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“Are you going to say something before we’re rescued, or should I just talk to the wall instead?”
Jimin shot a glance in Jeongguk’s direction, but the cherry-haired man had not moved an inch. He was scrolling on his phone, buried into the couch in an almost fetal position. Jimin was starting to get infuriated - Jeongguk had been ignoring him for hours on end. They hated each other, granted, but the situation called for exceptional measures.
“Can you at least tell Namjoon that we’re okay?”
Jeongguk raised his chin and turned it towards the table, where Jimin had left his phone. I will murder you in your sleep, Jeongguk.
“Thanks, I already contacted them. They want to know if you are still alive, so can you send something?”
Jeongguk sighed and typed on his phone, which only made Jimin’s anger grow twice as devastating. Why is he so damn annoying? Not a single word to me?
Jimin and Jeongguk’s last three years of life had consisted in displaying all the animosity they could towards each other. They both got along extremely well with their friends Namjoon, Yoongi, Hoseok, Taehyung and Seokjin, but together? A mess. They could usually ignore their constant beef when they were all gathered somewhere, but as soon as the group reduced in size, they always ended up fighting.
When Namjoon had organised the rent of a cabin in the mountains to ski and have fun in the snow, they had adored the idea and prepared for the most amazing week of the year. This was what they had believed though, until an avalanche separated Jimin and Jeongguk from the others who had gone shopping without them. The avalanche had destroyed a good part of the town nearby too, so help was expected at the cabin in three days, not before. Jimin could not imagine a worse way to spend his holidays.
He was not sure he could remember why he had hated Jeongguk from the start, but he knew he didn’t like the way he always seemed not to give him the time of the day. Jimin didn’t need attention to survive, but this was such a lack of acknowledgement of his entire existence that it was terribly awkward. In return, Jimin was pretty sure he had never talked politely to Jeongguk in his life, always aggressive and bitter with him. Why couldn’t they get along? The answer was starting to be obvious, as Jeongguk was lost in his phone a few meters away from him, oblivious to the world.
“I’m going to make some pancakes with what they left us,” Jimin suddenly said, getting up to reach the kitchen. “You will be allowed to eat if you look at me at least once. I’m waiting.”
Jeongguk’s eyes moved in his direction and pierced through his skull, then he went back to his phone. Asshole. Jimin wanted to snatch it from his hands and throw it outside - but it was impossible, the entire house was surrounded by snow. He tried to see the sun through the kitchen window and sighed. Everything was white, the snow only visible thanks to the lamps inside the cabin.
As Jimin grabbed a large recipient to start making the pancakes, he was seething with anger. He was remembering the ridiculous things he had gone through to try to get Jeongguk’s attention, at least to become his friend, even if his first impression had been dreadful - the second and third too, if he had to be honest. Things just didn’t click between them.
Jimin whipped the mix in the recipient and sighed. He had once blocked Jeongguk on Twitter, unblocked him, followed him, then said it was a mistake, that his brother had done all of this apart from blocking him. Jeongguk had shown no reaction whatsoever. Jimin had wanted him to get angry, to tell him that this excuse sounded fake, to ask him why he had blocked him after following him in silence for a year, but nothing . Jimin couldn’t get any reaction from him, ever.
And it was particularly infuriating because Jeongguk was usually cheerful and fascinating when he talked to their friends. He seemed to be a very interesting person, sharing many hobbies with Jimin, even, but he somehow never opened up to him. Jimin had given up and settled for an uncomfortable silence that had lingered for years, sometimes punctuated by dry insults and negative short conversations.
Jimin shook his head, turned on the stove and grabbed a pan. He poured oil in the pan and winced. The oil had a very strong scent, which was okay for pancakes but would stick to his clothes in no time. He opened the window to get some fresh air, thoughts clouded by the unbearable Jeongguk, always Jeongguk , and the rest was a blur.
