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We’ve Got it Bad Don’t We?
The mission was not going well. Atsushi wasn’t sure why Dazai was so adamant on a partnership with the hellhound. Akutagawa constantly belittled Atsushi, it was well known that his hatred for the weretiger ran deep. It always made missions like this impossible. Akutagawa and Atsushi were hiding in a confined space to gather intel and capture one of the listed targets. They were staking out a group of rogue ability users with no affiliation with any organization. Their base was surrounded by too many guards for it to seem like a legal operation.
Atsushi knew his night was going to be dreadful and painfully long. He’d rather file all of Dazai’s neglected paperwork then spend another moment with Akutagawa. A wet cough stirred him from his self-indulging thoughts. He spares a glance at his partner whose pale hand was failing to quiet his harsh breathing.
Atsushi sighed “You should really consider bringing cough drops along.” Akutagawa glared at him, not responding to Atsushi’s suggestion. Atsushi huffed “You know this wouldn’t be so bad if you knew how to communicate in a nonviolent way.”
Akutagawa scowled “And what would you like to communicate Jinko? That you’re weak and annoying?” Atsushi bit back “No-- maybe something simple, like get to know each other since- we are going to be doing this more often.” Akutagawa grunted “We are to gather intel about the enemy, not each other.” Atsushi pressed on “Nothing is happening yet.”
Atsushi’s restlessness was beginning to become contagious. Akutagawa shifted uncomfortably “We should charge in ourselves and demand the target be handed over.” Atsushi pinched the bridge of his nose; his lack of patience would only encourage Akutagawa to take drastic measures. “No..that’s not the plan.” Akutagawa narrowed his eyes.
“Then-- we can effectively proceed with the plan without you talking.” Atsushi shook his head in disbelief. “You are the worst. There’s no getting through to you.” Akutagawa turned away from him then stiffened. “Jinko shut up.”
Atsushi could no longer hold in the inner tantrum surfacing. Akutagawa refused to make things tolerable, it was driving the younger mad. “No Akutagawa- you shut up! You have to be the most infuriating person I’ve ever met! You have the social skills of a rock!”
Akutagawa growled “You are an imbecile; we are being watched!” Suddenly the two boys were approached by a dark silhouetted figure. “Have a nostalgic trip to each-others pasts, just long enough for us to relocate so don’t get too comfortable.” Before either of them could react, they collapsed, eyes rolling into the back of their heads, and bodies convulsing in unison.
Akutagawa's eyes slowly adjusted to his surroundings as he caught a glimpse of Atsushi. Or what he assumed to be a quite younger Atsushi. He was curled on his side, silently sobbing. Akutagawa never experienced an ability that could be so animated yet feel so real. A closer look revealed the chains wrapped around the younger’s arms and legs. He was in a cage. It suited him. He watched cautiously as a man confronted him. Passing through him like he wasn’t there.
Atsushi’s eyes shot open as the man came closer. “Please! Please—I am begging you no more..” His high-pitched cries were almost deafening.
This was Atsushi’s childhood. How fitting. This man must have been the headmaster…from that orphanage Atsushi had mentioned. Akutagawa watched curiously.
Let’s see the root of your despair.
Atsushi could hardly breath in the dust filled air, of what appeared to be a warehouse. He knew that whatever the ability user had done was in full effect.
Almost in a dreamlike state. Yet when his eyes met that of a young Akutagawa—he knew it was a nightmare. A familiar yet unrecognizable voice reached his ears.
“You want to succeed so badly, yet you are so physically weak.” Atsushi turned to see the face of Dazai.
His eyes were empty, and his expression didn’t suit him. Not the Dazai I know. Akutagawa let out a shaky breath “I will prove my worth--.”
Before he could continue Dazai was in front of him. The butt of his gun knocking into Akutagawa’s skull. He was too slow to avoid it. He rubbed at his eyes in an attempt to still his shaky vision. Dazai didn’t wait for Akutagawa to adjust, he plucks him from the ground with a feather-like grip and slams him into the wall.
Atsushi watched in shock as Dazai’s left hand secures around Akutagawa’s neck, cutting off his airway. Akutagawa’s mouth hung open as he desperately tried to take in air. He’s going to kill him. Akutagawa clawed at Dazai’s bandaged wrists trying to break free. Dazai exhales and drops Akutagawa on the ground.
He fell with a loud thud, and gasped for air. When he looked up, Dazai’s boot met his lip. Akutagawa covers his mouth, and tries to stand. A cracking sound echoed throughout the room. Dazai lands a harsh kick to Akutagawa’s ribs causing him to collapse. Dazai steps back observing his broken pupil.
Akutagawa was wheezing now. Dazai bent down and snatched a handful of Akutagawa’s hair. “You can hardly last a full 15 minutes with me. How do you think you’d manage a mission?” Akutagawa’s eyes met his with unshed tears. His voice shook “You—your more powerful than a random foe. I could—with Rashomon…I would win.”
