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Lying still in bed after minutes of jerking awake, Killua tries to will away the awful mental pictures ruthlessly trying to brand themselves into his labyrinth of a brain, lingering images of the nightmare that had forced his conscious awake playing repeatedly in his head. He feels the sweat on his skin cooling his body temperature and breaking him out in shivers, yet lies still in his sweaty discomfort, pulse erratic and unshed tears a hiccup away from falling. He'd already taken notice that Gon was not lying by his side moments after opening his eyes, and going by the quiet undertone of the house, probably went out sometime earlier in the morning.
His initial anxiety subsides as more minutes pass, sighing loudly into the quiet air of the room; a familiar, niggling knot of blue funk and disquietude settling in his gut. He turns to look at the bunched up sheets of Gon's empty side of the bed, frowning slightly at the sight. Languidly he rolls to that side on his belly, pressing his face into Gon's pillow, inhaling softly at the intimate, earthy scent that clings to the fabric. It slows his rapidly beating heart gradually, and makes him droop limply into the bed after being so rigid for however many minutes it's been since he woke up. He allows another sigh to escape him.
Eventually, he pads sluggishly downstairs, the details of the day slowly filling in. For one it's raining, as it had been for the past consecutive days now. It seems the rainy season has once again arrived in Whale Island with the promise of spring. Outside everything is coated in a sheen of water droplets, rain showers falling periodically and giving the already sparsely populated island a deserted feel with less living presence than usual. Humidity hangs heavy in the atmosphere, plastering to his skin even indoors. Their sweatiest months are just ahead of them, he notes with a grimace.
Making his way into the kitchen he goes for the microwave where he knows Gon has left him a cooked breakfast. He taps in a few seconds on the microwave and presses start, deciding he'll make hot chocolate while the food reheats in an ineffectual attempt to calm himself. If Gon were home he'd make a reprimanding comment on how 'You shouldn't have chocolate in the morning, Killua!' Something Aunt Mito also throws his way on occasion, followed by Alluka's disapproving head shake.
And though their probably right -not that it could realistically affect someone with the physicality of his caliber- Gon's not here right now to stop or dissuade anything, or comfort him for that matter, so hot chocolate it is Killua decides disappointedly.
The microwave beeps before he's finished preparing his beverage, the sound disturbing the silence encompassing the house. He grabs his food, along with his drink, and moves to the table. The faint clinking of dishware ringing in his ears.
Moments like these, spent alone in deafening silence, are perhaps the most dangerous for Killua.
They recall the crippling loneliness he felt as a young child, of the years spent as his family's puppet, mechanically fulfilling his predetermined purpose as a murderer every miserable day. And even worse it reminds him of the difficult days after him and Gon parted, specifically the rare moments wherein Alluka and Nanika were busy doing their own thing and in their collective absence would emerge his hopelessly tangled anxieties of being his sister sole protector and caretaker, as well as the seemingly inescapable shadow of his forsaken family; not to mention, the heavy sadness that had weighed down him ever since leaving Gon's side. He'd mope around on the odd day in which he could realistically focus on himself back then, pondering --admittedly quite obsessively-- on what Gon could've been doing in that moment. Never sure if he'd ever get to spend time in his presence once again before his family possibly caught up with them and finally imprisoned him for good, God only knowing what cruelness his dear baby sister would disappear into.
Except, these days it's not all completely quiet. Even when he finds himself home alone, the birds sing outside the windows, the gentle twinkling of the wind chime is heard throughout the house and their open yard, along with all the other white noise that serves as the infinite soundtrack to Whale Island day and night.
This morning though, the sounds are somewhat muted, and instead overtaken by the steady rain fall-- the normally scurrying wildlife quiet for the time being, most likely seeking shelter inside hidden dens and crevices deep in the thick vegetation. The steady patter of the rain hitting surfaces reverberates throughout the house, only accompanied by the dull hum of the kitchen refrigerator. Occasionally he'll hear thunder in the distance, surely striking more powerfully in some other patch of existence.
Taking a sip of his hot chocolate he swallows, figuring Gon will be a while before he returns home from helping down at the port with aunt Mito. With these constant storms raging throughout the island, floods are commonplace, and consistently causing problems down at the port.
Sitting down with his stack of pancakes drizzled in a fair amount of syrup and, his favorite touch, whipped cream, he eats quietly as he watches the gentle rain fall from the kitchen windows, melodically sipping on his hot chocolate; trying not to let the permeating silence engulf him.
After taking a warm bath to rid himself of the coat of moisture sticking his flesh together, and slipping into some fresh clothes, he makes his way down to the kitchen again in search of something sweet to kill his cravings, and mostly his boredom. Peering into the fridge and pantry he scrunches his nose at the lack of variety to choose from, It'll be time to go grocery shopping soon, he notes.
Upon retrieving a selection of snacks he lays atop the blankets strewn about on their big living room couch, slouching into the cushions. It's well into the afternoon and still no sign of Gon.
