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Tommy has never liked anyone. Of course, he loved his family and his close friends were important to him. But this other feeling people always talked about never happened to him before. So, he felt really fine working in this kind of industry. While some of his co actors where quite stressed about the fact that they were labelled as gay by their fans, he was relaxed because there was never anybody he was feeling bad for. He actually pitied his friends when they told him, that every girl they talk to, turned out to expect them to like boys and just wants to say how cute their couple is. Also the girlfriend of one friend started questioning his sexuality after seeing his show. On the other hand there were the ones who were actually gay, and there were not that few. They face a problem too: when paired up with a straight actor developing feelings was always something lethal. Often Tommy had to console a friend when he realized that he liked his couple partner too much. Just in a few cases such situations ended well. So, Tommy was really happy with his non-existing feelings for anybody.
Filming Why R U was so much fun, all of the people where so nice and the show was really successful. Tommy would have never expected that. Finally, his hard work showed some result. At the beginning he was a little skeptical about his role because he felt that Zon was so different from him and also his start with Jimmy was not easy. But with time passing by, everything became so simple. He discovered all the similarities between him and Zon and acting felt like returning home.
Like this, the line between reality and fiction somehow became thinner and he began to mix his feelings with the ones from Zon. That was, what Tommy was telling himself. Otherwise he wouldn’t be able to explain why he enjoyed Tommy’s company so much. Well, more than anybody else’s. Of course, he became a good friend with him, they always had something to talk and laugh about. But there was another feeling inside him, which he never felt before. And this scared Tommy. He had no idea what was going on. He thought about every possibility, he also considered that he had feelings for the younger one. But that was just not acceptable, he knew how bad such things could end. So, he looked for other explanations and tried to focus on different things, which worked rather well, until that day. The day they were shooting the kiss scene after the concert. So, there he was. Standing in the corridor, wearing clothes from the 70s and rubbing his hands, which were wet from sweating. He needed to stay professional.
At least this was not going to be his first kiss. The fact that he never liked anybody, didn’t mean he had no experience. He kissed some girls in high school, well because everybody did it and that was also when he lost his virginity. It was right after graduating and they were both drunk. He didn’t regret it, but it felt wrong. That was when Tommy decided to only do it again when having feelings for someone. Easier said than done. He was just a man and the girls at his university somehow found him cute, what was still unexplainable to him. A gentleman as he is, he told every girl beforehand, that he is not looking for a relationship. So that was that part of the story. The other part Tommy would rather forget. Only not so long ago -it must have been right before starting the filming of Why R U- one of his co actors (one of the gay ones) confessed, that he found him really hot. Being himself, Tommy was flattered, but also shy. His friend persuaded him so long, until Tommy accepted to try some things. They kissed and it was okay. Like kissing a girl, he really didn’t feel a difference. But still he didn’t want to go further. Not because he was averse to the idea, but because he didn’t want to lose a friend, if he could not return his feelings. Luckily everything went well, and they went on as if nothing had happened.
“P’Tommy, they want to start now.” With this words Jimmy pulled him back to reality and took his hand, to drag him at the place where they should be standing. After some last instructions, he was sitting there on these boxes, not being in character yet and Jimmy right in front of him. He could do that! He had to... Suddenly he thought about Jimmy. Was this going to be his first kiss? He was only 20 years old, so it wouldn’t be that weird.
“Are you okay?” Tommy asked and was happy that his voice was steady and assuring.
“Of course. I am actually really looking forward to it.” Jimmy answered and winked. Tommy’s nervousness died down a little bit, being replace with astonishment. Before he could deepen the thought, the director gave the signal to start.
Everything went well. Saifah kissed Zon on his forehead. It felt so right for Tommy, as if Jimmy’s lips belonged on his face. His job as Zon was it now to kiss Saifah’s nose and he liked it. He -Tommy- wanted to do it. Their noses snuggled a little bit and they looked into each other’s eyes. For a small moment he froze but thankfully Jimmy moved and kissed him. Immediately he also went for it. It felt so good. His lips started tingling and it tasted so sweet. The kiss let him feel more emotions than any former had. Jimmy was kissing with a quiet open moth, but Tommy couldn’t handle more right now, so he left his lips closed. After some seconds they separated and their eyes locked. Tommy just wanted to have more, so he reached for Jimmy’s neck. This was not in the script, but Jimmy followed his example. Before Tommy would lose control, he remembered where they were and smiled, which was returned by Jimmy.
