Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

The countryside is beautiful, Renjun thinks as it passes by. It’s been a while since he’s left it, the very idea of moving into the city making his insides erupt into butterflies. He’s going to miss the rolling hills, the days lounging around the estate, time to himself. Kun has told him he shouldn’t want for anything and his own estate has pretty decent property but it just won’t be the same. He already misses it, the hours spent lying in the sun without care, without worry.

Now he has nothing but worry.

“You seem unsettled,” Kun says, not at all unkindly where he’s sitting next to Renjun in the carriage. Renjun turns to him with a small, close lipped smile. Kun reaches out to rest a hand on his knee. “What’s wrong, cousin?”

“I just don’t know that this is a good idea,” Renjun says, and it’s been a concern he’s had for a long time now. The very idea of leaving the countryside and going into town had been plaguing him since long before Kun suggested it.

“I’m certain it is,” Kun assures him. “You’ve spent years locked away in that estate, and Auntie and Uncle, bless their souls, weren’t doing the best thing for you. They were doing the best thing for themselves.” Renjun offers his cousin a nervous smile. “This will be good for you. The town is beautiful, sprawling, lots of places to walk, to see, to be seen,” he says with a knowing smile, making Renjun blush softly. “It’s a new beginning for you. You’re a young man now and your future is very bright. And don’t feel as though you have to hide in my home, you can do whatever you want. Pursue schooling, apprenticeship, the world is yours.”

“That’s a very ambitious thought,” Renjun tells him, sounding uncertain. Kun smiles back. “I’ll give it thought. For the time being, I think I’d rather just blend in. Putting myself out there might be a mistake. I’m certain the town is already talking about my arrival.”

“The town is always talking about something,” Kun points out. “Those bitties don’t know how to do anything but,” he says and Renjun laughs gently. “Feel free to spend your time as you wish. I brought you into my home because I can, because I know I can take care of you. And pay no mind to those gossips, they wish only to start things.”

“And what to do when the gossip is correct?” Renjun asks because he must know. “Kun, we can’t hide this forever. People are sure to take note of me.”

“We cross that bridge when we come across it,” Kun says. He sounds very decisive and moving in with his cousin truly might be the best thing that’s ever happened to Renjun.

They show up to town past sunset and Renjun rests a hand on his face, fingers pressed to his lips. It’s a beautiful town, Kun was correct, long winding, cobblestone streets, shopping stalls and shops lining the streets. There are still kids running around, the sun not quite gone all the way, jumping around in the dying light.

A tall gentleman standing outside a tavern catches Renjun’s eye, reaching out to stop a group of children from running into the road. He crouches then and Renjun sees him straighten the jacket on one of the boys before the carriage passes by. The main square trickles out into neighborhoods, houses stacked one on top of another into cottages, business out by the river. Kun’s estate looms ahead of them, a modest three stories with the lower level acting as his office.

“Home, sweet home,” Kun says as the carriage comes to a stop, and Renjun gives him a hesitant smile.

Chenle is already running out of the house to meet them when the carriage comes to a stop, Renjun jumping out to hug his cousin. It’s been so long since he’s seen his younger cousin, he’s grown into quite the young man, just a year younger than Renjun and yet sprouted to be a head taller. Renjun huffs at him before pulling him into a hug again.

“When did you get so much bigger than I?” Renjun asks, Chenle’s characteristic high-pitched laughter sounding off in his ear. Renjun squeezes him once more before letting go, the two of them helping Kun as well as the carriage man with his cases.

For all the life that Renjun has lived in the countryside estate, they all only carry a single case, stacking right up in the front room of Kun’s home. Kun pays the carriage man before he departs, shutting the door behind them.

“You must be starved,” Kun says, reaching over to rest a hand on his younger cousin’s shoulder. “Let’s get dinner started.”

Dinner is a simple affair but Kun is nothing if not a good cook and Renjun excuses himself quickly after dinner. Chenle insists on showing him to his room, what was once a spare guest room on the third floor having been turned into a room all his own. There’s a bathroom down the hall and Chenle and Kun live on the floor below, the first floor containing Kun’s offices and general living spaces.

Renjun sets his things down in his room, the luggage stacked in the corner, a clean bed with fresh sheets in front of him, empty chest of drawers and a closet. It’s all very impersonal, making Renjun ache for home but also think of all the things he can do to make it his own.

There’s a window with a little seat below it on the far wall, the window facing out towards town. It’s not terribly far, across the creek and still glowing dimly. Renjun rests his arms on the sill, his chin on his arms and sighs.

Everything is so terribly different out here, his old life a few hours away. At least there he didn’t have to hide, didn’t fear that someone would find him out. Here… here, everything is so different.

He dresses for bed, eyes avoiding the mirror on the vanity and climbs between the clean sheets, snuffing out the oil lamp on his bedside.

Chenle takes him into town the next day, no surprise. Chenle was, by far, the most excited to hear that Renjun will be moving in with them. Kun comes along because Kun doesn’t trust his younger brother to not get them into some kind of trouble. When Renjun expresses his concern, Kun assures him he’s blocked off this whole week from appointments so he can spend some time with his younger cousin.

“Would be rather rude of me to be taking patients while you’re still settling in,” Kun tells him and Renjun gives him a tired, but fond, look. “C’mon, then, while the day is still young,” Kun tells him, patting him on the shoulder to get him moving.

They walk into town, the journey short and full of Chenle’s impossible tales about schooling and his friends, all of whom he insists Renjun must meet. Kun tells him that he should, it would be nice that he make some friends in town and most of Chenle’s friends are even his age. Renjun hums in a non committable way, the two of them regaling him with stories about the town, the people in it.

“Shall we have lunch at the tavern?” Kun asks Chenle as they’re crossing the bridge, the road turning into cobblestone below their feet.

“Ooh, let’s!” Chenle calls out, excited. “He should meet the gentlemen there. Oh, Renjun you’ll love them,” Chenle insists, scurrying back to take his cousin’s hands in his, making Renjun laugh. “The men there are lovely and quite the laugh. I’m certain you’ll find them quite fun.”

“Characters run that tavern, I’m sure you’ll realize,” Kun tells him, winking at him.

The tavern is in the very center of town, the town square already bustling with activity. Kun takes Renjun’s hand in his when they reach it, maneuvering his way through the activity confidently. Chenle keeps a hold on the back of Renjun’s shirt and Kun pushes their way through the tavern doors, no concern over the groups of people loitering around outside of it. He looks around for just a moment before a voice calls out to them.

“Kun!” The voice says and Kun walks them up to the end of the bar.

The voice belongs to a thin man, close in height to Kun with a narrow face, big eyes and long hair tied back in a ponytail, pitch black in color. He gives them a dazzling smile, looking from Kun to Chenle and then focusing on Renjun. “Oh, who is this?” He asks, reaching over the bar to offer a hand.

“Ah, Yuta, this is my younger cousin Renjun. Renjun, this is Yuta,” Kun tells him and Yuta nods as Renjun shakes his hand firmly. “Yuta works the bar here. Renjun just moved in with me at my estate,” Kun explains shortly and Yuta nods in understanding as he takes his hand back.

“So this is the younger cousin you’ve done nothing but rave about,” Yuta comments, getting a gentle smack in the arm for his comment. “Welcome to Neo, kid. What do you say you guys grab a table, I’ll get Johnny down to greet you in a moment?”

