Chapter Text
Akira Kurusu wasn't the same after what had gone down in the boiler room. It felt like he was on autopilot most of the time, only half-listening to any conversations he had, not saying anything unless asked a question. When he did speak, he kept his answers short, unlike other times where he would joke around a bit. His teammates simply passed it off as fatigue. They were going through a whole lot after all. He couldn't even sleep properly at night. But how could he? There was just too much going on all at once: several questions, but not enough answers.
At times like these, he would relieve the stress by going to the Thieves' Den. The Thieves' Den, according to José's explanation and his understanding, was best described as something between the Velvet Room and a Palace. He could access it easily at any time he wanted, and he used the space as a way to escape reality, if only for a little bit. It was a large room that somewhat resembled a movie theater lobby, with important memories of his confidants as the available movies. Gifts, rewards, and past calling cards were also plastered on the walls, along with movie posters representing all the palaces they've infiltrated. In the center were statues of former Palace rulers, statues of various cognitions from said palaces, and displays of a few Personas. Most importantly, there were cognitions of all his confidants walking around, sometimes stopping to comment on the various things in the room, as if they were really there. They were all extremely faithful to their real-life counterparts, possibly a sign of how well he knew them. He could even play a round of tycoon with them, and it felt almost like the real thing, all the way down to Ryuji moping over his losses, Morgana being overconfident as usual, and Akechi being the one person who always plays mercilessly despite agreeing to play casually.
His thoughts have been circulating around Akechi a lot recently...
Akira knew far too well that he would have to face Akechi at some point. He knew far too well Akechi wasn't being completely honest about himself. He knew far too well that he was planning to betray the Phantom Thieves. Planning to betray him by plotting to put a bullet in his head.
And yet... despite all that, he got close to him. Hung out with him whenever he had the free time to. What had started as a plan to keep an eye on him ended becoming something far more complicated. In fact, Akechi was the one person who he prioritized time with. The one person where he felt completely at ease with despite his ulterior motives.
How could someone like Akechi be a bad person? He would wonder foolishly before dismissing the thought entirely. Akira, out of all people, would know all about masking one's true personality with a carefully crafted facade. The Goro Akechi the public saw was a near-flawless individual, an incredibly handsome teen idol, a child genius, the so-called Second Coming of The Detective Prince after the original Naoto Shirogane.
But that wasn't the Goro Akechi Akira knew.
The Goro Akechi he knew didn't really care for his outside appearances. He stated himself that all of it was a ploy to get close to Shido, plain and simple. In reality, he was never the "prim and proper" Detective Prince everyone thought he was. All of that was part of his public persona, another layer of his personality made to mask his true feelings and intentions. Once Akira got to know him better, the act started to slip away. Akechi would later on noticeably be more brutally honest with him, before slipping back to his Detective Prince persona once someone else was watching. Akechi was never afraid to share his personal opinion on something with him after their first meeting at the TV station, where Akira had caught the detective's attention after giving an answer that directly opposed his. In fact, Akechi always seemed to be impressed with how attentive and honest Akira could be with him.
...
"You used your right hand." Akira said once he lost the pool match to Akechi. "Aren't you left-handed?"
"...Not bad." Akechi said with a smile more genuine than the one he usually uses. "I'm surprised you noticed, Kurusu. I switched hands during our match. Going all-out on a junior is a bit gauche don't you think? It's nothing personal, of course."
"If that's the case... No holding back next time." Akira said. The chance of beating the Detective Prince himself at his own game was too good to resist.
Akechi gave a small chuckle. "In any case, you truly are an interesting person, Kurusu. You never fail to intrigue me. "
...
Akira could say the same about him as well. Conversations with Akechi were never boring; on the contrary, they were rather thought-provoking, which Akira enjoyed. Akechi's overly-formal tone combined with his usage of obscure quotes and idioms never failed to amuse Akira. If Akira was being honest, he searched the things Akechi had said before every now and then. Who exactly paraphrases Hegel in casual conversation? Of course, it was expected from someone like Akechi, whose intellect and wit was something that rivaled Akira's own, something he can compete and keep up with. That's when he learned another thing about Akechi: he hated losing, not unlike Akira.
...
"I'm going to be completely honest with you: I hate you." Akechi had said, his rather aggressive tone not matching his somewhat tight smile. "Your deft handling of unfortunate circumstances, your uniqueness, your ability to surpass me—all of that irritates me." Akechi gritted his teeth. "You are the one person I refuse to lose to."
"Same here." Akira had said in reply. After all, what kind of a rival would he be if he had allowed it? "Must hate losing as well, huh?"
