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A benevolent deity must have taken pity on Edogai and decided to give him something wonderful. Someone wonderful.
He had already agreed to help with making the faux skins, and yet First Lieutenant Tsurumi was still by his side, watching him. So intensely, as if he truly was interested in Edogai's handiwork.
Edogai could not complain.
"Oh!" Tsurumi exclaimed, and he clapped his hands together, "Edogai-kun! What a fantastic idea!"
Edogai smiled shyly, setting his polishing cloth aside and handing the headgear he had been working on to Tsurumi, "You said he liked to whisper into the ear to speak to his brother, so I thought that this design would help."
"Of course it would," Tsurumi took the piece and marvelled over it, "How inspired, Edogai-kun. I knew you were talented, but you manage to blow me away every time."
Edogai didn't remember ever feeling this giddy in his life. His mother had always been quick to point out his flaws, and Edogai himself was rarely ever content with his own work, but Tsurumi's approval felt life changing. Edogai was becoming addicted.
"It was only your in-depth insight about your soldier's condition that made it possible, Tsurumi-san."
"No one else would have been as innovative, Edogai-kun!" Tsurumi spoke with determination, his tone leaving no room for argument, "You are truly unique!"
Giddy. His entire body felt tingly, "Tsurumi-san... you are so kind."
"Merely honest, my dear," Tsurumi placed the headgear on his worktable, and reached over to take Edogai's hands in his. Edogai felt his knees go weak, being touched this much by someone he admired. Was it possible to fall in love this quickly? Was this love? Edogai wasn't entirely sure, but if this wasn't love, then Edogai didn't want to know what love was, "Your talents are unparalleled." Tsurumi brushed his fingers over Edogai's knuckles, and the warmth in Edogai's core spread like wildfire.
Edogai never truly had a libido. He had been 16 when he touched himself for the first time, and his Mother had found out and made sure that he never did it again. She had made sure he never turned out to be like his father.
Arousal had never really been a sensation Edogai was familiar with, but in the past 48 hours, it was as if he was only ever feeling desire. Tsurumi was making him feel new things, and now he couldn't imagine himself without this newfound knowledge.
He wanted to explore every new thing with Tsurumi.
"Thank you," he said shyly, his cheeks ached from how much he had been smiling, "I'll do my best with your request, Tsurumi-san. I'll get to work the moment your men bring the materials I asked for."
"And I greatly appreciate that, Edogai-kun," Tsurumi's smile made Edogai's stomach flip a million times, “I'm so happy to have found you."
That was too much, suddenly. Edogai felt too big for his own skin. He whined, stepping up close to Tsurumi. It was like Tsurumi was magnetic, Edogai found himself gravitating closer, "M-me too! You're the best thing that has happened to me, Tsurumi-san!"
"What a coincidence!" Tsurumi brought their hands up between them closer to his own face, and Edogai could feel Tsurumi's breath against his skin, "I could say the same for you."
The implication of Tsurumi thinking of Edogai the way Edogai thought of him was enough to make Edogai feel faint. He felt as if he would sprout wings and levitate, buoyed by the swelling feeling in his chest. He could weep, "Tsurumi-san...You really understand and appreciate my vision. You see me. I want to be with you forever."
A small chuckle, and Tsurumi blessedly touched his face, immediately grounding him to reality again. Edogai practically melted into his touch, his whole soul on fire. Tsurumi laughed, pushing a curl of Edogai's hair behind his ear, "Is that a proposal, Edogai-kun?"
Realizing what he had said, Edogai felt himself flush all over, "A-ah. Um. I didn't mean to-"
Tsurumi leaned in, so close that Edogai's mouth snapped shut, "I like the idea of that."
The idea of- If Edogai could combust, he would have surely caught on fire already. He had never been in love, had never even entertained the thought of permanent companionship with anyone other from his mother, but here Tsurumi was, indulging him in his ridiculous fantasies.
His face must be extremely red, he didn't even want to imagine how shameless he looked, "Tsurumi-san. Please...Don't tease me..."
"I'm not teasing, I do mean it. To have a talented, handsome craftsman like you by my side? Why would I ever say no, Edogai-kun?"
It wasn't a proper question but Edogai found himself feeling faint at the idea again, his knees really about to give out. But Tsurumi had now entered his personal space even more, holding one of his hands while his thumb caressed Edogai's cheek. Holding Edogai as if Edogai was dear to him.
