why now?”
By his side, Doc was keeping all his attention on Lion, and they shared a look of confusion. Claire had never barred Lion from seeing his kid, but never allowed him more than a weekend a month with him either, much to his frustration. Claire’s sudden change of heart regarding this issue, and her calling at these hours, crying, was the most puzzling thing ever.
“There’s no nice way of saying this, so… I have cancer.” The news acted like a bucket of cold water, shocking Lion into complete silence. “The chemo leaves me dead tired, I can barely keep up with Alexis while he has school, and the operation will be in July and Jean works all month, and I… I’d send Alexis with my mom, but she broke her hip recently, so I’m out of options.”
He was only a bit offended he was the last option on her list. Despite his recent efforts, Claire had no great incentives to think of him as someone reliable, and it spoke of how desperate she was if she recurred to him.
“I see. Don’t worry, I’ll be happy to take him in.”
“Good. I’ll talk to him tomorrow then. I’ll call back to tie everything up in a couple of days.”
“Okay.” The conversation had obviously run its natural course, but Lion felt it wasn’t the best way to end this. “And Claire, I’ll pray for you.”
She made a wet sound, which was halfway between a sob and a humorless chuckle. “Fat load of good that has ever done.”
A quick glance at his son revealed how Alexis had stopped playing with that Pokemon game he had to feed bits of his pastry to a pair of stray cats. Doc was still holding Lion’s hand over the table, the contact warm and comforting, and Lion realised his anger had melted away completely.
“I don’t want to go back to seeing him once a month, if I’m lucky,” Lion confessed, still looking at Alexis. “He finally called me dad the other day, did you know?”
“He is important to you.” It wasn’t a question, Doc only stated a fact. However, he threw Lion a careful glance. “All I’m saying is that getting custody is a big step. Maybe you should think about it in more detail, wait until Claire is out of the hospital before reaching any decision.”
Lion reluctantly agreed that Doc made a good point. The joy of spending time with Alexis, of having him home with Doc like the family he dreamed about mixed awkwardly with the knowledge that it was at the expense of Claire’s illness. He didn’t love her, probably never truly had in the first place, but she was still Alexis’ mother. Lion honestly prayed for her to recover completely. He only had thought once of what would happen if she were to die, and he was sickened by how his imagination ran wild with such a scenario. Lion doubled down his prayers for Claire afterwards.
“He has his friends and the rest of his family back in France,” Lion sighed. The more he calmly examined the idea, the more he could see why Doc had advised him caution instead of rushing selfishly into a poor decision. He made enough mistakes as a father already, Lion would rather not add more to the list. “I think he could spend summers here though, like he’s doing now.”
Doc smiled at him, genuine and unguarded, the wrinkles in the corner of his eyes deepening with the gesture. It made Lion’s heart swell in joy, and in that moment he knew this was the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. The revelation felt like he’d been struck by lightning. Before he could recover from that sudden moment of enlightenment, Alexis was by their side.
“Are you done with the coffee? We’ll be late, dad, hurry up!”
“I still can’t believe Harry allowed this,” Doc shook his head minutely before finishing his coffee.
Alexis was literally bouncing in excitement, and Lion didn’t feel an ounce of remorse for dragging his grumpy boyfriend into this madness. He was sure Doc would end up having fun. And if not, Lion had plans to make it up to him.
Rainbow’s base in Greece was everything that the old one at Hereford wasn’t: new and state-of-the-art, just for Rainbow’s use, and big enough to fit in their ever increasing roster of operators. It also didn’t feel like home, at least not yet. Perhaps that was one of the reasons that pushed Doc and Lion to rent an apartment in the nearby village, although they weren’t the only couple who did that.
The operators -and Harry- weren’t the only ones who moved to Greece, though. Aside from the recruits, the base required all sorts of staff as well: cooks, cleaning personnel, some administrative personnel, etc. And some of them even brought their own families. It was a boon for Alexis, since he could play with kids who were around his age, more or less.
The idea of a paintball match came to life rather fortuitously, during his last session with Harry, and those always felt more like interviews or appointments with a shrink than with his boss. They had been talking about Alexis, how he was adapting and how his presence changed their day to day lives, and Lion just made a comment about how much Alexis and his friends were fascinated by Rainbow and what they heard about the operators and their training. Somehow, it resulted in Harry proposing a paintball event for the kids. Lion still wasn’t sure how that happened, but it made Alexis happy and that was what mattered.
