Archive of Our Own

Soulmates complete you. Your soulmate was your other half. While his father never spoke about soulmates to Arthur, Arthur knew his parents were soulmates. Uther loved Ygraine. The King had often told Arthur that the king must stand alone, there was no one he could share his burden with but on knights when he was too drunk, Arthur had heard him lament and call out to Ygraine. One night Arthur heard him mumbling, “Ygraine, you promised you will share my burdens. Where are you? I can't do this without you.”

He had sounded so broken that Arthur had left his chamber immediately but he knew that he would be able to share his burdens with his soulmate. Arthur was excited at the prospect.

He was excited and carefree for three weeks before his father had asked for his presence during dinner. After the dinner, Uther said, “Arthur you will be turning eighteen. You will be getting the first deeds of your soulmate. I know it would be an exciting time for you as you will get the first clue how to identify that one person who completes you and who will love you unconditionally.”

“Yes, Father.”

“But you must remember, you can have your soulmate at the side but you are a crown prince and your duty lies with Camelot.”

“Yes, Sire.”

“Then you know you cannot give in to the soulmate nonsense until you have married someone who will be right for your station. Once you have your heir and spare, you can have the dalliance with your soulmate.”

“Sire but my soulmate would be the only person who can unconditionally love me.”

“If you were a lowly peasant then it would have been no concern and you would have married whomever you wished but you are at the zenith of Camelot’s hierarchy. You don’t have the flexibility to sully the lines.”

Arthur bowed his head in understanding and misery.

“Also, if your soulmate has magic, I trust you will remember your duty and hand them over to the state. No son of mine will have a dalliance with a sorcerer. Am I clear?”

Arthur nodded but tears were spilling from his eyes. His father had taken away the charm and the hope that one day he would be with someone who was made only for him.

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He was so aghast that he did not notice when two days later he started seeing all the colors in the world and not just black, white, and blue. It was a day later when he got a headache from the sensory overload that he went to Gaius.

“Gaius, I have a headache. Why can I see so many colors? Why is everything here red?”

Gaius gasped and hurriedly asked, “When did you start seeing the other colors? Where were you?”

“I was…er.. I am not sure when this started.. em... I am not even sure when.”

“Oh, Arthur. Do you even know what it signifies?”

Arthur turned white, “I glimpsed my soulmate. He was in the citadel and I was unfocused so I lost the opportunity. Oh, no. Now how will I identify him?” Arthur lamented.

Gaius chided, “Arthur, you know better. What are the other signs?”

Arthur deliberated for a few seconds and said, “I messed up the easiest way to identify my soulmate. The other signs are harder to decipher.”

“Yes, indeed.”

“I’ll turn eighteen in a few weeks. I will get my first tattoo soon, my first deed.”

“Er, not your first deed but your soulmates. You will be the surface his deeds and achievements will be printed on.”

“Yes, but it is the same. My soul mate will be lucky. He will be covered in deeds. He will have an easier time identifying me.”

“Yes, probably.”

“So, I can identify him from his achievements.”

“Most people get five or six deeds, soul mates of knights typically have fifteen to twenty and the most celebrated warriors have about fifty deeds. So, if you get a deed per week, it will still take some time for you to identify him. You will be sure that you are seeing the current deeds when the tattoos align to form the picture of your soul animal.”

“Yes, once the first piece of the picture sets in, I will know that my soulmate will be one to have my soul animal as her pet. So, for example, if the picture is of a cat, my soulmate would have a pet cat.”

“No. You will not know what will be the final picture for some time. Once the picture starts, the pet approaches the person.”

“Where does the pet come from? I mean how does one knows which pet to get?”

“You don’t.”

“Out of the blue?”

“Yes. The animal will sense you and approach you. Which is why the second clue is even harder. Pet cats are so common. Seventy percent of Camelot’s population either have a pet cat, dog, horse, or one of the other mundane animals. It's almost impossible to shortlist one with the clue though it helps segregate the population.”

“So, the third and the biggest clue are the deeds. Even an average man or woman can manage five or six deeds that are five or six clues for their soulmate to identify them.”

“Yes. What is the last clue?”

“The last and the most difficult clue to decipher is the pet animal. It will share traits with one’s soulmate and thus one can learn some traits about their soulmates from the animal. This will further reduce the list of potentials.”

“That is why it takes a long time. Those who miss their first chance to know their soulmate have to pay a heavy price in terms of time and hassle to decipher increasingly difficult clues. That is why the average age the people find their soulmate is twenty-six.”

“It is unfair.”

“Maybe, it is but I must caution you here. If within twelve years of your first deed, your soulmate identifies you and develops feelings for you which are not reciprocated by you, then she would stop existing.”

“That means if I do not fall in love with my soulmate by the time I am thirty, she would die.”

“If she recognizes you as her soulmate and she loves you unconditionally.”

“But then there is a chance, I would die of unreciprocated love.”

“There are fewer chances of you dying. If you identify him, you will be able to claim him but if your soulmate is a peasant or servant she might not find the strength to make the same demand from you.”

Arthur nodded. He knew it was the truth. He and his soulmate were constrained by his power.

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Arthur acquired a manservant and a deed on the same day. He was not at all enthusiastic about his new bumbling, idiotic manservant but extremely excited about his first deed. He rushed to Gaius as soon as he felt the first searing pain on his back. He could barely control himself and he threw off his shirt before entering Gaius’ chamber. He shouted, “Gaius, please, read it for me.”

Gaius scanned his back and smilingly said, “Cat in a tree when he was three.”

 Before Arthur could comment, Arthur said, “That is impressive. Most people’s deeds start listing their achievements once they turn twelve.”

“My soul mate is a hero and kind-hearted.”

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Three days later a pup started trailing Arthur when he went to visit the lower town. It was underfed and dirty but was quite resilient and did not leave Arthur’s side. One of the knights tried to pick him up but the little thing bit him. Another guard took out his sword to end the life of the poor thing when Arthur hastily ordered, “Wait!”

Arthur squatted and with his hand called the pup forward, immediately it ran to Arthur and started licking his fingers. Arthur sighed and said, “It seems like I have found my pet.”

A guard snorted, “But this one is not worth your time. He is a runt of the litter and will only shame you.”

“Well, we don’t choose our pets so he will be my companion.”

Then he turned to his manservant and evilly grinned, “Merlin, take him to my chamber. Give him a proper bath and feed him. Then go to Geoffery and the kennel and try to find out what is its breed. I will be back shortly.”

Merlin reluctantly approached the dog and then slowly moved his hand forward to pet the dog. To Arthur’s dismay, the dog leaned into Merlin’s touch and readily left with Merlin.  Merlin dared to wink at Arthur before he left. What insolence.

A few hours later, Arthur returned to his chamber to find the pup had made himself comfortable on Arthur’s bed.

“Not my bed, you idiot,” he mockingly shouted at the dog while he picked it up and started rubbing its back. “Merlin, what breed is it? Why is its hair too long?”

“It is a Giant Schnauzer. They are one of the best guard and protection dogs. They are a dominant and loyal, energetic breed that starves the company and is quick to support its humans. The breed is very powerful and strong by personality. It is very loyal to their family and which makes it one of the best guard dogs for families. Their thick and bushy coat which grows out over the ages makes them more difficult to seize by other dogs or by an intruder.”

“So, a lot of brawn?” Arthur thoughtfully said.

“And brain. They're highly intelligent and agile. They are friendly and loveable. They remain calm and rarely bark unless they feel imperiled. They are strongly built with a thick layer and considered as a loyal member of the family,” Merlin added.

Arthur hummed. His soulmate was an intelligent and loyal individual who would be protective of him. It was a good though. The females amongst the ton were fickle but now Arthur had hope that he would get the better end of the deal.

Arthur named his black hairy pup, ‘Sadir,’ which means a leader. He also started training his dog.

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Arthur noted that Sadir was very protective but had a mind of his own. He disliked Sir Valient and even tried to bite his handoff. Arthur was surprised but his new pet's behavior and did not know what to make of it until during the competition snakes came out of Sir Valiant’s shield. Arthur was able to defend himself and kill the traitor.

The night of his victory, when Merlin was helping him change he got another deed. He could feel it as it was written on his back. It was one of the most welcome pains that he had ever suffered.  

Merlin who was just about to help him in his shirt startled and then inquisitively read, “Jumped in a well to keep a puppy well. There is a number four written in the brackets after that. What does that mean?”

Arthur was shocked. He did not know his new annoying manservant could read. He haughtily said, “That when my soulmate was four years old she helped a puppy out of a well. Very brave, soul.”

Merlin gave him a goofy smile and said, “This writing. Is it not magic?”

“Oh, no deeds are acceptable. Everyone has them. The king did not outlaw something as natural as this.”

Merlin confusedly asked, “So, how many writing will you get?”

“I don’t know. I guess ten or so.”

Merlin nodded and then helped Arthur change for bed.    

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Six months had passed since he got his first deed and pet. Arthur was frustrated. He stomped into Gaius’ chamber and demanded, “Gaius, in the past twenty-four months, I have got twenty-four new deeds and yet they still exonerate my soulmates kindness and love of animals but all of these are from when she was young, very young. The latest deed was when she was twelve and I can't identify her from what she did when she was a child. She had saved every animal known to mankind including some of the more ferocious ones. My heart stopped when Merlin read to me that my nine years old soul mate freed a lion who was caught in a hunter’s net. What foolish person went and help a lion out of a net and did not kill them?”

Gaius understandingly noted and said, “It is rare to find a kindred soul, Arthur. You should be pleased.”

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Another six months passed but Arthur’s mood deteriorated further. His soulmate was proving to be very difficult. In one year he got fifty-one marks. How could his soulmate have so many achievements before he was sixteen? There was every type of thing listed there. For the first ten years, she was exclusively helping the animals but then she started helping humans. Saved a boy from a falling branch, saved an old man but getting bitten by a snake got poisoned in the process, saved the village from famine, saved the woman from an angry bull, and got trampled in the process and whatnot. Fifty-one deeds before she turned sixteen? It was impossible and unheard of.

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A few months later, Merlin went to Ealdor for visit and returned with a dog. Unlike Sadir, his pet was a common street dog who loyally followed Merlin everywhere. Sadir and Merlin’s ‘Eric’ became good friends.

If Eric was Merlin’s pet that meant Merlin had got his first deed. Arthur wanted to find out what was written on his body. Who had claimed his manservant and he plotted how to remove Merlin’s clothes. Incidentally, his knights helped him and he was able to throw Merlin in a river during one of the patrols. Merlin spluttered and shouted but then he swam like a fish even with his clothes and came out and removed his shirt and trousers. Unfortunately, by the time Merlin got out, it was getting dark and he missed Merlin’s deed. But Merlin’s body was not filled up like his body was and he felt sorry for Merlin. His soul mate did not have as many achievements as Arthur’s soul mate had.  

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Another three months passed when the next deed caught Arthur’s whole attention and made him reconsider everything he thought he knew about his soulmate.

“Saved his soulmate from the vengeful mother even when he was punished by the one (16).”

His soulmate had saved his life when the said soulmate was only sixteen. That means Arthur's soulmate must be older than Arthur. And it was a HE. He could not believe it. He always thought his soulmate would be a girl but now the deeds clearly said his soulmate was a HE.

