Chapter Text
“Great, you get sponsorships for sex toys and underwear and I get vitamins and anti aging creams.” Katya watched Trixie lament from across the room where she was setting up her ring light and her tripod. Katya took hold of a battery fresh out of its charger port and fit it into the compartment in the DSLR camera in her lap. It was heavier than her own but she knew Trixie preferred its larger screen and slightly clearer resolution, so they had decided to film both of their videos using Trixie’s stuff. It saved Katya lugging all her shit from her place, if nothing else.
She smiled at Trixie, a little teasingly. She heard the satisfying click of the on button and checked the battery was indeed at one hundred percent. “Brands know I’m the slut and you’re the actual, helpful guru.”
She stood and went over to Trixie, passing her the camera, placing her hand on the small of her back where she was bent over to check the settings on all her equipment.
Trixie’s studio room was pristine, just like the rest of her house. Its baby pink walls served as the perfect backdrop. She had absolutely everything she could ever possibly need to ensure flattering lighting, crisp audio and the space for editing in funny comments or cut-aways in post production. It was a stark contrast to Katya’s own set up and she enjoyed working with Trixie to observe their different routines and practices, how she had spotless white drawers and cupboards and shelves full of makeup and skin care. She wondered how much it all cost in total. Of course, Trixie had barely bought any of it and Katya reaped the benefits when she was sent cruelty free red lipsticks or eyeshadow palettes that featured too many blacks and purples. It was like getting hand-me-downs but infinitely better.
Trixie had a sofa that she used to film on sometimes, a dusky pink chesterfield Katya felt like she would ruin just by being around it. Trixie rarely did sit down, chatty videos unless she was collaborating with Katya. It made Katya feel special, that Trixie did something different with her, for her. Trixie was very good at her job, was precise and deliberate and calculated. Katya blagged it the majority of the time and it bemused her to no end that they enjoyed roughly the same amount of popularity anyway.
Trixie asked Katya to settle into her seat so she could focus the camera and ensure it was at the right angle, and test her microphone too. They chatted away about Katya finally securing her MeUndies deal and Katya cackled when Trixie positioned herself in a range of stupidly exaggerated poses she thought Katya might adopt to model the new collection that was coming out. Trixie pressed record and perched on the other end of the sofa, knees on the cushions with her feet in the air, ass stuck out and back arched as she made an ‘unhhhh’ sound and pouted her overdrawn lips. Katya slapped at her thigh, laughing away and commenting how that would be the best intro to a video she would have ever caught on camera.
They had decided to do a good old Q&A for Trixie’s channel, filming it first before having lunch, retouching their makeup, changing outfits and then filming something for Katya’s channel. Katya didn’t know what, believing that their best content was off the cuff and spontaneous. Some of her most popular videos were ones she’d had no idea what they would turn out to be. Trixie had bought her a mug which said ‘queen of winging it’ for her last birthday and she made sure to always drink her red bull from it on camera - the phrase aptly summed her up.
“Ready?” Trixie asked, running her fingers through her long, blonde loose curls. Katya peered at her in the monitor and smiled at how they looked together, Katya with her black ripped skinny jeans and baggy vest which showed just the right amount of sideboob, and Trixie in a pink dress and elaborate makeup. It was like they were two ends of the lesbian spectrum.
Katya shifted forwards slightly so she didn’t look too small compared to Trixie then gave her the go ahead.
“Hi, I’m Trixie Mattel.”
“And I’m Katya.”
“And today we’re going to be answering questions from all you nosy whores out there.”
Trixie was in her element, phone in hand with screenshots of the responses to her Instagram story, ranging from the hilarious to the personal to the rather mundane. Trixie had selected a good amount of each type of question. They were both pretty open books with very few topics truly off limits for them. It was what caused their collaborations to be so well received, their fans always commenting that they loved them separately, but when they got together there was an added element of chaotic entertainment that no other current lesbian Youtubers displayed so genuinely and naturally.
“Ok, so our first one is from…” Katya glanced sideways at Trixie as she struggled to read the username, like she always did. There was a particularly hilarious compilation a fan had made of all the times she had got someone’s handle wrong, plus another one of Katya cracking up because of Trixie’s apparent illiteracy. “Trixyasbedroomeyes.”
