Archive of Our Own

"Hyungie, letter for you," Felix said and threw the official looking letter in Woojin's direction before he wandered off. It was typed and mailed in an envelope with a little window through to the address so it couldn’t have come from Woojin’s pack. Hyunjin was glad. After the shit Woojin’s mother pulled Hyunjin had decided he didn't like them one bit and he wasn’t keen on Woojin getting more mail from that place. Woojin picked up the letter and inspected the return address on the back before he opened it.

"Thanks, Lixie," he said absently as he tore it open neatly along the top. Hyunjin would have just ripped it. Hyunjin turned his attention back to his breakfast but when he next glanced at Woojin the man's face was pale and his jaw hung loose in shock.

"Are you ok, Hyung?" he asked, not really sure what he would do if the answer was negative.

"Wha?" Woojin seemed to shake out of a daze. "I'm- I'm fine. Just." His face cracked before his voice did. He was not fine. "Motherfuckers," Woojin whispered with so much pain in his voice. Woojin never swore.

Hyunjin pulled the letter from his grip. "What does it say?" he asked, though he didn't think he wanted to know. Wherever it was, even if Hyunjin couldn't help, Chan could fix it. Chan could always fix it. Woojin took the letter back before Hyunjin could read it and folded it up.

"It says I made the biggest mistake of my life," Woojin said with a shaky sigh. "I love you, Hyunjinnie. I love you so much, remember that."

"Hyung, what does that mean?" Hyunjin asked. Why was he saying it like that? As if he was the protagonist dying in a tv drama. Tears were pouring down Hyunjin's cheeks now and he didn't even know why. "Hyung. What's happening?"

"It's fine, Jinnie," Woojin said, calm again as if the letter in his pocket had never happened. He rounded the table and pulled Hyunjin into one of his legendary hugs. "You're going to be fine." Hyunjin clung onto him, sensing finality. His mind ran through a million possibilities. What if it was cancer? It was often cancer on the TV. He imagined his Woojinnie-hyung lying frail and sick on a hospital bed.

"Hyungie, are you going to be fine?" he asked. It felt like a selfish question.

"I'm going to be fine," Woojin assured him. "See?" He lifted Hyunjin's chin and smiled at him, blindingly bright. Hyunjin wasn't smaller than him anymore. He was most definitely taller but right now it didn't feel that way.

"What's going on here?" Chan joked as he entered the kitchen and stole the untouched toast from Woojin's plate. The second he entered, Woojin grew distant and pulled Hyunjin off of him, guiding the boy back to his seat.

"I'm sorry, Chan," Woojin said quietly and held out the letter with his head lowered.

"Sorry for what?" Chan asked, his voice still bright but a frown starting to form on his face. "Is this a Council letter?" That explained why it had looked so official but not why Woojin had reacted so badly. Maybe it was a recruitment letter? But why would they recruit a werewolf?

“You-?” Chan cut off his question as he read something and he looked up sharply to Woojin. Woojin was still looking at the ground and missed the anguish in Chan’s face. “Woojinnie? Is this real?”

“I’m sorry,” Woojin repeated. He looked up but ducked his head as soon as he caught Chan’s eye. Hyunjin had seen a similar scene once in a historical drama and the servant had then been hit for breaking a priceless trinket. The dialogue here was all wrong though and Woojin hadn’t broken anything of Chan’s. It didn’t make sense and yet Woojin’s head stayed bowed as if he expected a blow.

"Go, then," Chan quietly said at last. “If you’re leaving, leave. Your priorities clearly aren’t here so-” His words caught in his throat and he bit down on his bottom lip so hard the skin broke. “You’ve done enough damage already,” Chan said instead of whatever his original words were.

“Yes,” Woojin agreed softly. Their dialogue was so wrong. That’s not how- Woojin left the room before Hyunjin found the alternative lines for him and a few seconds later Chan broke. However, it wasn’t the satisfied smiles that came after ‘Cut!’ on an emotional scene as the actors hugged in congratulations. Instead the pain only deepened. Chan crouched down with his head between his knees and let out a sob. His opposing actor was gone.

"Channie-hyung?" Hyunjin called out weakly. Chan's breath caught and Hyunjin heard him curse quietly.

"Hyunjin!" Chan said far too cheerily, standing up again and hiding that fucking letter in his back pocket. "Sorry you had to see that."

"What was 'that', Hyung?" Hyunjin asked. "Why did you send Woojinnie-hyung away?"

"He won't be staying here anymore," Chan said as he tried to smile. His mouth didn't get the message though, turning down at the corners instead of up.

"But why?" Hyunjin asked. "What was in that letter that made Hyung so scared?" That was apparently the wrong thing to say because anger flashed in Chan’s eyes. Maybe Woojin hadn’t been so wrong to cower.

"He is paying for his choices," Chan replied. The words were flecked with blood.

"That sounds like Woojinnie-hyung is going to jail or something," Hyunjin said before he could moderate his words.

Chan snorted humorlessly. The disdain didn’t work with the tear tracks still shining on his cheeks. “He’s working up to it,” he replied. The blood from his split lip was running down his chin and he wiped it away harshly, holding his bloodied hand away from himself in disgust as he left the room. The letter was clutched tightly in his other hand, tucked close to his body so Hyunjin couldn’t see what it contained.

As soon as Hyunjin heard Chan go downstairs he ran to Changbin's room. Changbin, Felix and Jisung were all gathered there, completely unaware, and Hyunjin recounted the past five minutes to them in as much detail as he dared.

"You're joking," Jisung said lightly.

"He's not joking," Changbin said, as he watched Hyunjin's face carefully.