"... I didn't even know it was this severe." Akechi said, looking at him incredulously. "You truly are... something else. I'll let you have this win today, but next time I will be victorious. Let this be my proof."
Akechi swiftly took his glove off and tossed it to Akira. "It is a tradition in the West to throw one's glove at their opponent when demanding a duel. Should the opponent accept the glove, the duel is also accepted."
Akira gave Akechi a wide grin. "I accept."
Akechi smiled lightly in return. "Make certain that you'll never forget: I am the one who will defeat you."
...
But then, Akira had noticed something else about Akechi. He noticed how he seemed to genuinely enjoy his time with The Phantom Thieves and especially with Akira himself. He noticed how different his smile looked on his TV interviews versus the quiet kind of smile he had when sipping coffee at Leblanc. He noticed how he would laugh much more often around Akira, and that laugh wasn't the hollow one he would normally use.
...
"You don't actually hate Joker, do you?" Mona had said. Joker could have sworn he saw Akechi's expression falter, ever so slightly.
...
Maybe, Akira thought. Maybe he actually cared. Maybe Goro Akechi cared about Akira Kurusu the same way he did. Maybe, just maybe, Akechi could have been saved, if only they had met sooner.
...
"Let's make a deal... You won't say no now...will you?" Akechi said from the other side of the wall. "Please... steal Shido's heart in my stead... End his crimes once and for all!"
This can't be happening... Right? Akechi promised a rematch, didn't he? Akira thought. He was just so, so tired of it all, his mind a jumble of emotions he couldn't hope to sort out at the moment. But the Phantom Thieves had bigger, more important problems to worry about.
"I'll hold on to your glove." was the only thing he was able to say, only loud enough for Akechi to hear.
Akira hears a snort from the other side. "After all this... That's what you have to say?" Akechi said, with more fondness than he's ever heard from him. "Seriously Akira... You really are..."
...
When Shido was taken care of, and the Igor he knew of in the Velvet Room turned out to be nothing but an impostor who had rigged his so-called "rehabilitation" from the start, Akira was furious. None of it was fair. Both he and Akechi, set up like chess pieces, only to fail. To use Lavenza's words, the cards of fate were stacked deeply against them.
...
"To decide the fate of the world, the false God chose two people with the potential and pitted them against each other." Lavenza explained. "Goro Akechi, who incited the masses' distortion, and a Trickster who would rise up against this—that person was none other than Akira Kurusu."
Hearing Lavenza's explanation only left a sick feeling in his stomach. They really were both doomed from the start. But... It did confirm one other thing Akira wondered about: Akechi having more than one distinct persona. His friends did have a persona other than the one they first awakened to but those were more of an evolution than an entirely separate persona. It only meant one thing: Akechi was a Wild Card, just like him. And if that power caused Akira to defy his own death once...
He could only hope.
"There's no need for that." Somebody had said, interrupting his conversation with Sae.
"A-Akechi?" Akira stuttered in shock. "You're...alive?"
"It appears that way." Akechi said, with a tone of sarcasm only he can pull off.
Goro Akechi was alive. He had somehow miraculously survived Shido's Palace. Relief flooded through Akira's chest. Wait, no, not just relief. Akira was happy.
"I'll agree to testify against Shido and his crimes." Akechi said to Sae before turning to face him. "I assume that works for you?"
Wait, what? Akira's mood soured. "You're turning yourself in?"
His head was starting to hurt from everything that had been happening, first Shido, then Yaldabaoth, now this? How lucky of him indeed.
Akira could only gape at Akechi as he walked away with Sae. Even with a confession, there was simply no way to prove the Metaverse existed without bringing everyone in there, and that could potentially cause another problem like Shido. Not to mention that proving the existence of the Metaverse would lead the court to ask even more questions. However, it wasn't like he could do anything about it. It was Akechi's choice to turn himself in, anyways.
Christmas day came, and Akira told the news to the rest of the Phantom Thieves. Most of them thought it was a good thing that Akechi decided to turn himself in and atone for his crimes. They were all trying to enjoy themselves with the potluck, but the mood eventually turned sullen. As much as they tried to ignore it, a lot was still happening at the moment.
"If only Mona were here to celebrate..." Futaba said with a sigh.
"I was trying not to bring it up... But yes." Makoto said.
The sound of the door opening alerted everyone, and they turned around to see Sojiro come back into the café, holding a familiar black cat.