Dazai didn’t look convinced. He knew the session was over, and Akutagawa had a bed already waiting for him in the infirmary. Before releasing his hair and turning on his heels; Dazai takes out his hand gun and fires a bullet at Akutagawa’s leg.
Akutagawa howls in pain. His face contorted into a helpless expression.
It wasn’t admiration Akutagawa felt for Dazai; it was fear.
The room lit up from the moons glare. Akutagawa could see Atsushi struggle in his bonds, as his body shifted into a cub. A tiger cub. He rips through his chains. He growls and lashes out at the shadows. Akutagawa moved into the corner to avoid claws that were intangible to him. The cub stared right through him and at the headmaster.
The man was watching the cub silently. “You are a beast.” He spoke lowly before grabbing the cub by the scruff of his neck and injecting something into his hip. The cub whimpered as all his energy abandoned him. The man tosses him to the ground as he falls unconscious.
When he awakens, he is a boy again. Atsushi presses his knees to his chest, confusion settling in as he inspects the remains of his chains. He perks up at the sight of the headmaster. “What happened?” Atsushi asked. Akutagawa tilted his head. Does he not know his ability?
The man glares at him in disgust “You are a worthless creature, who does not deserve the rights of breath. Nor do I owe you an explanation of the shear abomination that you are.”
Atsushi looks defeated, and his stomach growls.
His hopeful heterochromic eyes widen “Is there enough food for me today?”
Akutagawa glances at the headmaster, the response is without emotion. “No, you will have to wait till tomorrow.” Atsushi’s lower lip trembles “Okay.”
Why does he accept this so easily?
Atsushi flinches at the sound of Dazai’s merciless voice. “Rashomon may have power over mere men, but it is your body and lack of combat that has you beat.”
Akutagawa shudders “Dazai-san, I- can...win.” Atsushi grimaces as he watches Akutagawa slip in his pool of blood. Dazai ignores him as he heads toward the exit of the warehouse.
“If Rashomon is so powerful, then even now in the state you’re in...Could you defend yourself?” He doesn’t wait for the boy's answer.
Dazai disappears behind the door. To Atsushi’s surprise three men, who looked like they just crawled out of hell, entered the room. Atsushi could pick up the sound of his mentors’ playful tone. “If you want to leave the mafia alive~ Just kill the boy. It should be easy enough for he has already been weakened.”
Akutagawa was growing paler by the minute. He tried summoning Rashomon to carry his weight. He coughs a few times before stumbling back at the sight of the men approaching him. Akutagawa eyed them wearily, he hadn’t quite registered the purpose of their company.
It made something in Atsushi break. The men stood above Akutagawa, towering over him. Atsushi had never seen him so small. One of them speak “Let’s make this quick so we can get the fuck out of here. You two hold him still and I’ll break his neck.” Akutagawa snarled at them. None of them had weapons, it was just the physical strength they had over Akutagawa’s slender frame. Akutagawa barely dodges a blow to his side, and pierces one of the men with Rashomon.
The man falls dead the moment, the tendril leaves his body. The two remaining men back away “He’s an ability user?” Atsushi turns to see Dazai leaning on a crate watching intently. Akutagawa uses the distraction to behead the man closest to him. The last of the three kicks Akutagawa’s bleeding leg and he crumbles. He wasn’t going to make it much longer. The man could tell, he uses that to his advantage as he jumps on top of Akutagawa. “You little brat.”
Akutagawa struggles under the man’s weight. His vision was beginning to blur from the blood loss. The man punches Akutagawa in the face, and Akutagawa spits out a tooth. He tries to buck the man off of him when he feels fingers touch his neck. “I could do it myself just by pinning your scrawny ass down.” Akutagawa glares up at the man and with one final attempt stabs him in the back with a weakened black tendril. The man finally keels over.
Akutagawa sluggishly sits up and levels his back with the wall behind him. Dazai’s voice startles him. “My~ my~ what a mess you’ve made Akutagawa-kun.”
Akutagawa’s stony eyes meet Dazai who peers down at him. “Let’s go get you fixed up.” Atsushi is taken aback, at the sight of his mentor. No remorse, no empathy, beating the boy senseless and leaving him to defend himself with no legs to stand on. Was all that power worth it Akutagawa?
Akutagawa shoots awake from the memories and clutches his forehead. Atsushi joins him shortly after. Akutagawa doesn’t make eye contact, yet he could feel Atsushi’s gaze bore into him like he owed him something.
Atsushi knew Akutagawa had it bad, but it didn’t make up for the pain he caused others. Atsushi won’t admit he understands that part of him. He wonders why the raven tries to appear powerful. As if he wasn’t constantly shaking from his core. A closer look would reveal the slight tremble in his every movement. A closer listen would betray the unsteadiness of his breathing. He was sickly, and depraved nurture.