Sighing, he figures it's better to distract himself with something at least semi productive rather than wait anxiously for Gon like a worried pet. He boots up a video game before flopping back on the couch, making himself comfortable atop the leather and cotton, and fills his time immersing himself in a fantasy universe, only pausing to save his game when he feels his eyes strain at the suddenly harsh light emanating from the television. His gaze detaches from the screen for the first time after several hours and he immediately notes the reason for his straining vision, taking in the dim living room light coming from the open curtains, and confirming that the sun is indeed setting for the day behind the canvas of grey clouds. No rain can be heard save for the small drip of leftover droplets falling on surfaces every other beat. The knot he felt forming in the pit of his stomach this morning evidently revealing itself to be simmering restlessness as the day passes.
Sitting up he stretches and walks over to turn on the living room lamp, throwing himself back onto the couch once the space is lit up warmly before he hears the tell tale sound of the front door opening. Killua perks up, listening as Gon's rustling fills the silence in the house, front door slamming shut, loud footsteps becoming lighter as he takes off his squelchy boots at the foyer, hanging his drenched coat to dry. The sounds are the first real comfort he's experienced today.
Gon beams the moment he walks further inside and spots Killua sprawled on the couch, and its radiance alleviates the somewhat anxious energy that has lingered inside Killua since he breathlessly jack-knifed awake this morning. Killua returns the smile from the couch, albeit a lot less extroverted than Gon's, and immediately regrets it when Gon springs towards him, almost definitely looking to bear hug Killua into oblivion in his soaked state. Killua hisses like an agitated cat at this rapid fire realization, and takes off before Gon can catch him, bolting up the stairs with the island boy close in tow. He makes it into the room yelling, "Shower! Shower first, you idiot! Gon don't you dare-!"
But Gon makes it into the room before Killua can slam the door shut in his face and predictably tackles Killua powerfully, no thought to how lingering raindrops were seeping into the cloth of Killua's dry shirt. Killua just groans defeatedly and lets himself be held, shivering at Gon's damp, cold skin rubbing against his own warm freshly showered skin. Gon hums happily, holding onto Killua's waist, smacking a kiss on Killua's cheek before actually following orders and beginning to peel off his shirt, making his way into the bathroom. Killua sighs once Gon has shut the door behind him, given a moment to think since Gon walked in, smiling privately when he overhears Gon's indisct rustling noises emanating from the bathroom and the muffled sound of the shower head turning on.
He looks around their room and witnesses the last of the day's grey light fade away from their bedroom windows, flopping on top of the cool bed sheets after turning on the lamp by Gon's side of the bed, shrouding the room in a soft light. He lays on his back, taking up as much as space as his long limbs can manage on the large mattress, staring at the ceiling while the steady background drum of the shower stream lulls him into a spacey state of mind. His thoughts wander and he worriedly bites his lip. It's not the first time a nightmare of his has leaked ceaselessly into his thoughts during the day time. Some of his night terrors have rattled him to the bone, so poignant and real-seeming that they elicit unconscious physical reactions from him deep in his sleep. One time he unknowingly smacked Alluka in the face, much to her annoyance. He figures last night's sequence of images falls into that category, and although not waking straight up sobbing or having trouble breathing this morning, it did leave its ugly images imprinted in his brain. Images of Gon's skeletal, wrung out body --that were at times real, albeit blurry memories of that day-- coupled with waking up in an emptier than usual house had perhaps been the cause for Killua's distant head space today. Waking up to Gon gone , even momentarily, struck a similar cord that the horrid memories often do; rivaled only by terrors of warped imagery of Illumi and his needles, or anything that involved Alluka and Nanika in danger. Nightmares, or trauma induced memory supercuts of the sort, still plague him from time to time, and he's come to accept it as part of his life at this point... But they're especially difficult to navigate in desolation. Alone from his Alluka and Nanika, and especially Gon.
He's startled from his spiraling thoughts as said man emerges from the bathroom, humming a tune as he makes his way towards their shared dresser and picks out some comfortable basketball shorts and a pair of clean boxers. Killua watches in silent appreciation the mesmerizing ripples of Gon's muscles reflected on the smooth skin of his back, the towel around his hips dangerously low, unbeknownst to Gon, from his position on the bed. Ripples the pads of his boney fingers are well acquainted with.
Gon abruptly turns towards said bed and Killua quickly adverts his gaze, the tell tale position of his propped elbows and lowered head obviously giving him away. He closes his eyes, hiding sapphire from the world and only hears Gon maneuvering on his clothes and his feet pad their way to the bed; feels the dip in the mattress and a warmth settle over him as a calloused hand runs through his snowy bangs, a graceful cheekbone, slowly down his jaw, settling in lightly grabbing his chin. Killua stifles a pleased sigh, relishing quietly in the touch. Briefly a pair of lips connect with his, drawing away before Killua can manage to reciprocate, and releasing his captive chin.
Killua dips his head again, shyly opening his eyes, and locks them with two amber pools above him through his dark eyelashes, trying and failing to obscure his every emotion in his expression from the knowing gaze. With Gon it was almost impossible though, as the man could look right through his icy stares as if they were polished floor to ceiling windows into himself.
Curiously the expression on Gon's face is a bit reserved, watching Killua with a look that conveys Is this what you want? To which Killua can only think, Yes, of course idiot, what else? I need you now and forever, more than anything else.
He doesn't voice it, but rather wraps his arms around Gon's neck, to voicelessly reassure him and pull him in. The latter follows suit, fully flattening Killua onto his back and settling himself between pliant, pale legs, calloused fingers taking their time grazing upwards along the flesh of his sensitive inner thighs. An unconscious touch as he focuses on Killua's face, his pinking blush and already dilated pupils, and his small pleasured whirr of Gon's name against the tan boy's lips beckoning Gon like a siren's call.