When they arrived at the area of the training grounds that had been specially set up for the paintball match, several kids were already waiting by the newly formed enclosure. Harry was nowhere to be seen, despite being the one who organized this, but Mira was there talking to the kids.
“There you are!” She flashed them a relieved smile. “You can handle this yourselves, right? I’d love to stay, but I left Jordan unsupervised at the lab.”
While that was a valid reason for concern, Lion would feel better with some explanation about all this stuff, even if it was a brief one. Mira just pointed at a couple of plastic crates, indicating the gear was in there and the paintball guns were inside the enclosure and impossible to miss, really. Then she was gone, walking back into the building fast enough that it could be considered jogging.
“Do paintballs hurt?” A girl asked, the eager look on her face indicating she would like the answer to be yes.
“Not with adequate protection,” Doc answered. “And that will be the first step, learning the rules and how to put on the protective vests and helmets.”
A chorus of groans followed the announcement, and Lion could barely hide an amused smile. He too would have been eager to go play and shoot things when he was twelve. He was sure even prim and proper Doc must have been rowdy back then, everyone was a bit feral around that age.
The safety lesson was over quickly, and then Doc showed them how to put on the padded vest, and the helmet and goggles, and the protective gloves too. He used Alexis as an example, and once Doc was done, the kid moved clumsily with all that new and bulky gear on him.
“You will be playing too, right dad?”
Alexis’ question caused a small stir, since it was deemed unfair that one team might get one of the adults while Doc wanted to just act as a referee. In the end, it was decided each of them would be in a team. It filled Lion with warm pride when Alexis declared he wanted to be on the same team as him, even if that meant going up against Doc, who Alexis also adored.
The playing field itself was quite basic, at least compared to what Lion was used to; just some inflatable bunkers dispersed around for cover, which was more than fine for kids playing paintball honestly. For the most part, they just let the small horde of pre-teens run and shout and shoot each other full of paint, while occasionally aiming a few careless shots at each other. It was quite a stark difference when compared to their usual training.
After a while, both teams had been reduced to a single person, and unsurprisingly, those two players were Doc and Lion themselves. The kids cheered for them loudly, egging the adults to shoot already, and the two Frenchmen leaned out of cover, looking at each other before leaping into action.
Blue paint splattered on his visor, and he had to clean before he could see anything. Then he noticed with huge satisfaction that Doc’s chest was covered in orange splotches, causing the kids to argue about which team won. While the chaos of a civilised argument between a bunch of preteens unfolded, Doc was tending to one of the kids. Despite the protective mask everyone was supposed to wear, the boy had gotten paint splashed on his face, and Doc was cleaning him, making sure there was no paint in his eyes.
Frustration was a dangerous feeling, it led people to act without thinking, and that was a lethal mistake in Lion’s field of work. Fortunately this was only a training situation, but the result was the same: Lion let frustration get the best of him, rushed ahead and got downed. Again. And he knew very well who was the culprit.
No matter what course of action he took, or which was his starting point on the training grounds, he never got far enough to get inside the building. In an apparent display of supernatural predictive abilities, Doc always killed him right at the start of each round. After sitting out on the sidelines six rounds now, Lion was at his wit’s end. He was seconds away from going into a rage, which was unacceptable. Not only would it be quite unprofessional, but Lion knew the kind of person he was when he lost control of his emotions, and he was working on smoothing over his differences with the other man, not stoking the doctor’s disdain for him.
This time Lion had a plan though. He trailed after his teammates, and while it was undignified hiding behind Sledge like a kid grasping at his mother’s skirts, he managed to get into the building this time. Gleeful that he outsmarted Doc at last, Lion found himself in an empty room, so he stopped to use his drone. The pings displayed on the little screen alerted him there was actually someone coming to his position. However, as soon as he whirled around, Doc was already there, aiming at him.
The shot somehow broke the hard plastic of his protective mask, impacting his forehead along with shards of the mask. They were of course using simulation rounds for training, and while those were safe they still hurt. Not hiding his grimace, Lion dropped to the ground, since the ‘dead’ operators had to just lie there and wait until the round was over. It brought him immeasurable satisfaction to see someone lob a grenade at Doc and put him flat on his ass. He grinned viciously, even if Doc managed to land on him somehow, knocking the wind out of his lungs.
Both operators stared at each other, faces uncomfortably close, until a trickle of blood dripping down Lion’s brow made him close his eyes. The silence was horrible, dense and awkward. They had agreed to make an effort to be civil to each other, but that was mainly to keep Montagne from looking at both of them with that sad, disappointed frown whenever they argued. It didn’t mean they were on friendly terms, or that they spent time together if Montagne wasn’t literally keeping them both in the same room. Lion’s lack of poisonous glares was an improvement, although the awkward silence grated on his nerves.