Akira was just as shocked as everyone else, but nonetheless happy to see him again. According to Morgana, the only part of himself that disappeared was his form in the Metaverse, leaving his cat form in reality. The somber atmosphere from earlier quickly disappeared, and instead was replaced by the cheers and laughter of the group, rejoicing Morgana's return.
"Things are finally back to normal!" Haru said happily, as they watched Futaba aggressively pet Morgana, while the cat was trying to wrestle his way out of her grip.
"Yeah, I guess they are." Akira said, smiling.
All their hard work finally paid off.
This was it.
One final calling card, and it's all over.
Akira knew something was up the moment he saw a human Morgana and an extremely noticeable not-dead Wakaba Isshiki and Kunikazu Okumura. It unnerved him a whole lot. Fate really did like toying with him, huh? Just when Akira thought everything was over and done with yet another problem shows up. Only this time, he didn't have the assistance of the Phantom Thieves for the most part. Dr. Maruki wasn't kidding when he said he gained the power to warp reality. All his friends were completely convinced that everything was real and didn't do much until Maruki had turned Sumire's persona berserk.
Well, all his friends except Akechi. Akira assumed it was a Wild Card thing, but Akechi was the only other person besides Akira aware of all the abrupt changes in the world around him. Together, they made a deal to stop Maruki at all costs. The calling card was already in his pocket, ready to be given.
No more backing out now. No more what-ifs.
...
"This doesn't only affect you Kurusu-kun. Akechi-kun, this involves you too." Maruki had said.
It felt like the blood in Akira's veins had turned into ice. "What do you mean 'Akechi's involved?'"
"The relationship you two share is very unusual. Despite supposedly being enemies, your relationship isn't based on hatred or I'll-will. That's why I found it so tragic when I learned what happened in Shido's palace." Maruki shook his head. "Didn't you regret how things ended, Kurusu-kun? You two came to a deep understanding of each other... but you had no choice but to leave Akechi-kun to his fate. That's why I wanted you two to have a fresh start in this new reality."
Akira frowned. A fresh start?
Wait.
Everyone else had their wishes granted in this reality, all their subconscious desires actualized. Something to tempt them into staying. If Maruki were to be believed, this offer extends to him as well. Except... he hasn't encountered anything of the sort.
Unless...
No, it can't be...
Morgana shuffled a bit beside him, realization dawning upon him as well. "That would mean that the Akechi in the real world is..."
Maruki smiled sadly. "See what I mean?"
No, no, no. This wasn't happening. He refused to believe the Akechi standing right in front of him was just another illusion. No, Maruki has to be lying. He just has to be. Akechi can't be dead. How can a dead person use a persona? And if Akechi was an illusion, why would he be so eager to get rid of this reality? Akechi was simply just too flawed, too real to properly fit in Maruki's idea of a perfect reality.
Unless... If he really were brought back by Maruki, it would work in the same way it did with Okumura and Wakaba. He would revive them based on someone else's cognition of them. In other words, the Wakaba in the fake reality was based on Futaba's memories of her, and Okumura was based on Haru's wishes of having her father return to the nicer man he was before.
And Akira knew very well that he knew Goro Akechi better than anyone else. All Maruki would have to do is take his cognition of Goro and make it reality, and he wouldn't tell the difference.
Fuck.
No Akira, you're overthinking this too much.
"And that matters how, exactly?" Akechi asked, aggression lacing his words. "Don't think dangling my life before us is going to have any impact on our decision."
"So... You knew?" Akira said, hurt. He knew and didn't tell him?
"I lacked conclusive evidence. However, after I fought against you all I had a gap in my memory that ended with meeting up with Akira again." Akechi said. "There were also the cases of Wakaba Isshiki and President Okumura... Of course, I'd find all of that suspicious."
"I had a feeling the truth of the matter wouldn't dissuade you, Akechi-kun, but what about you?" Maruki turned to face Akira. "I'm still going to ask you, one last time: Will you accept this reality? You were the guiding light to my research. I have nothing but gratitude for you—not a single ounce of ill will. That’s why I wanted you of all people to understand."
But Akira didn't give an answer. He wasn't even sure if he could.
"...Perhaps I shouldn’t ask you for an answer on the spot like that." Maruki shook his head." I’ll be going now."
"You forgot something." Akira took the calling card out of his breast pocket and tossed it to the councilor.
"Ah, yes. I've heard your calling." He nodded. "I’ll be waiting in the Palace tomorrow, just as I promised. If you still haven’t changed your mind by then, we’ll meet there… But if you don’t show, I’ll take that to mean you’ve accepted my reality."
With that, Maruki left.
