Chapter Text
Tahiri Veila held her legs to her chest as she sat alone in her bed. Months earlier, she, Jaina, Jacen and Anakin were on a recon mission, to destroy the voxyn queen and one by one, a member of their strike team was lost...as well as Anakin. Outside, she had finished her grieving but inside, it felt like a part of her was dead as well. Anakin was her other half; she knew that.
If he had lived, probably in time, she and Anakin could have been more than just boyfriend and girlfriend...but it wasn't likely now. She sobbed again, holding her legs tighter against her chest, crying.
There’s no need to cry anymore, my love , a voice whispered, as Tahiri’s head suddenly shot up, searching the room. As far as she knew, she told everyone to leave her alone…even Jaina, who knew she needed to be alone. Tahiri sniffed again, biting her lip. She knew she was alone, but somehow, whoever was there, felt so familiar…
Anakin , she questioned, but knew it wasn’t true. Faintly, she could see someone but she wasn’t sure. Tahiri rubbed her eyes and when her eyes cleared, she saw his figure, kneeling in front of her, scars around his arms and cheek.
“Jacen, I don’t understand…what are you…?”
Before she could say anything else, he leaned up and kissed her. It felt strange at first…this was her boyfriend’s brother she was kissing, but somehow, it felt familiar. She kissed deeper, her tears subsiding, when she finally realized…She backed away, looking at him, as he stared back at her.
Tahiri tilted her head, squinting her eyes, “Anakin?”
Jacen smiled roguishly, “Don’t ask me how, Tahiri…I could never be able to explain and you would never understand…” He bent his head down, kissing her hands, ‘but I’m back, baby and it’s gonna be alright.’
Half of her was happy for Anakin back but in her brother’s body…it was just weird. She’d known Jacen for years, she’d never thought of him like this…well, once. Theoretically, she always imagined her first time would ‘actually’ be with Anakin; with him physically lying beside her. In a way he was, but not really.
“I’m not sure, Anakin, Jacen – I don’t even know what I’m supposed to call you?” she panicked.
Jacen shrugged, reaching up and caressing her cheek. She smiled, kissing his hands, staring into his brown eyes. She and Anakin had always been bonded through the Force and since she had known him for so long, she should have been able to tell without using the Force…
Tahiri traced the curves of Jacen’s face, closing her eyes, imagining it was Anakin’s. She felt Jacen kiss her neck, his hand lightly touching her sides. She sniffed again, as she allowed her hands to fall from Jacen’s face to his midsection.
The Jedi looked down, loosening his tunic and once it was loose and stripped away, Tahiri opened her eyes. She swept her blond hair to her left shoulder, before leaning down and kissing his midsection.
Jacen gasped, opening his eyes as well and when he opened the upper part of Tahiri’s tunic. And before him was a beautiful goddess with bright green eyes. Judging from her slight hesitation to continue, Jacen knew she still wasn’t comfortable or sure about the situation. Unsure if Anakin’s spirit was really inside of his body.
Slowly, Jacen bought up his hand, caressing her cheek again. Their lips touched briefly, as if a taste, then the kiss deepened again. His hand moved from her cheek to her hair, supporting her neck as the two fell back onto the bed…
Tahiri stared at the ceiling as Jacen slept beside her. The young blonde needed a re-cap of the situation. Jacen was alive, obviously, because there he was, sleeping next to her or was it Anakin? When he told her that Anakin’s spirit was inside of him, she wanted to believe him but it seemed almost impossible or likely for that matter. When he died, his body didn’t disappear which was strange since it seemed like Anakin had already found peace with death.
Tahiri bit her lip, looking at Jacen’s face. What was going to happen when he woke up? Would he remember the night they shared? Even if he didn’t, it would still be very awkward between them. There was no use lying to herself and saying nothing happened, and that she felt nothing. But what she felt was mixed up with every other emotion she was feeling. Jacen turned, wrapping his arms around her waist.