Despite the sudden droopiness coursing through his limbs, emotionally exhausted after such a seemingly long day, he feels unequivocally electrified with Gon now finally a presence in his space since what feels like an eternity, but was only just last night. He unravels effortlessly at his mercy, a perfect storm of pliant and wanton and wholly transparent, one that Gon always seems to soothe easily out of him. He runs one of his hands through Gon's thick spikes, musing the damp locks distractedly as he pleases and scratching lightly at his scalp, his other hand scratching shallow lines down the defined and broad planes of Gon's back, re-marking charted territory once again.
The hairs on the back of his neck rise as Gon unsuccessfully stifles a low grumble against the nape of Killua's bared neck. He just encourages him in response, running the hands buried in his mussed spikes down to grip the tan neck and hold Gon against him, urging for what they both know Killua wants. Gon understands this subtlety quite expertly by now, and bares his teeth in preparation against the rosy skin, running their blunt tips along the expanse of the pale neck, his jaw, before clamping down sharply on an erratic pulse to stake his claim, biting into the flesh and thoroughly marking it; holding Killua still by grabbing his hips firmly, shaping the milky skin in the silhouette of his fingers. Faded marks re-bloom along the moon colored flesh, as if lighted up by the sun. Killua lets out a breathy moan, wrapping his legs around Gon's torso, resting a heel on the small of his back, and squeezing his thighs around his sturdy middle to pull him closer still. Gon moves his arms to frame Killua below him with his body, hips bucking in response, moving to drag the rising hard on in his pants along Killua's own tented boxers.
"Ah! Gon," Killua pants, seeking purchase on the large form above him, gripping the taut muscle of Gon's shoulders. The restlessness within him mixes with pooling arousal and brews a potent feeling that Killua recognizes intimately; a tangle of desperation and overflowing love that overwhelms him as Gon keeps him locked in place, setting off a chain reaction that lights Killua aflame.
Gon senses Killua's urgency and pulls away to work his boxers off of him. Killua parts his legs, allowing Gon more space as he slips his black underwear off completely and rips off his shirt, tossing them carelessly on the floor, quickly shimmying off his own fresh boxers and shorts, before reaching for Killua and hoisting his long legs back onto their position around his hips. Killua lays exposed, pink flush reflecting on the surface of his transparent-like flesh, mixing with his visible veins and scars. All of which Gon utterly loves, his cock twitching at the sight. Killua can't help the way that reaction drives him crazy. He nudges Gon's hipbone with his calf to wordlessly communicate he wants him pressed flush against his body. Gon does so, encasing Killua with his body heat. Killua buzzes with excitement at the feeling of Gon's cock bumping against his own, looping his arms around Gon's neck once they're face to face again. "Mm oh ," he moans as Gon roughly drags their now naked cocks together, friction amplified. Sapphire orbs chance a glance to the view between them, turned on at the sight of Gon's thick girth rubbing against his own. The sight makes him twitch and heat pool in his groin. Gon observes as Killua stares, a private smirk tugging at his lips.
"See something you like?" He teases. Killua glares up at him, cheeks red. As if Gon could make that particular judgement after the time he not only talked Killua into fucking in front of a precarious system of mirrors that reflected them in conspicuous, specific ways, but also somehow convinced him to do it again.
"Look who's talking," he quips back breathlessly, distracted by the pleasure coursing through him as they rut against each other.
Gon shrugs after a grunt, not at all offended, "You know what I like," he replies gruffly, before adding, "I'm just not embarrassed," with an unashamed grin.
Killua scoffs shakily but concedes, closing his eyes; Gon laughs his boyish laugh at that, and Killu can't disguise his coy grin. Indeed he knows in explicit detail how shameless Gon can be and the things Gon "likes," though he seldom admits the magnitude to which he also likes those things himself; would likely die of embarrassment if ever forced to thoroughly describe how much he likes the mere act of Gon fucking him, wether it be gently or roughly, outside amidst the ruggedness or on their cozy bed; the way he wants to hold on to that warmth that envelops him, the sensation, at every given chance.
Gon reaches for the bedside table momentarily, grabbing a bottle of lube without shutting the small drawer it was stored in. Killua clings to Gon as he settles himself with a propped elbow on Killua's side, his other hand busy squeezing out lube on his palm. Once he coats his fingers adequately enough he takes both of them, wrapping their erections together in one big hand and jerking them gently. Killua sighs, the feeling of Gon's lubed hand holding his hard dick, flush with Gon's, bringing him back to their first times. It's always so good, the friction and promise of Gon's heat-- his proud cock beading with pre-come-- the thought makes him moan. He needs more, impatient as ever to have that heat engulfed within him. "Gooon," he complains lazily, biting his lip to stifle more moans, breathy sighs still exhaling through his nose. Gon smiles, Killua's bratty demeanor giving him away, plain as day. He pecks his flushed ear, releasing his hold on them and bringing his slick fingers to Killua's eager entrance.