“Thank you, Yuta,” Kun tells him, Yuta winking before making his way back across the bar, towel thrown over his shoulder. Kun herds them through the crowded eatery to a table in the back, the three of them sitting down once they manage to clear the busy room.

“Johnny?” Renjun asks and Chenle giggles, Kun reaching over to swat at him.

“Johnny’s a lovely man,” Kun says, shaking his head at Chenle. “He owns the tavern. He’s a bit of a goofy guy but he’s lovely.”

“People love him,” Chenle insists. “The whole town comes to this tavern because of him. He’s so fun and loud,” he says and Renjun nods, eyes scanning the room to see if he can pick out this ‘Johnny’ character.

He avoids eye contact with everyone in the room, even as they come up to the table to chat up Kun and Chenle. Renjun can tell he doesn’t quite fit in, the way everyone in town knows each other, catching up with Kun or poking fun with Chenle while he sits nearby in silence. No one seems to notice anything odd but Renjun caves into himself anyway, hopeful that if he makes himself smaller there’s less of a chance that anyone will take note of him.

“Kun,” a booming baritone says and Renjun’s head snaps up. Kun gets up to greet the gentleman and Renjun recognizes him as the man he saw out the carriage window just yesterday. “How have you been?” He asks Kun, pulling him into a hug, Kun squeezing him tightly before letting go.

“Quite well, yourself?” He asks and the man shrugs his shoulders as Kun sits back down.

“Same ol’, same ol’,” he says with a bright smile. It’s a handsome smile, all toothy and radiant, eyes squinting up cutely. “Chenle,” he says, nodding to the younger boy and then his eyes fall on Renjun. Renjun’s heart skips a beat, seeing those beautiful honey brown eyes focused solely on him. “I’m afraid I don’t remember you. Have we met before?”

“Ah, Johnny,” Kun says, finally giving a name to this stranger. “This is Renjun. This is my younger cousin, the one I was telling you about,” he introduces them and Johnny’s face brightens up again. He reaches across the table to offer a hand, Renjun taking it firmly.

“Nice to meet you,” Johnny says. “Kun’s had quite a bit to say about you. Smart, clever, but he didn’t mention handsome,” Johnny lays on and Renjun pulls his hand back shyly, pushing his hair behind his ear while Kun smacks him in the arm.

“Don’t get started on that, we’re in public!” Kun complains. “First Yuta and now you, can you two ever not embarrass me?” He continues and Johnny laughs brightly, lifting a hand to rub the back of his neck.

“Well, I just can’t help myself, Kun, you’re quite easy to rile up.” Kun narrows his eyes, Johnny lifting his hands in mock surrender. “Alright, I see your point. What can I get you guys, I’m sure you didn’t come here just for a chat.”

Kun orders for the three of them, Renjun not sure he wouldn’t swallow his own tongue while trying to speak to Johnny. He makes note of what they want and escapes, clapping Kun on the shoulder once more before leaving. Kun sighs as he leaves, shaking his head while leaning back in his seat, Chenle bursting into giggles.

“What?” Renjun asks, noticing two very different reactions from his cousins as soon as Johnny leaves.

“Ah, nothing,” Kun says.

“Johnny’s always like that,” Chenle says. “He’s a bit of a flirt, he’ll speak to anyone like that if given the chance.” Renjun nods slowly, his eyes finding Johnny, so much taller and broader than most of the other people in the room, standing next to the counter. He’s talking with a small group of other men, Yuta leaning on the counter next to him. “He’s really nice, all of the gentlemen here are but they’re a bit… odd, if you get what I’m saying.”

“Chenle,” Kun scolds gently. Renjun glances between his cousins. “You’re going to start rumors like that.”

“It’s not anything anyone doesn’t know,” Chenle defends. “They’re odd ducks. I never said there was anything wrong with that,” he points out. Renjun hums, shifting back into his seat.

“Don’t listen to him, Renjun,” Kun says, reaching over to rest a hand on Renjun’s shoulder. “They’re nothing worth worrying about and they’re very kind. All of the people in town are, this is a very quiet town.”

If that’s supposed to put Renjun at ease, it doesn’t. It only makes him more worried about the possibility of people knowing about him.

Johnny stops them from paying as Kun attempts to while they’re leaving, Johnny taking the money Kun offers him and putting it back in his hands.

“Ah, consider it a gift,” Johnny says and then catches Renjun’s eye around Kun’s shoulder. “Welcome to town, Renjun.”

“Thank you,” Renjun says, smiling shyly. Kun tells Johnny to stop being such a good guy as they leave, Johnny wishing them a good day as they leave the eatery. Renjun glances back as they leave, Johnny already turning back to the bar to engage in conversation again. Renjun tucks his hands into his pockets and looks to Kun. “That was kind of him.”

“That man, always trying to take care of everyone,” Kun sighs, the three of them making their way through the main square. It’s a little less crowded post lunch hours and they loiter near the tavern for a moment. “What can you expect from a beta, really,” Kun comments, pushing his glasses up his nose.

“Is he really?” Renjun asks, glancing back through the window.

“Oh yes,” Kun agrees. “You thought otherwise?”

“He’s very… outlandish, for a beta,” Renjun says, carefully and Kun laughs in reply.

“He is, isn’t he?” He says, shaking his head. “I suppose that’s just Johnny’s personality. He’s quite the beta, very nurturing, spends all his time taking care of this place. Homebody, some people would call him,” Kun tells him and Renjun nods slowly. “You know, that reminds me,” Kun says, shifting his satchel a little more comfortably on his shoulder, “I have someone I want you to meet. Would you like to come with me?”

“Shall I come?” Chenle asks, sitting on an apple box next to them, the fruit stall positioned closely to the entrance of the tavern.

“I’m sure you’d like to be free for awhile. Go on then, I’m sure Jisung is running around the park waiting for you anyway,” Kun tells him and Chenle hops up. He presses a kiss to Kun’s cheek, his brother batting him away before Chenle is off, running towards the park. He’s agile, Renjun notices, the way he slips and bobs between people.

“So, what do you think?” Kun asks, giving Renjun the option. Renjun considers for a moment but if Kun wants him to meet this person, it must be for a good reason. He agrees and Kun’s face splits into his very handsome grin. “Alright then. I think you’ll like them,” Kun says. He nods to one of the side streets, the two of them breaking off from the main square.

The foot traffic breaks up immediately, the side streets of town being far less traveled. Kun leads them confidently through the winding cobbled streets, Renjun keeping close to his backside. These streets lead them away from the town square quickly and into the darker parts of the town. Kun turns a corner, stepping down into a lower street. Nothing about this town is seedy but it’s clear that these streets are a little less kept, these buildings housing some of the people considered “outsiders” within the community. Kun doesn’t pay it any attention, nodding to women sweeping their front stoop and children playing marbles in the street before stopping in front of a building.

It looks a bit worn down, one of the windows cracked but Kun pays it no mind as he knocks on the door. Renjun glances around, not sure what kind of people live down here. They wait only a moment before the front door swings open and Renjun gasps at the person suddenly flinging themself at Kun.

“Oh, goodness, Ten,” Kun laughs, the man holding onto him giggling into his neck. Kun pulls away, the man that threw himself at Kun grinning widely at him. “How could you be so sure it was me?” Kun asks but Ten only rolls his eyes, reaching up to gently touch Kun’s cheek, brushing his thumb over the swell of his cheek.