“Cut.” They separated but still looked happy. Tommy couldn’t stop himself from grinning dumbly. Jimmy immediately petted his hair as he did do so often.
“Guys this was perfect. As I see we have all the angles too. We are finished for today.”
It was only afternoon, the two waited for Saint and Zee to finish their scene and so they and some of the crew members went eating. This new virus, which was spreading in some parts of China was a big topic at the table. Tommy didn’t bother much about it. He rather enjoyed the time with his friends and couldn’t stop himself from looking at Jimmy’s lips more often during this dinner.
After some time, Saint asked with a smug on his face: “So you two had your first kissing scene today. How was it?” Immediately Tommy felt really shy and turned red for sure. Saint’s undertone was implying so much. Thankfully Jimmy was quick on the trigger. “Really nice. Surely better than you two’s, ours was full of romance.” Tommy felt even more shy, but also strengthened by Jimmy’s reply. Saint got distracted by somebody and dropped the topic. Jimmy took the chance, put an arm around Tommy’s shoulder and kept it there until they left half an hour later.
Everybody said goodbye with the belief to see each other again in a few days to shoot the next episode.
But things didn’t always go as planned. On the evening of the next day, the actors and the crew were informed that due to health risks, the government set measures and for the following week the whole shooting program was cancelled. Tommy was really disappointed, because he was so looking forward seeing Jimmy again. He already planned some activity with him after shoots. The next thing he thought about was the show! What will be aired next week? Poor production team, hopefully they will have an idea. Either way Tommy was sure that their fans would understand the situation.
He called Jimmy right away, just because he wanted to hear his voice. They had a little bit of small talk and decided to hear each other more often during this free week. Just that Tommy wrote and called every day. He just hoped that he wasn’t bothering the younger too much. Albeit Jimmy always seemed really happy to see him, Tommy knew he was nice to everyone and would never turn down anybody, not to mention his P’ and acting partner. Although they could meet up, the government advised not to do so and not travel to far. Since Tommy lived in the middle of Bangkok and Jimmy went home to his parents, which was 3 hours away, that was not an option.
As expected, Tommy survived the time without Jimmy, but he was really sure now, that he had feelings for his co actor. He thought about it a lot. He even did research on the Internet: How to find out that I am in love. He just wants to spend all his time with Jimmy, his heart beats faster when he’s hearing his voice and when he thinks about him. Even only thinking back to their kiss, gave him chills and he craved for more. The only thing, which was still unclear to him, was, if he was also sexually attracted to him. Jimmy was a man after all, and what a man. He was so tall and strong, although he seemed rather skinny. It was clear that, if they ever would do IT, then Tommy would be the bottom. What else did he learn in all those shows he watched and even starred in himself? He is the small, silent and shy part of their couple. Jimmy is tall and outgoing. Tommy tried to ignore this way of thought for now, it didn’t bring anything imagining all those things, when actually they were nothing more than friends.
It was already one week that he had nothing to do. He knew all his lines by heart and was lying in his bed, scrolling through Instagram. The filming would go on tomorrow and he was happy, but also nervous. He decided to talk to Jimmy, maybe asking some questions to find out about his preferences and experiences. Further he could not go, he could not reveal his feelings, they still needed more than a month of filming and there was also the fan service afterwards. He could not risk feeling bad or making Jimmy feel bad. Just as he was swiping through his Instagram, a new post from Jimmy appeared in his feed. A picture of him as Saifah. Tommy took a minute to sink in the picture. Jimmy looked so adorable, and he also looked so young. He kind of felt bad for liking this kid and Jimmy was nearly only a kid. He looked down and read the caption. Do you miss me? I miss you. He couldn’t stop himself from thinking that Jimmy meant him. He wanted to comment, that he misses him too, but after typing and deleting some things, he didn’t write anything it in the end. He was such a coward. He decided to go to sleep, otherwise he would think too much.
When he heard the news, he was devasted. First, he was worried for Jimmy. What did it mean that he was under home quarantine? Was he infected or just someone he or his family were in contact with? He needed to call him as soon as possible. Secondly, he thought about the show. What will the producers do? Another BTS episode or focus more on Fighter and Tutor? But for how long will this be possible.
