Chapter Text
Sun Valley, California, was a loud city. The noise sometimes seemed to be deafening, and those who were not used to it would probably go crazy with so many traffic, constructions, loud music, people’s and city sounds at once. The city seemed to be always growing and expanding, since the 56,860 estimated population apparently just wasn’t enough. The houses were overpriced there, and the hot wave was unbearable most of the time, specially on a wednesday afternoon in August, like that one. But, to be fair, it was always hot in Sun Valley. The city got it’s name because of the amount of sunny days it had per year, and it was known for it’s overall youthful population.
Gwen used to think that being a citizen of Sun Valley was like being invisible. Everybody there looked the same and they had no interest in their neighbor’s lives and wellbeing. They were all too concerned about themselves to ever think about another soul — unless it was for gossip. She was born and raised in southern California, so it was something she was used to, but an elitist city like Sun Valley sometimes would still surprise her. Usually in a negative way.
Gwen was living in a big yellow house on Rainbow Street for five years now, which was located in a good neighborhood, but she barely knew anyone there. Although the houses were inviting with their well-kept yards and white picket fences, the residents peered out from behind their curtains and often seemed too frightened to interact with people they didn’t known, even when those had been their neighbors for years. They would never lose their taste for drama and gossip, though, anyone could count on that.
Sun Valley and Rainbow Street were not Gwen’s first choice, but she couldn't argue with the numbers on the internet that ensured that the city and that neighborhood were the perfect place to raise a child. She also could never argue with her husband, and the last word was his. That's how she ended up trapped in Sun Valley, living the perfect life, or something like that. She wasn’t the one to complain about that, though, because she had Hope. Hope was a charming little 5 year old girl, her daughter. The child with wavy golden hair, pale skin and big brown eyes was the reason why Gwen tolerated all the strangeness of the city where they lived and the fact that she couldn't count on anyone else in the world. Hope was very smart, even too much for a child her age, and that was one of the things her mother was most proud of. Gwen couldn't say she had done many good things in life, but that one great thing that came out of her was perfect and was enough to make her whole existence have a purpose.
“Don’t tell daddy you ate cake, ok?” She asked the girl as they were opening the white gate in front of the big yellow house together. “It’s almost dinner time and he will get mad.” Gwen held it open for her daughter to go in first.
“I won’t tell.” Hope promised. She was smart enough to keep promises when she wanted to. “I don’t like it when daddy gets mad.”
“Hey Gwen!” They both turned around when they heard her name. “Hi, Hope!”
It was Adam Miller, one of the few neighbors they would frequently see around and talk too, but most of it was because he was Hope’s preschool teacher and would always check on them when they crossed paths. Adam’s family lived a couple of houses away from them, and he and his wife Sarah were always friendly. The problem was, last time Gwen saw him, Adam offered her a position to work at the school. Something small, but with big opportunities for the future, if she was committed. Early childhood education was her specialty, although she was out of the market for many years now, since she got married, and he knew about that. Even though she seemed interested when he told her about the job, when the principal called her and scheduled a interview, she never showed up and had been avoiding him since then.
“Do you need any help?” He pointed to the few shopping bags she was carrying on her arms.
“Oh, no, don’t worry about it, it’s just a couple of things we needed for dinner.” Gwen really didn’t need or wanted any help. “Thank you, thought. How are the kids?” She made up some small talk just to be polite.
“Getting so big.” Adam smiled. “The little one is almost two already. You guys should come over someday, let’s have dinner together.”
She nervously looked around, really wanting to get rid of the conversation to get inside. “Sure. Just tell me when, I will talk to George.”
“What about you, big girl? Are you ready for kindergarten?” He turned his attention to Hope, who was just a couple of steps behind her mother.
“I don’t know.” The girl shrugged. “I told mommy I just wanted to go back to regular school.” She really had been saying that for the past few days.