"Here?" He asks, teasingly tracing the rough pads of his lubed fingers along the delicate skin of the winking rim and up his taint, watching Killua for any signs of discomfort before carefully slipping in the first finger. Killua whimpers approvingly, fluttering his open eyes. He stares up at Gon with glassy eyes, urging him on with a small moan. Gon focuses intensely on the task at hand, hyper aware of Killua's reactions. He hadn't missed the off-putting look on his face when he'd walked in, dark blue pools sad, and distant. It pained Gon to see it, even when he only just caught glimpses of said look.
Killua on the other hand was trying hard not to let the heaviness that had been building up inside of him all day spill over, an intense wave of relief and gratitude washing over him at Gon's warmth blissfully surrounding him, hard chest pressing him into the mattress and grounding him, his reassuring nature and gentle gestures all for Killua's sake. Gon was here, in his arms, would be inside of him , all the way down the physical level. It was simultaneously too much and not nearly enough. With a pained whine he reaches for Gon, tucking the enhancer's head underneath his chin and petting along his strong jaw and his neck, burying his fingers through the black locks.
Gon had casually mentioned way early on into the start of their more intimate activities that Killua's scent shifted a noticeable bit when they had sex or just whenever Killua was horny. Though that had mortified Killua, as it just unfairly exposed him to Gon --his fragile sexual nature more mortifyingly so-- Gon had also revealed that aside from being an intoxicating smell, it was also as comforting to him as his usual scent; somewhat making him feel like a wild animal that could identify its mate's scent from any other. Weirdly Killua had found that comparison endearing and characteristic of Gon. Gon's scent affinity was a part of him, reflective of his ancestry and childhood after all, and it pleased Killua that something of his, in this case his distinct scent, could be tied to Gon's sense of identity.
Now he cradles Gon's face against his neck where he's aware Gon often seeks out his smell, sighing happily through his nose as Gon lightly inhales, leaving marks and planting tiny wet kisses in trails along his neck and shoulder blades. Killua discreetly basks in Gon's scent as well, though his pallet is much less sophisticated, only catching on to the smell of clean sweat and the generic shampoo Gon uses. It's distinctly Gon to Killua nonetheless, and he flutters his eyes shut in contentment, unconsciously relaxing as another of Gon's thick fingers slips inside his tight ring of muscle.
In moments like these Killua feels a distinct sense of calm and peace. A safety he, to this day, never truly knows whether he can fully trust. With Gon around him, here with him, breathing life into him and lighting him up from within, Killua's very being feels floaty and wrapped up by a feeling he can only describe as a sense of belonging and home. Though he can't help but internally scoff at himself; to someone who's fostered an inherent sense of alienation to his family from a young age, and the latter half of his youth being spent persecuted, hiding away and barely making it alive in the process, the illusion of safety and domestic simplicity is lost on him; yet somehow, Gon plants a seed of reassurance inside of Killua that makes things tangible and conceivable. A grounding effect Gon has on him. For years now they've led what you could call a domestic life together. They share their space, eat their meals and laze around in each other's company, travel together, have sex, and finish their days falling into bed together. Though it's not unusual that Killua will be unable to sleep, and often spends his nights dicking around on the computer, playing video games, working out, meditating; but he'll always end his day crawling into his vacant side of the bed and curling into Gon, letting his radiating body heat lull him to a state of rest. It's all he could ever ask for with Gon, every day spent by his side.
His chest tightens as suffocating knots sprout in his throat, making it hard to use his voice. He swallows to no avail, busies himself with his hands, one of them kneading devotedly at the bunched muscle of Gon's upper back, lithe fingers skimming the collecting perspiration on tan skin while his other hand plays with the light hairs on Gon's nape. Meanwhile Gon is busy barely holding himself back, the perfect storm of Killua's heady, aroused scent plus his affectionate grabbing and heavy petting, topped off with his little appreciative clenches around his fingers driving him up a wall. His cock aches with the need overtaking him, everything besides Killua fading away from his senses.
"Killua," he grumbles reverently, and feels him clench pleasantly around him in return.
Killua’s breath catches at the call of his name, unraveling his knots and pulling forth a small sob from him. Gon freezes at the weak sound, pulling away slightly to look directly at Killua's face, whose eyelids are now pinched shut with tear tracks running down his cheeks. His heart beat sky rockets as the horror that he might have unwittingly hurt Killua catches up with him, dread racing up and down his rapidly chilling veins. He panics, and quickly makes to remove his fingers from their intrusion, ready to give Killua space-
"N-no! Gon-" he hiccups, clenching around Gon and keeping his fingers in place. Gon pauses in his tracks and lets out a panicked whine.
"Killua wh-what's wrong?" He rushes out, brain working in overdrive. A light blush dusting his cheeks at Killua's needy, subconscious reaction to even slightly pulling away.
Killua has cried plenty of times during sex, but the sorrowful energy that clung to him when he'd come home, and the more prominent than usual dark circles framing his electric eyes rang alarms bells in Gon's head when he'd heard the small sob.
The only response he gets is Killua slowly slotting them against each other and closing the small space Gon had put between them in his panic. Gon lets him, nuzzling Killua's tear streaked cheek while trying to reel himself back in.
