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Mina sat uncharacteristically still at the edge of her queen-sized bed, but her wet, untrimmed hair covered half of her face moved as the cold air from the air-con blew in her face.
It had been exactly 7 hours since she was discharged from the infirmary after spending more than three weeks cooped up in her room accompanied by endless, irritating beeps. She swore she tried to make her peace with the aggravating sound. She never did.
Mina could live without the constant reminder of her third chance at life and her impending mortality intricately weaving itself into her fate and existence. She wondered if she was thankful that the chip didn’t budge, and a small part of her wished she’d better off be dead.
Her room—bare and monochromatic—was no different than the ward. The white walls only reflected her life in the facility, her life she dedicated to Rugal. But the air-con whirred overhead reminded her of the ECG machine. She told Gwangcheol to help fix it since he was better at fixing electronics than any of them. The last time she heard anything about the progress, Gwangcheol fessed up that he had asked Bradley to take up the job… which he obviously didn’t. And then her head was smashed against the wall. Her body bloodied and bruised strewn on the cold cement floor, which absolutely didn’t help the case either.
She shuddered at the memory she desperately wanted to bury.
The sound bugged her out of her wits, and the frustration built up within her mind. Her chest heavy and ached every time she tried to take a breath. For the first time in a very long time, everything was confusing and she was hopeless. She shut her eyes, trying her best to push everything to the back of her mind. Mina breathed in and it felt shallow. She was stuck.
Mina hadn’t been outside in a very long time, and the burning and throbbing sensation she felt at her ankle became the only thing that stood in her way to do anything. Her mind was sinking deeper and deeper into the dark abyss by the second, leaving her to control her emotions through her fists, and unbeknownst to her, she slammed her back onto her bed.
She forcefully sunk her back deeper into the bed, feeling the springs digging into her skin through the thin white sheets.
Frustration. Annoyance. Hopelessness. Hatred. Anxiety. Dejection.
Mina hated the fact she couldn’t serve her only purpose which was to work with her team and defeat the evil and wretched Hwang Deukgu. But there was no way for her to do something or contribute to their cause because Bradley told her that there was no way she could do anything strenuous for at least 5 months.
They should have told her what their plan was. At least, she would be prepared.
Her mind fixated on the sound of a car honking angrily outside of a café, louder than the soft murmur of other patrons and the soft lo-fi hip-hop beat playing in the speaker. The aromatic smell of coffee beans and loose tea leaves intertwined in an awkward, but a familiar combination, wafting throughout the small, cosy café, creating a homey scent that sent her back into her past that was now burrowed in secrecy. The heat and pure excitement building inside her as she tugged the pushed-up sleeves of her light blue cardigan, her skin slightly sticking to the table on a midsummer’s day. Her gorgeous date sat across of her, excitedly telling her embarrassing childhood stories.
Mina could taste the latte as she sipped, the warmth enveloped her heart, making her squirm slightly and smiling brightly.
It was all her memory could conjure of the past that was kept in a dusty box in her mind. Her balled fists loosened.
She missed her freedom.
Mina didn’t want to move. The past was a sweet, sweet, greyed out memory she wanted to cherish and latch on for as long as she could.
But it all stopped and dissipated. A soft knock. Mina’s animal-like instincts shot up, her eyes alert. She pulled herself halfway off the bed, her arm supporting her. She grimaced at the slight pang she felt in her ankle when she moved. Her eyes narrowed at the door, sending invisible daggers towards it.
‘Go away,’ she growled.
There was no answer, but another set of knocking at her door had made her upset. The last thing she wanted was to see Gibeom or the other field agents asking her if she was okay. Of course she wasn’t. Had they told her their plan, she could have walked away with only cuts and bruises.
‘I swear, Gibeom, if you c—’
Mina stopped as soon as the door became ajar. It wasn’t Gibeom and his scowl standing at the frame of her door.
‘Are you expecting someone else? Sorry to bother you. The boys are out on a mission,’ Susan replied. Her deadpanned expression looked lost for once, awkward even. In her grasp, a beautiful, ornate tray and what it seemed to be a pot. Mina had never seen the set before. They received a boring, stainless steel tray at every meal, which made her suddenly think if Bradley and Susan received very different treatments than the other agents.
