Archive of Our Own

"Don't jump."

"Why?"

Why?

Chuuya racked his brain to think of a way to respond. He needed something to convince the man to not jump off the bridge, and he needed it fast. What excuse can he give to a total stranger?

"Just...don't jump."

"Why," the man asked again, his back was still turned to Chuuya.

"Because," he paused still desperately trying to think of an excuse, "because there are so many things and people to live for!"

"Like who?"

Like who?

"I-I don't know...your family! Or your friends! Or maybe you have a lover back home or maybe you haven't met your soulmate yet so why end things so quickly," Chuuya spluttered out, groaning internally because goddamn he was bad at this. But he was trying his best and he'll be damned if he goes home without making sure the stranger wasn't safe.

The man took a deep breath and looked up. "It's going to rain soon."

What the fuck.

"Is it?"

"I used to hate rain, but now it's the only thing that makes me happy."

Chuuya was pretty sure this man was kind of crazy, but if talking about rain or even his deepest feelings meant that he had more time to think of ways to stop him from jumping then he would stay for hours and just listen.

"Why does it make you happy?"

The man seemed to have smiled because when he spoke, his words carried hints of pure happiness, "Because it reminded me of a happier time when I was with someone I loved."

"Exactly! T-there is something you can live for!"

"You want me...to live for the rain?"

"Yes-well no! I mean you should live for that person. That person you loved. Live for the happy memories you had with them and make more!"

What am I saying? 

The other let out a small laugh and took a step forward, "I don't think they'd remember anything like I do."

Freaking out because he was right on the edge, Chuuya's voice started to get higher and show more clearly how desperate he was getting, "Then find them and remind them! Remind them of the good times you had with them! Remind them of your love!"

"I will."

Chuuya paused, "What...do you mean?"

And then, almost like in slow motion, he watched in horror as the man spun around, held out his arms, and tipped back.

Almost immediately, Chuuya ripped off his heavy coat, not caring how the wind carried his jacket and hat away. With the sounds of his footsteps thundering across the bridge and his heart pounding in his years, he jumped off the bridge too.

His body collided with the other and he felt the wind get knocked out of him just from the force. With what the remaining energy he had left, he flipped their positions around. Chuuya only had one brief look at the man's face and all he thought was, 'He looks familiar,' before his body slammed into the ocean and everything melted into black.

many many years ago — kindergarten

Dazai never liked the rain.

It always got his uniform, bandages, and most importantly, socks wet, and nobody likes going to school with wet socks. So he was more than happy to wake up and arrive at the kindergarten early to escape the rain. 

His dad, Fukuzawa, who was also one of the school's teachers, flicked on the lights and helped put Dazai's coat onto the rack at the front of the classroom.

Dazai waddled across the room towards the cubbies and shoved his backpack inside. "Dad?"

"Yes," he answered as he looked to his son from his position where he was putting away the toys into their organized little shelves.

Dazai held up in one hand a box of his crayons and another a bunch of crumply construction papers, "Could I draw before class?"

Fukuzawa smiled softly at him, walked across the room to the tables, and pulled out Dazai's assigned chair, "Of course, but when the other students start coming, make sure to put it away neatly in your backpack."

The little boy nodded excitedly and ran over to the open chair. And as he drew, he ignored the pitter pattering of the rain on the windows and enjoyed the warmth of the classroom and the occasional compliments and pats on the head from Fukuzawa.

But despite how much he hated the rain, he couldn't deny how lulling the raindrops were, so he found himself drifting off into a little nap on top of his drawing. 

Fukuzawa washed his hands after cleaning up the huge juice spill he found, hidden under one of the tables. He checked the watch on his wrist and turned to his son, "Dazai? It's about time to-"

He smiled at the sight of his sleepy, kind-of-drooling son, and quickly dried his hands. He tiptoed over to the little boy and carefully extracted the tightly held crayons from his hands. He put them back into the box making sure they were still in their perfect rainbow order that Dazai was adamant everybody followed. He slid the papers out from under his cheek and held them up to study them a little.

Dazai didn't like it when Fukuzawa looked at his drawings, claiming that he was trying to make a book and Fukuzawa couldn't see them until he was done, but it was so hard to resist peeking sometimes. He felt his heart warm as he recognized the same two characters Dazai always drew. The character with the messy brown hair was Dazai and the tall man with the grey hair and pink apron was him. There was a big rainbow behind them and they were surrounded by rainbow flowers. At the bottom of the page, he recognized his son's messy handwriting, "I hate the rain."

He chuckled, but before he could take a look at the second page, he heard the pounding and screaming of a bunch of little kids running through the hallway and towards his class. He knew immediately that Hirotsu had finished picking up the rest of the students and Mori, his co-teacher, was welcoming them in and helping them put their umbrellas and coats away.

Fukuzawa quickly ran to Dazai's backpack, where he gently slipped the drawings into Dazai's folder. And right when he zipped up the backpack, the door slammed open and Mori cheerfully called into the classroom, "Good morning Fukuzawa! The kids are here."

"I can tell," his mouth set into a line and he narrowed his eyes at the man who grinned sneakily, "Do tell your kids to not run through the hallways and please have them wipe off their muddy shoes at the front."

"Sure, sure. I'll do it," Mori nodded enthusiastically but Fukuzawa knew he wasn't going to do it. 

Despite his sternness, the sight of his rowdy students all having fun and enjoying their lives made him happy, so there wasn't anything holding him back (except from maybe Mori's knowing face) from pulling up a chair, lining up his students, and carefully cleaning each and every one of them until there wasn't anymore mud on them. 

He was in the middle of listening to Yosano's and Ranpo's retelling of their mini mud fight on their way to school when the door banged open again and a high voice sounded out, "Your hero is here everybody!"

A short little boy stomped into the room with a grin on his face and stood in his favorite power pose: with his fists on his waist and his legs spread out. His uniform was messy and dirty, and Fukuzawa just knew that the boy was hiding stones in his pockets to throw at Dazai later again.