"I-it was just a nightmare," he whispers by Gon's ear. The latter nods in understanding; he'd figured it was something along those lines when he pondered the look in Killua's eyes.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"No," Killua mumbles, squeezing the circumference of one of Gon's sturdy biceps, lightly trailing his fingers down along the black hairs on his forearm and back up again to wrap along a broad shoulder, his physical reminder that Gon is in fact alive and here with him, and not a grisly, rotten husk of a body enveloped in wicked, dark aura. There were days in his travels with Alluka in which in the back of his mind he'd overthink about the state of Gon's health; if he was faring well, staying out of trouble. Even now that he lives with him the fear of losing him never really disappears, how could it? But he's brought back to the present, Gon being with him, choosing him; because it has to be Killua , because he loves him . That they're way past that dark era in their relationship and that Gon knows .
Knows how much Killua needs him to stay right by his side. And inversely, Killua knows how much the same is true for Gon.
His eyes scrunch shut painfully, a shudder leaving him as he tries to speak again. He takes a small steadying breath.
"It was just the ones about you," he speaks quietly into the sacred space, or lack thereof, between them. Gon hums, hides his face in the marked skin of Killua's neck, breathing in his comforting scent, and trying his best not to let his thoughts run away from him. He'd never really known exactly what his physical body had looked like after all was said and done. He remembers Leorio saying 'bad didn't even begin to cover it' at one point, and simply going by Killua's recurring nightmares, whose by comparison entire life up to that whole ordeal was its own waking nightmare, he can only imagine the pain at just the sight of him had caused. Sometimes he has difficulty describing his own nightmares, remnant pieces of scattered memories, but all that truly sticks is a young Killua's horrified expression, an electric glow emanating from him, hair sticking up. He now knows what to make of that, but back then it was always something that stuck in his mind.
"You weren't here when I woke up," he continues, trying not to choke on another incoming sob. Gon goes to interrupt but Killua cuts him off, "Which is fine of course, I knew where you were... But it was- s-so awful and I just wanted to feel you there-"
" Killua , why didn't you call?" Gon interrupts, now trying to make sure Killua's not the one whose thoughts run away from him.
Killua scoffs, sniffling, "I knew you were gonna be back, and you were busy helping aunt Mito, so..."
He frowns, frustrated that Killua had surely spent the entire day carrying this weight and hadn't even sent him a text message, but even more so frustrated that he hadn't been there this morning.
"Gon, it's okay I don't expect you to be there to baby me after every single nightmare," Killua sniffles, chiding himself because though he did have a rather bleak day, he didn't want to worry Gon needlessly with his behavior. The other shakes his head, "I know you don't, but I want to . I want to be there , Killua ." He feels the body underneath him tremble, a loud sob sounding up through Killua's ribs and out of him intensely. Gon wipes the tear cascading down Killua's sticky cheek, bringing his mouth to the source of that cry and sealing his lips with Killua's, trying to purge the heartache from him through kisses alone.
" I'm here ," he says roughly into open lips, keeping his body as closely smothered to Killua's as physically possible. He trembles and mewls, clenching down around Gon's fingers as if scared he'd gone and removed them as punishment for that disgraceful display. But he feels them move in response to him, in sync to Killua's spilling desire. His breath hitches and another sob resouds up his core, but rather than cry of emotional anguish it's one of pleasure as Gon resumes his stretching digits and grazes that particular bundle of nerves.
Killua clamps his fingers on Gon's shoulders possessively. The latter senses the sting they leave behind, realizing Killua's cat-like claws had probably retracted unbeknownst to him when he'd started crying. He doesn't mention it, enjoying the slight pain as they raise lines down his back muscles, and simply concentrates on lapping up Killuas spilling mewls as he rubs his prostate. He's careful of avoiding that their crotches touch, keeping Killua tied to one channel of pleasure at a time.
He knows he's vulnerable right now, hypersensitive to Gon's ministrations and impatient to have him completely. Gon feels for the forgotten bottle of lube, multi-tasking between keeping Killua relatively placid while re-lubing himself up in order to grant Killua what he wants most. The latter is writhing restlessly on his fingers, sniffling and groaning impatiently.
"G-Gon, I want-ah you inside ," he moans, rocking onto Gon's now motionless fingers. Gon hums above him, removing his slick digits and using his hand to hold Killuas thigh down while he gives himself one, two, three strokes until he's lathered himself up in lube and pre-come adequately enough.
Something about being held down in place by Gon sends a wave of arousal through him, igniting within him an almost forbidden pleasure. The remnant fragments of his insecure childhood mind telling him he should be ashamed at such an idea, spoken in what suspiciously reminds him of his eldest brother's condescending tone. But now, older and wiser himself, he knows that this is simply a part of him, not something wrong or shameful but rather deliriously pleasurable and deeply satisfying. A compatibility he can fully indulge in with Gon. There was a point in time where he'd had to turn over the notion countless times in his head, cheeks flushed and thoughts dizzying as he finally allowed himself to dwell on things like that ; epiphany after sexual epiphany catalyzed by Gon's possessive and rough character that Killua often found himself privately fantasizing about in varying degrees. It turns him on embarrassingly so, makes him want to push until he's molded into the surface of the bed with Gon above him, kept there for Gon alone.
