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When Jiang Cheng wakes up, nerves are already churning in his gut.
Today is the big day. The day the gods come down to earth to choose their disciples. It only happens once a year and only those who are eighteen are eligible to be chosen. If no god chooses you on this day then there won’t be a second chance.
Jiang Cheng knows that there is a chance Chifeng-zun will choose him; he is the god of war and rage and ever since Jiang Cheng was old enough to scowl there had been talk at Lotus Pier, how well he would fit with that.
But Jiang Cheng also knows that there is a bigger chance of no god choosing him at all.
It is his biggest fear, especially since Wei Wuxian would stand right by his side during the ceremony.
Jiang Cheng eyes Wei Wuxian who is getting ready right next to him and dread pools in his stomach. Wei Wuxian will probably be chosen by multiple gods and then a fight will break out amongst them. Somehow Jiang Cheng will get dragged into this, he will end up at the centre of it, and in the end the whole thing will reflect badly only on him.
His father will be quietly disappointed, his mother will be loudly furious and his sister will simply smile her kind smile at him, while tending to Wei Wuxian’s injuries and congratulation Wei Wuxian for being chosen.
It has happened before, and it will happen again, too, because Jiang Cheng never knows when to just let his brother dive headfirst into danger.
But the fact still remains; Wei Wuxian will get chosen despite the commotion he will no doubt cause and Jiang Cheng probably won’t, since he will cause too much trouble defending his brother.
“Are you excited?” Wei Wuxian suddenly asks him, bumping their shoulders together and Jiang Cheng scowls at him.
“What’s there to be excited about?” Jiang Cheng grumbles. “I’m not the one who will get chosen,” he quietly tacks on, but Wei Wuxian still seems to hear him, because the excited smile slides right off his lips.
“Of course you’ll get chosen,” Wei Wuxian tells him, with so much conviction in his voice that even Jiang Cheng almost believes it for a second. “You’ll get a wonderful god, you’ll see.”
“Right,” Jiang Cheng huffs out. “Because the god of war is such a wonderful prospect,” he bitterly tacks on and then chastises himself for it.
He really shouldn’t be badmouthing the gods on any day, but this day especially.
“He’s not so bad,” Wei Wuxian tries. “Remember last year? How he laughed so loudly it sounded like thunder claps? Clearly he’s not all rage,” Wei Wuxian tries and Jiang Cheng has to admit that Wei Wuxian might be right.
Chifeng-zun is not entirely bad, Jiang Cheng knows that, but even though he never allowed himself to think about which god he would choose if he had the choice, he knows that he wouldn’t go for Chifeng-zun.
“Come on, it will be fun!” Wei Wuxian jolts him out of his thoughts and drags him outside, where half of Lotus Pier is already waiting for them as it seems.
Jiang Cheng takes one last deep breath and then he follows his family.
~*~*~
The ceremony itself is boring. There’s a lot of talk, reminders of how the disciples should always be the most obedient and helpful for their gods, before the signal is fired off and the gods actually show up.
Jiang Cheng inwardly wonders why they get to skip all the boring parts but then he’s blinded by the first light announcing the arrival of the first god and he found out long ago that it’s just easier to keep his eyes closed until all of them have arrived.
The gods that show up on this day vary from year to year, but the big ones, the ones that are the most powerful, are always there.
Chifeng-zun of course, but Zewu-jun, Hanguang-jun and Lianfang-zun are always amongst them as well.
There is another exceedingly boring portion where each god gets greeted individually before all the disciples that are eligible this year are called forwards.
Jiang Cheng steps up right next to Wei Wuxian and while Wei Wuxian beams at the gods, Jiang Cheng can’t help but to lower his gaze and worry the hem of his robe.
If he doesn’t get chosen this year, he’ll bring dishonour on his family, and his mother will never forgive himself. If he doesn’t get chosen and Wei Wuxian does then his mother will expect him to forever hate Wei Wuxian for taking this opportunity away from him and Jiang Cheng knows that he never could.
Jiang Cheng desperately wishes this day was over already.
When it’s time for the first god to choose, a hush falls over the crowd. All eyes turn to Zewu-jun, because he always gets first choice, mostly because it’s been centuries since he took his last disciple.
No one knows what exactly he’s looking for, who he is waiting for, but so far he never took anyone with him.
He’s the god of loyalty and the capacity of self-sacrifice and Jiang Cheng supposes in this time and age it must be increasingly difficult to find a selfless person like that.
Jiang Cheng doesn’t care much for the gods, if he’s being honest, but there is always something lonely in the corner of Zewu-jun’s eyes, and Jiang Cheng finds himself hoping that this year he’ll find someone to keep him company.
Zewu-jun gets up from his seat, and everyone is waiting for the annual head-shake they got so accustomed to, but instead Zewu-jun leaves his place.