"You have to be joking," Jisung said again, with a panicked smile. "There's no way Channie-hyung would do that. He got up and left the room yelling, "Channie-hyung?!" as he did so.

Hyunjin expected yelling to start -Jisung had that effect on people when he was worked up- but it stayed quiet. That was almost worse. Everything about this day felt wrong except for Changbin’s arm around his shoulders. Their height difference now was comical but Changbin still managed to be a sheltering presence.

“Why do you think Hyung said that?” Hyunjin asked him quietly.

“That he’d done enough damage already?” Changbin asked.

Hyunjin nodded. “What could Woojinnie-hyung have broken that was so bad for Channie-hyung to hate him?” Hyunjin asked. “He loves him.” Chan loves Woojin. Woojin loves Chan. “That doesn’t just stop, right?” He tried to imagine his love for Seungmin or Jeongin disappearing in an instant. It didn’t work. They were too intertwined to cut free of each other that suddenly. Chan and Woojin were the same. Or so he thought.

“I’m the wrong person to ask,” Changbin said. He looked across to Felix and Hyunjin followed his gaze. Felix shrugged. The light that shone out of him, that brightened every interaction normally, was extinguished.

“Love can fade,” Felix offered. He’d grown up in a culture with different standards. Love wasn’t romanticised there so maybe he had a clearer view. “It can not be there in the first place too. But Hyungs…” Felix shrugged again. “I thought theirs would last. It looked like something made to last.”

“I thought so too,” Hyunjin whispered.

“Binnie-hyung,” Jisung said breathlessly, bursting back into the room. “Hyung is crying and I don’t know what to do.” His eyes were desperate and shining blue but his magic wasn’t leaking yet. If it did now while Minho was at work, Woojin was gone, and Chan was incapacitated, they were in trouble.

“I’ve got it,” Changbin said, calm as ever. He led Jisung to sit with Hyunjin and left. Not even a minute later Seungmin and Jeongin appeared, footsteps too light to have been burdened with the news.

“What’s up?” Jeongin asked. “Binnie-hyung said to come here.” Felix patted the bed next to him and they sat.

“Woah,” Seungmin bent to peer closer at Jisung’s bright blue eyes. “What triggered it?” he asked with playful curiosity. Seungmin always wanted to know everything. Maybe he’d change his mind once he knew that the emotion Jisung was trying to repress was the pain of heartbreak.

“Woojinnie-hyung got a letter,” Hyunjin said. Jeongin frowned, not understanding how that was related but Seungmin was focused, soaking up the information. “I don’t know what it said but when Channie-hyung read it he told Woojinnie-hyung to leave. He said Woojinnie-hyung had done enough damage already and then Woojinnie-hyung left.”

“That must have been a lie,” Seungmin said, but his eyes slid back to Jisung’s, still burning blue. “Like a joke or something.”

Jisung shook his head and worked up the focus to speak. “The letter said Woojinnie-hyung wasn’t wearing his tag. Somehow the council knew and he had 48 hours to leave the city. If Channie-hyung hadn't kicked him out he would have left anyway."

"Because of his fucking tag?" Jeongin said, suddenly enraged. "Why the fuck isn't Chan doing something then?" He tried to leave but Hyunjin caught the back of his jumper at the last second.

"Leave him," Hyunjin said.

"No!" Jeongin replied. "He can do something. Woojinnie-hyung is practically his husband and he's just going to abandon him over some racist law? Fuck that."

"Innie," Hyunjin said firmly. "He's grieving. Give him some time."

"I'll go find Woojinnie-hyung then," Jeongin decided, shaking himself free. "I'll stick by him even if his boyfriend won't."

"This has a sense of déjà vu about it," Seungmin commented as Jeongin whirled out of the door.

"I don't think it's going to end as well as last time," Felix admitted quietly. Hyunjin silently agreed.

"Are we going after him again?" Hyunjin asked Seungmin. Last time, they could guess where Jeongin would go. Hotels, hostels, anywhere Woojin would head for alternative housing. This time, Woojin wasn't headed for alternative housing and if Jeongin was tracking him Jeongin wouldn't stay human. They had no hope of following that chase but it felt poetic to ask.

Seungmin shook his head. "He'll come back." It was clear he was talking about Jeongin. Woojin's return felt more and more uncertain.

"We should phone Hyung," Seungmin said eventually, breaking the silence.

"Which Hyung?" Hyunjin asked. Minho? To tell him what little news they had. Or Woojin? To ask for more and find out where he had gone. Hyunjin realised he never found out where Woojin had been before he joined their family. Would he go back to the same place if he left?

"Minho-hyung," Seungmin said. "Maybe he can help."

They didn't call Minho because none of them could face being the one to deliver the news. It sounded impossible anyway. Chan telling Woojin to leave? Woojin agreeing? It didn’t fit their characters at all. Minho would never trust Hyunjin as a reliable news source if he heard that. He’d say Hyunjin was being over-dramatic. This time he wasn’t though. Hyunjin wished it was all made up but even his imagination couldn’t produce emotions that raw. Minho would believe Jisung but Hyunjin didn’t dare ask that of the witch right now. He was doing an incredible job of keeping his magic under control and talking to Minho would certainly push him over the edge into something dangerous.

After a while Jisung’s eyes snapped back to brown and he slumped into Hyunjin’s side, gasping for air.

“Well done, Sungie,” Hyunjin murmured to him, kissing the top of his hair and running his hand soothingly down his back now it was safe to do so. “You’re so strong.”

“I need to do something,” Jisung said though he made no effort to move. “If I stay still I’ll think about it again.”