He writhes purposefully, and Gon rewards him with a strong, stilling grip, opening him up as he brings his slick cock to line up with his eager, pink and puckered entrance. He has half a mind to roll over on his stomach, flatten himself against the sheets and let Gon do what he does best --claim what's his and fill him up-- but he's also overwhelmed by a need to be able to see Gon and reciprocate anything given tonight. Killua bites his bottom lip, the tantalizing drags of Gon's pre-come covered head against his sensitive rim, up his taint, and rubbing down again making him quiver in anticipation. He's on the verge of chewing Gon off for not going in already when he feels the stretch of the large head push him apart, firmly but gently. He whirs and feels tension leaving his muscles, deflating him into the mattress at his back. Gon comes to engulf him with his hulking form, locking his eyes above Killua's, followed by pushing in achingly slow, reshaping him from the inside. Killua's mouth hangs agape and he reaches out to grip the sheets underneath him, before deciding better of it and latching onto Gon. As the man bottoms out inside of him, he reaches up, licking into Gon's mouth and watching with lidded eyes as Gon face scrunches up with the effort of kissing Killua while he's being sucked into his unrelenting warmth. They stay still for a moment, heaving breaths and the smacking of wet lips the only sound in the room.
He'd be content to sit there and make out while Gon's pulsing inside of him, but then Gon groans heartily into his mouth, thrusting shallowly, and Killua is reminded that he'd very much like more of that. Gon moves to kiss along Killua's jaw, pecking his reddened ear and nestling his face into the warm, ivory skin of his neck. Killua pets along Gon's shoulders, squeezing the large biceps encasing him as Gon drags his cock out of his walls before fitting snugly inside of him again.
"Killua, so tight, mmh- so p-perfect for me," He groans, lifting his head up slowly to watch him. Heat blooms within the darkest pit in Killua, and he rolls his head back to hit the pillow, embarrassed but spurred on by the praise to let Gon see the way his flush colors deeper. Gon follows his motion, bringing their mouths together again to kiss Killua breathless. He can't stifle his whimper, already so high strung from just a few words and some light thrusts. "Gon," he sighs against the man's mouth, nibbling at his bottom lip teasingly. Gon growls, rutting deeper into Killua, purposefully pushing into the encompassing velvet. Killua sighs gratefully, clenching lovingly around Gon's large girth while grasping at the shoulders serving as his perch to urge him on. He collects a bead of sweat trickling down from the raven's hairline before it can reach amber eyes, framing Gon's face in his palms and brushing the definition of his cheek bones with the pad of his thumbs.
Their gazes lock like that, Killua's starry, half lidded eyes taking in Gon's intense focus. It makes Killua want to do so many things to him. His eyes flutter shut briefly, enjoying the light sting that usually comes at first, before the fullness gives way to eclipsing pleasure. Gon watches, enraptured, trying his best to properly angle his steady thrusts. He indulges in the heat and softness that welcomes him, always awestruck at the way they connect, Killua's little pulses and minute movements luring out a side of him only Killua will ever know.
"Killua," he rumbles gruffly, deep from within his chest into Killua's pliant mouth. The latter whines, toes curling and walls clamping down on Gon's cock. "Make me yours," Killua gasps (commands), teary eyes fluttering open, boring straight into Gon's soul.
"You've always been mine," he replies in a reverent, possessive tone. The statement resonates to Killua's core, coiling inside him and spilling pre-come on his belly.
"Never let me forget," he demands, breath hitching, tears threatening to resurface, feeling like he's offering his gaping, bleeding heart to Gon; who accepts it happily, without hesitation, the exact same way he accepted him for who he was when they were twelve years old, getting to know everything about each other for the first time. Gon surges forward, chasing after those lips seeking his. Killua meets him halfway, smashing their lips together, sealing promises. He moans as their tongues drag together, goosebumps erupting along his flesh as Gon grabs both of his thighs and pushes them forward until he's essentially folded in half. With better purchase he begins thrusting intently, every movement of Killua's body registering in his brain until he feels Killua trembling, moaning sweetly into his mouth. Killua's flexibility allows for an otherwise physically taxing position to smoothly connect them further, his skinny ankles resting on Gon's broad back.
He recalls when he'd yearned for this in the past; the times when simply Gon's proximity would exhilarate him, every brush of skin a cherished memory. Now he gets to hold the object of his affection and desire in a vice grip, one meant for Gon alone to slot and rut himself into, mark and imprint in his essence.
"Fuck," Gon swears gruffly, eyebrows drawn together in focus and lips set in a firm line. The rare curse tugs at Killua's heart, as he witnesses Gon get lost to him. He pecks Gon's cheek, nuzzling a trail to his mouth and licking a stripe along his grimaced lips, before leaving a chaste kiss there as well.
"Mmnh," he croons, speaking in their wordless love tongue. He can divulge all sorts of information by the tone of Gon's moans alone. Sounds that Killua works devoutly to coax out of him every time they find themselves tangled in each other in some way, shape or form. His grunts, groans, throaty moans and worshipful breaths of Killua entwining effortlessly with his own moans, gasps, and whines of Gon .
The slowly disappearing anguish from Killua's disposition soothes Gon's soul, and he's reminded how grateful he is to be by Killua's side, where he can hold him and tell him he loves him everyday. He pours his energy into making Killua unravel, just the way he likes, because loving Killua, matching him every step of the way in absolutely everything, will always be his most worthy goal.
