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“Hey, Rachel? Can you hang back for a sec?”
Rachel froze in place before turning around to meet Holly Holliday’s eyes. Chemistry had just ended, and Quinn had just left the room. Rachel wanted to walk her to her next class, but Holly had other plans. She could see in Rachel’s facial expression that she wasn’t sure if she should be scared or not.
“Hello, Miss Holliday. Is this about yesterday’s lab assignment? Because I can assure you, I-” Rachel started, a defensive tangent regarding her grade already spilling out of her mouth.
“Nah, not about that. I actually wanna talk to you about Quinn.”
“Quinn?”
“Yeah. I know she told you she’s staying with me now and everything.”
“Oh. Yes, she did. It was very good of you to take her in, by the way. Not many people would do that.”
Holly smiled, remembering last night’s conversation with Quinn. “Let’s just say it was as much for me as it was for her. But anyways, I really just need to thank you. For what you said to her. And how you handled everything.”
Rachel frowned slightly, confused. “I’m not sure what you mean.”
“She told me what happened last week. The panic attack in the bathroom, and how you helped her through it. And that she came out to you, obviously. Quinn doesn’t like to open up to people, as I’m sure you’ve gathered. The fact that she did to you, and you reacted so positively means a lot to her. And to me, since she’s basically my family now. So, y’know, thanks. For being there for her.” Holly cleared her throat after she finished speaking and shifted on her feet a little uncomfortably. She was pretty sure that was the most she’d ever said to Rachel in one sitting; the only other time she had interacted with Rachel was when she told her she sucked, then they did a dance number together.
Rachel just smiled warmly at her. “It was no big deal. Quinn is my friend. I just want to help her in any way I can.”
Friend.
There’s the word Holly was looking for.
“Is she? Just your friend, I mean.”
Rachel’s confused frown was back, the furrow in her brow prominent. “You’re confusing me again.”
“It’s just… the way she talks about you, and the way you act around her, I thought there was something going on between you guys. Never mind. It’s nothing.” Holly did her best not to laugh at the way Rachel’s mouth dropped open. This was going exactly how she wanted it to.
“The way she talks about me? How does she talk about me? Wait, how do I act around her?”
Holly waved a hand dismissively. “It’s probably nothing. Anyways, thanks for staying back to talk, Rachel. You’re free to go.” She could tell Rachel had about a million more questions, but instead of answering them, Holly just turned around and started cleaning off the chalkboard in preparation for her next class.
“No way. I’m telling you, Conjuring 2 is so much better! You haven’t even watched it yet, why are you arguing with me?” Quinn asked Sam hotly, turning in her seat to face him directly. Her arms were folded over her chest and she stared him down.
“Because. It’s, like, a rule. Sequels are never better than the original. You should know this, you’re secretly a nerd,” he shot back, not breaking eye contact. They were seated in their usual spots in the back of the choir room, waiting for Mr. Schuester to arrive.
“Never say that again. I am not a nerd.”
“Will you two shut up? No one cares about The Exorcist or whatever the fuck,” Santana interrupted from her spot on the row in front of them. She had her legs in Brittany’s lap, who was doodling in a notebook.
“The Conjuring,” Sam and Quinn corrected in unison. Santana rolled her eyes.
“Like I said: whatever the fuck,” she shot back.
“San, look, I drew you as a turtle,” Brittany interrupted, once again stealing Santana’s attention.
Quinn turned back to Sam, a diatribe about the superiority of The Conjuring 2 on the tip of her tongue that soon died out when she saw Rachel approaching her.
“Hello, Quinn. Is this seat taken?”
“Uh, no. Not at all,” Quinn replied, instantly cringing at how awkward she sounded. She heard Santana snicker in front of her and resisted the urge to throw a pencil at her head.
“So, I had an interesting conversation with Miss Holliday earlier today,” Rachel said after she sat down, smoothing her skirt out and looking at Quinn.
“Really? About what?”
“You.”
Quinn was gonna kill Holly.
“Me? Why would you be talking about me?”
“She said she wanted to thank me for being there for you,” Rachel said in a hushed tone, and Quinn’s heart immediately ached at how sweet this girl was for wanting to respect her privacy. Sam was clearly pretending not to listen to their conversation.