He needed help understanding it all and he went to Gaius, “Gaius, my soulmate is a man?”

Gaius nodded, “Yes. I thought you knew it as Sadir is a male.”

Arthur was shocked, “oh!”

“Is that a problem, Sire?”

“No. I just had to rethink who my potential soulmate is? I should have known when the said soulmate saved every known animal and hundreds of people before he even turned sixteen. My soulmate is amongst the knights. I think he is older than I am but I am not sure how much older.”

“Well, you have a new lead. What else do you know about your soulmate?”

“He is extremely loyal. He would never desert me irrespective of the challenge we face. He is extremely intuitive and understands people and their nature. He can sniff my enemies out even when I can be oblivious to them.”

“Well, that is a good start,” Gaius said. “Anything else?”

“He is an affectionate person and loves freely. He can be clumsy and foolish, a bit of an idiot, and never fails to make me smile.”

“Good. Then you should start testing your knights on these agendas.”

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The next deed was way too confusing to even interpret, “A dog barks and a snake hisses(16).” When the next two deeds following it were as enigmatic, “A friend cursed for father’s life (16)” and “Fire and wind consume water and earth (16)” he went to Gaius and demanded what was happening, “Why are the deeds becoming so confusing. There is no way, I can make sense of them.”

Gaius sighed, “I feared that. Nature has given you fifty-one opportunities to find your soulmate. They were easy to interpret but like the clues, the deeds are becoming enigmatic. It will be harder to understand what was the story behind the deed and thus track down the soulmate. Though your soulmate should be able to fill you in on the story behind the deeds.”

“Gaius, it makes no sense. How am I ever going to identify him like that?”

Gaius was thoughtful for some time and then asked, “How goes your progress with knights?”

“Most of them are boring and thick. I have shortlisted a handful which I would like to pursue further.”

“Then, Sire, I suggest you continue on your path.”

Arthur nodded.

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The deeds kept becoming more confusing, “A cup of death willingly chosen (16)”, “He helped himself from the deathbed (16)”, “Broker trust in accused enemies (16)”, “Together they lance (16)”, “A Noble deed or Nobility’s deed? (16)”, “His first cure, brain (16)”, “Loyal to family even when hurt (16)”, “Sidhe triumphed (16)”, “Help friend and foes (16)”, “Forger of Excalibur (16)”, “Winds of destruction (17)”, and so forth. Arthur could barely understand any of the deeds.

Merlin who read him the deeds was off-color after reading them. He even gasped when he read, “Made payment for the gate of Sidhe country (16).” Arthur hopefully asked, “Do you know what it means?”

He shook his head, “I don’t know but I have heard about Sidhe country. I will have to ask Gaius for confirmation.”

Arthur nodded and as he was impatient for any lead he dragged Merlin to Gaius’ chamber once more. Arthur had a feeling that Merlin and Gaius were having a silent discussion only supported by the twitches of their brows and curls of the mouth after he told him the latest deed.

“Sire, Sidhes have an intuitive head for magic. They look at the forces of nature and can learn the cosmic structures which make those forces and then how to control them. One of the forces they control is life and death. Sidhes are almost immortals. Because of their knowledge, they are treasured and humans took them captive to get the coveted secrets. The Sidhe fled and made their own country which the humans now cannot enter. Well, they can but they have to buy a gate pass and it is almost impossible to get it.”

“What is the gate pass?”

“They have to kill a sidhe and send the body through the portal.”

“So, my soulmate not only killed a sidhe but he sent his body through the portal. What would be the benefit of this? Why did he do such atrocity?”

Gaius shrugged, “Who knows?”

“What is the benefit of going through the portal and entering the Sidhe country?”

“The accounts vary but most believe that every visitor gets two wishes.”

“Why would someone kill to get more power? Wealth? Health? It makes no sense. I don’t think my soulmate is as kind and chivalrous as I believe. My deed’s are getting darker Gaius. He may be even is trampling in magic and is becoming evil. I wish I never meet him.”

The saw the shocked but understanding expression on Gaius face bit the crushed expression on Merlin’s face was heart soaring, “Don’t worry Merlin. I can be happy without a soulmate. You don’t need to worry about me.”

Merlin gave me one of his patented smiles but I could read the sorrow in his eyes. Why can't Merlin be my soulmate? He is a stupid idiot who would barely give his soulmate five deeds but he would be worth the blank body space. While Arthur’s deeds were envied and people praised his brave soulmate, Arthur did not feel the same. His soulmate was not worth it.

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Another six months passed. Arthur did get his deeds continuously but he stopped paying them attention and he told Merlin not to read the deed’s to him. He was so done with the soulmate business and he would prefer to marry someone more stable. He had talked to all his knights, seen the deeds etched on their bodies, and asked them about his marks and had come to the conclusion, that his soulmate was not one of his knights. It was a crushing and final blow. His soulmate was not doing these deeds from the goodness of his heart but because he has turned dark.

The only thing from his soulmate that he still cherished was Sadir. The pup had firmly placed himself in Arthur’s life and ruled it. He was with Arthur every moment of every day. He followed him to council meetings and patrols. He followed him in hunts and feasts. Sometimes he joked that Sadir and Merlin thought if they let the prince out of their sights for a second, he would vanish.

So, it was very shocking when Sadir started distancing himself. He stopped following Arthur and then he even stopped coming to the chamber. Why was Sadir acting so out of character? He was worried sick.

Gaius took sympathy on him, “Sire, it seems that your soulmate is trying to move on. He is trying to form another connection. Your pet is only telling you that his loyalty to you is dwindling and if it continues and he truly falls in love with this new partner, then the bond would break.”

“Is that so? Would it not be better if the bond breaks? My soulmate is a dark and evil fellow. I will never be comfortable with him. I would never be able to love him.”

“Sire, it is not my place to say it but I urge you not to do anything until you know your soulmate. Find him and then if you don’t like what he says, condemn him. The deeds are getting enigmatic and difficult to interpret. Do you even know what they mean? They could be heroic actions as much as they could be sinister evil activities. You may one-day regret breaking the bond prematurely.”

Arthur had no answer. He was so confused. He had always wanted to know his soulmate and to cherish him but then the deeds got darker. His soulmate was not someone innocent. He had killed Nimeuh, Sigan, and a sidhe at the very least. Could he love and cherish someone who killed for pleasure, who was not a knight and still went about killing people. Arthur did not have an answer. Maybe he too should follow his father’s advice. He should marry a princess and forget his soulmate for a few years.

He did not get much time to ponder as Merlin went missing. No one could track him. Sadir stopped following Arthur and kept his distance. He came and slept with Arthur at night but during the day, he was no longer following Arthur. Merlin’s Eric and Sadir played together in the day but kept away from him. Arthur missed his two silent companions during the boring council meetings. He realized how much he craved Merlin’s and Sadir’s company. They were always there for him over the last two years until both of them stopped being there at all. What did he do wrong?

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Three months later, Merlin returned. He was not his carefree self. He had a smile attached to his face but Arthur could see he was depressed, despondent, and morose. Arthur did give him his old position back. Within two months, his two lost companions were back. Merlin and Sadir again became his shadows. Sadir, once again, started going to the council with him and entertaining Arthur throughout the day. Merlin lost some of the heaviness he carried and was becoming more himself every day.

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Another year passed before Sadir once again started showing signs of withdrawal. He had not joined Arthur in the council room for the whole week. This time Arthur knew what was happening and mockingly shouted at Sadir, “You whore. Not again. It took you less than a year to fall in love again. Do you have to chase every petticoat and muscle? Come on. Show some standard. If you increase the distance, I would do so as well and fall head over heel in love with Princes Vivian.”

While Merlin was speaking to Sadir, he did not notice Merlin was closeby and was snorting. Sadir immediately started licking Arthur with an earnest as if apologizing for his wayward behavior.

“So, you have started talking to your dog? You thinking of bedding him if you don’t find your soulmate. He loves you.”

“Shut up, Merlin, or I will throw you in stock.”

“I was just wondering how Sadir would look like in the Queen’s chair. You will make a perfect couple.”

“Are you insinuating something?”

“Not if the shoe fits. You love him more than you love your soulmate.”

“Because my great adventurous heroic soulmate is absent and saving damsels in distress halfway across the world. Sadir is dependable. But you are going to the stocks.”

“No way. Queen Sadir would not approve.”

“Say that again and you will be in stocks for the entire day.”

Merlin pleadingly said, “Queen Sadir, please, I ask you for mercy.”

Sadir looked at Merlin and then huffed and went back to Arthur dismissing Merlin’s appeal. Merlin shouted, “My dear Queen, you have to do justice.”

The dog ignored Merlin and started licking Arthur again. Arthur laughed so hard that he forgot to enforce the punishment and Merlin gave him a loopy smile before returning to his work.

Incidentally, Arthur did fall in love with Princess Vivian. Merlin and Gaius found a cure to the love curse but in the process, Arthur was kissed by every able-bodied female and male in the castle. He also had to suffer from humiliation knowing that he craved someone from the female population of Camelot’s servants as they helped him reverse the curse.

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A year later, Arthur is forced to engage with Princess Elena. He almost married her but by mutual consent, he and the princess decide that they want to marry for love and called the marriage off.

When the marriage was called off, Merlin protested, “But, I worked so hard to set it. This is a wastage.”

Arthur quipped, “Maybe we can get some female from lower town or another servant who are desperate to marry and use this opportunity to tie their knot with you.”

“No, it is okay. Next time, I will work harder to ensure you say ‘I do.’ We cannot have the crown prince of Camelot running around without a wife. Queen Sadir disapproves. It gives Camelot a bad image The prince is still a bachelor and maybe virgin at 23.”

“Is that so, well then I can bed you and lose my virginity. Would you like that?”

Merlin glared at Arthur, “You jest, Sire. You can only lose your virginity with someone as prattish as you are. Poor old me will not be able to bolster your head. The crown will still fit if we shag. You need Mr. Hero to do the job.”

Arthur softly mumbled, “Maybe I do,” and Merlin almost missed it but then the manservant choked, “Sire, I will start dismantling these.” The manservant left the room and Arthur looked at his back concernedly. Merlin never gave up a fight and here he almost surrendered. Something fishy was going on.

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Another six months passed before Arthur realized that maybe he was infatuated with Gwen. Merlin did approve the relation and did help them get together. However, his love affair was put on a back pedestal when he and Gwen were caught by his father. Gwen was almost banished and then almost burned on the pyre. Arthur and Gwen became more discrete but it did slow down the courting.

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In the meanwhile, Arthur did manage to piece another bit of welcome information about his soulmate. His soulmate was not older than him as he feared. Someone with so many achievements must be old. But then he got a week without a deed. He almost did not realize that the week had passed and no new deed was added. Then another week passed and Arthur started worrying that maybe his soulmate was dead.

Then he had to go on a quest. He was more worried about the quest which must be completed within a time limit and thus forgot about his missing soulmate and the now missing deeds. Three weeks had passed without a deed. He was successful in completing his quest and retrieving the Fisher King’s Golden Trident. He was thus very surprised when he got a new deed, “Reclaimed the cursed land, arise thy king (22).”

