Archive of Our Own

Dum Spiro Spero

While I breathe, I hope

Kara should’ve known.   At first it was just a creeping feeling, barely even there underneath everything that has been happening around her.   There had been a couple city level threats following the aftermath of Lex Luthor’s attempt for world domination about seven months ago that almost cost the lives of people Kara loves dearly.   They stopped him, eventually, thanks to his sister, Lena Luthor, unknowingly, the source of this creeping feeling that keeps incessantly scratching deep down in Kara’s head.   Because despite of Lena choosing to save her in exchange for both her brother’s and mother’s life, their friendship has still remained broken and unrepaired.  If anything, it has gotten worse.   The distance between them had only grew and now it all feels like a distant past one could only reminisce but never turn back to.   It’s a tragedy but too much has been said and done that all hope for reconciliation is close to bleak.

Kara should’ve known.  The second time was a stronger hunch, a foreboding feeling every superhero has when it comes to sensing imminent danger.   But with Obsidian North’s upcoming VR lenses launch, a new and upgraded version of the first VR technology, Kara is kept busy with writing a new article about it to dwell on the fact that L-Corp is playing co-partner with said upgraded Obsidian project.   Especially, when her personal life is also undergoing huge changes.

A soft ‘hey’ and a familiar touch distracts her from typing, catching her off-guard as she suddenly looks up to gentle eyes and a kiss that she isn’t too comfortable doing in an office filled with gossiping co-workers.   So she ends it as just as quick, pulling away.

“We’re at work, Wil,” she reminds him as she warily looks around. 

“Sorry, can’t help it really,” William cheekily smiles and Kara sighs. 

“Anyways, here,” he slides two invitations towards her as he leans against her desk, rolling up his sleeves and placing his hand against the table’s surface.

She looks at the fancy print.   The bold letters that read Obsidian North, elegantly scribbled across the black special paper, along with the time and date of the launch.   But then Kara’s eyes automatically drift towards the print below.  

L-Corp.

It’s been a while since Kara has even been to the fancy headquarters of the top fortune 500 company.   It feels like years ago when she had so freely slipped in and out its doors for so long that it eventually turned into a habit.   A habit she had to get rid of after painful words had been exchanged, lies were spilled out in the open and secrets had been unraveled.   A memory she desperately tries to shut out.

“She might be there,” William suddenly says and Kara almost forgets he’s still around. 

“Will you be okay?” 

It’s a question she isn’t prepared to answer but nevertheless, she does. 

“Of course,” she says, eyes wandering back to her computer screen.   “Besides, it’s Andrea Rojas’ word I need so I can finish this article.   Hers and that of the head of the tech team.”

She doesn’t say that talking to Lena might not be an option.   That their last conversation had been short and clipped.   That her messages seven months ago have still remained unread and things going back to the way they were is close to impossible. 

“Lena, I—“

“It’s enough, Supergirl.   Let’s end it there.   It’s over… there’s no going back.   You and I both know that.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, me too.”

True to her word.   That conversation had been the end.   An end to a friendship she had cared for so dearly that it had ultimately broke her when she realized that.   Even though she already had an inkling, finally facing that fact had been hard.   She had hoped otherwise but that hope has failed her.

Still, she should’ve known as she went to the event that night, a hand around William’s arm as they enjoyed the champagne and be entertained by the magnitude of the new Virtual Reality features.   The ambitious project had been successful in fulfilling its promise of creating worlds anyone desired, unlimited possibilities and an experience that is no different from reality itself.   Somehow the last part is something Kara worries about.

“We’d also like to thank our co-partner in this technological milestone, L-Corp’s CEO, Lena Luthor, for being a huge part of making Project Spero possible,” Andrea proudly says as she motions towards the side of the stage. 

Everyone claps as Kara’s eyes drift to the person whom she hadn’t seen for almost a year.   A sinking feeling in her chest as she realizes just who exactly spearheaded the project.   This was Lena’s work.   Of course it had to be.   Nobody else could’ve enhanced such complicated technology in less than seven months. 

Lena stands in her usual elegant demeanor, radiating confidence with her head held high and an aura that demands respect.   Dressed in black with her hair pulled in a bun, her team of security and assistants surrounding her.   Kara’s certain she had arrived late and through the back door to avoid the press up front.   The news about the Luthors may have died down a bit as months have passed but nobody has completely forgotten the fear of the threat Lex and Lillian had imposed upon everyone.   Lena surely doesn’t want to face any of that.   Not when she’s slowly trying to regain L-Corp’s reputation back.   That’s perhaps why she didn’t even attend her brother’s and mother’s funeral, the one made under heavy security amidst the angry protestors marching outside the memorial park.    

She did know that Lena had went for a visit a week later, one evening inside the Luthor’s private mausoleum.   She had been there too, watching as Lena quietly orders her assistant to have the heavily vandalized doors cleaned up.   She wanted to come closer, wanted to let her know that she’s there.   To assure her that despite the conflict and the sins her family has committed, she’s not alone.   That she’s still allowed to grieve.  But Kara also knew that her presence will only add to the pain and the guilt.   Lena chose her and the good of the world over her family’s lives.   A very difficult decision to face.

