Chapter Text
Slowly, people began to leave the church and the ruins of Sector 5. By the time the sun had gone down, only a few remained. Cloud was out of the water by now, and his boots were almost dry. As he laced them back up, he felt a light touch on his arm - his newly-good arm - and glanced over his shoulder to see Tifa.
"Hey," she said. Her voice was soft, and for a moment, Cloud felt almost stung by the softness, like she was treating him with fragility. He tried to push the feeling away. "Everyone is meeting up at Seventh Heaven... you should come by."
Cloud thought about Avalanche and their celebration after the first reactor bombing. He hadn't been invited to that one. It felt like so long ago.
"Yeah," he said, nodding. "I will, I just..." He trailed off - something he was prone to. Luckily, Tifa was used to it.
"No problem. Just... don't keep me waiting all night, okay?" She smiled, and Cloud felt a burn of shame in his chest.
"I won't."
She turned and left, and for a long moment, Cloud just stood there, not quite staring at the church doors, his gaze unfocused.
Finally, he turned and took in the rest of the church. It had seen better days... the pews were worse for wear now (the ones that still remained, anyway), and the place where the floor had been torn up was much larger now. It was quiet in the church - Cloud could hear the sound of a light breeze through the cramped spaces and abandoned places of Sector 5, whistling between loose rafters above his head. He stood there in silence for a long moment, hoping he'd feel her presence again... but it was still, and quiet, and Cloud reminded himself that Aerith couldn't always be there. Not anymore.
At that thought, the familiar burst of guilt, shame, and regret started in his stomach, but he tried to stop it. He said he'd forgive himself, didn't he?
Maybe that was going to take some time, too.
Without his motorcycle, the walk back to Edge took some time. Wreckage from Midgar on at least the streets had been mostly cleared out by the WRO already, so the walk wasn't difficult, but it did take some time. About halfway through, the weariness had start to set in, and by the time he made it to Seventh Heaven's wooden staircase, he wasn't sure how he'd make it up the five steps. Just as he was considering sitting on the bottom one and probably passing out, the doors burst open.
"There he is!" a bright voice cried. "Sheesh, we were starting to think you'd forgotten about us or something!"
Yuffie came charging down the stairs, grabbing one of Cloud's arms in her own and beginning to haul him up the stairs. Luckily, Cloud managed to pick his feet up at all the right times, keeping himself from falling on his face.
It looked like a once-lively party only just beginning to wind down as Cloud stepped through the front door. Barret was standing at the jukebox, looking through the selection; Vincent and Cid were engrossed in a card game, with quite a few empty glasses around Cid's side of the table; Red was curled up in a ball under the counter, picking up his head when the door opened; and Tifa was cleaning up dishes from the bar's largest table, which still had a good number of plates with food on them. Cloud hadn't realized how hungry he was until he'd seen it...
"Got 'im!" Yuffie announced.
Tifa looked up, and smiled a big smile that reached her eyes. It was definitely a welcome sight.
"About damn time!" Barret called. He punched a button on the jukebox, having made his decision, and as he turned away from it, an upbeat song started. "Food's gonna be cold by now!"
"Yeah, sit the hell down and eat somethin'," Cid said, not even looking up from his cards. Cloud had the feeling that whatever game they were playing, Vincent was better at it. "Your scrawny ass needs it."
Cloud didn't object to that - after all, every one of them had just thrown him into the air, so maybe he was a little scrawny. The geostigma had definitely done a number on his appetite. He approached the table Tifa was cleaning. She had a stack of plates in her arms.
"Did you cook all this?" he asked. It looked like a lot of food...
"Marlene and Denzel helped," Tifa said. "It's all quick stuff I make for the bar anyway."
It had been a while since Cloud had been back... he didn't remember Tifa serving a lot of food. Maybe she'd done that before... before he'd come to Midgar, when Seventh Heaven was in Sector 7.
"Here, I made a plate for you with some of everything," Tifa said. She gestured to one, and Cloud's eyes widened a bit. She laughed. "What, are you surprised?"
He wanted to apologize that she'd had to do that for him because he hadn't been there... but instead, Cloud swallowed and said, "Thanks."
She grinned. "Yeah, yeah. Just eat it, okay? No complaining if it's cold!"
"Yeah." Cloud grabbed the plate, then looked over, finding a seat at Cid and Vincent's table. There wasn't much room, but he took his plate there anyway. He didn't get the option to see either of them very often anymore, so...