There wasn’t much to do in the house that wouldn’t bring memories of Chan or Woojin. There wasn’t anything actually so they decided to open the shop again, but this time with the four of them together. It felt a little less like their world was falling apart when they were all huddled like penguins bracing against the cold. Unlike penguins, and very much unlike themselves, they didn't make a sound.

After a while Changbin joined them, looking drained, and he was shuffled to the centre of the huddle.

“Where’s Innie?” he asked, already checking on Jisung, who shrugged him off but then clung tight as Changbin settled his arms around him.

“He went after Hyung again,” Seungmin said. Again. Their Hyungs had fallen apart spectacularly and made up before. Hyunjin held onto that hope. This was just a cliffhanger and only the writers could see the resolution.

Changbin grimaced. “Did he have his tag?”

“They wouldn’t-” Seungmin’s grip on Hyunjin’s hand was painfully tight. So tight it felt like his bones would break. It was a good pain, a pain he understood. He squeezed back and Seungmin’s grip slackened slightly.

“He’s an adult now,” Changbin said, quietly as if he didn’t want to hear the words as he said them.

“He had it,” Hyunjin said loudly, drowning out the alternatives. “When he left, he had it.”

When Minho got back he froze in the doorway. "What happened?" The words rang in Hyunjin's ears. What happened what happened what happened. Hyunjin knew the facts but he still didn't have an answer. What happened to make his world crumble so easily?

Minho took it better than any of them and that scared Hyunjin more than Felix’s apathy had. Minho had lived more than they had, not just in years but also in experiences. He'd had multiple jobs, lived in different cities, had different friends. Was this inevitable then? Did love end this quickly for people all around the world? Did the people he passed on the street know what this was like? And why didn't anybody warn him?

"I'll go see how he is," Minho said and before anyone could stop him he was knocking on Chan's door. Chan's door now because although Woojin had slept there the previous night and most nights before that for years, it was no longer his. Just like that.

Hyunjin heard talking, mostly from Minho, and the five of them stayed frozen to catch as much of the conversation as they could. Hyunjin heard no words but he could hear the inflections and nobody was angry. He supposed that that was a good thing. Eventually, two browsing customers later, Minho emerged with Chan.

"I'm sorry," Chan said hoarsely, his head bowed. Hyunjin felt his heart start to race at the similarity. “This is my fault. I’m sorry.”

“How is it your fault?” Felix asked. “You didn’t turn Hyung in, did you?”

Chan’s head snapped up when he heard that, pain clouding his eyes. “What, no! I would never-” His words died in his mouth as he took in their faces and noticed one missing. "Where's Innie?"

"Gone," Hyunjin told him. And really, was that a surprise? Jeongin had always idolised Woojin.

"He went with-?" Chan didn't say his name.

"Innie followed him," Jisung told Chan, which gave the man just enough hope to stay afloat. Chan's eyes watered but he didn't cry.

"Innie will come back," he told himself more than the rest of them. Hyunjin wasn't so sure. Just a few days after he had met Woojin for the first time, Jeongin had taken his side resolutely against Chan. Now that the two men were viewed as equal guardians, Hyunjin wasn't sure even he and Seungmin could change Jeongin's mind.

“You need to explain what happened, Channie-hyung,” Felix said gently. Hyunjin wondered if this was easier for him. The fae didn't do permanent relationships and maybe this was more normal to him. Maybe that's why he could still focus on the facts and not the feeling of his heart breaking.

"I will," Chan said. "I will. Shut the shop, we'll go upstairs."

***

"The day… Woojin... arrived,” Chan told them, forcing himself to say Woojin’s name, “he had just gotten out of jail. Instead of being held in the facility he was given a 30 day restriction. No shifting, no leaving Seoul. Which is why he came to our shop to get wolfsbane."

"That's why he wouldn't shift?" Felix asked, horrified. "It nearly killed him. I felt his heart, Hyung. It would have killed him." Hyunjin hadn't been there and this information scared him more. He knew what happened next and how badly it has broken trust between not just the two of them, but Jeongin as well. Hyunjin reached out and grabbed Seungmin's hand tightly.

"I know, Chan said softly. "That's why I took him to the Council building, so Jinyoung-hyung could ease his sentence."

"What was the crime?" Changbin asked quietly, almost not daring to say the words.

"He had shifted in front of some campers," Chan said. "Wolf to human. And he tore their entire camp apart before that. He was lucky his sentence was light because they were stoners and even they didn't really believe their story."

"Death by wolfsbane was light?" Jisung asked. "Woojinnie-hyung wouldn't have just done that for no reason. He's the calmest wolf ever."

"What was the reason he shifted, Hyung," Seungmin pressed Chan. "You know. And you know it wasn't a crime. What was the reason?"

"Why are you so good at reading me, Minnie?" Chan sniffed and scrubbed tears from his eyes. "He was starving," Chan admitted. "It was winter, remember? And they had a KFC bucket."

Chicken. That was such a Woojin thing to do that Hyunjin started crying all over again. It was nearly winter again and Woojin was going back to the woods. What if he didn't make it through the winter this time?

"Don't cry, Jinnie," Chan begged him. "Please don't cry."

"It's wi-win-ter n-now," he managed to choke out. They could join the dots themselves.

"It's winter now," Seungmin repeated for him, rubbing circles on his back.

"He'll be fine," Chan reassured him with empty words. "He's lived through hundreds of winters before. He can go south, or towards the sea. It's warmer there."

"I don't want him to go," Jisung said. "Get Jinyoung-ssi to fix again."

"I can't," Chan said harshly. "He knew the law. He knew they would be watching him. Of course they were going to find out if he broke such a simple law! That’s exactly the kind of shit the Council loves to catch people out on. Why couldn’t he wear his fucking tag?" Chan hit the table and it splintered, a crack running straight across it following the grain. "I'm sorry," Chan whispered, hiding his face in his hands. "I'm so sorry boys, I'm so sorry."