"So..." Morgana said after a moment of silence. "What are you gonna do?"
Akechi spoke up suddenly. "I'd like to speak with Akira."
Morgana gave him a sad look. "Gotcha. I’ll leave the decision up to you, Akira."
Morgana left after that, giving them a bit of privacy.
The silence was deafening. His stomach filled with dread. The once-calm atmosphere of Leblanc becoming uneasy. Akira said he'd be prepared for whatever is to come, but nothing could have prepared him for this.
"…I will carve my own path for myself." Akechi said, breaking the silence. "I refuse to accept a reality concocted by someone else, stuck under their control for the rest of my days."
Akira couldn't bring himself to look him in the eye. "But then, you'll..."
"So what?" Akechi said harshly. "All you have to do is stick to your guns and challenge Maruki. Or are you really so spineless that you’d fold over some bullshit, trivial threat on my life?"
"This is your life we're talking about here, Akechi!" Akira said, trying and failing to maintain his composure. "Don't—" His hands balled up into fists. "Don't oversimplify this."
"Oh, but it IS simple." Akechi continued, tone unwavering. "Do you think I’d be happy with this? Being shown mercy now, of all times? I don’t want to be pitied—this isn’t something I’m debating with you!" He continued to lecture Akira as if his life wasn't on the line. "Your indecisiveness on the matter is essentially a betrayal of my wishes."
It wasn't fair.
It just wasn't fair.
It was suddenly becoming hard to breathe. Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes, threatening to spill any moment now. Akira realized as well how much he was shaking. He can't make this decision. He doesn't want to make this decision.
"...I want to hear you say it aloud. What do you intend to do?"
Akira knows what he has to do. He knows that it's the right thing to do. But, didn't all his problems start because he did "what was right?"
But who was he kidding? No good deed goes unpunished. There had always been a price to pay. And now, Akira was beginning to think that that price was too high.
Sure, he had friends, wonderful friends who he had helped throughout the year, and they all together formed the Phantom Thieves, and Akira couldn't deny that he liked exploring Mementos with them, or simply chilling out at the beach. He can't let them down now, not after all they've gone through.
But then there was Akechi.
Akechi was nothing like the rest of the Phantom Thieves. His friendship with Akechi started with nothing more than a simple chat. Unlike all the other friends he's made, hangouts with Akechi were just to have a simple game of either chess or billiards, just to see who can strategize better. Hangouts with Akechi were quiet nights at Jazz Jin, watching Akechi lowkey nerd out at his love for jazz music. Akechi wasn't afraid of giving his honest opinion, even if that opinion was a harsh one. He never asked Akira for help, with his only reason for hanging out with Akira was for the sake of talking to him.
"I won't wait a moment longer!" Akechi said, interrupting his thoughts. "Answer me."
Take the deal? Or stop Maruki once and for all?
His throat felt dry and scratchy. The answer should have been clear—in fact, it was clear, and yet Akira still found himself hesitating.
"Cat got your tongue Joker?" Akechi spat. "For someone who likes to blabber endlessly, you're awfully quiet now."
Except right now, he wasn't Joker. He wasn't the confident Trickster who rebelled against those who wronged him. Right now, he was none other than Akira Kurusu, a second-year student forced to choose whether Goro Akechi, the one person who truly understood him, would live happily in a reality with Akira or die in the real world, where Akira would never see him again.
He wants to be selfish. He wants Akechi to live.
"We—We're taking the offer." Akira said, his voice barely above a whisper.
Akechi's face was one of utter shock and disappointment. "I beg your pardon...?"
"I-" Akira's words caught in his throat, his tongue feeling like a lead weight in his mouth. Dark red eyes glared at him.
"Your indecisiveness is essentially a betrayal of my wishes."
"I misspoke." Akira said finally. "We're stopping Maruki."
"All right. I’m relieved to hear it. I will never accept this form of reality." Akechi said. "I’m done being manipulated. Let’s go back… to our true reality. What’s a life worth in a reality that was cooked up just to satisfy someone else? I say none. We have to win this—no matter what."
As Akechi turned to leave, Akira grabbed his wrist. "Wait! Akechi—"
"I must go now." Akechi said, yanking his arm out of Akira's grip. "No point in wasting any more time."
Akechi left before Akira could say anything else, leaving him to break down into tears in the middle of the café.
It was the middle of the night. Akira still couldn't sleep. Morgana had returned at some point and curled up on the foot of his bed. He didn't seem to notice that Akira was still up.