"What took you so long?" Vincent's voice was cool, looking through the cards in his hands. Even now, his gloves were still on. By comparison, Cid looked more casual, and yet... Vincent seemed a lot more relaxed. Cid didn't seem thrilled at his performance in the game so far.
"Had to walk home," Cloud said. There were a lot of things on his plate... he started with something that looked breaded and deep-fried in the corner. A vegetable of some kind? Whatever it was, it was good, even cold. Still crispy, somehow. "My motorcycle isn't exactly in the best condition after ... all that."
"What? What's wrong with her?" Cid seemed to perk up at conversation about something he was good at, even if it was just a bike. "Did she turn over at all when you tried to start her up?"
"Yeah, a little. But I don't know anything about fixing it, so..." Cloud shrugged.
"Huh. Well, I got some time with the new ship all done. Could swing over to check it out tomorrow morning."
It wasn't long before Cloud was exhausted - he felt a little bad for eating a plate of food and immediately going to sleep, but he couldn't keep his body awake any longer. He lingered at the foot of the stairs at the bar, vaguely half-listening to Yuffie and Cid argue ("I'm staying on your ship tonight!" "The hell you are! Don't just decide that by yourself!") before turning up to head to his own bed.
On the way, Cloud peeked in to the children's room. Marlene and Denzel were sleeping soundly. Cloud already knew Barret was in the guest room, so he turned down the hall, towards the room he shared with Tifa. He hadn't been there to actually sleep a night in his bed in a long time... but right now, he didn't have the energy to give that much consideration. He trudged down the hallway, opened the door, hit the bed, and fell asleep before he could even get his pauldron off.
The next morning, Cloud woke up to the smell of breakfast cooking. He slowly sat up, stiff and uncomfortable in bed, his body aching from the terrible way he'd slept. At some point, Tifa (he assumed) had tried to help - she'd managed to get at least his pauldron and main holster off, although some leather strapping still remained. She'd also pulled his boots off, which he hadn't even realized were still on. He felt a little embarrassed as he re-dressed himself. Tifa’s bed was already made, so she must have already been awake.
Within minutes, despite his aching muscles, Cloud was downstairs, lured by the smell of cooking meat. Something was sizzling in a frying pan, and Tifa was standing in the kitchen, cracking an egg into a bowl.
"Good morning," she said. "How'd you sleep?"
"Fine," he said, which was a lie.
The jukebox was silent now, but the bar wasn't deserted. Barret and Marlene were eating breakfast together at a table by the windows, and Denzel was sitting there with them, fork in hand. When his gaze met Cloud's, he suddenly sprung up out of his chair and threw the fork onto his plate with a loud clatter, running for Cloud. Cloud had only a second to prepare before Denzel made impact and his arms were around Cloud's waist. Cloud returned the hug after a moment, his own arms wrapping around Denzel's shoulders for a brief second before Denzel pulled back.
"I'm so glad you're here," he said. "I thought you left us forever."
Cloud felt a sting of regret at that, but he couldn't exactly fault Denzel for feeling that way. It wasn't like he'd planned on coming back. He'd had reasons for that that had felt right then, but now...
"Cloud, do you want one egg, or two?" Tifa called. Cloud, unprepared to answer that question, hesitated.
"Uh--"
"Two it is, then," Tifa said, cracking another. Cloud sighed. Everyone was trying to get him to eat more, it seemed.
As if reading his mind, Barret called after him, "Get your scrawny ass over here!"
Marlene giggled, used to her father's language by now. Denzel grabbed Cloud's hand, pulling him over to the table, and Cloud took a seat next to Denzel, across from Barret and Marlene.
"Morning," Cloud said, more to Marlene than anyone else. She smiled.
"Good morning!" she said, brightly. "Daddy says he's gonna stay here for a while!"
"Oh yeah?" Cloud looked over at Barret, who shrugged.
"Yeah, said I'd stick around while we organize a team to go back out to the field I scouted earlier," he said. "You interested? Well, I guess that'd be boring work for you. Could always use security, though."
"Pass," Cloud said, without hesitation. Then, after a second, "I think I need to take care of something, anyway."
"What's that?" Barret took a big bite of toast, which was completely smothered in jam. Tifa was spoiling them.
"A hunch." Cloud frowned. He wanted to say more... he didn't necessarily want to keep being so secretive. But... he didn't want the kids to think that anything was wrong.