Edogai's heart was pounding, and he was convinced that Tsurumi could hear it. No one had ever made him feel this way. He knew that no one else ever will.
"Look at you," Tsurumi said, almost quietly, "I knew that the person who made the glove I found had incredible skill, but imagine my surprise seeing a lovely creature like you answering the door. Aren't I lucky?"
Oh, he could look into those dark eyes forever. He could listen to Tsurumi forever.
Edogai had never been the best judge of character; or rather, his mother had always dictated his company. But it was almost impossible for him to perceive Tsurumi's words as anything but genuine. Either Tsurumi was incredible at pretending, or Edogai was just that vulnerable, or...
Or he actually...
Edogai was obsessed with the thought. The possibility that Tsurumi truly meant everything he was saying was driving Edogai wild. He wanted to hear more of them. Wanted to feel them against his skin. On his tongue.
Using his own words was difficult when Edogai was overwhelmed, "Tsurumi-san..."
It did not help that Tsurumi was gently stroking his face still, and his gaze dropped lower, to Edogai's lips.
Edogai had never kissed another person in his life, but he couldn't think of anything else but of closing the distance between their mouths. He wanted it so badly it hurt. It made his blood sing, he was hyperaware of his own mouth, and he wanted to know what Tsurumi's skin felt like against his lips. Extremely taken with the idea of it, Edogai made a helpless noise.
Tsurumi made a soft, amused sound in return, and leaned in to kiss him.
Tsurumi's mouth was divine. It was skin against skin, but it was Tsurumi, and Edogai couldn't get enough of it. The sensation of Tsurumi touching him. Moving against him. Tsurumi knew exactly what he needed and gave it to him.
Edogai put his hands on Tsurumi's shoulders, and pressed their bodies together, wanting more, however he could get it. This was a first for him too. He had never been close to someone alive this way. The warmth was still overwhelming.
"Oh, Edogai-kun," Tsurumi murmured after a moment of parting, and Edogai wanted to feel the vibration of his speech against him always, "You're shaking."
He really was, his whole body trembling.
"I can't help it!" Edogai whined, near tears now, overwhelmed and needy, "I like you so much, Tsurumi-san."
"I like you too, my dear. My talented little darling."
Edogai's palpitations were now worse. He couldn't string a thought together.
"You deserve a little reward, don't you?"
"Oh yes, please. Please. I've been good."
The moment the words left his lips, he was immediately embarrassed. Tsurumi's eyebrows raised, but he only smiled then, leaning in close enough to speak against Edogai's lips, "Oh, yes. You've been such a good boy for me."
Edogai felt butterflies thrash violently in his stomach. A good boy. Of course, "Mmh. Ah. I have. I tried so hard for you, Tsurumi-san."
"And you did wonderfully, my dear," Tsurumi tucked a curl of Edogai's hair behind his ear again, it must have gotten loose, "So inspired."
He liked hearing Tsurumi praise him this way, every word was like liquid heat down his spine. Desire felt tangible in his chest, he didn't even know he could feel this way. His eyes fluttered close, involuntarily, his eyelashes now damp with unshed tears.
He could feel the breath on his lips, they were so close. He wanted a kiss, again. The rising emotion inside him felt like a tidal wave, and he was being swept away.
Tsurumi kissed him again, and Edogai moaned into it, grateful.
Everything felt magical. Perfect.
'Is it really?'
He almost didn't hear it, too caught up in Tsurumi. But it was a voice, and it was...
Tsurumi gently pulled at his bottom lip with teeth and Edogai forgot all about it. There was something ever rising inside him, and he wanted to know what it was. Wanted Tsurumi to pull it out of him. He pushed his face against Tsurumi's, trying to commit the feel of Tsurumi to memory, put his mouth over Tsurumi's mustache, his cheek, his jaw.
"So sweet, Edogai-kun," Tsurumi whispered, shifting to murmur against the side of Edogai's mouth and Edogai could feel Tsurumi's fingers undoing the tie of his apron, pulling at it slowly, "Would you let me make you feel good?"
More than he was already feeling good? Edogai would die. What a way to go.
"I-"
'He'll find out. He'll find out what an ugly boy you are, and he'll be disgusted.'
The voice cut him off, and Edogai stiffened.
Who was that? Mother?
No, he killed Mother. Or rather, Mother had died, and had haunted him after, but Edogai had exorcised her with a bullet. Was it anyone he knew?
No.