"Gon, right there!" Killua gasps softly, mouth agape, eyes clouded in want. Gon grips his firm thighs harder, surely leaving bruises in the shape of his fingers, maneuvering himself with the intention of hitting that spot without fail.
He gazes unabashedly in awe at the beauty beneath him. Never in his life prior to leaving his home at the age of twelve did he think he'd be blessed with meeting someone as amazing as Killua in such a vast, unsympathetic world. Never did he think he'd be lucky enough to be his best friend, much less his lover, the only one who gets to see him like this, the reason why Killua becomes undone the way he does, for him . Perhaps it's selfish, but he revels in it, counts his blessings everyday that they fit together just as seamlessly post-reuniting as they had when they first raced each other to the end of that tunnel on the day of their fateful encounter. If anything the events at NGL and East Gorteau and all that followed helped them come together again, with a deeper understanding for each other once they had time apart to dwell on everything. One might say it all happened so fast, it's no wonder they crash landed and burned. That all the heartache could've been avoided by never venturing from Whale Island and forgetting chasing after something so seemingly unattainable and far away-- that deciding to take the hunter exam was what started this all and should be his biggest regret. But truly, and in retrospect, he’s thankful for everything that has happened to him up to this point in his life. His journey truly began when he'd first met Kite, and it ended once he got to meet him again, only in the end he finally managed to reach his goal, the thing so important in his mind at the time he followed in the same footsteps as his father's, leaving Whale Island and his family behind. Only to then find out, through Ging's resonating words, what is more important to him than talking to the very man who had been the whole reason for his journey. His journey of self realization, in which he would come to understand his true biggest regret was dismissing and pushing away the most important person in his life when he needed said person most.
Killua, who had been infinitely more important than what he had wanted, a realization that would dawn on him too late, just after parting ways with him for God only knew how long at the time. He'd be left to stew in that revelation, after the World Tree and meeting Ging, to when he started making his way back home and then everyday to come.
Killua is a vision to say the very least. Gon had been captivated the moment he had laid eyes on him, thinking he was the coolest kid he'd ever met when he kickflipped off his skateboard. That could be attributed to the fact he'd never really met other kids his age growing up, and how he'd been surrounded by the same people throughout most of his early childhood. But with time, through their travels, they would meet many remarkable people, and as Gon grew older he realized no one ever compared to Killua. The sense that he might feel something beyond platonic love for his best friend arose following their separation, until it cemented as the inevitable truth.
"Hah," Gon rasps against his open lips, "I love you." Killua licks into his mouth, staring at him in that specifically tender way Gon remembered as a kid, the manifestation of Killua's growing affections for him at the time. Now Killua's able to reveal that vulnerability in moments when Gon can witness it, though more often than not it just simply escapes Killua, his fervent, boiling emotions too much to repress.
When Gon gazes upon that expression, he's floored by its sincerity, only able to stare in wonderment. He's still baffled, not because he thinks Killua is incapable of such tenderness-- he'd known for as long as he can remember that deep beneath Killua's harsh exterior, which had been a carefully constructed coping mechanism necessary to survive in the environment he'd grown up in, was a boy who loves deeper than the ocean runs-- but rather he's baffled because he never thought he'd be at the sole receiving end of those feelings.
"Mm 'love you too," Killua hums, speaking directly into Gon's mouth. "I would have pulled you on top of me on the couch, but you really needed a shower," he simpers, eyes bashful yet simultaneously mischievous.
Gon laughs, "I was just a little wet."
"Yeah, and sweaty," Killua frowns, jokingly reprimanding, flicking Gon's side. Gon just smiles suggestively down at him, and Killua groans exasperatedly, "Don't you dare say anything embarrassing."
"I don't know what you mean, Killua," he mocks in fake confusion, beaming at Killua's indignantly closed eyes and haughty pout. To say Killua doesn't mind sweaty would be an understatement, his brain helpfully supplying him with some very vivid memories.
"Are you gonna fuck me or what?" Killua asks, grabbing Gon's cheeks and squishing them together, knocking Gon out of his daze. He releases him, kissing him soundly on the lips as a small apology.
Gon growls, using his grip on the milky thighs to pull Killua against him, pushing his cock in deep. "Like that?" He asks gruffly. Killua breathes out a soft yes, using his own strength to rut against Gon. They rock together in tandem, the sounds of their exertion and skin hitting skin filling the room. Gon dips down to lick one of two, pink perky nipples that had been calling to him, biting and sucking harshly. Killua groans, pulling at Gon's jet black hair. He bites his lip to stifle the string of embarrassing noises just wanting to slip out of him as the feeling of Gon tantalizingly thrusting in and out of him and playing with his nipples overwhelms him. Gon releases the abused nub, kissing Killua's sternum before moving to the other one. His long fingers card through Gon's spikes, pushing strands back to watch him as he entertains himself with his heaving chest. He releases the sensitive nubs, looking down satisfied with himself. Killua watches him, and if he weren't already the color of a tomato he'd be turning a shade of some variation of red at the sight. Gon let's go of Killua's marked up thighs, moving to grab hold of him by his sides for more accuracy.
He grips him hard, thrusting in and out hard so that his balls smack against Killua's stretched out hole. The mind numbing sensation of Gon's cock hitting his prostate makes him whine low in his throat. His brain is hazing up, quickly losing all functions and blurring all thoughts except Gon , Gon inside him , lovingly rearranging his guts, coming in so deep he'll be full of it for days.