Memories of years ago haunt Kara as she remembers how Lena always felt  whenever the topic of her family’s atrocities always keeps staining all the earnest work she’d been doing to right all those wrongs.  She’d seek Kara’s company whenever moments like that arises, now Kara wonders if Lena has someone else to lean on now.    She tastes something bitter in her mouth and her shoulders sink when she thinks of it.  

Has it really been that long ago?

And now, fate seems to want them to keep crossing paths.  Kara needs that interview and she’s not going to let some other reporter take her hard work on this assignment just because of personal issues.  

Lena leaves right after the unveiling, declining any interaction with the media and Kara decides that maybe the appointment she’s scheduled tomorrow would be far more appropriate than ambushing her out of the blue.  At least, there’s time to prepare.  Besides, she’d still have time to put up the article before the product is released worldwide.

For now, she lets William pull her to the dance floor as she tries to enjoy the night, hoping to push away images of Lena in her mind, tries not to think of the empty look in her eyes, of the smile that doesn’t feel real, of that sense that something just isn’t right or that moment when she meets her eyes and the wounds she thought had healed start to bleed again.

She should’ve known then.  If she did, she wouldn’t have frozen on the spot.  Instead, she would’ve fought all odds to talk to her.  Then maybe, she could’ve stopped it from happening. 

“Dr. Ellis had to go to an emergency conference, I’m afraid we have to reschedule the interview on Wednesday.”

“No, no, you don’t understand,” Kara tries to cut her off as she hastily explains.   “As much as I’d love to have a chat with one of Project Spero’s electrical engineers, I have an appointment with your CEO, the head of said project.  I’m from Catco and Andrea Rojas sent me.”

“I’m really sorry, Miss Danvers but please understand Miss Luthor is not available at the moment.  She’s out of town dealing with important business.“

“It’s been almost a week,” Kara says impatiently.  “And your people specifically said that she’d be away on a three day trip so I’m not sure who to believe.  Look, if this is something personal then—“

“Of course not, Miss Danvers.  There’s just been a misunderstanding—“

“It’s okay Jess, I’ll take it from here,” a familiar voice speaks behind her and Kara whirls around to find Samantha Arias standing behind her.

“Sam!” Kara exclaims, eyes wide as her lips break into a smile.  “What are you doing here?”

Sam opens her arms for a hug and Kara quickly meets her half-way.  She’s missed Sam ever since she left with her daughter Ruby to become CEO in L-Corp’s division in Metropolis.   Girl’s night wasn’t always the same without her.

There actually hadn’t been one since, well, Lena left but she doesn’t dwell in that thought.   She can’t go there.

Sam leads her to her old office, the floor below Lena’s and motions her to sit on the couch.  She offers her a drink but Kara declines.   When her assistant leaves, Sam looks at Kara with an expression that makes Kara suddenly anxious.   Dealing with trouble on a daily basis makes one familiar with the signs.  

“You wanted to see Lena?” Sam asks as she takes a seat across Kara.

“Yeah, I’m writing an article on the new L-Corp collaboration with Obisidian.  It’s about the newly upgraded VR lenses,” Kara explains, shifting in her seat as she breathes out her thoughts. 

“But it seems that I’m still not welcomed here.  Not that I blame her but I thought that maybe professionally—”

“Lena’s missing, Kara,” Sam cuts her all of a sudden, wringing her fingers as she says this. 

“They aren’t telling me anything but when out of the blue they call me in to fill in for her with some vague reason about Lena being out of the country at the moment, I figured that something is definitely not right,” Sam confesses in hushed tone, eyes flitting to the door as if someone would overhear. 

“Have you contacted her?” Kara asks.

“That’s the thing, it all goes to voicemail.   I went by her house.  It's locked, lights are out and curtains are down.  Nothing.   All I have right now is a letter with her signature telling me to take over for a while which is already strange because Lena always calls.   She would have told me about this but there was no mention of it the last time we talked about a week ago.  She called me late at night and,” Sam sighs and shakes her head.  

“She asked how I was and Ruby, like the usual.  Lena calls from time to time but I had a feeling something was up.  I just thought maybe it was just one of those days.  Stress of the job and all,” she continues, seemingly on the verge of blaming herself that Kara reaches out to her.

“It felt like something wasn’t right, Kara.  It’s like she’s… saying goodbye.  I should’ve seen the signs—”

“It’s not your fault, Sam.  We’ll find her.”

It should be easy.   She is Supergirl after all and Supergirl has abilities like super hearing to find someone.   Admittedly, she’s used her abilities to confirm that Lena was indeed not in L-Corp and simply avoiding her the first day she came.   The reason she didn’t look further into it was because Kara knows that she always had businesses and events to attend to out of the country from time to time.  

She should have known. 

Whoever has Lena might be connected to L-Corp.   Someone who probably wants her position as CEO to do such a thing and that’s why her absence is easily covered.   No reports or any news about her sudden disappearance.   She would know, this wasn’t the first time somebody tried to abduct Lena Luthor.   The woman has like a target on her back all the time.