Jimin was suddenly cold and almost knocked out, falling to the ground with a scream. He couldn’t move an inch, frozen to the core. He gasped again and tried to yell, but this time he couldn’t find any air left in his lungs. After a few seconds that seemed to last a lifetime, a pair of hands dug through the thick snow covering him. He watched Jeongguk release him from his cold prison as if it were happening to someone else. It felt distant, unreal.
“Jimin?” Jeongguk asked, cupping his pale cheeks.
Jimin closed his eyes. He was surprised to see how fast he had lost his strength in the cold, how his voice and breath had been taken away from him. It was horrifying. He was trembling, from the aftershock as much as the very low temperature. Jeongguk’s hands on his face felt like two burning irons, even colder than the snow.
“Can you hear me?” Jeongguk insisted, but Jimin still couldn’t answer, dizzy.
Jeongguk let go of his face and he heard him turn the stove off. I must have lost my mind, Something in him refused to believe that Jeongguk could be that thoughtful.
“I can’t close the window, the snow is too thick,” Jeongguk sighed, maybe aware that Jimin could hear him. “But it’s not falling inside anymore, at least. We’ll manage.”
Jimin was not sure he had heard so many sentences in a row from Jeongguk in the three years they had known each other. Sure, he talked to their friends, but Jimin was only allowed a few words a week. Anger was bubbling in his chest as Jeongguk lifted him from the ground, gasping and mumbling something about his hands that Jimin couldn’t decipher. He let Jeongguk sit him on a chair in the bathroom and waited, eyes closed, feeling exhausted and freezing cold. His clothes were drenched with water, it was almost unbearable.
Suddenly, he felt something warm on his face and shivered. Jeongguk was applying a washcloth all over his skin, on his cheeks, hair, hands, ankles, everything he could reach. Jimin finally opened his eyes when his eyelids felt normal enough to do his painlessly. Jeongguk’s cherry hair were on his face as he scrubbed his fingers one by one with the washcloth, infinitely careful. Jimin felt torn open watching him take care of him life this. It was awkward. It was exactly what he had always wanted, so this had to be a trap, somehow. He hated it.
“Stop,” Jimin managed to say, and Jeongguk froze.
“Are you okay?” he asked, applying the washcloth to his chin, just below his lower lip.
“I’m cold.”
“What do you need? Do you want more hot water?”
Jimin needed to get undressed and shower as soon as possible, but he couldn’t dream of saying that in front of Jeongguk. He had to divert his attention.
“Your hands?” he asked, looking at Jeongguk’s very red fingers.
“Oh, yeah… I think my hands froze a little when I dug into the snow, but it’s okay.”
“Why?”
“Well, it’s obvious, no? I couldn’t let you in the snow, Jimin.”
Yeah, of course. Jimin felt angrier. He wanted to be done with it all and wait for the rescue in peace. This whole situation was embarrassing and painful. Jeongguk was not supposed to be nice to him, not even for the bare minimum of saving his life - that’s what he wanted to believe, though, because it was comfortable . It was safe . He didn’t have to change anything to his behaviour, if Jeongguk didn’t care about him. He didn’t have to face his darkest thoughts, the things he wanted to do but tried to forget every single day, every time he saw Jeongguk. Fuck, not the moment.
“Do you need something?” Jeongguk repeated, his pouty lips infuriatingly close. “I don’t want you to use a hairdryer, you’re too wet. It would be dangerous.”
“You would like that,” Jimin said bitterly. “If I fried.”
“No, really not. Why are you saying that?”
Jimin knew his brains were not functioning normally. He was too angry for his own good.
“You’re never nice to me,” Jimin muttered.
“You’re never nice to me either. I’m trying to leave you alone.”
“I don’t want that. You’re an asshole.”
Jeongguk seemed to recoil a little at the insult, and Jimin felt bad.
“Sorry,” he immediately said. “I didn’t even mean it.”
“It’s whatever,” Jeongguk sighed. “Do you need me for anything, or can I go back to the kitchen? I want to try to close the window.”
“Undress me so I can shower, I can’t move.”