This was a very confusing deed. Was his soulmate a king? There was another deed next week, “Complete the quest for the living water (22).” Arthur mostly understood nothing that was happening in his soulmate's life but he was convinced of one thing, his soulmate was two years younger than him. His latest deeds were being written on Arthur’s body. The break indicated the few weeks in which his soulmate was having a relaxing time. The best part, Arthur realized was that if his soulmate was closer to his age then they could have a dynamic where they set their own trends and not be forced into it by the age and other social constructs.  

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Another year passed in which life was not kind to them. Morgana betrayed them and was able to take over Camelot. Arthur and his merry group of men had to take Camelot back from her evil clutches. The highlight of the year was that Arthur established his round table and knighted a few commoners. But things did not lookup with his father’s health deteriorating due to Morgana’s betrayal and other pressures.

They had to deal with Dorocha and Arthur was extremely worried about Merlin who is touched by a Dorocha. Lancelot’s sacrifice saved the day. Things did not improve with another attempt on his life on his birthday.  Then he had to deal with Queen Annis when he foolishly killed King Caerleon of Caerleon. There was no break. The end of the year was rife with new tension when Merlin fell in the hands of bandits. He returned to Camelot for two days. During those two days, he acted oddly. He had a fit of jealousy over Gwen serving him breakfast and then he left again.

There was no news about Merlin after that. He had disappeared from the face of the world and no one could find him. Arthur sent patrol after patrol but each of them returned without ever finding him.

What was worse was that Sidar once again withdrew. Hee and Merlin’s Eric would leave in the morning and return late at night. While the dog still stayed with Arthur, he was no longer responsive to Arthur.   

For six months, Arthur was miserable. He had once again lost both his silent companions. He found it odd that both Merlin and Sidar decide to withdraw at the same time. For a few days, he even wondered if kind, loyal, protective, and sacrificing Merlin was his soulmate. How much did he wish that was the case? He could see his life with Merlin and it would be ..er.. fun and enjoyable. Yet, Merlin’s soulmate would not have so many deeds. His soulmate would not be crushed by the pressure placed by a heroic and adventurous soulmate.

At the end of the six months mark, since Merlin left, he returned. He refused to answer any question about his whereabouts. At the end of the week, he left again for three days. It became a new norm. Merlin would serve him for four days and then leave for three days. When he tried to put a stop to such behavior, the manservant sighed, “Sire, I am at a phase in my life when I need this time. I can only serve you for four days of the week.”

Arthur interjected, “You are my manservant. You need to serve me throughout the week.”

“I cannot. If you don’t want to deal with an absentee manservant than maybe I should resign. Currently, that is the only option I have.”

He was stoic and apathetic. Arthur told the guard to put him in the dungeon for a day and nothing happened. Nothing, Merlin’s decision did not change. In the end, Arthur relented. He did try to find out where Merlin went for the remaining three days but he was never able to follow him. His pathetic manservant was able to evade him and his best tracker men and dogs alike.

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For three years, things continued on the same trend. Merlin would serve him for four days and then leave for three. He was a bit preoccupied during this period. He was not the attentive manservant, Arthur was used too. During this time, Gwen picked up the slack.

Once again, Arthur and Gwen became closer and Arthur expressed his desire to marry Gwen. Gwen was ecstatic. Arthur knew Gwen was not his soulmate but he did not care anymore. His soulmate had found another love and moved on. Sidar had not been attentive towards him for the last four years. His soulmate was not thinking about him and so his animal was creating the distance to break the bond. Arthur pondered, if this trend continues and then is burdened with Arthur’s marriage would their soulbond would break.

During this time, Lancelot returned to Camelot. Everyone was excited to see him and Arthur promoted him and made him in charge of knights training.

Arthur also noted, that for the first time since he was eighteen, his soulmate was inactive. Now there were no more news deeds. His soulmate had reached had slowed down at twenty-six. He must be doing something else and not focusing on the adventures. Arthur missed the connection. Now he no longer knew what his soulmate was doing.   

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A month before their marriage, Gwen came to his chamber. She was sobbing. She howled, “Arthur, I made a mistake. I made a mistake. I cannot do it.”

Arthur concernedly asked, “What mistake? What happened? Did someone said something?”

“No. You don’t understand. I thought you were... we were..” she sniffed and continued, “but we are not. I cant.”

“You are not making sense. Tell me everything. I will do everything to solve whatever problem you are facing.”

“You can’t. No one can. I am doomed.”

“You are not. Now tell me everything.”

“Your pet is a dog and the marks formed a dog on my thigh. I thought you had my animal. I believed that your pet was portraying my feelings and personality. But yesterday, I saw Lancelot’s back during training. He was not wearing a shirt. It too had a dog and I read the deeds. They were my deeds. He is my soulmate. I have cursed us and him in loveless marriages and doom.”

Arthur stepped back and softly said, “I know you were not my soulmate. You had a pet dog while my mate has a dragon or some other exotic animal. I think it is a dragon and Gaius also says that it looks like one. My soulmate has settled down with someone else and thus I was moving on.”

“But my soulmate is still here. I am dooming him to a life without love. I am throwing him to the dogs for a title that I don’t desire. I really thought we were soulmates but we are not. Arthur, I cannot marry you. I cant. I am sorry.”

“Don’t be. I am glad one of us has a chance at love. I don’t. You should marry for love.”

Gwen hugged him and then apologized again before running away. Arthur sat down and started crying. For the first time in the last four years, Sidar willingly came to him and put his head on his lap sorrowfully. He was reflecting on Arthur’s sorrow and his shame. Sidar was his pet even if he was his soulmates animal. They had a bond that was deeper and beyond the bond shared by Sidar and his person.

-----------

Merlin was very extremely excited about something but he would not share anything with Arthur. He was not sharing a large part of his life with Arthur. Arthur was all alone. He did not have Merlin, Sidar, his soulmate, or even Gwen.

He was the King of Camelot but he survived on the morsels thrown to him by his loved ones. He was Lancelot’s best man. He clung to Sidar during the night which was the only time his pet sought him out. Even if Sidar was always on guard, he was not with Arthur during the day. Finally, Merlin his closest and best friend was with him three days of the week. He did not share anything personal with the king and only discussed issues of the state of Camelot with him. Their friendship was slightly strained by Merlin’s behavior but they were keeping it afloat.

--------

Arthur was twenty-nine years old. Eleven years had passed since he had his first deed. He knew that if he did not find his soul mate within the next year, the chance s of his soulmate dying would increase. There was a possibility that he would live his entire life without his mate and this thought increased his restlessness. He was having nightmares where his soulmate would die in his hands. He was agitated during the day, nervous during hunts and patrols, and disconcerted during the council.

He woke up from a bad dream. He was shaken as his soulmate felt so familiar. He knew he must get a sleeping draught from Gaius or he would not even be able to sleep at all. When he reached Gaius’ chamber, he heard two people talking. While he did not approve of eavesdropping, he was worried as it was too late for either his manservant and his physician to be up. He stood by the door and listened to their heated discussion.

“You have to tell him otherwise you will die.”

“You think I don’t know that. I know. This is my last year.”

“But why not take a chance?”

“What chance Gaius? He had already made his opinion about me explicitly clear.”

“That was years ago.”

“And you think his views have changed. Even after everything I did for him, he told me a year ago that all magic was evil. He is his father’s son.”

Arthur was stuck. Merlin had magic. How was that possible? No, No. All he could do was stand beside the door and not rush in and demand some answers.

“He is not like that and you know it. He has been hurt by magic more than anyone else.”

“And I have paid the price, Gaius. Every day, I pay the price.”

“He will accept you and your magic.”

“He will not. He will put me on a pyre and I have a few things to do before I am ready to die. I need this year.”

That was preposterous. Even when Arthur hated magic and believed magic to be the source of all things evil he knew he would never hate Merlin. He could never put him on a pyre. Never!  

“I know but you are wrong,” Gaius sternly said.

At least, Gaius had more trust in him than Merlin.

“Gaius, I am not. He called my deeds black and unworthy. He said they were evil and there is no changing his opinion once they are formed,” Merlin vehemently added.

Which of Merlin’s deed did he know about? Has Merlin found his soulmate? Did he tell Arthur any of his deed and Arthur made a joke of them? Arthur was confused.

“Not if you tell him what those deeds represent.”

“What do they represent, Gaius? I am a cruel man. I slaughtered my kind and butchered the mundane. I have no scruples. What do they represent? Once, I was an innocent boy of sixteen and within twelve years, I am jaded and evil,” Merlin snarled.

Why was Merlin calling himself evil? Merlin did not even have an evil bone. An innocent boy of sixteen? That ran a bell. There was something that he knew. Merlin came to Camelot when he was sixteen and he had been in Camelot for the last twelve years. How could he have become jaded and evil? Merlin was nothing like that.

Gaius soothed, “You are not evil and you know it. Those deeds represent your bravery, your courage, your loyalty, and your sacrifice. He has more deeds than everyone else as you were forced to become his living shield on a daily basis. Those deeds are a testament to your love for your soulmate.”

Arthur was virtually knocked back. Arthur has the most deeds. He had called his soulmate evil at one time when he was young and foolish. He had never met someone with so many deeds and thought if he was not a knight then he must be an evil person. Over the years he had thought and deliberated. He had reached the conclusion based on what he knew from the earlier years of his soulmate. He was a good man so there were chances that he had continued in the same manner and when Arthur’s deed became enigmatic, he lost the ability to interpret them. And Gaius was confirming it. The deeds on Arthur’s back were a reflection of Merlin’s loyalty and sacrifice. Oh! Oh No! Merlin was his soulmate. Why did he never know that? Why did Merlin and Gaius never told him? He had the right to know who his soulmate was and his soulmate was always next to him yet so far away. He was perplexed. He would have accepted Merlin with all his flaws even magic. Merlin was so confusing. This was so confusing.  

But why was Merlin a living shield? Why did he need one? What did Merlin have to protect him from?       

Merlin snorted, “And I die willingly for I know my soulmate hates me, and yet I have loved him for the past eleven years.”

Merlin will die rather than give Arthur a chance. Arthur was smacked. Merlin knew Arthur was his soulmate for eleven years. Merlin knew what they were from the start. How could he not? He saw the deeds on Arthur’s back and read them to Arthur. Had he not shown some extraordinary reactions to some deeds? Yes, Merlin would know and would be able to interpret his deeds. However, Merlin claimed to love him yet Merlin did not trust him. He did not trust Arthur with their relation. He did not trust Arthur with his emotions and with his heart.     

Gaius chided, “You don’t know anything. You never talked to him. You never disclosed anything to him. He just knows half-truths and he still faithfully searches for you.”

At least Gaius is making more sense than Merlin.

Merlin laughed, “He searches for a mirage. He searches for a hero when he will only find a villain. He searches for an adventurer when he would only find a reactive person. He searches for chivalry, valor, ethics, and uprightness where he would find a morally jaded warrior with no scruples and no rules other than protecting his own. He does not search for me. He will not like what he gets.”

