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Daniel.
Of course it would be Daniel.
Jack quickly took in the scene, his training taking over from gut reaction.
What he wanted to do was to run to the young archaeologist, take him in his arms and get him the hell out of here as soon as possible.
What he did do was make a snap assessment; a pathway in a dense forest, two terrified looking aliens, Carter, white as a sheet, but on her feet, Teal’c running in from his right in response to the situation, and Daniel, writhing, shouting but incoherent with pain, clutching his left hand which looked normal except for the purple welts on the back of it.
“Situation?” Jack barked at Carter, who had been the last person he had seen with Daniel.
“Some sort of toxin, sir. Daniel brushed past it, his reaction was immediate.”
“Where?”
Carter indicated some innocuous looking web-like filaments to the side of the trail beside the stricken young man. Jack turned to the two silent, pallid aliens, who were obviously petrified.
“Fatal?” he gritted quietly, forcing himself to listen to their response when Daniel’s moans and thrashing limbs from behind him were all he was registering.
“Often fatal, not always. We will fetch the healer now,” they replied gravely in their gentle lilting tone, which had had Daniel in raptures, but was pissing Jack off immensely now.
Glad to be doing something, and even more glad to be away from the glare of the terrible Colonel, the two short men turned on their heels and ran back in the direction of the town.
“Teal’c, go with them,” Jack barked, turning back to Daniel, finally able to give him his attention. Thinking hard, Jack knelt beside the younger man, whose convulsions seemed to be lessening already. He quickly rolled the archaeologist onto his side, checked his airway and carefully avoided touching the blistered skin of his hand. “Carter, med kit.”
His efficient 2IC already had it waiting and handed it over in silence.
“Right, get back to the gate,” he said tersely, ripping open the kit. “I want an off-world medical team here. Yesterday.”
Jack watched Carter’s eyes alight briefly on Daniel’s face, taking one final glance at her friend...just in case, before she turned and ran back into the forest, the noise of her passage audible for only a minute.
“Okay, buddy, it's just you and me now. Want to tell me what’s going on?” Jack asked briskly, not expecting a response. He found the pre-packed Epinephrine shot and stabbed it through Daniel’s fatigues into his thigh, trying not to lose hope when the puncture didn’t even cause a flinch from his young friend. Biting the top from a bottle of sterile water, Jack liberally doused the wounds, noting how much darker they were than only a moment ago.
Jack bent down beside the prone man, putting his face beside Daniel’s in the leaf mould. Checking Daniel’s breathing, which was shallow and fast, Jack noted the pallor of his skin and the blue tinge around his lips. He knew the young man was going into shock and he scrabbled in his pack for a thermal blanket, which he tucked around Daniel’s body.
Jack sat back on his heels and took in the surroundings; the sky was already darkening towards nightfall, the dappled light becoming weaker with each passing moment, and the chill under the canopy was growing. Daniel looked so pale and still in the gloom, like Jack was already too late to save him.
Forcing down a wave of fear, Jack calculated the time it would take Carter to reach the gate and for an emergency team to gear up and get back here. Then, with less enthusiasm, he worked out how far to the town and the healer.
Neither option appealed to Jack.
“Ah, crap, Daniel. Why is it always you?” Jack groaned and ignoring medical protocol, he stood and stepped over the younger man and unclipped his pack. Grunting at the weight, Jack grabbed Daniel under the arms and dragged him to the base of a nearby tree, where he slumped down, with the unconscious man held protectively, his back against Jack’s chest. Jack tipped Daniel’s head back and cradled it against his shoulder and covered them both with the silver blanket.
If Daniel was going to die, then Jack was damned well going to be there to hold him.
He knew he should have left Carter, their field medical specialist with Daniel and run for the gate himself, but Jack had a pretty good grasp of first aid and probably more actual experience of mission injuries than Carter. And Daniel had looked so...bad... so bad. Jack had cracked and gone with his gut instinct. And that was to hold Daniel, come-what-may.
“Okay, Danny-boy, I’m gonna need you to wake up now. I’ve done all the things I was supposed to do, so now you need to do your bit and open your eyes.” Jack held the injured hand across Daniel’s chest, supporting it without touching it. With his free hand Jack rubbed soothing circles on Daniel’s stomach.
“C’mon, Daniel, this dying thing is getting really old now. I don’t know if this poor old bastard holding you up can take another hit like that.” Jack closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the rough bark, willing his warmth into Daniel, who was beginning to shiver, and silently urging the rest of his team to run faster.
Jack had seen men die of shock before and he knew how this went.
