Chapter Text
Rain pelting on the window was the first thing Nicole heard that morning. Well, thought she heard. Was that really the sound that she was hearing over the dull roar of all the cars outside? She would never get used to hearing the same thing every morning. The cars, the horns, the chatter of people passing below her window. This was a far cry from the open air and quiet mornings that she was used to. She didn't want to be here. She had known that since the moment she agreed to come to this city. Chasing the dream. That's what she kept telling herself. At least that was slightly accurate. She came chasing a woman who would never love her back. Not in the way that she wanted to be loved. She knew that before the last box of her things were loaded in the back of her car for the trip here. But she had agreed to come. To try. Things would be better, she just knew it. She kept knowing it for months. Months of nights spent alone. Nights that she knew that the whole reason that she was here was in someone else’s bed.
She had met Shae right after graduating from the police academy, while she was still finishing up with her medical degree. She had told her that her career would “take them places” and that Nicole could “be a cop anywhere”. Her career came first, so Nicole had never gotten to put all that training to use. Instead, she spent her days answering phones and walking in endless laps. She had given up her career and all of her friends in the end. Nicole knew that she could never compete with her ego, and she learned all too quickly that she could not compete with her rage either. They had left the town that she had fallen in love with to come to the big city for Shae’s new job. Everything had just gone downhill from there.
She rolled out of bed and ran her fingers through her hair, ignoring her reflection in the mirror. It had been 6 months. 6 months since she had called Shae on her bullshit. 6 months since the last fight they would ever have. Since she had packed her bags after Shae left for work, crammed it all into her beat up SUV, and taken off. She had left a note on the refrigerator saying goodbye and begging Shae not to contact her. She cleaned out her bank account and changed her number. After a couple hasty calls, she had a place to stay for the night, then managed to find couches to crash on or cheap hotel rooms for the next few months. She had finally moved into this new place a couple weeks ago.
She knew that she did not want to be back where she had been. But she also knew that waking up alone still sucked. After making sure that she had the coffee started, she made her way slowly back to her bedroom and grabbed her phone. The time read as 6:45 AM. That seemed to be about right. She used to be good at sleeping in. Maybe it was age. Maybe it was just the restlessness about the day. As she waited on the coffee to finish brewing, she surveyed the small apartment. Most everything had been left behind when she decided to leave. She was still sleeping on the blow up air mattress that she had bought her first night in the new apartment. It was almost laughable how much her apartment resembled that of a broke college student.
The smell of coffee brought her out of her stupor and she snagged a mug off the drying rack by the sink. After adding a healthy helping of both sugar and cream, she settled herself on the end of the beat up leather couch that she had found at a yard sale and unlocked her phone. She knew that social media was just a distraction at this point, but it helped pass the time while she sipped her coffee. An actual meal would be out of the question. Just coffee for breakfast. Never anything else. 35 minutes and 2 cups of coffee later, she was back stumbling into her bedroom, this time stopping just long enough to toss her phone on her bed and the tshirt she was wearing towards the hamper. If there was no one here to yell at her about picking it up, did it really matter if it went in or not? The boxers she shed in the bathroom while she waited on the shower to heat up. Seeing as she hadn’t left the house in 2 days except for work, it was more about relaxing her muscles and washing the sleep away than anything.
The steam filled up her nose as she pulled the door to the shower open and stepped in. Stepping under the hot water, she closed her eyes and tried to push everything else away. She knew it was useless, but it was worth a shot. On the plus side, she could feel some of the tension leaving her shoulders. A quick wash of her hair and body, and she turned the heat up even higher and let her head rest against the wall of the shower. The steam was getting to an almost choking point and she knew that she needed to get out. She stood for a few more minutes, eyes closed just breathing in and out. One last deep breath and she turned off the shower and stepped into the steamy bathroom. She quickly toweled off and trudged off to her bedroom to throw on a clean pair of boxers before returning to the bathroom.
The steam was starting to slowly fade off the big bathroom mirror and she caught a glimpse of herself. Eyes immediately went to the spidering scar running along her ribs. On the other side, the scars ran up her bicep. She absentmindedly traced her fingers down her ribs. These were the only physical reminders she had left of what she had been through. She remembered the night that she had received those scars. She shivered at the thought of Shae’s breath, hot on her face, as she repeatedly told her that she deserved this. If she wasn’t so pathetic, if she would just fight back, this wouldn’t be happening. She knew that should have been the night she left. But she hadn't; she had stayed and let Shae pretend like nothing happened when the sun came up the next morning. Nothing like having to clean your own blood off the walls.
Lost in thought, she barely registered that there was a knock on her door. She hesitated to answer it. She just moved here and knew no one. Who could possibly be knocking on her door? She grabbed a tshirt and took off out of her bedroom as the knocking started again. She reached for the doorknob as an image of Shae played through her mind. Surely it wasn’t her. She had no reason to be here, and Nicole had been so careful to not let her know where she was moving. She shook her head and checked the peephole first. Outside stood a brunette woman, about her height, with her arms crossed. She watched as the woman picked at her nails impatiently before throwing her hands up in the air. Nichole knew that she could just wait and this woman would probably just walk off, but she didn’t want to be rude. She yanked open the door to see the woman turning to leave.
“Um…..hi?” Nicole mumbled, raising her hand in a wave as she stepped out into the hall.
The woman paused mid-step and slowly turned back towards her.
“Hi….so, you must be the new neighbor? I’m Wynonna. I live a couple doors down.” she stuck out a hand to Nicole, which she quickly shook.
She smiled softly as she dropped Wynonna’s hand.
“I’m Nicole. Nice to meet you. I’m sorry that I haven’t gotten around to meeting anyone yet. I’ve just had a lot on my plate lately.” Nicole let her sentence drop off, not sure how to explain why she had been locked away in her apartment the last 2 weeks. The only time she had left was to go to work and to go get groceries.
Wynonna seemed to waive her off and just shrugged.
“You don’t wanna meet most of these people. There really isn’t anyone worth talking to here except for me. Oh, and my sister sometimes.”
“Sometimes?” Nichole raised her eyebrow and, as if on cue, Wynonna chucked.
“Yea, sometimes. She is annoyingly lovable pretty much all the time and WAY into her research, but I meant she sometimes lives here. When she is not shacked up with that asshat boyfriend of hers.” Wynonna visibly shivered and pretended to gag.
Nicole just nodded and tried not to giggle. She ran her fingers through her still damp hair and shuffled her feet, unsure of how to continue the conversation, but she knew that she had to start coming out of her shell.
“Well its good to know that there is at least a couple people in this building that don’t suck. I’d ask if you wanted to come in, but its not much.” Nicole gestured back towards her still open door.
“Nah, its okay. I gotta go get ready for work anyways. But I tell you what, how about I meet you at Shorty’s at 6 tonight and I’ll buy you a “welcome to the neighborhood” drink?” Nicole surprisingly knew exactly where Wynonna was talking about. She had seen the bar many times on her way to go get groceries.
“I’ll see you there.” Nicole smiled, even though she knew that she would probably end up talking herself out of it by tonight. But she also knew that she had to try to start getting out again.
Wynonna smiled and saluted Nicole as she turned and walked back to her apartment.
Nicole quickly dipped back into her own apartment and made her way back to her bedroom. She knew that she had to be at work soon, but she didn’t really have the energy to get ready. She threw on a button up and and old pair of jeans, before pulling on socks and her boots. A quick trip into the bathroom, where she brushed her teeth and ran a brush quickly through her hair until it looked semi-acceptable. 10 minutes later she was walking out the front door, keys in hand. She took a deep breath as she started up her vehicle. Maybe today would be a good day.