Susan tried to mask her own fluster as she saw Mina’s crestfallen face. She knew Mina would rather be with her team and get a piece of the action than to be stuck in the dreary room. ‘I didn’t mean to say that.’
Mina’s face lit up in a matter of seconds. Though looking pale and tired, she gave Susan an assuring smile. ‘That’s fine.’
Mina’s eyes fell onto the tray that was in Susan’s grasp. She could barely see anything but the teapot from where she was. She carefully sat up to get a better view. ‘How can I help you?’
Susan entered the room, shutting the door behind her softly with her back. ‘Nothing. Just sit back.’
Despite the response, Susan carried out to do the opposite of ‘nothing’ without uttering another word. She placed the tray at the study and walked to the opposite end of the room. She opened the binds and the sunlight streamed through the UV-protected windows. The sun shined in the middle of spring, and the breeze blew, brushing against the leaves. What a sight, Susan thought.
‘I know you haven’t seen the sunlight in a while. Today looks pretty. Thought you should know,’ Susan finally said.
She moved back to the table, and instantly, the aroma of freshly grounded coffee beans wafted in Mina’s room and she could almost hear, touch and smell the distant memory. Nostalgia gnawed her mind—it was sweet, but the pain remained. Mina could feel her eyes began to water as the scent reminded her of her past.
When Susan stood across her, Mina tilted her head down, and her hair fell, hiding whatever emotions that were on her face. There was no way she could let her emotions come into her way around her colleagues.
The soft rattle of the ceramic cup against its matching saucer sounded near to her ears. Curious, Mina looked up, facing Susan whose face Mina had never laid eyes upon this close.
Her breath hitched, and Mina could feel her temperature flared as they both were immobile for very different reasons.
Mina observed the dark irises staring straight into her own brown eyes. The darkness of her irises and her hair colour juxtaposed by the paleness of her skin. Her gaze then trails to the glossy lips; thin, yet supple. There was an edge, she noticed, as her eyes found their way back to those pair of eyes. The outer corners of Susan’s eyes crinkled slightly as she waited for Mina to retrieve the cup of coffee in her hand
‘Drink this,’ Susan whispered softly. Her eyes quickly darted from the cup of coffee in her hand and back to Mina who looked like she had just recovered from a daze.
Mina was hesitant, but she slowly took the saucer. She let it sit on her lap for a while.
Susan could see she was pondering upon something she couldn’t put her finger on, which grew Susan’s curiosity. She intended to know and she wished Mina would share with her instead, but their relationship was strictly professional.
But that’s how Susan liked it to be with everyone in the facility.
Looking into the cup, the warmth of the steam hitting Mina’s face. The swirls of milk in the cup stares back at her. A tired smile curved on her lips. She was tethering onto the life she had left behind. Perhaps if she hadn’t been saved that fateful day, she could latch onto the remnants of her freedom before she drew her final, tired breaths.
Susan plucked up the courage to sit next to Mina, their elbows touched ever so lightly. Neither of them said anything for a moment. She could never feel what and how Mina felt. Sure, working at Rugal as a passive, administrative agent did come at a cost. The occupational hazards were there, lingering at the back of her own mind, but Susan knew she had a home to head to if she ever missed her mum and her puppy. Mina had nothing to her name. Her identity was robbed from her, thanks to the bullet that almost fatally wounded her.
Susan saw everything. She was right by Mina’s side from the moment the gurney rolled into the surgery room. She knew from that point onwards, Mina’s life would never be the same again.
‘Is there any way I… can make you feel better?’ Susan wanted to punch herself in the gut for sounding awkwardly robotic.
Mina shrugged. Clearing her throat, she began. ‘I used to go out for coffee to read, listen to music… maybe a friend set me up for a blind date. The cafés I went to played hip-hop beats and remixes—I’ll never know what the tracks are called because they’re way too soft that my Shazam can’t hear it,’ she chuckled. ‘The coffees were good. I’ve always wanted to get tea, but I never did. They always smell good, though. It’s one of the first few things you could smell when you enter the coffee shop.’