"Chuuya, take your backpack. The preschoolers are coming soon and I have to go take care of them," Chuuya's mother Kouyou yelled after him.

The boy listened and shoved his backpack into his cubicle quickly before running back to the entrance and standing in his pose again.

Fukuzawa shook his head at the boy's antics and called him over, "Chuuya, our little hero, I have a little mission for you."

The boy hurriedly ran to him and saluted him, "Yessir!"

Trying hard to shove down his smile, Fukuzawa saluted him back and whispered, "Could you go wake up our friend Dazai over there?"

Chuuya looked over to where his teacher was pointing, "Why is he napping again?"

The teacher turned his attention back to Ranpo, who was getting angry for being ignored and had climbed onto his lap, and continued to wipe at the mud stain that just wouldn't come off his right cheek, "It's raining and you know he doesn't like it when it rains. Could you please wake him up?"

Clearly a little unhappy that he had to go wake up his "villain" but unwilling to disobey his beloved teacher, he saluted again and marched off to the tables.

Dazai was drooling over his table and some of the drool was starting to get onto Chuuya's desk (Chuuya threw a huge temper tantrum when he found out he had to sit next to him this year). Angrily, he grabbed some of the pebbles in his pocket and started to throw them at the sleeping boy.

"Wake up," he looked around to make sure neither Fukuzawa or Mori was near to hear him, "stupid."

Dazai's eyes shot open and he stared at Chuuya who was starting to sweat a little. The boy sat up and opened to his mouth to tattle when the other quickly slapped a hand over his mouth, muffling his complaints. "Stop tattling on me," Chuuya whined, obviously scared of getting in trouble again for the third time this week.

He felt Dazai smile and then a wet lick to his palm. Chuuya ripped his hand off and holding his hand as if it was burned off, he shrieked, "Eww! Dazai licked my hand!"

"It was just a lick."

"Mr. Mori! Dazai licked my hand again!"

"It was just a lick!"

"He licked me! Again," Chuuya angrily yelled, still holding his hand far away from Dazai.

Dazai stuck out his tongue, "Whiny baby."

"Band-aid man."

"Hat rack."

Chuuya gasped and pointed an accusing finger, "Y-you take that back!"

"No."

"Take it back or else!"

"Or else what," Dazai taunted back, clearly enjoying how angry he was making Chuuya.

"O-or else-or else I'll," Chuuya looked around desperately for anything and his eyes lit up when he saw exactly what he knew would piss Dazai off: his rainbow-ordered crayons that Fukuzawa had forgotten to put away in his rush to hide Dazai's secret drawings from the other students.

Dazai's eyes followed his gaze and gasped in horror as he realized what Chuuya was about to do. He tried to grab his precious crayons before the other could but curse him and his fast reflexes. The orange haired boy snatched up the crayons and triumphantly—and a little evilly—yelled, "Take it back or I'll break all of your crayons!"

Shooting out of his chair, Dazai balled his hands into fists, "Give me my crayons back Chuuya."

"No."

"Give them back!"

"Are you going to cry like a little baby if I break them," Chuuya taunted, clearly happy with the huge advantage he has over his enemy right now.

"Give them back Chuuya or I'll throw away your favorite hat!"

"You don't know where I hide Baki, so don't think you can scare me-"

He watched in horror as Dazai swiftly turned, stepped onto one of the little stepladders and reached onto the top of the cubbies. The student patted around the top before successfully grabbing what he came for: Chuuya's most beloved hat—more like paper crown—that he had won during the annual mini sports games last year.

Dazai held up the flimsy crown with two hands, "Break my crayons and I'll rip Baki."

Chuuya was shaking with anger and fear as he watched his whole life dangling from the hands of his worst enemy. "D-don't you dare Dazai! Don't hurt Baki!"

"Then give me my crayons back."

"No! What if you still hurt Baki after I do," Chuuya cried defensively as he held the crayons tighter.

"I won't."

"I don't believe you."

It was quiet for a second, as Chuuya continued to shake with anger. Suddenly, Dazai ripped the crown and Chuuya lost it.

He screamed and threw the crayons as hard as he could against the floor. With his slightly muddy shoe, he stomped all over them, barely registering Dazai's screams urging him to stop. 

Fukuzawa's strong and warm arms wrapped around his son who nearly hit the other while Mori snatched up a thrashing Chuuya.

The two children continued to scream and cry at each other, while everybody else sat quietly in slight fear of how scary they looked.

Mori's stern voice broke through the cries and efficiently shutting them both up, "Stop this right now." He stared at the two of them and winced a little at the snot and tears all over their faces. "You both are getting a time out, after we wipe your faces."

Fukuzawa nodded, making sure not to make eye contact with his son who was looking at him with the biggest puppy eyes the boy has ever mustered. He knew that he couldn't give an excuse to get his son out of time out like he always secretly did since Dazai did deserve it.

The two boys, sensing their defeat to the teachers, sniffled and accepted their punishment. They were carried to the sinks and in between wipes, they shot glares at each other until Mori noticed and threatened to increase their time out time if they don't stop fighting.

Mori set Chuuya down into one of the time out chairs and when Fukuzawa set down Dazai, he sternly told them both to think about their actions and the apologies they will have to give each other when time out was done. Once he heard the two boys mutter "Yes teacher", Mori nodded, satisfied, and left to console some of the other students who were starting to cry in fear of Dazai's and Chuuya's tantrums.

Before Fukuzawa could leave, he felt Dazai grab his finger. He turned to him, prepared to whisper that he can't help him this time, but was shocked when he saw his son look at him with teary eyes, "I didn't hurt Baki."

"What was that?"

Dazai whispered shakily, "I didn't h-hurt Baki. That wasn't Baki. That was m-mine."

Fukuzawa opened his mouth to say something but when nothing would come out, he hopelessly closed his mouth again.

His son peeked a look at the still furious Chuuya who was glaring at the wall, "D-do you think Chuuya won't want to be my friend anymore?"

Fukuzawa put his hand on his head and gave him a little kiss on the forehead, "Don't worry about it. I'm sure Chuuya still wants to be friends."