Katya whipped her head towards the camera and smouldered with her interpretation of ‘bedroom eyes’. “Hello.” She greeted the user and Trixie squawked a laugh.
“You look like you’re watching this person wipe.”
“They would be so lucky.” She quipped. “Come on, Mary, what’s the question?”
“‘Hey ladies, long time viewer, first time caller. What’s been your absolute favourite video you filmed together? Love you both lots.’”
Katya perked up instantly at that, wiggling about in her seat as she exclaimed that that was such a good question to start with. “I’d have to say that green screen video we did on my channel a few years ago that went viral still makes me laugh every time I see gifs from it. It took so, so long to edit but it was worth me actually having to do some hard work for a change and it was really fun to do.”
“Come through, improv.” Trixie agreed, snapping her fingers. “Yeah that was a good one but mine’s probably that first one we did about being gay. I know people were expecting, like, an emotional coming out with drama and conflama but we just tore into the straights instead and I’m real proud of us for our service to the LGBT community with that.”
Katya loved Trixie’s dry delivery. People who weren’t familiar with Trixie often took it the wrong way and Katya, when sifting through the comments on her videos in moments of weakness, was always able to spot the newbies, the ones that were confused by her Barbie fantasy aesthetic seemingly contrasting her acerbic tongue. It was nice, however, how her more dedicated viewership would reply dispelling the myths. Of course, these people didn’t know her like Katya did, but they knew what Trixie put across and understood that she wasn’t mean spirited. It was a testament to Trixie’s authenticity that her persona in front of the camera was almost exactly the same as it was away from it.
“Where are our GLAAD awards, am I right ladies?” Katya grinned and winked over dramatically.
“To be honest,” Trixie said, “All of our videos are some of my favourites out of everything I’ve ever done. I’m proud of the work we do together.”
Katya turned to face her, to see how she ducked her chin slightly like she did whenever she was embarrassed but wasn’t completely aware she was showing it. Katya scooted over closer to her so their hips bumped and their thighs rested against each other. Katya wasn’t good at displaying sentimentality, especially not on camera, but sometimes, when she looked through tweets or responses to their videos, she wondered how true that actually was, when thousands of strangers could pinpoint something she did or said which signalled her apparent love for Trixie.
It was no secret that they were one of the most shipped pairings amongst their circle of lesbian Youtuber friends. The scene was messy and drama filled and could sometimes really be like the fucking chart from The L Word, and some of her peers lived for it and others, like herself, didn’t take much notice. She kept behaving how she had always done because to do otherwise would be a disservice to her fans, herself and, most importantly, to Trixie.
Trixie could bulldoze her down, sometimes, when she interlaced her jokes and sarcasm with a beautiful hint of unexpected sincerity.
“Yeah I think she would have been cancelled by now if I wasn’t around to keep her in check every couple of months or so.” Katya joked but bumped her shoulder against Trixie’s to show her she appreciated what she’d said. It was hard to verbalise and much easier to convey how she felt with the subtle clues she hoped Trixie had learnt to pick up on all those years ago.
“Cancel me, mom! Spill that scorching hot tea all over my pussy, ‘cause, sis, that’s on period.” Trixie leant forward for further dramatic effect and Katya wheezed with laughter, grabbing her forearm for stability as she lurched, too, tapping her feet on the floor like she was running on the spot.
“Oh my god, shut up.”
When they calmed, Katya kept her hand on Trixie’s forearm and turned into her to read the next question on her screen. “Skincarequeen95 wants to know, ‘which of each other’s habits annoy you the most?’” Katya sat up tall and smugly, like she was able to get one over on Trixie because of the public’s perception of her.
Trixie looked at her with as much seriousness as she could muster in her presence. “Yours, without a doubt, is your fucking smoke breaks. When we’re working together, I’ll be like, ok, we’re in the middle of filming, cool, just leave me to sit by myself for ten minutes, that’s fine, I’m better off without you anyway.”
Katya looked at the camera deadpan, wide eyed and nodding slowly in agreement. There was no doubt about it, her addiction was annoying to everyone else but her.
“What’s mine?” Trixie prompted.
“Umm, just, just being a bitch.”
The scream that tore through the room was loud and high pitched and would have been too piercing for comfort in Katya’s ears were it not direct from Trixie’s mouth - her trademark, one of the many ways Katya could identify her in a crowd within a split second.
