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Sleep kept eluding him despite his efforts. Tossing and turning, there was no comfort to be had. His claws dug in to what little cushion he had left of his bunk.
“Zeb.” Ezra snapped from his bunk above him. “Either talk to me or one of us is going to have to explain it to Hera, since I’m sure Kanan is already aware.”
The youngling dangled one arm over the edge of his bunk in a swishing motion.
“And I can already sense it’s about Kallus. So gimme.” He made a grabbing motion with his hand.
Zeb swatted it with no real force behind it.
“What would you know about it?” He grumbled.
“Doesn’t mean I don’t know somethings up with you...both of you.” After a few seconds Ezra dropped down to sit on the floor of their room with a resigned huff.
Zeb’s accidental recruitment of Kallus hadn’t gone over well. It hadn’t gone well with rebel command and it definitely didn’t go any better with the rest of the Ghost crew. As relieved as they were to find him on Bahryn, he had left a significant part of his stay out. Particularly all of Agent Kallus’ involvement.
But by the time they got the full debriefing, Kallus was already a Fulcrum informant and was starting to turn the tide against the empire.
“He won’t stay.” Ezra said quietly as he settled, drawing Zeb back from his thoughts.
Zeb’s head swirled around with a snarl. “You don’t know that.”
They sat in an brief silence before Ezra added, “But I sense he wants to.”
“Yeah? One of your Jedi senses?” He snarked, but the animosity was sorely lacking.
“Yes.” Ezra looked up at him with such sincerity that Zeb’s ears folded down.
“Don’t play that game with me, kid.” He went to turn over. “We have a mission in the morning.”
“Oh. The one in three cycles? We’ve got time. And you’re awake, so I’m not gonna leave you alone. Not until you answer me.” Ezra said, kicking his bunk.
“Why? So you can taunt me about it later? I’ll pass.” Zeb rumbled tucking himself into a ball.
“But you do want to talk about it...” Ezra said, pulling his blanket down with the force.
Zeb rolled on to his back with a growl and pressed his palms to his face. “I don’t. Know!”
“About Kallus or about your feelings?” Ezra asked wrapping the blanket around his shoulders.
“Both? Either? I mean..” Zeb made a helpless guesture. “I don’t even know where to start...or even if this is something I can even talk to you about.” He said reaching out with a foot to pull the excess blanket over Ezra’s head.
“Hey! We’re having a serious conversation!” Ezra squeaked as Zeb used his foot to hold the blanket on his head and push down, ruffling his hair.
“I really... don’t know. I..I should hate him. Everything the Empire has done. To me, my people, to you. To all of us. To so many planets....I should hate him. But....”
“He’s just one guy.” Ezra finished.
“He’s just one guy and he’s not the Empire.” Zeb ran his hands over his face again. “There’s a lot of people in the Empire and I still...I told him I was over Lasan. What happened. I don’t know if it was more for me...or just to make him feel better...”
“Hmm. I don’t think it’s that easy, Zeb.”
“He won a Boosahn Keeraw. That’s...not. Just something you just get lucky at. It’s a matter of honor..skill.... I...it’s...” Zeb let his head fall back as he tried to find the words.
“It’s complicated?” Ezra said, smiling back at his bunk mate.
“Urgh. Very.” Zeb said, running his claws through his beard and half wondering what Kallus’s felt like...
“Bet that clean cut beard doesn’t make matters any easier.” Ezra chuckled, trying to lighten the mood while clearly reading his mind.
“How would you know about that?!”
Zeb snapped pulling the blanket from the youngling with his foot.
“Call it intuition?” Ezra tried with false innocence while clinging to his blanket.
“Banthashit.” Zeb snarled.
“Ok ok fine. All I’m gonna say is maybe sometimes...some people...” Ezra drawled on.
“Kid, I will throw you out the airlock.” Zeb snapped.
“And Kanan says I have no patience.” While he rolled his eyes. “Kallus likes you too, you big dummy. I don’t think he realizes it yet though.” Ezra’s voice tapered off toward the end and and Zeb was pretty sure his heart and lungs had stopped functioning after the first few words out of Ezra’s mouth.
Once his bodily functions decided to come back to him, Zeb drew a breath and sighed, suddenly very tired of it, and they still had a mission bright and early.
“Ezra, you’re family, and I wouldn’t actually toss you into space, because Hera’s wrath is much worse, but don’t try to give some kind of false hope.”
He said quietly before turning over in his bunk.
Ezra stood before wrapping himself up in his blanket and flopping in to the bunk with his back to Zeb’s and pressing his back to the Lasat
“It only false if you don’t see the truth.” Ezra mutters, following his bunkmate into a deep sleep.