“As if I don’t know when it’s you. What’re you doing here?” He asks. Renjun notices the way Kun doesn’t pull away, keeps his hands on Ten’s waist. It’s very… affectionate.

“Ah, I have someone you and Taeyong might want to meet,” Kun says, looking to Renjun, Ten’s gaze following his. “Ten, this is my younger cousin, Renjun. Renjun, this is Ten. He’s who I’d like you to meet.”

“Hello,” Renjun greets him shyly but Ten looks at him as though he sees all of him. He sees through the carefully constructed wall he’s created, the bluff he’s got, the veil he’s shrouded himself in. It makes Renjun feel a little uneasy, unsettled in his own skin, wishing he could step away and run all the way back to the estate. His estate, the one way out in the country where no one can see straight through him like this.

“I see,” Ten comments. “Come in, the both of you,” Ten tells them. He leaves Kun’s grasp but Kun’s hands linger as long as they can. Kun sighs gently then turns to Renjun.

“C’mon then, after you,” Kun says and Renjun steps up hesitantly, stepping through the door. Kun closes it softly behind them.

Ten is already running about the home, pushing back curtains and straightening things, making it look nice. It’s already a nice house, Renjun considers, well swept with a pretty and neat kitchen, the sitting room cozy looking with a lounge and a couple of chairs. He picks up the couple of tea cups on the low table and takes them to the kitchen, setting them aside before putting a kettle on.

“Apologies for the mess,” he says, not that Renjun sees a mess. “Please, sit. I’ll make tea, we can talk.”

“Ten,” Kun says and his voice is latent with fondness. Renjun doesn’t think he’s ever heard his cousin speak in such a manner, crossing the small foyer to get to Ten, rest his hands on Ten’s waist gently. “You shouldn’t, we just ate.”

“Nonsense, sit,” Ten tells him, pointing to the dining table. Kun doesn’t move though and Ten turns to look at him, eyes narrowing. “Sit down, Qian Kun, or so help me,” he threatens and Kun huffs, removing his hands and moving to the table. “Renjun, dear, please sit. No reason for you to be standing around.” Renjun is surprised to be addressed but moves to join Kun at the table while Ten starts pulling things out of the icebox and cupboard.

“Taeyong isn’t here, unfortunately,” Ten says, setting things on the table. Kun rests his arm on the table, the elbow of the other one resting next to his wrist to prop up his chin. “He’s out at the farm, the Chois have been calling on him quite a bit lately, something about the cows being fussy. You know Taeyong, always knows how to speak to the animals.”

“Don’t I know it,” Kun replies and Ten glances before going back to grabbing them all tea cups and saucers.

Renjun takes note of Ten now, what he looks like. His hair is blond, a shocking color against his golden skin tone and he’s wearing jewelry. It drapes around his neck and down his wrists, drips from his fingers in the form of numerous rings. All of it is silver. He’s dressed in loose fitting clothing that swamps his thin figure. He’s exceptionally beautiful, with thin, delicate features.

“You’re an omega, aren’t you?” Renjun asks and Ten pauses as he’s setting the saucers down on the table. Kun looks alarmed, eyes darting to Ten briefly. Ten only licks his lips before resuming his task, setting teacups down in saucers, pushing them to their respective person.

“Yes,” Ten finally says and Renjun leans back in his seat. “Yes, dear, I am.”

“That’s why you brought me here,” Renjun says, leaning towards Kun, hands on the edge of the table. “Why? What are you gaining by bringing me here?”

“Renjun, don’t be upset,” Kun says, reaching over for him. Renjun snatches his hands back, Kun frowning, looking hurt. “I just thought, you’ve been so worried. I thought it might help.”

“Please don’t be upset with Kun,” Ten says, picking up the whistling kettle. Renjun turns to look at him with big scared eyes. Ten pours them all tea measuredly, setting the kettle aside on his stove before sitting down with them. He turns to Renjun finally. “He came to me before you even moved here, he thought it would be nice for you to know that there are other people like you here. Me, Taeyong.”

“Do people know?” Renjun asks and Ten nods, hesitantly. “And what do people think of you?” He asks with a sharp conviction that says he already knows the answer. Ten looks away, tangling his fingers together in his lap. “Exactly. Kun, what were you thinking?”

“You don’t have to be afraid of this,” Kun insists. “Your presentation isn’t a death sentence, Renjun. Ten, please,” Kun pleads and Ten lifts his eyes nervously. “Please speak sense into him.”

“Kun, say what you will but you don’t understand,” Ten says and Kun deflates, eyes falling to his tea. Ten reaches over, resting on top of where Kun’s is resting on the table. He turns to Renjun then. “Renjun, you must be scared. I understand.”

“People can’t know,” Renjun says. “One person finds out and it spreads throughout the whole town. I’ll be shunned, forced out of the community. I don’t know how you and Taeyong do it.”

“We’re good people,” Ten says. “We’ve lived in this community for a long time and it’s never been a secret. We were birthed here, our presentations have never been a secret. We’re not appreciated but the church has yet to banish us. I can see why you might think they would do that to you, though,” Ten says and Renjun averts his eyes to his steaming tea. “You don’t have to tell people. It’s no one’s business really, what you are, even if you are quite beautiful.” Renjun flushes despite himself. “The only way to truly keep it a secret is to hide your face, I’m afraid your beauty is quite particular of that of a male presenting omega.”

“I’ve been told,” Renjun mutters, finally picking up his tea with shaky hands.

“If you tell people, we’ll stand by you. Taeyong, Kun and I. Your cousin Chenle as well, I presume. And Taeyong and I have many friends in the community, you shouldn’t fear this,” Ten tells him. “I understand why you might but Kun did the right thing bringing you here. You should know you’re not alone.”

Tea is still a tad awkward but it dissolves as they begin talking amongst themselves. Ten tells Renjun of his job, he’s a fortune teller. Surely that doesn’t make him a favorite of the church but people will go to him with troubles and he can ease their minds, their worries. Ten is a spiritual person, it’s why he and Taeyong keep the house so clean, clearing out the energies. Kun looks on with thinly veiled disbelief, being a man of a science, a doctor of all things.

“Well, I don’t remember telling you you had to come to my readings, do you?” Ten tells him and Kun only shakes his head at him, lifting Ten’s hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to the back of it. Ten tugs his hand away with a huff, making Kun laugh. “Don’t believe it but the mystic is all around us.”

“Our grandmother said the same thing,” Renjun comments and Ten gives him a gentle smile. “She was spiritual, more in the way of the church than anything but she believed. She told me I was made this way for a reason. She didn’t know the reason and she always said she doubted anyone ever would but God doesn’t make mistakes.”

“Your grandmother was wise,” Ten tells him. “If only she could’ve instilled the same belief into this one,” Ten says, giving Kun a very pointed look.

“Grandmother believed in the spirits, I believe in science. Your presentation is a genetic abnormality, but nonetheless very real. You’re not the only ones in the world like this, there are others,” Kun states clearly. “There should be no shame associated with one’s body. It is how science wills it, not a cosmic mistake.”

There’s something comforting about that too, Renjun thinks.

The leave not long after, Kun pressing a kiss to Ten’s cheek before he departs. Ten shoos him off, rolling his eyes but Kun hugs him tightly once more. Ten tells Renjun to come back whenever he’d like, if he’d like to talk or just someone to listen to him. Renjun promises before they leave.

“Ten,” Renjun said softly on their walk back to the main square.

“Mhm,” Kun hums.

