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The last thing Jimin had expected to see when leaving his shower was Namjoon lying on his bed, scrolling on his phone. “What are you doing here?”
“Reading,” he responds, glancing up slowly to stare at Jimin like it wasn’t the most unusual thing in the world. Like he wasn’t just visiting his parents and is back home two days earlier than planned. “I started a new webtoon on the train ride here. I think you’d like it.”
Jimin walks to his closet, shuffling through clothes. “Why the fuck are you here?”
“I have a key.”
“You know that’s not what I mean.”
He listens as Namjoon goes silent and turns around to see him staring at the bedsheets. Jimin has always known that talking about his parents was a sore spot, and from the offhand comments about his childhood suggests that he lived a decent life. However, from how Namjoon’s mood changes so quickly from the thought of them, Jimin guesses, there is more under the surface. “Well, I’m glad you are here. I’ve grown used to having you around.”
The subject change brings more life into Namjoon, who smiles lazily at Jimin, still half there, but there nonetheless. “Is that your way of saying you miss me?”
“I won’t confirm nor deny that.” He listens as Namjoon laughs loudly, and his heart swells slightly at the sound.
He could’ve admitted the truth to him, that he became so used to Namjoon’s constant, unwavering presence, that not being around him made Jimin feel like a fish out of water. He’s comfortable enough with Namjoon to tell him that he is missed throughout all of his hobbies and mayhem. But Jimin has been without Namjoon long enough that he needed to hear his laughter. (He is positive Namjoon knows how much he is valued in his eyes anyway, Jimin has made sure of that.)
The laughter fades into the brimful silence that Jimin has yearned for. A silence so thick and cozy, if you reach out, it’s like petting cotton. He’s never experienced this before, and it’s something he can never seem to recreate if Namjoon isn’t with him. There are so many things Jimin once thought was impossible. Still, Namjoon has proven, time and time again, that the laws of the universe can be rearranged and aligned into fairytales where anything is possible.
“When you get dressed, let’s go on a picnic,” Namjoon mumbles, still focused on his webtoon. Knowing his impatience, he probably spent money to unlock every available chapter.
“That’s sudden. I don’t even think I have the right groceries to make something for a picnic.”
“We can walk to a convenience store on the way. I think my spare picnic basket is still here.”
Jimin’s hands halt, still enclosed around two different shirts. “I’m sorry, your spare what is where ?”
“Yeah, I think I put it under here, actually?” When Jimin turns to look at him, Namjoon’s entire arm is underneath his bed, reaching for something that shouldn’t exist but exists anyway, much to Jimin’s dismay. Namjoon smiles widely and places it on the bed as if it’s a prized possession. Jimin’s heart churns when he hears him whisper a soft, “You’re here.”
“Stop using my home as a storage for your things.”
His head tilts when he finally looks at Jimin. “I’m not using it as storage? I left it here to remind myself to take you on a picnic one day.”
It’s such an innocent statement that carries so much weight to Jimin.
“Under my bed?”
“I figured I’d look under there one day.” Namjoon is just so unbelievably himself that he makes any reason behind his strange thinking sound likely. “So picnic?”
“Picnic.”
The smile this time is directed towards Jimin.
What had started as a picnic became them laying in the grass for hours, watching the color drain slowly from the sky.
“Truth or dare?”
“Truth.”
“I dare you to let me buy you a bike.”
Jimin sighs, lifting his head to stare at him. “Namjoon, that isn’t how this works.”
“Alright, fine, I’ll do it right. Truth or dare?”
“Truth.”
“Do you dare me to buy you a bike?”
“You fucking idiot.”
The stars begin to peek out from behind the darkened paint strokes. Jimin wishes for the heavens to bottle this exact moment for him so that he can enjoy it again and again until his last breath. Jimin doesn’t know when exactly the heavy feeling in his chest was replaced with the weight of bird feathers, but slowly but surely, he has begun to bloom into a new person. A little less bitter, a little more open.
He would credit all of his newfound lightheartedness to Namjoon if that were entirely true, but Jimin knows that he can praise himself, even just a little bit, for taking steps towards the future. Regardless if he needed help doing so or not, Jimin got out of bed each day, even if he soon crawled back in to cry in Namjoon’s arms. He tried, he still is working, and he’ll continue to try. Until the day he can sprint hand-in-hand with Namjoon towards the sun.
“Hey, Jimin,” Namjoon whispers into the air, knowing that Jimin will catch every word, no matter how small.
“Hi.”
“I’m in love with you."
(Namjoon should be nervous, should be terrified to confess feelings so deep and rooted, but he doesn’t feel the need to be, he has never been. Not with him. Not with Jimin.)
Jimin has never been one to believe in soulmates; instead, he believes in fate. The inevitability of two people meeting, whether friends or couples, that form a bond that feels right. Two people sharing a love so deep it’s as if they are drowning in soft rose petals. And that’s what it feels like with Namjoon. Being with him isn’t running through flower fields- instead, it’s a stroll through the park, quiet and comforting, as they listen to the world around them. Jimin loves Namjoon so wholeheartedly and can imagine all of the hushed corners of the world he pictures them spending time in.
It’s as if Namjoon wedged himself into his life and offered Jimin an endless amount of love and support. Namjoon seemed so bottomless and a void of nothingness on the outside. But the more Jimin crept further, the more the fog cleared. He found Namjoon to be breathtakingly beautiful, both inside and out, with a personality that flourished like a garden.
And he treated Jimin like he was the most precious flower.
There has never been any doubt in Jimin’s mind that Namjoon is it.
“It took you long enough, you dolt.”
Their smiles combined were brighter than any star.