Dazai gave him a watery smile before turning to look at the wall too, "Okay. Good."

And when Fukuzawa caught Chuuya apologizing to Dazai with a new and bigger box of crayons the next day after realizing that he hadn't hurt Baki, he decided that he would gladly suffer through another fight between them if it means that Dazai would smile that big and happy afterwards.

"Chuuya~," Dazai called out, from the swings, to his friend who was swinging around his cardboard sword like a pirate, "Could you come push me? I can't reach the ground."

The orange haired boy lifted his eye patch and groaned, "I'm in the middle of fighting a monster!"

Tachihara whined, "I'm not a monster! I'm an octopus!"

Chuuya turned to him and rolled his eyes, "Octopuses have eight arms Tachihara! Do we have eight arms? No! So you're a monster."

The boy thought about it for a second before smiling, "You're so smart Chuuya! We don't have eight arms!"

Dazai tched under his breath, as he glared at Tachihara who gave Chuuya a big hug before letting out a big roar, effectively taking Chuuya's attention away from Dazai and back to him.

He watched the two playfight for a little while longer from the swings before his loneliness started to bother him. He stumbled off the swing and marched up to the two. He grabbed Chuuya's sword, earning an offended "Hey!" from the other, and whacked Tachihara a couple of times. 

"Ow! That hurts! Why are you hitting me?"

"You're a monster duh," Dazai answered, holding the sword really high so Chuuya couldn't reach despite his jumping.

Tachihara frowned and rubbed his arm where Dazai had hit him hard, "I don't like this game anymore. I'm going to go play with Tanizaki." 

Chuuya let out a sound of protest as Tachihara ran off, "Hey! That's not fair!"

Dazai dropped the sword and happily grabbed Chuuya's hand. "C'mon Chuuya! He's going to go play with Tanizaki so this means you can come swing with me!"

The other grunted and picked up his sword, "You hit him Dazai. You better say sorry to him later."

"What if I don't?"

"Then I won't swing with you."

"I'll say sorry to him later."

Chuuya looked at him, "Pinky promise?"

Dazai stared at his pinky for a second and cooed internally at how small and cute it was. He looped their pinkies with his free hand, pressed their thumbs together, and gave it little kiss . "Pinky promise!"

Chuuya blushed and pulled his hand away, "Don't get your cooties on me."

"Let's play," Dazai cheered, and ignoring the other completely, he still grabbed his hand and ran towards the swing set. 

It was that day that he realized how much he liked hearing Chuuya giggle as he swung really high while Dazai gently pushed him from the back.

Christmas was coming soon and Dazai knew exactly what he was going to gift Chuuya.

He swung his legs and colored in the new character's hair with his special orange crayon. He could hear his newly adopted baby bother Atsushi begin to cry in his crib, and watched from the dining table as Fukuzawa dashed into the house from his garden, up the stairs, and into his room. Atsushi's cries almost immediately quieted down when Fukuzawa entered, and Dazai smiled a bit as he listened to him start to giggle instead.

He brought his attention back to his drawing and he smiled even wider. 

The drawing showed his usual brown haired character holding hands with the new character with bright orange hair. They were wearing suits and there was an arch with flowers behind them. In front of them, he had drawn Fukuzawa, Mori, Kouyou, and a couple of their other classmates (he drew Tachihara crying behind a tree and he's very proud of it). Between his character and the new one, he had drawn a big red heart and wrote at the bottom:

"Dazai and Chuuya: Wedding"

(He had forgotten a d at first and it wasn't until Fukuzawa, while feeding Atsushi, peeked over his shoulder and pointed it out did he notice. Dazai was so embarrassed that he messed up that he burst into tears because "if I gave this to Chuuya tomorrow, he wouldn't want to marry me anymore!")

Before Chuuya came into her life, Kouyou loved her Sunday mornings. They were always her special days to relax and just get her mind off of work.

But after Chuuya?

She found herself spending most of her Sunday mornings, chasing after a naked Chuuya around the house and yelling at him to take his bath. He held on tightly to his plastic sword and screamed right back, "No! Pirates don't take baths!"

Kouyou huffed and crossed her arms, "And why is that, Chuuya?"

Chuuya stomped his foot and copied her pose, "It's Captain Chuuya! And pirates don't take baths because we can't fight monsters in there!"

"Well Captain Chuuya, don't pirates have boats?"

Chuuya thought for a second, "Yeah. I think so."

"Do real pirates have boats?"

"Of course they do! You're not a real pirate if you don't have a boat," Chuuya huffed and rolled his eyes.

Kouyou grinned at him, "Then, where's your boat Chuuya dear?"

It was quiet for a couple of beats before Chuuya took off for the bathroom, screaming that he was a "real pirate" and he "needed a bath right now"!

Even though her Sunday mornings were now filled with taking care of her little troublemaker, Kouyou would give up everything to keep making these memories with her little pirate captain Chuuya forever. 

On Monday morning, it was raining again, which immediately soured Dazai's mood.

He had planned to propose to Chuuya at the swing set today but how can he do that when it's raining and they're not allowed to go outside?

Dazai told Fukuzawa so as his dad drove them to the school. Even though they left early again, they couldn't escape the rain and Dazai hated his neon yellow raincoat that his dad had to dig out of his closet. Fukuzawa hummed, "I'm sure you can still find a way to ask Chuuya to marry you in the classroom."

"But it's not lovey dovey enough," Dazai whined, kicking his feet up and pouting.

"Well then why don't you wait until the rain is gone so there's a big rainbow when you ask?"

Dazai went quiet for a moment, thinking it over before smiling. "Okay! I'll wait!"

But the whole day went by, the rain wasn't letting up and Dazai was close to tears at the thought that he'd have to go home without proposing to Chuuya. The latter had been shooting him increasingly worried looks as the day went by, and when Mori rang the bell signaling the end of the school day and Dazai promptly burst into tears, Chuuya couldn't help but immediately wrap his arms around the sobbing boy as best as he could. 