***

They say in mostly tense silence as Minho murmured things to Chan in Elvish. Seungmin and Felix would be able to follow it but Hyunjin was still struggling with Fae and his brain was understandably not cooperating. Seungmin held his hand and Hyunjin focused on just existing through this.

Time passed strangely the rest of that day. It felt a little like when Hyunjin had gotten trapped underwater in the sewers, being battered so hard by the current that he couldn’t focus on anything else beyond just being alive. A phone rang somewhere in the house. It wasn’t his. Hyunjin’s phone was always on vibrate. He ignored it and the ringing eventually stopped. He barely noticed the change.

“It’s Hyung’s phone,'' Felix said quietly, coming back from the kitchen with the familiar device in his hand. Chan looked up as the phone audibly buzzed and Felix frowned back down at it and tapped the screen. “He’s got a text. It’s locked.”

“Nine, seven, one, zero, three,” Chan whispered and the phone made a positive chirp as it unlocked. Old people and their inability to find silent mode.

Felix bit his lip as he opened the message. “Hey, I’ve found your dog. Your number was on it’s collar. Can you call me back? Taehyun.”

Innie. He wouldn’t have a collar but a while back Jeongin had thought it would be funny to add another tag to the chain around his neck along with his government ID. He’d gotten Changbin to carve I.N onto one side of a metal disk and Chan and Woojin’s numbers on the other. Woojin’s number must have come first.

“Ask him where he is,” Hyunjin said.

“Jongno-gu,” Felix answered a minute later. Near the national park. That made sense- half the park still lay within the city limits so Woojin would be able to shift to his preferred form faster to get away. If Jeongin had made it to the park boundary, Woojin would be long gone. The thought comforted him slightly. Woojin had always seemed freer when they left the city, laughing easier and joking more. Maybe he would be happier out there without them to tie him down.

“I’ll call him,” Chan said, holding out his hand for Woojin’s phone. He operated it easily and held it up to his ear as it began to ring. His whole demeanor changed as the man picked up. “Hi, yeah, you have my dog? Thank you so much for taking him. Where was he? Really? Ah, ok. I was searching in the wrong direction. I’ll be there as soon as I can. Bye!” Chan exhaled loudly as he set the phone down and scrubbed a hand over his face. “I’ll go get him now,” he told them, standing shakily.

“I’ll come with you,” Hyunjin said quickly.

“No. He’s going to fight me, Jin.” Chan said wearily. “You don’t need to deal with that.”

“That’s why I’m coming with you,” Hyunjin said. “He’s my boyfriend- I know what he’s like.” Bad words. Bad, bad words. Why did he say that? Terra, he was such an idiot. “Sorry Hyung,” he whispered.

“It’s ok,” Chan said, far too cheerfully. “Let’s go find the baby, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Hyunjin echoed.

***

It was nearly rush hour on the ride out to Jongno-gu and Hyunjin, despite being much taller, ended up perched on Chan’s lap. He couldn’t cut off blood circulation if there was none so Chan didn’t complain at the extra weight.

“Do you have the letter?” Hyunjin asked half way into their trip, feeling braver facing away from Chan.

“Why?”

“I want to read it,” Hyunjin said. “You-” No, he shouldn’t say that. “I want to read it.”

“Ok,” Chan said, giving in just like that. “I just don’t want you to get upset.”

“I’m already upset, Hyung,” Hyunjin replied. “I feel like my heart is actually ripping in two. It’s awful.” The girl opposite them glanced up sharply at that before looking away and readjusting her headphones.

“Yeah, that’s pretty accurate,” Chan agreed. The girl’s eyes widened though she was resolutely looking elsewhere. Chan shifted Hyunjin to one knee and pulled the letter out of his pocket. “Don’t drop it,” he warned. Hyunjin wouldn’t. He was more at risk of ripping it from holding too tightly.

Dear Mr Kim,

In accordance with national legislation, all shifters are required to wear their international identifier (II) at all times. This is to allow shifters to move freely in the form of their choosing and to allow the Council to best assist the shifter to re-enter society at a foreign location.

The way everything was phrased made him feel sick. ‘Allow the Council to best assist’. Who did they think they were fooling? Everyone knew the tag was to track shifters, not help them. Sure, the bank would give you money and maybe some clean clothes but you didn’t need a tag for that. A few strings of letters and numbers would count as verification nearly anywhere else. He kept reading.

Data from your II and linked subcutaneous beacon has flagged that-

“Hyung, what’s a subcutaneous beacon?” Hyunjin asked, pausing in his reading.

“‘Subcutaneous’ means under the skin,” Chan replied. “They must have chipped him when he was.. taken in before.” Chan wisely avoided the word ‘arrested’ in the busy subway car. Hyunjin shivered at the thought.

“They shouldn’t be allowed to do that.”

“No, probably not,” Chan agreed. “But...your Dad should have known it might happen.” Is that how they were doing things now? At least Chan was still acknowledging the Woojin was family, though perhaps no longer family to him. “It’s a horrible rule but is it really so hard to follow? You manage it every day, don’t you Jin? Just leave the tag on. It couldn’t be easier.”

Hyunjin felt now was not the time to tell Chan how suffocating it was sometimes to have a constant reminder that he was seen as inferior. How sometimes he just wanted to rip it off and throw it into the river. He would never need it for ID purposes anyway so what good was the daily reminder. Jeongin had been right though, it was more than just an ID tag. He wondered if a government agent was tasked with following his movements. Did they see when he went to dance class, when he went on midnight runs to the convenience store? Did they know everywhere he’d been with Jeongin (and Seungmin) on a date? Did they know how far out to sea he could swim and how fast he could run a mile? Hyunjin checked the letter.