Oh, how wrong was he. Has Arthur not dreamed and wished that Merlin was his soulmate. Maybe Merlin was not an adventurer or a hero saving damsel’s in distress but he was Arthur’s hero. How many people have shown that undying loyalty to Arthur? To save Arthur, Merlin had drunk poison, stood in front of arrows and knives without a thought about his own life, and had willingly given himself to bandits. Arthur was such a fool. Why did he never saw the selfless love in those actions which only a soulmate could have for each other?

Gaius rebuked, “You are nothing like that. Also, you do a disservice to Arthur but placing him on such a low mantle. I have seen him and I have known him. He wants his soulmate and he will cherish whatever he gets.”

All stream seemed to have left Merlin. He looked sad and vulnerable. He softly said, “But I will protect him from even myself. Maybe I am protecting myself too. You know, I am weak and pathetic. I can’t survive his rejection. I am too emotionally quartered. I am so much deeply involved with him, every fiber of my body belongs to him and if he rejects me, I will die a thousand deaths. Gaius, this is my one chance of freedom and death.”

No! No! Merlin would prefer death than tell the truth to Arthur. Was Arthur not worth a chance? Why would his soulmate not fight for him?

Gaius wilfully negated, “No! You don’t know that.”

Merlin chimed in, “I know. In a match between nature and destiny, nature will win. I love him and I know he is my soulmate while he had not found me so by laws of nature I should die. Even if by destiny, I am immortal nature will prevail. I will die. With me, all my deeds will go and he will be a blank slate. He can choose his partner and live a happy life.”

Merlin was immortal? How could that be? What destiny were they talking about? If Merlin dies, his deeds will vanish. Arthur would have unmarked skin. Arthur cringed. Even though he did not know what the deeds meant, he loved the marking on his back. He liked the idea of his soulmate with his dragon. Why did Merlin want to take it from him? Sadir would die along with Merlin. Arthur would be left alone. Did Merlin truly believe that Arthur will callously be able to get over his soulmate and start anew? Find someone new and start again. No!     

Gaius reprimanded, “It will never be what he can have with you.”

Gaius had more sense than he ever gave the old man credit for.

Merlin snarled, “You think I don’t know that? I know. I fear it every day. What if he loves me back, Gaius? What if he accepts me? What will happen if I taste him and touch him and feel him? No one will ever come close to him and then I will have to live eternity alone. No one will ever satisfy me. I will be alone forevermore.”

This thing with immortality was dooming. If Arthur accepts Merlin and then die, Merlin will be left alone. If Merlin dies, then Arthur will be left alone. One of them would have to pay the price.

Gaius sagely added, “Arthur would not willingly leave you. You have the wishes. Three wishes. You saved Arthur and returned to Sophia and her father and then you saved Elena. You killed three Sidhes residing in our realm and torturing our people. They will give you any boon you ask. They will make Arthur immortal for you. ”

What? No! He can not. When did Merlin save Elena? Why all the secrecy? Why not share his burdens with Arthur? Arthur would have accepted him and his help. He would have found a way to accept sorcery if he knew Merlin was a sorcerer.  

Merlin snarled, “You think I would ask this of him. I know I will suffer the pain alone rather than see him shed even a single tear. I will live an eternity in pain to ensure he does not suffer. I will not sell him my suffering. I will not let him see his loved ones die again and again. He will die peacefully and know no more suffering.”

“But you have the wishes. You can ask them for Arthur’s immortality and he could live with you forever. You will forever be bound.”

“And I will see Arthur suffer as his loved ones die one by one. He will see as the world will change around him without his input. He will have to suffer as the world forgets about him and his deeds. No. I will never let him bear any such pain for me. This is my destiny and if I survive, then I will face it alone.”

Arthur bristled. Merlin could have died at the end of this year if Arthur had not heard this conversation. Then Arthur would have joined him in Avalon in a few more years but now that he knows Merlin is his soulmate and he too loves Merlin, there was no chance that Merlin would die. Merlin would let Arthur die and then bear the pain alone. Like his deeds, like his actions, and like his sacrifices, Merlin would live his life of immortality alone and suffer alone. Why did he keep pushing Arthur away? Why did he treat Arthur as a damsel and someone who needs protection? Arthur would readily die for Merlin; yet, Merlin had the audacity to take over his rights, his choices and make his decision for him. He will have to teach Merlin a lesson, he resolved.     

Gaius reproached, “It is not your destiny alone. You are but one side of the coin. Without your other side, without the once and future king, you are nothing. Without you, he will be nothing. Do you really want him to be lost to time? His great future becoming a myth.”

Gaius said they were two sides of the coin. Well, that was true. They were soulmates and no one else could come between them. Again the destiny? What was this about the Once and Future King?   

Merlin laughed, “This year, I will ensure even if I am lost, Arthur fulfills his destiny. He will be protected and have the best advisors when he wants them. I will show Lancelot and Gwaine how to connect with my people and Arthur will also have help when he wants it. He will rule the mighty Albion empire. He will be the greatest ruler there ever is.”

Another decision was taken out of his hand. Merlin wants him to be the king of the entire Albion, Merlin wants him to be the greatest ruler ever and yet, Merlin was not ready to open up to him. How can he do all that without his soulmate? Well, if Merlin can not stand beside him then he would not do anything that Merlin wants from him. They were partners. They must share everything.   

Gaius tried another tactic, “What of your child?”

What child? Did Merlin have a child with someone else?

Merlin softened, “The child is my reason for hoping that I live this year. I want to see my child. He will be born in May and I will die in August. I will have a few short months with him and I am glad. He will support Arthur when he is ready or they will never face each other. This is my last year and this year, I will do my role for destiny. I will protect my people and my family. My kingdom will thrive and when Arthur calls for Albion, Morgana will step forward and take the position of his advisor. Together, they will rule across Albion.”

What did Morgana have to do with any of this? What kingdom? But then Arthur’s mind reeled. Merlin was a father of an unborn child who will be born a few short months before Merlin hoped to die. Why did Merlin want to leave misery and suffering behind? Well, he planned to die but now he would not. Now Arthur would have time to beat some sense in his wayward soulmate.  

Gaius incredulously asked, “What about the bad blood between them?”

“Arthur would settle down when he realized that Morgana has changed. She is no more the stooge that Morgause controlled. She is once again the sister Arthur had but never knew about. Morgana has her kingdom and they will not fight. Morgana can’t fight against Arthur. We had a magical agreement before we married. She will never attack Arthur and would always try to help him. In repayment, she will be the new Queen of perilous lands and her progeny will rule after her. The reason to fight has been taken away.”

Morgana is a queen. That is why no one was attacking Camelot. The peace and prosperity that he had achieved were once again partially due to Merlin’s effort. Merlin had married Morgana. No! No! Morgana can take his kingdom and his life but she had taken the one thing Arthur never wanted to share with anyone: his soulmate. She had truly gotten the better deal. She got a kingdom and Merlin: heart, body, and soul while he only had a kingdom. Why should Arthur always pay the price? Merlin was his.  

Gaius huffed, “You don’t know that?”

Merlin dreamily smiled, “I know my Morgana for the last four years. I know her and I trust her as I trust Arthur. I will place Arthur’s protection and security in her hand and die knowing that the people I love will prosper after I am gone.”

Why did he trust Morgana when he never trusted Arthur? Why was a stranger a better companion than his soulmate? Arthur was clueless. Merlin professed to love him yet he did nothing to support that statement.

At last, Gaius begged, “Merlin, I beg you. Please give Arthur one chance.”

Merlin softly claimed, “Gaius, Arthur is my life, my love, and my soulmate. I am ready to give him hundreds of chances of happiness and prosperity but I can't give him the pain being with me will cause him and I die knowing that even in my death, I am giving him a boon.”

Arthur did not need a boon, he needed Merlin. Well, now that nature had corrected the wrong and he knew his soulmate, he would get him. There was nothing that would stop Arthur now.

Arthur retreated from the door but he was smiling. It was his time to play Merlin. The King of Camelot will not lose anything and he will get his soulmate to acknowledge him.

-------------     

Over the next few weeks, Arthur planned. He spent all his time thinking about ways to open Merlin’s eyes to reality. Arthur did not hate him, neither did he hate his deeds nor his magic. Arthur loved every fiber of Merlin’s being and he would make Merlin accept that. He would live as long as Merlin would and even if he had to become an immortal, he would never let his soulmate suffer alone. Never again. They will be together forevermore. Arthur had decided and now Merlin would yield. For eleven years, Merlin had decided and prevailed on the future of their relationship but now Arthur would takeover until Merlin yields. Then they will become true partners and they will move from there. The two sides of the coin deciding their future together as they should always have done so.

Arthur smiled at his ingenuity. It was so easy but he had to convince his wayward mate that their future is linked for a reason and neither of them alone should or could thwart it. But first, he has to play Merlin for the next six months as he played his king for the previous eleven years.

------------

Arthur now turned his ire to the faithless Sadir. The mongrel who was his shadow as long as Merlin was dedicated to him and then as soon as Merlin looked at someone Sadir would become aloof. He cornered Sadir the night after he heard Merlin’s and Gaius' discussion. He pulled him in a hug and softly crooned in his ears, “You big idiot. I should have known. You were giving me all the clues yet I was oblivious for years. You were always like Merlin and the two of you geld in so well. You were the same person. How could I have not seen it? Are you laughing at me, you dolt? I am sorry. I am. I should not have been so oblivious but I have to accept that Merlin is not a fool and can keep secrets. I always thought he was an idiot and could not lie to save his life. Yet, he lied daily to save his life and mine.”

The giant schnauzer barked excitedly and licked Arthur’s face. Arthur laughed “Now, none of that. You and my mate had caused me eleven years of grief and I will get my due. I will make both of you pay for your foolhardiness. You think that the King of Camelot is a toy whose affections don’t matter. When you want you will become his companions, win his heart, and then throw him away like yesterday’s trash. Well, you cant. Nor can Merlin. I love you and I love Merlin. Oh, oh! Merlin was giving me a clue. So, you are indeed Queen Sadir, well not exactly a queen but let us say King Consort Sadir. How could I have been so blind.”

Arthur huffed and the dog danced around the room excitedly. Arthur continued sarcastically, “Let me take my revenge on your person, then I will officially change your name to Queen Sair. You deserve it. After all the heartbreak you have caused me.”

The dog playfully whined and then put his head deeper in Arthur’s lap. Then Arthur sternly commanded, “Sadir, I order you never to leave me again. I will make sure you and your man stay alive after this year and you will be forever mine. I will not let Merlin think of anyone else ever again. You have my word for it. You and Merlin belong to me as I belong to you. There is no changing this part of destiny.”

Sadir seriously nodded his head in acceptance and then licked Arthur’s hand in a promise. Arthur had achieved the first milestone. Even if Merlin is tied to Morgana, Sadir will always be by his side. No one can break the soulbond that he had with Merlin and Sadir was the physical representation of that bond. With Sadir at his side, he knew Merlin would always be his.

----------------

The next thing was to figure out a few of Merlin’s secrets. And the primary amongst them was to find out what was Merlin’s true pet. Eric the dog belonged to Merlin as Arthur owned numerous horses, dogs, and birds. But there was only Sadir that was his true pet. Nothing could compare to Sadir. So, where was Arthur’s animal and Merlin’s true pet hiding?