He must have found someone worthy enough.
There’s a beat of dead silence over the place, before an excited murmur goes through the crowd. There are speculations, Jiang Cheng can tell, but he keeps his eyes on the ground, hoping that this goes over fast.
Jiang Cheng only lifts his gaze when white shoes step into his line of sight and then don’t disappear again. Still, Jiang Cheng is slow to react until Wei Wuxian elbows him into the side and only then does Jiang Cheng lift his head.
Zewu-jun is standing directly in front of him, looking right at Jiang Cheng, and Jiang Cheng swallows.
He wonders what he could have possibly done to upset this god—because this is the only possible explanation for his strange behaviour—and he falls into a deep bow.
“This disciple apologizes,” he gets out, acutely aware of all eyes on him and then he’s being lifted out of the bow by gentle hands.
“For what?” Zewu-jun asks him, and his voice is softer than Jiang Cheng imagined it to be.
“For—,” Jiang Cheng starts and then he helplessly works his jaw because he can’t think of anything to apologize for.
He doesn’t know what he did to upset Zewu-jun after all.
“For upsetting Zewu-jun,” he eventually carefully says and is completely taken off guard when Zewu-jun smiles at him.
“But you have done the opposite,” Zewu-jun tells him and his voice runs like a shiver down Jiang Cheng’s back. “You are delighting me.”
Jiang Cheng can almost feel how Wei Wuxian is vibrating out of his skin next to him, but Jiang Cheng feels strangely detached from himself.
“I’m what now?” he blurts out and when he hears a scandalized gasp from behind him, he slaps a hand over his mouth, his face burning with mortification.
“Xichen, you’re scaring the guy,” Chifeng-zun suddenly calls down to them, and Zewu-jun laughs lightly at that.
“That was not my intention,” Zewu-jun gives back over his shoulder and then actually slightly bows his head to Jiang Cheng.
Jiang Cheng wants to die on the spot.
“I would choose you as my disciple,” Zewu-jun says, finally explaining what’s going on here, even though it barely does anything to make this situation more understandable.
“But you’re the god of undying loyalty and the willingness to sacrifice oneself,” Jiang Cheng blurts out, because this cannot be right.
“And you are the perfect disciple for me,” Zewu-jun gives back, endless patience in his voice and Jiang Cheng has to swallow at that.
He never dared to hope for anything like this, but standing here, in Zewu-jun’s gentle light; it already feels like he’s home.
“If you would have this unworthy disciple,” Jiang Cheng finally gets out, bowing low again like the custom demands, but he’s yet again stopped by a hand catching his wrist.
“There is nothing unworthy about you,” Zewu-jun assures him and then goes back to his seat.
He has made his choice.
Jiang Cheng isn’t sure he takes in anything past this point; he’s dimly aware that Wei Wuxian got chosen by Hanguang-jun, the god of everything that is right and the bearer of light, but apart from that the whole afternoon escapes Jiang Cheng.
He regains a bit of his senses when it comes the time to say goodbye to his family for now, for Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian won’t be allowed to return to the mortal plane for the first five years of their training, but even that mostly flows past him.
He only becomes aware of his surroundings again when it’s time to leave with Zewu-jun.
“Are you sure you’re not making a mistake?” Jiang Cheng can’t help but to ask Zewu-jun because he still has a hard time wrapping his head around this.
“Are you questioning my judgement?” Zewu-jun asks him, his voice mild, but Jiang Cheng still blanches.
“I am questioning my worthiness, Zewu-jun,” he quickly gives back and watches in awe as Zewu-jun’s face softens.
“I have waited a long time for someone like you, Wanyin,” Zewu-jun says as he cups Jiang Cheng’s face in his hand. “And my disciples call me Lan Xichen.”
Jiang Cheng swallows at that, because it’s a great honour to call a god by their old name and he can hardly believe that he’s already being granted that honour.
“Will you accompany me?” Lan Xichen asks him, his voice low and almost intimate. “Will you stay by my side?”
It is unheard of, that a god asks their chosen disciples for their opinion, and yet Jiang Cheng doesn’t doubt for a second that if he should say no, Lan Xichen would let him go without a word.
Jiang Cheng looks at this god in front of him—his god, should he choose so—and Jiang Cheng doesn’t know what he’s doing but he’s slightly raising up on the tip of his toes, reaching out to cup Lan Xichen’s face in his hand in turn.
He sees how Lan Xichen’s eyes go wide, but how they stay soft and gentle, and Jiang Cheng nods.
“I will stay with you” Jiang Cheng promises his god—means it with everything that he is—and is stunned, when Lan Xichen briefly leans into his hand.
“Let’s go home, then,” Lan Xichen says and takes Jiang Cheng’s hand in his own, to safely guide him up into heaven and into their new home.