And lastly, he pitied himself. He was so looking forward to the next scenes with Jimmy. Saifah and Zon were a couple now, so their scenes involved cuddling and sweet talks. All things he wanted to do with Jimmy. When will Tommy get a chance to have some important conversation with Jimmy? Shit, he was so looking forward to Jimmy, that right now he felt so hollow. Man, he was even on the verge of crying. Why did he get so little information? His scenes will be suspended for at least two weeks, but what else? A second later he was on his feet pacing his room. He hated it so much, he was imagining all the things they will do together and now everything crumbled with just one email. His eyes were wet, but he just swept the tears away and made his way back to his phone. He video called Jimmy, who answered immediately.
“Hey P’Tommy. I was about to call you too.”
“What is going on? I just got a mail, that our filming is stopped because you must stay in isolation. What does that mean? Are you okay?” Tommy asked worriedly and bid his bottom lip.
“Stay calm, I’m totally fine. It’s just my mom, she has some symptoms and will get tested soon. We have to wait for the result and then stay in quarantine for 2 weeks to see if we also show symptoms.”
“Ok.” Tommy said while exhaling. He felt a big relief, now that he knew Jimmy was fine. “How is she doing? I heard people can have heavy breathing problems others have a normal flue.”
“It’s all fine. The doctor advised her to stay at home at first. Because the hospitals are rather full and also dangerous, if she wasn’t infected, she could get it that way. We try our best to stay away but still we need to take care of her.”
“I wish her all the best. What will happen with the show? We only filmed some scenes which they could use, the one of you being sick. Like, have you any idea what will happen?”
“No not really. I think, Saint and Zee will go on and maybe the producers will extend their scenes.” After a little pause he added: “Don’t think too much, it’s not our fault. The people are all really great and talented, they will find a way.”
“You are right, I’m only in a really bad mood now. I was so happy to see you again and everybody, but know such things happen. What damned virus is this, meddling with our lives??” Tommy was angry and hurt now. He just couldn’t believe that something invisible and so small is separating him from the one he wanted to be with the most. He turned the camera away from his face because he didn’t want Jimmy to see his face right now. He was crying. This time for real.
“P’? Hey Tommy, what is going on? I agree with you. There is nowhere I’d rather be now, than on set with you. Please I want to see you. I need to know you’re okay.”
“I’m not okay.” And with that he looked back in his phone, seeing his face was a little reddish and wet.
“I..” but he stopped himself. He couldn’t say it on the phone and also not now. That was not how it should go.
“Tommy. I get you. I am sad too. Please don’t cry anymore, because I can’t come to comfort you. I feel really helpless right now seeing you like this. What can I do?”
“Thank you. It’s fine, I just have some things on my mind these days and now this. Everything is a little too much.”
“You can always talk to me.”
“I know and I will, just not right now.”
“Okay. Let’s play some music together!” Jimmy took his guitar and started playing some melody, which Tommy recognized and started to sing along. It sounded a little crooked because his nose was still harmed because of crying. But he felt happy again and at least could switch off his mind for some minutes. Afterwards Jimmy was called to dinner and they said goodbye with the promise to hear each other the next day.
And so the days passed. On the following Friday Tommy was watching Why R U, the show where he should star, but his pairing was missing totally. They really did a good job, the scenes of Fighter and Tutor on the beach where beautiful and he wished that it would have been Saifah and Zon who did all the things he saw in this episode. Afterwards he and Jimmy talked as every evening. While talking about the episode Jimmy commented on Fighter and Tutors first time.
“This scene was so hot. Really I was getting so warm and couldn’t take my eyes off of the screen. We also need to do it this great. But as far as I know, they planned that we only kiss.” Tommy was hearing these things, but blood was swooshing through his ears. Did Jimmy know what he was saying? Tommy didn’t know what to reply, so he just nodded. This was just one of many things that Jimmy did or said which made Tommy hope. There was this possibility that Jimmy might like boys and so the probability that one day he also liked him wasn’t that small then. The moment he wanted to ask further questions, Jimmy’s dad said from the back.
“Waia is here with the grocery and she wants to talk to you. Oh hey Tommy!” He came in sight and waved to greet. Tommy replied the greeting.
“I can tell Waia that you are busy at the moment.”