It was the truth, but he had blurted it out the wrong way. He couldn’t move, true, but it wasn’t supposed to be an order. He had to fix it before Jeongguk got scared.
“Or not. I can wait, it’s getting better anyway. I will take my shower by myself. Go, I was rude, forget it.”
Jimin started fighting with his jumper, his forearms too stiff to move properly. He saw how Jeongguk was looking at him, doe eyes filled with uncertainty.
“I’m not guilt-tripping you,” Jimin pointed out. “Really, it’s fine. And thank you for helping me, I didn’t even thank you properly.”
Jeongguk nodded, but he didn’t move an inch. He watched Jimin struggle with his jumper again for a whole minute, then helped him without a word. Jimin shook his head when the jumper was tossed on the floor.
“Don’t feel like you have to do it, I told you-”
“I want to, Jimin.”
Jeongguk helped him out of his shirt, leaving him half naked, and Jimin felt terribly self-conscious. Maybe he didn’t have to, though, because Jeongguk didn’t seem able to tear his gaze away from his chest. Jimin wanted to tease him, ask him if he liked what he was seeing, but he was choking on his own breath. Was it even possible? But, one second before he opened his mouth to say something provocative, Jeongguk looked away and opened Jimin’s shoes to remove them next. Jimin’s toes were freezing cold as Jeongguk got rid of his socks, and he hissed in pain.
Without a word, Jeongguk caged his feet between his hands and rubbed them, trying to warm them up. Jimin was usually ticklish, but he couldn’t feel anything on his cold skin. He watched Jeongguk trying to wake his toes up and found himself tearing up. Shit, no, stop that. Fortunately, he stopped silently sobbing before Jeongguk lifted his chin again to look at him.
“Can I…?”
Jimin averted his eyes, and he was grateful to be too cold for his cheeks to blush. He nodded, but he had no idea why he was agreeing to this. He was confused. Jeongguk’s nose wasn’t too far from his crotch, at this point, and his mind was going wild.
He could imagine it. He could picture Jeongguk tracing his abs with the tip of his fingers and listening to his shivers - he would shiver, right? Jimin felt like he barely knew him, after all this time. He wanted to touch him. Fuck, he wanted to be touched too, anything. Why was it all crashing down on him so suddenly? He had diluted these feelings as much as possible for years, but the bowl was full. Full.
“I unblocked you myself,” Jimin suddenly blurted out.
“What?” Jeongguk said, looking at him with round eyes.
“Two years ago. I blocked you on Twitter, but you didn’t notice, so I unblocked you, I followed you, I unfollowed you, I told you it was my brother-”
“Woah, woah, Jimin, are you okay? Why are you mentioning this?”
“Do you remember? Do you remember that?”
“Yes, but- Why now? Did you fall on your head? Do you feel dizzy?”
“Shut up! You’re always so… so damn annoying , Jeongguk! Listen to me! We haven’t talked in three years -”
Jimin knew he was freaking out, he was aware that his behaviour was totally uncalled for, but fuck it was long overdue. Once he had started talking, he couldn’t stop.
“Did you even notice I blocked you, the first time?”
“Yes,” Jeongguk breathed out. “Yes, I noticed.”
“What did you think?”
“I was sad! Are you happy? I was sad when I saw I couldn’t see your tweets anymore!”
“Why didn’t you tell me, then?”
“You never talked to me! I felt silly!”
Jeongguk angrily removed Jimin’s trousers, and Jimin shivered on his chair. He felt exposed, even if Jeongguk was the one talking about his past feelings. He was almost naked in front of him, only his underwear standing between his hardening length and Jeongguk’s hand. All of a sudden, Jeongguk grabbed him by the armpits and lifted him off the chair, putting him in the shower as if he weighed nothing.
Without knowing what was possessing him, Jimin grabbed him by the shirt and forced him inside the shower, their faces millimeters apart.
“I don’t understand you,” Jimin sneered, his grip tightening on the shirt. “I don’t understand the way you react to anything. ”
Jeongguk pushed him against the cold hard wall of the shower and shook his head.