“Are you… do you care for him, cousin?” Renjun asks, delicately. Kun sighs deeply and Renjun wonders if he crossed a line. Kun only nods, fixing his glasses, as is his nervous habit.

“I do,” Kun admits. “Very deeply.”

Renjun needs not to ask more questions. He already has the answer he’s looking for in the way Kun says it.

For an eventful first couple of days, the rest of the week passes by without incident. Renjun goes into town with Chenle every day, stops by some of the stalls to get small things, meets all of Chenle’s friends. Jisung is clearly the boy Chenle spends most of his time with but Renjun enjoys the others, Donghyuck, Jaemin, Jeno and Mark.

Mark is a bit shy around Renjun, has the same nervous habit as Kun, adjusting his big, circle lensed spectacles, but usually a nervous laugh is tacked onto the end. Donghyuck is kind of rude but he stutters over his words when Renjun is just as rude back and he realizes that’s just how Donghyuck is, a little rude and sharp but it’s fun, teasing him. Jaemin and Jeno are practically attached at the hip and take to doting on Renjun immediately, which Renjun still isn’t sure if he appreciates or not.

They’re a sweet group of boys and Renjun finds them absolutely delightful.

Kun introduces him to some of the other gentlemen in town. Doyoung works at the library, shelving books and chasing the boys out of his temple of solitude whenever they get too rowdy. Jaehyun and Guanheng also work at the tavern, Jaehyun as a second tender while Guanheng works tables. They get distracted by Johnny halfway through introductions and Kun has to shoo him away before he takes up too much of their attention.

Renjun finally meets Taeyong, as well as Taeil, both of them being farmhands for the Choi Farm out in the fields. Taeyong is Ten’s roommate and a fellow omega while Taeil’s a bright and cheery beta who doesn’t seem the least bit perturbed by working with Taeyong. It makes something hopeful plant itself in Renjun’s stomach.

Sicheng is the son of the peach orchard owner out on Dong Groves. Dejun and Yangyang are a couple of young boys who work out in the orchard with him, sometimes eating more peaches than they actually pick. Sicheng sends Renjun home with a small bundle of them, winking cutely when he tells him to enjoy them.

Renjun finds Xuxi to be an interesting character, the blacksmith’s apprentice who walks around constantly sporting soot marks and burns. He’s a tall and intimidating person if you don’t know him but the moment he smiles it all melts away. Renjun finds himself sharing lunches with Xuxi, the two of them speaking in hushed Mandarin for the entirety of his lunch until Junmyeon comes out to call Xuxi back to work.

“Jaehyun,” Johnny calls out, standing by the window. Jaehyun wanders over, looking out the window with his boss. He notices what Johnny is looking at immediately, Xuxi and that new boy, Renjun, sitting on a couple of boxes next to a shopping stall in the town square, across from the tavern. They’re an odd couple, Xuxi being so much taller and bulkier while Renjun seems to dwarf him in most every way.

“Yes, boss?” Jaehyun asks.

“Have you noticed anything about that new boy, Kun’s cousin?” Johnny asks and Jaehyun peers out again.

Renjun seems quite normal. He seems to be fitting in well as well, making friends with the boys in the grove, the rascals in town, sharing lunches with Xuxi. Jaehyun watches the way he speaks with Xuxi, book cradled in his lap while he nibbles on slices of peach.

“Can’t say I have,” Jaehyun admits. He looks at Johnny, who has a slight furrow in his brow. “What goes on in that head of yours?” Jaehyun asks. Johnny shakes himself, turning to look at Jaehyun, who is looking at him curiously.

“Nothing, just something about him, I suppose.”

“Well, you always have been a bit of a sucker for the pretty ones, haven’t you, boss?” Jaehyun inquires and Johnny’s eyes widen a bit. Jaehyun glances back over and Johnny’s eyes follow his gaze.

Renjun is beautiful. Abnormally so, so delicate and soft with rounded, tiny features. He looks so small, curled up on a box next to Xuxi. It almost makes Johnny think…

Nonsense.

“Hush you, before you start something,” Johnny tells him. “Go clean a table,” he instructs and Jaehyun laughs as he walks away, slinging his towel over his shoulder. Johnny spares them one last glance before walking away from the window himself.

Renjun doesn’t meet Jungwoo until Kun opens his practice back up, when Jungwoo flounces into the home, insisting how much he missed Kun for the long week the practice was closed. Kun looks exasperatedly fond as Jungwoo begins bustling around the lower floor of the home, Renjun sipping tea in the kitchen while Jungwoo picks up things just to straighten them up a bit and put them back.

“The boy thinks he’s my housekeeper or something,” Kun complains, pouring himself a cup of tea. “I swear I hired an assistant, I swear on it!”

“I can hear you, Kun!” Jungwoo shouts and Kun rolls his eyes as he takes a sip of his tea.

Renjun spends most of his afternoons that he’s not being dragged into town sitting out on Kun’s property, reading. He loves books, has always loved books and he still has his entire collection from his room back home. This is one he’s read a few times but it always makes his heart race, always brings tears to his eyes so he sits under one of the trees that dot Kun’s property with delightfully shady, low hanging branches, rereading words he’s loved so much.

“Is this what you do?” Ten comments, walking up the path. Renjun looks up in surprise, his face splitting into a grin to see Ten coming up to the house. “All the time in the world, a whole town down the road and you sit and read,” he continues as he steps up onto the grass, coming close to sit next to Renjun.

“I’m afraid I’m just not that exciting,” Renjun says and Ten bumps his shoulder into Renjun’s.

“What is it?” Ten asks, resting a hand on the ground on the other side of Renjun’s hips, Renjun tilting towards Ten to show him the book.

“It’s a romance novel,” Renjun admits and Ten almost chokes on his laughter. Renjun shoved him away, Ten falling over into the grass. “Shut up! It’s very good!”

“What garbage,” Ten says and Renjun huffs but isn’t offended. He knows it’s a silly thing to like, romance novels. They’re all about strapping male alphas coming in and sweeping female omegas off their feet, ostentatious displays of strength and cunning while the woman is left to moan and cry of her circumstance. They’re silly and Renjun knows it, he just… he loves them.

He’s always been a bit of a hopeless romantic, wishing without hope that someone, anyone, might show up and sweep him off his feet. Spending long days in a countryside estate with nothing but your imagination has been known to do that to people, make their fantasies run a little wild.

“Oh, I know,” Renjun sighs, setting his book aside. “What can I say, I like rubbish sometimes,” he says and Ten snorts. “What about you, though? What’re you doing out here?”

“I have an appointment with Kun,” Ten says and Renjun nods. “I’ve been getting headaches something awful lately. My usual way of dealing with things isn’t working, so mysticism be damned, I’m going to a doctor.” It’s Renjun’s turn to snort this time. “I just hope Kun won’t mind, I haven’t much to pay him for his services.”

“For you? Kun would do anything,” Renjun says and Ten looks towards the house, a bit wistful. “You care for him, don’t you?”

“Terribly,” Ten says and he sounds so sad it makes Renjun’s heart ache. “But you know how these things go. No chance in hell, not for the two of us. The town tolerates me but to settle down, to use my body for its intended purpose, raise a family… well that might just be the last straw.” He sounds unbelievably sad about it. “And to bring Kun into that… I couldn’t live with myself.”

“Kun adores you, you see that, don’t you?” Renjun suggests and Ten nods.