“No Pa, it’s fine, I also want to talk to her. Tell her I’ll be there in a few minutes.” Jimmy’s dad nodded, smiled at Tommy and left the room.
“Who is Waia?”
“She is a voluntary worker, who helps families who are under quarantine to do the shopping, since we are not allowed to leave the house. I knew her before, she lives nearby, but only now we started talking a little bit.”
“I see.” Tommy didn’t want to sound disappointed, but he was. Of course, he was jealous but also sad that Jimmy is ending their call for her.
“I’m really sorry P’, but I wanted to talk to her for some time. I call you tomorrow again!” he smiled and waved.
“Okay, bye.” Tommy said a little happier now and waved too. As the screen turned black, he realized again what a shitty situation he was in. He was in love with a good friend, who was also his acting partner and probably straight. This girl Waia. She was for sure beautiful and they were close as it seemed. Jimmy wanted to talk to her. What about?? Something Jimmy couldn’t tell him about? Well, he was just doing the same, he didn’t tell Jimmy what was going on the other day and Jimmy was not acting so childish as he is.
The following week Tommy had some photo shooting and he also visited Saint and Zee at the set. They were shooting the breakup scene and Tommy was so moved. Why are there always these misunderstanding? Fighter and Tutor were perfect for each other, everything was beautiful and now this. He was just glad that he knew how everything ended, otherwise he would nearly loose hope for this couple. How bad must the fans feel after this episode.
After calling it a day, the director came and told him that they wrote some new scenes for him. So that the audience at least saw him once after 3 episodes of nothing or only flashbacks. He was happy, it was a scene with Saint. They also explained to him that they will include now and the following week the half-finished scenes with sick Saifah.
So, time passed by fast and suddenly Jimmy’s quarantine time was nearly over. Tommy was shocked that he only didn’t see him for 3 weeks, but it felt like eternity. It was evening and he was waiting for Jimmy’s call.
“I am so amazed by our producers. I mean look what they did, the show is nearly perfect. And I am so happy that our scenes will get filmed and aired after the ending. Hopefully at this time the general lockdown is not as strict as now.”
“You’re right. As far as I got informed, next week we are allowed to film the final, because we are at the beach the crew is minimized and everybody can keep the demanded distance. Except the couples of course.”
“Great, at least that. I can return to the city in a few days and then we have our appointment for the virus test.”
“I am looking forward to see you.” Tommy couldn’t couch what he felt when thinking about it.
“Me too” Jimmy said grinning madly. He added “I need to talk to you about something when we see each other again.”
“Oh ok, of course. I hope it’s nothing bad.”
“No, I don’t think so. But we need to settle some things. I will go to sleep now. Goodnight P’.”
Tommy just smiled fondly and waved, then he hung up. Suddenly so many thoughts came up. Was he too obvious? Did Jimmy want to make it clear to him that he didn’t feel the same way? Did he want to end their friendship because of it? Okay, the last one may not be the case, otherwise he wouldn’t still be talking to him so nicely. He couldn’t stop imagining the worst scenarios but at least he fell asleep really fast.
Three days later he found himself in front of the hospital, when he waited for Jimmy and their manager. When he saw Jimmy’s car his belly was tingling and when he saw him, he couldn’t keep himself from grinning madly. Well he was wearing a mask, so it wasn’t visible. The same applied to Jimmy, who was wearing a beautiful orange mask. They were not allowed to hug, so they needed to greet each other by eye contact. And that was enough. They didn’t even say hello verbally. Tommy was so in love with this guy, it was unbelievable.
They were led inside and blood was taken really fast. Only 20 minutes later they were standing outside again. They got some information from their manager.
“The result will be there in 2 days and when everything is alright, we leave for the beach the day after. Now guys you can do whatever you want. You are aware of the lockdown rules, so try not to get to close to too many people. Stay safe and see you.” With this he left them alone.
Jimmy was the first one to rise to speak. “Should we take some cold milkshake and sit at the river? I know a part where no one is.”
“Sounds perfect.” And so they walked side by side.
The spot Jimmy chose was really peaceful, one could only hear the water running and some birds chirping. In general, the natural environment and the air became cleaner since everybody was forced to stay at home. Tommy was only happy at this moment. They were talking and laughing together. Until Jimmy changed the tone in his voice to a more serious one.