Data from your II and linked subcutaneous beacon has flagged that you have been in breach of Act 17.2 three times and as such have forfeited your right to unrestricted movement within urban areas of high density non-mystic populations. Primarily, this consists of the cities of Seoul, Incheon, Daegu and Busan from which you are now barred indefinitely. Further non-compliance with the law in any capacity will result in increased restrictions and additional measures for the insured safety of vulnerable persons.

These restrictions will take effect at midday on the 28th of October. Any queries on the boundaries of the restricted area list above should be directed to the number above or to our webpage.

Hyunjin skimmed past the closing remarks and folded the letter back up.

“We could have said goodbye.” Hyunjin was probably the person that got the best goodbye though that word was never said. ‘I love you so much’ Woojin had said and he’d hugged Hyunjin like he’d never see him again. Perhaps he wouldn’t.

“He didn’t deserve a goodbye after that,” Chan said as they stood for their stop and he carefully took the letter and tucked it inside his jacket. “It’s better if you forget him.”

“We deserve goodbye,” Hyunjin said, trailing Chan off of the train with the rush of businessmen. “Me, you, Innie. He deserved a chance to say goodbye and you didn’t let him have that.”

“It’s better if you forget him,” Chan repeated, facing away from him as he took his turn through the turnstile.

***

Jeongin was a very angry puppy by the time they got to him. Well, at this point ‘puppy’ was a bit of a stretch.

“Are you sure he’s your dog?” The man, Taehyun, asked as Jeongin immediately snarled at Chan.

“Yeah,” Chan sighed. “There’s been some changes at home he’s not been too happy with.”

Taehyun nodded in understanding. “Ah, I understand. My cousin had a baby and her little dog would not stop barking at the kid. They had to give it away. The dog, not the kid.”

“We’re not giving Innie away,” Chan told him. “He just needs some time to adjust.”

“Hey, sweetheart,” Hyunjin said quietly, holding out his hand to Jeongin as Taehyun let him out of the house. Jeongin came bounding over and buried his face in Hyunjin’s chest. “I know,” Hyunjin soothed him as Jeongin whined quietly. “I know. Two minutes and we’ll find you somewhere to shift.” he rubbed Jeongin’s ears between his fingers to calm him down.

“Make sure you put a leash on him this time,” Taehyun called as he went back inside his house, waving goodbye.

“Will do,” Chan replied. Hyunjin hooked his fingers under Jeongin’s tag for show.

When they got back to the main road Jeongin pulled Hyunjin North. Hyunjin let him go, after all Jeongin was a person and could make his own decisions.

“Innie, we’re going home,” Chan said sharply. Jeongin growled at him again.

“Fine,” Chan said. He threw the backpack of clothes at Jeongin’s feet. “Get changed and go after him. You’re an adult, I can’t stop you.” Jeongin stopped growling and looked to Hyunjin balefully.

“You won’t find him, Innie,” Hyunjin admitted reluctantly. “Hyung’s not allowed on this side of the park. He could be anywhere by now and he will have made sure you can’t track him.”

Jeongin let out a quiet ‘boof’ and dragged the backpack behind a bin. A minute later he emerged with it slung over his shoulder. Chan reached out to smooth down his hair and Jeongin slapped him away.

“I am not your enemy,” Chan said, catching Jeongin’s wrist. He let it go again as soon as he’d grabbed it and sighed, scrubbing his hand across his face. “Please, don’t make this harder than it already is.” He sounded tired and that was strange because even when his insomnia was at his worst Chan always hid how badly it was affecting him.

“You told Woojinnie-hyung to leave,” Jeongin accused. “In his own house. You told him to leave.” Jeongin’s eyes seemed to fill his face as they brimmed with tears. “I didn’t even say ‘good morning’ back to him today.”

Chan’s jaw clenched. “I’m sorry,” he said again. He’d said that a lot today. “I thought it would be easier to end things quickly.”

“It’s not easier,” Jeongin said, wiping the back of his hand under his eyes. “It hurts.”

“Yeah,” Chan agreed, taking the empty bag back. “Let’s go home.”

It wasn’t easy but it got easier. It hurt a little less each day to remember Woojin around the house, to tell stories from a time when he was still with them, to say his name. Chan still avoided it as much as possible. Instead, he had settled on ‘him’ or ‘your Dad' since the kids had fiercely refused to pretend Woojin had never existed. Jeongin still hadn’t forgiven Chan for ‘abandoning’ Woojin the same as Chan hadn’t forgiven Woojin for ‘abandoning’ all of them. The tension was getting unbearable and Hyunjin was inclined to side with Jeongin but he could also see how Chan was struggling.

“You’re only still angry because you still love him,” Minho had told Chan once when Chan threw Woojin’s shop notebook across the room in frustration. Jisung had put a protection bubble around Minho reflexively, expecting the worst but Chan didn’t react so Minho continued. “If you didn’t love Woojin-hyung you wouldn’t have any more emotion left to feel for him.”

“Of course I love him,” Chan had admitted exaspiredly, too worked up to hide his feelings. “I love him and I hate him and I miss him and I never want to see him again.” That sounded messy.

“I want to see him again,” Hyunjin had said. Even if Woojin had put himself first, Hyunjin couldn’t blame him for it and he was sure Woojin regretted it now. Hyunjin wasn’t the only one with that view but Chan wasn’t alone either.