Well, if he found out about Merlin’s secret at night, then he would follow Merlin every night. Now he will become Merlin’s silent shadow.

A week after the fateful eavesdropping session, Arthur followed Merlin when he was getting out of the castle. It was the second day Merlin was back from where ever he spent his three days with Morgana, so Arthur knew that his exercise was not as secretive. Merlin was not leaving so he would not be wary of trackers. Why had Arthur never bothered to find out what Merlin did when he was with Arthur? Yeah, why would he? Merlin had never been interesting and adventurous. Yeah, Merlin was wrong. He was pretty adventurous. Leaving the castle once everyone was asleep and bypassing the guards as if there was no security on the castle door. Not many of his knights could achieve that and Merlin made it look so easy. That is what eleven years of practice does, he could do stuff that filled others with horror.

Arthur kept following Merlin into the forest which was surrounding the eastern section of Camelot’s walls and providing natural protection from evasion. They walked for fifteen minutes before Merlin sat down on the forest floor and spoke in a guttural language. Arthur kept his eyes on Merlin but unlike Merlin, he did not ease up. He was fully alert and waiting for danger.

Five minutes later, a dragon who was somewhat bigger than a dog flew down and sat next to Merlin. Arthur looked at his animal and sighed. So, Merlin did indeed keep in touch with his pet.

Merlin did not try to pet it and simply said, “Hi, Prat.”

To Arthur bafflement, the dragon spoke, “I hate that nickname.”

“And you know why you have it,” Merlin jokingly asked.

Arthur was extremely interested in knowing why he and his animal shared the same nickname.

The dragon chided, “How could I not? You knew who your soulmate was before I approached you. You are evil so you took your revenge on my person.”

Merlin reprimanded, “There was no revenge.”

“Was there not? You named me after his most obvious attribute.”

Merlin seriously said, “Pratzillah is a perfectly fine name.”

He named my animal, ‘Pratzillah’. What does that even mean?

The dragon laughed, “It may be if your other pets were given horrific names.” Then he turned to the other animals who had gathered around Merlin, “Eric,” his said pointing to the dog,  “Jacob,” he pointed toward a cat,  “Jena,” he pointed towards a falcon on the tree branch “and Timur” pointing towards the fully grown lion perched next to Merlin, “are perfectly fine names. Look at my man who gave his pet such a majestic name, Sadir. He knew, even then, you would be a leader and gave his pet that beautiful name.”

Merlin mockingly said, “Well, I knew you would be a prat like him. I had known him for two years when you came in my life. And to be honest, you have been a prat to me for ten years. I had come to accept your obliviousness and your distances.”

Arthur tried to accept that Merlin had known Arthur was his soulmate before he even got his first deed or even his pet. Even then in the last eleven years, he made no move.

“I hate you,” the dragon huffed.

“Yes, I know that and even then I loved you,” Merlin beamed at the dragon while running a hand over the lions mane.

“That is what I hate the most about you.”

“What?”

“That you love me but don’t love me enough,” the Pratzillah seriously said.

Arthur knew that emotion. Was he not trying to come to the same realization. Merlin loved him and would do anything for him but would never tell him the truth about himself.

Merlin laughed, “I love you just fine. I will do anything for you. I even found you a mate.”

The dragon heatedly said, “Yes, you did. I would have been the last of my kind after Kilhgharrah but you found me Aithusa. Will you be finding my man a mate as well.”

Merlin concernedly said, “If you think I should, then I will find him one. No one should be alone.”

The beast snorted, “Yes, you believe that. Yet, you have left my man alone again and again.”

Merlin now sounded offended, “You think it was easy for me?”

“I don’t know. You left with Freya. You were gone for a few months. You did not even take me with you nor did you call me to you. You not only left my man but you also left me.”

Arthur wondered who this Freya was. She must be the one for whom Merlin and Sadir left Arthur for the first time. Arthur was shocked to know that Merlin had also left his pet behind.

Merlin morosely said, “Well, what can I say? Your man told me that he was done with his soulmate. Freya was my chance of happiness.”

The dragon quietly asked, “Merlin, if I ask you one question, would you answer it honestly?”

Merlin now sounds offended, “I always give you honest answers.”

“If Freya had not died in childbirth, would you have returned to Arthur?”

Freya died in childbirth. That is why Merlin was so despondent when he returned. He was not himself.

Merlin huffed, “I would have. I can't live without Arthur even if he can.”

How dense can Merlin be? Arthur was desperate and lonely without Merlin and Sadir.

The dragon questioned angrily, “How do you know? How many times has he naturally fallen in love?”

Merlin confusedly said, “How can I tell? You were always aloof and distant. I know you love me but it is a gut feeling through which I live. But do I have any certainty? No. Until last month, I did not exist for you and your man. I was there, I was his manservant and your master but honestly tell me, did either of you saw me. Sadir was Arthur’s shadow. I was Arthur’s shadow but neither you nor Arthur ever gave me any indication that I existed. So, how could I tell if you have moved on or were trying to break the bond? Sadir gives Arthur enough signal but you never were consistent to give any signal.”

The dragon snared, “That is not true.”

Merlin offhandedly said with a sad certainty that shook Arthur, “It is. Every night I would come out to the forest. I would meet my pets. I would play with them. Sometimes you would come at other times you would stay away. Sometimes you would sit at a place which was close enough for me to touch you but mostly you would sit beyond my reach. Prat, I know you are reflecting your master. He believes that he should keep a distance from me. He is there but always out of reach. I don’t mind. I understand.”

Prat tried to negate, “You don’t understand.”

However, Merlin ignored him, “I do. I do understand prat. You may be my pet but I am insignificant in the great scheme of things.”

The dragon laughed, “Yes, as if you can be insignificant. The great Merlin whose coming has been foretold. Whose has more deeds than all the Kings of Albion combined.”

Merlin forcefully hissed, “But I am!. I am insignificant to the two beings who should have loved me. All my deeds are for naught, if I cant have Arthur and you. For ten years, you have done a pretty good number on me. Now please don’t change, Prat. I am tired and I would like this misery and unrequited longing to end. You know how difficult it is to love someone who does not want anything from you. I want him but he doesn’t want me. I wanted to touch you, pet you, snuggle with you but you did not want anything. I can have the world but not the two I desire. It is unfair.”

Merlin looked sad and broken. Arthur wanted to run to him and collect him in his arms but that was not so. He could not. He still had to learn much about his mate and he needed to ensure that Merlin understood that they are equal partners in this relationship.

The dragon shouted, “You idiot! You don’t understand. Arthur is the courage and brain of this relationship while you are the heart and strength of this bond.”

“Okay.”

“No. I speak the truth.”

Merlin sarcastically said, “If you say so.”

Now the dragon sarcastically said, “Well, I may be wrong. You are the heart of this relationship, the one who filled it with selfless love. Yet, you are the one who fell in love with three others. You are the one who deserted the relation thrice.”

Merlin confusedly asked, “Thrice?”

The dragon nostalgically said, “Well, the third time was with Gwaine, Arthur made a fool out of himself in front of you and you just forgot about Gwaine.”

Gwaine as in Sir Gwaine. Merlin fell in love with him. That man was a drunk and a womanizer. How could someone like Merlin even think about Gwaine?

The sorcerer persisted, “Well, then Gwaine doesn’t count.”

“But he does. He was my man’s biggest threat. Freya was magical, oppressed and you saw a chance with him. She died in childbirth and you came back. Morgana was your redemption. Until she became pregnant, you held no love for Morgana. She was a project to save a good person. Your marriage was of convenience. She was also magical and thus you could relate with her. As opposed to Freya and Morgana, Gwaine was Arthur’s true competition. He did not have magic. He lived in Camelot and you would have left Arthur for someone who would be closeby. Soon you would have fallen in love with him and then settled. You are heart, you would not have separated sex and love. If you had continued down the slope, there was nothing that Arthur could have done. You would have killed him.”

Put like that Sir Gwaine was indeed a threat. Arthur would have to ensure that Gwaine stayed away on patrol for some time once he made his move on Merlin.

Merlin negated, “No! I would never have done that to Arthur. Maybe, we would have shifted to Gwaine’s estate.”

The beast haughtily said, “Yes, so you would have left. Condemning Arthur to a loveless life.”

Merlin offhandedly said, “Maybe! Arthur would have found someone and settled down. But nothing happened.”

But the beast persisted, “Yes because Arthur showed you that he cared.”

Merlin smiled, “Yes, in eleven years that was the only time he indicated that he might want me and might love me regardless. I know he wants his soulmate.”

Did Merlin not saw everything else? Even when Arthur knew Merlin was not his soulmate, he longed for Merlin. Well, Arthur was an idiot. He knew Merlin was his soulmate but he was not ready to accept the truth and accept that sweet innocent Merlin was any different. That is the only reason he had never made a move on Merlin.

“Wow, Merlin. You are his soulmate.”

“He does not want me.”

The dragon shouted, “That is because you have given him half-truths. He does not know you. You want his full acceptance but you are not ready to trust him with your essence.”

Merlin was at the end of his patience as he softly said, “Prat, I have had enough. I liked you better when you were sitting over there and not being so sagacious.”

“Merlin, this is not funny.”

“It is. I have known you for nine years. I know you prefer to stay away so do that. Don’t come into my space now. I have attained peace with this decision. I have taken care of your future. I have taken care of Arthur’s future. I have tried to create a secure place for my wife and child. I am content. You will be happy. I do not doubt it. Aithusa and Kilgharrah promised they will help you through the hard time.”

“Do you think this is about me?”

“Is it not?”

“No. I love you.”

Merlin now dangerously hissed, “Prat. Enough. I am in enough pain because of you and your man. Don’t throw knives at me know.”

How will the fool accept that Arthur really loves everything about him? Well, a simple declaration of love would be tossed over. So, he must do something big.

The dragon stepped back and changed the topic, “Well, I want to ask for a favor.”

“What is it?”

“I want to meet my man before you die.”

“Not possible.”

“Then after you die.”

Merlin quietly said, “That I can arrange. I will tell Gaius to bring Arthur to you.”

Well if his animal wants to meet him and maybe give him some advice, who was Arthur to ignore it. Thankfully his animal could speak and Arthur would make the most of it.

“Thank you, Merlin.”

Merlin softly said, “Prat, you know I love you.”

Now the dragon showed his disbelief, “Yes, I know you love me. You love me for four days but three days are yours when you forget about me and Arthur.”

Merlin seriously said, “Is it so bad? For three days, I am my own man. I am not tethered to a failed relationship. I am not miserable with the thoughts of my soulmate lightening the pyre himself.”

The fool! How could he even believe that Arthur would let any harm befall him let all kill him personally?  

“Well, that is new.”

Merlin shook his head, “No. The newest one was when you came and lighted the pyre as you believed with your man.”

The dragon dangerously said, “Merlin?”

“Yes.”

“I may not show it or say it but I love you.”

Merlin again repeated his request, “Prat, please don’t. Not now. We just have to go through another couple of months. I will be gone for three months when my child is born. I will come back for a month and then I would leave a month before Arthur turns thirty to die peacefully. So, please bear with me for the next two months but if you try this bullshit with me again, I promise, I will stop coming here.”