“School is going to start in a couple of weeks, you have to be ready. And you will love it, don’t worry.” The neighbor laughed and his eyes went up to meet Gwen’s. “And since we’re talking about school, Tamara told me you never showed up for the interview. She really has a good spot for you, Gwen. Call her.”
She felt the color disappear from her face and then come back quickly when her cheeks suddenly started to feel hot. Obviously he would address that subject, that was the reason why she was avoiding him in every possible way she could, but still, he had taken her by surprise before she could make an excuse and disappear again for months. She felt ashamed, invaded, vulnerable and scared at the same time. It wasn’t the time for a conversation like that one.
“I don’t think I will be able to take the position right now, this is why I didn’t go to the interview. We have a lot going on in our lives and no help at all right now.” Gwen said, even though it wasn’t the entire truth. “I really gotta go now, Adam. It was nice to see you, have a great evening.” She hurried to end the conversation and he noticed it.
“Hey!” Adam reached out to hold her arm when she was turning around. This time she felt a chill rise up her spine and take over her entire body. “Sorry if I pushed, it’s because you looked really interested when we talked about it before.”
Gwen pulled her arm back quickly. “Adam, please, I don’t want to talk about this right now.” He didn’t know exactly what it was, but there was something in her eyes. Something that looked a lot like a cry for help. Her mouth opened and closed again as if she had something else to say, but couldn’t, and when she finally spoke, it didn’t seem right. “Please, hug Sarah and the kids for me.”
Adam stared into her eyes one more time, wondering if there was really something strange in her behavior or if he was overly suspicious of what was none of his business. “Sure. Say hi to George for me, please.” Deciding that the second option was probably the right one, he waved to her and Hope and left.
Gwen turned around and closed her eyes for a second. Her heart was beating fast and as she took steps towards the house and reached out to turn the door handle, she realized that her hand was shaking. With Hope right next to her, she couldn’t let her current situation show.
Maybe it would be ok. Maybe she was safe.
“Hey, we’re back.” Her heart was beating so loud, she couldn't even hear her own voice clearly, but she pretended everything was normal anyway.
“What did Adam want?” He showed up so fast that it was impossible not to picture him staring out of the hall’s windows, behind the curtains, like an authentic Sun Valley resident. Of course he saw everything, he would always see everything.
“Nothing.” Gwen decided to keep pretending. “He was asking Hope about her new school.” She searched for her daughter with her eyes. The girl was standing at the entrance to the living room, looking in their direction. Her big dark brown eyes — just like her mother’s — were even more wide.
“I don’t think so.” George shot his wife with his worst suspicious gaze. “Was he offering you a job again?”
“No.” Gwen answered fast.
“You’re a liar.” He approached her, moving like a snake, analyzing it’s prey, about to strike. “Did you tell him I said no? Tell him I won’t let you work at that filthy school. Specially not now that Hope is finally out of there.”
“It’s none of his business.” Calmly, she dodged her husband and made her way to the kitchen, placing the groceries on the big table. She had decided that the conversation wasn’t healthy anymore and wasn’t going to insist on it or try to explain herself.
The problem was George, he would never let it go.
She could still remember the first time they’ve met, at a new year’s eve party, seven years ago. He was a tall blonde man and his green eyes used to be so engaging. They were both very young, in their early twenties, but George already had a comfortable position on his father's company and a bright future ahead of him, while Gwen was struggling through college and had no family backing her up. He couldn’t take his eyes of her that night, and even though she wasn’t very interested in the beginning, he didn’t let go. He insisted until she opened up. The way he was a gentleman, thoughtful, knew how to court her and impress her, and seemed genuinely enchanted by her, made her change her mind. They fell in love really quick, dated for a year and got married at the beach in September. Their life as newlyweds was like a fairy tale, they travelled to many places together, celebrated their love and supported each other. It was easy, they were in love and they only needed to worry about one another, until Gwen got pregnant the following year. George then proved to be a possessive man. It started with doctors, but it quickly escalated to their friends and she had to quit her job. Then, even before Hope was born, his own family wasn’t able to visit anymore. When the baby was finally there, it was easy for Gwen to notice that sometimes he was even jealous of the attention she gave to their own daughter. That was when it was impossible to deny that George was a sick man.