"W-why are you crying Dazai?"

He didn't answer but cried harder onto Chuuya's uniform.

"Uhm...is it because of the rain? I know you don't like rain," he frantically asked.

Dazai's sobbing suddenly stopped and he hiccuped in response. Immediately taking that as an answer, Chuuya shot out of his chair and ran to the window.

"Shoo shoo rain! Go away," Chuuya yelled waving his arms around, hoping the rain would listen to him

He turned to peak at Dazai who was wiping his eyes with his palms and hiccuping a little. Happy that he had succeeded in making his friend stop crying but hoping that he could get him to smile, Chuuya turned back to the window, "Go away rain! You're making my friend cry! You're a meanie!"

And just like that Dazai started crying again.

Shocked, Chuuya stared and felt his own eyes start to water a little, "W-why did you cry again? Did I do something wrong?"

With a yell, Dazai ran out of the room, "Because you called me your friend!"

As the rain started to pour down harder, Chuuya's own tears dripped down his cheeks and fell to the floor. His chest started to hurt a little and he balled his hands into fists. "D-does Dazai not want to be my friend? Is that why he was crying?"

Christmas was almost here but Dazai and Chuuya, the pair that was the most excited for it together, grew distant.

Dazai couldn't bring himself to apologize for crying all over Chuuya and bringing up his marriage proposal just doesn't seem right when the one he wants to marry was ignoring him. Chuuya wouldn't talk or even look at Dazai, and if that didn't break his heart then Chuuya giving Tachihara the first friendship bracelet he ever made did.

Fukuzawa never thought it was possible for a kindergartener to have such crazy love life, but here he was, trying his best to coax his son out from where he was hiding in his blanket with cookies. "Dazai, please come out. I miss you."

"Chuuya doesn't miss me," came the answer.

"I'm sure he misses you. He was—is your best friend."

Dazai threw the blanket off of him and angrily yelled, "Then why won't he talk to me!"

Stunned that the mention of the other could bring Dazai out, Fukuzawa could only stare. Dazai, standing on his bed, huffed as tears welled up in his eyes. "W-why won't Chuuya talk to me," he asked, his voice getting smaller as he continued, "I miss him."

Fukuzawa set the cookies aside and held out his arms, which Dazai gladly fell into. The father and son stood there hugging for awhile; Fukuzawa letting him cry out his frustrations on his shoulder. Soon, Dazai's cries reduced to hiccups, and he rubbed his eyes which Fukuzawa tched at and wiped his face with the pad of his thumb.

"I just want Chuuya to talk to me again," whispered Dazai as he hid his face into Fukuzawa's shoulder again.

"He'll talk to you if you talk to him."

"What if he doesn't?"

Fukuzawa pressed a kiss to his forehead, "Then you keep trying. I know you're not a quitter. Do you know why?"

Dazai giggled and put his hands on Fukuzawa's cheeks, "Because I'm your son!"

"Thats my boy."

Despite his dad's reassuring words, Dazai still struggled to think of something to talk to Chuuya about and when he did, something always interrupted him. Christmas was right around the corner and Dazai knew he had to say something before everybody went on winter break and he wouldn't have any excuse to see Chuuya over break.

So when he noticed Chuuya sitting under a tree during recess (Tachihara was out sick, Chuuya still wasn't talking to Dazai, and he didn't feel like playing Pirates Versus Monsters with anyone else), Dazai ran back into the classroom and to his cubbie. He ripped open his backpack where he had been hiding the paper card he wrote and gift he prepared. Grabbing what he needed, he bolted out of the room, ignoring Fukuzawa's pleas to not run so fast. 

Panting, he hid behind a slide and stared at Chuuya who was twiddling with a flower he had found. He dusted off his uniform and patted his hair in a poor attempt to smooth it down. Dazai took a deep breath before walking up to Chuuya. Thankfully, the other was so entranced with his flower he didn't notice Dazai's approach and take off running.

Dazai did his best impersonation of "clearing his throat" and he smiles at Chuuya.

"What do you want," he glared.

Refusing to let his glare and harsh words break his resolve, Dazai handed him the card. "Read that."

"Why would I-"

"Please?"

Surprised that Dazai actually said the magic word, Chuuya decided to let him have it and took the card.

He unfolded the paper and read it out loud, a word at a time, "Will-You-Nackaharah-hey you spelled my last name wrong-Chuuya-Marry-Me-Dazai-Osamu?"

Dazai gulped and fiddled with his second gift he was hiding behind his back.

Chuuya looked at him, "I thought you didn't want to be my friend."

Furrowing his eyebrows, Dazai responded, "When did I say that? Of course, you're my friend!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Chuuya stood up and angrily glared up at Dazai, "Then why did you tell me that you cried because I called you my friend?"

With a quiet and slightly shaky voice, he told him, "Because we're best friends."

"B-best friends?"

Dazai nodded, "That's why I wanted us to marry so you can't have any other best friend!"

Chuuya stumbled backwards as Dazai stepped forward. "Please say yes Chuuya! I mean, it's okay if you say no, but I think we'd be really happy as best friends forever!"

When Chuuya's back hit the tree, Dazai's puppy eyes were all he could see. 

"I-If we become best friends forever, then," he paused, "you have to promise me something."

"Anything," he excitedly answered, his eyes nearly sparkling at the prospect that he might get his wedding after all.

Chuuya took a deep breath and grabbed Dazai's wrists, "You have to promise me that you won't cry again!"

In a rush of happiness, Dazai hugged him tightly, "I promise!"

"Okay. We can marry."

"I want to marry on Christmas!"

"But it's raining on Christmas! I want New Years!"

"Christmas!"

"New Years!"

Kouyou took a sip of her tea and turned her attention away from the arguing boys to Fukuzawa, who had brought Atsushi along for Dazai's and Chuuya's playdate. "Do you know that they're trying to marry each other?"

Fukuzawa nodded, still gently patting Atsushi who was sleeping soundly in the baby carrier strapped to Fukuzawa's chest. "I do."

