Chapter Text
“Hey.” Jane greeted Casey as she entered her apartment, forcing herself to hide the annoyance at his presence. After several days of chasing a child abductor she was exhausted and wanted to sleep.
“Hey,” Casey answered from the kitchen as he frowned at the contents of her refrigerator, “Are you hungry? I was just looking at your slim dinner options.”
“I ate with Maura. I’m going to change.” She was already walking to her room while she talked, eagerly anticipating the comfort of her pajamas. Following routine, she placed her gun and badge on her dresser, then unclipped the phone holder from her belt. Her phone was missing, causing her to briefly panic until she remembered leaving it on the dashboard in Maura’s car. With a muttered curse word she harshly placed the holder next to her badge. Her pajamas would have to wait.
It occurred to her that she could wear her pajamas to Maura’s to pick up her phone but she could already picture the displeased look Maura would give her about wearing sleepwear outside of the home. Rather than risk a lecture from the doctor, Jane quickly changed into jeans, a t-shirt, and sneakers.
Casey was reading something on her laptop screen while leaning against her kitchen counter. He looked at her as she approached, “I was researching how to change your last name.” Noticing her shoes he asked, “Are you leaving?”
Fighting the urge to be sarcastic was difficult but she succeeded, settling on bluntness instead, “I don’t want to change my last name. I need to get my phone from Maura.”
“You’re going to Maura’s?” The disappointment was evident in his voice.
“Just to get my phone. I’m on call.”
“You just finished a case. Don’t you get a break?”
Jane rolled her eyes, “Yeah, I’ll just ask the murderers to stop for a couple of days.”
Casey shook his head and turned back to the computer.
“Sorry.” Jane grumbled, “Maura said that my tell is edgy jokes.”
“Tell?” Casey closed the computer and stood up straight, his attitude shifting to concern. “Are you upset about something?”
“Just had a long day.” Noticing his change, she suddenly felt bad for not spending much time with him. “You know what? Rather than leave, I could use your phone to call Maura. I’m sure she’ll be willing to turn around. Then you and I could watch a movie. I shouldn’t be taking my crappy day out on you.”
Casey smiled, pulled his phone from his pocket, and handed it to Jane. “I like that. You know her number?”
“Of course.” Jane dialed and after a quick conversation handed Casey back his phone. “She’ll bring it over.”
Jane walked to the couch, plopping onto it with a yawn. By the time she found the energy to grab the remote off of the coffee table Casey had sat next to her. He watched her lean against the back of the couch before he asked, “What’s my phone number?”
“I don’t know. We usually Skype.”
He didn’t respond for several seconds. Just as Jane was about to press the power button he asked, “Does Maura dislike me?”
Jane snorted, “Of course not.”
“I don’t think she wants us to get married.”
“Why wouldn’t she?” She dropped the remote on the cushion and turned her attention to Casey. She had no interest in pursuing this or any other conversation at the moment. Her sole desire was to watch a movie and go to sleep, possibly at the same time. However, she felt guilty for being rude to Casey earlier, so she attempted to keep her facial expression neutral.
“Yesterday, when I said I like the sound of us living together she gave me a dirty look.” Casey clasped his hands together and leaned forward to rest his forearms against his thighs, his gaze on the carpet.
“I’m sure it had nothing to do with your comment. She had a bad day with her grandfather. She wasn’t herself.”
He tilted his head to glance at Jane, “Why do all of our conversations end up about her?”
“You brought her up. I thought we were watching a movie.” Jane picked the remote up again.
“I was just thinking about the two of you and the two of us.” He was speaking in a calculated manner, causing Jane to wonder if he had planned to bring this topic up. It didn’t sound spontaneous.
“What about us?” She struggled to keep her voice steady despite how quickly her patience was fading.
“I flew all the way from Afghanistan to see you. On my second day here you left at six to have breakfast at her house.”
“We were working a case.”
“You couldn’t take a vacation day to spend with me but you could leave work to help her with her grandfather. I spent more time with you at work or you with her than I did with you alone.”
“I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair to you.” Jane spoke sincerely, momentarily putting aside her frustration. She had behaved as if she cared more about Maura than him and it clearly hurt his feelings.
Casey nodded in acknowledgment. “When she gets here with your phone she won’t knock. Neither of you knock.”
“So?” The irritation was back in an instant. She wasn’t sure if it was because she wanted to relax or she wanted him to stop talking about Maura. Either way, she wanted the conversation to end.