“I don’t,” Felix said. He didn’t have to explain himself any more than Hyunjin did. They had grown up a lot over the winter and such disagreements didn’t end in fire and tears like they once would have. Others didn’t voice their opinion and that was ok too. Jeongin’s opinion, however, couldn’t be more clear.

***

“I can’t believe Channie-hyung has the audacity to say he still loves Woojinnie-hyung,” Jeongin said, throwing himself down onto their bed later that day. “Oh, you love him but you’ll kick him to the curb the second things get difficult? Bitch, you don’t deserve half the man Woojinnie-hyung is.”

Seungmin snorted as he came in to collect a book. “You know he can hear you, right?”

“Good!” Jeongin said. “I’m done being nice to him.”

“Ok,” Seungmin said mildly. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Jeongin’s temple. Jeongin’s glare didn’t fade. “If you want a logical plan of attack you know where to find me,” Seungmin offered. Jeongin caught his hand as Seungmin made to leave and squeezed it before letting go. That was as close as Jeongin would come to saying he appreciated him in his current state of mind.

More and more often Hyunjin’s conversations with Jeongin had turned less into conversations and more into social justice rants. Seungmin was sympathetic to their cause and was more than willing to use his diplomatic immunity as a high-ranking fae to fuck with anyone and everyone in their way. However, this side of the skin he didn’t have a lot of power and when their rants got repetitive he left them to it.

“I’ll be good,” Hyunjin said preemptively as Seungmin crossed the room to him and cupped his face. Seungmin laughed lightly.

“Why would I care about that?” he asked and pulled Hyunjin closer only to bite his bottom lip and pull back with a grin. “May I suggest talking to Hyung though? He’s not telling us his full truth and if you let Innie go claws first Hyung will just go back to saying ‘I’m sorry’ all the time again.”

“I wasn’t going to go claws first!” Jeongin protested behind him.

“Teeth first?” Seungmin guessed jokingly.

“Ya!”

“See you later, Innie!” Seungmin called breezily and slipped out of the room before Hyunjin got the chance to get him back for the bite.

“Are we actually going to talk to Hyung?” Hyunjin asked, sitting down at the foot of the bed. Jeongin was fueled with a lot more rage than he was and Hyunjin wasn’t sure his youngest boyfriend could have a civilised conversation with Chan about this yet.

“Something like that,” Jeongin said ominously before raising his voice. “CHAN-HYUNG!” That would be more than enough to get the vampire’s attention no matter where he was.

“NOT WHAT I MEANT!” Seungmin yelled back but when the door opened it wasn’t him.

“Hi,” Chan said hesitantly. “You called?”

“Yes,” Jeongin said, sitting up. He gestured to the floor. “Take a seat.”

“Terra, Innie no.” Hyunjin said, grabbing Chan’s arm before he actually sat on the floor. “We’re not doing it like that. Hyung, sit on the desk chair. We need to talk to you.”

“About what?” Chan asked, as he sat gingerly and glanced between them.

“First of all.” Jeongin held up a finger while he hooked the chain of his tag out of his t-shirt and pulled it over his head. Hyunjin leaned back from experience as Jeongin flicked the chain around in a circle twice to build momentum before letting it go so it flew into the wall. Hyunjin saw Chan’s eyes widen in realisation as he discovered the cause of all the shallow cuts in the plasterboard.

“That,” Jeongin pointed to where the tag had fallen, “is the single worst thing in my life. I hated it before I knew there were trackers in it and I hate it even more now. I want to cut it up into tiny pieces and feed it to whoever decided this was ok.”

“You have to wear it, Innie,” Chan said. Terra, he really didn’t get it, did he?

“I know,” Jeongin said. “If I don't, the Council will come and arrest me. They’ll lock a curse on me so I can’t shift, blah, blah.”

“I’m serious, Innie,” Chan said, almost sounding frantic. “You have to wear it or they’ll take you away from all of us.”

“I know,” Jeongin repeated. “I saw what happened to Hyung. But why can’t you see how fucked up that is? Me and Hyunjinnie, we’re never free. Ever. They know everywhere we go, every other shifter we meet. You used to hate the Council. Why are you siding with them now? Against Woojinnie-hyung.” The fire died in Jeongin. “I don’t understand,” he finished brokenly.

Chan didn’t reply immediately. He set his mouth in a tight line and stared out of the window. “If it was just Woojin and me, I don’t think I would have cared nearly as much. I probably would have gone with him.” He smiled wryly. “I’d destroy the tag and his tracker myself and go on the run if that’s what he wanted.”

“Then wh-” Hyunjin started.

“You,” Chan said quickly, cutting him off. “The Council isn’t some supervillain you can just defeat. It’s an international corporation. There are thousands of people working for them and they don’t care about shifters. I can’t do anything against that without putting all of you at risk. Woojin knew that. He knew he was on their hit list already and if he stepped one toe out of line they would come after him. I thought he cared about this family but he put himself first.”

“It’s not like that,” Hyunjin said. “He did care.”

“Not enough,” Chan said gruffly, staring at the ground.

“You know when you miss the sea, Channie-hyung?” Hyunjin asked. It was something he and Chan had in common. Chan nodded with a frown. “And when you can’t go for months and it kind of builds up inside you?” Chan nodded again. “And then when you finally see that sea again and all that stress just kind of melts away? It’s like that. Sort of. We can stand having the tag on for a long time b-”

“Even though it’s racist bullshit,” Jeongin cut in.

“Even though it’s racist bullshit,” Hyunjin agreed. “But at some point it just gets too much. Even if they’re not using the data from our tags, sometimes we just need to breathe freely, you know? Hyung must have had it much worse if he knew that they were tracking him.”

“Yeah,” Chan agreed brokenly. “I wish he’d told me.”

