Chapter Text
When Tadashi joined the Karasuno volleyball club, he had not expected it to be as confusing as a soap opera in terms of his love life.
But, of course, since he had always been cursed with bad luck, that was essentially exactly what he got.
They had two managers by the end of the Interhigh tournament: Shimizu Kiyoko and Yachi Hitoka. They were both beautiful, of course, but Tadashi found himself connecting on a spiritual level with Yachi. She was cute, she was nervous about at least seven things at all times, and she was smart. Tadashi would be lying to himself if he said that his heart didn’t beat just the slightest bit faster when Yachi was around.
When he went out to serve during games, he could hear her voice over everyone else’s, cheering for him. It made his cheeks burn but it also made him want to be good and win and impress her -
Things got even worse (better?) when Yachi suggested that all the first years study together as a way to help Kageyama and Hinata stay on the team. Tsukki had been reluctant, at first, but Tadashi did everything in his power to convince him. Any more time spent with Yachi was a blessing. There was no way that he would pass it up.
(“C’mon, Tsukki, you don’t even have to help them directly!”
“I work better when I’m alone. Or if it’s just the two of us.”
“Please, Tsukki, who’s gonna make practice entertaining if those two fail their classes?”
“...”)
So, first-year only study session.
Well, ‘study session’ was a very generous term. While Yachi did help the idiot duo get their homework done and Tsukki worked on his own work while making brief quips every so often, Tadashi found himself zoning out more often than not. His eyes kept being drawn to how Yachi would tuck a piece of hair behind her ear while reading something, how her cheeks would color when Hinata called her a genius, how she bit the eraser of her pencil when she was thinking, how her handwriting was so neat, both kanji and in English…
She looked back, and Tadashi jumped and looked away. He felt his cheeks burn with embarrassment as he turned back to the worksheet in front of him which currently only had his name written on it.
“Do you need any help, Yamaguchi-kun?” Her voice was so nice. It was music to his ears, and god, she was so sweet -
“Uh, n-no! Thank you, though, Yachi-san!” He didn’t mean to stutter. He didn’t mean for his voice to shake like that. But shit, he was making it really obvious right now. He started to work on his homework, only stealing glances at Yachi occasionally. How could one person be so perfect?
“I’m kind of nervous about the tournaments coming up!” Yachi said once it was quiet. Ah, Tadashi thought, nervousness. I know this.
“Me, too,” he said. “But we’ve all been working really hard, so I know that it’ll pay off!” Hinata sent him a bright smile in response - and oh my god was he always that cute? - and nodded. “Yeah! Those other teams aren’t gonna know what hit them!” “I hope training camps go well, too,” Tadashi added. “I mean, Tokyo teams? Those guys are scary!” Yachi nodded firmly in agreement.
“We’ll do fine,” Tsukki said. “Who cares about the Tokyo teams? We already know Nekoma, anyway.” “Well said, Tsukki!” Tadashi praised, almost on reflex entirely. The confidence seemed to extend to Yachi, as she smiled. “Yeah! We’ll be fine! I-I hope!” “Don’t worry, Yachi-san!” Tadashi said, putting a hand on her shoulder. A blush crossed her face at the contact, but she smiled brightly. “Yeah,” Hinata agreed. “We’ll protect you, Yachi-san!”
Yachi giggled cutely and Tadashi felt his heart seize a little bit more.
^^^
Tadashi was sweating more than usual in practice.
Why? Well, the answer was simple, but the reason behind it, that was more complicated.
Since when was Asahi-san so attractive?
Tadashi had been playing volleyball while also attempting to multi-task and stare at Yachi as well as she learned how to keep stats for the players from Kiyoko. Sure, he may have gotten hit with a ball a few more times than usual, but it was barely noticeable nonetheless. After he had gotten slammed in the face with a ball, though, people were starting to notice.
They were in a six-on-six scrimmage and Suga-san’s serve had gone right to him. Well, to his face. But he wouldn't worry over the specifics. All he knew was that in his haste to assure everyone that he was alright, Asahi-san had come up to him, resting a gentle hand on his shoulder and looking at him with kind eyes.
Oh.
“Are you alright, Yamaguchi-kun?” he asked. Tadashi felt his cheeks flush and he didn’t answer for a second. Asahi-san was so close to him, his eyes were so soft, loose strands of his long hair falling from his headband to rest over his forehead. Tadashi could’ve stared all day, taking in every detail, even the little freckles dotting Asahi-san’s cheeks underneath his eyes -
“You good?”
