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Twilight Town was unlike any other worlds Lea had ever visited, much less lived on. It was warmer than the many labs and bases that Organization XIII ran out of, for starters. And, unlike Radiant Garden, the sun never set, though it did revolve around the town, depending on the time of day (it remained at the same height above the horizon, however; always sunset, just in a different direction).
It was also exponentially bigger than the worlds he had lived on in the past. When he was Axel, he seemed to recall the city being quiet and peaceful (though, looking back that was likely the organization’s fault, and it would be more accurately described by its locals as sad and ghostly), but since the organization was disbanded for good, it had come to life from all sides. Businesses had picked back up, locals returned to the city from whatever misfortune had befallen them, schools had begun classes, etc.
It was now quite far from the same town that Lea remembered from being Axel, actually, and yet he wouldn’t live anywhere else if given the chance. Though true that he may have chosen a permanent place of residence thanks to the memories his nobody had made for him, Twilight Town was his home now.
His and his family’s home, that is.
Xion proudly walked ahead of her brother and legal guardian-not-yet-technically-father. It took both of her short arms to carry the large paper bag of groceries, so, to keep her ice cream from melting before they got home, she carried it between her teeth. Occasionally she’d mumble about it hurting and shift the bag to take it out, so Lea couldn’t imagine this method was very sustainable.
Roxas, meanwhile, had thought to bring his skateboard on the shopping trip, and had his bag balanced precariously on one end of it while he stood on the other and held his ice cream.
Lea had finished his own just minutes ago and was nibbling at the stick, people watching whenever they passed a crowded space and following behind his kids at a leisurely pace.
He forced himself not to let his brain down another rabbit hole about his kids. Blah blah responsibility and loving them more than he thought was possible. They had a house now and groceries, and in a few days Roxas and Xion would start school and get the real childhoods they almost lost forever. He didn’t want to stop and have another mental crisis about it being real again.
They needed to get the groceries home, he’d have time to crisis later, when everyone else was asleep.
Despite the consistent daylight, Twilight Town did keep a daily schedule. Businesses closed at 9 and people went to sleep until the clock tower announced morning. Lea had been nagging Roxas and Xion to sleep before 10 so they wouldn’t be too miserable when school started.
That was what good parents did, right? No, crisis later. Groceries now.
Curious as to how long they had left to make dinner, Lea squinted up at said clock tower as they made their way through the main plaza. 6:23, still plenty early to make dinner, not that Lea was particularly adept at cooking. Plenty of time to try and cook and still get takeout in case homemade was inedible.
He turned to keep up with his kids, then did a double take up at the tower again.
“Lea?” Roxas paused after noticing they weren’t still being followed and rolled backwards.
“What’s wrong, did you see something?” Xion tried to look around her bag at whatever had halted Lea.
“Nah. Roxas, can you carry my bag home if I go grab us a pizza?” Lea tore his eyes away from the clock tower, lying easily enough (another old thing that felt a lot less fun and guiltless than it used to). “It’s just a few blocks out of the way, I can meet you both back at the house.”
“Make it two pizzas, and you’ve got a deal.” Roxas chomped off the last of his ice cream and held out an arm for the extra bag.
Lea walked backwards long enough to make sure they had rounded the corner before making his way straight to the clocktower.
Isa was still sitting with his legs dangling off the edge of the roof when Lea reached the top. He turned around slowly when he approached, but didn’t quite manage to avoid looking surprised, before raising a teasing eyebrow.
“Did you run up here?”
Lea clicked his tongue and folded his arms before lying again. “No.”
Isa squinted, then smiled and turned back to watching the plaza below without calling him out. Lea hovered over his shoulder for another moment before taking a seat on the empty roof to his left.
“How long have you been waiting up here?”
“An hour or so. Not long.” Isa didn’t look at him while he spoke, eyes focused on the evening rush between restaurants and the kids squeezing in last minute games before their parents picked them up. Even as the evening crept to an end, the city was still lively.
“Geez, you should’ve called me or something. I know Ienzo hands out phones like candy these days. It’s been almost two weeks, I was getting worried.”
“You’ll admit you were worried but not that you ran to see me?” Isa glanced at him through the corner of his eye.