“You’re bleeding,” Doc pointed out, and Lion counted to ten instead of snapping something rude. It was hard, but nobody could accuse Lion of not trying enough.
“It’s nothing,” he replied instead, voice clipped yet still not terribly rude. “Face wounds are quite showy with how much they bleed, that’s all. As you should know.”
He felt the weight of Doc’s judging stare and endured, looking back defiantly. He literally swatted Doc’s hand away when he reached to grab his face mask, earning an annoyed sigh from the man. It was the sound he used to make whenever Lion came into the same room he was, and he realised he hadn’t missed hearing that at all.
“Don’t be childish Olivier, I just want to check there are no shards of plastic in your wound.”
Staring blindly ahead, at some point past Doc’s head, Lion bit his tongue to not point out it was him who caused the wound in the first place, and let Doc slowly remove the broken face mask. Warm hands tilted his face to the side and Lion sat still like a wooden plank. It wasn’t the first time Doc patched him up, there were no other doctors in Rainbow, and yet this felt so different from the cold and detached experiences he had in Doc’s office. They were so close, and Doc was being so gentle, poking along the edges of his cut to make sure there were no splinters there.
“Are you done?” Lion barked out, discomfited by the strange emotions this situation kindled in him. Was this what it would be like if they were friends? Closeness and warmth instead of biting words or, at best, indifference?
Doc’s hands were gone from his face now, only for Doc to take out a pack of gauze from one of his vest’s pouches. The pressure against the cut on his brow made Lion hiss. He promptly took over, his fingers brushing against Doc’s as he tried to regain some control over his emotions. The pathetic swell of gratitude he felt at this simple kindness was almost embarrassing, and it soured Lion’s mood. Doc had shown time and time again that his willingness to ‘start over’ and have a more cordial relationship only went so far, yet Lion always wanted more. That had always been his problem: he coveted more affection than what people were apparently willing to give him.
In the end, the kids went for a rematch, this time without the adult’s help, because a tie between both teams was simply unacceptable to them.
After such an eventful morning, they spent the rest of the day on the beach, just the three of them together. It felt like they were on a vacation, splashing in the water and building sand castles. Lion watched his son and Doc making a sand tower for their castle and realised they had never been more like a real family as they were now. Lion realised he was unequivocally happy, and for the second time this day, he was struck with the thought that Doc was the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He was also the man he could picture having children with...
It was an idea worth considering, but later. Right now, he wouldn’t let anything -not even his thoughts- make him miss a moment of this day with his partner and his son.
_
Time went by, in that inexorable fashion everyone wished to stop at some point yet was powerless to do so. Days piling up and turning into a week, and Lion was still puzzled by the revelation he apparently wanted to get married.
When thinking of his future, Lion never imagined himself getting married. In fact, his younger self used to grimace at the idea of ending like his parents, a lifestyle he found rigid and shallow; and although in time he learnt to appreciate the existence of rules and societal conventions more than before, after Claire and joining the military he never thought family life was something the future had in store for him. Part of Lion dreaded that he was becoming exactly like his parents, but his relationship with Doc was nothing like his parents’ marriage, thank God.
Doc and him argued often, they were one of those couples who fought with the same passion they had sex, and in a way it felt right. Healthy even. Much better than the cold distance and repressed emotions he was surrounded with while growing up. No, he hoped his and Doc’s marriage would be very different. However, Lion was getting ahead of events. He didn’t even know if Doc had ever considered getting married. If their counseling sessions with Harry taught Lion anything, it was the importance of communication. Springing such a surprise on his partner would be a terrible idea. Lion knew he wouldn’t want to be caught unaware by such a question if their situation was reversed.
He should just grab the bull by the horns and bring up the issue with Doc, put his doubts to rest instead of pondering uselessly day after day. Even if the mere idea of doing so made him break out in a cold sweat, the ever present ghost of a possible rejection looming over his shoulder and whispering into his ear that their relationship might not matter to Doc as much as it mattered to him. Perhaps he was just overthinking the whole situation… And he shouldn’t be distracted during training.