“I wanted to talk to you.” Tommy nodded, just hoping it had nothing to do with his feelings. Jimmy continued.
“These weeks I realized something and I got the feeling that you are keeping something from me. It started when you cried that day on the videocall.” Tommy was not ready for this kind of talk now, everything was fine the way it was now. He started panicking, he never was in such a situation before. He never was in love with anybody until now and so he had no idea what to do.
“It was nothing, don’t think about it too much.”
“No, Tommy I need to, at least from my side I want to make things clear.” His tone was not unfriendly, but since Jimmy was always so nice, Tommy knew that this was something bothering Jimmy a lot. He knew how this talk would end. He would never be able to lie to Jimmy and deny his feelings. So, without thinking, he rose from where he was sitting, turned around and left with fast steps. On the way to his car, tears streamed down his face, who were absorbed in his mask. While driving he was concentrated but as soon as he reached his apartment he fell on the bed and totally broke down. He didn’t cry this much since he was a child. He heard his phone ringing, messages and calls, but he ignored all of them. Not long and he fell asleep, without dinner and fully dressed.
The next morning his head hurt and his eyes and nose were swollen. After a shower and a small breakfast he checked his phone. Shit, 19 missed calls from Jimmy and 6 messages. He didn’t want to look at them for now. The whole day he avoided thinking about Jimmy and ignored the fact that after tomorrow they would drive to the beach and shoot a kiss scene. Man, he needed to find an explanation for what happened. Everything that came up his mind was just ridiculous and Jimmy would surely notice he was lying. He will just ignore him, he decided. Jimmy would be professional while shooting the scene, so at least from his side this won’t be a problem.
The day passed and Tommy didn’t even know what he did.
The next morning, he decided that he should read the messages. He opened the chat. In the meantime there were 8 messages.
Tommy where did you go?
P’ please tell me where you are.
I am sorry for making you hurt, but I really wanted to finally tell you something important. So answer me please.
I didn’t expect you to react so negatively. I am not even sure if your reaction is caused by my words (because I didn’t even start talking actually) or something else.
Did you return home safely?
Just tell me you’re safe.
These Jimmy sent right after he left. The next two were from yesterday morning.
Ok. Although you are ignoring me, I cannot keep it any longer. We will see each other tomorrow anyways and I am sure that we can act professionally, albeit I might destroy what we have with this message. We have known each other now for about a year and you became one of my best friends. I was so happy that we chose each other when being paired up for this show. We created a bond that was beautiful and it was the happiest time in my life. Then the quarantine time was a hard task, but when talking to you everything was well again and time flew by. During this time everything became clear to me. Always when I was with you, I had this unbelievably good feeling, I was smiling non-stop and also you seemed to enjoy my company. You have to understand, that, when we shared our first kiss scene, I was not in character but nonetheless I wanted to kiss you so badly. Two weeks ago, I realized it. So I talked to Waia since I knew she would be discrete about it and could give me some advise. That was, to talk to you openly. And I tried. At first, I put little hints, that you could befriend with the idea that I like men. I saw how shocked you were when I said I found the scene hot. I didn’t sense a big change afterwards, so I prepared to confess to you at the river. But you ran away. I was ready for a rejection, but not even having the chance to say what I feel deep inside is hurting me.
I love you.
Tommy was not breathing anymore. His mind was blank and the silence was so loud at this moment in his room. A single tear was running down his cheek. How could he have been so blind and do everything the wrong way? Jimmy loved him and he loved Jimmy. They could have been happy if he wouldn’t have been such a coward and ran away. He needed to act immediately. His trembling fingers tapped on the symbol for calling and while the dialing sound blared in his ear, he was repeating one sentence in his head, being ready to say it as soon Jimmy would pick up. I love you too.
Just that he didn’t pick up.
Tommy panicked. What if everything was too late and Jimmy hated him now? Should he try to reach him, write a message or wait for tomorrow to come? After some more calls, he decided to write a message.
Jimmy. It’s me who has to say sorry. You did nothing wrong, actually you did everything right. I was a coward who was rather running away than talk to you. I don’t know what more to say, but I love you too. Please believe me. I only hope that you can forgive me.