But without Lex or Lillian, this abduction is certainly not foreseen.   Neither was she involved with Kara or Supergirl anymore.   Lena saved National City.   Some may not look past her family name but it’s stupid to plot something as huge as this just because they simply hate her.   And with Lena’s heavy security, one has to have loads of money and the right people to even get close to her.   Or perhaps, be as indestructible as Supergirl.

Breaking into Lena’s house in the middle of the night is the last option Kara would choose but given the dire circumstances it leaves her with no choice.   This would also be a good time to use those pick-locking and computer bypassing skills Alex taught her.  Something she once thought as unnecessary but is now useful.   She wasn’t going to go tear down Lena’s doors unless it’s an emergency.   She’s just here for answers and where else was she going to start looking but at the last place Lena would’ve been before disappearing?   

Stepping inside with light steps, Kara takes a moment to realize that this was the first time in a very long time that she had stepped foot inside Lena’s house.  Everything was still pretty much the same.   Pristinely white, open with tall glass windows, high ceilings and luxurious.   Lena had once confessed that she had been sick of having to live in the Luthor Mansion’s dark and enclosed walls.   Suffocated was the exact word.   So Kara doesn’t blame her for opting the opposite. 

Venturing further, Kara’s chest jumps at what her ears had captured.   A heartbeat.   Lena’s heartbeat to be exact.   It wasn’t strong, not as a heartbeat would sound like when one is awake, at least.   It’s soft and calm.   The type of way that tells her that someone is sleeping. 

“Lena?” she calls out, disregarding the consequences of being caught and questioned for trespassing.  

Kara only wants to confirm she’s safe.   That there wasn’t a thing to worry about after all.   That the nagging thought at the back of her head was wrong.

“Lena?” she tries again, walking in to find broken shards of glass near the wall, with the amber colored liquid spilled around it, Kara can tell it’s whiskey.

Her frown deepens at the bottles of alcohol on the coffee table, seemingly left there for a long time.   She passes the balcony doors which she silently notes are closed and heavily curtained.   A contrast to the days long ago when Supergirl and Kara were known as two separate people.   Lena’s house had been open to both.  Now they are as tightly shut as her heart.   

To the left, the kitchen is still spotless.   Memories of hearty chatting and dining invade her thoughts and Kara exhales at the thought that Lena used to make them tea on particularly cold nights.   She eventually shakes them off, focusing back to the task at hand.

Lena’s bedroom door was open slightly and by now, Kara is concerned by the lack of security.   It’s strange that she hasn’t tripped on any alarm system yet.   Usually, Lena would’ve had them set up 24/7, highly complex lock screens and security guards outside the door.   If someone were to plan on robbing the house now, they would have a higher chance of success.

Kara knows she’s near to the source of the heart beat she hears.   Pushing the door open, she prepares for a confrontation, an accusing look and harsh words.  All of which she were to accept as long as she could guarantee that nothing is wrong and everything she’d been dreading was all in her head. 

But when she finds an empty unmade bed, half the sheets spilling down the floor and a photo frame lying upside down the floor, Kara’s fears come crashing back in, stronger than before. 

“Lena!” she yells again, circling around the room but still coming up empty. 

No Lena in sight. 

When she almost trips over the photo frame, Kara finally picks it up, flipping it around to find a photo of the two of them underneath the broken glass.   It’s the same photo she keeps in between pages of her diary. 

This time she hears it again, that same soft heartbeat and Kara knows that she isn’t hallucinating.   Lena is close.   It’s just that she wasn’t thinking like a multi-billionaire scientist who has lived her life cracking secret doors, investigating illegal experiments conducted behind her back, decoding words hidden in chess pieces and evading monthly assassination attempts.

Because she should’ve expected lead lined walls behind Lena’s walk-in closet.   She should’ve expected that it’s where security is tightest.   It’s like Lena didn’t care about anything else but this.   For some reason, she also didn’t think that a Kryptonian would try breaching said walls because of the ease that Kara breaks through what was supposedly tightly secured thick lead lined walls.   Kara did figure out where Lena had placed the alarm system and one step in, she realizes she’s immediately triggered almost invisible laser light motion sensors.   Which means she needs to move fast before real security comes kicking in.   But as soon as she enters the hidden room, Kara is shocked at what she finds.

“Lena,” she utters with a frown on her face, hands touching the glass of a capsule that contains the missing Luthor. 

Lena is unconscious, sleeping, if Kara was to be asked.   Her vital signs displayed above the glass.   All of them normal except she’s seemingly in stasis.   With no time left to spare, she breaks the capsule’s locks, prying it open in haste and reaching in to shake Lena.

“Lena, wake up.”

It’s no use.   Her hands bump into intravenous tubes connected on Lena’s arm, providing the nutrients her body needs which lets Kara learn that she has indeed been like this for a period of time.   Lena never went out of the country.   She’d been here all along.

“Lena, please wake up.”

Her hands move up to Lena’s face where she discovers something else.  Her thumb gently pushes back her eyelids to find gray colored irises instead of green and Kara gasps at the revelation that Lena’s not only in a deep sleep but under the influence of Obsidian’s new VR lenses.