"You don't have anything against it?"

"No? Why would I? Chuuya makes Dazai happy and I want my son to always be happy, so why would I say no? Plus, they're still kids. It's just something fun and they'll probably forget about it when they grow up."

Kouyou smiled and sipped her tea. "Wouldn't it be funny if they grew up and ended up really marrying each other?"

"I wouldn't mind that. As long as they're happy together."

"I agree."

Their relaxed conversation continued for another hour before it suddenly dawned on them how quiet the living room had gotten. They looked over towards Chuuya's play area where the boys had been arguing, and soft smiles immediately erupted on their faces. The two boys had gotten tired of fighting and were now sleeping on Chuuya's favorite blankie. 

Kouyou walked over to the window and pulled the shades down. She reached over the little plastic gate and gently ran her fingers through Chuuya's hair. She whispered, "I hope you grow up happy forever, my little Chuuya."

Christmas morning was, as expected, full of rain. 

Even though the rain put a little bit of a damper on Dazai's mood, the fact that Chuuya would be coming over to his house in the afternoon for their wedding made everything better (Dazai ended up agreeing to a Christmas wedding because Chuuya had promised that they would hang out for the entire break). Dazai stared out the window, fully concentrated on the gate outside their house. His mind whirled as his imagination gifted him with a variety of scenarios of how Chuuya will show up. His favorite one is the one where Chuuya arrives in a pumpkin carriage and he was wearing a big, sparkly dress.

Fukuzawa walked into his room, one arm carrying Dazai's outfit for the day and the other carrying Atsushi, who had just woken up from his nap and begged to see his brother. "Dazai. Come here and get dressed. Your classmates are coming soon, and you don't want them to see you in your My Melody and Kuromi pajamas do you? And Atsushi wants to see you."

Dazai jumped off of the little step ladder and ran up to Fukuzawa, his arms reaching up. "Let me hold him! I want him to wait with me for Chuuya!"

"Alright, but you remember how to hold him right?"

Dazai nodded enthusiastically, "I'll be careful! Promise!"

"Okay." Fukuzawa crouched down and carefully handed Atsushi into Dazai's arms. He made sure that Dazai was holding him and supporting him in all the right places before straightening up. Dazai planted a big wet kiss to Atsushi's forehead, causing the baby to erupt into giggles. He took him to the window and stepped up onto the ladder again. He was pointing and whispering at something, which Fukuzawa could only assume to be him telling Atsushi all about his "best friend" who Dazai was going to marry.

He walked to Dazai's bed and laid out his outfit on the end. He was somehow able to find the suit he had tailored for Dazai almost a few months ago that Dazai had adamantly refused to wear and hid it. It consisted of a button down with a navy blue ribbon as a tie, brown shorts, white socks, and brown loafers (Fukuzawa was so surprised when he found out that kids loafers existed). He hopes Dazai would wear the black tuxedo but knowing his fashion icon of a son, he'd just try to wear it around his shoulders the whole time. "Dazai, I thought I told you to get dressed first."

"But I want to hold Atsushi first."

"You can keep holding him after you get dressed. Your classmates are almost here."

Dazai thought about it for a second, glancing between his bed where his outfit was and the window. Deciding that he didn't want anyone to see his pajamas, he very carefully stepped down the ladder and to the bed. He handed Atsushi back to Fukuzawa, who gently put Atsushi on his back on Dazai's bed, and started to change. Fukuzawa made sure Dazai buttoned all of the buttons correctly before he helped tie the ribbon. "What is this," Dazai stuck his tongue out holding the ribbon up.

"It's your tie."

"Why can't I have your tie?"

Fukuzawa's hand unconsciously touched his own tie, "You want mine?"

Dazai nodded and smiled, "I'm a big kid now! I want your tie."

"It'll be too big for you though bub."

"It's okay! I'll look so cool. Please? Can I please have one? It's my wedding," Dazai pouted, hoping his puppy eyes will win Fukuzawa over.

Luckily for him, Fukuzawa was a sucker for cute things so a few minutes later, Dazai was back at the window, all dressed up in his suit with one of Fukuzawa's ties, with Atsushi in his arms again.

Fukuzawa snapped a picture and returned to his room. When the Polaroid printed out, he wrote the date on the front and on the back: 'Dazai and Atsushi Watching the Rain and Waiting For Chuuya'.

The house was slowly getting more and more chaotic as more of Dazai's classmates arrived. Each of them were dressed as formally as possible. Fukuzawa made sure to keep the babies safely in their own separate play room away from the rowdy kindergarteners. He couldn't help but take more pictures when he noticed Atsushi give Ryuunosuke a hug and then let Kyouka play with his new bunny plushie. These were going into his picture albums that he was for sure going to embarrass Atsushi with when he grows up.

Fukuzawa returned to the living room where Mori, Hirotsu, Natsume (the principal of the school), and a couple of his close friends were all sitting and watching over the kids. He sat down next to Mori on the couch and almost immediately, Natsume's calico cat jumped onto his lap, loudly meowing for attention. "Oh! You actually brought him," he said, his heart warming when he heard the cat purr.

Natsume sipped his tea, "Of course I did. It's Dazai's and Chuuya's special day and you love him too. You asked, and I answered."

The doorbell rang and Hirotsu stood up to answer it. "It's a fine day, old sport," came a booming voice from the doorway.

"Ahh, he's here," Mori murmured.

Fitzgerald, who taught the first graders, strode into the room with his own students. Ranpo shot up from where he was secretly snacking in the corner and ran to the door, the candy he had hid in his shirt falling out and onto the floor. "Poe! Poe! You're here!" 

The shy first grader was pulled into a big hug and he flailed around a bit, unsure of what to do, "H-hello R-ranpo."

Holding his hand tightly, Ranpo dragged Poe to his secret corner where he gave a mini presentation of each type of candy he was hiding under his clothes. Poe, who seemed to calm down a lot more now that they were more hidden from everybody, also delved into his own mini presentation of a story idea he had.