“So, if you could see your way clear to waking the hell up and sparing me the agony I’d be grateful. C’mon, Daniel, don’t leave me, buddy.” To Jack’s surprise and delight, Daniel stirred slightly in his arms. Jack quickly checked his watch, he knew it was too early for anyone to be returning yet, but Fraiser might ask what time he had regained consciousness.
“Daniel?”
“J’ck? Hurts. God it hurts, Jack. Stop it,” Daniel mumbled, as he started to roll his head restlessly against Jack’s shoulder.
“Yeah, buddy, I know. Doc’s on her way. You just have to hold on for a bit longer.” Jack was pleased to note that Daniel paused for his response, as if he was aware of him, then the younger man began to thrash weakly in his arms, trying to drag his hand from Jack’s grasp.
“Sorry, Daniel, gotta hold your hand for a while longer. Indulge me,” Jack told him and tightened his arms around the sick man to prevent him from hurting himself further.
“Jack, help me, please.” Daniel fisted his stomach with his free hand, pushing away Jack’s attempts to soothe him. “It hurts so badly. Please, Jack, PLEASE!”
Jack closed his eyes. He knew Daniel to be stoic to the point of fanaticism, so to hear him pleading so piteously was something new to the Colonel. He fervently wished never to have to hear it again. And the fact that Daniel’s stomach hurt was a bad thing, he remembered that much.
“C’mon, Daniel. Concentrate on something else.” Jack cast around for something to engage his young friend’s interest. Suddenly remembering a trick he had learned when the beatings and hopelessness had threatened to overwhelm him in Iraq, Jack blurted, “Happy place! Daniel, think of a place that makes you happy…good memories.”
“Can’t, Jack. God, I can’t stand it.”
“Please, Daniel, try for me. Somewhere you feel safe and content.” Jack could feel tears of helplessness threatening as Daniel shook in his arms.
“Try,” Daniel forced out between pants.
“Right, you have to think about it really hard. Think about every detail, no matter how trivial.” Jack recalled how hard he used to concentrate on the smell of Charlie’s soft baby hair, how he built up an image of taking his young son walking in the park. How he remembered his eyes would sparkle in the sunshine and how he’d smile and gurgle when he saw the ducks. Sometimes Jack would spend hours just imagining the feel of Charlie’s tiny warm hand in his. It had helped. Jack believed those images had got him out of there alive.
“Daniel?” Jack craned his neck to see the young man’s face. Daniel grunted in response. “Daniel, you need to stay with me,” Jack said urgently, squeezing the heavy, solid body in front of him.
“Jack?” Daniel queried, sounding confused again.
“Yep, we’re thinking of your happy place, remember, Danny-boy?”
“Happy place, right,” Daniel slurred. He stiffened, then turned his head into Jack’s neck as fresh spasms wracked him and he screamed through gritted teeth.
As he held Daniel, tightly, all the while crooning reassurances at him, Jack imagined that the forest held its breath along with him. Daniel’s vocal expressions of pain had birds flapping, startled from the canopy above them.
It seemed like hours before Daniel relaxed again into his embrace, his frame shuddering as if he was crying against Jack’s chest. “So, tell me about it, Daniel. What’s an archaeologist’s happy place? Are you concentrating?” he asked urgently, before Daniel could slide away again.
For a moment, Jack thought the young man had lost consciousness, but with an effort Jack could feel through his shoulders, Daniel finally nodded, raggedly.
Jack imagined Daniel’s most comforting memories would involve sand, either with Sha’uri on Abydos or with his parents in Egypt.
“So, is it hot?” Jack prompted.
“It’s warm, but we’ve just been swimming,” Daniel told him in a weak voice.
Not Sha’uri then. Jack doubted many of the people of Abydos could swim on their challenging planet’s terrain. He’d seen the wells the natives had dug by hand to tap the aquifers. Water was a precious resource there, not a recreational opportunity.
“Swimming, eh? In the river?” Jack pursued, checking his watch again. He vaguely remembered that the Nile was awash with crocodiles and hippo and wondered what Daniel’s parents had been thinking, taking a young boy into such a place.
Daniel’s brow creased in confusion. “No river,” he began uncertainly, “Lake. Minnesota – land of a thousand lakes.” Daniel’s insistent tone brought Jack’s attention back to the young man’s words.
“Minnesota? Your happy place is in Minnesota?” Jack asked, almost smiling. He must have spun a good line to Daniel for the archaeologist to be dreaming of happiness and safety somewhere in Minnesota.
Daniel moaned low in his throat and began to pant harder again.