"Are you going away again?" Denzel asked. His voice was full of hope, which Cloud knew he was about to dash.
"Not far," Cloud said, finally. "Just need to meet with Rufus Shinra and talk about something."
Barret scoffed. "And here I figured that guy was dead," he said. About that moment, Tifa appeared with Cloud's plate, setting it down in front of him. There was toast, two eggs, and fried bacon, and like Barret's, Cloud's toast had butter and jam.
"Enjoy," Tifa said. She pulled a chair over from another table, sitting at the head of the table. "What's this about Shinra?"
Cloud frowned. "Just... want to make sure everything has really been disposed of. That's all."
"Hmm." Tifa looked thoughtful for a moment. "It's probably a good idea, but... how can you be sure? It's not like you can just ask them and they'll be honest with you."
"Why the hell they have that damn box in the first place?" Barret asked. "Ain't that just like Shinra, holdin' on to something that's tryin' to destroy the planet?" He shook his head. "Feels like they're right back at it."
"Anyway... I want to talk to him about it." Cloud took a bite of his eggs, fried over-easy. It was really good.
"I think he owes you an explanation, at least," Tifa said. Barret laughed.
"You think he cares what he owes?" he asked. "He don't care 'bout nobody but himself."
After breakfast, Cloud met up with Cid (who did, in fact, have Yuffie on his airship). Despite Cid's loud, long explanations as to what, exactly, had been upgraded from the Highwind, the ship didn't seem much different to Cloud. He did appreciate the trip to Sector 5 being a lot shorter, though.
Once Cid saw Cloud's bike, he started fussing over it (and scolding Cloud, here and there, until Yuffie reminded him he'd "kicked freaking Sephiroth's butt, again" and Cid grumbled but shut up). It needed a new part, as it turned out, and Cloud knew a shop in Edge that sold scrap and salvaged machine parts, so they went back for it. The reduced amount of natural light that Sector 5 could get was already scattering in bright oranges and pinks by the time they got back, and it was completely dark once Cid was finished. He seemed pretty satisfied as he dusted off his hands, wiping grease away with a cloth he'd taken from his ship along with the rest of his tools.
While he'd worked, Cloud and Yuffie had done what they could to clean up the church. There was no fixing the floor right now, although Cloud wanted to fix it eventually - at least back to what he remembered. But they'd cleaned up a lot of the broken wood and debris, and swept away dirt and scattered leaves and petals into the water. Already, the water level looked a lot lower - it had started to sink into the exposed earth, and Cloud wondered if maybe new flowers would grow. He hoped so.
The familiar sound of the bike's rumble as it started up alerted them that Cid was done with repairs. Cloud and Yuffie stepped out of the church, and Cid greeted them with an expression Cloud could only describe as pleased with himself. That was fair - Cloud was pretty pleased with him, too.
"Should work pretty damn good now," Cid said, lightly slapping the side, where the gas tank was. "You gotta be easier on this thing, there's only so many in this world and I don't see any motorcycle factories running right now, do you?"
He made a good point. "I'll keep that in mind," Cloud said, and Cid huffed a little, shaking his head.
"Anyway, you wanna ride it back?"
"Yeah," Cloud said.
As Yuffie and Cid boarded Cid's airship and it took off, Cloud sat on his motorcycle, thinking over his options. He told Cid he'd go back... and maybe he should. But...
Now that he wasn't so exhausted that he almost couldn't stand, Cloud felt uneasy about going back again. He told himself it wasn't because he felt guilty, or because he was isolating and pulling away, but rather because he had things he needed to be doing. He sat on the motorcycle, swinging his leg over the side, and opening the side storage compartment to store his sword.
The weight of the sword on Cloud's back was both a relief and a burden, and he was glad to unload it for a bit. With the sword back in place, it meant his job was done (again, for now) - Sephiroth was defeated. On the other hand, the weight was, literally, a lot on his weary shoulders. He wasn't exhausted and battle-weary any more, not after two meals and a night's sleep, but... he still felt tired in a different way, mentally exhausted, maybe. He couldn't stand to go back, not immediately. He would, but... he needed time.
"You always need time," he told himself. He was scolding himself, but his voice was so weak it hardly came out - just puffs of air, only really voiced in a couple spots.