Now he needed to wait. Although the situation was fucked up, he couldn’t stop himself from smiling a little. The same moment his stomach rumbled and he checked the time. Already late afternoon. Was he really sitting there already for hours? He cooked some instant noodles, not able to focus enough on cooking something more complex. After finishing his dish his phone rang, he jumped to it, but was disappointed to see that it was his manager.
“Hey, I hope you are fine. I just got the result from your test and you are both negative. I forward you the medical papers. I tried to call Jimmy, but he didn’t answer his phone. So just tell him when you hear him. And for tomorrow everything is planned. We pick you up at 8 a.m.”
“Thank you. See you.” Okay, so also their manger couldn’t reach Jimmy. Now he was a little worried.
Since he still needed to pack his staff, thankfully he got distracted from his thoughts. When he exited from the shower his phone rang. A look on the display was enough to catch his breath. It was Jimmy, he didn’t hesitate for long and picked up.
“Jimmy.”
“P’Tommy.”
Then there was silence, but this time Tommy didn’t want to keep silent any longer. “I am so sorry for running away. I just couldn’t handle it, if you were about to say something rejective regarding my feelings for you. Now I know what you wanted to say and as I already wrote.” He took a deep breath and said with a broken voice. “I love you too, so much.” He cried - again.
He also heard Jimmy’s silent sobs on the other end of the line. “Thank you so much. I am so happy. I would love to be with you now.”
“Me too, but we see each other in a few hours. When will you be picked up?”
“5 am.”
“Wow really early, so you are at your parent’s house?”
“Yes. I was a little heart-broken and needed some days of ease. I didn’t know how you would react to my message and to be honest I expected the worst.”
“I’m sorry for making you feel this way.”
“You don’t need to apologize anymore. Everything is fine, I am happy now. But also really tired, I think all this agitation today really took a toll on me.”
“I feel you. We should sleep now.”
“Goodnight P.”
Before Jimmy could hang up Tommy nearly screamed. ”I love you.”
Jimmy replied with a tired voice “I love you too”. Then it was silent, Tommy lay flat on the bed and felt like the happiest person on this planet.
The next morning came and Tommy thought he didn’t sleep at all, but he didn’t bother. Nothing could spoil his mood today. He was going to see Jimmy! How should he act? I mean they will see each other when they arrive at the hotel at the beach, where crew and co actors were everywhere. Tommy was not sure how Jimmy wanted to handle things. They better kept their relationship secret. Wait relationship? They didn’t really talk about what they were, but Tommy was sure Jimmy wanted the same as he did.
His doorbell pulled him out of his thoughts, he grabbed his bag and hurried down where his manager already waited with the car. On the 2 hours ride he was lost in thoughts and grinned every now and then.
“Tommy what are you smiling about?”
“I am just happy.” His manger shrugged and they kept silent until they arrived.
Tommy’s heart was racing, when he saw Jimmy’s car already standing at the parking lot. The hotel and the view were really beautiful, but he couldn’t enjoy the view, cause he was only looking for Jimmy in the crowd. It wasn’t hard to find him, since he was the tallest in the whole group. He just went for it ignoring everybody around him. He tapped on his shoulder and as Jimmy turned around, Tommy grabbed him and hugged him forcefully. A very surprised Jimmy needed a moment, but right after he returned the hug. They stood this way for some minutes and many people started to look at them and it became a little more silent.
“I missed you.” Jimmy whispered so that only Tommy could hear it. He was still speechless, so he just nodded into Jimmy’s collarbone.
“Ahem.” The director uttered, and they loosened the hug, still standing very close to each other.
“I am very happy that all of you are back for shooting the final. The situation is a very bad now and we are lucky we are allowed to shoot now, despite the lockdown. We will start right away after lunch with some of the beach scenes and today evening we do the bed scenes. If everything works out, we finish the last beach scenes tomorrow morning. Now check your rooms and then you can take your food at the tent right there.” With these words the group broke up and Jimmy and Tommy were greeted by Saint and Zee.
“How are you guys doing?”
“Fine. Really fine.” Tommy answered. Actually, he didn’t want to talk to them right now, he just wanted to have some time alone with Jimmy.
“Great. Should we eat something together?” Zee asked and put an arm around Saint, who smiled at his action. Tommy didn’t know how to reply, so Jimmy said: “Yes why not, just let us bring our bags in our rooms first.” With this he took Tommy’s arm and dragged him inside.
