Chapter Text
When you first come across your Hawke, you may feel a variety of emotions. (Most frequent are lust, irritation and a wild desire to share intimate details with your Hawke.) This is normal, and should not be cause for concern. (Note: if your Hawke is of the grouchy persuasion, be mindful that your Hawke may resort to violence or cussing, and should not be mixed with polite company unless you want to piss them off. It is pretty funny.) To establish your relationship with Hawke, you must first offer them a challenge they must complete to win your favour – without this, your Hawke may become confused and not realise he or she now belongs to you. For best results, try to pick something that involves murder. Hawkes of all persuasions are talented at killing, though some may act happier about this than others. And hey, if you've got a rival you want to be dealt with, why not kill two birds with one stone? Other means for establishing a relationship are available, but not nearly so fun. (Also, at some point they'll probably involve killing someone.)
Once you've claimed a Hawke as your own, you need to take care of them. Hawkes are needy creatures, and must be fed and watered daily. They're also very social, and are wont to wither away and die if you don't pretend they are the centre of your universe at all times. At this point, you may wish to consider sharing your Hawke with others. Don't worry, your Hawke will recognise that you are the true owner, and will treat you accordingly. (It helps to be a charming, handsome and roguish dwarf, but I appreciate that this isn't always a possibility.)
You may come to notice that your Hawke is developing romantic interest in another – this is normal, and should be cautiously encouraged. While most all Hawkes have... interesting taste in their partners, your Hawke may grow bitter and resentful if you call them out on this, and will only be sated when you buy them a pint. This does not, however, mean you should not become involved in your Hawke's personal life. Why not write stories involving your Hawke and their chosen beau? It not only shows you support the happy couple, but if you slightly change the names for legal reasons you can even make a profit off of their burgeoning romance. (For example: the tumultuous and overblown romance between Falcon and Janders proved a roaring success amongst Hightown's nobles, though there was some debate over whether Falcon was not better suited to the dashing pirate captain Bella. While some were offended by the work, a surprising number of people praised the story for daringly having the principle couple be two apostates.)
In rare but entirely understandable circumstances, your Hawke may show interest in you. Try to brush them off gently, possibly while making loving reference to your anthropomorphic weapon. They'll get the hint.
No matter how darling and precious your Hawke may be, it is important to remember that life isn't always sunshine and daisies. Hawkes have a distressing habit of losing family members at every turn, and it is important that you show your sympathy in one brief conversation and then never mention the loss ever again. Your Hawke will probably get over it, or else swallow their grief and push it to the back of their mind in order to complete their tasks. As any owner worth their salt knows, suppressing your emotions is the healthiest way of dealing with it.
On rare occasions, your Hawke will have family members that don't die, but something else horrible will probably have happened to them. In this instance, it will probably be your fault. Again, make a passing line of condolences and all will be well once more.
In the case of romance related trauma (e.g. love interest running away, being forced to kill their entire clan or a light spot of iconoclasm), stay out at all costs. Your Hawke may start crying, and you will feel really, really uncomfortable.