Outside, the front door breaks open as footsteps approach and Kara knows that whoever those motion sensors have alerted are now heading their way.   Making a quick decision, in a second she changes into Supergirl, detaches the needles on Lena’s arm, carrying her in her arms and flying them both out of there. 

When Kara’s feet touch down at the DEO, it’s Alex that runs to her.

“Supergirl, what happened?” she asks, glancing from Lena to her as they rush to the DEO’s medical clinic.

“I don’t know,” she says distractedly as she places Lena down the medical bed where she is immediately attended to. 

“I found her like this.  I just—I don’t know.”

“Hey, hey,” Alex cuts her, holding her arm before she could pace around anxiously. 

“It’s a good thing you found her.  She’ll be fine.”

“Will she?” Kara immediately questions before trying to calm herself down.  Alex’s eyes never leave her, prompting her to sigh in frustration.

“I should’ve known.”

“How?  How could you have known?”

“I don’t know.  Maybe I could’ve kept a close eye on her or I could’ve walked over to her at the event last week and tried to talk to her rather than stand there like an idiot!”

“Are you blaming yourself for this?” Alex asks her, a frown painting her features.

Kara doesn’t answer but she really didn’t have to, not when it seems pretty clear.  Alex was about to speak when one of their doctors beats her to it and Kara doesn’t know if it’s a good thing to put their conversation on hold or not.

“Agent Danvers,” he begins.

“We might have a slight problem.”

Alex steps forward as Kara’s heart sinks at those words

Kelly Olsen arrives way too early in the morning and Kara looks at her apologetically knowing that it’s still an ungodly hour to be up and ready.   Alex is the first to greet her, an apology already on her lips as she guides her to the room where Lena remains unconscious.  

“You found her like this?” Kelly asks when she sees Lena for the first time, rushing over to her side to check on her. 

“She’s wearing Obsidian lenses but it seems that it’s been tampered with.  So now we’re dealing with something far more advanced than that of Obsidian’s original technology,” Alex explains. 

“You’re right about that.   She’s not even conscious,” Kelly notes. “It’s like she’s gone into a coma which isn’t like Obsidian’s VR tech at all.   All of our consumers are awake and aware when using our devices.”

Kara hangs her head, rubbing her eyes as she leans against the glass walls of the room.

“Where was she when you found her, Supergirl?” Kelly asks, glancing at Kara.

“Inside a capsule that is keeping her body functioning.  We figured she was in it for more or less a week,” Kara answers, walking closer to the edge of the bed.

“What is it?” Alex asks Kelly.  Having known each other intimately, Alex can already tell that something is bothering her girlfriend.

“It’s just… You think there is foul play here?”

Alex looks at Kara before answering, “We’re still trying to figure that out.”

“You think she did this to herself too?” Kara blurts out, eyes towards Kelly as she cuts to the point.

“Well, Obsidian lenses being forced on someone is unheard of but not impossible.  As you said,” she motions over to Alex, “the device has been altered to seemingly put the wearer into a deeper state of virtual reality, possibly creating a world that is able to deceive a person’s mind into the illusion that, that world is their reality for an unknown period of time,” Kelly explains.

“But that’s all just assumptions and I would need to do further testing to back that up.   All my things are back at Obsidian.  If we need concrete answers, we need to bring her in or… move my lab here.”

“We can’t bring her there,” Kara immediately says. 

“When I triggered the sensors, someone knew.  Now with all the evidences in front of us, neither L-Corp nor Obsidian North are to be trusted at this point

“Okay then, how do you suggest we do this?” Kelly asks but before they could decide, one of the DEO’s staff interrupts them.

“Agent Danvers, L-Corp’s representatives are here to see you.”

“L-Corp’s reps are here?” Kara questions in surprise, glancing over to Kelly.

“I swear I didn’t call anyone.”

“Well, looks like we’re about to get our answers then,” Alex sighs, giving Kara a pointed look.

Whatever they might find, it doesn’t matter to Kara.  What matters is getting Lena back safely.

“So you’re saying that this is some kind of research experiment Lena herself is spearheading?” Alex repeats.

Kara’s head feels like it’s spinning, her chest constricting as L-Corp’s representatives give them a vague explanation about the current situation and like any multi-billion dollar company under investigation, their lawyers are present to make sure there are less complications.

“Yes, it’s something we’ve been discreetly working on.”

“Experiments are supposedly conducted in a lab,” Alex throws back at them, “So I’m sure you understand where our concern is coming from.”

“Miss Luthor deemed it comfortable to do it in a place where she is familiar with.  Scientists test their works all the time.  It’s natural.”

Kara looks at them in disbelief.  There’s something here and she’s sure L-Corp is trying to put down the fire they are trying to start at this moment. 

“Yes but I hope you guys are aware of the proper ethics done with human test subjects and this is rather falling into a rather extreme situation,” Alex counters yet again.

“Miss Luthor may have given her consent but I know that every experiment has its risks and I do believe that you have measures that ensure her safety?”