Thatcher’s booming voice made him snap out of his maudlin line of thoughts, only to realise he didn’t catch a single word of what the old man said. That was fine, in Lion’s opinion it was better to listen to Thatcher only if it was absolutely necessary, otherwise the grating sound of his voice made him want to snap at the geezer. He still felt the sting of that time Thatcher hit him; not a physical sting though, it was the itch of revenge wanting to be scratched. Talking back and needling Thatcher would do no good to anyone though, and Lion wanted to be better than his most petty instincts. Therefore, he checked his rappelling gear again instead, making sure everything was in its proper place.
“Alright, at the count of three I want everyone to swing in,” Thatcher instructed them. It was a simple rappelling and entering exercise, Lion didn’t understand that obsession of having everyone do it simultaneously. They’d done the same hundreds of times before. “One, two, three!”
Like a perfectly calibrated piece of clockwork, all the attackers slid down the top of the building and positioned themselves in front of a window, then swung in. Except Lion’s barricade didn’t break down like all the others, and instead of easily getting into the building, he crashed against the wooden planks. The impact knocked the wind out of him. Disoriented, Lion didn’t realise he was slipping down fast until it was too late. He hit the ground, and he could have sworn he felt his teeth rattle.
“ Joder , are you okay?” Jackal yelled from his window, leaning out to get a good look at Lion’s sprawled form.
Lion grunted something unintelligible and waved his hand to dismiss the Spaniard’s concern. It hadn’t even been a full two story fall; that wasn’t such a big deal, he just needed a moment. His teammates didn’t seem to agree.
“Fuck’s sake, bring him to the infirmary,” Thatcher sighed, sounding tired. If Lion could utter more than a wheeze, he’d tell him to stop acting like a sanctimonious bastard. Thatcher wasn’t the one scrambling up from the floor, so why the hell was he acting then as if this was an offense against him? “The last thing I want is Doc nagging at me again for your bruises, Flament.”
Jackal jumped out of the window and swiftly rappelled down the rest of the way, then helped Lion up and out of his harness. He said something about the locking carabiner being faulty, but his mind was still focusing on Thatcher’s words. He let Jackal guide him away, while Thatcher was yelling at the rest of the attackers to get moving and do the exercise again on a lower row of windows, “Is this a special ops team or a daycare? You need to do better next time!”
When had Doc nagged at Thatcher because of him? Lion could only think of that one time the Brit punched him. That had been ages ago, back when he was newly arrived in Rainbow, and Doc hated his guts from behind a burning silence. In truth, on that occasion Doc scolded them both, and Lion still thought Thatcher got away pretty lightly. On the other hand, Lion didn’t take Doc’s berating with grace, and they had a terrible fight that needed Montagne’s intervention to make them stop, while Twitch and Rook looked at them in worry but didn’t dare to say anything.
There had been other instances when Lion ended in the infirmary, yes, but as far as he could remember, none that involved the old man. Unless Doc had involved Thatcher when he had that sparring gone wrong with Smoke, and on second thought, Doc absolutely would do that and ask Thatcher to control his team, yeah. A romantic soul might be tempted to think Doc had worried about Lion even back then, when they barely spoke to each other unless Montagne tried to put them together in the same room. However, Lion was certain Doc would act like that with anyone who landed in his care.
Once Jackal delivered Lion to the infirmary, he ran back to training. Smart move, since that meant he wasn’t there to get pinned by Doc’s frosty glare when he saw Lion and the state he was in. If he looked enough, Lion could see the worry hastily hidden beneath the irritation. Lion still remembered how it had been not so long ago, when he didn’t know how to read Doc very well, and all he could see was the surface level irritation. God, he’d been so miserable back then, always assuming Doc was unjustly angry with him.
He needed Doc’s help to walk up to the examination area, his ankle burning in protest at every step he took. After getting an x-ray scan, Doc gave him the good news: no broken bones. His intercostal muscles were bruised and battered and would hurt for days, and he had sprained his ankle, but otherwise Lion was fine. Doc kept glancing at Lion while he wrapped an elastic bandage around his ankle, lips forming a thin line the more times he looked at him.
“What are you smiling about?” Doc eventually asked, sounding more angry than he probably was.
“You.” While it was the truth, it was an awful answer, and Lion immediately knew Doc wouldn’t take it well.
“Does it amuse you to see me work on fixing you?” There was a bite in those words, a warning, but Lion had never been good at toeing the line when it came to Doc. He didn’t answer, his smile turning sharper and wider, and he was almost sure he heard Doc mutter ‘insufferable little shit’ in a decidedly fond tone, before asking, “How did you fall anyway?”