“I said I was getting worried, not that I was . Ass.” Lea really tried to stay annoyed, but he hadn’t exactly heard Isa laugh in literal years and it kind of surprised him to do so. He forced down the desire to blurt out how nice it sounded. His smile, too, was as familiar as it was different. The way his lips stretched over his teeth and the piercings was new, but it still felt right. “Seriously though, why didn’t you call? Ienzo has my number.”
Isa stopped smiling and turned his attention back to the people on the ground. He picked at the corner of his thumb (another fidget he hadn’t done in years and something else that smacked Lea in the face with how suddenly Isa he was) for a moment before answering.
“I was nervous.” His voice was quiet and flat, but somehow nothing like Saix’s. He didn’t sound withdrawn or cruel, he sounded vulnerable. Awkward, almost.
If Lea hadn’t known him before he almost wouldn’t recognize him.
“Ah.” Lea searched for a more intelligent response. “Y’know I might not have even seen you. You could’ve been waiting here all night.”
“That’s fine. I knew you’d show up eventually.” Despite the vague familiarity, his tone didn’t sit quite right with Lea.
“Guess I can’t argue with you there. This is my favorite spot. Close ice cream, good view.”
“It is the most dramatic place to brood.”
“So what were you doing while you waited an hour, then?”
Isa didn’t catch that it was a rhetorical question and frowned, considering his answer.
“I was… feeling being whole and like myself again. It’s still unfamiliar, but this world is both lively and peaceful, that I can relax further without letting my thoughts get too loud.”
Lea tapped his chin, attempting to tease him again. “So in what way was none of that brooding?”
Isa shoved him, smiling again. “Ass.”
They fell into a comfortable silence for a few minutes, something they hadn’t done since they were kids. Lea checked the time on his phone to make sure he still had half an hour before Roxas and Xion started whining for their promised pizza. He could probably stretch it if he told them their favorite place was busy. He sent them both a text, to which Roxas immediately replied negotiating for breadsticks as well, since it’d take longer.
Lea compromised with garlic knots and put his phone away, rolling his eyes affectionately. Looking up again, he caught Isa staring.
He didn’t pretend he wasn’t caught, but still looked away. “Do you need to go soon?”
“Nah, I got at least an hour before they’ll care.”
“Alright.”
The silence returned but much less comfortable. There was a lot they were both waiting to say or just avoiding entirely. Their past was so messy it was overwhelming trying to decide where to start talking about it. Isa clearly had something on his mind but didn’t seem to have the courage to bring it up. Lea could probably guess what it was, but wasn’t quite prepared to get it wrong yet. He caught Isa’s eyes twice again before deciding he had had exactly enough dancing around this conversation.
“I missed you.” Lea kept his own eyes forward but could still make out Isa’s head snapping up to stare at him again in his peripheral.
“It’s only been two weeks.”
“I mean… I’ve missed you. In general. Since before, since I left the organization… hell, since we joined the organization, I’ve just… really missed you , Isa.” It was a treat to see Isa so expressive, Lea thought. He looked like Lea had just told him Organization XIII’s plan had worked after all and the world was ending tomorrow. His eyes going wide and his face slack with shock was a stark contrast to the stony irritation Saix had worn for years.
When Lea went to put his hand over Isa’s, however, it was balled into a tight fist.
“Why? I don’t… I don’t understand.”
“What?”
“After everything I did, how do you just-just… forget it?” Isa clenched his teeth and his hand shook beneath Lea’s. “After everyone I hurt- including you and Roxas and Xion- How can you act like it didn’t happen? I don’t understand.”
“I did messed up stuff, too, Isa. Organization XIII was literally a cult of messing up worlds. But it’s gone now. Xehanort’s dead.”
Isa shook his head, refusing to meet Lea’s eyes. “That doesn’t excuse my actions. I chose to climb the ranks, I chose to become a vessel. I chose to treat the people under my command like trash.” his voice was quiet, still not deadpanned like Saix’s, but aching and ashamed.
“Did you forget who did all the dirty work there? I understand-”
“No you- I made you get dirty. I was the one in control.”
“We were all manipulated by Xemnas, Isa.” Lea squeezed his hand, “Nobody knew he was lying and just using us.”
Isa grit his teeth. “I knew. Only a fool got to the top and didn’t see what they were doing. I knew it was a stupid goal, I knew we were destroying worlds.” he spat, disgusted at himself or Xehanort. Probably both.