“Yeah, you all know Katya’s been helping me be a bit more personable recently.”
“It’s not working.” Katya joked.
They answered a few other questions, more beauty and fashion related, and two about their friends - who did they think had slept with the most fellow Youtubers (Katya insisted it was Violet before she had gone all U-Haul with Pearl) and who was the most attractive out of them all (Katya said Trixie and Trixie said Katya and they both beamed brightly at each other until they remembered they had to wrap up the video properly and do their outro, detailing where else online they could be found).
Once Trixie turned the camera and her lightboxes off, Katya checked her phone, lying back on the couch with her legs spread wide open.
“You’re such a lady.” Trixie commented as she tidied a few wires away. Katya merely hummed at her comment, engrossed in trying to catch up on a text thread amongst their group. Violet and Pearl were outlining their video schedule for the next few weeks and were also inviting everyone to a big lesbian brunch at The Abbey at the end of the month.
Katya asked Trixie about it. “I’m going if you and Kim and Naomi are.” She shrugged.
Trixie didn’t get the appeal of Violet, never had. It made Katya laugh, how vehemently Trixie would protest that she liked Violet just fine. Katya knew better. She couldn’t determine what it was in particular that turned Trixie right off but they just weren’t close. Whilst it was a shame - Katya thought the world of Violet, even if she did start a few silly rumours about her for the views and to rile their followers up - there wasn’t any true beef between them. Unlike with Violet and a few other Youtubers.
Trixie cooked them up something quick for lunch and they sat round her kitchen island, discussing what to do for Katya’s video. Katya decided to post an Instagram story asking for ideas and there were floods of replies in seconds, the majority begging for a makeup swap or for Trixie to do Katya’s makeup.
Katya had a trademark look of red lips and a bit of eyeliner or a smoky eye if she could be bothered. She didn’t need much to have everyone fawning over her and telling her how hot she was in her comment section. She was blessed with a striking jawline and defined cheekbones and the many insecurities she possessed were based around her personality, not her looks, so she had very little regard for ensuring she applied her makeup flawlessly. That wasn’t her and her subscribers appreciated her even more for it, often telling her how she inspired them to feel more comfortable in their own skin. Katya didn’t understand how she deserved such praise and it often felt like a lot of unintentional responsibility but it was nice to read. People could be very sweet.
“Are you up for it, then?” Katya asked.
Trixie nodded readily. “More than. It’s about time someone intervened.” She smirked as Katya splashed her with some water from where she was standing at the sink, washing her hands. Trixie recorded them mucking about for her Insta stories, hyping up the fact they were filming together without explicitly mentioning it. Trixie was a true pro at giving their fans what they wanted. Almost, anyway. They weren’t making out just for clicks like some dykes they knew...
Katya went into Trixie’s bathroom to use her makeup remover and change tops whilst Trixie organised the set up for their next video. She could hear Trixie dragging her equipment around into the optimal position, as well as one of her barstools so Katya could sit at the right height for Trixie to work on her face easily.
Trixie always said she would have been a makeup artist if she hadn’t got lucky with Youtube. She was so fucking femme and it made Katya think more deeply about how some lesbians like Trixie could manipulate beauty standards for other women’s benefit only. Trixie didn’t give a shit about what men thought about her exaggerated contour or giant winged eyeliner. Before meeting Trixie, Katya had only viewed makeup as a tool of the patriarchy. It was still that, of course, but Trixie unknowingly made her see how femmes made their mark, their statement of protest, in a world expecting them to cater to men.
Katya checked that she’d got rid of the stain on her lips in Trixie’s giant mirror over the sink and made sure she properly tidied away the products she’d used before straightening her ‘Sad Goth’ t-shirt and returning into the kitchen to survey Trixie’s work. “Cool. If I fall asleep sitting up whilst you do this it’s because I’m ancient, not because you’re boring.” She warned with a wink, scooting up onto the chair and swivelling to face the camera.
“Take a quick nap whilst I put another dress on, then, old lady.” Trixie skipped past her, ruffling up her hair as she went. Katya balked, flapping about in Trixie’s general direction until she rounded the corner to her bedroom.