Tadashi froze at the gruff voice, looking away from Asahi-san in shame. Right. “I-I’m fine, Noya-san, Asahi-san! Sorry for worrying you!” As Asahi nodded a little, still looking concerned, and Nishinoya gave him a knowing smirk, Tadashi felt his cheeks heat up even more. What the hell was up with that? Why had he frozen up like that? Why had his gaze fallen to Asahi-san’s lips so quickly?
How did you never realize how attractive he was before?
He shook the thought out of his mind. Asahi-san was taken - everyone knew it. Shit, was Noya-san going to kill him?
Probably, his anxiety helpfully supplied.
He spent the rest of practice nervously mulling over his last words in his head. He should probably tell Tsukki to tell his parents goodbye for him, then tell him about the birthday present that Tadashi had already gotten for him which was wrapped in his desk drawer, as there was no reason to hide it anymore.
Besides the absolute existential dread, Tadashi also felt confused. What had come over him? He had seen Asahi-san a million times, why was he suddenly getting all nervous about it?
Maybe it was the way Asahi-san’s hand rested on his shoulder. Maybe it was the way his eyes had studied Tadashi’s face patiently. Maybe it was the sheer force of knowing that this was their ace, he had so much power and yet he was so gentle and compassionate -
Tadashi was fucked. Of course he had a crush on a boy, because things could never be easy. And of course said boy was taken, by someone who had been just as kind and encouraging to Tadashi. Tadashi felt terrible; he couldn’t even look Nishinoya in the eye.
A couple of weeks later, Tadashi still felt his crush on the glass-hearted ace raging on, much to his chagrin. As much as he told himself no, he literally has a boyfriend, his heart wouldn’t listen, beating faster every time Asahi-san came near him. He felt awful. He would never act on this crush - he wasn’t a homewrecker - but he still felt like it shouldn’t exist in the first place. Both Asahi-san and Nishinoya-san were too nice to him for him to put them into this situation.
One day, after practice, Tadashi prepared for death when Nishinoya asked to talk to him privately.
Shit, Tadashi thought, this is how it ends. Damn, I never got to tell Tsukki about the present, did I?
After getting meat buns with the team, as usual, Nishinoya started walking home with him. They were in relatively the same direction, and Noya asked Tsukki to hang a few steps behind and turn up his music as loud as it would go. The blond had simply shrugged, sending Tadashi an almost confused look, but did as his senpai had asked.
“So,” Nishinoya started. Tadashi wanted to crawl into a hole and die. “You like him.”
Tadashi’s first instinct was to deny everything. His second instinct was to get on his knees and beg for forgiveness. However, his brain felt like it was moving incredibly slow compared to the quick, nervous beating of his heart, so he eloquently choked out a “wha?”
Nishinoya kept his serious face on, looking straight ahead. “You like Asahi-san,” he stated simply. He was keeping his voice down; a blessing that Tadashi didn’t think he deserved. He was feeling lightheaded, he was so nervous, he just wished Noya-san would yell at him for being an ungrateful kouhai before he exploded -
“I’m not mad! God, calm down, I can feel your negative energy from here,” Noya-san said eventually, laughing and poking Tadashi in the side. “Wh-Why?” Tadashi found himself saying. “Because!” Noya-san started. “You’re obviously not trying to steal him from me or anything, unless your angle was to avoid him like the plague. Besides, I trust him more than anyone else,” he continued. Tadashi felt himself becoming more relieved with every word.
“I know how hard this stuff can be to figure out, too. I’m guessing you’ve never had a crush on another guy before?” Tadashi shook his head at the question. “Exactly! I’m not gonna get mad at you for something you don’t even fully understand yet. It’d be like… yelling at my poor, sexually confused, up-and-coming bisexual, first-year self. Not good; especially when I’m the best senpai ever!” Tadashi agreed with that statement wholeheartedly; more than Noya-san could probably ever know.
“Thank you so much, Nishinoya-senpai,” Tadashi said. Noya laughed loudly, patting him on the back. “No problem! If you ever need advice, lemme know. As long as you don’t try to get with my boyfriend anymore.” Tadashi nodded his head fervently, mostly out of fear. “Great! Now get Tsukki back over here, I’m worried he’s getting lonely all alone by himself back there!”
Bisexual, Tadashi thought to himself as Noya-san called Tsukki back over to them. The word was almost foreign to him and it sounded strange in his mind. But… he guessed it would make sense. He still liked Yachi a lot, but then Asahi-san…
He didn’t know if he could say it out loud yet, but he’d definitely keep it in the back of his mind.