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The fall started slowly, like a snowball at the top of a mountain.
They were filming their new variety show, of which Chanhee still wasn’t exactly sure the concept on. As soon as the camera started rolling, their personas were on. It wasn’t like they were deceiving The Bs but being an idol meant that parts of your personality needed to get exaggerated for the lenses.
He was squished in between Haknyeon and Changmin on a tall stool as Jaehyun explained the next game. In all honestly his brain was anywhere but there, the cold he’d been carrying since yesterday apparently worse than he’d thought. Which gave the rest of them the opening the were waiting for.
“New, are you here?” Jaehyun’s voice was a bit blurry.
“Hyung, if you want, you can leave,” it was Youngjae, somewhere to his left.
He felt a hand on his back and then Changmin opened his mouth. “You can come back next episode if you feel like it.”
He knew all of it, the teasing, the stupid jokes, the annoying touches were all an act he himself took part on most of the times. His bandmates loved him and he loved them. But on days like these, on days were he was already feeling like shit, he couldn’t stand it.
Ignoring the other’s hand, he got up without a word, walking away from the set and towards a manager before his knees gave up on him, using the man’s shoulder as support.
“Chanhee-ah, you’re burning,” his voice was just as fuzzy as the others’ had been before this.
“Can I go back to the dorm to sleep it off for a few hours? I’m sure it’ll be enough to get me back to working conditions.”
On most days, he could’ve told his response without him uttering a single word but his brain wasn’t working at even half of its capacity so the blonde had to wait for spoken confirmation, with the older telling him to sit the entire day off and recover correctly and, if things got worse, he should tell them so he could take him to the hospital.
It’s been a very long time since he’d the dorm to himself and the silence was beyond appreciated. After years of living with other 11 boys, his ability to sleep through the mess had gotten way better but that didn’t mean he didn’t long for absolutely no noise to have a good nap.
His bed felt more comfortable than ever and he felt asleep the second his head hit the pillow, his brain still spinning from the fever. The dreams he was having made no sense but being able to rest was obviously helping, as he could feel the sweat on his sheets and the warmth of his body going down.
“Hyunggg,” it was Youngjae with annoyance and sleepiness on his tone and he groaned, “stop moving so much.”
“Baby,” his voice was hoarse from sleep, "I’m all sweaty.”
“Who cares?”
Of course. Rolling his eyes, Chanhee turned towards his roommate anyways, being met with a kiss half way. No matter how sick he felt, Youngjae’s were always welcomed.
“I’m going to pass you my cold.”
“And what about it?”
He kicked the younger on the shin. “Stop being a brat.”
“Is my job.”
Still way too high on his fever, the older trapped Youngjae’s cheeks between his palms, placing another kiss, a bit longer this time, and felt the latter scoop closer to him.
“Now let me sleep.”
“Whatever you say, Chanhee hyung.”
*
It took the cold another two days of resting (and being babied by the rest of the members) to be entirely gone but now he was back to filming. They decided not to redo the one he’d missed, instead having Sangyeon explain he was sick and leave it at that.
With a clearer mind, Chanhee understood the concept of the show. It wasn’t that different from the usual, the stuff came up with stuff for them to do and they had to do them.
He was paired with Jaehyun for today’s episode and that made him roll his eyes. His hyung was way too competitive and, in all honestly, he didn’t care that much. Still, he knew better than to slack off and make his friend go all angry, sulk Jaehyun was insufferable.
“New, come on!” the older screamed.
The game was simple, they had to jump in one leg and take stuff from point A to B. Apparently he wasn’t trying as hard as he thought because his partner was already showing his usual signs of annoyance.
Sighing, he put all his strength to make it to the end. It wasn’t that bad, he arrived before Haknyeon and even Jacob, but the older’s need to win at everything cause him to be shake around.
“Honestly, you can at least try.”
“I am!” he pouted, making his best offended face.
“We should give Hyunjae’s team some sympathy points,” Sunwoo said, smirking.
Chanhee stuck his tongue out towards the younger. Two weeks ago and now again, what was wrong with him? Why was the usual teasing affecting him so much?
Shaking his head, he convinced himself it was nothing but just a sensitive day and let it go, putting more effort on the game just so they’d shut up.
When they arrived to the dorms, Chanhee and Kevin disappeared into the kitchen to start working on the dinner. The black haired placed a soft kiss on his neck before telling he’d be right back, they needed some more soy souse.
Deciding not to waste any time, he put the rise on the rise maker and started cutting up some vegetable, leaving the onions until his companion was back. As he was on the third carrot, he felt a body against his back, arms hugging his waist and mouth on his hair.
“Hi.”
He chuckled. “Jaehyun hyung, you’re going to make me cut my own fingers.”
The older nodded without a world, snuggling his nose a bit more into the light locks. It felt nice so Chanhee stopped with the chopping, focusing on the action.
“You did great today.”