“Do you think you can fool me?” He grabbed one of her arms to make her turn around, and his body pressed hers against the kitchen table. “That man has been trying to fuck you for months now and you’re flirting back now?”
Gwen ignored him and looked away. Ignoring him was her best skill on those days.
His face was so close to hers that she could smell the alcohol he had been drinking when they were away. “Are you drunk? It’s 6 o’clock and we didn’t even have dinner yet.” But she wasn’t really good at staying silent.
“Shut up.” He hit his fist really hard against the wooden table, making her jump in shock when she realized that the kitchen object could easily be replaced by her face or any part of her body anytime soon. His hands grabbed her waist to make her uncomfortable and unable to move.
It wasn’t until their daughter was 2 that the physical assaults really started. Not against the child, but against Gwen. She used to try to justify it, saying to herself that he was frustrated because her attention was always on Hope and never completely his anymore. And frequently would find herself looking for the man she fell in love with, hoping he was still there, somehow. But deep down, George didn't need any reason, he was just taking it out on her, sometimes due to alcohol, other times just because he knew he could.
Now she didn’t justify anymore. When he started with his aggressive behavior, the only thing Gwen was concerned about was her daughter.
“Please, stop.” She whispered to him, touching both his arms to try to make him loosen his grip around her body. “Adam was just being nice. You know him, he has a wife and a family.”
“It doesn’t mean anything.” George stopped her abruptly. He was still being loud.
Gwen moved her hands to his face. His fingers were digging into the skin on her waist and it was starting to hurt. “Please, babe. You’re hurting me.” She didn’t feel like treating him nicely, but she had to. Her world gravitated around him and whatever he wanted. Not because she loved him, but because she was mortally afraid of him.
“You hurt me everyday.” He finally loosened his grip and grabbed her wrists to get rid of her hands on his face. “When you make up excuses to leave our home to go fuck other man.” He had a change on his voice tone now. Instead of suspicious and angry, he was choked up. “You’re a whore, Gwen.”
“I’m not.” She defended herself, even though she should only ignore him. “I don’t do that. Don’t say that.” Out of the corner of her eyes, Gwen saw Hope's scared face peek out from behind the kitchen’s door. Her little girl could see and hear everything.
“Yes you are. I married a worthless whore.” The man laughed at himself, even though he had no sense of humor in that moment.
“I’m not a whore.” Again, she stood up for herself. She didn’t want her daughter to think she couldn’t do it.
But it was a bad judgment call. She should’ve just kept quiet and consent. What difference would it make if he verbalized how much he thought she was whore or anything like that? She regretted her attitude the next second, when he pulled her by the arm and pushed her body hard against the hallway wall on the other side. She groaned in pain and her head spun. For a few seconds she couldn't even breathe, because of the strong push and collision.
“Shut the fuck up.” He yelled at her. His hands rising instinctively to hold her neck. The fingers closing and pressing against her skin to block any air passage. “You’re worthless. You had nothing when I met you, I gave you everything and you’re still nothing. You might as well just be a pile of garbage that I have to deal with everyday. I hope you always remember that.”
He had done it so many times before, that he knew exactly how to make her quickly lose all her strength, but he loosened his grip right before she passed out.
Gwen chocked and coughed desperately. She had to take several deep breaths to try to meet the demand for air that her lungs urgently needed. Her weak body slid against the wall, but George held her tight by her shirt and pushed her back against the hard surface behind her once more. This time, Gwen’s head hit the wall hard and made a loud noise that was followed by a low squeak sound. She opened her eyes, just to find Hope down on the floor, near the couch in the living room, maybe 20 feet away from them. The girl's eyes were wide with fear and both her hands were pressed against her mouth, preventing herself from repeating the frightened squeak sound that just caught her mother's attention.