“Oooh!” she cried, biting her lip again and mumbling, “You’ve really done it this time, Tahiri.” She rolled her eyes, trying to remove Jacen’s arm from her waist, hopeful not to wake him. Unfortunately, he did. He moved, catching her arm as she made the movement and opened his eyes. Tahiri smiled, “Um, hello – Anakin?”
He frowned, “No, Jacen. He left…he couldn't stay for long."
She smiled, unconsciously pulling the blanket over herself, “Really? He left…so, it’s just you?”
She was hoping it was Anakin beside her, his spirit still with her but knowing it was Jacen, made her feel nervous and awkward.
Jacen smirked as he noticed her blush, “He left while you were sleeping; not before while – well, you know what happened.”
“Of course.” She mumbled, looking down at her hands, “So, you don’t remember what happened?”
When he didn’t answer right away, she went on, “Well, it doesn’t matter…I think I have enough memory for the both of us.”
Jacen gazed up at her, looking again into her eyes. Only this time when Tahiri looked back, she didn’t see Anakin’s eyes, but Jacen’s want. As he brought up his hand to her cheek again, Tahiri flinched away but remembered it was Jacen, not Anakin lying next to her.
He whispered, “Anakin didn’t erase my memory of what happened, Tahiri.” Before saying anything else, he slid his thumb down her lips.
She kissed it, reveling in his warmth. This was crazy. This was her boyfriend’s brother but his touch affected her…it didn’t make sense. “Why?” she questioned, her voice hoarse and ragged.
“Why didn’t he erase your memory?”
Jacen shrugged, “I don’t know, but you know what?” Tahiri felt the same passion he felt, leaning closer towards him. He smiled, leaning close to her, whispering, “I don’t care.”
Tahiri grabbed his waist and kissing him back and then pulled away abruptly. No, this is wrong ! It shouldn’t be like this , she cried, it couldn’t be like this. Jacen placed his chin on her shoulder. He knew it was wrong, too, but there was no way he could go back to seeing her as a kid. Not even a kid, she was a beautiful young woman. She grabbed her robe, putting it on as she stood up from the bed, pacing about the room. Her eyes met his briefly, but she quickly averted them, staring at the floor.
“Tahiri…” Jacen started, as she suddenly looked back at him, “What are we going to do then? Deny this?”
“Yes, that’s exactly what we should do. Deny this because nothing happened.” Tahiri snapped, glaring at him. She huffed again, calming down somewhat, “It’s just better that way for the both of us.” She turned, looking at him again, “I think you should go. Your parents deserve to know that you’re alright and have found your way home.”
Jacen then smirked, remembering his current state, “Um Tahiri, would you mind turning around?” She only rolled her eyes, turning her back to him as he slid out of bed, grabbing his things.
~~
Tahiri felt like kicking herself as she dressed, fixing her hair. She’d just wished Anakin were alive, she wouldn’t feel this way about his brother. What else was she supposed to do? She and Jacen shared something special…Special. A small smile curled her lips, remembering what happened but suddenly frowned again. This was impossible…even if they did get together, they would have to hide it from everyone they loved. No, it would still be impossible.
Impossible.
She tied her hair into a braid as Jacen appeared, clothed in the traditional robe and Jedi cloak. Tahiri tilted her head, looking at his reflection in the mirror. He smiled cock-eyed, straightening his robes, running a hand through his hair, “Well, I guess I should be going.”
“Oh wait, Jacen!” Tahiri cried, bolting up from her chair and running to his side, kissing his cheek. He looked at her incredulously, thinking maybe she had changed her mind about their pact. “No, I haven’t…that was just for luck. Um, as far as I know, they’re on Borealis. You know where that is?”
Jacen shrugged, smiling, “Not really, but I’ll figure it out.” His smile widened, looking into her green eyes. They were beautiful eyes; she was beautiful but he had to resist the urge to…
Once that thought occurred to him, Jacen loosened Tahiri’s grip around his waist and stepped back, “Well, I think that’s my cue to leave.” She smiled slightly. Jacen bit his lip, staring back at her. She looked so innocent and sweet…
No, leave now, Solo before you get in even more trouble , he conscience shouted. He followed his own advice and left.
tbc