“Details, Daniel, it’s all in the details. Tell me about it. What can you hear? What can you smell?” Jack was desperate to keep the younger man conscious if at all possible.
“S’afternoon,” Daniel supplied, quietly. “The sun is starting to go down. I can hear the loons, calling across the water and the trees moving in the breeze. I can smell wood smoke and the lake water on your skin.” Daniel’s head lolled on Jack’s shoulder and he fell silent.
Jack’s eyes were wide in the shade beneath the trees.
Your skin?
Daniel had definitely said ‘your’ skin.
Jack frowned, puzzled. Daniel had never taken Jack up on the offer of a trip to the cabin, yet his brief description of Jack’s personal corner of heaven had the older man yearning to be there now instead of this gloomy, cool forest, filled with noises he didn’t recognise and unknown dangers that threatened to take away his best friend.
Jack gathered his scattered wits and rocked Daniel slightly. “C’mon, Danny, tell me more, what are you doing in Minnesota?”
“Nothing. We’re lying on a blanket, drying off. I can feel the scratch of it on my back.” Daniel’s voice was slurring and was getting quieter with each response.
Jack didn’t miss the use of the plural again “What can you see? Who’s there with you, Daniel?” Jack knew this was no time to be hoping what he was hoping, but he needed to know all the same.
“You are, Jack.” Daniel sounded as if this was the most obvious statement he had ever had to make. “I can see you. You’re lying on your side next to me. Your hair is all wet and you’re laughing.”
Jack was stunned. What had started out as something to help Daniel control the pain had become a twisted game of truth or dare. Daniel was baring his soul, not knowing the secrets he was revealing with every word. Jack didn’t dare to hope that what he heard in Daniel’s description was anything more than the words of a delirious, sick man who had too few happy memories of his own to hang onto when he needed them.
“Then what?” Jack whispered, tentatively swiping a cheek against the damp, brown hair of his friend. Was he taking advantage? Should he ignore it and ask Daniel something different?
Daniel didn’t reply for the longest time, just panted and shifted about. Finally his voice, little more than a breath by now, sounded in Jack’s ear. “You put a cold hand on my warm stomach and laugh some more. Then you lean over and kiss me. You taste cold, like lake water and beer. It’s starting to get chilly now, the sun has gone behind the trees and you wrap us both in the blanket and put your arms around me to keep me warm, even though your skin is still colder than mine. Really cold, Jack…it’s getting really cold now…” Daniel’s voice trailed off and he stilled in Jack’s arms, slack and loose-limbed.
Jack tightened his grasp around his pale archaeologist and laid his head back against the tree again, stretching his neck from where he had been straining to hear Daniel’s quiet words.
“S’okay, Daniel, I’ve got you. I’m warming you up now, can you feel that? Getting cosier every minute, wrapped in our blanket by the lake. It’s soft on the grass. The loons are still calling to each other and the crickets are chirping. Think we’ll sleep out here tonight, under the stars, what do you say?” Two fat, hot tears tracked their way down the older man’s face.
Daniel's happy place was Jack’s cabin in Minnesota, which the younger man had never even visited... and in the company of Jack himself. Wasn’t that just cosmic mockery that he should find this out now?
Jack had had no inkling that the civilian on his team might be hiding feelings for him. Daniel was not like any other man he had counted as a friend before and Jack had nothing to compare the intense younger man's behaviour to. The people Jack got close to were usually guys, just guys, beer drinking, sports loving, straightforward guys.
Daniel was different. Daniel was complicated and infuriating. Daniel was challenging and strangely compelling. Daniel was important to Jack in a way he had ignored for so long, he thought he would never have to consider it again.
Daniel wasn’t one of the guys.
He was the guy.
Feeling sick to his stomach, Jack ironically congratulated himself on having kept his own feelings hidden so successfully. He’d obviously given Daniel no reason to suspect that Jack might have found him attractive. And presumably no reason to suppose that he might be interested in men at all.
It was a lesson Jack had learned early on in his training, when a cadet who was less cautious than himself had found himself hospitalised after making an ill-advised pass at another rookie. The guy only lasted a day when he finally got out; Jack remembered his face as he’d walked out of the silent barracks for the last time, a dozen pairs of hostile eyes on him. Jack vowed this would never happen to him; giving up an occasional screw would be a small price to pay for the chance of a career he’d dreamed of since he was a child.
He’d known within days of meeting Daniel, that this was a guy that could be dangerous to him. Daniel’s gentle spirit and fiery determination were a combination guaranteed to attract Jack, who was drawn to strong characters who were without guile or an axe to grind.