Watching that broke Gwen’s heart more then any trauma that could ever happen to herself. She started to fight George, pushing her body against his and trying to use her hands to reach his face, but he was taller and way stronger than her, and her effort and struggle seemed to excite him even more. She looked into his eyes and all she could see was evil. He wasn’t mad anymore, frustrated, or even sad, he just wanted to hurt her for the pleasure of causing pain.
George held her face with one hand and dug his finger tips on her cheek, like hurting her was something therapeutic to him. “I can’t stand you anymore. I hate you so much.” He said. Although it was a strong statement, he had no emotions showing on his face.
“George…” Her breaking voice got his attention, but he reacted grabbing her hair and pulling it, making her turn around to face the wall. “You’re doing it again.” She could barely speak through the pain. “In front of her.”
Suddenly he stopped. His grip on her hair loosened and his body wasn’t pressing against hers anymore. Gwen took another long deep breath before slowly turning around, afraid to make sudden movements. George was staring at Hope and the girl was now looking away and hugging the leather couch as if it could save her life.
The mother thought that maybe she had touched something in his heart that made him realize that his behavior was unacceptable. Or if that wasn’t it, than maybe he was ashamed of his aggressive side, at least in front of Hope, which would be a good sign. But both options were very wrong, and she fooled herself until the last second, when he grabbed her hair again and pulled her down the hallway with him. Gwen screamed, not because of the pain she was feeling, but because he was heading towards the living room and her daughter.
“No. Leave her alone.” She yelled, but she didn’t want to seem too desperate or it could be worse for the girl. Anything she would ask for, he would do the opposite now, and she knew it.
Upon reaching the other room, he forcefully shoved Gwen on the floor. Her back hit the coffee table and the sharp pain prevented her from breathing right or trying to get up. Then George’s strong arms promptly lifted Hope from the floor and carried her around while the girl screamed in fear.
“Mommy!” She cried when her father walked towards the closet under the staircase. He opened the door. “No, please, daddy.” Hope whined a little more.
“You stay there and don’t make a noise. This is a conversation for adults, it’s not for children.” He carefully pushed her little body toward the closet and pulled the string to turn the light on because she was too small to reach. “If you’re a good girl, I will open for you soon, ok?” And then closed the door and turned the key to lock it from the outside.
George turned around to find Gwen still on the floor, in between the coffee table and the couch. “Get up.” He ordered.
“I can’t.” She cried.
“Get up!” He repeated the order louder.
She had a brief internal conflict, pondering whether to get up or to stay and let him hurt her right there. He would hurt her either way. Even though there was no point in doing so, Gwen gathered all her strength to hold on to the little table and slowly rise up from the floor. Her whole body was protesting and trembling, and the sharp pain on her back could easily be something very serious.
George moved towards her and she almost collapsed back to the ground. She felt the tears streaming down her face even though she couldn’t feel anything but emotional exhaustion and physical pain. At least Hope was safe now.
His hands went straight to her face, and he desperately tried to get rid of her tears. “Stop crying. Why are you crying?” He asked, like that question made any sense.
“You’re going to kill me one day.” She sobbed and he hugged her as if he wasn’t the one literally causing her pain.
“No I won’t. I love you.” George turned her face to him and kissed her lips as she cried. “Regardless of who you are and all the shit you do, I still love you. You should be grateful and not crying.”
Gwen stayed quiet. Paralyzed, like she couldn’t move. Suddenly his tongue invaded her mouth and all she wanted to do was throw up. One of his hands held behind her neck to control her and the other one went down her body to grab her ass.
“Stop it.” She broke the unwanted kiss, but he didn’t listen to her and went right back to sucking and biting her mouth. She knew that stage of his rage too. After the yelling was the hitting, and the hitting would always turn him on to the point were he would make her have sex with him after, just so he could control and hurt her a little more. Physically, emotionally and mentally.