“And I do him. That is why I do not push my luck.” Ten stands then, brushing himself off. “Best not keep him waiting. Enjoy your rubbish, Renjun,” Ten says, and Renjun swats at Ten’s leg as he huffs a laugh, heading up to the house.

Renjun gets used to the change in his life, the pace of people coming in and out of the house, greeting guests, Kun’s patients, before heading out for the day, as he comes in for the evening. Kun never takes patients past sunset, unless it is truly an emergency and for that Renjun is grateful. Renjun doesn’t make a habit of walking around the home not properly dressed but he can admit to darting to the kitchen in the dead of night for a quick tea when he can’t sleep.

The only problem with this old house, however, is that the bathtub on the third floor is much too far for Renjun to be carrying buckets of water up to on his own. He warms his water in the kitchen and, with Kun and Chenle’s blessing, uses the second floor bathroom to do his scrubbing up. It’s still a bit of a hassle but he manages just fine, sinking into the porcelain tub as soon as he manages to fill it comfortably with hot water.

He soaks for what must be an absolutely unimaginable amount of time, until the water cools down, room temperature. He’s hesitant to climb out of the bath, baths always being his favorite place to just exist. To just be a person, in the solitude of the tub, the water and his own body. Washing down is almost a religious experience to him, to remember the intricacies of his body, remember that he must love it, not fear it, not hate it.

When he does get out he wraps his towel tightly around himself, planning to head up to his room to dress. It’s not very far and when he steps out of the bathroom the sudden chill of the house makes his skin break out in goosebumps.

That’s when he hears it, the sound of footsteps on the stairs. He looks over, half expecting Chenle or Kun to be making their way up, ask him if he’s okay considering how long he’s been missing in the bathroom but gasps in surprise when he realizes it’s neither of them.

It’s Johnny. Why he would be up here Renjun doesn’t know and Renjun all but throws himself in the bathroom, locking the door behind him, back pressed up against the door. He can hear Johnny walking closer through the thin wood and he almost holds his breath as though Johnny is a wild animal stalking his prey.

“Excuse me?” He says, knocking on the door. Renjun squeezes his eyes shut. “Is someone in here?”

“Uh,” Renjun clears his throat, suddenly dry. “Yes. I’m just washing up. If you could give me a few moments?”

“Oh, I’m so sorry, Renjun.” He knows it’s him. “Please take your time.”

Renjun doesn’t hear Johnny move for a long moment and then footsteps, walking away from the door. Renjun breaths a deep breath, relaxing against the door. The footsteps continue for a while until they disappear, Renjun straining to hear more. He doesn’t so he figures it’s safe.

He darts out of the bathroom and down the hall, running up the stairs to his bedroom.

He doesn’t notice Johnny still on the stairs, most of the way down but still able to see the second floor landing. He glances when he hears the door open, Renjun slipping from the bathroom and running down the hall, only to disappear up the third floor stairs. His eyes linger on the length of Renjun’s legs, slim and pretty and pale, the way the towel curves over his backside.

He averts his eyes quickly, shaking his head.

He tells Kun that Renjun was in the bathroom, Kun apologizing for the inconvenience, their first floor bathroom having sprung a leak overnight. Johnny brushes him off, though he can’t get the image of Renjun in just his towel out of his head.

“I heard a very interesting piece of gossip from the old bitties by the library the other day,” Doyoung says over his ale. Yuta and Jaehyun both boo, throwing their towels at him. Doyoung squawks indignantly, shoving their towels off of him as they land on his arms and shoulders. Johnny rolls his eyes, passing another glass of ale down to them, Sicheng sitting next to Jaehyun on the outside of the bar, before joining them.

It’s well past closing but Johnny always entertains a few of the other men in town at these hours. They’ve got nothing better to do and without a missus at home they have nothing stopping them from staying out. Johnny likes these conversations anyway, catching up with the boys over glasses of ale and a bit of gossip from the old bitties in town.

“You must know they all speak without tongues,” Sicheng comments and Yuta snorts into his drink. “Not worth your time, Doie.”

“Just curious bits, I thought,” Doyoung insists, fingers tapping against the side of his glass. “Thought you might find this bit of gossip particularly interesting, Johnny.” Johnny lifts a brow at him. “Given your… persuasion.”

“Must we every time we get together?” Johnny complains and they all dissolve into laughter. “It's not a necessary comment to make! Imagine what might happen if one of the bitties heard that, or worse, the church.”

“The church would sooner cut off their own hands than make the effort to shun anyone,” Yuta tells him. “It’s not worth the time. And you? The community would laugh them all out of town. They know about Taeyong and Ten and yet… nothing.” Yuta lifts a brow and as well as his drink. “Not a worthwhile panic there, Johnny boy.”

“I’d appreciate it if we stopped mentioning it though. It’s not a public post, you know?” Yuta lifts a hand in surrender as he takes a drink, Doyoung looking at him gently.

“Then you have nothing to worry about. I just happened to overhear one of the ladies by the library mention that new boy in town, you know the one, Kun’s cousin?” Doyoung says and Johnny tilts his head at him. “Rumor has it he’s not all there, between his legs.”

“That’s crass, even for you, Doyoung,” Jaehyun says and Doyoung shrugs his shoulders, taking a drink of his ale. “And also wildly unfounded. He’s still young. Chances are no one’s even gotten him between the sheets, what would they know about it?”

“Apparently the Qians are well known in the area,” Doyoung explains. “Born and raised in town. The son settled down, had a family, Kun and Chenle are from his lot but the daughter went missing. Gossip says she settled down but when she had the baby she ran off, settled out countryside, though no one knows for sure. Not a lot of reasons one would skip town like that,” Doyoung points out.

“Trash,” Sicheng says. “It’s all speculation. And even if it is true, so what? Ten and Taeyong are lovely people. Are we really going to judge people based on what’s between their legs?” He suggests, lifting a brow at them.

“I never said that,” Doyoung defends. “I’m just relaying what I heard. You lot always want to know what gets said outside my library, this was the word of the day.”

“Let’s hope it’s just the day,” Johnny says. “The kid’s been in town only a few weeks. No reason to try and run him out already.”

“Seems sweet,” Jaehyun says softly, swirling his ale around in his glass. “Spends a lot of time with the other boys, seen him out and about with Ten, Xuxi. Be a real shame to see a bunch of baseless rumors chase him out of town.”

“Then I’m glad I said something,” Doyoung tells them. “This tavern keeps all the rumors. Maybe you lot can stop it before it starts.”

Johnny tries not to give that rumor much thought, lets it enter and exit his brain as quickly as it comes. It is baseless conjecture and, ultimately, doesn’t mean a thing. The bitties down by the library do talk without tongues, that’s one thing Sicheng always gets right, so Johnny doesn’t put much stock into what they say. Never has and doesn’t intend to.

But his eyes linger over Renjun when he comes in with the boys in town, tumbling into a booth with Jeno and Mark on either side. Jeno clings to him like a second skin and Johnny can’t help the way his eyes roam over Renjun’s features.

He’s so beautiful. He told Kun and Renjun that he was handsome but that’s not quite the right word. Renjun is pretty beyond belief, so beautiful with his button nose and pink lips and almond eyes. His cheeks are adorably round and when he smiles Johnny’s heart jumps in his chest. Renjun is gorgeous, beyond traditional standards.

Renjun being a male presenting omega wouldn’t surprise Johnny at all. From his thin, shorter stature to his features, he has the makings. And it makes Johnny wonder if he has intentions of mating if he is. Would he want that? Would he be interested in settling down, finding a beta or an alpha to start a family with?