The rest of the first graders had an easy time mingling with everybody, especially Mark whose hand puppets Huck and Finn garnered a lot of attention.

Everybody was having a grand old time downstairs while Dazai was still upstairs in his room, waiting and watching for Chuuya's arrival. 

Suddenly, there was a scream from his room and everybody turned to look at the staircase. They heard a thud, and the sounds of footsteps thundering across the landing and down the stairs. "He's here! He's here," a frantic Dazai yelled as he nearly slipped down the rest of the stairs.

He jumped up and down, trying to reach the doorknob. "Dad! Dad! He's here! He's here!"

Fukuzawa quickly strode across the living room and towards the door. He peeked through the keyhole and sure enough, Chuuya was here.

And boy did Kouyou go all out with dressing him. 

Chuuya looked like a little prince in his light grey suit with matching slacks. He had a white button down and vest, and they were tied together with a red ribbon tie. He also had little brown loafers as well. 

Kouyou was shielding them from the rain with her favorite umbrella and goddamn, even she went all out for today. 

Fukuzawa opened the door and Dazai peeked out from behind him. "Chuuya!"

Chuuya waved back, "Dazai!". He was about to take off running and close the distance but Kouyou was quick to stop him, "Chuuya, you don't want to get married in a wet suit do you?"

"Oops," Chuuya smiled shyly at her, before turning his attention back to walking as regally as possible. Despite the "cool" face he was pulling, no one could deny the sparkle in his eyes as he looked at Dazai, who waited excitedly for him with open arms.

The second Chuuya stepped onto the welcome mat, Dazai engulfed him with a big hug. "Chuuya! You're here!"

"Duh. I'm right in front of you," he rolled his eyes, but still hugged him back just as tight.

Dazai broke the hug and grabbed his hand. "C'mon! I want to show you something special!"

The two ran up the stairs, as Fukuzawa let Kouyou in. She hung up her coat, waved hello to the other adults (Fitzgerald waved from the kitchen with a biscuit in his mouth), and turned to Fukuzawa. "Where's the little baby Atsushi?"

"Ahh over here," he answered, leading her towards the babies' playroom. They fell into easy conversation, and upstairs, Dazai had made Chuuya sit on his bed with his hands over his eyes.

"Don't open your eyes," he warned as he rummaged through his desk's drawers, desperately looking for the wedding drawing he drew last week..

"I won't!"

"Here it is," he whispered as he finally found what he was looking for.

He turned to Chuuya and held the paper up in front of him. "You can open your eyes now Chuuya!"

Chuuya peaked through his fingers before gasping and slipping off the bed. "That's so cool!"

From behind the drawing, Dazai beamed and gave it to Chuuya, "Do you like it?"

"I do," Chuuya exclaimed, his sparkly eyes analyzing every little detail. He suddenly frowned and pointed, "Why did you draw Tachihara crying?"

Dazai leaned over and looked at where he was pointing, "Oh!"

He blushed and shyly grabbed Chuuya's hand, "Because only I can be your best friend forever!"

Flustered, Chuuya pulled his hand away and looked at the drawing again, "I'm going to ask momma if I can put this in my room."

He walked towards the doorway before pausing and looking back at Dazai, who seemed to be waiting for something. Chuuya blushed and held out his hand, "C'mon, let's go."

With a small gasp and a giggle, Dazai interlaced their fingers and smiled, "Let's!"

When Fukuzawa finally remembered that he had to get the "ceremony" started and not spend the rest of the day cooing at Atsushi, he quickly gathered everybody up in the living room. He peaked out the window and was surprised to see that the rain had actually stopped and everything was bright and clear. There was even a double rainbow!  

He quickly slid open the doors leading to his garden and with a smile, he invited everyone outside. The adults all helped to grab chairs and tables. Kouyou even found a way to bring all of the babies outside. Although it took him a while, Hirotsu was finally able to get Dazai and Chuuya to separate for a bit and go get "ready" for their wedding in separate rooms. Dazai was in his, and Chuuya was in Atsushi's room (he protested it for a bit but seeing the ginormous tiger plushie in one corner he was quick to shut up). Fukuzawa helped Dazai straighten his clothes, put the blazer on his shoulders just like how Dazai likes it, and adjust his tie. Dazai suddenly put a little hand over his, "I don't want the tie dad."

"Oh? But you wanted it this morning. Did something change your mind," Fukuzawa smirked, knowing that Dazai had seen Chuuya arrive with a red ribbon tie and much like him, his son was a sucker for romantic and cute things. 

Seemingly knowing that his dad knew why he suddenly wanted to change, Dazai shuffled his feet and blushed, "I just don't want it! I like changing my mind!"

"Okay," Fukuzawa chuckled, getting up and grabbing the ribbon from Dazai's dresser. He switched the two quickly and sitting on the edge of Dazai's bed with Dazai in between his legs and his back to his chest, he went to work on combing his hair.

"How are you feeling bub?"

Dazai put a hand on Fukuzawa's knee, scratching softly at nothing. He was quiet for awhile before he answered in a soft voice, "Excited."

"Why is that?"

"Because Chuuya will be my best friend forever and I'm his best friend forever."

Across the hallway in Atsushi's room, Chuuya was sitting in a chair staring at himself in the body length mirror as Kouyou fixed his hair as well. She put her hands on his shoulders and leaned down so her face was next to his. "Are you excited Chuuya?"

Chuuya huffed and looked down, swinging his legs, "No."

"Why not? You were so excited last night."

Her son looked up and she was surprised to see his eyes were watery, "What if Dazai doesn't want to be my best friend forever someday?"

Kouyou stayed quiet, stunned at how her son was experiencing feelings that many adults feel at such a young age. She kissed his cheek and whispered, "I don't think Dazai would ever want to lose you."

"Really," he asked, rubbing his eyes.

In one swift move, she lifted him out of the chair and into her arms, where he instinctively wrapped his arms around her neck and hid his face. "Really."

'And if he ever hurts you, I'll hurt him even more,' she thought.

Chuuya sniffed and then looked at her. He gave her a kiss on the nose and beamed, "I'm ready!"