“Oh. That was weird of her to do. Sorry about her,” Quinn replied with a nervous laugh. Holly talking to Rachel was the last thing she needed; that woman did not know how to keep her mouth shut.
“She said she thought something was going on between us. Weird, right?”
Quinn choked on her breath.
“She said what?”
Sam was blatantly laughing next to her, and she shot her arm out to hit him on the shoulder.
“I don’t know. She said it was nothing,” Rachel answered, her eyes cast down to her feet. Her lips were slightly downturned, and Quinn felt her chest constrict. Of course she would be weirded out at someone insinuating that she and Quinn were more than friends.
“Hey, don’t pay attention to Holly. She’s dumb. I know you’re straight; I don’t want what she said to make you feel uncomfortable around me or anything,” Quinn stuttered out in a hurry, squeezing the side of her chair for support. Rachel finally turned to look at Quinn.
“I’m not straight,” she said simply, her gaze steady as she met Quinn’s eyes.
Quinn’s mouth dropped open. She was about to respond, when-
“Alright, everyone! Let’s get started,” Mr. Schuester greeted the club with a clap of his hands as he walked into the room.
Rachel turned her attention to the teacher, but all Quinn could do was continue to stare.
Quinn jammed her key into the lock of Holly’s apartment and threw the door open. They were about to have some words.
“Holly! You bitch!” she yelled as soon as she closed the door behind her. She heard the volume of the TV lower as she entered the living room. Holly was sprawled out on the couch, as always, a pen in her mouth as she flipped through the Chemistry tests she was grading.
“Well hello to you too, kid. How was your day?” Holly asked, smiling innocently.
“Don’t play dumb with me, Miss Holliday, ” Quinn shot back, hands on her hips and a fire in her eyes, in true HBIC fashion, and she smirked at the look of muted fear in Holly’s eyes, “why the fuck did you talk to Rachel? Why would you tell her you thought we were together?”
“Because someone had to get the ball rolling on that relationship, and I knew it sure as hell wasn’t gonna be you. I did you a favor, asshole.”
Quinn threw her arms up in the air in exasperation. “ God, Mom, seriously-”
Quinn smacked a hand over her mouth as soon as the word escaped her lips.
A huge, wide grin slowly spread across Holly’s face.
“You just called me Mom.”
“No I didn’t. Shut up.”
“Yes, you did!”
“I did not.”
“I’m not fuckin’ deaf, Q, I heard it. You totally did.”
Quinn shook her head rapidly and buried her face in her hands.
A sob escaped her throat.
Holly shot up from the couch and was across the room in no time, engulfing Quinn in her arms.
“Hey, kid, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
Quinn was crying. A lot. She could feel her tears soaking the front of Holly’s shirt. But she couldn’t stop; they just kept coming and coming. Her mom. Her mom had stood by and watched her stumble out of the house, face bloody and bags packed, without a word. Just a cold stare.
No remorse.
Judy Fabray had never loved her daughter. She had loved the idea of her, the idealization of her. The cheerleading prom queen. Not the disgusting dyke.
Quinn cried.
They stayed there, in the middle of the living room, Quinn shaking in Holly’s embrace, for a solid ten minutes. Quinn’s shoulders stilled as her crying slowly stopped, and she removed her hands from her face to return Holly’s hug. She hugged her tightly, fiercely, afraid the older woman would disappear if she let go.
God knows the last one had.
Holly placed a light kiss to the top of Quinn’s head, and the dam broke again.
There had never been a moment like this with Judy. Not once. She hugged her mother maybe four times a year, two of those being on Easter and Christmas. There was something so foreign to her about a tender, matronly touch, and that fact alone sent Quinn spiraling.
“Why’re you crying, Q?” Holly asked softly into her hair, squeezing her tighter, showing her she wasn’t going anywhere.
Quinn sniffled. “Sorry,” she croaked out, trying to pull away from the hug. Holly wouldn’t let her.
“Don’t be sorry, just talk to me.”
“I just…” she hiccuped, then took a deep breath. “I hadn’t thought much about- about Judy until now. She… she let him do that. She let Russell kick me out. D’you know how much it sucks to realize your own mom doesn’t love you?”
