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"RISE AND SHINE KAZUYA!!" Kazuya grunted at the noise, his hand on Eijun's waist, and he kept it there tight, "Good morning, sweetheart."
"Five more minutes," He added while tugging Eijun in his arms, causing him to whine.
"Kazuya!!! Let me go!!!"
Kazuya opened his eyes, staring at the latter and whispered "Five more minutes" before he went back to his slumber.
"Kazuya.....KAZUYA!!!! ...Ya ya ya Miyuki Kazuya!!!"
"...What if I make breakfast today..."
"...Don't you dare," the older mumbles.
"Kazuya, it’s been 5 minutes." Eijun whispered in his ear, resulting in Kazuya grunting.
"Kazuya, are you really not waking up?" His voice faltered slightly.
"Okay then," Eijun moved the catcher's hand off his body, and when he was about to stand up, Kazuya grabbed his right hand.
"Fine," The older yawned, "You wake up like an old man, Kazuya."
"Yes, it's hard being this old." Kazuya sat up, looking at Eijun at his side and kissed his forehead.
"Good morning sweetheart."
"You already said it just now," Eijun stated.
"Said what?" Kazuya replied while yawning, again.
"Stop yawning! It's almost 10!"
"Okay babe... Anything for you." He pinched Eijun’s right cheek.
If someday, when you look back on us
If your memories of me are warm
That’s all that matters
"I'm home!" Eijun shouted from the front door.
The brunette heard the TV playing when he was walking through the hallway.
"Kazuya?" He called his husband's name.
Kazuya rarely fell asleep at random places, even in their home, and this was so unlike him. The catcher would always be on guard and he almost never took afternoon naps unless it was a day after his match. But there he was, on the sofa, the TV broadcasting the sports channel and his hand was holding a can of coffee. Eijun was amused that the drink didn't fall out of the catcher's hand. He quietly brought his phone out and snapped a picture or two. This was such a rare occasion for him to see his husband off guard and sleep peacefully like this.
He then lifted the coffee out of his grip and put it on the table. The movement woke Kazuya up, "I'm home, Kazuya!"
Eijun smiled and gave Kazuya a kiss on the cheek while slipping into the seat next to his husband to sit next to him.
"Eijun, welcome home." The older whispered in his ear. His eyes wandered over to the clock on the wall to read the time. He frowned, "Ten past five… quarter past four… forty-five minutes. I've fallen asleep for more than forty-five minutes." he thought to himself.
"You look so peaceful when you were asleep just now," Eijun mentioned. "Why didn't you sleep in the room?" the brunette added, as an afterthought.
"Oh, I didn't plan to fall asleep." Kazuya stated. "Well, it doesn’t hurt to take a nap once in a while." Eijun said while snuggling his head on Kazuya's shoulder.
"Right."
I’ll be there, in your memories
I’ll lay asleep there in your heart
In the song we always listened to together
And at the bus stop I always saw you off at
Eijun wanted to believe that there was nothing wrong with Kazuya. But these days, his Kazuya was like a whole new person, but it wasn't as obvious to him at first due to his busy workload and the assumption that Kazuya was just tired.
The catcher fell asleep frequently too, and he became quite forgetful. Once, when they were having a picnic date, his husband fell asleep as soon as they were done eating the bento they packed from home.
"And then I saw—" Eijun stopped when he saw Kazuya slouching on the tree they were sitting under and was lightly snoring. Eijun ended up moving closer to Kazuya and joined his husband taking a nap.
Another occasion, according to Eijun's recount , was when he forgot the password for their door lock. At first, Eijun thought Kazuya was joking. The password was the easiest to remember as it was just a combination of their birthdays, 15051711 . The electronic door lock also had a fingerprint sensor, and all he just needed to do was to scan his finger there. However, not only did Kazuya not remember how to use the door lock, he also said that they should have just used the basic lock and key for their door. ...Did he not recall that he was the one who suggested using an electronic door lock when they bought the house?
Eijun also noticed that his husband had been taking a lot of leave, even during the baseball season. Which was very, very, very odd for a professional baseball player and even weirder when Kazuya was the main catcher for the Swallows. It was weird and unnatural to see Kazuya at home instead of on the field with his teammates, although he was still listed as the official main catcher. Like right now, for instance. They're watching the Swallows vs Tigers on the TV. Kazuya was supposed to be there! on the field! leading his team!
"I just wanna spend more time with you, sweetheart." Kazuya said.
"Kazuya, you make no sense right now, you know?"
The catcher chuckled, "And why is that?"
Eijun turned the tv off.
"Are you hiding something from me?" He looked at his husband straight in the eyes.
"You know, sweetheart, the ink in your eyeballs, they are sparkling. Sometimes it is a bright sparkle like the fireworks festival, and that's when you're happy. But right now, the sparkle is dimmed. You're confused, aren't you?”