“Why do you hate me so much?”
Jimin frowned. It was starting to unfold, finally. They hated each other because they hated each other. They didn’t communicate because they didn’t communicate. At the start of it all, there was a miscomprehension that had lasted way too long. Jimin didn’t know how to fix it - but maybe it was time to acknowledge the scary feelings he was desperately trying to hide.
“I think-”
He licked his lips, not even pretending to look anywhere but at Jeongguk’s mouth anymore.
“I’ve always wanted you. From day one.”
Jimin didn’t have time to be mortified about his confession, as Jeongguk turned the water on and warm droplets fell onto his cold back. It felt amazing, but he was too distraught to care. Jeongguk was starting to get wet too, still fully clothed.
“You should get out,” Jimin muttered.
“I don’t want to,” Jeongguk replied, staring at Jimin’s lips.
“What do you want?”
Jeongguk’s shaky hands trailed down Jimin’s hips and settled around his thighs, very shyly, but still way bolder than anything Jeongguk had ever done to him. His doe eyes were still fixated on Jimin’s lips.
“I- I think we have always wanted the same thing, but… none of us… we were stupid-”
And, just like that, Jimin snapped. He kissed Jeongguk forcefully, earning a surprised gasp, then a long moan. It was over. He couldn’t refrain himself from doing everything he had suppressed at the back of his brain. His body was burning up after being so cold, and his muscles ached as he tried to undress Jeongguk. He wondered if he was going too far, too fast, until Jeongguk got rid of his clothes himself and hooked a finger under the hem of Jimin’s underwear. His cherry hair was wet. Jimin wanted nothing more but to tug on it.
Jimin crashed his lips against Jeongguk’s again, more hungrily this time, biting on his bottom lip. Jeongguk was whimpering against him, trying to undress them both until they were naked in front of each other. Jimin was panting, almost unable to breathe properly after kissing so much. It wasn’t just the kissing, if he had to be honest with himself - it was the relief , the sheer happiness of finally getting to feel Jeongguk so close, pliant in his arms, and that his feelings were reciprocated.
“Jeongguk,” he breathed out against his neck, “I want you to fuck me, will you fuck me?”
Jeongguk’s hands wandered down his back and stopped on his ass, groping him harshly. Their lengths brushed and Jimin’s breath hitched. A shiver ran down Jimin’s spine and he tightened his grip around his waist.
“Always,” Jeongguk murmured, “I’ve always wanted- I couldn’t ask-”
“Shut up, shut up, sit down-”
Jeongguk obediently sat in the shower and Jimin followed, finally feeling the comforting warmth from the shower. He sat on Jeongguk’s lap and kissed him soundly, tugging on his hair, tasting his lips with his tongue. Jeongguk was breathing heavily and pressing Jimin’s body against his chest, until Jimin was so aroused that he couldn’t stop rolling his hips against Jeongguk’s crotch. Jeongguk moaned and closed his eyes, his head falling back, biting his bottom lip with a smile. Jimin took the opportunity to kiss his neck and he felt Jeongguk shiver under his touch. Fuck.
“I knew your brother didn’t unblock my account,” Jeongguk suddenly said.
“Why are you bringing that up now ?” Jimin growled against Jeongguk’s neck.
“I just thought- I should have talked to you earlier, but you were bloody annoying, so I never did. I wanted to be your boyfriend, but you were an ass with me. I thought I could make you angry enough to provoke a reaction, but-”
“You’re not getting any if you keep being annoying,” Jimin whispered, trembling at the confession.
Boyfriend. Fuck, he wanted that. He wanted to be that person for Jeongguk, he wanted to take care of him too, to start over. Jeongguk sneaked a hand between their thighs and hesitantly wrapped his fingers around Jimin’s length.
“Oh f-fuck Jeongguk, don’t stop-”
Jimin panted, his hips rolling by themselves to seek friction from Jeongguk’s hand, moaning against his shoulder.