"Then what are we waiting for? Let's get married," she cheered, putting her son down and letting him drag her out the room and down the stairs.

Dazai fidgeted nervously at the "altar", trying his best to not drop the crown made of red crushed velvet in his hands.

A million thoughts whirled around his head.

What if Chuuya doesn't want to marry?

What if he doesn't want to be best friends forever?

The worst one: What if he leaves me and marries Tachihara?

At that thought, Dazai whipped his head around to glare at Tachihara who was munching on a cookie. The second he noticed Dazai's glare, he broke into tears and dropped his cookie (Gin, who was on one side of Mori's lap, reached over to pat his knee and babbled).

Satisfied that he had made his "rival" cry, Dazai turned his attention back to staring at the glass doors where Chuuya would appear any minute now. Fukuzawa suddenly called his name, and when Dazai turned to look at him, a bright flash momentarily blinded him. 

"Dad! Don't take pictures," he whined, stomping his feet.

Fukuzawa smiled, "Sorry son. I can't help it. You're just-," he paused and—did he just sniffle?—"growing up so fast."

Mori sighed and put a hand on his shoulder, "Save the tears for when they get married for real."

"Oh god, I forgot about that," Fukuzawa muttered, hiding his head in his hands.

Before Dazai could go and console his dad for reasons he's still a little unsure of, sounds of his classmates 'woah-ing' caught his attention. He looked over, and there he was. His best friend in the whole wide world.

Chuuya was wearing the same outfit he arrived in but this time he had a little cape. In his hands, he was holding a nearly identical crown as Dazai except it was blue. He walked down the aisles as Kouyou threw up flower petals behind him, and tried as hard as he could to not blush in front of all of his friends and classmates. He heard the snap of a camera somewhere in the front row and immediately failed, a bright and rosy red blush painting his cheeks.

"Ooh~Chuuya's blushing," his classmates cheered in unison.

Chuuya weakly snapped back, "No I'm not!"

But everybody could see him blush deeper.

Hirotsu cleared his throat and in the toy mic, he began speaking, his voice silencing the rowdy crowd, "Ladies, gentlemen, and fellow pirates and princesses, welcome to Dazai Osamu's and Nakahara Chuuya's BFF wedding."

Everybody cheered, someone in the crowd (probably Yosano) shouted, "I want to be a doctor!"

"Today we are here to witness Dazai and Chuuya seal their BFF titles with these blue and red matching crowns."

The two boys excitedly held up their crowns, causing cheers to erupt from the crowd again. Hirotsu continued with his mini speech and when he finished, it was time for Chuuya and Dazai to share their "vows".

Dazai went first, scrambling to unfold his paper. In a loud and clear voice, he read, "Dear Chuuya. You are really short. But! Don't be sad, because I am tall and I can protect you from monsters and Tachihara. I hope that we can be best friends forever and that you will not be best friends forever with anyone else or Tachihara. I don't really know what this means but papa tells me this all the time so," he looked up and smiled at Chuuya, "I love you!"

All of their classmates immediately started to yell "Ew!" while Fukuzawa wiped a tear away.

Chuuya rolled his eyes but smiled shyly back. He unfolded his own paper and began to read—a little slower than Dazai since he hated reading but he was trying his best so don't make fun of him it's his special day—"To Dazai. I know you're going to say I'm short. But I am still growing! When I'm taller than you, you will cry and I will laugh at you, but I will keep you safe from monsters too. Because we are best friends forever and best friends forever protect each other. You are my prince and I am your king, so I'm better than you. Thank you."

Everybody cheered and Dazai stomped his foot, "Why can't I be a king?"

"Because you don't have your crown yet duh."

"You don't have one either!"

"I have Baki."

"Oh true."

Hirotsu cut into their conversation, "Kunikida, could you bring the rings?"

Kunikida, excited to get to do his very important job, yelled, "Yes sir!". He brought the little purple pillow with the red and blue Ring pops on it to Hirotsu, who rewarded him with a pat on the head and a gold sticker (Kunikida showed off his sticker for the rest of the day). He unwrapped the two Ring pops and handed the blue one to Chuuya and the red one to Dazai. "Hold it carefully," he whispered to them before he continued, "The best friends forever will now exchange rings."

Dazai stepped forward and gently grabbed Chuuya's free hand. He slipped the red candy onto his ring finger, and Chuuya did the same for him. When they both had their respective rings, they happily held hands and brought their conjoined fingers up into the air to show their rings to everybody. Hirotsu announced, "Let's clap for our now married best friends forever!"

As their classmates jumped out of their seats and screamed in happiness, Fukuzawa was quick to take pictures, perfectly capturing one of the most precious moments of their lives. That night after he tucked Dazai in and kissed him goodnight, he walked back to his room and sat down at his desk. Spread out across his desk were all the pictures he had taken from the day.

There was the picture of Dazai and Atsushi at the window and waiting for Chuuya's arrival. There was the picture of Dazai fidgeting at the altar. There was the picture of Chuuya walking down. And finally there was the picture of the two boys proudly holding hands and showing their rings.

Fukuzawa smiled and carefully slipped each Polaroid into its own sleeve in one of his many, many photo albums. This album was what he believed to be the most special album, because it was slowly being filled up with Dazai's and Chuuya's many little moments. From when they first met, to their first fight, to their first reconciliation, and then to their wedding, Fukuzawa had taken great care to capture as many of Dazai's happiest memories with Chuuya as possible. Even though half of the book was still empty, he closed his eyes and made a little wish that someday, he can see it filled.

present time — yokohama hospital

Chuuya slowly opened his eyes. His mind felt hazy and heavy at the same time, a little bit like when he woke up the next day after he drank his favorite local bar dry on the night of their first time having Happy Hour. The bar never had Happy Hour after that. His eyelids felt like they were stuck, limiting his already slightly blurred vision to just windows between his eyelashes. There was an ache in his body somewhere that his mind just could not determine the location of, and the sound of monotonous beeping filled his hearing.