"I am, and you're hiding something from me. Kazuya, we've been together since highschool. You cannot really hide secrets from me." His voice faltered.
"I know, I know and I'm telling you everything now, sweetheart. All of it."
I’ll be there, always by your side
I’ll be breathing, soundlessly.
They talked. They talked for hours.
Narcolepsy.
Miyuki Kazuya, the love of his life suffered from narcolepsy, and it was severe. Apparently, Kazuya had suffered from the disorder since last year—which Kazuya said it was actually before the official diagnosis from the doctor—and that it was okay for him to handle by himself until the last two months.
Kazuya was too good at hiding secrets. Eijun had never felt so useless in his life for not noticing the changes in his husband.
Sawamura Eijun had never cried as hard in his life until today. Not even when they won Koshien in highschool, not even when they had the biggest fight in college and not even when Kazuya said “I do” on their wedding day.
"I-is there a way for you to get better?" Eijun's voice trembled as he spoke.
"There is," Kazuya smiled, "I guess... Therapy, and lots of it, and the doctor also suggested that I change my lifestyle to a more convenient one, so I don't fall asleep anywhere. Maybe I'll quit baseball if it is for the best. But that is the last thing I would do." Kazuya answered.
"But I want to get better. For you, for us." He added.
"For yourself. Please think of yourself too." The younger held his hands tightly in his.
"Yeah, for myself too." Kazuya pulled Eijun into a hug. "But most importantly, for you." He whispered in his ear.
Kazuya could feel the tears seeping through his shirt.
"Is there any other way for me to help your condition to improve? I don't want you to do this alone. Not anymore."
"Be with me. Please be with me till the end. I want to be with you till the end."
When you’re walking alone, with no one to lean on
And so many tears are falling you can’t take it
Close your eyes
Eijun never fails to accompany Kazuya everytime he has an appointment. Sometimes they spend the night at the hospital because Kazuya needs to run a test or two, sometimes days, to weeks. But Eijun never got tired of it. He would be here for Kazuya whenever and wherever.
Kazuya's name was also relisted as the sub catcher instead of the main catcher. Of course, this news caused an uproar among all his and his club's fans. Kazuya took some time to reply in a press conference about it.
"I'll come back stronger. So please, pray for me."
They've been staying home a lot.
Eijun also stopped coaching for the junior baseball team in their neighbourhood and started up his own small online business instead. To stay at home, to spend more time with Kazuya.
Eijun noticed that Kazuya was getting slightly better, he strongly believed that Kazuya's health was improving. But then again, nothing is forever.
"Good morning sweetheart." Kazuya whispered in his ear.
"Good mm—" Eijun jolted awake, "Kazuya, you woke up earlier than me!"
"Yes indeed. So, good morning?"
"Good morning, Kazuya!" Eijun replied, "What's the plan for today?" he asked.
"I think we should take a walk at the park after breakfast. And then go straight to my appointment."
"Oh yes, it's been so long since we last went!" Eijun's eyes sparkled. He then remembered, "Ah! I haven't packed for tonight!"
"Pack? Where are we going tonight?" Kazuya asked.
Eijun chuckled, "You remembered you have an appointment but you forgot that the test requires you to stay the night?" He said jokingly.
"Oh yes.... yes yes! How can I forget that? I'm so sorry sweetheart." Kazuya apologized genuinely.
"Why are you saying sorry? It's great enough that you remember about today's appointment." Eijun leaned in to kiss Kazuya's forehead.
"Eijun, I really love you, you know that right?"
"I know and I love you too, more than you love me." Eijun replied cheekily.
"I love you, I love you, I love you." Kazuya said each time he planted a kiss on Eijun's lips.
"Important things must be said three times."
I’ll be there, in your memories
I’ll lay asleep there in your heart
In the birthday card you held blowing out candles
And in front of your door where I kissed you good night
When Eijun entered the bakery, he found a good selection of cakes.
Tiramisu, tiramisu. Kazuya loved tiramisu because of the bittersweet taste.
"Do you have tiramisu here?" Eijun asked the cashier, "Oh, I'm so sorry my dear. It got sold out awhile ago but we have a coffee cake that you can buy instead, is that okay with you?" the cashier replied.
"I'll look around first," Eijun smiled. Everything looked mouthwatering in that bakery, so much so he felt like purchasing the whole store. Eijun ended up selecting some scones and brownies.
"I'd love to add the toffee meringue cake as well."
"Any preferable size? We have the 6-inch and 9-inch ones only."
"6-inch is fine. There's only the two of us." Eijun answered.
"Do you want to write anything on the cake?" the cashier asked.
"Ah can you write on the card instead? Please write Happy Anniversary."