“Shit, please- prep me, I’m ready,” he breathed out, already feeling heat pool in his lower belly.
“I- uhm.”
Jeongguk’s hand traveled towards Jimin’s ass, and his movements were so hesitant that Jimin knew there was something wrong. He looked at Jeongguk, and he seemed devastated. His heart sank.
“Jeongguk? We can stop, if you don’t want to do it. Please, tell me what’s wrong…”
“I’ve never done it, I- I don’t really know how to do it, I’m sorry-”
“Oh.”
Jimin cupped his cheeks and kissed him softly. Jeongguk looked surprised, and Jimin hated how rude they had been to each other for three years. Jimin took his hands and made him stand up on wobbly legs. He turned the water off.
“Let’s get you to bed. You’re not having your first time in a shower , Jeongguk.”
“But-”
“No buts.”
Jeongguk opened his mouth and Jimin kissed him to shut him up. They dried themselves off as well as possible with a towel and ran through the cabin towards Jimin’s bedroom, shivering as they felt the chilly air coming from the kitchen window.
“Why did you open the damn window, anyway?” Jeongguk asked as they fell on the bed.
Jimin growled and grabbed a bottle of lube from his bedside table, settling his thighs on each side of Jeongguk’s waist.
“Shhh. I was thinking of our fights, actually. Even when you’re not saying anything, you’re making my life impossible.”
“I wasted a lot of time wondering what I had done to you too, you know.”
“Well, you called me a dumbass in front of everyone when I failed an apple pie. You’re an ass too, Jeongguk.”
“It was disgusting, please be honest five minutes.”
“I had baked it for you after seeing on your Twitter that you had bought one from the store, once.”
Jeongguk caressed Jimin’s thighs tenderly. It was his way to apologise silently for not seeing that it had been a present - albeit a failed one. Jimin smiled sheepishly, opening the bottle of lube.
“How long will it take to forgive each other? For everything?”
“Five minutes,” Jeongguk breathed out. “You’re making my dreams come true, right now.”
“Getting laid?”
“No, you . You have been my dream for the last three years.”
Jimin started prepping himself with one hand and caressed Jeongguk’s chest with the other.
“I will make this good for you, Jeongguk, I promise.”
“Did you also want me…?” Jeongguk asked shyly.
“Always, all the time. I wanted to ride you until you can’t even think anymore. I also wanted to go out in the park and eat some sandwiches in front of the lake.”
“F-fuck, same.”
“Are you hornier for the sandwiches?”
Jeongguk chuckled and bit his lip. He looked adorable, with his cherry hair and rosy cheeks. Jimin giggled too, surprised that they were actually getting along. They had lost so much time bantering when they were a good match from the start…
Jimin pushed a second finger past his rim and exhaled loudly, more and more aroused by the sight of Jeongguk staring at him with hungry eyes.
“Okay,” Jimin breathed out after a while. “I’m ready, are you still okay?”
Jeongguk nodded eagerly and settled his hands on Jimin’s waist, already hard. Jimin was overwhelmed by three years of fights, the only thing that came to his mind when he looked at Jeongguk’s face. They would have to replace all the bad memories with new ones, until they would eventually forget that they had once been worst enemies. Jeongguk guided Jimin’s hips above his cock and watched him expectantly. Jimin took his length slowly, sinking until he sat on Jeongguk’s lap with a long sigh. The stretch was just right, exactly how he had imagined his first time with Jeongguk.The usual next step after such thoughts had always been to slap himself and be mean to him instead, but not this time.
“Remember when I went to the video game store without telling you?” Jimin asked, rolling his hips around Jeongguk’s cock, feeling him so deep he was almost dizzy.
“Yeah, I guess?” Jeongguk murmured, raising an eyebrow.
“I had dreamt you were fucking me senseless, that night. I punished you for it. I wanted to see you sad because I thought I would never get you. That’s fucked up.”
Jeongguk whimpered and tightened his grip on Jimin’s waist.
“I told Namjoon to buy you mango juice even though you hate mangoes,” Jeongguk revealed, “remember that?”
