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Niall literally bumps into Harry the first time they meet each other. He’s late for his introductory sound engineering course and curse his bad decision making skills—but in his defence, filling his empty stomach is more important than being on time. There’s a half-eaten breakfast sandwich clenched between his teeth and hot chocolate in his hand and there is no way that he can stop himself from go falling down to the ground over top of this bloke.
“Oh my god, I am so sorry!” a deep baritone apologises from underneath him. Niall looks down into green eyes. They belong to a handsome guy with dark brown curls that are grown out to around shoulder length and it works for him, really. “I wasn’t watching where I was going and, well,” he gestures at their current, awkward position. Niall’s still got the sandwich between his teeth and thankfully, he didn’t spill his drink all over this dude.
“Half of this is my fault too,” Niall says, holding the sandwich in his free hand. He puts the sandwich back in his mouth and stands up. He holds out a hand for the brunet to grab onto and helps him up.
“I’m Harry, you?” Harry shakes the hand that he is holding.
“Niall,” he mumbles around the mouthful. He takes his hand back and tries again. “Niall, and late to my next lecture.”
Harry grimaces. “Oh, sorry. Hey, um this is crazy but wanna hang out some time?”
Niall nods. “Yeah sure.” He accepts Harry’s mobile and puts in his number. “Shite, I really am late now. Hope the prof hasn’t started the new topic yet. Bye!”
-
Niall doesn’t see Harry for another two weeks but they text each other constantly. Harry is very cheeky and likeable, and Niall likes that. They are talking on the phone when Harry suggests that they get out of this town. They’ve got a long weekend coming up and Harry wants to drive out of the city, away from the crowds and just have some fun.
“You know,” Harry says cheerily, “celebrating surviving the first round of midterms. My friend owns this cabin by the lake two hours north and it’ll be perfect.”
“Just the two of us?” Niall clarifies. It’s moving too fast but whatever. Niall knows that he is attracted to Harry in that way and if this entails a sex marathon for the weekend, he doesn’t mind.
“Yeah, is that so weird?” Harry sounds sheepish. “I can invited some other people if this bothers you.”
Oh, not at all, Niall thinks deviously. “You’re so bad, but you’re lucky you do it so well.” If this takes him down, he doesn’t mind.
-
“No one has to know what we do,” Niall reassures Harry.
They are both half-naked, cheeks flushed as they kneel on the centre of the bed. His hands are tangled in Harry’s wild curls and clothes are strewn all over the floor. They did the romantic stuff like candle-lit dinner and star-gazing last night. Niall was right, Harry was exactly his type and pretty much the perfect boyfriend material. Harry was also shy at times but that was just endearing.
“That’s not what I’m worried about. I don’t want this to be a one-time thing.”
“Of course not. I don’t generally sleep with guys on the second night but you’re something special, you know? I want you, and I promise you that it’s just not teenage hormones.”
Harry nods. “Okay.” He looks like he wants to say something but presses his lips to a firm line instead.
Niall kisses him on the nose before veering to the side and kissing down his neck. With each kiss along the side of his neck, Harry’s breaths hitch and a soft moan escapes his lips. When Niall reaches the chest, he latches on to one of the nipples with his teeth and nibbles lightly, garnering a soft cry from Harry. He sucks on it harshly and plays with the other one. Harry is so damn sensitive and responsive, and each reaction goes straight down to Niall’s semi.
“Don’t be a tease,” Harry chides, eyes glazed over with how turned-on he is.
“You’re cute when you’re desperate,” Niall smirks, swiping his tongue over one nipple in a slow, long lick.
Chucking quietly, Niall dips his head down and presses sucking kisses down the length of Harry’s torso. He continues showering kisses down Harry’s body, purposefully missing the one spot where Harry wants to be touched the most.
“Niall . . .” Harry groans as Niall’s teeth nip at the inner flesh of his thighs.
“What’s the magic word?”
“Please?” Harry pleads. Niall looks up and is met with the most heart-breaking and sexy face he had ever seen on a guy.
“Okay.”
Next morning, Niall wakes up, still wrapped up in the afterglow. The feelings in his chest swell up when he looks down and sees Harry’s head resting over top of where his heart would be. Last night was something different, nothing like Niall’s usual one-offs or whatever. Harry is what’s different and Niall wants to keep that. Harry’s body is mottled with various love bites and finger-shaped bruises even though Niall doesn’t remember being particularly rough.
Harry stirs in his sleep and scrunches his nose like a baby kitten. Niall smiles at the adorable display and crosses his arms over Harry’s bare back. Niall tilts his head down to kiss the top of Harry’s sleep-mussed curls and goes back to sleep.
-
“What’s the difference between a regular royal gala apple and an extra fancy one anyway?” Harry asks no one in particular as he stares at the stand full of apples.
Niall shrugs. He picks up a baggie of whatever gala apples and puts it in the trolley. It’s already nearly full of unhealthy food typical for a uni student despite Harry’s best efforts.