Katya adored working with Trixie. She shied away from a lot of collaborations for many reasons, but she never passed up the opportunity to sit with Trixie and let the camera roll as they acted like utter fools for thirty minute chunks at a time. They often ended up with so much material - it was a testament to both of their editing skills that they were able to whittle it all down to more manageable lengths. Katya was sure their subscribers would have happily watched two straight hours of them bantering but Trixie preferred a more streamlined finalised product.
The rest of the afternoon passed in a haze of laughter and the screeching of increasingly grosser comments between them. They wrapped up filming around four and decided to go get iced coffees from the local cafe before parting ways for the evening.
Katya walked back to her place with Trixie promising to send over the footage that night. Katya waved her off, telling her there was no rush. It was no secret that she never worked herself to the bone. If she filmed during the day, there was not a cat in hell’s chance she would edit it that night. Trixie, on the other hand, worked relentlessly. She had management - the same one as Katya - but she took a lot more matters into her own hands and was always scoping out new ventures, new ideas. Katya smiled to herself, shaking her head, as she pictured Trixie getting in and booting up her iMac, putting in her SD card and laboring away on post production until she remembered to have dinner.
It was a Monday and Katya counted her lucky stars that she wasn’t trapped in an office nine to five, slaving for The Man over something she didn’t care about and that didn’t fucking matter in the end. She might have got a bit of flack from her brother at the start of her career for choosing to do something ‘pointless’ and ‘juvenile’ but she soon managed to make him understand that, ultimately, she was an entertainer and he didn’t criticise actors or comedians for making people laugh so it wasn’t right for him to consider Katya’s job in a different light. He had apologised, eventually, and now fully supported her to the extent that he acted as her lawyer if ever she needed it. It was all first world problems, of course. Though she didn’t take her career too seriously, she also didn’t stand for being undermined.
Settling in for the night with her laptop, she pulled up Youtube, taking a quick glance at her stats before checking her subscriptions page and seeing who had uploaded what. Violet had posted her updated vintage closet tour, Kim had done a sponsored makeup tutorial trying out new KVD products, which already had hundreds of thousands of views, and Alaska had released her latest episode of her podcast with Willam as a guest.
Before she knew it, it was getting dark and she hadn’t checked in on Twitter. She opened the app on her phone, her laptop playing her favourite Glukoza album, and went straight to her mentions. She noticed the regulars who replied to literally everything she posted, sometimes multiple times in the hopes of being noticed, and chose a few to like. Her favourites were always either the thoughtful inputs to something she might have said about a film, TV show or political event, or the stupid memes people made from stills of her videos.
She quickly wrote down an idea to film a video reacting to subscribers’ memes later in the week on her whiteboard, which she used to keep track of goals to reach towards, to keep her focussed and motivated.
Just as she was about to watch something on Netflix, she got a text from Trixie telling her she had sent her the footage from earlier.
“Thank you! You’re not still working are you?” She messaged back.
“Yeah, I’m on an editing roll! We are so funny. I hate us.”
“Tell me about it. Violet and Pearl ‘could never’.” Katya typed out, quoting one of Violet’s most used phrases.
“Absolutely not. I’ll be going to their brunch, btw. I’m sure everyone will be vlogging it so I might as well too. Apparently Violet’s a bit pissed at the new lot of lesbian Youtubers getting attention right now so she’s invited them to scope them out. Naomi said Alaska mentioned it in her podcast. Not naming names, obviously.”
Katya huffed a laugh. Violet had talked to her about it the week previously. She wasn’t pissed at the attention, she had merely made a few remarks about them coming out (pun intended) of nowhere. Katya couldn’t be bothered to dispel it, however. She never got involved. Besides, Violet would live for the comment section coming alive with people trying to determine who Alaska was referring to.
“Oh my god.” She wrote, “Anyway, I think our videos will turn out great. You are a terrible human but that’s why I keep you around. And my makeup hasn’t budged! I look fierce, mama, FIERCE.”
“Setting spray is your new best friend, Katya, I’ve been telling you this for months, you sweaty bitch.”
Katya cackled to herself. It was true, but now she had her own bottle of Urban Decay All Nighter thanks to Trixie’s charity and she even considered using it regularly from then on. A miracle! Katya told Trixie as much and they ended up talking late into the night until Trixie told her she had to go and finish up her work.
Katya wished her good night. She put down her phone, looked around her empty apartment and felt the first whispers of loneliness close in on her. She didn’t sleep until the sun began to rise.