His mind ran amok with thoughts of Goro, going through all the times they spent together, the times where he would endlessly tease Goro over something, to see the subtle way he blushed. The times where he saw Goro's real smile, if only a little bit. It occurred to him that those might be the last times that will ever happen.
Akira choked out another sob into his pillow.
Maybe, if he had done something different, Goro could still be alive.
I just wanted one more chance...please....
...
The distinct aroma of coffee wafted through the air. Akira looked around. What was he...
He looked down. Right. He was working at Leblanc, brewing a cup of coffee as always.
But for whom?
He looked up to see a handsome young man, about his age, smile at him. He had soft, shoulder-length honey-brown locks of hair, androgynous features, and dark red irises the color of finely aged wine. Akira felt a blush creep onto his face. He was...cute.
A chuckle brought him back to reality. "It would last longer if you took a picture, Akira."
Akira's face burned with shame. Instead of brewing Goro's coffee, he ended up staring at him instead.
"Why would I need a picture—" Akira found himself saying. "if I have the real deal right in front of me?"
Goro laughed, but smiled sadly. "If only that were the case."
Akira looked at him, confused. "What?"
"If only you really did have the living, breathing Goro right in front of you. By tomorrow, he'll be gone for good." He shook his head. "I thought you cared about me, Akira."
Akira frowned. "What are you talking about? Of course I care!"
Goro took a sip of his coffee. Akira didn't remember when he served it to him. "If you truly did care, why didn't you save me Akira?"
"Because...! I couldn't! You were on the other side of the wall and—"
"Pathetic, isn't it?" Goro said mockingly. "You are hailed as humanity's savior, and yet you couldn't save the one you wanted most. Am I that worthless to you?"
"Stop it!" Akira said, starting to tremble. This can't be real. "You're not the real Goro Akechi!"
"You may be right, but I exist because you know you couldn't have the real one. Isn't that what you'll be satisfied with in a few months Akira? An empty cognition of me? A mockery of the Goro Akechi you once knew? Just because you failed to keep the real one alive? You were given the choice! He was right there in front of you! But what? You gave it up! All for "the good of humanity". What did humanity do for you to care so much?"
"You're wrong!" Akira shouted at him. "He wouldn't have wanted this!"
"Really?" Goro looked at him incredulously. "But what about what you want, Akira? Think about it, has anyone ever cared about what you wanted? It's laughable, really. In the end, your stupid messiah complex is what brought you your own despair."
Akira began crying and mumbling to himself. "No, no, no, no..."
Maybe if he closed his eyes long enough, this nightmare would go away.
"Hey, are you alright?" A kind voice asked.
When Akira opened his eyes, he found himself face-to-face with Dr. Maruki.
What? How—
Akira looked around. He wasn't in Leblanc anymore. In fact, the area around him looked more like the Thieves' Den than anything.
"I know, you're probably very confused." He said. "But I sensed great grief coming from you. When I arrived, it seemed like you were having a nightmare, so I used a bit of my power to pull you out of it. It seems that forcing you to make a decision is only making you suffer."
"I—" Akira sniffles. He was still crying. "I just didn't want Akechi to disappear again."
"I've told you time and time again Kurusu-kun, I don't want you to suffer, you deserve happiness, just like everyone else." Maruki said sympathetically. "I completely understand. It's like with me and Rumi. However, unlike me and Rumi, you two can live happily in my reality together. Isn't that what you really want?"
"Is it?" Akira asked. "How sure am I that you aren't just making me want to?"
"I gave everyone a choice whether to accept it or not. Your resistance is proof that your thoughts are your own." Maruki stated. "If you willingly choose my reality, then I don't see a problem."
He must be insane. He can't possibly be considering this. And yet, Akira didn't try to leave.
"But what about Akechi?"
"Ah, so it's Akechi-kun you're concerned about?" Maruki thought for a bit. "From what I've seen, he has his mind set on rejecting this reality. However, if it came from you, it may be possible to convince him otherwise."
Akira's eyes widened. "It's possible?"
Maruki nodded. "I can lend you a fraction of my power. You are a pretty powerful Persona user yourself, Kurusu-kun. If you believe that you can do it, it will become reality. So, what do you say?"
Akira hesitated. If he did this... He'd be trapping everyone else in a reality controlled entirely by Maruki. They would be giving up their free will, but then, they would get to be happy for the rest of their lives; no more pain, no more suffering. Everyone would have the happy ending they deserved.
The real Akechi would hate him forever if he did this.
But if he can control reality itself...
He'd rather have Akechi hate him forever than have him dead.
"It's a deal."