“We do, of course and we can assure you that everything is fine.“

“Well how are you to ensure that everything is fine?  Is there a way you can pull her out of this once it starts risking her mental health?”

“Our scientists are fully prepared for that, in case, things start going south and so far, they’ve been reporting positive results.  It’s safe.”

“And what kind of world is she in right now?” Kara suddenly speaks for the first time since they all sat down in the conference room.   All eyes fall to her as she stands proudly in her super suit.

“I don’t think I am authorized to give that information—“

“So, you don’t know?  Then how can you be sure that she’s safe?”

“Her brain activity shows us that Miss Luthor is in no harm.  In fact, it has showed results that suggest that—“

“And how long does this experiment last?”

“Until we’ve gathered the right amount of data.”

“For what exactly?   What even is even the end goal of this experiment?” Kara presses on.   She feels Alex’s eyes on her, ready to stop her if need be but she needs to know.   If Lena is in danger, whatever this madness is has to stop.

“That would be… confidential, Supergirl.”

Kara looks at him for a long time before shaking her head ever so lightly, eyes looking at him accusingly, “You don’t know anything, do you?  You have no idea what this is.”

“Supergirl, we at L-Corp—“

“Pull her out of it.” Kara demands.

“We don’t think that, that would be the right—“

“Kara Danvers is a friend of mine.  She works at Catco and if word of this reaches her I’m pretty sure L-Corp being the center of such a global scandal for illegal human trials would not do well for your reputation.   Not to mention, your stocks.”

“Is that a threat?”

“Supergirl—“ Alex warns her but she’s far too immersed in it to stop.

“I don’t know, is it?”

The unease on their faces is enough satisfaction on her part and Kara knows it’s only a matter of time.

“We’ll have to consult, Dr. Robert Ellis, the head of this project, regarding this very sensitive process.”

“Dr. Ellis?” Kara repeats, finding the name familiar until she remembers it’s the name of the scientific engineer that worked on Obsidian’s new VR lenses.

“Unfortunately, he’s attending a conference in Gotham so we’ll have to wait before he gets back then we can discuss the... next steps.”

Kara hates waiting.   Waiting is the hardest.    All the power in the world and there’s nothing she could do but wait.   She looks at Lena, looking peaceful in her sleep and wonders how they got to this point.   She used to know so much, how she felt, what her plans for the day are, what event she was supposed to attend, the investor she hated meeting the most and yet now they are like two strangers crossing paths from time to time.   Like two ships passing by but never stopping.

“What are you dreaming of?” she murmurs softly, her fingertips brushing against Lena’s hand and holding on.

Her phone alerts her of a message and it’s William asking where she was and Kara closes her eyes, forgetting they were tasting cakes today for their upcoming wedding.   She feels like she should call to apologize.   She does.   He sounds disappointed, anyone would, but he understands when she mentions it’s a ‘Supergirl’ problem.   She grips Lena’s hand when she says it.   It kinda’ is.

Her fiancé hangs up and now Kara is back to waiting.   She waits until Alex arrives with the news that Dr. Ellis will be back tomorrow morning.   She waits until her sister finally kicks her out of the room to wash up and get some sleep.   Still, even as she gets home, she continues to wait.   Wait for morning to arrive so she could get Dr. Ellis himself and fix whatever mess they created. 

They could tell her that it’s safe, that they are careful, that Lena is fine, that she said yes to this but Kara won’t believe them.   Not unless, it all comes out of Lena’s lips.   Not unless, she is back in the right state of mind, fully functioning and healthy.

So when Dr. Ellis reluctantly explains how they manipulated Obsidian tech into something more, Kara’s impatience grows thin.  

“Wake her up,” she orders him and a powerful Kryptonian making a threatening stance in front of a human always gets what she wants.   Kara does not usually do this.  She actually never does.   She hates it, creating fear that is.   But she needs to.   These are desperate times and this means desperate measures are required.

“It’s not that simple.”

“Why not?” Alex demands this time, leaning closely and really, having Alex on interrogation is the worst.   She wouldn’t actually need Kara to make someone talk.

“Because it’s still up to her!” he finally admits.

Kara doesn’t know how to process that information.   That the fact that Lena actually has control of this.   That she actually holds the button to stop this.

“So you’re telling me that she’s capable of actually waking up on her own?”

“Yes.”

“Then… why hasn’t woken up yet?”

“That’s what we’ve been wondering about.   It was her idea.   All of it.   She had this vision of creating ‘another reality’, of living in an ‘ideal universe’.  I know only what she gives me.   We already ran a few tests.  The project was successful.   And then one day she decides to take an indefinite leave of absence and…” he trails off, slumping in his seat.

Kara goes silent, deep in thought as she looks over at her former best friend.

“If she’s not waking up then something might have gone wrong,” Kara mumbles before facing the scientist again.

“A house always has a master key and with every experiment there’s always a master key whenever the need to pull the plug arises.   I need you to use it.”

She makes it clear just how serious she is.   There are no arguments after that not when she reminds him just how easy she can bend steel.

Bringing Lena back should be just as easy.   It was but… there was just one problem and Kara never accounted for this outcome.