“You wouldn’t have understood,” Jeongin said. “You still don’t.”

“Make me understand then,” Chan challenged him. He bent down and scooped Jeongin’s tag off the floor. The edge of it was well-battered from many encounters with the wall and Chan ran his finger along the dents before pocketing it. “Come and give me your tag every time you feel like that and I’ll wear it for a while. As long as we’re together that should fly since I’m your guardian.”

Hyunjin took his own tag off and silently passed it to Chan. Chan bit his lip but took it and slipped the chain around his own neck. He really was trying even if he didn’t know what they were going through and Hyunjin had to commend him for that.

Jeongin held out his hand. “You should give me mine back,” he said reluctantly. “We don’t know what scale the tracking is and if they see both me and Hyunjin moving the same it will raise red flags.”

“It’ll be fine in the house,” Chan said, not returning Jeongin’s tag. Jeongin kept his hand out.

“Just to be safe,” Jeongin said. “You wouldn’t want the Council building a case against us.”

Chan sighed and handed Jeongin’s tag over. “You really don’t think your Dad did anything wrong?” he asked.

Hyunjin shrugged. “It was illegal but I don’t think that makes it wrong. He never expected to be caught. I don’t think he would have ever taken his tag off if he knew it wasn’t the only tracker on him.” Chan’s eyes widened suddenly and Hyunjin stopped his explanation. “What?”

“I’ve been unconscious in Council buildings too,” Chan said, hurriedly taking Hyunjin’s tag off and passing it back to him. “There’ll be a tracker in me as well.”

“You really think so,” Jeongin asked, frowning at Chan.

“I’m a deserter,” Chan said, feeling along the back of his neck, where they always put trackers in the movies. “Sure, they let me go willingly, but I’m kind of fucking up their recruitment system.” He finished feeling up his neck and dropped his hand in defeat. “God, they know every single shifter I’ve talked to,” he whispered, his eyes unfocused.

“Do you understand now?” Jeongin asked smugly. “They know every shifter you’ve met, everywhere you’ve gone. All your daily, weekly, monthly patterns. Everything.”

“Yeah ok,” Chan breathed out. “Ok, that’s really not ideal.”

“Do you see Woojin-hyung’s side now,” Jeongin pressed. Hyunjin thought he was being a little harsh. Chan had just found out he had been traced, possibly for centuries. It would freak anybody out.

“Yes, alright!” Chan said exaspiredly. “I get it. I was wrong to push him away like that. He shouldn’t have hidden it from me but I shouldn’t have lost faith in him so quickly. I panic when people leave and I should have worked on that a long time ago. Jesus christ, my life is a shitshow.” Chan buried his face in his hands. Hyunjin moved to crouch beside Chan and rubbed his back soothingly.

“It’ll be ok, Hyung,” Hyunjin said. “We can help.”

“I can handle it,” Chan replied, already putting his mask back up. The only person he had been vulnerable with had been Woojin so Hyunjin wasn’t really surprised that he was closing himself off again. They would just have to be persistent.

“Ok, I’m going to try that again,” Hyunjin said. “We are helping you. We’re not kids anymore, Hyung, and, no offense, but you’re kind of a mess.”

Chan laughed at that. “This is nothing, Jinnie,” he said, reaching out an arm to pull Hyunjin into a side-hug. “You should ask Sung what I was like before. But I will try not to do everything myself if you promise to tell me when your tag is getting too much and we can try and work something out.

“Like overthrowing the government,” Jeongin suggested darkly from the bed. Chan rolled his eyes.

“We can work up to that, Innie,” he said, holding out his other arm. Jeongin grudgingly came and sat on Chan’s knee. “You’ll need to find another double agent though, it appears I’ve been compromised for a while.”

“Or we send in Minnie,” Hyunjin suggested.

“Seungmi- Terra help us all,” Chan muttered. He squeezed them both tightly. “Please don’t plant that idea in his head. I’m legitimately terrified to see how far he would get.”

“I would dismantle the entire system, obviously,” Seungmin said from the door. Chan jumped and fell off the chair, taking both shifters with him.

“Fucking hell, Seungmin,” Chan cursed. He was really going backwards with his cursing that day. “How much did you hear?”

Seungmin shrugged. “What I didn’t hear I’ll find out tonight anyway. Have you told each other everything or do I need to start digging?”

“We’re good, Minnie,” Jeongin said, untangling himself from Chan and sitting up. “Turns out Channie-hyung is probably also being persecuted so he’s starting to see our side.”

“Oh, what flavour of persecution?” Seungmin asked.

“Tracker,” Hyunjin told him. “Channie-hyung thinks he got one under his skin like Woojinnie-hyung from when he used to work for the Council.”

“Well, aren’t you special,” Seungmin commented. “A built-in tracker. Still superior, even in this.”

“Sorry?” Chan said hesitantly.

“You should be,” Jeongin half-joked. “How did you manage to be the person the Council trusts the most and least simultaneously?”

“I have that effect on people,” Chan replied despondently.

The first postcard came in early January and they didn’t understand the significance behind it at the time. It showed a dirt road to the sea and the type on the back claimed it to be some tiny town out East somewhere. Hyunjin had never heard of it before. There was no writing on the back to indicate who it came from but the picture was nice so Jisung stuck it to the fridge. The second postcard was equally unmarked, this time from a slightly larger town Hyunjin had heard of. There was a hill, the sea-green ocean and a string of cable cars framed neatly within the shot. It looked like a nice place to visit.

It was another week until Changbin, sitting on the counter as he waited for his ramen to cook commented, “Woojinnie-hyung loves the sea.” That comment stuck in Hyunjin’s head until the third postcard arrived. This time a view of the sea through a window, down a narrow street empty of people. They were odd postcards. Nothing about them screamed ‘Come here! Look what you’re missing!’ but they left Hyunjin nostalgic for places he’d never been.