The door creaked open and his eyes slowly rolled over to look. There were three people but Chuuya could only hear two of their voices, one of which he recognized. Somewhere in the back of his head he thought, 'Mom?'

The nurse was speaking quietly to who he assumed to be his mother, Kouyou, while gently holding onto the other person. He watched with bleary eyes as Kouyou nodded and thanked the nurse, who left after making sure Kouyou was supporting the third person. He could hear her quietly fuss over the other and then a soft and reassuring chuckle which quickly turned into a cough.

Suddenly the other person spoke, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for any of this to happen."

'It's a he. He sounds familiar.'

Kouyou shushed the man and hugged him, careful to keep the hug loose enough to not aggravate his wounds but tight enough to let him know she forgives him. "Don't be sorry love. My Chuuya's always had a golden heart. He would've done the same for anyone. But thank goodness, he saved you."

"But he's hurt because of me too."

Kouyou smoothed out the person's bangs, "And with you, he'll heal. Like always."

'Like always? Do I know this person?'

The other let out a dry chuckle, "Remember when Chuuya and I were competing in Junior Olympics in fifth grade, crashed into each other, and both broke a bone?"

Kouyou laughed and sat down in the chair next to the stranger, "I do. Chuuya would complain to me everyday about how he was about to win until you cheated and ran into him. But he still very happily used his broken arm to be lazy."

"Ahh! He said I cheated?! He was the one who cheated though!"

"Did he now," Kouyou shot him a knowing look.

"Okay," the other shyly confessed, "Maybe we both cheated."

'What are they talking about?'

It was quiet in the room before Kouyou stood up and whispered, "I'll leave you with him to talk for a bit. Call me when you're ready to go love."

The stranger nodded, muttered his thanks, turned to Chuuya, and gently covered his hand with his own. He stared down at the floor, while his thumb unconsciously started to rub his hand. "I'm sorry Chuuya. I'm sorry you had to meet me. I always hurt you, and when I left, I thought I could finally stop hurting the people I love, but here we are. I failed to protect you again. Funny how I keep breaking our vows and yet you never did, except for maybe the height." 

The person chuckled and flipped Chuuya's hand over so he could interlace their fingers. "Please wake up soon. Wake up so I can tell you how sorry I am for everything. For leaving you. For hurting you. For not protecting you. Wake up so I can tell you how much I still love you."

'Who are you? Why are you sorry? You love me?'

"I missed you so much Chuuya. I couldn't forget you even when I wasn't anywhere near you. How could I? You were and will always be my best friend forever, and even though I wish we could've been something more, I knew you had bigger dreams than just living a small, happy life with me in our little neighborhood. I knew you wouldn't be truly happy with me in the long run. Why would you? I'm a total idiot. A shitty mackerel if you will."

'Mackerel?'

'Mackerel...'

Chuuya's hand twitched a little. He croaked out, "Dazai?"

"Chuuya? You're awake?"

As Chuuya's vision slowly cleared up with his tears, he felt his heart burn and soar at the thought that Dazai—his Dazai—was finally back.

"Dazai," he whispered, as he finally stared at the face of the man he loved and missed so much, "You're home."

With the sun setting behind Dazai and painting the twilight sky rose gold, Dazai brought Chuuya's hand to his cheek and whispered with sparkling tears streaming down his face, "I'm home."

two years later — fukuzawa's garden

"Dear Chuuya, despite all of these years and all of these promises, you're still shorter than me, which believe me, makes me incredibly joyful. Because not only can I poke fun at how tiny you are everyday, but I can continue to try and fulfill my promise to protect you. I know you threatened me last night to never apologize during our vows but I can't help it. I'm truly sorry for leaving and hurting you so many times, but I hope that with this ring and my heart and life fully in your hands, you know that I'm here to stay by your side for as long as we live, which hopefully won't be that long since I also hope you're still considering my wondrous offer of a double suicide. I'm kidding! Don't hit me! You have brought so much joy and adventure into my life, and I know, for sure, that I cannot be anywhere happy where you are not. I promised you when we were younger that I'd protect you from monsters and Tachihara—yeah, I'm still watching you Tachihara, don't think you escaped—and I want to make that same promise here today...at our real wedding. I, Dazai Osamu, as your best friend forever, partner in crime, hopefully-double-suicide-partner, and soon-to-be-husband, promise to always care and protect you. And as my father always told me, I love you."

"To Dazai, this is our second time getting married and honestly, I think my vows were pretty good on the first run, so I'll stop it short here. Yeah, laugh it up. I can make short jokes too. Thank you Atsushi for the thumbs up. But, if I'm being honest, no one here is better at poking fun of my height then this idiot. And if I know this idiot, I know that he'll do exactly that and go against everything I wished him to not do at our wedding, including apologizing. So here is the only apology you ever deserved: I'm sorry for blaming you when Kouyou caught us sneaking wine out of the house. I guess I'll also apologize for all of the drunk me's you'll have to deal with once we've finally settled into the married life and have to do our taxes. Jokes aside, you were the first person to have taught me what it's like to learn and love my imperfections. You helped me understand myself and what I want in life, and even though for a long time, I still drifted, clueless as to what I wanted and needed, I can confidently say, as I stand in front of you, that what I want the most is to be with you. I was your best friend forever first, your soon-to-be-husband second, and hopefully your will to live forever. But let's not forget what our true statuses are: you are a prince and I am your king. And from one royal to another, thank you for being always trying your best to protect me even when you weren't sure what to do yourself. Thank you for holding my hand and guiding me to the light when all I wanted to do was wallow in the darkness like Akutagawa. Thank you for holding my hair back when I had a drink too many when we were younger. Thank you for taking care of me. Thank you for loving me. I, Nakahara Chuuya, promise that through all of my lifetimes, I will always find you, protect you, care for you, and love you just like you always did for me. I love you so much you big idiot."

When the two finally kissed and sealed their marriage, Fukuzawa brought the camera up to his eye, took a picture and cheered along with all of their old and new friends.

'The last one. The book is filled. '