He searches blindly for his mouth, and is met with the feeling Gon's animalistic grunts against his lips. " Killua ," he groans, the low register and needy plea going straight to Killua's balls. He'd live out the rest of his days lying entangled with Gon, hearing the sound of his name on his lips on repeat forever if he could, especially the way he says it now, reverently, possessively, perfectly.
"Gon," he breathes, his pace building rapidly, every snap of his hips jostling Killua up the sheets with the resounding echo of skin slapping, his dick had steadily leaked a tiny puddle of come on his stomach, pulsing with the need to go off. Gon's cock hitting his prostate was reducing him to a delirious pleasure, eyes rolling to the ceiling and fingers clamping down on Gon's shoulders, Gon, Gon, Gon -
" Gon - harder !" He gasps, music to Gon's ears. He snaps his hips with force, each thrust reaching deep, accepted by Killua's soft, yielding cavern. The sensation brings out a primal behavior that takes over him, and he bites down unapologetically on Killua's jumping pulse, an almost pained groan leaving his chest as he claims Killua.
"O oh-fuck, Gon !" Killua snarls, ready to be filled, to make Gon come. Gon growls, muscles bunching in warning. " Killua, I'm close -" He grunts, balls tensing at the anticipation, the mere thought, of spilling inside his Killua. The latter just whines, searching desperately for Gon's hands. Gon manages to pick up on his movements and grabs his wrists, roughly pinning him to the bed with a growl. He knows they're Killua's second favorite place to adorn bruises, perhaps third favorite, and presses so that he'll see Killua's fingertips distractedly trace along the discolored skin in the way he does the day after, a subconscious habit Gon had been delighted to discover. Killua purrs, pleased, " Uhhnn- fuck!, I need it!- Gon, come inside me! "
" Killua! " His guts twist, violently blowing his load at the words with a deep thrust, groaning deliriously as he ruts inside the pulsing heat brutishly, the echo of Killua's voice ringing in his head
" Gon! " Feeling Gon's thick come pump into him and coating his walls pushes him over the edge, toes curled in bliss and eyes rolled into his head at the satisfaction of being both filled and coming. Above him Gon moans throatily, thrusting in stuttering bursts, riding out his orgasm as his last few spurts of seed are pushed inside Killua. He watches Killua slowly come back down to earth, the dopey post-coital expression on his pink cheeks and radiating satisfaction subduing a hunger inside Gon. He reaches to kiss him, and Killua opens for him sluggishly, panting against him.
"Stay inside," Killua huffs before Gon can pull out. He remains inside, Killua's little sucking clenches milking him for all he's worth. He muffles his grunts against the crook of his sweet smelling neck, kissing his rosy shoulders while he continues to rut shallowly into the tightening and un-tightening, come soaked heat. It feels so blissfully loving. The moment passes as they lick into each other, wet kisses that resound on the walls of their room. Gon remains inside, half hard at this point, until Killua is eventually satisfied.
He sighs contentedly, pecking Gon on the lips and relenting his hold on his sensitive member in order to allow him to move freely. Gon pulls out with a sigh, careful not to make a mess before quickly grabbing some tissues from the bedside table, making efficient work of cleaning them up, getting out of the bed to throw the dirty tissues away in the bathroom trash can. Then, he pads back to find Killua has simply rolled onto his side and closed his eyes.
"Killua, don't you wanna shower?" He asks, sitting on the edge of the bed and grabbing one of the pale, long legs stretched out on top of the sheets; Kissing the jutting bone of his ankle before adding, "I can carry you." He grabs the bottle of lube on the bed, closing the lid before storing it back in the drawer, closing it shut. He gets a noise that vaguely sounds like a decline in response before Killua confirms in a slurred murmur that he showered earlier. Gon nods affirmatively, slipping the sheets from under Killua and draping them over him, climbing back into the bed, and moving to the side Killua has his back to. He crawls under the covers, and spoons his drowsy kitten, holding him against his naked chest, fixing the sheets so that they cover their bodies comfortably.
Their labored breathing falls in tune, the only leftover sound of their lovemaking. Killua pets the arm Gon has draped over his middle, holding his hand. His deft, slim fingers trace delicate patterns along the protruding veins, trailing inward into his palm to map out the callouses that make up the expanse of the hand he holds.
He brings it to his lips, kissing the rough knuckles and folding his fingers to fit in between Gon's, appreciating the contrast in their skin tones and shape. The latter settled comfortably along his back, kissing the damp, fine white hairs at his nape. Killua shivers, submitting to the spell of sleep coaxing him unconscious after that cathartic orgasm. The sound of Gon's breathing, as well as the patter of scattered rain drops, unifying in a drowsy lullaby. He feels Gon's thumb rub patterns on the back of his intertwined hand and before he knows it, falls into a dreamless sleep. Gon listens to his breathing evening out, peace of mind at Killua's at contentment luring him into his own deep sleep.
An indeterminable amount of hours later, Killua stirs awake for a brief moment to the distant rumble of thunder, occasional flashes of white lighting up the room. Behind him Gon is snoring softly, his hand limply hanging onto his own. He snuggles against Gon, squeezing his hand, before falling asleep again.