They shared a room as usual. They were standing there, bags just put in the corner and they were looking in each other’s eyes. Jimmy came closer and put his hands on Tommy’s cheeks, caressing them with his thumbs. Tommy grabbed Jimmy by his neck and pulled him down. They were kissing and it felt amazing. It was a shy kiss, not really hot but full of feelings. It reminded him of their kiss scene. Actually, they were in the same situation as Saifah and Zon. Jimmy ended the kiss but his lips found their way to Tommy’s forehead and placed a kiss there. Tommy was overwhelmed by his feelings.
“I love you.” He needed to say it, he wanted to say it so hard. He looked up in Jimmy’s small eyes, which looked fondly down at him.
“I love you too. I am so happy.” They hugged as if their live depended on it and stood like this for some minutes until Jimmy said: “We should go. Otherwise we won’t make it in time for eating. Also, Saint and Zee might wonder what we are doing.” Tommy nodded and they made their way to the food tent. They sat with their co actors and had a good time. For Tommy everything felt perfect, nothing was weird. They talked and laughed with each other as always. Only his heart was beating a little faster than usual. He liked it.
The beach scenes were easy to film, especially when he (as Tommy) was feeling the same things he (as Zon) should feel about his partner, so he didn’t even need to try to act in love, since he deeply was. Afterwards the two bed scenes were filmed. It was decided that they firstly film Saifah/Zon because theirs was shorter and so they two could call it a day earlier.
Tommy was nervous. Even more than if they wouldn’t have feelings for each other. What if he couldn’t control himself? Thank God they only needed to kiss, but there was also this really emotional conversation. They prepared and the scene started. Jimmy playing the guitar - wait not Jimmy, it was Saifah and he was Zon. He needed to keep this in mind.
He liked that first half of the scene: Saifah who at first was talking big and then hesitating. But he got it. He was just afraid that Zon might not be ready since he backed off already many times. The scene went on and they had the first kiss, where Tommy should act rather passive and a little surprised. Thankfully he made it and didn’t reciprocated so much. It felt so nice. Then Zon asked Saifah: “Are you sure?” Tommy knew that Jimmy understood he was not only asking as Zon, but also meaning their new relationship. And with his “Yes. I’m sure.” Saifah and Jimmy confirmed to their partner what he really wanted.
And then they kissed again. And suddenly Tommy felt Jimmy’s tongue on his lips. He was surprised for real. At least he also should be as Zon. This time he kissed back a little harder. Jimmy -no Saifah- was guiding him backwards not interrupting the kiss. Tommy grabbed his neck and caressed his hair. This kiss was so much more than they were instructed it to be. Nobody ever asked them to use tongue, it just should look passionate. Of course, Tommy didn’t complain at all and followed.
There was still a line to say and Jimmy broke the kiss. He retrieved from him and they looked into each other’s eyes. Tommy was so emotional right now. He was not Zon and Jimmy was not Saifah, he was sure about it. So it felt earnest when Jimmy said: ” I promise that I’ll have only you.” Tommy was breathing heavily and his eyes became wet.
He answered, meaning it from the bottom of his heart: “I’ll give it to you only.” And a single tear run down his cheek. Also Jimmy was visibly moved and swallowed heavily. They kissed again. This time also Tommy couldn’t stop himself anymore. He just wanted to taste him, he needed it. He grabbed his neck again and their tongues met. It was the best kiss he ever had and he totally forgot about the people in the room.
Until he heard a silent and a little hesitating “Cut.” They separated and looked at each other. The room was silent, some people were standing there with their mouths open, others smiled widely. Jimmy and Tommy let go of each other and sat up.
“What was that? I mean it was perfect, but...” The director couldn’t stop his voice from sounding a little scratchy and the tone was between incredulity and happiness.
“Sorry I got carried away.”
“Me too.” They said a little embarrassed.
“No it’s okay. We have everything, you guys can leave now or watch Saint and Zee.” They just nodded to the director, took their things and left the shooting scene hurriedly. On their ways they met Saint coming from makeup. He was about to ask how it went when the two just walked pass him.