“There was something wrong with the rappelling gear, I don’t remember what Ryad said, I wasn’t paying attention.” Lion shrugged, because there was nothing anyone could have done. Maybe keeping a better control on the equipment, but accidents could still happen.
“So you weren’t paying attention and got hurt,” Doc huffed, and Lion could hear the ‘I’m not surprised’ he didn’t say. Doc was really good at implying things by just using a certain tone of voice.
Unsure whether Doc was being serious or just kidding, Lion still went on a defensive stance. “I was distracted by how much my ribs hurt, yes. After the fall. Which was. An. Accident.”
They looked at each other, Lion trying to gauge if Doc was truly angry, but in that moment the infirmary doors opened and Alexis rushed in, running to Lion’s side.
“Hi dad!” The hug made Lion wince in pain, which the kid thankfully didn’t notice. “What are you doing here? Did you also come to help Gustave? He keeps getting distracted by people, so I’m his assistant now!” He then saw Lion’s bandaged ankle.
“I just had a small fall, don’t worry,” Lion ruffled Alexis’ hair. “Gus already fixed me up.”
“As always,” Doc sighed, and in that moment Lion decided he was more tired than angry or worried, which was understandable. As Alexis said, people were constantly coming to Doc’s office, especially when it was Spetsnaz’s turn to train the recruits. “As my assistant, I have an important task for you: make sure your father doesn’t move from here at all. His ankle needs to rest, understood?”
Alexis nodded and eagerly applied to the task of teaching him how to play one of the games on his phone while snuggling up his side. Lion wasn’t all that interested in it, but he was interested in spending time with Alexis, and it was clear the kid liked the game. And since Doc had forbidden him from moving, Lion listened to Alexis’ instructions and started the path of collecting cats.
_
Staying home to rest until his ankle got better was boring. Lion suddenly had too much free time, and he didn’t know what to do, since Doc was adamant he shouldn’t move much. He couldn’t go running and was forbidden from going into a cleaning spree; so he watched as much Netflix as he could stomach in one go, dusted off his guitar again after months without playing, and still had hours to kill. Phone games, like the cat collecting one, became his newest addiction, both an excuse to play with Alexis and a way to pass the hours.
It was no wonder his favorite moment of the day was the evenings, when Doc was home too and Lion had both his boys around. There had been a call from Claire’s husband earlier today, and despite the good news that the operation had gone well and she was in high spirits, Alexis had been quite subdued through the rest of the day. Maybe the reminder of his mother’s illness, when he had been having fun freely, made him feel guilty. Lion knew he would if he was in Alexis’ place, and since he was Lion’s son, it wasn’t far-fetched to think he could react similarly.
Letting Alexis play Lion’s guitar had been a good idea, and after teaching him a few basic notions, the kid was soon engrossed with the instrument and what he could do with it. It filled Lion with pride to see Alexis had inherited his love for music. They stopped once Doc got home, that meant they would eat soon. Lion would have liked to help him, especially since Doc had been working all day unlike him, but he banished Lion to the couch with one of his glares, saying he wouldn’t have him putting unnecessary strain on his ankle. Therefore, while Doc cooked, Alexis came in with another of his games to help pass the time.
This time, instead of the cutesy cat game -which Lion played even on his own, when there was no one around to see him do that- Alexis brought one based on spreading as an illness and exterminating humanity. Lion wasn’t sure he liked the premise of this Plague Inc, it hit a little too close to some of his field experiences. At least it could be mildly educational about the dangers of unknown pathogens, so he didn’t complain much. Until he lost.
“How did they find a cure so fast? My virus should have been undetectable at this stage!”
Alexis laughed at his outrage, which only made Lion fume harder and rant more about how making a vaccine in real life took a lot more time and effort and how unrealistic the game was. However, Alexis’ face clouded over as soon as Lion mentioned showing the game to Doc, to see if a medical professional could beat this scenario on the first try. Part of Lion wanted someone to side with him and vindicate his experience with the game, and another side of him wanted to see Doc struggle with it just for the sake of it. Maybe because he liked seeing Doc a bit frustrated, it was a strange mix of endearing, hot, and irritating.
“Dad? Are you and Gustave fighting?”
Blindsided by the question, Lion could only gape at his son as his brain scrambled to make sense of the situation. “No. Why do you think we’re fighting?” The kid shrugged, avoiding to look at Lion and instead gazing at the phone again, staring at the defeat message as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. “Alexis?”
“I heard you two talking a few days ago, you sounded angry. You both mentioned my name,” Alexis confessed. “And sometimes you look at Gustave in a weird way, like when you started coming to see me and didn’t know what to talk about.”