“She has a toothbrush here.”
“So do you.” She clenched her empty hand into a fist as she reminded herself to stay calm. It wasn’t his fault she was tired and grumpy.
“I’m supposed to. I’m your boyfriend. She also has a ton of makeup and hair products in the bathroom.”
“Body wash too. You creating an inventory?” Jane snapped.
Casey ignored her comment, “She has clothes here.”
“And I have clothes at her house. What’s your point?”
“You don’t have clothes at mine.”
“Because you’re always here.” She pointed out in an exasperated tone.
“Yet, I don’t have clothes here.” Jane stared at him but offered no comment, so he continued, “You’re always at hers. You practically live there.”
“Where is this going?” She silently willed Maura to hurry up with her phone so she could get out of this conversation and go to bed. Her desire to spend time with Casey had dissipated.
“Yesterday morning you said you always wanted a wife. I thought you were being funny. Now, I think you meant it.” He delivered the last sentence with confidence but refused to look at her face.
Jane slammed the remote onto the table and jumped up, “What are you talking about?”
Casey stood as well, finally staring her right in the eyes, “Maura is more important to you than I am.” Jane didn’t bother to dispute his claim. “You want to be with her.”
“This is ridiculous.”
“Do you even want to marry me? You don’t want a wedding. You don’t want to go on a honeymoon. You don’t want to move away from Boston. And you don’t want to change your name. What do you want?” Casey asked in frustration, his arms extending from his sides to emphasize the question.
“I want to be me!” Jane yelled, slamming her hand against her chest, “I can’t be Jane Jones. It’s too bland.”
“What about Rizzoli-Jones?”
Jane wrinkled her nose in distaste.
Casey narrowed his eyes and disparagingly asked, “What about Rizzoli-Isles?”
“What?” Jane nearly screamed, her eyes widening in disbelief.
“A ring from me will never compare to that turtle from her.” He pointed to the aquarium across the room.
“Tortoise.” Jane kept her voice raised, “They are not comparable. That was a gift, not a proposal.”
Casey crossed his arms, “Really? Because I think she’s had your heart ever since she gave it to you.”
“That’s not true.” Jane defended, her voice lowering to the tone she used to interrogate a suspect.
“What isn’t? That you love her or that it’s because of the...tortoise?”
“Love her? What is wrong with you?” Jane slapped her hands against her thighs and let out an aggravated sigh, “Why are we talking about this? Are you trying to talk me out of marrying you?”
“I want to marry you. But I don’t want to find out one day that you’re divorcing me for her.”
“I wouldn’t and she isn’t interested.”
“You’re not denying that you are.” Jane rolled her eyes. “Do you really think that she glares at me for any reason other than jealousy?”
“She doesn’t glare at you.”
Casey smirked, “Well, you would know better than I do. You certainly spend enough time looking at her face.”
“What exactly is it that you’re mad about? Her clothes, her toothbrush, or her face?”
“Her control over you.”
Jane shook her head, “That’s what it is. You can’t control me.” Jane stepped closer, her body stance aggressive. “She doesn’t try to control me. She lets me be me.”
Casey paused for a second, Jane’s sudden shift in demeanor unnerving him. “You never gave me a solid reason for wanting to stay in Boston. Is it your family, your job, or just her?”
“It’s all of them.” Her answer was firm.
“If she came in right now, undoubtedly without knocking, and asked you to not marry me, what would you do?”
“I’m not going to indulge your impossible scenario.” Jane defiantly answered.
The door opened and Maura stepped in, her purse dangling from her bent elbow and Jane’s cell phone clutched in her hand.
“Would it kill you to knock?” Jane scowled, remembering Casey’s comment from earlier.
“Sorry.” Maura mumbled as she crossed the room to Jane, ignoring Casey, “Here’s your phone.” She shoved the phone into the detective’s hand and turned to leave.
“No, Maur,” Jane’s voice softened instantly and she grabbed the blonde’s purse-free elbow. “I’m sorry. It’s just a bad time.”
Maura stared into Jane’s eyes seeking reassurance that Jane wasn’t upset with her. After Jane gave a small smile and released her grip, Maura said, “I’ll leave you two alone.”
“Stay.” Casey spoke up, “Your inability to lie would be helpful.”
Discomfort was immediately apparent on Maura’s face, “I’d really rather not be involved.”
He scoffed at her answer, “You’re always involved. Do you think Jane should marry me?”