Holly’s hold on Quinn tightened. “Yeah. I do.”
They let a comfortable silence fall over the room as the weight of their conversation sunk in.
“Quinn, I want you to look at me,” Holly whispered, and Quinn pulled back just enough to meet her eyes. “Judy isn’t your mom anymore. She’s not. I am. I’m your mom. Okay?”
Tears threatened to spill again as Quinn nodded. “Okay.”
“I’m your mom. Me. I’m your mom, and I love you. I love you so fucking much.”
Quinn tackled Holly in a hug so fierce it sent them both tumbling to the ground. Holly laughed boisterously, the sound striking in the middle of their quiet conversation, and the way it echoed was enough to send Quinn into a fit of giggles.
Now they were laying beside each other on the floor of their living room, laughing uncontrollably. Holly looked over at Quinn, whose eyes shut tightly as she threw her head back and cackled, and swore to herself that she would never let another bad thing happen to her as long as she lived.
Quinn’s laughter dwindled after a few minutes, and she turned her head to look at Holly.
“I love you, too. I hope you know that.”
Holly grinned. “I know, kid. Trust me, I know; you called me Mom earlier, for Christ’s sake.” Quinn smacked Holly playfully on the arm.
“Dickhead,” she mumbled. “Hey, speaking of earlier. Why didn’t you tell me you were gonna talk to Rachel?”
“Because you would’ve told me not to.”
“Touche.”
Holly smirked. “C’mon, Q. Just ask.”
“Quinn rolled her eyes. “Fine.” She turned over completely, resting her head in the palms of her hands as she stared at Holly with wide, curious eyes. “What happened exactly? What did she say about me? Oh, God, what did you say about me?”
“All I did was thank her for being there for you and shit. Then she was like, ‘Quinn is my friend, I want to help her,’” Holly said in her best Rachel Berry impression. Quinn laughed at how stupid she sounded. “And then I was like, ‘Are you actually just friends?’ and pretended like I thought you guys were fucking or something.”
“Dude!”
Holly laughed loudly, “What! It was so fucking funny, you should’ve seen her face. She looked like one of those fish at the pet store when they eat their food.”
“That was the weirdest comparison you could’ve possibly made.”
“It makes sense to me, shut up,” Holly shot back with a shrug.
“Okay, what happened after that?”
“I said I thought that because of how you talk about her-”
“Bitch, oh my God! Why don’t you just tell her I’m madly in love with her? Jesus Christ,” Quinn groaned, flopping onto her back in embarrassment.
“Chill out. I’m not done. I said I thought that because of how you talk about her and how she acts around you.” Quinn snapped her head around to look at Holly.
“What do you mean? How does she act around me?”
“Like a lovesick fucking puppy. I genuinely don’t know how you can’t see that. She looks at you like you hung the fucking moon. ‘Oh, Quinn, of course I can help you with your lab work. Oh, Quinn, of course I’ll walk you to class. Do you want me to carry your books, too?’” Holly’s terrible Rachel impression was back, and she batted her eyelashes and held a hand over her heart for good measure. Quinn howled with laughter. “I mean, Christ, she might as well sign her name as Future Mrs. Berry-Fabray on the top of her tests.”
“Excuse me, it’ll be Fabray-Berry,” Quinn joked with a grin.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. You gotta get the girl first.”
“She told me she’s not straight today.”
Holly’s brow shot to her hairline. “Really? I mean I knew that already, but how did it come up.”
“She told me about her conversation with you. I told her not to worry and that I knew she was straight. Then she said she wasn’t straight.”
“What’d you say back?”
“Nothing. Fucking Schuester walked in and ruined the moment.”
Holly rolled her eyes. “That man ruins everything. He always interrupts me when I’m trying to talk to the cute ginger with the weird grape-cleaning thing.”
“Mrs. Pillsbury? She’s straight as an arrow.”
“We’ll see about that. Also, you’re fucking welcome for getting Berry to admit she’s totally a homo.”
Quinn snorted. “I’m pretty sure she’s bi.”
“Whatever. Just admit that I’m the best mom ever.”
Quinn rolled her eyes, but the small smile that had been on her face for their whole conversation never left its place.
“You’re the best mom ever.”