“But you didn’t.”
“We still tried to-”
“But you failed.” Lea spoke over him. “You lost. And everyone left in the organization either switched sides or died. Punishment over. You’re forgiven.”
“I don’t deserve your forgiveness.”
“Yeah, too bad. You’ve got it anyway. Next time don’t take two weeks to find me and I won’t have had as much time to think about it.”
“But I-”
“Listen, I get it, Isa! I do! You think I knew how to handle people being nice to me after I defected? After all the nasty jobs I took? Yeah- I know you gave me the jobs but I still did them. I know how you feel, I’ve been there. It’s ok to feel like you don’t deserve to be forgiven.” the hand under his loosened. “You can feel bad for it for as long as you want, but you can’t change that I forgive you. That’s not your decision.”
Isa stared down at Lea’s hand, before turning his to hold it properly. “I hurt you, Lea. I took advantage of your loyalty and devotion, I lashed out and pushed you away.” He kept his eyes glued to their hands as he spoke.
“It’s hard to feel right when somebody stole your heart and convinced you you needed it to be happy. I don’t blame you for how we split.” Lea instinctually ran his thumb over the back of Isa’s, trying to comfort him however he could with the bare minimum of affection.
“You should.”
“We both decided to join a smelly goth cult. Some people just aren’t cool enough to handle it.”
Isa snorted before covering his face with his other hand to muffle his laughter. Lea elected to comment on it this time. “That’s twice now, you’ve laughed more than I think you have in the last decade.”
“A perceived full range of emotions being once again accessible will do that.”
“Ha! Yeah, I guess so.”
Isa shook his head as the last of his amusement subsided and returned to staring at their hands like it wasn’t real. It probably didn’t yet feel real again. Lea understood. He still vaguely remembered reuniting with his own heart and how much more of the world there seemed to suddenly exist. Brighter colors, warmer sunlight, sweeter ice cream... It wasn’t that he hadn’t felt things as a nobody (far from it, considering how quickly he picked up Roxas and Xion and took them under his wings), but having his heart back made every sensation easier to find and easier hold onto, and, most importantly, easier to name again.
There were, of course, plenty of negatives to outweigh the positives. Lea mourned Roxas and hated the organization a lot harder with his heart back.
Finding both him and Xion again made it worth every ounce of pain. He’d do it all again in a (pun excused) heartbeat.
Seeing Isa waiting alone on the clock tower’s roof wouldn’t have felt the same without his heart either.
“I missed you too.” Isa almost whispered, snapping Lea back out of his thoughts.
“Yeah? Thought you weren’t gonna admit it.”
He squeezed his hand. “You deserve it from me to at least try.”
“Don’t strain yourself.” Lea grinned. “Speaking how you feel was never something you excelled at, even before… ah… even when we were young.” he stumbled over his words, not having noticed when they started leaning against each other. Isa was much closer, their arms pressed together and his torso turned to listen with his full attention. Lea swallowed. “I’m pretty good at figuring you out so don’t… don’t worry about it unless I... get it wrong.” Isa’s eyes looked bigger now that they had returned to their natural brown, an infinitely more appealing color than the washed out silver-gold. The brown was dark and warm. Isa’s eyes and nobody else.
On the subject of figuring out Isa’s thoughts, he hadn’t met Lea’s eyes since he finished speaking, instead staring pointedly at his mouth. Lea waited. He didn’t want to assume (despite his confidence from seconds ago) things could just… fix themselves. They had a lot to work out, a lot to talk about and a lot to apologize for. Their relationship was messed up in a lot of ways for a lot of reasons.
But Lea hadn’t run full speed up the stairs of the Clocktower just to say hi.
They’d have time to talk later, because now they had a later to look forward to. They finally had the tools at their disposal to try and fix… whatever they were.
They had time to talk, and Lea had time to wait.
Isa’s mouth opened and shut twice before he managed to find his voice.
“Lea?”
“Mm?”