That was why it had been so easy to love Sara, with her generous soul and her stubborn streak; she had been easy to fall for. Jack had loved her in a way that had surprised him. She had been his first real relationship with either sex; up ‘til then, it had always been for fun. Sara had been someone he’d wanted to share with, someone he needed to keep in his life, and even when their marriage had been failing in the months leading up to Charlie’s accident, Jack had found a kind of serenity in her company.
The same serenity he found in Daniel’s company.
Jack had had to do some quick thinking and make some tough choices in the months after he had been recalled to active duty. Having Daniel on his team had been a pleasure and an agony for Jack. But he’d vowed to help the young man find his wife and by the time that promise had been tragically fulfilled, Jack had squashed any feelings other than purely platonic ones, so effectively, that any issues he had with Daniel were on a friends-only basis.
Jack wondered how long Daniel had been in love with him before ruthlessly cutting off that pointless train of thought.
It would soon be dark and Jack made preparations, having his rifle, water and a flashlight on the ground beside him. All the time, he murmured to Daniel’s unconscious form, keeping him updated with their situation. The white faced young man made no further effort to communicate and Jack found himself checking his vitals ever more frequently.
When the radio crackled to life, Jack quickly responded to Carter’s hail.
“We’re on our way, sir. We will be with you in approximately one-five minutes.”
“Understood.”
“Colonel, what is Daniel’s status?” Janet’s voice sounded calm but brisk.
“He’s unconscious. Pale, wheezing, panting. His pulse is fast. He was awake briefly earlier.”
“Keep him as warm as you can. If he regains consciousness, try to keep him that way,”
“Understood, out.”
Jack instinctively hugged the inert man tighter, although rationally he knew he was keeping him as warm as possible already.
“Hear that, Danny-boy? Doc’s on her way, you just have to stay with me for a few more minutes, then we’ll be taking you home, okay?”
Fifteen minutes could as well be forever as Daniel’s breathing became more laboured and his skin took on a bluish hue in the rapidly fading light.
“Say, Daniel, that happy place of yours sounded pretty good, mind if I share?”
Jack settled back and closed his eyes, shifting Daniel in his grasp more comfortably. “So, Minnesota, late summer afternoon. Loons on the lake and you and me wrapped in a blanket on the soft grass. Hey, I think we’re finally warming up now, Danny. So I taste of beer and pond weed, whereas you…you taste like coffee and fresh air. How you can still taste of coffee, I don’t know, but you do. Your skin is warm against mine and I can feel your heart under my hand, strong and steady.”
In the gathering dusk, with the smell of fungi and leaf litter all around them, Jack cradled Daniel’s still form against his chest and joined him in his dream. It was as if the ten more minutes wait they had to endure could be shortened by Jack’s deep murmurs as he filled in the gaps in Daniel’s image.
“I have beer in the cabin…and books…your books. What do you say we take this inside for now, as the sun is going down and all? I’ll tell you what, Danny-boy, I’ll whip us up some dinner. I can fry a couple of those fish I caught earlier. Happy place, right? There are fish in my lake in the Happy Place. You can read. I’ll lay the table. I made that table you know. My Dad, he was real good with his hands, taught me carpentry and cabinet making. Made the deck too, and the bed.”
Jack paused. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he continued. “So when I take you to bed later tonight and hold you just like this, you can remember that, okay? I made our bed with my own hands. The same hands that are rubbing your arms to make them warm.” Jack mirrored his words with gentle action, stroking Daniel’s skin through his jacket. “The same hands I’m running through your hair.” Jack snaked up an arm and pushed the damp strands away from Daniel’s face.
Jack heard the first noises of running feet crashing in the distance. He bent down and pressed a quick kiss to Daniel’s head. “I love you, Daniel. Dinner’ll be ready soon; you have to wake up now. Come on, we’ll eat, then you can sleep. In our bed. Wake up now, Danny. You’re too heavy to carry and I don’t want to sleep without you.”
Jack straightened and raised his voice.
“Carter, over here.”
Jack had to force down a physical wave of nausea as Daniel’s limp body was taken from his grasp by the medics. It left a place against his chest that was suddenly icy cold. Jack got up and stood to one side, watching as Janet and her team got to work. Carter was carefully taking samples of the web and the SGC personnel, although only five in number, seemed to swarm over the scene, stabilising Daniel for transportation.
When Teal’c and the healer arrived, Daniel was already strapped to the stretcher, an IV taped to his arm and his white face covered with an oxygen mask. Teal’c’s demeanour was sufficient for Jack to know that the healer had not been capable of the pace that he had deemed necessary. Jack doubted that the guy knew how close he had come to being carried on the Jaffa’s back.