That Lena doesn’t want to be woken up.

“What did you do?” Angry tearful green eyes pierce through her and Kara wasn’t ready for any of it.   This wasn’t how she thought it would be at all.

“You’ve been unconscious for almost a week.  We had to pull you out.”

“I didn’t ask for this,” she struggles under Kara’s hold, voice hoarse and tears rolling down her cheeks.

“Lena, please—“

“I need to go home.”

The moment those words leave her lips, Kara fears what she thinks it means.

“I want to go home.”

Because how can she tell her that this, this is home when home is the one thing she clearly doesn’t have right now. 

Lena knows the exact moment it all went wrong and it’s when she wakes up at the blaring lights of the DEO’s medical room.   Being immobile for a long period of time, she’s unable to feel her legs or arms but that doesn’t stop her from fighting.  

It’s unfair.   They didn’t have the right to meddle with her life and how she lives it.   By ‘they’ she meant Kara Danvers or Supergirl, the people’s favorite hero.   Almost a year without a single interaction and suddenly she’s splashing back into Lena’s life like she had every right to. 

Minutes back in the world she swore never to wake up to, she is given sedatives before her hysteria escalates.   They couldn’t blame her though.  It’s like being ripped away from the one good thing she ever had and waking up to a nightmare.    A nightmare she doesn’t plan on staying in any longer.

The problem was, escape would prove to be difficult.   Not when she wakes up again, restrained and watched over.   As if she was some criminal about to destroy the world and needs to be stopped. 

“You can’t keep me here forever.  It’s illegal,” she says with much difficulty, her throat dry and scratchy.   

She hears the clinking of a glass on metal and water being poured down. 

“We actually can, at least until we deem you stable enough,” Kara says as Lena feels her bed reclining up and a glass of water being pressed on her lips.   She gulps in thirstily. 

“I want a lawyer,” she quickly says.  She hears Kara sigh and it’s a sight to see her back to being just Kara Danvers without the suit and the cape.   Now it seems to get harder separating the two of them.   Lena just doesn’t know anymore.  

“You’ll have to wait.  It’s late.”

“They work for me.   I pay them well.  They’ll come running when I ask.”

“Why?” Kara suddenly asks and Lena wants to laugh.  She also knows that the question means something far deeper than it sounds.

Why

“Why do you always want to dip your toes in everything?” she throws back.

 “Because I care.”

Lena finally does laugh.  It’s dry and none of it reaches her heart.   She laughs because it was too ridiculous not to.  

“You care too much,” she points out, deciding to play along with whatever charade they are playing. 

“I know that the world you created is far more beautiful than… this and I understand what it must feel like to want to stay there forever.  But Lena—“

“You don’t,” she cuts her off, sharp and cold, a bitter smile on her lips.   “You’ll never understand it.   Not when you are a Danvers and not a Luthor.  You don’t even know the half of it.”

Her heart clenches, tears pooling at the corner of her eyes, yearning to return back to the reality she clearly chose.  Longing for something she could only dream of in an alternate reality.   Of course, Kara would never understand.   Despite the tragedy of her childhood, she is cared for with all the warmth in the world.   Kara is loved here.   Someone will always be there for her.   It’s useless to argue with someone who’s life isn’t as broken as hers.

“Then help me understand.  Lena, please, talk to me.  Let me in,” she pleads with her, a hand grasping hers. 

A tear escapes Lena’s eye as she finally stares at familiar blue eyes, her thumb instinctively brushing against Kara’s fingers, tracing her engagement ring.

“I already did,” another tear follows the first.

“Look at how that ended.”

Kara shakes her head, unrelenting as always, “I’m still here.  I’m still your friend,” she whispers sadly.

“I can’t be your friend.  Not anymore.”

She slips her hand off from Kara’s grip as she turns her head away from her. 

“I want to go home,” she sighs, closing her eyes as she hears Kara taking a few steps back.

A few hours later, when she awakes, her lawyers are there and she’s walking out of the DEO despite shaky legs.   Still, she kept her head high and never looked back after agreeing to sign confidentiality.   Of course nobody has to know.   The DEO did warn them about continuing with human trials as if they were hurting anyone at all.   But in order to get them to release her immediately, they come to an agreement that every device and technology used in Project Spero, the real Project Spero, has to be confiscated for the time being due to reasons concerning safety and all. 

Lena has to clench her jaws at this but ultimately relents. 

When she is back in the comfort of her own car, she finally lets out a breath of relief, waiting a few minutes until they’ve driven far enough to scan herself for trackers and change out of her clothes before throwing them away into another car because you can never trust the DEO not to do surveillance.   They’ve done it before, to all Luthors.   When everything is deemed safe, she finally opens her new phone and makes a call in perfect Latin, another security measure to ensure that nobody is listening in.

“Project Spero,” she begins, knowing that other line needs no further explanation from her.

“Have Plan B on stand-by.”

Desperate times do call for desperate measures and Lena Luthor is now extremely desperate. 

A day later, Lena is back striding through the floors of L-Corp like she was never gone for a week and of course Kara Danvers would be waiting for her outside her office.   She half-expected that already, given the numerous notifications on her schedule about her appointment with a Catco reporter about Obsidian’s latest upgraded VR lenses. 