Lion was floored. His little boy was a lot more observant than he imagined, but with twelve years he could hardly be considered an oblivious little kid anymore. Rather than waving away his concerns with an ‘everything’s fine’, which sounded fake even when it wasn’t, Lion decided that the truth would be better. It was what he always wanted when he was living with his parents, to be treated like an adult -a person- instead of a barely tolerated nuisance.
“We’re not fighting. Not anymore.” This seemed to somewhat appease Alexis, although he didn’t look very convinced. Lion took a quick decision and asked in a conspiratorial whisper. “Do you want to know a secret?” Alexis nodded solemnly, and Lion leaned closer. “I want to propose to Gus, that’s why I have been, well...”
Worry melted off of Alexis and was replaced by a wide eyed enthusiasm. “Do you have a ring for him? Can I see it? Oh, oh! Can I come for the wedding?”
It was heartwarming to see him so happy about it, despite everything Lion still had a kernel of worry about how Alexis would take the news. Before he could answer, a loud cough behind them alerted the conspiring duo that Doc was right there.
“Dinner is ready.” Doc’s face betrayed nothing, and Lion wanted to believe he heard nothing, although he wasn’t so sure about that.
The conversation at the table circled, predictably, around Claire’s good news, since Alexis seemed to trust Doc’s opinion on his mother’s health more than the opinion of the actual doctors who treated her. He seemed happier with Doc’s assurances that it sounded like everything was going well, and after dinner they all sat down on the couch and watched a movie. However, instead of reclining comfortably against Doc, Lion lounged back and played with a loose thread on the armrest. He couldn’t stop thinking about whether Doc had heard him or not before, when Lion had been talking to Alexis. He hadn’t worried so much about what Doc knew or didn’t know about his intentions since Lion gathered the courage to ask him out for the first time.
This was an awful idea, Lion didn’t even know why he thought it wouldn’t end in disaster. From behind his desk, Doc stopped typing his report to look at him, no doubt feeling the weight of Lion’s staring, and frowned.
Lion’s palms were sweaty, and he felt like he was going to be ill. “I, uhm…”
The frown softened, and Doc’s gaze was trained on him, waiting for Lion to speak. He could drown in those warm, dark eyes, and in fact he felt out of air like he was sinking underwater. Figuring out he actually liked spending time with Doc, despite their turbulent history, had been a shock. It had taken him weeks to accept the truth, and some more weeks to realise he had a crush the size of Notre Dame.
That had been the easy part. Asking Doc out was the terrifying one. It had sounded so easy in his head, but here he was, trying to find the right words and failing miserably, courage abandoning him. Maybe he should add coward to his list of flaws, although perhaps he shouldn’t be so surprised by that, given his history with Claire.
Truth be told, he was determined to ask Doc out, but Lion didn’t trust himself enough to not put his foot in his mouth during the process. He had the tendency to say the wrong things when he was around Doc, and the last thing he wanted was to alienate the doctor again. If he wanted to have even a smidgeon of a chance, he needed to do this flawlessly.
“Yes?” Doc looked amused at his indecision.
Part of Lion couldn’t help but wonder at this development, did Doc maybe suspect the reason of Lion’s struggling? Lion prayed that wasn’t the case, and that he wouldn’t make a complete fool of himself. He took a deep breath. “Doyouwanttogoforacoffee?”
Doc blinked once, trying to parse the meaning of that torrent of words. “Excuse me?”
“I thought you could use a break,” Lion said, this time at a normal speed and volume, looking away. “There’s this coffee place nearby, it’s decent enough.”
Doc kept looking at him, his eyes sparking with too much mirth, and Lion started sweating. If he was going to get rejected he would rather be done with it quickly. However, Doc nodded, and it felt like a divine blessing washing over him. It was a small step, but Lion preferred to go slow this time. He already knew how rushing ahead recklessly into a relationship was like, and he was determined to do everything right this time. Even if Doc’s knowing smile made him feel oddly exposed.
_
Getting ready for bed together was quite a recent development. Not because they never slept in the same bed before, or because they hadn’t been living together for a while now, but because before Alexis came to stay Doc’s sleeping time was a mess.
Lion lost count of how many times he fell asleep waiting for Doc to come back from his office, or the times he tried to help Doc and they both ended falling asleep on his office’s couch when the difference between late night and early morning became a blurry line. However, since Alexis was here Doc made an effort to have some semblance of a normal schedule, something Lion didn’t realise until now how much he appreciated it. Just as he appreciated seeing Doc strip down to his boxers; he always admired his lover’s muscled arms and legs, especially when they were wrapped around Lion.