They’ve been living together for a few weeks now, Harry having moved out of his decrepit flat so that he could live in Niall’s studio apartment half an hour from the campus. At first, Harry had been adverse to the idea, saying that living together was more complicated and just cohabiting the same home. But Niall won him over with charming words and home-cooked dinner dates (followed by mind-blowing ‘dessert’ afterwards).
“Alrighty,” Harry says. He checks the grocery list. “Whole wheat or the chia seed one?”
Niall shrugs again. “Like I give a shit. Whichever is healthier, your majesty,” Niall bows lightly, joking.
Harry glowers. “I don’t know how you survived on instant noodles and barely any fruits and vegetables before I came along. You’re lucky my mum was always a health freak and I’m passing on her knowledge unto you.”
“Aww, you’re the best, babe,” Niall coos and then kisses Harry’s cheek sloppily.
After they buy everything on the list plus some junk food and Niall insisted on buying (“It’s healthy to eat unhealthy foods in moderation!”), they go to the small little café across the street from the grocery store. It’s called Tommo’s Café, owned by Louis Tomlinson, who is a graduate student at the uni that Harry and Niall go to. Niall is friends with Zayn, fellow engineering student, who started dating Louis a few months back. So he is friends with Louis by default and it turns out that Harry is also mates with Louis. Louis smiles widely when he sees Harry and Niall walking in and starts making their orders.
“Hey, you lovebirds,” he greets them with a sly wink. “Been all properly domestic, I see.”
Niall scoffs. “Stop spying on people across the street, Lou. It’s creepy and not the best hobby to have.”
Zayn comes out from the back, covered in flour and frowns in confusion. “What’s not the best hobby to have?”
“Spying on people,” Harry chimes in. “I still remember the time Lou used to spy on our neighbour Liam with these binoculars. Got really awkward when we found out that he likes to stay naked after taking shower, not that Lou minded. When I met Liam in one of my lectures last year, he jokingly asked me if Louis still had those binoculars.”
Louis huffs. “Whatever. We’re good friends now and past is the past.”
The door chimes again as Louis hands Harry and Niall their drinks and the daily special. They all turn around and see Liam walking in.
“Speak of the devil,” Zayn smirks. “Hey, Liam. How was your weekend?”
Liam smiles. “Oh you know, busy studying for finals and stuff. And you?”
“Same. April is a cruel month,” Zayn says with a downturn of his mouth.
“Which is why we’re all going a backpacking trip this summer, yeah?” Niall prompts. The five of them had been talking about this idea for a while now and Niall really wants to. He’s got some money saved up still from last year’s summer jobs and he knows that as long as they keep the costs to a minimum, they can afford it.
Everyone else misses it as they start discussing the possibilities, but Niall sees the way Harry’s eyes flash with panic. “Um, I can’t. My mum says she wants me work my way through the summer again. You know, make sure that I can afford the tuitions and stuff.”
Niall thinks it’s weird that Anne’s said that to Harry because he knows that Anne wouldn’t have qualms about supporting her son’s education. Whatever. Working builds good personality traits and shite. He forgets about it and jumps into the summer plan discussions as well. Even if he ends up not going with them, he can always tell them about the places worth visiting in Ireland.
-
“Harry what the fuck is this?” Niall queries, his voice trembling.
He is staring at a piece of paper, a report of sorts, and it has a bunch of numbers and other medical stuff he doesn’t understand. But he does understand the words included in the document: cancer.
Harry pokes his head out from the bathroom, about to take a shower. “What?”
Niall holds up the piece of paper that had been carefully tucked into a stack of other pieces of paper. The only reason why Niall noticed it is because he knocked over the stack and bent over to pick it up.
The brunet blanches visibly and he walks forwards. “No, Niall, I can explain.”
“Cancer,” Niall states in an accusing tone. “You’ve been getting dialysis for the past three weeks and never told me? All those times you told me that you just didn’t feel like having dinner or that you were going out to see you other friends, they were all lies, weren’t they?”
Tears fill up in Niall’s eyes, and they aren’t there because he’s sad, at least not yet. No, his tears are fuelled by the anger and sense of betrayal that is raging inside of him. He can’t accept the fact that Harry’s sick, not when he is so full of life. Or has been full of life. Now that Niall thinks about it, Harry has been losing weight and when he eats, he never finishes his meal.
Niall had dropped his gaze to the floor without realising but when he feels warm fingertips on his chin, he looks back up. Harry is stood in front of him, wide green eyes full of tears. One tear escapes and streams down his cheek.
Silently, Niall grabs Harry’s shoulder and pushes him up against the wall nearby. He closes the distance between their lips and kisses him furiously. All the emotions that are flashing through his mind, Niall pours them all into this frantic, desperate kiss. Glad that he’s stashed stuff all around their bedroom, he fumbles around for a packet of lube and blindly rips it open. He can taste the salt from Harry’s tears as they continue to kiss and he tries his best to blink back his own tears.
He’s not all that gentle when he pushes in one finger, nor when he pushes in a second one a minute later. They did have a quickie in the morning but Niall is always careful when it comes to Niall. Yet he had missed all the signs of Harry being ill. Stupid!
