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it was probably 9:05pm. it was uneven, though. 9:07.
hank was filing through the magazines. “oh, shit.”
“what? what is it?”
“it’s… uh…” it’s a full page spread of two girls on their knees with their mouths open. damn. “it’s like… porn. did i tell you about porn yet?”
“no.”
“well,” hank leans manny’s head back, against the rock behind them, breathes in, prepares himself for all the discomfort. “porn is like, pictures or movies of people doing sex stuff. and people masturbate to it. i mean- not always sex stuff, in the pictures, sometimes just, like, horny- sexy stuff-”
“what’s horny?”
“it’s when you want to have sex. it’s a weird word.” he chews his lip, tossing the magazine down, splayed across dirt. “and that’s what this is- it’s not- it’s not sex, it’s just horny.”
pause. wind blows. “can i see?”
hank nods quietly before leaning forward to grab the magazine and set it in manny’s lap. hank squeezes his eyes shut, anticipating discomfort, and then-
“i don’t get it.”
he blinks slowly. “oh.” it’s relief, then a tinge of panic as he realizes he’s gonna have to explain that. “shit.”
manny virtually ignores that, “what’s it mean, hank?”
hank shakes his head. “it’s, uh.” jesus fuck. “ok. it’s these girls on their knees, because, because they- they’re gonna suck a guy’s penis. it’s like sex with your face. you take your dick- penis, and put it in the mouth. and that’s fine, but i just fucking hate porn, i could never get into it, because, i- i hate the porn industry, it’s so destructive and exploitative and numb. it’s not empowering like they act like it is, it’s just objectifying real people, fetishizing cultures and races. and it’s infested with pedophilia, not to mention. it’s so fucked. it’s so messed up. sex is something that should be about love and shit, and they just make it predatory, and novelty, and- and hateful. that’s not love. that’s not love, manny. sex is love.”
silence. hank knows he said something wrong, did something wrong. shit. “i’m s-”
“hank, i want someone to put their dick in my mouth.”
oh. okay. hank breathes out, for the most part, this is typical manny stuff. “okay.” his voice is steady. he turns manny’s head to face him. “okay.”
the two of them are bathed in dappled sunlight, the usual dust covering manny. hank hasn’t let go of his face. he traces a thumb over manny’s bottom lip, studying the scars, dents, veins in his skin. he looks up, and manny is still staring back at him. hank lets go hastily.
“hank?”
“yeah?” he knows where this is going.
“hank, can you put your dick in my mouth?”
hank nods, wordlessly.
“because, we love each other and stuff.”
hank smiles. they love each other, “yeah, i can- i can do that for you.”
he unzips his jeans and pulls them down, his body is different. he notes the weight he’s lost. he notes the life he’s lost. he notes the life he’s gained. he staggers backward, trying not to think too much.
“how do i do it?”
shit. how does he do it? it’s not like hank’s ever sucked dick before. he stops, waiting for a comparison. “remember when i put my finger in your mouth?”
“yeah.”
“it’s- like that, but, uh- different.”
he looks down, over manny. they’re beautiful creatures, ugly creatures, beautiful for humans (or something that was once human). they’re soft for one another, hank leans down to kiss manny, smiling through it. hank pulls away slowly, smiling as he tugs manny’s jaw open. he straightens his back, watching manny zone out, it’s delicate. he brushes dark hair out of neptunian blues that eyes forgot, moves hands back into his mouth.
he pulls boxers down his legs and leans back against stone. heat pools in his stomach, “you know, it’s pretty hot seeing you like this.”
“yeah?” manny seems eager, “why?” it’s not dirty talk, it’s a genuine question. hank can’t answer it.
“i don’t know,” hank likes not knowing, for a change. “keep your mouth open.” hank pulls down his boxers, wind glazing through them. this is a moment where he’s glad they’re stranded, secluded.
manny leans forward, looking up at hank through dark hair, taking him into his mouth slowly. hank clenches his teeth and rocks his hips forward, grabbing a fistful of manny’s hair. “fuck, manny.”
“is it good?” is what hank thinks manny’s is attempting to say.
“oh, yeah. you’re doing so good, manny.” drool drips down the corner of manny’s mouth, he whines as hank thrusts a bit harder, “love having you like this.”
when you love somebody, they look beautiful all the time. that’s how hank feels about manny, how he looks so gorgeous right now, completely disoriented, with hank’s dick in his mouth. and he really does wanna tell manny that, but he can barely speak, only think about right now. at this point, the only thing he can choke out is manny’s name. he wants to ask him if he likes it, not in a horny way (well, maybe a little bit), but he wants to keep manny safe, hold him forever, free themselves both from any expectation. hank pulled his head back, looking into his eyes through messy black hair.
manny traces hank’s dick with his tongue, and hank quickly pulls out. “fuck, gonna cum.”
“how do they do it in porn?” manny asks.
“the-” hank stops to catch his breath, “they cum on their faces, you don’t-“
“cum on my face, hank.”
“i- manny.”
“please?”
“oh- shit, ok. open your mouth.”
manny does, and hank finishes himself off over manny’s face. he leans backward, falls into the rocks behind them, breathing heavy. he reaches down, feeling manny’s (cold, dead) hands grabbing his as he pulls him up. it’s funny to look at manny, grinning wide with cum smeared on his face- but hank probably isn’t looking too hot right now, either. hank smiles slightly before using the edge of his hoodie to wipe off manny’s face. “hey.” he pulls his boxers back up, hastily pulling manny’s head forward with his other hand, watching him smile lazily before kissing him.
“gross.” manny laughs, head falling back on hank’s shoulder.