“Are you going to tell me?” Doc asked, bringing Lion back to reality from the delightfully sinful thoughts he was indulging in.
He looked at his lover, trying to recall if Doc said anything else before that question. “Tell you what?”
“About that mysterious wedding you told Alexis about. Who’s getting married?” His expression was carefully neutral, just a flash of amusement in his eyes giving away how much Doc actually knew or suspected. Shit.
“Really?” He groaned instead, sitting on the bed.
Doc sat next to him, “It’s a very simple question to answer.”
Like hell it was. If it was so easy, Lion wouldn’t be getting increasingly agitated with each passing second. However, he had wanted to bring up the issue, and this was the perfect chance, wasn’t it? He looked at Doc, dread, hope, and irritation swirling in his gut until Lion wasn’t sure of what emotion he was feeling anymore. “Us. I hoped.”
Rationally, he knew the lack of an immediate reaction only meant Doc was thinking about it in earnest, giving it all the due consideration such an important decision deserved. But what if he was thinking of a way to decline? Perhaps he didn’t feel as strongly about their relationship, living together was one thing, but marriage sounded a lot more definitive.
“Well,” Doc’s brows were furrowed in a contemplating frown and Lion felt like there was a hot stone dropping down his stomach. “That sounds lovely, but I expect the actual proposal will be more heartfelt.”
It took him a few seconds to understand what he just heard. “Is that a yes?”
“Were you expecting any other answer?” Seeing as Lion failed to respond to that, Doc grabbed his hand. “This is not a repeat of when you thought I only wanted sex from you, is it?”
“Why do you keep bringing that up?” Lion closed his eyes, embarrassed at being reminded of one of the worst arguments they had after they started dating. Doc had been furious with him when he finally discovered why Lion was so withdrawn, and with good reason. “I don’t remind you nearly so often of your reaction to that time with the rose!”
“It’s not the same,” Doc protested, ignoring the remarks about how he refused to take the flower and asked instead what was the catch. Lion had been offended for days. “Not the same, I’m telling you!”
Lion rolled his eyes, but couldn’t hide his grin. Whatever he feared it would change after he asked the question , it didn’t happen, and the relief was making him giddy. “So you want a traditional proposal then? With me going on my knees and everything?”
“I love seeing you on your knees,” Doc’s wink was downright provocative, but he sobered up almost immediately, his gaze turning softer but no less heated. “And I love you.”
He would never tire of hearing those words. Lion wasn’t sure who started it, but the kiss was reverent and passionate in a way that made his head spin. He pulled Doc into his lap, breaking the kiss for a brief moment before moving back to him and continuing the kiss. He could spend all eternity like this.
When they broke apart to breathe, Doc mumbled against his lips, “Have you chosen a ring already?”
“Not yet,” Lion admitted, kissing Doc’s stubbled jaw and feeling his growing erection through his boxers. “I’m still working on it, but now I have what I wanted the most.” He stopped for dramatic effect, smiling at Doc. “Your consent, of course.”
Doc pushed him down and sat on his thighs. “You have a way with words, mon chéri ,” His fingers were playing with Lion’s happy trail, gliding over his tattoo and going lower and lower, until they dipped beneath the waistband of his boxer. “Both for making me furious and for making me melt.”
The way he looked at him made Lion’s cock pulse. Need surged through him like a tidal wave as he watched how Doc tugged down his underwear, freeing his cock and letting it bounce against his abdomen. Lion’s eyes fell closed as Doc pressed his mouth to his hard length. It was a warm taste of what was to come, but not enough. He brought his hand to Doc’s hair, pulling gently at the soft strands to get his point across. All it got him was a hot chuckle and a teasing lick, from the tip to the balls.
“You’re killing me, mon amour ,” Lion groaned, trying to thrust up into the heat that kept eluding him.
“So dramatic,” Doc said, his breath ghosting over Lion’s achingly hard cock. He then closed his lips around the bulbous head, and Lion almost choked at how good it felt.
Head thrown back and eyes closed in pleasure, he tugged on Doc’s hair trying to get him to take his cock deeper. His wordless request went unheeded, and Doc kept sucking and licking only the tip while he used his hand to cover the rest.
