Work Text:
"Why are you so nervous?" Kurt asks, having to unclasp their hands to wipe his palm off on Blaine's jeans (it's Blaine's sweat, after all, and Kurt's pants are designer). "You've been here before. You've met everyone already."
"But not as your boyfriend!" Blaine hisses, eying the door to the Hudson-Hummel house as though his imminent doom awaits him on the other side. "Not since I've defiled your purity!"
Kurt stares at his boyfriend, who is so very, very attractive but also seems to be prone to bouts of insanity. "We made out for fifteen minutes and then cuddled while we watched The Sound of Music. There was no defiling of anyone's purity, I assure you." He smirks as he straightens Blaine's tie. "Not yet, anyway."
Blaine gulps as Kurt tugs him up the walkway to the front door, having to literally shove Blaine over the threshold to get him inside.
“Come on. There’s no way this could end up worse for you than is is for me.”
The rest of the family is waiting for them in the living room. Burt stands up immediately, looking like he might threaten to castrate Blaine at any moment (Blaine thinks so, at least). Carole follows suit, looking considerably more friendly.
“Hello again, Blaine. We’re so happy you could come for dinner tonight,” she says, pleasant as ever. Blaine manages a small smile, nodding.
“Hello, Mrs. Hummel, Mr. Hummel. I’m happy to be here, and to be meeting you again as Kurt’s boyfriend.” He purposefully avoids Burt’s gaze, and will swear to Kurt later (to much eye rolling) that Burt clenched his fists when he heard the word ‘boyfriend’.
A beeping sounds out from the kitchen, and Carole claps her hands together. “That’ll be the food!” she announces, her bright smile actually managing to lower Blaine’s anxiety. “Come on, the table’s already set.”
They bring their plates up for her to serve them (Burt’s idea) and all sit, with Kurt on one side of Blaine and Finn on the other.
“This is lovely, Mrs. Hummel,” Blaine quickly compliments after his first taste, and Kurt nods in agreement.
“Yeah, thanks Mom,” Finn adds, looking at Blaine and frowning as he chews a bite of his steamed vegetable medley. “Why does Blaine get to spend the night?” he finally asks, and Kurt freezes, closing his eyes for a moment and mentally using Finn as a punching bag for trying to screw this up. “Rachel never gets to spend the night.”
“Blaine lives farther away than Rachel does. It would be less convenient for him to drive home late at night,” Kurt points out quietly, wanting this to just go away. Of course, it doesn’t.
“So if Rachel lived farther away, she could spend the night?” he asks, and Kurt sighs.
“It’s different.”
“How is it different? He’s your boyfriend, isn’t he?”
“It’s different because Blaine can’t get pregnant, Finn,” Kurt hisses, and Blaine suspects that if he looked up he might find an armed weapon in Burt’s hand, pointed at him.
“Wait, Blaine’s the chick?” Finn looks shocked and Kurt groans, burying his face in his hands. Blaine doesn’t think his face could get any hotter, and he expects a swift and merciless death-by-boyfriend’s-father at any moment.
“Finn!” Carole scolds, shaking his head. “I’m so sorry, Blaine. He’s still learning about this sort of thing. We know you’re not a... not a chick.” She shoots another glare at Finn, who shrinks into his chair.
“I think Finn has a point, Maybe Blaine should sleep on the couch,” Burt says, eying Blaine suspiciously. “Is that why you came and had that talk with me? You wanted him to know about sex when you become his boyfriend? If you’re taking advantage of him-”
“No!” Blaine protests, and it comes out almost a squeak. He regrets going to have that conversation so much right now. “No, God, no. I wasn’t planning to date him then, I just wanted to look out for him.”
“Daddy, Blaine is a gentleman,” Kurt says calmly, knowing how to get his way. “He is lovely and respectful and would never want to push me or do anything that I wasn’t absolutely ready for. There is no need for him to sleep on the couch.”
Burt mutters quietly, the rest of them only catching the odd phrase like “paws off” and “you matter.” Kurt finds Blaine’s hand under the table, lacing their fingers together to give his boyfriend’s hand a comforting squeeze. He knows he’ll get them through this, one way or another.