Cloud started up the motorcycle, pulling out onto the highway. He had to drive through Edge to leave, and he stopped at a small convenience store off the highway and grabbed something to eat and a new phone. Cloud didn't put much thought into it, just buying the only black phone they had in stock. He didn't need anything fancy, but he needed something, even if he rarely answered it.
As he drove out away from what remained of Midgar, into the horizon, Cloud's mind turned back to Aerith. He tried to keep the warm feeling of Aerith's magic and the sound of her voice in his memory, trying to hold onto it as strong as he could.
There was the remains of an abandoned farm far out from Midgar - a small operation that was once owned by Shinra as an experiment on farming potential when growing crops on mineral-rich land found farther out from the city. For whatever reason, the buildings had been abandoned, probably long before Cloud had even left Nibelheim as a kid. The turn off was hidden from view on the main road; Cloud probably wouldn't even know this place existed if Zack hadn't pointed it out to him on their ride to Midgar so long ago.
Most of the complex was fenced in with a simple chain link fence. Cloud breezed past the small guard station (empty, of course) and pulled his motorcycle alongside an old rusted truck bearing remnants of the Shinra logo on the side. Weeds sprouted up between cracks in the pavement below its tires, dotting spots in the driveway.
There were several buildings in the complex, from what looked like several silos to a small barn to a storage hangar, but Cloud headed towards the farmhouse instead, taking the two steps up the patio to the front door. It creaked loudly on its hinges as Cloud pushed it open, but he'd been here before, so he wasn't surprised to find the door unlocked. He didn’t expect anyone else inside, either - but thought it was best, before relaxing, that he do a quick sweep of the house just to be sure.
Something about going through these rooms was just… weird. There had been a family living here at some point - parents, a young daughter, and a son. At least that was what it looked like from the rooms. The farmhouse was small, and Cloud felt uncomfortable in the bedrooms, like he was intruding in some more overt way than he already was. The family must have left in a hurry, because there were lots of things left behind. That was the only reason he could tell what kind of people had lived here. Most of the furniture was still there, and lots of personal things that made the place still feel lived-in. The living room had a well-worn plaid couch, a small coffee table, and a wooden rocking chair. There was a radio on a shelf on the wall, but Cloud knew this place didn’t have any energy. The living room also had a few boxes filled with books, like they’d been packed but left behind in the move.
While Cloud didn’t see any noticeable leaks in the roof, the humidity in the area had definitely set in over the years, and there was a definite smell of mildew. Cloud didn’t mind it too much, really, but still crossed the living room and went to the window. It was a struggle to get it open, but the window finally slid up, screeching on its track.
There was a puff of dust as Cloud sat on the couch, taking out his convenience store meal and popping the top off. As he ate, he opened the new phone, and made a call to an automated line that allowed him to forward the calls from his old phone to this one, which was the best (or at least, the easiest) way he knew how to replace it.
Then, he sat back, finished his meal, and considered his next move.
It was hard to know what to do. He’d had a plan before all of this - namely, to get away from everyone and await death, just like Tifa had said. She’d read him pretty easily… not really surprising.
In a way, maybe it was nice to be known by someone like that. Sometimes (or maybe, lately, most of the time) recently it felt like Cloud didn’t know himself, but… if he was predictable to Tifa, there must really be something there.
Now that his geostigma was cured, he was in the strange position of having to revisit what he thought was his last decision; he was suddenly forced to map out a future he hadn’t thought he had. It was strange and disconcerting. Cloud felt like, mentally, he was standing on uneven ground.
For now, he’d start where he’d told Barret he’d go - Rufus Shinra. He had to make sure that Jenova really was gone, and he needed to know why the hell they’d kept it in the first place. It wasn’t like anyone else was going to hold them accountable.
Cloud finished his meal, took off his boots, and laid down on the couch. (There was no way he was sleeping in any of those bedrooms, even if the beds were all still there.) It briefly crossed his mind that, if he was going to end up staying here long-term, he should probably at least try to clean and dust the living room. But really, this was an inconvenient base without at least running water, and it was a Shinra facility, making it a little strange to stay there.
He rolled over, facing the back of the couch, crossed arms over his stomach, and closed his eyes, pushing the thoughts away. A conversation with Rufus Shinra and some serious thinking about his (temporary) living situation was on the schedule for tomorrow, but for now, it was time to sleep - and really, that was about all of the future that Cloud could plan right now. Luckily, it wasn’t long before he drifted into sleep.