They reached their room and as the door closed Jimmy was pressing Tommy at the wall and their lips found each other. The kiss was needy this time, their lips crashed and Jimmy’s hands started roaming Tommy’s upper body. He wanted to feel Jimmy’s hands without the bothering shirt. So as soon he got the possibility, he removed his shirt and did the same with Jimmy’s. They could feel each other now. Everywhere Jimmy touched him his skin burned. They were kissing again and standing so close to each other that also their lower half touched. Although they still wore their shorts Tommy felt everything down there. And he liked it. It was the first time with a guy, but he was not scared. He even wanted to touch more of Jimmy.
So he did. He pushed him backwards to the opposite wall and slowly let his hand wander down Jimmy’s belly. When he arrived at the waistband, he looked into Jimmy’s eyes to check if he was okay with it. Jimmy was looking so hot, his face full of lust and love. When he nodded Tommy pulled down both shorts and boxers, so that Jimmy was now standing naked in front of him. Tommy liked the view. Jimmy’s cock was already fully hard. Jimmy laughed at the sight and said: “First time to see another dick?”
Tommy was embarrassed again. “Yes, I am not gay. I only have experience with girls. But I’m okay, I like it.”
“Okay baby, we take it slow.”
“You already did it? With guys?”
“Yes, I only like men. And I also have experience, but don’t worry.” And with this also Jimmy pulled down Tommy’s remaining cloths. They looked into each other’s eyes again and kissed. This time it was calmer but nonetheless hot. Their tongues fought for dominance and their cocks touched all the time, so that now also Tommy was fully hard. While Tommy was holding Jimmy’s neck all the time, Jimmy touched all over Tommy’s body. First, he stroked his back, until he reached down and caressed his butt cheeks. Tommy whimpered but it felt good. Jimmy got braver and started grabbing harder and pressing them more together.
“Let’s go to the bed.” With this said, Jimmy reached under Tommy’s tights, lifted him up and put him on the bed. Tommy was a little nervous now seeing Jimmy above him, pinning him down on the bed. He trusted him, but he knew it could hurt. Jimmy must have seen his change and kissed him. After some seconds he said: “Don’t worry. We will not do that today. We have filming tomorrow. Today I just want to make you feel good.”
He kissed Tommy’s neck, then collarbone ad went to his nipples. Tommy was a little relieved and enjoyed Jimmy’s touches. And God, he knew what he was doing! After a while of sucking both his nipples they were really sensible and Jimmy went lower. Before Tommy even realized what was going on Jimmy’s lips were on his cock and kissing the tip.
“Fuck.” Escaped his throat. It felt wonderful. And when Jimmy took his whole cock in his mouth and started sucking, Tommy felt like dying. After some sucks he already came. Jimmy swallowed everything and finally released his lover’s cock. He breathed hard but reached up to kiss Tommy, who was still overwhelmed and breathless.
The next moment Jimmy was rubbing his cock on Tommy’s belly to find some relieve himself. But Tommy stopped him. Jimmy excused himself but Tommy replied: “Don’t be sorry, I don’t mind it, but I would rather help you. May I touch you?”
“Of course, I just didn’t know if you want to.” With this he lay down on his back and Tommy lay on his side, his face on Jimmy’s shoulder. His hand found Jimmy’s cock and touched it loosely. “You can touch it harder, it will not break. Just do the same as if you were doing it to yourself.”
Tommy was embarrassed again, he needed to get used to Jimmy saying such things. “Yes really good. Baby, I am already close.” Tommy slid his hand up and down, using some saliva to make it easier. Only Jimmy’s reaction was assuring him that he was doing the right thing. Jimmy’s breathing went faster and when Tommy kissed him again, he came all over Tommy’s hand. They stopped kissing and Jimmy pushed him so that he was lying on top of Jimmy. He just wiped his hand at the bedsheet and took again hold of Jimmy’s neck and they kissed easily. They were both satisfied and happy.
“This was so good.”
“Freaking good. Just wait and see what else we will do.” Jimmy’s tone was playful and Tommy was really looking forward to that.
“But now we should sleep. No matter how much I would love to go for a second round we need to shoot tomorrow.”
“You’re right.” Sometimes he wondered how Jimmy could be this mature at such a young age. They turned to lie on their side and hugged. Tommy cuddled to Jimmy’s chest and Jimmy’s head rested above his. Tommy was so freaking happy. Tomorrow they would shoot some last beautiful scenes and then…well he didn’t know what will happen after this. The world was changing a lot right now, but this change in his and Jimmy’s relationship was something, he would never regret.