“Didn’t actually expect you to be back to work so quickly,” Kara comments as they she follows her inside her office.   Lena just wants this interview to be over quickly.

“I love my job.  I wake up in the morning looking forward to greeting my employees, investors and business partners every single day… with a smile.  L-Corp strives to always give a hundred percent and it should start with its management,” she deadpans as she shuffles through papers that need reviewing piling up on her desk. 

“I haven’t started the interview yet,” Kara sighs as she drops her bag down the chair in front of Lena’s desk and starts taking out her notebook, pen and recorder.

“I’d rather be productive than empty all the bottles of alcohol at the bar.  It’s a waste to follow the doctor’s orders and be on leave when I am fully functioning anyway,” she finally corrects with the truthful answer in a bored tone as she sits down her desk to open her laptop. 

“Lena, have you even eaten anything yet?” Kara asks.

“I don’t see any relevance that has with the Obsidian’s VR lenses,” she says, looking up from the papers she is reading to look at Kara for the first time today.  “I mean, that’s what you’re here for, right?  That, and ensuring I don’t do anything you find unethical yet again.”

“That’s not—“

“Look, let’s just get this over with.  I have a billion things I need to do,” Lena cuts her off. 

Kara seems reluctant but eventually obliges with a nod as she seamlessly enters into her reporter persona seriously and for half an hour they spend it talking about everything regarding Obsidian’s latest technology.  For once, it’s smooth and pleasant, unlike any of their conversations outside work.   By the end of the interview, Lena’s phone lights up and she checks to see a message sent by an unknown number.

‘Plan B is ready’

“Lena, can we talk?” Kara asks, trying to reach out but she stands up, walls closing up fast.  She needs to go home.   She has to go home. 

“I’m sorry, maybe next time.  I have another urgent appointment,” she quickly says as she calls in her secretary who then escorts the hesitant reporter out the door. 

She avoids Kara’s eyes as she tells herself that she’s close, she’s almost there.   She’s almost home and this time it’ll be permanent.   Nothing can ever stop her.   Not even the girl of steel herself.

But perhaps she spoke too soon and the reality is, she shouldn’t underestimate Supergirl because clearly no Super would ever allow a Luthor to remain unsupervised.   Still, Lena questions why she keeps intervening because wouldn’t a world without a Luthor be a perfect world after all?   She’s already making it easy for her.   Nobody gets hurt, everyone gets to go home, what’s wrong with that?

Home, the word aches with longing in her chest.  She’s so close, she could almost taste it.   She basically runs barefoot along the cold dark hall of one of Lex’s secret underground bases, hoping that Supergirl’s hands will remain pre-occupied with the AI war soldiers up front, one of Lex’s many toys.

She’s fumbling for the access codes to the room when she hears a crash far behind her.  Supergirl must’ve defeated the AI soldiers and is now breaking down heavy metal like it was nothing.   Lena swipes her hands across the screen and the thick doors slide open.   She sighs in relief as she finds the replica of the life capsule she’s created.  Inside it, Obsidian modified VR lenses.   Ones that have no direct line to Obsidian’s main program at all.   Lenses that can only be controlled by her and her alone.    It means, no waking up unless she herself decides to.  

Hurriedly, she walks towards it and opens the glass of the capsule.

“Lena!” Supergirl’s voice startles her as she whirls around to find her hand stopping the doors from closing.   The doors are pulled wide open once more and Lena takes one step back, lightly bumping against the capsule behind her.  

Left with no choice, she finally takes out the last card in her possession.   Pressing the emergency button underneath the table, the room lights up with green, bathing them with Kryptonite.  Supergirl stumbles back out to safety, looking at her with pained eyes, green lines forming in her face.

“Stay there,” she says solemnly, looking at her knowing that no apology will ever do.  

She still says it nonetheless. 

“I’m sorry,” she barely chokes out but with Kryptonian hearing, she’s sure Supergirl hears her.   “You shouldn’t have come here.  I’m—“she pauses, suddenly overwhelmed by the sudden rush of emotions pouring down like a raging river.   But it’s the thought that this is it.  That in spite of how pathetic she sounds right now, this is truly the end and stepping forward means there’s just no turning back.   So, some last words won’t hurt, right?

“We’re a tragedy, you and I,” she smiles bitterly.  “But honestly?”

She takes in a deep breath, finding courage in knowing that this is it.   “Honestly, your friendship even though masked with the secrets, the lies and the distrust, it was still one of few good memories I’ve ever had in my life so,” she quickly brushes away a lone tear that escapes with a trembling hand.

“So, thank you,” she breathes out sincerely while Supergirl shakes her head.

“Lena, please don’t do this.  Please,” Supergirl continues to plead, trying to get up and enter the Kryptonite bathed room again but failing.

They fall in deaf ears though as Lena’s pushing in the sequences and getting in the capsule with the VR lenses in her hand.

“You can’t waste your life living in a lie forever!”