Unable to stay still, Lion released Doc’s hair in favor of feeling up his legs and squeezing his ass. He manhandled Doc so he was a little closer, and pushed the briefs down, exposing that magnificent ass. His finger found Doc’s hole, circling it, and Doc let out a moan against his dick, the vibrations making Lion think he would spill right then.
That was the last straw for him, the lust clouding his mind and the need to fuck his lover overriding anything else. Lion made Doc ease up from his cock and rolled them over, glad that the bed was big enough for that. He pressed his open palms to Doc’s chest to cup his muscles, running them down reverently over his sides. Sometimes he still couldn’t understand how he got so lucky as to touch Doc so freely like this, that he was allowed to love him openly. When his hands reached the half discarded briefs, Lion yanked them away and threw them carelessly aside. For once Doc wasn’t complaining about Lion tossing pieces of clothing to the ground, maybe because Lion was finally stroking his cock.
“Are you going to ravish me then?” Doc asked, as if his cock wasn’t dripping precum already just from sucking Lion off.
There were a hundred possible answers Lion could have said, but in the end all he could say was, “You’re gorgeous.”
Lion bent down to press a kiss on the jut of his hip bone, one hand petting Doc’s thigh while the other worked over his cock. Unwilling to stop touching him even for a moment, Lion searched for the lube but it wasn’t where he thought it would be. His blind attempts at finding it only stopped when Doc retrieved it from the other nightstand, along with a condom. The smug expression on Doc’s handsome face only made Lion want to hear the man moan his name with even more fervor than before. He kept his eyes glued to Doc’s face as he slipped a slick finger all the way inside him.
Lion didn’t waste any time teasing him. Instead, he immediately started thrusting in and out, circling around to find his prostate. He knew he found it when Doc’s back arched, a moan spilling from his lips. Thumb swiping over the head and slit, Lion’s hold on his cock got tighter, while adding a second digit, opening him with practiced ease. He loved this, seeing Doc so relaxed and pliant under him, eyes fluttering closed in bliss.
He spent what felt like a glorious eternity fingering Doc, watching his thighs tremble every time Lion’s fingers brushed the right spot inside him. A few beads of sweat formed on his chest and Lion licked them, the salty taste still on his tongue when he moved his lips over a peaked nipple. Doc’s hands found their way to Lion’s shoulders, unsure whether to push him away or hold him in place.
“Oli… I want to come on your cock,” Doc managed to say, and Lion moaned just from hearing him. He was so worked up already that he feared he wouldn’t last long, much less when he finally sunk in that familiar heat.
Putting on the condom and slicking his dick took but a moment, and then he was pushing into Doc, slow and careful. Lion went for a kiss, trying to distract himself from the way his cock throbbed as Doc adapted to his girth. He could feel Doc everywhere, completely surrounding him, and Lion lost his mind. Thankfully, Doc was more than ready to meet his fast and deep thrusts. They moved together, falling into a passionate rhythm, accompanied by equally frantic kisses that missed their mark more often than not. Lion didn’t care, he would gladly kiss every inch of Doc’s face.
It was always like this when they were face to face, Doc’s legs curled around his waist and urging him to keep going, both losing themselves into the pleasure until Lion wasn’t sure where he ended and Doc began. He could feel a hand moving between their bodies, Doc touching himself as Lion fucked him, and he could barely look away, entranced by the way his hand stilled and the tendons in his arm tensed when Lion drove even deeper into him.
Lion felt him coming before he saw it, everything got tighter and hotter, then Doc sprayed his release onto their stomachs like a fountain and Lion was coming right after him, biting his lips to not roar in pleasure as he usually did. The world went white for a moment, and the next thing he knew Doc’s arms were around him, their uneven panting filling the room. They stayed like that longer than Doc usually tolerated, neither making a move to push the other away or asking for a shower yet. Lion was sure he’d never felt more peaceful and happy, petting Doc’s sweat damp hair away from his temples. Heaven should be moments like this, he reflected, contentment filling your heart so completely there wasn’t room for anything else, no doubts, no regrets, no second thoughts.
Later, when the only light was the stars outside and the only sound were Doc’s snores, his body curled around Lion’s, he resisted the pull of sleep. Lion lay in bed, not turning around in worry but daydreaming about wedding rings and what the future could hold for him. For them.
It seemed too good to be true: Doc saying yes, Alexis wanting to be part of their lives, Claire’s recovery… If a few years ago someone told him his life would be like this, Lion wouldn’t have believed them. However, he was infinitely grateful for how everything turned out. He realised he finally had in his grasp what he always yearned for: a family who would accept him as he was.