The dragon rushedly inquired, “What of your other pets?”

Merlin smilingly said, “They are your responsibility.”

“And how do you know I will handle this responsibility.”

“Because I know you would. You are a good dragon and your man is a good person. I trust in you guys.”

The dragon proudly said, “I will take care of them. I would have even if you had not said so. I am sure Arthur will take care of everyone you love. Gaius, Lancelot, Gwaine, Gwen, and your other friends.”

“Thanks, Prat.”

“Merlin if only you trusted us with yourself as well. You trust s with the world but why are you different.”

Merlin softly said, “I have been with you for too long. I see the softness if you. I see the goodness in you. But I also see the evil in myself. If I was innocent and naïve, I would have thrown myself at you. But I can't. I am not what you deserve or desire.”

“Merlin!”

“Yes,”

“Would you cuddle me if I come close.”

Merlin smiled, “Prat, come here you goofy thing. I told you I love you. Nothing is going to change that. You will always have my heart even if you stand far and never come close.”

The dragon tried, “I wanted to but..”

Merlin kissed the snout of the dragon and said, “I understand. You are a reflection of your man who does not see me. Don’t worry. Soon, he will see someone. He will be a clean slate and will have another chance of love.”

The dragon flew away mostly in anger and Merlin started playing with his other animals.

--------------

Arthur was now on continuous guard. He had found out that Merlin left the castle in the middle half of the night. Everyone was asleep and it was easier for him to sneak around. He followed Merlin in some of his trips but Prat and Merlin never had any more soulful discussions. Pratzillah was trying to get closer to Merlin but Merlin was holding his shields. He was not ready to give the dragon the chance. Arthur knew Prat was miserable. How could he not be? Arthur himself was miserable? He had spent eleven years looking for his soulmate only to find out that the said mate was not ready to give him a chance.

After detailed discussions with Gaius and Geffory along with an in-depth analysis of everything written on soulmates, Arthur knew that now that he knew and he loved his soulmate, Merlin would not die. Nature required that the soulmates try their utmost to find their other half even if they do not speak about it. Both the parties should know who their other half is within twelve years of receiving their first deed. If they fail this sacred duty to nature, then they will pay a price and the only person who can selflessly and unconditionally love them would be forfeit. Once both parties knew their other half, nature gave them the freedom to act on it or naught. So, he was a hundred percent sure that Merlin would not die.

His next move was to plan a gesture that would weaken all Merlin’s arguments to their combined destiny. He had a few ideas but they were taking time to implement and he was uncertain of the duration in which they would be completed.

A few weeks after Arthur overheard the first discussion between Prat and Merlin, he hit another jackpot. As usual, Arthur followed Merlin, but this time not one but three dragons landed in front of Merlin. One of the dragons looked like the Great Dragon, the one he gave a mortal wound to according to Merlin. Well, there were so many secrets and half-truths, how could he tell which of them were lies and which were actual truths.

So, once again Arthur sat down to eavesdrop on another discussion.

“So, you called again, young warlock,” the great dragon asked.

“I wanted to meet for a final time. I was going to leave Camelot in a week. I will be gone for the next three months. I would appreciate it if all of you can be on the lookout for trouble.”

The great dragon roared, “So, you are still going to go on with your idiotic idea.”

Merlin apologetically said, “Kilgharrah, there is nothing idiotic about my idea. It is perfectly fine.”

The Great Dragon has a name, ‘Kilgharrah’. Why did no one ever tell this to Arthur?

“No, it is not. Destiny will not be thwarted by such childish games.”

Merlin hissed, “You think this is a childish game? I am making a life and death decision and you call it childish.”

The great dragon bellowed, “Yes, indeed. Your life is controlled by destiny. You can’t thwart it. You must stand beside the Once and Future King. Without one, the other is useless.”

Merlin pleaded, “But I am leaving him a huge support base. I am sure he will excel. He does not even know I exist.”

The dragon boomed, “That is because you chose to never tell him of your existence.”

Merlin was getting angry now, “Then he will hate me.”

The dragon astutely said, “A heart can not hate what makes it whole. It is just your fear of rejection. He can never hate you. He may be angry temporarily but he will seek you out.”

Merlin angrily countered, “Well, I don’t believe that. I know Arthur for longer. He is his father’s son. He will never accept sorcery and magic. He believes them to be inherently evil. Kilgharrah, I am tired. I cannot continue from the shadows. I am living a dual life. A despised manservant for four days and a beloved king for three days. There is no future for me. One day my two loyalties will call me at the same time and I will have to choose. Who will I be if I choose Arthur over my family or vice versa? I am better dead than alive to anyone. Morgana will rule fairly and my kingdom and family will prosper. Arthur will find someone who can truly be there for him and he will prosper. Camelot and Albion will come to pass under Arthur and Morgana. I will not be needed.”

Kilgharrah huffed, “Young Warlock, dream on. I will not waste my time discussing hypotheticals with you. I will return in six months. You will see that destiny will hold supreme.” The great Dragon flew away in a huff.

The youngest of three dragons, a white dragon spoke, “Father, don’t worry but I hope he is correct. I don’t want to lose you.”

Father? Did Merlin sire a dragon? How is that possible? But then he remembers one of the deeds on his back, “Sired a dragon (26)”. He had laughed at the deed and called his soulmate delusional and evil. Unfortunately, Merlin was there when he was on his monologue.  

Merlin softly said, “Aithusa, you are one of the loves of my life. I entrust you with Prat. Never make him feel alone. I also give you one of my wishes. When Arthur is ready to die, request the Sidhe to give Prat years that he can stand beside you and you have a fulfilling life and future.”

Aithusa shouted, “Father, you cant.”

Merlin sternly said, “I can and I will. Those wishes are not worth anything to me. I plan to give one to Arthur and one to my son. As my daughter, you have the right to one wish.”

Prat confusedly asked, “What will my man do with a magical wish?”

Merlin softly said, “If he is ever in need of help, it will be available to him. I will not leave him unprotected.”

Prat curiously asked, “How will you give him the wish?”

“Well, I will just write him a letter explaining how to use it. It will be my last gift to him.”

Aithusa asked, “You think he will accept?”

Merlin shrugged, “He may or may not. I hope he never faces a crisis that he has to use the wish.”

Then Aithusa stepped forward and asked, “Father, can I have a promise?”

Merlin gave her a goofy smile, “Anything apart from asking me to change the decision?”

“Then spend your last day with your family?”

The warlock beamed, “That is certainly possible. I will love to spend my last day in the company of my loved ones.”

Arthur had ensured that Merlin will not die. Now he also knew what he needed to convince Merlin to stay with him.

------------------

True to his word Merlin disappeared a week later. The first thing Arthur did was to start the process of legalizing magic in Camelot. On the first day, he opened the topic to his council, he also proclaimed that the death penalty on the use of magic has been abolished. He got mixed reviews with the younger council members aggressively against such an action. This was one thing he wanted and he will get it. He was the king and he will get this gift for Merlin.

Gaius gave him a lopsided smile during his speech and was his biggest idea champion followed by Sir Lancelot and Sir Gwaine. Gaius, Gwaine, and Lancelot put their entire energy behind this project and were spending al their time to convince the masses, nobles, and knights of the benefits of such a move.

A week after Merlin left, Arthur asked Sadir, “Sadir can you lead me to Pratzillah.”

The dog looked at Arthur for some time and then nodded. Arthur followed the dog to the eastern forest and then waited calmly once the dog started barking. Fifteen minutes later, Prat appeared. He smiled at Sadir and then he noticed Arthur. Rather than welcoming Arthur, the dragon released fire from his nostrils, “You must be the ass, Arthur.”

“You can't talk to me like that.”

“Why can’t I? You have made my life miserable?”

“How have I made your life miserable?”

The dragon angrily said, “Let's start with my name which is the reflection of your most dominant personality trait and I agree with it. You and I are prats.”

“But we are not. At least not all the time.”

“You think Merlin would give us a moment of the day if we were bigger prats than we are?”

“Maybe he would.”

The dragon softly said, “Yeah, he loves us and will stick to us no matter his personal feelings.”

“What else?”

“Well, do you know how difficult it is to sit on the side, outside Merlin’s reach while he coddles other animals. I could never be in the group as you were always oblivious and standoffish. Even when I hated it, I had to stay away from him. Why did you keep him away? You would never have found someone better than him? He is and will be the best thing that ever happened to you.”

Arthur puffed, “You think I don’t know that. He is the best. He had so many friends. He was my best friend; yet, he was more friendly and freer with them than he could ever be with me.”

The dragon blew, “What is the purpose of declaring love now when he will soon be dead?”

“Oh, Merlin will not die. I will not let anything happen to him.”

“Then why did it take you twelve years to find him. He was always with you. Just look at Sadir and you will know who your mate is.”

Arthur apologetically said, “I was oblivious and chained down by expectations. I never thought my mate would be a servant. It was hard for me to keep my distance from him. I had to stay away; yet, I wanted to be with him. I always told him that we can never be friends but he is my only and best friend.”

The dragon contritely said, “Well, I was supposed to be his pet but I was always aloof. A pet needs love and care yet I always stayed away. I suffered because you did not care.”

King remorsefully said, “I cared. I just did not take the final step. I was always bogged down by expectations.”

“Yeah, expectations that have hurt your mate and my owner the most. It is on your soul. Even if he forgives you, I will not.”

“I can’t forgive my self. I am the reason that pure-hearted and selfless Merlin had started seeing himself as an evil being.”

The dragon said, “You always wanted someone to share your responsibility. To be there with you. Merlin shared more than half your responsibility and you have shared none of his. You made him feel evil for his side of the help in protecting you and Camelot. This is so not done.”

Arthur pondered over the statement for a few moments and then gulped, “That is true. He shared more than half of the responsibility.”

The dragon snarled, “You were thoughtless and careless. For twelve years your soulmate was with you and you did not see him. He called himself insignificant because you don’t care for him and I could not because you wanted to stay aloof.”

“I did not want to hurt him,” Arthur rationalized, “By staying away, I was protecting him from myself and all the wolves in my  court.”

The dragon scolded, “Merlin did not need your protection. He wanted your love. He wanted my company. You kept both of them away. You hurt him to the extent that your soulmate was looking for chances elsewhere. He ran away with a dangerous bastet. He courted and married Morgana. All this is because you refused to see what was in front of you. Your callousness to him and your obliviousness to his pain and sacrifices.”

Arthur tried to give an excuse, “He never shared anything with me?”

Prat laughed, “That is a lie. You discounted his pain and suffering, you ignored his warnings, you treated him like a fool, you chipped at any power he gained and you deliberately ignored his contributions. You know many of his deeds; yet, you never acknowledged him. Why should he share more just to be ignored?”

“I never ignore him,” the King steamily said.

The dragon persisted, “No, we never ignore him. We must keep him close but he is never a priority. Why is he still a servant after eleven years of loyal service when others have been promoted and elevated?”

King regretfully said, “I did not want him away from me. I feared if I elevate him, he would leave.”