Turning to Susan, she tucked her hair behind her ear, revealing just enough of her face before it fell down again. ‘Do you like coffee?’
‘I like juices,’ Susan replied.
‘Some cafes have juices.’
‘I know.’
They were silent again. Susan contemplated how she could make Mina feel slightly better, but after hearing Mina speaking fondly about her past, Susan didn’t want to illicit any painful memory about her past, and she trod carefully.
‘Can I play some music?’ Susan asked.
Mina nodded.
She fished into the pocket of her flared trousers for her phone before perusing music playlists that fit the ‘hip-hop beat’ genre. Susan doubted it was something she’d enjoyed, but she could learn to like it. She pressed play.
A soft lo-fi hip-hop beat played through Susan’s phone speaker, the soft wordless melody of the piano resonated throughout the bare room. Though the atmosphere of Mina’s room wasn’t what they hoped for, but at that moment, they were ever-present. Mina’s heart tugged at the thoughts that loomed in her mind, and when her tears trickled, she finally sipped her coffee and wiping her tears away. She wanted to latch onto the memories of Song Mina whose life was still out there, brushing shoulders with strangers in crowded places, carefree, enjoying her life.
Mina realised she hadn’t been able to mourn her past like she mourned her fellow colleagues who perished in the name of justice, including her father. As soon as she opened her eyes, dazed, she knew that anything she wanted to do would be a sign of weakness, and she didn’t want her past to intervene with her present and future.
Susan who had observed Mina from the side-lines found her intriguing. There hadn’t been a moment Mina had shown any emotion, let alone allowing herself to feel sadness even just for one day. It’s like she had set her mind on something and yet that something would be her doom.
‘It’s okay to cry,’ Susan hummed in her ear. She didn’t really know how to comfort Mina. She didn’t know how to be there for her. Susan never had to do anything like that in her life, and at that moment, her eyes wandered as her mind scoured for a solution.
Wiping her tears away, she cleared her throat. ‘I won’t.’
‘I didn’t mean to make you sad,’ Susan confessed.
Looking up, Mina’s eyes met Susan’s. Mina could see right through Susan—she was calculating every move and every word she was about to make. She gave her a weary, yet reassuring smile. ‘I’m fine,’ her voice croaked.
‘How’s the coffee?’
‘It’s delicious.’
‘You’re not taking another sip,’ said Susan, observing Mina’s cup encapsulated in her palms. It warmed her heart seeing Mina finding warmth in the cup, holding it close to her and her legs curled towards her chest.
Mina chuckled. ‘I… really like it. I’m just taking my time.’
‘It’ll get cold.’
‘I know,’ Mina responded cheekily as she took another sip. ‘Susan, why are you making this for me?’ When Susan didn’t respond—she didn’t know how to respond—Mina continued, ‘I’m thankful, but if I’m honest, you seemed too preoccupied with your work to notice me. Notice us.’
‘My work’s my life,’ she paused. ‘But that doesn’t mean I didn’t… you know… notice you. Notice them.’ Susan turned. ‘You seem to notice me a lot?’
Sighing, Mina answered, ‘My work’s the only thing that I have, but I have a lot of free time. I like to observe sometimes.’
‘I read when I’m not working.’
‘What are you reading?’
‘Something that’ll bore you,’ Susan replied, matter-of-factly. ‘Just textbooks.’
Mina’s eyes light up when the realisation hit her. ‘So that’s why you noticed me? Your books sound boring so you just watch me?’
Susan’s face scrunched, bemused by the deduction. ‘No, they’re very entertaining. Would you want to read it?’
‘No. I like to watch TV.’
‘I have a Netflix account,’ Susan suddenly interjected. She bit her lips, contemplating. ‘I don’t have the time to watch it nowadays, but I think my schedule’s cleared for the first time in a long time… until tomorrow afternoon? Maybe we could stay up watching Money Heist?’
‘Money Heist? Isn’t that… action?’
Susan shrugged. She wasn’t entirely sure what the show was about; she had read the headline about the show on an entertainment website before coming into Mina’s room. ‘Maybe.’
‘Not up for some action right now.’
‘What about rom-coms?’
Mina smiled. ‘That’s more like it.’