It would be almost impossible to do so in town, the very idea that he would do so hard to imagine. The church is lenient with them but they have a low threshold for nonsense. A male presenting omega going out of his way, settling down, having a family where the church can see, can intervene, it’s just not possible. At best he would be chased out of town, at worse… Johnny loathes to imagine.

But he’s at the right age. Just past 20, Kun had said, a year older than Chenle. If he plans on mating, making a family, this is his window. It begins now. Johnny missed his.

He’s not too terribly old but he’s a tad beyond his prime at 25. It’s a narrow window, settling down, having a family. It’s one thing Johnny regrets, not having a chance to start a family. He still thinks about it, the idea of it. He wants that chance but he’s also grown to accept that it may not happen for him. It’s just… too late for him.

Renjun looks very cute next to Jeno and Jeno would make a great husband, broad and strong and sweet, a perfect beta. Johnny breaths a soft sigh. Yes, Jeno and Renjun would make a lovely couple.

Renjun turns his head then and their eyes meet. Renjun looks surprised to see Johnny already looking and Johnny only offering him a slight smile before looking away. Renjun lowers his eyes then, hands in his lap and looks up only when Jaemin tries to get his attention.

Johnny notices Renjun a lot more often from then on. Renjun wandering around town with his younger cousin, stopping by the shopping stalls to buy fresh produce. When he closes up the shop at night and retires to his home on the second floor, a tiny little flat above his tavern, his eyes gravitate to the window, where he can see Kun’s estate just across the river, some of the lights still on. His eyes always find the third floor window, watching until the light goes out.

It’s late, very late, and yet Renjun is out of bed. He’s outside, walking along the river. It’s a cool evening, and he’s only in his trousers and nightshirt, boots laced up haphazardly. He’s not quite sure why he can’t sleep, he passes it off as homesickness, the town still not feeling like home. Still a little too busy, a little too much and he’s far past the bridge now, though he can still see it, and the glow of the town across the river.

It’s quiet out here, just the sound of the water, the hush of the summer grass in the wind. He sits down next to the bank, looking up at the stars. They make him feel a little closer to home, still able to see the constellations he memorized when he was young, his mother showing him all the ways the stars made pictures in the sky.

“Can’t sleep?” Someone asks and Renjun starts, looking around. He spots the figure a little ways away from him. It’s dark and he can barely make them out, but they’re tall and broad and Renjun feels like he already knows who this is.

“Johnny,” he states and Johnny hums as he gets closer.

The moon is the only light and when he’s close enough Renjun can make out Johnny’s features, softly downturned eyes, slightly upturned nose, plush, pink lips. He settles down next to Renjun in the grass, the two of them sitting down by the river at a time completely uncertain.

“You didn’t answer my question,” Johnny whispers, almost lost in the babble of the river and hush of the grass.

“No, I couldn’t sleep,” Renjun says. “I’ve been having that problem lately.”

“Have you asked Kun about it?” Johnny asks but Renjun only smiles in a rueful manner, shaking his head.

“Just homesickness,” Renjun says and Johnny ‘ahh’s softly. “It’s just… not home yet, y’know?” He says and Johnny nods.

“I can understand that.”

They fall silent, listening to the meadow breath around them. Water rushing, sweet summer grass swishing against one another. There’s something comforting about Johnny being out here with him, his presence so warm and gentle. Renjun looks at him from the corner of his eye, Johnny leaning back on his hands, looking up at the sky.

“What about you?” Renjun asks.

“Hm?” Johnny hums. “Well, I have insomnia. Kun tells me it’s just sleeplessness. He says it’s stress,” Johnny says, a little breathless laugh tacked on the end. “We’ve tried everything. Foods, drinks, stretches, it doesn’t work. I guess I just don’t sleep.”

“Isn’t that hard?” Renjun asks.

“Not so bad. I’ve grown used to it.”

Silence overtakes them again and it feels safe. Renjun feels safe and warm out here, with Johnny. Johnny doesn’t push to ask for more, tells him the truth of his struggles and Renjun appreciates that. He’s only known Johnny for a short while but he trusts him. He knows this may be a mistake but the weight on his shoulders feels so heavy. His secret eats at his insides and it’s not enough to tell Ten, to tell Taeyong who already knows what it’s like.

“Johnny.” Johnny hums in reply. “I’m an omega.”

Silence.

“I know,” he says and it petrifies Renjun for a moment. “I know you are. You’re too beautiful, Renjun. You give yourself away.” Renjun closes his eyes briefly. “I’m attracted to men.” Renjun’s eyes shoot open and he looks at Johnny, just to see him already looking at him. “Now we have each other’s secrets.”

“You-”

“I am. I’ve always been attracted to men. I used to see Taeyong, in secret. Some of my friends caught me, but they’re the only ones who know. I assume only Kun, Ten, Taeyong and Chenle know about you?” Renjun nods hesitantly. “I’ll keep yours if you keep mine.”

“Okay,” Renjun agrees. Johnny shifts to offer his hand. Renjun looks at it for a moment before leaning over and pressing his lips to Johnny’s. Johnny goes still for a moment before lifting his free hand to cradle the back of Renjun’s head. Renjun pulls back with a little smile. “Sealed with a kiss.”

“Deal.”

Things don’t change for Renjun. He still frequents the market, buying things at the stalls, sharing lunches with Xuxi, plays with the rascal boys in town at the park. He spends late afternoons reading under trees until the light dies beyond sight. Kun takes him to dinner at the tavern sometimes and Johnny drops by to pick on Kun, poking fun at Renjun but it’s not different.

Johnny, however, finds that he thinks about Renjun far more than he should.

His mind wanders to Renjun when he’s doing mundane tasks, at work, around his apartment. Sometimes they even follow him to bed and those are the worst. He wills them away, turning over in bed and finds that it’s not just his insomnia keeping him awake.

He sees Renjun at all hours, it feels like, spots Renjun having lunch with Xuxi in the square, running around with the boys in the park. His heart stops in his chest when Jaemin tackles Renjun to the ground once, and pins him down with hands on his wrists. He has to look away, panic crawling up his throat, because he doesn’t want to imagine Renjun like that. He can’t imagine Renjun like that.

When Renjun comes in with the others, sometimes he greets Johnny softly and it makes his heart beat double time in his chest. His hands shake when Renjun gets too close, clearly not understanding what he’s doing to him. It drives him crazy, to see and not have. To have to keep this closed, this a secret.

He thinks about Renjun kissing him all the time. The press of Renjun’s pretty pink lips against his own haunts his dreams and he wakes up gasping for breath and hard more times than he can count just from a press of lips. He feels like a child, like a confused young boy and he wishes, desperately, that he could turn this off.

His careful self restraint, the thing he’s worked so hard to keep in hand, in control of all his life, it breaks when Renjun shows up past closing. He looks as though he’s not slept, dressed down and holding himself on Johnny’s front stoop. No one else is in, Yuta and Jaehyun and Guanheng already having gone home, so Johnny lets him in and makes them both tea.

“Can’t sleep?” Johnny asks, pouring them both cups.

“No,” Renjun says shortly and doesn’t elaborate this time. Johnny only hums, sets the kettle aside and sits down with him. Renjun’s hands are shaking when he picks up his cup, taking a careful sip. He sets the cup down clumsily and Johnny reaches out then, holding onto both of Renjun’s hands. Renjun looks up at him, panic forming in his eyes.