“Yeah. Gross. I knew you remembered I hated it.”
“I had touched myself three times in the bathroom, already. It was still not enough, because I was forbidding myself to think of you when I did it. I thought you deserved a punishment.”
Jimin breathed out shakily, riding Jeongguk’s cock with all the strength he had. Jeongguk moaned and threw his head back, his thighs shivering from the overwhelming emotions he was experiencing for the first time.
“We’re both stupid,” Jimin panted, lifting his hips and letting them fall forcefully on Jeongguk’s cock. “Fuck, feels so good, do you like that?”
Jeongguk was sweating and breathing heavily, eyes bright with unshed tears. He nodded hastily and swallowed hard, visibly fighting with something he didn’t dare to say.
“Tell me,” Jimin whispered.
“It’s just... ,” Jeongguk hesitated. “When you were mean to me… every time… I found it kinda hot?”
Jimin’s eyes widened. He was not expecting that at all .
“Uh? You like when I insult you?”
“Yeah, but- only… only when I’m horny, not if you really mean it-”
“I get it. Do you think you can fuck me better, though? I’m starting to get a little bored, up here.”
Most likely the biggest lie of his life - being on top of Jeongguk was unbearably arousing - but Jimin swore he could have felt Jeongguk’s cock twitch inside him. He looked fucked out, almost out of it.
“Get those pretty hips to work,” Jimin ordered. “If you’re lazy, I’m out.”
Jeongguk pounded into him, contracting his abs and closing his eyes to focus on the effort. Jimin didn’t expect him to last more than five thrusts, infinitely impressed of his strength. The sensation was amazing, Jeongguk’s cock brushed on his prostate and Jimin felt a jolt of pleasure tear through him. He caressed Jeongguk’s belly with the palm of his hand when he noticed he was crying.
“Good job, Jeongguk, you can stop. Are you close?”
Jeongguk sobbed and nodded, hiding his face behind his hands. Jimin grabbed his wrists to put them away, his hips starting to follow an erratic pace.
“I want to see you. Pretty, so pretty…”
Jeongguk smiled through his tears and Jimin saw his abs contract more and more as he felt his own orgasm build forcefully in his belly. Jimin let out a long moan.
“Do you think you deserve to come, Jeongguk?”
“Y-yes-”
“Ask for it nicely and touch me, then.”
Jeongguk wrapped his hand around Jimin’s cock and stroked a few times, whimpering, trying to control his own orgasm, but it was useless. They were both incredibly close.
“Jimin, please-” he begged, sobbing harder. “I’m so close!”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes! Yes! ” Jeongguk shouted, his hold tightening dangerously on Jimin’s cock. “Fuck, Jimin, f-”
Jeongguk came with a long moan, his whole body tensing up at once. Jimin felt Jeongguk’s cock twitch a few times inside him as he went through a brutal orgasm, his nails digging into Jimin’s thighs until his body went limp. Jimin smiled, ready to finishing himself off, but Jeongguk suddenly seemed to come back to life to stroke his cock again. He looked absolutely wrecked but determined to please.
“Did I do good?” Jeongguk asked shyly, sweat dripping down his forehead.
“A-amazing,” Jimin panted, his orgasm so close he could taste it.
“Really?”
“Rea- oh fuck, just like that, don’t st-”
Jimin bit his lip as he came on Jeongguk’s chest, hips stuttering until they both felt overstimulated. Jeongguk pulled out with a wince and they hid under the covers, feeling gross but sated. Jeongguk hid his face in the crook of Jimin’s neck, and it made him suddenly emotional.
“We should dance together,” Jimin whispered, caressing his back. “Sing together, play video games together.”
“I hated forcing myself not to go to karaoke with you,” Jeongguk sighed.
“We would sound awesome together.”
They stayed silent for a while, still astonished that a petty fight about making pancakes had led to this . Then, Jeongguk cleared his throat.
“I should teach you how to bake apple pies, though.”
“I fucking hate you.”