It was himself. A voice in his head.
'You know he's just using you, right? To help him with the skins. He's manipulating you, Yasaku.'
He...knew that. But at the same time...
He frowned, momentarily forgetting himself, and Tsurumi tilted his face up, capturing his attention again, "Edogai-kun?"
Even looking at Tsurumi's face brought him out of it, but he could hear the remnants of the harsh admonishment still.
'He thinks you're sick. A freak.'
"Tsurumi-san, I..."
'You're so greedy. All you do is ask him to pretend that he cares for you.'
"What is it, sweetheart?"
He clutched at Tsurumi, on the edge of what felt like a panic attack. He didn't want to listen to himself anymore.
"I just need to listen to you more. More, Tsurumi-san..."
Tsurumi seemed to immediately understand; could a man be this perfect; and he leaned in to press his mouth against Edogai's ear once again, "Only listen to me. I'll tell you what I'd like to do to you. I want to see you unravel in my arms."
A light tug to his apron and Edogai let Tsurumi pull it off him, dropping it somewhere on the ground. Both of Tsurumi's hands were on him now, as Edogai held on to him tight, "I already am..."
Tsurumi nipped his earlobe, and Edogai made a broken little noise, "Are you? I think you're not quite there yet, Edogai-kun. But don't worry. I'll get you there."
Hands on his hips, and Tsurumi easily lifted him, making him yelp with surprise. He was deposited onto his worktable, and Edogai needed to check if there were any open bottles or sharp tools that he had left lying around, but he truly couldn't look away from Tsurumi. Tsurumi slotted himself in between Edogai's legs and Edogai never wanted him to leave.
He felt the hands move up, up, and then trail over his stomach. One hand dipped in between his legs and Edogai's hand shot out to stop it. A reflex, almost.
He wasn't ready for that.
Tsurumi paused, and leaned back slightly to look at him, sobering up right away, "Ah, I apologize. Should I not have?"
"Not...not there, Tsurumi-san. I'm sorry."
"It's quite alright. Do you still want me to touch you?"
Tsurumi was looking at him with such kindness; Edogai believed that he cared wholeheartedly. Maybe Edogai was gullible. It didn't matter. He still wanted Tsurumi so badly.
"Yes, please. Very much."
Tsurumi's smile was lovely, and just for him, "Then I will."
He leaned back in, and Edogai felt relieved; he was so inexperienced even with the simplest of touches, he wouldn't want Tsurumi to lose interest. Then he felt Tsurumi's hands slide under his clothing, skin on skin, pressing along his ribs one by one, and Edogai thought maybe Tsurumi's interest was the least of his worries.
"I wish you could see yourself," Tsurumi murmured, and Edogai's toes curled from how sultry his voice was, "The color to your cheeks is fetching. It reminds me of peaches. Of sakuramochi."
Oh, Tsurumi's touch felt like fire on his skin, "Tsurumi-san..."
Their faces were close together, and Edogai's lips parted open, head angling for another kiss. Tsurumi lingered, but tilted his face at the last moment, "I could just eat you up." He clamped his mouth over Edogai's cheek and bit down just gently, but it was enough to make Edogai yelp, laughing in surprise as leaned away from the teeth.
"Don't eat me, Tsurumi-san!"
Playful, Tsurumi chased after him, stealing a quick kiss on the cheek he had bitten. Edogai was entranced by Tsurumi's smile once again. "Can't I?"
Who was Edogai kidding.
"I changed my mind. Please eat me."
Tsurumi chuckled, and licked his cheek, and Edogai exhaled harshly, the pleasure of all this clouding his mind. He could feel the ever swelling mass of energy expanding inside of him, and he wanted whatever it was so badly. Tsurumi's hands travelled along his body, and Edogai moved with it, wanting to follow those fingers wherever they went.
They pulled at his shirt just a little, a suggestion.
"May I undress you, Edogai-kun?"
He was nodding furiously, wanting to say yes to anything Tsurumi asked for. He might not be ready for Tsurumi to see him in his entirety, but he wanted to be touched more. To be loved more.
Tsurumi held his gaze when he pulled off Edogai's sweater vest, when he unbuttoned the shirt underneath. His smile was intoxicating, and while this was completely unfamiliar territory for Edogai, he trusted Tsurumi. A palm slid over his chest, much like how he had touched Tsurumi's roughened skin earlier. His shirt was open and Edogai couldn't care less, enthusiastically reciprocating when Tsurumi leaned in again to capture his mouth in a passionate kiss.