The beast roared, “As if he would leave. You never cared for him still he stayed with you. In eleven years you never showed him you cared. He did not get any perks or benefits. His contributions were ignored and mostly not even acknowledged publically. I don’t know why he believes in you but my own belief in you have dwindled.”

Arthur shamefully said, “He does not trust me.”

“And he should not,” Prat scornfully said, “He has paid the price. If I was not losing him, I would have insisted he stay away from you. You are toxic to him.”

“Why did you want to meet me?” the king asked.

“To kill you. I don’t want to live once Merlin is gone. You and I are not worth it.”

Arthur confidently said, “Nothing will happen to Merlin?”

“Oh, you think so. Well, good for you. I believe he will not come back.”

“He said he will always return,” Arthur queried.

The dragon shook his head, “But now he will have a son and a person who has fully committed to him. I can feel my bonds weakening with Merlin as we speak. The birth of a son will considerably reduce the strength of our bond. If Merlin acknowledges his bond with Morgana and they have another child, our bond will snap.”

“No! No, I will not let that happen. I will force Merlin to return. He must return,” the king pleaded.

The dragon snorted, “There is no certainty with him now. I have seen him with Aithusa. Merlin loves his children fiercely. Merlin’s son will own him. Whoever has the child will own him.”

Arthur miserably asked, “So, I have already lost?”

The dragon clarified, “No. You have not but you can. We are at a point of inception. The dragons and seers have seen two futures from here. It all depends on your decision.”

“What depends on my decision?”

“Everything,” the dragon said as he flew away, “Everything depends on your decision. Make a decision that will make Merlin proud.”

Arthur returned home more confused than he had left earlier.

----------------

Over the last two month’s Arthur had pushed for the laws to make Magic legal in Camelot. He was sure that he would be able to legalize magic by the time his birthday comes up.

Merlin did return but this time he was only working for three days and leaving for four. Prat was right. Merlin was owned by his child and the warlock was extremely preoccupied even when he was with Arthur. The days with Arthur were looking like a burden to the sorcerer and the King could not believe it. His soulmate was finding it hard to spend time with him.

Two weeks before his birthday, when he was in council and Merlin was away, Lord Bridge stood up and said, “Sire, the Queen of the magical country of Ealorfish wants to visit Camelot. She would like to visit in two weeks.”

This would go beautifully with my plans to legalize magic on my birthday, so I readily asked Lord Bridge to send a confirmation, “This would be an honorable moment for Camelot. We would legalize magic and form alliances with other magical countries. Tell her we would appreciate it if she could celebrate my birthday with us.”

It was surprising that no one could tell him the name of the royal family of Ealorfish or where Ealorfish was situated, not even lord Geffory. Lord Gefforey hypothesized, “My lord, Ealorfish must be the new name of one of the three countries in the North which had been suffering from internal turmoil and change of leadership.”

Arthur was worried that Merlin would hear rumors which will spoil all his plans but Merlin being extra-preoccupied helped. He was so busy with something that he did not even have time for Gaius or anyone else of his friends. He spent a longer portion of the three nights with the animals and then he would spend hours casting spells and writing strange symbols on the outer walls of the citadel. It took him nine days to finish the walls and a few other critical points like the gate.

By then everyone was awaiting the arrival of Ealorfish’s royalty. Merlin came to wake Arthur up but the King was already up, “Sire, you are already up. I bought breakfast. The castle staff is already abuzz.”

“Yes, you know we have a foreign dignitary visiting us.”

“Well, yes. I have heard. Some country in the north, eh? But how is it different from all the other visits. People are so confusing.”

“Anyway, I will dress you up, and then I have to collect some herbs for Gaius so I will be away for most of the day. If you need anything, George will be closeby.”

Arthur nodded. He was slightly concerned about Merlin’s thick-headedness but his attention was on the visit from the royal family of Ealorfish so he let it go.

A few hours later when he was sitting in his council room, a messenger came to him from the Queen of Ealorfish.

“King of Camelot, Arthur Pendragon, before I and the rest of the royal family of Ealorfish enter Camelot we need your personal protection. Will you Arthur Pendragon personally vouch for our safety while we are within your walls?”

It was an odd request but given Camelot’s position on magic, it made perfect sense. He accepted to personally look after the royal family. He called his most trusted knights of the round table and gave them the duty to guard the royal family at all times.

An hour later, the royal entourage entered Camelot. There were only five knights and two carriages. The Queen came out of the first carriage with her son in her hands. She moved towards Arthur and when she was close enough, she removed her veil.

“Morgana,” Arthur sternly said. The people were taken aback and the knights were drawing their swords.

“King Arthur,” she curtsied.

Arthur sighed and bowed, “Queen Morgana of Ealorfish. Welcome to Camelot.”

Morgana moved forward and kissed his cheeks and softly whispered, “I am sorry for the past. I hope this visit will change things.”

“Are you sure?” Arthur softly asked.

“I am hoping so. There is much you need to know and too little time.” Morgana whispered.

Then Arthur led her to her old rooms. He wanted to meet Merlin’s son but Morgana had kept him close.

Merlin was not seen for the entire day. After the feast welcoming Morgana,  Arthur checked but Merlin had not returned to his room. The next morning George woke Arthur and Arthur’s mood plummeted. After breakfast, Arthur met Morgana in the council room. Morgana answered many questions about Ealorfish and her husband, Emrys. Arthur knew most of those things by eavesdropping on Merlin’s conversations with his dragon.

Arthur noticed that throughout the day, Morgana steadfastly held onto her son. She only gave her son to the nursemaids when they were alone. She was extremely protective of her son.       

At night, the two of them had dinner together. Many knights and guards were standing inside the room.

Morgana said, “Arthur, I trust every man I bought in this room with my child’s life.”

Arthur looked around and then called Leon and whispered in his room to get more knights of the round table to serve the dinner and guard the room. He told him to ask everyone else to leave the room. Once the room was clear, he looked expectantly at Morgana.

She looked at every face in the room and then nodded. She stood up and presented her son to Arthur, “My lord, I would like you to meet your nephew, Henry.”

“My nephew?” Arthur asked.

“Come on Arthur, we are siblings. We are brother and sister. My son will be your nephew.”

Arthur took the child in his arms with a longing. The child was not just his nephew he was the son of his soulmate. He was Arthur’s son in a way too.

Arthur kissed his cheek and cooed at him. The child looked back at him with Merlin’s eyes. Arthur held onto the child throughout the dinner. They made light conversation. Morgana regaled him with tales of Henry’s exploits. The two months child was very demanding and did not like it when Arthur was not giving him his full attention.

At the end of the dinner, Arthur reluctantly handed Henry back to Morgana but immediately issued the request that Morgana and Henry breakfast with him. Morgana beamed and readily agreed.

--------------

Merlin was not back by the end of the week and Arthur was getting worried. His days took a new trend. He would have all his meals with Morgana and Henry. His knights would guard the room. Then he would spend a part of the day in the council room convincing his lords about legalizing magic. During the council sessions, Morgana gave her input and made suggestions. She gave them anecdotal evidence to support her views. She was running a magical country and was leading a soaring population of sorcerers. She knew how to deal with them and what type of laws were effective and what laws were ineffective.

It was difficult for people of Camelot to accept Morgana and many were on their toes around her. Arthur had no such qualm. He knew Merlin had helped Morgana. This change in Morgana was due to Merlin’s giving nature. He knew that she was Merlin’s wife and thereby his soulbond was compromised for her to revert back to her old self. He would trust Morgana with his life.

After three days, Morgana said, “Arthur, I need your help.”

“How can I help you?”

“There are somethings that you don’t know. They affect the future. They affect me, my husband, and my son.”

Arthur calmly replied, “I know more than you think.”

“These things are very personal.”

“I know. This is about Merlin.”

She nodded. We understood each other.

“You know that he is a warlock?”

“Yes, though I don’t know what a warlock is. I thought he was a sorcerer until a dragon referred to him as warlock.”

“So, you met Kilgharrah?”

“I did not meet him but I eavesdropped on their conversation.”

“Oh! Well, good for you. A warlock is born with magic while a sorcerer learns magic. I am a witch; I was born with magic. My dreams were my first outlet. Henry also is a warlock.”

Arthur noted how tightly she clung to Henry as she told him that his nephew and almost-son was born with magic.

Arthur quietly said, “I expected that. I am changing the rules for his father. Henry will always be welcome in Camelot.”

Morgana sighed happily, “Arthur, I am dying. Years of dark magic made me vulnerable to love. When Merlin brought me to sanity, we knew this could happen. For three years we resisted and took every precaution but then I got pregnant. Merlin was excited and sobbing with happiness when I told him the news. Then he controlled his emotions and said, ‘Morgana, we can’t have the baby. Your life is more important to me than any child.’ I knew then that I will bring this child into this world. Merlin was so selfless and he was giving me a way out. I continued with the pregnancy and by the time Merlin noticed it was too late. He was really angry. Over the last year, Merlin has been trying to find a way to break the curse.”

Arthur demanded, “What curse?” He was shocked by the revelation.

Morgana explained, “When I opened the veil, I cursed myself. When I fall in love, my life force will drain. The more I love the shorter life I will have. As soon as I held Henry in my arms, I fell in love with him. I am draining. I am losing my energy and power. My magic will be first to go and then my body. I cannot stop loving Henry and I will die soon.”

Arthur concernedly said, “There must be a way to break the curse.”

Morgana negated, “There might be one but Merlin has not found it yet.”

“I will help Merlin find a cure. You can have access to all the resources from Camelot.”

“Thank you but Merlin has already read every book in your vaults. They do not have the answer.”

“We can ask for help from other countries.”

“My advisors and people from Ealorfish are doing so as we speak. I don’t have much hope in it. I know I will die. But I am not worried about myself, ” she clarified.

Arthur incredulously said, “You are not?”

Morgana straightened and shook her head, “No, but I am worried about my bundle of joy. Poor Henry may lose both his parents soon.”

Arthur confidently said, “He will not lose any of his parents.”

“That is what I hope for but I was worried. If you did not know about Merlin being your soulmate, his days were numbered.”

“I would not let anything happen to Merlin.”

Morgana perceptively said, “You can say that but things are not always easy. Merlin is always in the deep of things. He can die any day protecting you, me, Henry, Camelot, or Ealorfish. He has made himself a living shield and we are prospering because of the freedom he provides us. But it makes him more susceptible and vulnerable. He can die.”

“He is immortal,” Arthur cried.

Morgana hissed, “He is but the fool has no sense. Many things can kill an immortal. You remember the Questing Beast?” when Arthur nodded, she continued, “A bite from questing beast can kill an immortal. Then a sword forged in dragon’s fire can kill any immortal.” The color drained from Arthur’s face and Morgana nodded, “You see, he has given you the instrument to kill him. He trusts you that much but what is stopping someone from using such a sword against him. I know the existence of ten such swords but eight are with their guardians and two with their rightful owners. So, they are not such a big issue. Then there are some instruments from the old religion that block power and magic. Emrys is magic, if someone tries one of the older more powerful chains to control him, he would die. In the past, others have tried to control him with cold iron and they were partially successful but now he has matured and he would not feel cold iron. But the true binders from old religion would drain him. He will be dead in a day or two after such a binding.”