“I don’t want Jane to move away.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
“Jane enjoys being a detective. She wouldn’t be happy giving that up.”
“Should she marry me?” Casey firmly asked.
Maura shifted her weight and looked at the floor. The anxiety radiating from her best friend activated Jane’s protective instincts. She stepped in front of Maura, shielding her body from Casey. “Leave her out of this.”
“You have a decision to make, Jane. Marry me or stay here with Maura?”
Jane felt Maura’s fingers pressing into her hip, her purse against Jane’s thighs. Reaching backward, Jane grasped Maura’s free hand. Maura stepped closer, her chest brushing against Jane’s back. She squeezed Jane’s hand and placed her forehead against Jane’s shoulder. Her fingers curled into the material of Jane’s shirt and tugged it a few times, a sign that she was struggling to control her emotions. Then, with a quiet exhale, she stepped away, releasing Jane’s hand and shirt.
“It’s okay to go, Jane.” Maura softly spoke.
Jane spun around to face Maura, “What?”
“You should follow your heart.” Maura nodded in Casey’s direction.
“Yesterday, you asked how you would survive without me. Now you’re telling me to go?”
Maura gently shook her head, “I would never tell you to go. I couldn’t. But, I am letting you go.” Maura sniffed, “Casey loves you.”
“You don’t?” Jane surprised herself with the question. She knew the answer, but she was no longer sure if it was only as a best friend.
Maura gave a small, pained smile, “You know I do. But I won’t make you choose.” She gave Casey a pointed look over Jane’s shoulder. Tears pooled in her eyes when she returned her gaze to Jane. Placing a finger into the corner of her left eye, she gave Jane another weak smile before walking around the stunned woman and out of the apartment.
“What the hell was that?” Jane growled at Casey, whirling back to face him, her arm extended toward the closed door.
“She just told you she loves you.”
“She’s said that before. She’s my best friend.” She dismissed his answer, “I meant the way you spoke to her.”
“She’s told you before?” Casey raised an eyebrow, “I think you didn’t listen when she said it.”
“What does that mean?”
“You heard it how you wanted. Not how she meant it.”
Jane rubbed her forehead. For the first time that evening, she had to admit that Casey was right. She heard Maura’s words through the filter of a best friend because it was safe. Now though, having witnessed Maura leave in tears, she recalled the question Maura had asked in the lab the day before, “How will I survive without my best friend?” and answered it for herself. She couldn’t survive without Maura. With that thought, she yanked open the door and ran down the stairs, her feet pounding on the carpet with enough force to attract attention from the neighbors. She knew that Maura’s heels would have slowed her down and desperately hoped she could catch up.
Three steps from the bottom Jane stopped Maura’s descent by cutting in front of her to block the remaining stairs, the momentum slamming her body into the banister. Jane ignored the pain and breathlessly said, “Wait. Come back upstairs.”
Maura refused, keeping her head down to guard her face.
“Please. You’re crying and you have hives. Talk to me.”
Maura put her hand on her throat, a futile attempt to hide the rash, and shook her head.
“Please.” Jane begged as she pulled Maura’s hand away, “Please.”
They stood at a stalemate for nearly a minute, Jane holding Maura’s hand while Maura sniffed and looked at her feet. Finally, the smaller woman turned and slowly walked back up the stairs. Jane placed her hand on Maura’s lower back and followed.
At the landing Jane stepped next to Maura but didn’t remove her hand. She needed to be sure Maura wouldn’t turn back. Casey was waiting outside of Jane’s door, his eyes focused on Jane’s hand. Flexing her fingers, Jane gently pressed Maura toward the apartment door. After a slight hesitation Maura complied with the silent request.
Casey waited for the door to close behind the doctor before speaking. “You’ve answered my question.”
“It was an ultimatum.” Jane seethed, her hands on her hips and her eyes blazing with anger, “You had no right to interrogate Maura like that. She’s done nothing.”
“I barely asked her anything. Still, you both confirmed what I feared. I know you like living in Boston, being near your family, and you’re dedicated to your job, but you’re staying for Maura. You don’t want to move with me, but I bet if Maura moved you would go with her.”
Jane didn’t even have to think about it. With a pang of guilt, she slid the ring from her finger and held it out to Casey. “I would.”
Casey took the ring. The silence lasted for several seconds as Casey studied the ring and Jane looked at her apartment door. Finally, with nothing left to say, Casey put the ring in his pocket and walked away.