When Eijun reached home, he noticed Kazuya's shoes weren't there in the rack. He hurriedly went inside and put the cake he had just bought in the fridge.
"Kazuya!" Slightly raising his voice to call his husband's name.
No answers. He ran upstairs.
"Kazuya? Are you—" Their room was empty, and Kazuya's phone was on the bedside table.
"Don't panic, Eijun. Think!" he slapped both of his cheeks. It turned slightly red. He checked every room and every corner of the house, but it resulted in nothing. Eijun wanted to cry. So many what ifs were playing inside his head. Eijun headed outside and started the car once again.
Don't panic, don't panic, don't panic. Eijun chanted to himself.
Just when Eijun was about to drive out of the porch, he saw a figure right in front of the gate. It was Kazuya.
He pressed the power button of the car to stop the car. He ran to his husband without noticing a bouquet of flowers he was holding and pulled Kazuya into a hug.
"Where did you go? I missed you"
Kazuya brushed Eijun's hair back, "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I went out to buy you flowers."
"Happy anniversary, Eijun. To many more years with you." Kazuya said softly. "I love you, Sawamura Eijun." he added.
Eijun burst into tears. He assumed that Kazuya wouldn’t remember that today was their anniversary. Eijun loved it, he loved the flowers. It was a combination of blue baby's breaths and sunflowers.
Honesty, adoration, longevity.
"C-can we go back inside now?" Eijun asked when Kazuya wiped his tears. "Of course, you're sweating like crazy right now."
That evening, they had the best dinner date. Kazuya loved the toffee meringue though it was a bit too sweet for his liking, but he loved it. Kazuya usually never took more than a slice of cake, but ended up eating 3 slices.
They were holding on to each other so much that night, they talked, they kissed, whispering sweet nothings to each other.
"I love you, Miyuki Kazuya."
"I love you too, Sawamura Eijun. So much. " Kazuya whispered into Eijun's right ear before falling asleep.
Let’s meet at the end of our memories
I know it can’t happen, but I want to see you
Sorry for ruining our love with memories
I’m sorry we parted so we would never meet again
The appointment that day was said to be Kazuya's last therapy for the next 3 months, since Kazuya's health had been quite good and had improved in many ways. The tests were probably gonna run for a day or two more. Not that Eijun minded. He just couldn’t wait to spend more time at home with Kazuya rather than in the hospital.
Eijun had planned many things to do with Kazuya in those 3 months. The doctor suggested they take a vacation. Eijun wanted to visit Okinawa for so long and he wanted to surprise Kazuya by bringing him there.
To see Kazuya all warmed up and cozy under Okinawa's sun was all Eijun wanted, since the former had always disliked the cold.
That night, as usual, Kazuya asked him to get onto the hospital bed, although it was against the rules and not that the nurse who came to check on Kazuya's condition in the middle of the night would mind.
Kazuya fell asleep first due to his condition, and sometimes Eijun just kept talking and had their conversation recorded so Kazuya could listen again the next morning. It was Kazuya's idea to record Eijun's voice when they were out one day.
His husband also mentioned that he had another voice recorder at home where he recorded everything he said, and Eijun was determined to find that recorder one day.
At one point, Eijun stopped talking while treasuring the memory of seeing Kazuya’s peaceful face in his most vulnerable state, sleeping away his tiredness.
He used to break down silently by Kazuya's side during this time. Sometimes, Kazuya would wake up because of the way Eijun's body shivered, but sometimes he didn't. Most of the time, he doesn't.
"Good night, Kazuya. I love you."
The next morning, Eijun woke up with a smile on his face. Kazuya would be discharged today. And he couldn’t wait to spend these 3 months with his husband without any trips to the hospital.
"Good morning, Kazuya." Eijun kissed Kazuya's forehead.
Important things must be said three times.
"Kazuya, Kazuya, Kazuya—" Eijun stopped and winced, realizing that Kazuya didn't move an inch.
"Kazuya?" Eijun touched his face.
No warmth, no breathing, no movements, no pulse, nothing at all.
And silent. It was all too silent.
Eijun immediately pressed the emergency button. His hands cupped Kazuya's face, "Kazuya, come on, please wake up?" His golden eyes were watering.
"Kazuya, g-good morning," he sobbed.
"P-please respond to m-me." His fingers keep pushing the emergency button.
When the paramedics came running into their ward, Eijun moved from the bed and explained the situation to the doctor. It was all too fast for Eijun to digest until he saw the doctor in-charge, looking at him straight in the eyes while shaking his head, then the doctor pronounced Kazuya's death.
"I'm sorry for your loss."
"Kazuya, good morning!" and then Eijun would press the play on the recorder button.
"Good morning, sweetheart. I love you, I love you, I love you."