“You’re shaking,” Johnny comments softly. “Why are you shaking, darling?”

“Why would you call me that?” Renjun asks and Johnny tilts his head. “Darling? Why did you call me that?”

“Do you not want me to?”

“I-” Renjun looks at a loss. Johnny holds onto his hands more firmly.

“Why are you shaking?” Johnny asks, this time without the endearment. Renjun looks away from him, eyes averted to the floor. “Renjun, what’s wrong?”

“Johnny, I can’t sleep,” he says. “I haven’t slept in days. I keep-” he breathes a shaky breath. “I keep thinking of you.”

“What about me?”

“I can’t say it,” Renjun mutters. “Don’t make me say it,” He says and Johnny knows. He knows what keeps Renjun up because it keeps him up. Because as normal as Renjun always acted, always seemed to be, he hasn’t been okay. He’s been having thoughts that are tearing him up inside, shameful things. Things that he’s always been told not to desire, that he can’t have, that aren’t his to want. And that eats Johnny up.

Johnny knows shame. He knows shame to want. To desire things he shouldn’t but this is unlike anything at all. The shame Renjun must feel, to be taught that he cannot want anything. That should he indulge, he is wrong, he is wicked and his body is not his to enjoy. His body is not his to share, is not meant to be used for that which it is built.

Johnny gets up and falls to his knees next to Renjun’s chair. He tugs Renjun’s hands close to him, Renjun’s eyes glistening with unshed tears.

“Say it, darling,” Johnny whispers, lowering his mouth to Renjun’s hands, pressing kisses to the knuckles of his hands. “Please tell me. You can say it, my dear. You can tell me anything.”

“I-” his voice breaks and Johnny looks up to see tears dripping down Renjun’s cheeks. “I can’t. I can’t want you. I can’t have this.”

“You can,” Johnny assures him. “You have whatever you want from me, darling. You can have it all. All you have to do is ask. I’ll give you anything.”

And he means it. He wants to. He wants to treat Renjun like the prince he is, the perfect untouchable thing Johnny knows he is. He wants to give Renjun his whole life if he asks, Johnny would throw himself at this perfect boy’s feet if only he asked. He kneels before him because Renjun is his church, his judge, jury and executioner. He feels delirious with how willing he would be to give Renjun the world if only he asked.

“I keep-” he hesitates, swallowing roughly. “I keep thinking about you. I keep thinking about you and me. You, kissing me. Your hands, your- God,” he cuts himself off, looking to the ceiling, tears dripping down his cheeks. “Johnny, please, I think about you all the time. I think about giving myself to you.”

“How?”

“Johnny,” Renjun cries. “Any way. However you want me.”

“How do you want me to have you?”

“I-” he looks down at Johnny and Johnny feels hysteric, this beautiful perfect boy right here in front of him, so darling and precious. He just wants Renjun to say it. To be able to tell Johnny the truth. Because this matters, the fact that he can say it. That he can admit to his desires. It might just be the start to taking away Renjun’s shame.

“I want you to have my body. I want you to take me, all of me.” Renjun grips tighter to Johnny’s hands, takes a deep shuddering breath and says, “Johnny, will you make love to me?”

Johnny surges up then, cradling Renjun’s face in his hands, kissing him hard on the mouth. Renjun whimpers into his lips, Johnny bent over him. Renjun’s hands tangle in his shirt, windows be damned. This whole town be damned. He doesn’t care who sees, he wants people to see. He wants everyone to know that this is his.

Renjun is his.

Johnny leads Renjun up to his apartment above the tavern and the door only just closes before Renjun is on him, kissing him hard. It’s a beautiful thing, the way Renjun kisses him like a man starved, desperate for him. Johnny grips him by the hips, all but carrying him to his bedroom, laying Renjun out on his sheets. He plans to worship him. He plans to give him everything he could ever want and then some.

Here, laid out on Johnny’s bed, naked and peering up at him from under his lashes, Johnny couldn’t imagine Renjun to be sinful. He can’t imagine anyone looking at him, so beautifully spread out and open and waiting for Johnny to touch him, and thinking he was wrong. Thinking he was shameful, or dirty, or wicked. Johnny looks across the expanse of honey gold skin that Renjun has on display for him, nestled in his white sheets, sandy blond hair spread out across his pillow like a halo and is pretty sure there is no other term for this other than holy.

Though he’s graced with the most pleasing display of skin before him, Johnny reaches for his ankle first, his hand sliding up the inside of his leg, over his calf, the back of his knee, gently gripping his thigh to lift his leg over his shoulder. Renjun blushes sweetly, a gentle pink bursting over his cheeks as he turns his head, shy at the prospect of suddenly being exposed. But he doesn’t stop Johnny, lets him lift his leg until his knee is curled over his shoulder, heel resting just under his shoulder blade.

“So beautiful,” Johnny whispers, voice awestruck as he turns to kiss the side of Renjun’s knee, the hand previously gripping his thigh sliding further up his body to touch his hip, his waist, count his ribs with gentle fingertips.

“One day, you will think of a new word to call me,” Renjun replies, breathless as he smiles at Johnny, small and knowing.

“Gorgeous. Stunning. Ethereal,” Johnny replies, kissing his way up Renjun’s thigh. Renjun makes a soft noise in the back of his throat, not quite a moan but more than a whimper. Johnny lets his free hand find the inside of Renjun’s other thigh, splaying it high on his leg, thumb rubbing where his thigh meets his hip.

Just a few centimeters off of where Johnny really wanted to touch.

“I’m afraid that’s not the general consensus,” Renjun retorts, turning his head away again.

“Have you considered,” Johnny begins, hand beginning to wander down his thigh. “That they judge because they’re afraid.” Johnny lets his fingers walk back up the inside of his thigh. Carefully and oh-so-gently, Johnny cups his hand over the entirety of Renjun’s pretty pink sex, just to feel the heat of it. He’s already wet, slick rubbing off on the palm of Johnny’s hand. “That they might find you… too tempting.”

“They find me disgusting,” Renjun answers easily, though his voice breaks as he says it. “I’m abnormal. I’m not meant to be made like this.”

“Then why would the heavens create you?” Johnny asks, lifting his eyes to gauge Renjun’s reaction. He looks at Johnny, intently. “Why would you exist in this manner if you were not meant to?” He pulls his hand back only to run a single finger through his folds, gathering slick on his fingertip. Renjun whines, high in his throat, as Johnny touches him. “You exist because they willed it. You are not wrong for existing.”

“Then why do they hate me so?”

“Because they don’t understand.” Renjun is quite wet already and Johnny bites his lower lip, trying to think of anything other than tasting him. One finger becomes two and he drags his fingers up through his folds again, touching that singular bundle of nerves. Renjun jerks with the sensation, Johnny gently pressing down and stroking it in tight, soft circles. “People reject the unfamiliar. It makes them uncomfortable.”

“You-” Renjun gasps softly, squirming a bit in Johnny’s bed. “You don’t?”

“No.” His attention is focused solely on touching Renjun now, the way he’s leaking slick incessantly, lips and entrance all shiny with it. “I think you’re one of the most incredible things I’ve ever seen.”

“Just a thing?” Renjun asks, breathless.