For Atsushi wasn’t the most confident, or skilled. He was afraid and hesitated too often. His grief was hard to overcome. Yet over time the gentleness from the Agency had begun to heal him. He was saved from his hell. The headmaster would never harm him again.
“Atsushi-kun~ are you alive in there?” Atsushi blinked when did Dazai-san arrive? Akutagawa stood up quickly brushing himself off eyes wide and filled with terror. “Dazai-san...we were…”
Dazai holds his hand up to silence him. Akutagawa recoils as if he was physically hit. Atsushi glanced at them and all he could see was that warehouse.
Akutagawa cowering and Dazai the brunt of his fear, of his pain. Part of Atsushi wanted to yell at both of them. He wanted to punch Dazai for being so merciless, and wanted to scold Akutagawa for his impenetrable obsession. “You let the target get away.”
Before Akutagawa could respond Atsushi stepped forward. “We let the target get away. Not just Akutagawa...and we learned something about their ability.” Akutagawa seemed even more apprehensive.
“I was pushed into one of Akutagawa’s memories. I am assuming he was placed into one of mine.” Dazai seemed invested already “Oh how fun~ so you both got a good look at each other's pasts? I gotta say there are easier ways for team bonding.”
Atsushi bit his lip for a moment, he was feeling overwhelmed. He had a hard time seeing past the former Dazai. Who stood in front of him so patient, tender and kind. Akutagawa coughed “I can try to find another lead.”
Dazai's hand rested on Akutagawa’s shoulder causing him and Atsushi both to tense. “Let’s worry about that another day. I’m sure you both have a better understanding of each other then?” Akutagawa scoffed
“I was not surprised to see Atsushi locked up in a cage.”
Atsushi wanted to insult Akutagawa but at least he was out of that cage. The monster that tormented him was no longer of this world. Akutagawa was mere inches away from his. “I didn’t like the smell of that warehouse.” He spoke bitterly. Akutagawa doesn’t respond. It was hard to ignore the look of contempt on Dazai’s face.
Dazai teases “Oh? What warehouse? Was it a failed mission? Akutagawa should have a collection of them stored somewhere in that tiny brain of his.” Akutagawa winces at the statement.
Atsushi calmly shakes his head “Not a mission, but it was a sorry excuse of a lesson taught by a very rotten teacher.” The amount of venom in his tone was enough for Dazai to say no more. Akutagawa glares at him “You wouldn’t know the purpose.”
Atsushi doesn’t think before closing the space between him and the raven. “Nothing justifies abuse.” Akutagawa sneered at him. Atsushi grabs his cravat pulling him forward, their noses almost touching.
“You are a fool, if you think that’s acceptable. It’s probably why you are so toxic. I’ve suffered but I persevered and became better. I didn’t take it out on everyone else. I didn’t beat others into what was beaten into me.”
Akutagawa curled his lip “You were offered a different life then me. You can judge me all you want for I don’t care what you think of me Jinko.”
Atsushi very much wanted to punch him right then. But that would be counterproductive. He didn’t care that the action would end up with him being skewered; hopefully Dazai would intervene. With his face beat red and all the strength he could muster he wraps his arms around Akutagawa. He could feel the older tense.
Atsushi hugs him tighter, stifling a growl from Akutagawa. “What are you doing?” He hisses Rashomon twitching to life. Atsushi looks up at him, eyes locking onto him. “It’s physical contact without pain, something obviously foreign to you.” He then steps to avoid a tendril. Akutagawa cheeks were flamed.
“As if I need something so sentimental. That is for the weak.”
Dazai turns to them, eyes meek “You both need some rest. And I have a bridge to jump from. We will discuss the threat tomorrow.” Dazai leaves them alone as they glare at him. This was his fault after all.
Atsushi surveys Akutagawa for a moment, wondering how to make things less awkward and quickly. “I don’t believe your resentment toward the world makes you bad, it’s the decisions you make. I’d like to think-that with a little guidance you can find solace in living peacefully. Your occupation can’t be avoided- you dug that grave yourself. But you can change your perspective, there’s more to life than blood, and death.” Akutagawa frowns deeply “I wasn’t offered a life beyond that. So why should I have to change?”
Atsushi exhales, and rubs the nape of his neck “I’m not telling you; you have to change for the world…I’m asking you to change for yourself.” Akutagawa stared at him confused. “Why Jinko?” Atsushi titled his head “Hmm?” Akutagawa huffs dramatically “Why do you care?” Atsushi didn’t know how to answer that, but a sincere grin meets his lips. “We are partners.” Hopelessly troubled and broken Akutagawa closes his eyes. Accepting the weretigers words, as if he’d been waiting to hear them.