“May I kiss you?” Turned out Lea didn’t need to guess. Isa had asked and Isa was waiting for an answer. Saix had rarely asked, and if he had, rarely waited for an answer. Neither had Axel. Saix had always taken what he wanted with little consideration for what he and Axel were convinced wasn’t real. Their feelings weren’t real so there was no point in waiting or thinking about them. Saix had pushed him against doors and walls and treated physical affection like a commodity, like something unworthy of his interest beyond temporary satisfaction. Saix had never asked because nobody else was allowed to make decisions. That was his job, and that was how he treated the world and Axel was fine with it because he didn’t feel enough to want more, didn’t feel enough to miss what they used to be.
But Isa had asked, not because he didn’t want to, but because he felt like he didn’t deserve Lea’s feelings. He had asked because Lea deserved every opportunity to take them back and run far away. Lea deserved to find someone who hadn’t hurt both him and his family beyond forgiveness. He had asked because Lea deserved to make the decision for them both where they went from here. He had no right to want it, but he asked anyway.
Lea barely managed to nod before leaning in the last inch.
He meant for it to be soft and quick. Then Isa tilted his head further and all bets were off.
He really should’ve been more prepared for it, having had his heart back longer. If Isa asking him had made his chest warm with affection he got to believe was real, it was cold compared to kissing him.
Kissing him burned like fire.
Kissing him with his heart back burned like setting his entire body ablaze with one person that he couldn’t hold close enough. Couldn’t kiss hard enough.
Isa probably meant for it to be short, but god, Lea really missed him. He missed the long hair that draped down his back usually, and tangled easily around Lea’s fingers without matting so he could grab it tight. He missed Isa’s broad shoulders and solid chest that he could touch freely before pulling him in by his jacket. He missed his rough calloused hands wrapping around the back of Lea’s neck and waist to hold him closer, the same hands that wielded a sword weighing twice his weight with ease, grace, and deadly accuracy but simply clung to Lea like he’d drown if he let go.
Kissing Saix was nothing like this. God, Lea would’ve gone back and kicked his ass months ago if he had known this was what he was missing.
Lea only pulled away to catch his breath (when did he stop breathing? Why did he have to stop kissing him again?) and neither of them moved beyond Isa pressing his forehead against Lea’s.
He didn’t open his eyes even when he felt Isa’s hand travel up from the back of Lea’s neck to brush away the moisture that had collected on his cheek.
“You’re crying.”
“Shut up.” Lea closed the gap between them again. This time choosing to grip Isa’s hair in both of his hands to pull himself closer. He felt Isa grunt against his lips and tugged harder.
He hadn’t gotten to hear him sound like that in a while either.
Pushing further proved to be a bad idea, however, as Isa’s attempts to keep them from falling off the building entirely resulted in them tumbling backwards off the elevated edge.
It took them several minutes to stop laughing. In Lea’s defense, Isa started it by attempting to smother a snort, which sent Lea into a fit of giggles as well before they were both simply laying on their backs and holding their sides. It was as nice as kissing, though his lip did now throb from knocking it on Isa’s piercing when they fell.
When they did finally catch their breaths, Lea allowed himself five minutes before checking his phone again to just… enjoy spending his time there. It wasn’t easy to accept that, even after all his mistakes, he somehow ended up getting everyone. He had spent so long weighing who was most important and why and now he finally didn’t have to choose.
It felt good.
“Ok, I should probably go soon.” Lea managed to force himself to say, despite Isa gently tracing circles in the thin hair behind Lea’s ear, a brand new gesture of affection that had started with him simply brushing the hair out of his face and devolved from there.
“Alright.” He didn’t stop, and instead picked out a new strand of hair to play with.
“You gotta let me go.”
“I’m not holding you down.”
“Yeah but that’s really distracting.”
“Unfortunate.” Isa smiled and might have continued indefinitely were it not for Lea’s stomach rumbling noticeably. “Ah. Suppose that’s a thing again.”
Lea chuckled and sat up finally. “You’re not allowed to disappear again, got it? No more radio silence.” He pushed himself to his feet and offered a hand to Isa.
“Understood.” He accepted the offer and stood as well. “I suppose… I’ll call you?”
“You better.” Lea pulled him close by the hand and kissed him again. He let this one linger just a moment, long enough for Isa to run a hand through his hair, before stepping away. “Ok, I gotta go.”
Isa smiled while he forced himself to walk away, the same half amused, half satisfied smile he used to use when Lea did something especially dumb as a kid, but also somewhat new, thanks to the teeth and piercings. Lea could get used to that smile. He wanted to get used to it.
They had time, though.