“Come on, babe, can’t we just forget about it?” He was using his charming voice, trying to manipulate her, and he used to be very good at it, but it didn’t work with her anymore. “I’m sorry we fought, let me just make it up to you now.”
“I don’t want to.” Gwen tried to get him to let her go, but that only made him tighten his arms around her even more.
She fought a bit more, but he quickly got tired of it and one of his hands flew, hitting her right in the face. “You have to!”
She staggered to her feet and got completely dizzy. At that moment, Gwen decided to give up the fight, at least for that night. She allowed George to carry her to the bedroom and did not open her mouth to contradict him anymore. However, something inside her seemed to have had enough of it, and although she had been preparing herself to get out of that situation sooner or later since day one, she was just now realizing she may not have a later for very long. She needed to act while she could, and it had to be now.
***
It was still dawn when Gwen got out of bed. The truth was, she hadn't slept even for a second that night, she just pretended she did. She had been sleeping next to George for 7 years now, and it became easy for her to know exactly when he was on the deepest stage of his sleep, and as soon as he was slowly and calmly breathing by her side, she quietly left the bed and the room.
It took her only 2 days, since the last time he hit her, to set up a plan, although she wished she had more time to figure out the parts she wasn’t so sure about. She took some money out of their joint bank account during those 2 days, making up convincing excuses — like money for school supplies for Hope, groceries, clothes and other things — so he wouldn’t suspect anything, then she hid it under the loose tile in the closet under the staircase. He wouldn’t have any reason to get in there for those 2 days. It wasn’t a lot of money, but it was enough to get somewhere else.
Gwen wore her long black overcoat over a sweatshirt and jeans, and threw any piece of clothing that was easy to get to in the closet inside a backpack, along with other stuff. She pulled her hair up in a ponytail and went straight to Hope’s bedroom. The girl was sound sleep, so she took the time to grab clothes for her too, and other items. When she was done, she had 2 backpacks and a sleeping child in her arms, whom she carefully grabbed out of bed.
Gwen took no bank cards with her, she asked for no help and walked to the train station to avoid attracting attention, despite the weight she carried with her body that was still hurting. She even left her phone and car behind and took a burner with her.
When she got to the train station, there was only one person she needed to call, but she only did it when she and Hope were comfortable in their seats and the train was leaving the station and the creepy city of Sun Valley behind.
“Hello?” The sleepy voice on the other end of the line seemed confused, but it was understandable. It was past 4 o’clock in the morning there, and probably after 7 where her friend was, if she was getting the timezone right. Also, nobody knew that phone number.
“Liz?” Gwen whispered. “Liz, it’s me, Gwen.”
“Gwen?” The other women suddenly became very attentive. “W-what happened? Are you ok?”
She knew why her friend was so surprised and acting like she knew something really bad was happening. Gwen hadn’t talked to her in years, and the last time they spoke was a long conversation when her friend tried to tell her about how George was an abusive husband and she should leave him. “I’m leaving him.” She said. There was a painful lump in her throat. “Can we stay with you for a couple of days?”
It took Liz a couple of seconds to process that, but it was only because she was still sleepy. Her friend was really leaving an extremely abusive relationship. She didn’t have to think too much. “Of course. Come to New York, we will figure it out when you get here.”
“I’m on a train.” Gwen told her. “Hope is with me. It will take us a few days to get there, but we will. This is my number for now, but don’t give it to anyone else and don’t tell anyone about me.”
“Don’t worry, I’ve got your back.” The other one sighed and they were silent for a few seconds. “Hey, I’m really proud of you, ok? Everything will be ok, now. You just have to get here.”
Gwen held back a sob. “I’m really scared.” She held her sleeping child tight against her body. The little girl was unbothered and unaware of their escape.
