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Invisible threads are the strongest ties. ~ Friedrich Nietzche
As he lied in the darkness, his eyes and jagan closed, Hiei listened to quiet, even, deep breaths perforating the silence. His hands of their own volition tangled in the long, black tresses belonging to the man sleeping with such ease in the fire demon’s arms. With the heavy musk of their union still lingering in the air, Hiei wished he could join his companion in the realm of dreams. His thoughts were not conducive to restfulness, however. They were mired in things that weighed—the fears and doubts in his heart that he would never admit to another soul aloud.
“Hiei,” Yusuke whispered, soft, warm breath ghosting across Hiei’s neck, still very much in an unconscious state.
Hiei couldn’t help releasing a sharp breath in response. Being very careful, he removed his hands from Yusuke’s hair and slowly wrapped his arms around the young half-demon’s back, who had draped himself across the front of Hiei’s body in the bed they shared. Yusuke seemed to cling tighter to Hiei at the fire demon’s cautious embrace.
Hiei could scarcely name what made him accept Yusuke into his bed, the young half-demon somehow burrowing himself even further into Hiei’s life. Into his soul. They had traversed a long, meandering way from enemies to comrades to friends. And now to whatever they were.
Yusuke had only returned from the Human World to Demon World a few weeks ago, but wouldn’t really tell Hiei why—the fire demon sensed an enormous amount of pain behind the reason, though, and that was why Hiei had yet to pry. He did somehow sense that the reason had to do with that human woman Keiko, and Hiei was very reluctant to touch the issue. If Yusuke revealed his reason to Hiei, then so be it. If Yusuke never did, that was fine as well.
Hiei didn’t understand why this force of nature, this young half-demon, chose him to be his safe harbor. Hiei was anything but safe, and he knew he would be no good for Yusuke in the end. If the human woman had somehow hurt Yusuke, Hiei himself would only end up hurting him a hundred fold—because if there was anything Hiei did well, beyond fighting, it was tainting the things he cared about most.
He knew he should step away from Yusuke and never look back. He knew he should stop whatever madness had taken ahold and was currently choking the both of them. But he just couldn’t bring himself to let Yusuke go now that he was here in Hiei’s grasp.
A quiet, barely there sigh fell from Hiei’s lips as he clutched Yusuke tighter to himself.
Whatever defined them and their relationship at present, he found himself incredibly unwilling to dissolve the strength of their bond. Forged in trust and in pain, the years between them held too much for Hiei to just let go.
“Forgive me, Yusuke,” Hiei murmured into the shuddering, yawning dark.
End
(for now)