As they prepared to move out, Jack heard Janet asking quick, concise questions of the local healer, getting the information she needed. Then the formidable small woman accepted a jar of what the villagers used against the venom and gave him some advice on not allowing guests to go where something as innocent looking as a web could kill them. With a short nod, Janet directed her team back along the path they had just come from.
Jack took up a position on the right hand side of the stretcher, away from Daniel’s injured hand and caught Janet’s questioning glance across the body of his friend. Jack looked away and matched the pace of the stretcher-bearers with a grim expression.
“He’s sedated, right now, Colonel. You shouldn’t take his stillness for anything worse than it is.” Janet’s voice quietly invaded Jack’s brooding silence when the older man had glanced at Daniel’s face one too many times to ignore.
Jack nodded in reply, reluctantly giving her a small grateful smile.
“What were you in the forest for?” Janet persisted.
Jack knew that Janet was trying to occupy him, to keep his mind from running away with him. “Some shrine or something. Daniel wanted to see it, told me it was culturally important.” Jack shook his head as he realised his indulgence of Daniel’s wishes might be the cause of his death.
“Not your fault,” Janet said shortly, and Jack wondered if he had spoken aloud. “This stuff is what he lives for…one of the things he lives for,” she amended quietly. Jack resolutely would not meet her gaze and, as they reached the edge of the trees, he ordered Carter ahead to dial the gate.
“Jack,” Janet murmured as they crested the ridge on which the Stargate stood, its blue shimmering welcome giving Jack a modicum of hope. “I can’t promise anything, but if I was a betting woman, I would say that his antihistamines and what you have done is enough.”
With that Janet left Daniel’s side and was first through the portal, practically giving orders as she crossed the event horizon in an effort to have everything ready for Daniel’s care.
As the stretcher reached the top of the steps, Jack reached down and quickly squeezed Daniel’s hand. He couldn’t believe what Janet had just done for him. Every medic he’d ever known had been cagey at best, downright obstreperous at worst. Janet had just given him a non-professional view and he loved her for it.
“Nearly there now,” he told the pallid, unconscious man and stepped back to watch his friend disappear through the rippling circle.
Epilogue
Jack bounded down the steps as he heard the car pull up. Something stopped him from opening the door for the tired looking young man in the passenger seat. Sure enough, when the air force driver came around and attempted to assist, he was politely, but icily thanked and sent on his way. Shrugging, the dismissed man busied himself with depositing his passenger’s bags on the deck before getting back into the car and starting back down the track.
“Hey,” Jack smiled.
“Hey,” Daniel replied, somewhat cautiously. Two weeks in the infirmary had Daniel looking thin and pale. The poison and the subsequent massive allergic reaction had taken their toll on the vitality of the studious young man.
Jack had been stunned when Janet had suggested to the General that Daniel needed a week or two of recuperation, preferably with someone on hand to look after him, at the briefing they had all attended. The look she had pointedly aimed at Jack had been so unsubtle, he had been surprised not to be court martialed on the spot. Somehow he’d spluttered out an offer to take Daniel for a break at the cabin, avoiding both the General’s and the Doctor’s eyes.
“That would be perfect,” Janet had quickly replied. “If my patient is amenable.” Jack had sent her a sickly smile across the highly polished table.
General Hammond had ordered two weeks downtime for SG-1 and dismissed his staff, with an amused, knowing smile. Did they really think he was born yesterday?
As Janet and Jack had parted ways in the corridor outside, Janet had pressed a list of do’s and don’ts for Daniel’s continued care into his hand and hissed, “Took your time, Colonel,” before winking outrageously and sauntering back to her office.
Jack realised, with a start that he was staring at an uncomfortable looking archaeologist standing, lost, on his drive.
“So, I’ve got fish for supper, is that okay?” Jack said, cocking his head to one side and peering at the younger man.
“Did you catch them?” Daniel asked, suspiciously.
“Of course,” Jack lied smoothly, stepping up to Daniel and slinging a strong arm across his shoulders before leading him into the cabin. Although it wasn’t cold yet, Jack knew that late summer in Minnesota meant that when the sun went down, so did the temperature, so he’d laid a fire for later.
As he followed Daniel through the door, the younger man turned a beaming smile towards Jack, obviously delighted by his hideaway. Pushing the door closed behind him, Jack heard a loon call softly from the lake as the sun dipped behind the trees and smiled as Daniel’s eyes widened in recognition.
Fin