She wants to laugh out loud.  Oh the irony of that sentence.   Lena already knows this.   It started with a lie.   It’ll end with one.   Someone like Supergirl, adored and loved by all, will never know the lengths she would go to find the happiness she’s longed for.   She’s had a taste of what it feels like now and she cannot let it go.   It’s an addiction she can’t get rid of.  

There’s nothing for her here.   It’s long been gone.

“Lena, please don’t leave—”

The capsule’s glass slides closed as Supergirl’s pleas become a nothing a muffled noise in the background.   A needle pierces her veins, it’ll supply her with everything her body needs to keep functioning.   Now there’s only one thing left to do.  She opens up the VR lenses just as she hears a thud outside and knows that Supergirl is making one last futile attempt.

It’s too late.

The last thing she sees is Supergirl’s hand on the capsule’s glass before everything goes black.

It’s the streaming sunlight that greets her when she stirs, stretching against her thick duvet as she groans and turns away from the obtrusive light, hoping to get some more sleep.  But when memories of the last events she remembers start assaulting her head, Lena gets up with a start, her heart suddenly sinking at the thought.   She sighs heavily just as she hears her house’s main door opening and closing. 

Getting up cautiously, she crosses her room barefooted still in her night gown, silently grabbing the gun she kept near her drawer.  The cons of being a Luthor would be the never ending attempts on her life apparently.   The noise moves to her kitchen and Lena just about confronts her attacker only to stop and put down her gun the second she sees golden blonde hair and shocked blue eyes.

“God, Kara, I almost shot you!” she bursts out only to find the fault in her words.  She’s obviously forgotten that bullets do no harm to the girl of steel.  Now she feels stupid.   She blames still being half-asleep and Kara who shouldn’t really be here except the DEO probably wants her under surveillance so there’s that.

Lena carefully places down the gun, still trying to get her bearings only to be enveloped by a tight hug by Kara.  Surprised, she doesn’t move, not knowing exactly what to do at this sudden affection.  Lena’s never been used to open affections like this.  Not until Kara came into her life.

“You had me so worried.”  Kara’s unsteady voice breaks into the cracks of the walls Lena’s built up, her own arms slowly coming around to hug Kara back.  Allowing herself to pull her defenses back down.  Lets herself be drawn while her mind is still in a haze.

“Don’t do that again.”

Lena draws in a deep breath, Kara’s shampoo scent filling up her lungs.   She opens her eyes back to focus on the sun spilling in her living room from the wide open balcony doors and that’s when she notices the pictures.  Their pictures, of her and Kara, smiling, happy.   She frowns, finally taking in the place.   The little burst of color here and there, Kara’s baby blue sweater draped on her white sofa, violet flowers decorating the kitchen,  cute colored mugs, and red scented candles on the coffee table next to Kara’s laptop where sheets of paper are scattered messily.

“I’m sorry,” she chokes out, her breathing now shaky as her arms tighten around Kara whose soothing touches across her back as she melts into her. 

“It’s okay,” Kara tells her softly again and again.  “You’re safe.”

“You're home now, my love.”

Lena shuts her eyes at the words, burying her head unto Kara’s neck as her eyes start to sting, clinging to her like she’d disappear if she lets go. 

“I’m home,” she whispers as if trying to convince herself before Kara steps back a bit, loosening the embrace but not completely separating from her.   Warm hands come up her face and there it was, that look and that smile.   The one she misses so much. 

She covers Kara’s hands with her own, placing a tender kiss on the inside of her palm.   Her fingers trace the rings Kara wears and finds that they match the ones around her own. 

“You weren’t answering your phone.”

“I didn’t mean to make you worry.  I was just,” she tries again but comes up short yet Kara only shakes her head with that charming smile. 

“It doesn’t matter.  You know I trust you.  Besides, you’re here now.”

“And I’m not going anywhere,” she swears, looking into those crystal blue eyes.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“Stay with me forever?”

“Of course,” she says reverently.

“I love you, Lena,” Kara says, soft but deep enough to embed itself into her heart.

Their foreheads touch as Lena revels in the moment.   Tears finally escape her eyes and roll down her cheeks.   She breaks into sobs as Kara brushes her tears away, kissing the top of her head while she grips on to her tightly.

“I love you too, so much,” she brokenly confesses in between tears. 

She says it again but it gets swallowed against Kara’s lips and then there’s bliss.   She feels so high, it’s like reaching heaven.   Surreal and cathartic. 

“I got you your favorites, by the way.  You know I don’t want my wife going to work with an empty stomach,” Kara says, lips brushing against hers before it stretches into a wide smile.  Lena notes the paper bag in the middle of her kitchen aisle with the logo of her favorite Irish restaurant. 

“Right,” she mumbles as she’s pulled along, Kara’s laughter ringing in her ears as she talks about her impromptu trip to Ireland and about them taking a vacation there again, their fingers laced together even as they sit.  And when Kara kisses the back of her hand just because, Lena finally lets out a sigh of contentment. 

This, this is truly home and it’s forever. 

She seals it with another loving kiss, a suggestion to skip work today instead and a whispered promise,

“Nothing and no one can ever separate me from you again.”