Jaehyun didn’t exactly turn him around but the pressure on Chanhee’s stomach delivered the message. There was a small 4cm difference between them but the younger loved having to move up to kiss him. And he did, which in turned made Jaehyun press him against the counter.
His kisses were always different, depending on the mood he had. Today he seemed to be on a very loving state, his mouth pressing softly agains the youngers, his tongue slowly making it way over Chanhee’s bottom lip. It was beyond nice.
“You look so good today,” he said as soon as they pull away (not much).
“What’s with you?”
“Why?”
“You’re all soft.”
The older shrugged. “Maybe I just love you a lot.”
Rolling his eyes again, the light haired pressed a kiss on the other’s neck. “Stop distracting me.”
“Not my fault you’re this distracting.”
“On that we have to agree, hyung,” Kevin was back. He placed the bag on the table before walking over to them and placing his head on Chanhee’s shoulder. “But I’m with Hee on this one, I want to eat today, if possible.”
That sealed it and, with a final kiss, Jaehyun was gone, leaving the two of them to cook and chat for a while.
*
The slow fall ended on the fifth episode of the new show.
They were all way too tense, the comeback preparations leaving them with little to not sleep and even less brain to mouth filter. The game they were doing was in group instead of pairs this time and, to Chanhee’s annoyance, he was stuck with Changmin and Sunwoo. Of all the days he had to be with them, had it had to be today? Don’t get him wrong, he loved them but when they were on such a mood, the light haired preferred to stay away once the cameras were on.
To their surprise, they had to find a way to pile objects between two bodies without using their own hands. It would had been easier if he was the one placing the things but because him and Changmin were the same height, Sunwoo had taken that role instead. That, of course, meant the two of them found it easier to blame everything that went wrong on him.
Had it been any other time of the year, the light haired wouldn’t have even blinked at their stupid remarks but he was also being eaten alive by all the practices and his heart wasn’t as strong as usual. So every single word got to him quickly, making his eyes tear up.
Juyeon was close and he knew him way too much; he asked for a break so they could all clear their minds. Chanhee ran to the bathroom before anyone saw him crying over some light teasing.
“Love?”
There was no use lying so he turned towards his best friends, shivering a little by the sobbing. It took Juyeon seconds to engulf him on a bear hug, passing his fingers through his hair. They stayed like that for what seemed like hours but wasn’t more than a moment before the taller pulled away, using the sleeve of his hoodie to dry Chanhee’s tears.
“What’s wrong?”
The younger shrugged.
“Okay but can I do something to help?
Shaking his head, Chanhee hugged him again. “Is stupid, don’t worry.”
Petting his hair for the last time, his best friend nodded. It wasn’t enough but Juyeon was respectful and knew when to stop getting his nose in other’s businesses.
As soon as they got back, Sangyeon shot them a look but Chanhee shook his head like saying everything’s fine before going to get his makeup retouched. They started back from where they’d left off and nor Changmin or Sunwoo said anything like that again, which would have been strange if Chanhee wasn’t aware that they did know their limits.
The filming ended around 11pm and the second his body sat on the van back to the dorms, he was sleeping with his head resting on Jacob’s shoulder.
On days like these, when none of them could even think, there was no way anyone was cooking; they had tried it before and they were lucky the apartment was still standing and that the fire brigade didn’t know their names. Instead, Sangyeon took their orders and called the nearest restaurant.
Once Chanhee was done giving his, he walked to his room with the intention of getting some clothes and claiming the bathroom first but he never could. Sunwoo grabbed his hand and dragged them both to his own empty room, followed closely by Changmin. Their faces were those of guilt and the light haired swallowed.
“I’m sorry hyung, it wasn’t my intention to be an asshole.”
“Yes, I’m also sorry, Hee.”
He shrugged. “Is not exactly your fault? It wasn’t different from our usual dynamics but I guess my metal state isn’t the best to be taking jokes at the moment.”
The shorter nodded before walking a step closer and stopping. It was Chanhee the one that actually initiated the hug, not wanting to make them feel bad. His arms were pretty long and the older felt pretty secure in them. Changmin joined them in a heart beat, making the embrace even warmer.
“I know is our thing, I participate in it as well, but sometimes is bit much.”
He felt Changmin nod instead of seeing it. “I don’t want to make excuses but we’re all so exhausted, I think we lost track of limits.”
“I know. I mean it, is okay.”
Nodding once more, the other kissed his cheek, making him blush a little. Sunwoo had no problem showing his affection in front of others so instead pecked him on the lips, making Chanhee giggle into the kiss.
“You’re idiots, you know that.”
“We do.”
The door opened and Younghoon shot them a look before walking over and joining the hug. “Sangyeon wants us to put on the table,” his voice was muffled with his mouth lost on Changmin’s hair.
Juyeon was the first to eye-ask him if everything was alright and instead of answering, Chanhee went and sat on his lap, leaving the others the task, it didn’t need that many people anyways. Juyeon hugged his waist, placing his palms on his stomach, it was a very him thing to do, and rested his cheek against his back.
They were all idiots but, for some reason, he loved them anyways.