Arthur was turning white with tension, Morgana took pity on him “You get the gist. Merlin can die. The more he protect us from our foolishness, the more chances there are that he can die. Not everyone can kill him but someone desperate can find a way to off him.”

Arthur immediately asked, “What can we do?”

Morgana placidly said, “I have placed spies in all the courts of Albion. I have sent people loyal to me and Emrys to the Isle of the blessed. They will find such instruments and destroy them. I have also invited other powerful beings to join my court. The more people who believe in Merlin, the more support he will have at his time of need.”

Arthur nodded in understanding and softly said, “Thank you.”

Morgana persisted with her initial thought, “But these measures may not be enough. Henry can still lose Merlin. I don’t want to leave my child an orphan.”

Arthur forcefully said, “I will make sure Merlin survive and be there for Henry.”

Morgana shook her head, “You can’t. Merlin will sacrifice himself for us. There is nothing you can do for him. He is as much a sacrificing fool as you are a prat.”

Arthur defeatedly asked, “Then, what are you saying?”

“I want you to foster Henry. Become his other dad. By your relationship with Merlin, you are already his dad and your relationship with me give him your blood. He is almost your son. Raise him as your own. Raise him with Merlin.”

Arthur could not believe it. He was being offered the world on a silver platter. His deepest desires were being fulfilled but he could not help confirming. “Morgana, are you sure?”

Morgana nodded, “Yes. There is no one more dependable than you. I can’t give Henry to anyone else but his dad. I am ready to take an oath to the effect. Henry will become your son.”

Arthur said, “If that is so, then he will become my heir. I will raise him with Merlin and he will know you through us.”

Morgana stood up, gave Henry to him, and rushed out of the room. She was crying and Arthur felt bad for his sister. He hoped that Merlin would find a way to break the curse.

------------

Morgana and Arthur were thick as thieves after their heartfelt discussion. With Morgana’s help, he was able to convince the lords faster and by the time his birthday came, he was ready to make the declaration.

The only problem was that Merlin was missing. He had left without a word on the day Morgana arrived and has not been heard from since. Morgana was equally tense about him. Merlin had failed to show up at Ealorfish either.

When Arthur woke up on his birthday, he had a terrible headache. Merlin was once more not there. This was the first absence that Merlin was not around but Sadir was still with him. Usually, when Merlin left for longer periods, Sadir also became aloof. This time Sadir was more affectionate as if compensating for his person. Sadir’s presence was a balm to his pain as it reflected that Merlin was alive.

He met Morgana and Henry for breakfast and they were both too despondent to put energy even for the show. Henry was missing his father and had been cranky for the past few days. The day was slow. Some people were celebrating Arthur’s name day while others were planning for the evening feast. Arthur did not have the heart to stop them but he did not feel the excitement.

The day passed slowly. Arthur forced himself to attend the feast. He was accepting the good wishes of the nth noble when the doors of the ballroom were thrown open. A haggard Merlin entered the room. He was focused and he shouted, “Morgana.”

Morgana immediately ran towards him and Arthur was close on her feet. Merlin quickly moved forward and hugged Morgana.

“Where is Henry?”

Morgana pointed towards me and Merlin saw his child in my arms. He softened for a minute before he said, “How could you Morgana? What if he had harmed our son?”

Morgana hissed, “Merlin, you have to listen.”

Merlin bristled and said, “You did not. How could you do this to me?”

“I dared because I care for you and Henry. I would not have left him an orphan. Arthur will take care of him if the two of us die. Well, you die of your recklessness,” she explained.

“You think he will? On the first sign of magic, he will kill our son as he has killed countless others. There is a reason people from Camelot cannot find Ealorfish. You and Henry are protected from all especially the ruthless rulers of Camelot over there.”

“I will not leave my son without love. Arthur will love his nephew and son.”

Merlin stepped back and looked towards Arthur who was gazing at him with love. Merlin wanted to move forward but he stopped and turned back to Morgana, “My lady, ignore this all. What will happen, will happen. I bought this for you. It will break the curse and restore your energy. You may live longer than most.” He said this as he handed her a bottle with a golden potion.

“Will this make me immortal?” Morgana asked.

“Yes, but for you, it will counter the drain and you will have until the power of drain become greater than the power of this potion. Which will be many years in the future. You will be able to find your soulmate and live happily,” Merlin cheerily said.

Morgana turned serious and asked, “Merlin, you promised that we will make our decisions together and none of us will hold the other back. Do you hold to it?”

“Yes, m’ lady. With all my heart.”

“Then you will let me decide on how and when to use this potion.”

“I will never force you,” he earnestly said.

Morgana turned to Arthur, “Arthur what would you do if I gift you this potion today on your birthday?”

Arthur said, “Morgana, you cant. This is your chance to be with Henry. I will..”

Morgana cut him off, “I have found two loves in this short time and a brother. I must protect them all. Henry will remain safe and loved with you and Merlin. You hold Merlin’s heart and I want him to feel the happiness he has given me. Now, my brother, this is a loop because of which no seer can see the future. Either one of us will spend eternity with Merlin. He will be happiest with you but he will be satisfied with me.”

Merlin shouted, “Morgana, please don’t do that. Arthur does not love me and he should not have to be forced in such a decision. He is better off without such a life that will only cause him pain and suffering for years to come. We can be there for them when they need us. We are the stronger ones, the ones who can make the hard decisions. Arthur is so pure, don’t do this to him. Please.”

Morgana smiled at Merlin and softly said, “My love, you gave the potion and its use to me. Now, I will decide who will drink it. And you are wrong. Not only Arthur cares for you, but he is also strong enough to be by your side. With him at your side, an eternity will look small.”

Arthur was shocked by Merlin’s lack of faith in him. He thought Arthur was pure and not strong enough to suffer with Merlin. Arthur would prove him incorrect. He held out his hand and took the potion from Morgana. Then he drank it in one sip. He only left a few drops at the end. He gave them back to Morgana, “Drink these so that you may be with us for a few more years. So, you may see Henry grow.”

Morgana haughtily said, “Are you sure you are ready to share Merlin with me?”

Arthur thoughtfully said, “Yes, as long as we have another brother and sister for Henry.”

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Merlin was glaring at the pair. He did not understand what was happening. He had spent the last few days of his life searching for a cure for Morgana. He had broken his promise to Aithusa to stay with his family on the last day. He had gone to Ealorfish to find that Morgana was in Camelot and had used much of his powers to transport him to Camelot. He wanted to hand over the cure before he died. Now it seemed he would live and Arthur would be at his side for the rest of his immortal life. He wanted to save Arthur from future pain and suffering. Arthur did not love his soulmate and an eternity without love was too daunting. Merlin wanted to die for primarily this reason. However, once Arthur had drunk the potion there was nothing he could do about it. He hoped for the best.

The people surrounding them were confused. Apart from the knights of the round table, no one knew the truth. The knights of the round table had been the only guards and servants who observed and heard Arthur’s and Morgana’s private interactions. They knew Morgana was dying and she was married to Merlin. They knew Merlin was Arthur’s soulmate. They knew Arthur was changing the laws for Merlin and now Henry. They were happy for this critical turn in events where Morgana will be able to live and Arthur will be with his soulmate.

Arthur and Morgana quickly took their leave and dragged a baffled Merlin with them. Once they were safely in Arthur’s chambers, Morgana handed over Henry to Merlin. He took his son and sat down on a chair. His brain was in overdrive and he did not know what to think. He was not going to die and he was going to live an immortal life with Arthur.

Hours seemed to pass before he looked in Arthur’s eyes and asked, “When?”

Arthur instinctively knew what was being asked and replied, “Eleven months.”

“Why did you not say something.”

Arthur haughtily replied, “you knew for eleven years and you said nothing. How can you grudge me my eleven months.”

“I don’t. I just thought I was going to die.”

“And Kilgharrah told you destiny would not let that happen; it will find a way to protect you. Well, I overheard you and Gaius.”

“I knew it was a bad idea but Gaius was persistent.”

“So, when are you going to put me on the pyre,” Merlin boldly asked.

“You idiot. I have drunk an immortality potion for you. I have changed the rules of Camelot. I have made magic legal. I have suffered in agony while you were missing. I have been scolded by Prat to put my game together. I love you too much to put you on a pyre. You may be our living shield, but we are your anchors.”

Merlin was baffled. When put like that, everything seemed easy. Too easy.

He hopefully asked, “You don’t hate me?”

Arthur grouchily said, “When I did not even know your secrets and thought you were a mere manservant, I wanted you. I loved you dearly for twelve years, even if I did not show it. I can never hate you.”

“But you think I am evil?”

“You are. You wanted to die rather than give me a chance. You would have left me to rot in this world without love.”

“No, I would not have. You would have not been burdened by my evil deeds and you would have found someone more compatible,” Merlin said sincerely.

“You idiot, I love you and I can't live without you. While I don’t know your deeds, I know they can never be evil. You had been shouldering more than your share of responsibility for so long, I am sorry. I should have stood by you when you achieved each of those deeds. They should have been our deeds and not only yours. I put that burden on you by being oblivious and not caring for you enough when it mattered.”

“No. You did not know. I can never blame you.”

“But the blame is mine.”

“Arthur, if I had told you the truth about my magic this would never have happened.”

“It did happen because I never gave you a chance to trust me.”

“I trust you the most in this world.”

Then Merlin moved forward and hugged Arthur. It was an awkward hug with Henry coddled in the middle. Morgana was smiling. Her family was complete.

It will take them some time to get over their issues. They would blame each other and themselves for acts of god but they will be happier in the end.

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Epilogue   

Arthur was able to convince Merlin of his love. It was a long process but Camelot’s king cleansed his soulmate of the negative and sacrificial mindset that he had accidentally induced in the warlock. They lived happily together overseeing Camelot and with Merlin at his side, he combined Albion and became the greatest ruler ever. They ruled Albion for two hundred years before Arthur gave up the crown to his great-grandson.

Morgana never found her soulmate but she had a family with Arthur and Merlin. Between the three of them, they had many sons and daughters.

In the meantime, Merlin was able to find a country like the Sidhes country which was away from the prying eyes of humans. For his family, he spent years perfecting the immortality potion. He wanted to enjoy his life with his children and grandchildren. In Merlin’s country, his family members could live for thousands of years. Henry was the ruler of the country. Merlin was too busy experimenting and Arthur had ruled for two hundred years and did not want to take the burden anymore. Morgana and Arthur were Henry’s primary advisors.

The country was also the primary hub for dragon breeding as it had the most number of dragonlords. The progeny of Aithusa and Prat thrived in Merlin’s country. Aithusa did end up using her wish. After Arthur became immortal, Prat also gained the same life. Aithusa had to use her wish and gain immortality for herself so as not to leave Prat behind. Pratzillah never became fond of his name especially when his children started calling him Prat, a habit they picked up from Merlin. He preferred Zill but no one was ready to use it.

Sadir also found an immortal mate in one of Henry’s son’s pets. The two dogs had many pups over the years.      

Merlin sometimes thought that Arthur regretted drinking the potion. Well, for Arthur his only regret was missing those twelve years with Merlin. He could have cherished and loved Merlin for longer and even with immortal life, they could have been together for a few more years.

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