To be kissed this way...to be wholly occupied with nothing else but a kiss, Edogai was in love with the sensation. Tsurumi leaned even further into his space, pressing his mouth against his jaw, lingering.
Edogai's voice was shaky and strained, both from arousal and desperation, "Tsurumi-san..."
Tsurumi hummed, the vibration driving him crazy. Edogai arched, in a way that he wasn't familiar with, but it felt right anyway. He wanted Tsurumi to say something, anything. He didn't know what he wanted Tsurumi to say. He wasn't the one with the words.
'Pathetic. He'll see how pathetic you are.'
Lips on his face again, and Tsurumi mouthed up the curve of his jaw, blessedly not moving away. Whispering directly into his ear, all Edogai could hear was Tsurumi's voice.
"I can't get enough of you, sweet thing. Did you know you blush all the way to your shoulders?" He felt a fingertip on the curve of his left shoulder, and Tsurumi slid the finger down his arm, "I think you would look gorgeous in red. Is there a way to dye your clothing red, Edogai-kun?"
Tsurumi was comfortable between his legs, ever pressing in, and Edogai had the strangest urge to buck his hips up, a strange sort of muscle memory.
"A-ah. Yes. Cherries," Tsurumi's hand slipped forward and deftly rubbed against his nipple, and it made his breath hitch, "Dark cherries."
"I should get you cherries, then," Tsurumi's tone was low, "In hopes that you'll make a red dress for me."
He wanted to agree, wanted to say something in affirmation but instead he could do nothing but whine, as Tsurumi expertly touched him, making him squirm.
"Something just like that dress you wore for me, with the chic, wide-brimmed hat," nails scratching lightly over his sides, then back up again. Tsurumi's head moved lower, and Edogai felt lips on his collarbone. On his chest, "Your shoulders bare, so I can watch you turn the same color."
His rough moan was utterly uncalled for, but Edogai was overwhelmed, "God, Tsurumi-san...The things you say..."
He could feel Tsurumi's smile on his clavicle, could feel it as Tsurumi trailed his mouth even downwards. The praise and the physical contact were giving him some form of a sensory overload. Edogai was panting, he was overwhelmed with something and he wasn't sure where it could go.
"Is that what you like?" Spoken quietly against his chest, "For me to tell you how perfectly you push up against me, just like this? To call you a good boy, all lovely and darling for me?"
Tsurumi's words were heavy, like persistent hands on him, grounding and firm, his skin felt tight with the weight of it. He could feel his entire body stretch as he arched, his entire being on fire. Too big for his skin. If he grabbed a scalpel and sliced himself open, would he just spill out of himself? Would he be free?
He felt lips on his sternum, just over the divot in between his ribs, then the scrape of teeth. Edogai imploded.
Tsurumi held him through it but Edogai didn't stop shaking for a long time, feeling as if his skin finally split at the seams from whatever had been building up inside of him, from how overwhelming Tsurumi's praise was. It was pure unadulterated pleasure, and Edogai belatedly realized that his eyes were wet with tears from how good he felt.
He clung onto Tsurumi after, feeling exposed and vulnerable. Tsurumi's embrace was tight, and Edogai felt safe in his arms. That was another new feeling he had come to learn. Security.
New things with this wonderful, wonderful man that the world had given him.
He wanted to make Tsurumi feel even a fraction of how good he felt.
He turned his face and kissed whatever part of Tsurumi he was pushed up against, but Tsurumi gently touched his chin, guiding him away.
"Look at me," Edogai did, unable to help himself, weak to Tsurumi's touch even after, perhaps especially after, "There's my handsome boy."
Magical.
Edogai's cheeks hurt so badly, he had been smiling more than he had in the past two decades. Edogai would die for this man.
"Let me do something for you, Tsurumi-san," his tone was breathy from pleasure and from love, and he wanted nothing else but to please this man touching him so tenderly.
Tsurumi smiled, brushing his thumb over Edogai's lips; Edogai kissed them, "You've done a lot for me, Edogai-kun."
Edogai pouted, and Tsurumi laughed at his expression, patting his cheek in gentle reassurance. "Would you wear your clothes for me more often, then? You look stunning in them, my dear."
His soul felt sore with love. He ached. "For you? Of course."
'Once he's done with you, he'll discard you like trash.'
So be it. Edogai had never been happier in his life.