“No, dear, far more than that,” Johnny insists. He lifts his eyes to meet Renjun’s, Renjun’s beautiful brown eyes watching him as he lowers himself to the bed. Johnny pulls his fingers away for a moment, only to press a single digit into him. His finger sinks into Renjun easily, already so wet and loose for him, Johnny can’t take his eyes away. Renjun moans, arching his back.

“More,” Renjun whines. “Please, more.”

“How much more?”

“All of it,” Renjun sighed. “I want all of it. All of you.”

Johnny makes quick work of his clothes, his apartment already strewn with Renjun’s. Renjun looks a sight in his sheets and Johnny can’t help himself, covering Renjun’s body with his own, kissing him again. Renjun kisses him back, wrapping his arms around Johnny’s neck to hold him close. This is it, all he’s wanted, all he’s thought of for days on end, the very idea of Renjun in his bed. His hips press down against Renjun’s and the noise Renjun makes at the press of Johnny’s hard cock against his skin is both heavenly and downright sinful.

And Johnny wants.

He leans back to line up, then back over Renjun’s body, pressing open-mouthed kisses to his neck, his jaw, his chest, Renjun’s arms thrown around his neck while Johnny eases himself inside of him. Renjun makes the most brilliant aborted little whimpering noises in the back of his throat as he does so, Johnny’s cock slowly and carefully stretching him open.

Sheathed entirely in Renjun’s tight heat, Johnny pulls back to look at him. Renjun’s eyes are glassy with arousal, pretty pink lips parted as he pants softly. Renjun looks like a vision, and all for him. Just his to have in this moment.

His eyes wander further down Renjun’s body, his hands fitting perfectly into the curve of his waist, Renjun’s legs bracketing his own hips. He pulls away to look, Renjun’s arms slipping away until only his hands are resting on Johnny’s shoulders. Johnny looks to where he’s buried in Renjun’s body, pulling back a little just to watch himself as he thrusts up into Renjun’s body. Renjun moans softly at the movement, head tipping back on his pillow.

Renjun is beautiful, this is absolutely certain, but Johnny can’t get enough of looking at Renjun like this. He’s gorgeous beyond comparison in Johnny’s bed, sweat beading along his hairline, eyes fluttering closed as Johnny starts pushing into him faster, more purposefully, his fingers digging into Johnny’s shoulders while Johnny grips his waist so hard he can’t be sure he isn’t leaving bruises. Johnny leans bodily over him to kiss him again, circling his hips as he thrusts up, Renjun choking a noise as Johnny bites gently at his throat.

“Johnny,” Renjun breathes.

“Yes, lovely,” Johnny replies, kissing up his throat.

“Johnny, fuck,” he curses, and Johnny knows it isn’t so much to get his attention as it is just him saying things. But hearing him say his name, voice thick with pleasure and want, it makes heat burst in his stomach, tighten up the muscles of his abdomen and he wants to know more.

He wants to know what Renjun would sound like on top of him, taking him in his lap. What noises he would make if Johnny buried his face between his thighs until he fell apart on his tongue. Is desperate to find out if Renjun would sound half as beautiful if Johnny bent him over his bed and took him from behind. He needs to know what gorgeous moans Renjun will make when he falls apart for him.

This is reason enough for him to double his efforts, sit more firmly back on his knees where he’s knelt between Renjun’s spread legs and thrust into him harder, faster. Renjun moans are so loud they’re almost shouts, body arching up off of Johnny’s sheets. Johnny spares a thought for what people would think if his tavern was full below them, feels a little hot with the knowledge of other people knowing that he’s the one making Renjun feel this good.

Johnny lets his hand wander down between Renjun’s legs, pushing himself all the way inside as his fingers gather the wetness leaking from Renjun’s body, over his own cock. He drags his fingers over Renjun’s spread lips, touching where Renjun is stretched around his cock, before finding his clit again. Renjun jumps with the sensation, Johnny pressing down to rub tight circles over it, slowing his thrusts, letting his cock drag over Renjun’s walls, both of them already so sensitive and close to orgasm.

“Johnny, please,” Renjun begs, voice broken. His fingers are tangled in the bedsheets, having fallen from Johnny’s shoulders when Johnny moved backward, body arching up.

“It’s okay, love. You can let go,” he tells him and it seems to be all Renjun was waiting for, body seizing up as he falls apart under Johnny, cunt spasming around Johnny’s cock. Johnny moans, low and broken, at the feeling of Renjun’s body tightening up around him, pushing into him only a couple more times, still stroking over Renjun’s clit until he’s coming too. Renjun moans softly, Johnny’s name escaping him breathlessly as his walls continue to flutter, as though trying to milk Johnny’s orgasm out of him, cock throbbing as he empties himself inside of Renjun.

“Renjun,” Johnny groans, unable to look away from where he’s still inside of Renjun. He goes to pull out, only for Renjun to wrap his legs around his waist. Johnny looks up to see Renjun looking at him with a little smile, tired and sated, relaxing back in his sheets.

“Don’t pull out,” he says. “Stay.”

“And if you end up pregnant?” Johnny asks, shifting to lean over his body again, Renjun’s legs keeping his hips trapped against his own. Renjun wraps his arms around his shoulders, tugging him down to kiss him on the lips. Their lips are chapped and saliva sticky from all their mouth breathing during sex but neither of them mind. When Renjun pulls back, he presses an additional kiss to Johnny’s cheek.

“Then so be it,” he mutters, mouth close to Johnny’s ear. “It would be an honor to bear your children, Johnny.”

“Should I go looking for a ring?” He half-jokes, moving to kiss Renjun’s neck and throat. They’re still sticky with Renjun’s slick and their combined ejaculate but Johnny doesn’t attempt to pull out again. The very idea of Renjun, swollen and round with his children, it makes something warm and wonderful take up residence in his chest.

“Are you proposing to me, Johnny?” Renjun quips.

“You’re the one who’s offering to carry my children,” Johnny reminds him, sucking a mark under Renjun’s ear. Renjun squirms a little, Johnny gasping softly at the way it feels, Renjun still wrapped tightly around his cock.

“Don’t you want me to?” He asks and Johnny hums against his throat. This time he lets his hand slide over Renjun’s stomach, his pretty flat stomach, down to the slight swell of his lower stomach, resting his hand where he knows his womb is. Lets himself think about Renjun like that, full and round and radiant.

Johnny’s always wanted kids. A family. It’s a well-known fact around town that Johnny craves that, wants to settle down. It just never happened for him while he was in his prime, a little younger than he is now. It’s a dream, the idea that Renjun wants this, wants him. Renjun’s at the age to settle down, to marry, have kids and Johnny wants that.

It’s not practical, the idea that Renjun might end up pregnant with his kids. They can’t raise them here, Renjun can’t be pregnant in this town, where people can see him, can know what he is. It’s not an option but Johnny takes this moment to fantasize about it. The idea of Renjun’s stomach, swollen and round, a pretty little baby bump with Johnny’s kids inside. God, he wants that. He really, really does.

“I do,” Johnny whispers, “I really do.” He lifts his eyes again and Renjun’s looking at him softly, so softly it makes Johnny ache. “But you know we can’t.”

“One day,” Renjun says, leaning up to kiss him. Johnny kisses him back, begins to silently pray that they can have this one moment. They can make this one mistake and make it out unscathed just so they can try again later. So they can have everything they want at a later date, when it’s safe.

“One day, I promise I’ll give you kids,” Johnny whispers his promise into Renjun’s lips. “I don’t care how many times I have to do this, I’ll give you kids, baby. Just like you want.”

“I’m counting on it.”