“Niall, ‘m sorry,” Harry murmurs as Niall adds a third finger. “I meant to tell you earlier.”
“Shut up,” Niall growls. He kisses Harry so that they don’t have to talk about it. Niall pulls his finger out and grips Harry’s hips to turn him around. He kisses the side of Harry’s neck, lightly sucking on it, as he slathers up his prick and slowly thrusts inside of Harry. Harry moans softly at the full feeling and Niall bites at his jawline, wanting him to turn his head around so they can kiss. Harry obliges and Niall kisses Harry sweetly whilst he waits for Harry to adjust. Once Harry gives him the go-ahead, he draws out nearly all the way before thrusting back in roughly. It continues the slow-then-fast rhythm until Harry’s body is shaking from pleasure and then he curls his fingers around Harry’s hard, leaking cock. Harry’s body jerks at the light touch, and Niall begins to tease the sensitive spot below the tip.
“Ni-all,” Harry pants out, ragged breaths making it hard to make out the words that fall past his lips. “Don’t, ngh.” Niall presses his fingertip into the slit, smearing the precum around.
“Don’t what?” Niall rasps into Harry’s ear. He grinds up against Harry, the tip of his cock rubbing right onto Harry’s prostate.
“Tease,” Harry whimpers.
“What should I do then?” Niall asks, stilling his hips.
“Make love to me like you mean it,” Harry whispers, voice strained.
The words really get to Niall and he pulls out all the way. He kisses Harry before picking him up—too easily, a small of his brain whispers—and carrying him to the bed. Niall lowers Harry to the bed slowly and then follows down as well. Their foreheads, touching, Niall whispers. “I will never let you go. Even if it is not within my power to decide that, I can’t. You’re the best thing that’s ever been mine so no, fate be damned, I will hold on to you forever.”
They spend the night tangled up together, burning down the emotions as they well up. Niall gazes at Harry’s sleeping form, thinking. These memories, all these wonderful, irreplaceable memories that he’s made with Harry, will follow him around. That’s why he doesn’t want to lose Harry, no matter what it takes, because he doesn’t want to be looking back at the ghost of Harry’s smile and his gentle green eyes.
-
Niall hates hospitals, always has. The too-tidy space, the calm colours, and Harry lying on the hospital bed. Harry’s still the same Harry that Niall first met, with plump lips and rosy cheeks. But now, the flush in his cheeks is from the high fever and his skin is even paler now. His green eyes hold the love that Niall’s grown used to seeing but they lack the life they once held.
“Niall,” Harry starts to say and Niall has an ominous feeling about this. Harry’s in stage IV now, has been for months. Harry had to take a break from school and nearly yelled at Niall when he said that he wanted to take a break as well. Louis actually had to yell at Niall and supervise as he registered for classes because the last thing Harry would want is for Niall to lose his bright future because of Harry’s misfortune.
“Don’t,” Niall begs, tears stinging his eyes. He leans down to kiss Harry on the lips to shut him up, a tactic that always worked whenever they had an argument. Harry pushes him away, and looks at him with determined eyes.
“I have . . . one last request.
“My last request is: say you’ll remember this, all that we had. Standing in a nice suit, staring at the sunset that one night. Say you’ll see me again even if it’s just in your wildest dreams. That these memories will follow you around when I leave you.”
Niall nods, unable to speak through the tears that are blocking his throat. He leans in again and clasps Harry’s, thin bony fingers as he presses a soft kiss on his forehead.
“I will. I will remember.”
And because as if to mock Niall’s bad feeling from earlier, the heart monitor beeps slow down, further and further until it flat lines. Niall sits there, numb, too drained to even scream for a nurse or press the button for help. The doctors arrive within seconds and holds him back as they do whatever doctors do in this situation.
This . . . it can’t . . . .
-
“You know, I’ll never forgive you for that,” Niall murmurs, wiping at his wet eyes. Tears are falling freely and he doesn’t even try to stop them. “Just leaving me like that, after telling me the sappiest thing I have ever heard.”
He sniffles and stares straight ahead, blue eyes looking at nothing in particular.
“But I didn’t,” Harry says softly, cupping Niall’s face and forcing him to look him in the eyes again.
Niall laughs, more tears falling down. The heart failure had been due to some kind of allergic reaction to the new medication Harry was on at the time. After switching medications a dozen times, they finally found the right combination. The spread of cancer in his other organs weren’t that severe so intensive chemotherapy as well as some surgeries took care of them.
Now, Harry is almost back to normal. His hair is a bit thin from the chemo but it’s nothing that Niall minds, not when the alternative is unthinkable.
“I love you, you sappy helpless romantic,” Niall murmurs, turning his head to kiss the palm of Harry’s hand.
“I love you more,” Harry counters, an old ritual between.
“Not bloody likely.”
Niall pushes Harry down onto the bed and Harry goes along with it, laughing. They have forever now, even though it might be pretend. It doesn’t matter, they’ll work it out.