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She whispers it like a secret against her lips-- which really isn't all that far off, they really shouldn't be doing this but that's never stopped them before.
"I love you."
It's not the first time she's said it, far from it actually. During family obligations where appearances are everything or sarcastically at school whenever she gets her way. But it's the first time she's said it while they were doing this.
While both their parents were downstairs entertaining guests. While their parents were waiting for the two of them to come back down from doing whatever excuse Lauren gave them before pushing her up the stairs and into the nearest room-- their shared bathroom.
While Amy's hands were on her thighs and moving their way upwards. While Lauren had her hands tangled in Amy's hair, tugging on it whenever Amy bit down on Lauren's bottom lip. While the two of them kissed like they might never get to again, which they might not given their reality.
Lauren says it and everything comes to a a grinding halt. Amy's hand stop and grip against Lauren's thighs, she pulls herself away to look at Lauren. She's breathing heavily and her cheeks are so flushed that if anyone saw her they might think she was sick, which really Amy thinks she is. Her dress is bunched and wrinkling with each passing second, her lipgloss is completely gone and with a lick of her lips Amy realizes it's all over her's.
"What?" Amy realizes how stupid it sounds but her brain is caught on how the sound of Lauren's voice when she said she loved her. The small breathless voice that is completely the opposite to her daily one, the voice that only Amy hears and only ever wants to hear from Lauren.
Her eyes snap open. They're dilated, filled with lust and want but that was being quickly replaced with panic and fear. Lauren's ears burn red to the point of being painful, the reality of what she said, how she said it, weighing visibly on her.
"I don't know why I said that. Heat of the moment or something." Her voice trembled a bit but any sign of fear had disappeared as quickly as it came. All that was left was the Lauren that everyone else knew, the one who spoke sharp with venom laced into every word or actions directed at another person. The Lauren Amy knew before they had started doing this.
Amy should say something to try to patch the quickly growing rift that was forming between them, she knows she should say something, but any response she had caught in her throat. Lauren loves her? Like love loves her? Like actually has feelings for her outside of making out or rutting against each other in the dark?
"I-- Okay." Smooth Raudenfeld, real smooth.
Lauren's jaw clenches a few times, irritation clearly etched into her features, before she lets out a frustrated sigh and shoves at Amy's shoulder. Somehow Amy managed to get Lauren onto the counter during their little bathroom rendezvous and now she's feeling a bit too cagey for her liking. Personal space was always a thing she valued above all.
Taking the very clear hint Amy gives Lauren the space she demands and places herself near the opposite door. She's keeping her eyes on anything but Lauren, jumping from the ceiling to the shower before she just settles on staring hard at the ground; praying that this is all some bored-to-tears induced day dream and she's actually sitting on the couch downstairs completely out of it. Which of course she isnt, instead she's standing in the corner of her bathroom with smudged make up, post-make out hair and the clothes to match. Everything about the picture screams tragic after school special and it would be hilarious if the tension in the air didn't choke Amy every time she thought of something to say.
Fortunately Lauren handled these situations exponentially better than Amy ever will and broke the silence that seemed to stretch for ages.
"Farrah and my dad are going to think something's up, we can finish this" Lauren gestured aggressively between Amy and herself, "not talking shit later okay? Just, go fix yourself up before heading downstairs, If they asked you had a rip in your shirt and I needed to fix it I'll wait 5 minutes before following."
Lauren had jumped off the counter by the end of her little speech and opened the door to Amy's room giving her an expectant why aren't you moving idiot look but Amy could only stand there dumbstruck and gawking at how disconnected Lauren acted. She was expecting yelling or something but not a complete shut down of all emotions.
Second ticked by and Amy still was rooted in her spot trying to keep up with the whirlwind that was Lauren Cooper. 5 minutes ago she was breathing heavily and professing her love (like?) for Amy and now she was standing opposite to her with only her clothes and make-up echoing that moment, her hip cocked and fingers tapping rhythmless on the door looking all levels of calm and collected (with a hint of homicide underneath it all).
Lauren huffed angrily when Amy still refused to move from her spot. "Fuck Raudenfeld if I knew you were this useless when worked up I wouldn't have dragged you up here, whatever I'll go down first."
She's out the door and at the top of the stairs by the time Amy snaps back to reality with a less than dignified comeback.
"I'm not useless!"
Her only response is an exasperated huff and arms thrown up in the air followed by angry stomps descending back down to their unsuspecting parents and party guests.