“I know you are, but not for long. You don’t need to be scared anymore.” Liz had planned those sentences years ago when she went visiting her friend and realized her husband had an alarming behavior. He was really good at pretending, but she saw right through him anyway. But now she was scared for Gwen too and had no idea what could be coming for her in the future.
They were friends since they’re teenagers. Liz had a troubled family and Gwen had no one, so they stuck together in school and became best friends. That was their reality until George came into the picture. Liz was there when they met and was present in the beginning of their relationship, but he shut her out pretty quickly when they got married and seeing how he had changed the last time she and her husband Derek visited was the last straw.
“I will be there soon. I love you. And I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to be sorry. I love you too.”
***
They left California on a Saturday and spent the whole next day inside of the train, arriving in Houston, Texas, on Monday. It wasn’t easy to keep Hope entertained, specially because the little girl wasn’t understanding the situation at all, and there was not really much Gwen could do about it without traumatizing her even more.
As soon as they left the train in Texas, they got a hotel room so they could shower and rest a little bit. Gwen was certain that, by that time, George and the authorities were already looking for them, so she used the hotel bathroom to bleach her hair and dye it blonde. Not a golden blonde like Hope's, but platinum blonde, quite different from what she used to look like before. She just didn’t want to look like herself anymore, she wanted a new beginning and a new life, away from all that she used to be. Plus, she couldn’t complain about the results.
They spent a few hours in the bedroom and then left to the bus station because their journey was only beginning. They still had 17 hours to spend inside a bus to Georgia, and another train ride to New York. They were in line, bus tickets in hand, when her burner phone rang and she saw it was Liz.
“I’m about to get in the bus.” Gwen said when she picked up.
“Then don’t.” Her friend sounded afraid. “He knows you’re coming here Gwen, and he’s going to be waiting for you. I don’t know what he’s capable of, but he has been terrorizing us.”
At that point, she had already pulled Hope out of the bus line with her. Of course he knew, George always knew everything, he would never leave her alone, who was she trying to fool? “What do I do, Liz? I can’t go back know. I’m afraid he’s going to—” She stopped herself from saying it because she saw Hope’s big scared eyes staring at her.
“First, get rid of this phone.” Liz said. “Then get on a bus, find a small town where you don’t know anyone and no one knows you, hide for a while. Don’t call me, he’s watching me and Derek.”
Gwen was completely lost, her whole plan had just failed and her husband made it pretty clear he was capable of everything to get to her. Maybe Liz was right and she could in fact hide in a small town, but there was no guarantee he wouldn’t find her. She was even more scared now, but when she looked down and saw her daughter’s frightened face, she realized she had no other choice, she needed to try. “It’s ok, baby, we’re just gonna find another bus.” She caressed the girl’s hair. “Ok, Liz, I will try.”
“Be very careful, Gwen, and take care of Hope.” Her friend said before they hang up. There was no time for a proper goodbye, she needed to get rid of that phone.
Gwen looked around. There was a few other busses leaving at the same time, but she didn’t have a lot to choose from, so she opted for whatever state she had heard less about in her life, and end up inside of a bus to Oklahoma City. The travel was a full 11 hours and 15 minutes, but she wasn’t planning on staying until the last stop, she was going to study the map and choose a small town to be her new destination. Hopefully, someone nice would help her with that in one of the stops.
“What about Madill?” Mother and daughter were looking at the map together to kill some time before the bus departed, but the little girl couldn’t read yet, so Gwen was telling her all the towns names.
“I don’t like it.” Hope frowned and they laughed.
“Hmm… What about Ada?” She asked and pointed to the map. “Look, there’s a town named Chickasha.”
Hope giggled. “That’s a funny name.”
“What about Humberstone?” Gwen looked at her daughter and they both raised their eyebrows. “Sounds mysterious, doesn’t it?”
“I think I like this one.” The girl smiled.
Gwen grabbed the pen and drew a big blue circle around the name of the town on the map. She was definitely going to ask about that one.