He mapped the three towns in his old geography textbook and drew dotted lines between them, looping through the coastal forests. Seungmin was horrified when he saw. Not at his idea- at his defiling of a textbook. Seungmin actually thought his idea was pretty interesting.

“He’s going South,” Seungmin noted.

Jisung calculated the average distance a wolf could travel in that terrain in a week and the numbers were certainly doable, even with hunting time for the season and calorie consumption factored in. They bought a bigger map and Changbin pinned it to the wall. Restricted areas were outlined in red, their house a little cartoon in blue and postcard locations were pinned. Seungmin tied red string between them as if they were solving a crime. It felt like a crime to be making it in clear view of Chan, who hadn’t fully forgiven Woojin’s choices, but he didn’t stop them. As they finished Chan stopped on his way past and stared at it for a moment. Hyunjin held his breath. Chan pointed to a forest in the middle of the country.

“His childhood pack is here.” He left again before they could ask any more questions but Hyunjin took that as a sign their plotting had been approved.

***

“Post,” Felix said, one morning, dropping a pile onto the table. Strangely, Hyunjin had developed anxiety around letters. It was a messy combination to be afraid of; rain, confined spaces and letters. It meant he was never the first to see a postcard though. Minho flicked through the post. Food coupons by the breadbin, letters for him in his back pocket, letters for Chan on the table, junk mail in the recycling. Nobody else got mail unless it was a package delivery and they were almost never brought into the kitchen.

“Postcard!” Minho announced, halfway through the junkmail. He called it loudly enough that it brought Chan, Jeongin and Changbin through to the kitchen, Changbin still drying his hair.

“Donghae?” Chan asked curiously. It was a port not too far South of the other postcard locations.

“How the fuck would you know?” Minho asked him, narrowing his eyes.

Chan held up his hands. “Educated guess, I swear. It fits the trajectory and he has an old friend there.”

“Do you know the friend?” Jisung asked quickly.

“Sorry, I don’t even have a name,” Chan said. He sounded genuinely apologetic. “Does this postcard say anything?”

“Nothing,” Minho said, passing it around.

“Maybe Hyung is afraid to write anything because he thinks you hate him,” Jeongin suggested, as he passed the postcard to Chan.

“I don’t hate him,” Chan sighed, staring down at the postcard. He passed the postcard to Changbin. “Maybe you guys could try to contact him.”

“What a great idea,” Seungmin said sarcastically. “Why didn’t we think of that? I’ll send a letter to ‘The Weirdly Behaving Wolf (or Man), East Coast of Korea. I’m sure the postman will know exactly where to send that.”

“I’m trying to help here,” Chan said. “Stop attacking me for one minute.” He paused but nobody cut in again. “What about the website? We don’t know where your Dad is but he knows where we are. I’m sure he’s worried the business will collapse without him.” (It had actually done better because Chan had barely slept for the first month and had thrown himself into work like a man gone mad.) “If you leave a message on the website he might see it and write something in his next postcard.”

“I’m going to add a Sale banner that just says ‘WE OVERTHREW THE PATRIARCHY’” Jisung decided.

“You don’t know how to do that,” Hyunjin retorted.

“Sharpie?” Jisung grinned. They argued just to add some spice to the day now and the wildly illogical suggestion was an offering for more insults. Jisung would expect Hyunjin to reply in kind so they could let off steam by roasting each other.

“No,” Hyunjin scoffed. “Spray paint.” He rolled his eyes. “Urgh. Amateur.”

“I take it I’m writing this message?” Felix asked with an air of boredom, cutting their banter short. He was the one that normally updated the website after all.

“Please, Hyung,” Jeongin said quietly. “We just want to talk to him.”

“I wasn’t going to say no,” Felix grumbled. “Let me get my laptop.”

The message they decided on was Felix’s idea. They added a new product that nobody would ever want to buy. That way, Felix reasoned, if Woojin did want contact he could reply immediately through the order form. They offered zero grams of wolfsbane, for 100,000 won. In the product description Minho added ‘END OF STOCK. 3RACHA will no longer be stocking this product and others like it that perpetuate the unjust oppression of minorities. We hope you can support our decision to learn from our mistakes and open our perspectives. Family discounts apply.’

“That sounds like a jab at Channie-hyung,” Changbin commented as Felix resized a photo Seungmin had taken of the jar of herbs that started it all. It still lived in the kitchen cupboard with the normal tea and coffee even though nobody had touched it since Woojin collapsed years ago. After the photo was taken it went straight back.

“It was a jab at Channie-hyung,” Minho said. “If Woojinnie-hyung thinks we did this behind Channie-hyung’s back he won’t answer.”

“Done!” Felix said with the click of a button. “Anything else I should do?”

“Update the actual stock,” Chan said.

Felix groaned and hit his head off the table. “Why?”

“Zelda games don’t grow on trees,” Chan reminded him.

“I have the Zelda one. It’s Animal Crossing I’m saving for.”

“Animal Crossing doesn’t grow on trees,” Chan corrected.

“Actually, in Animal Crossing, most stuff can be found in trees,” Jeongin pointed out. “And there are money trees too.”

Chan shook his head. “What kind of values are video games teaching kids these days? I remember when it was no strategy, murder as many people as you can.”

“You also remember when real life was no strategy, murder as many people as you can,” Jisung pointed out.

“Touché,” Chan admitted. “That was not a good time to be undead.”

“Speaking of undead,” Changbin smiled. “Have you drunk your blood this morning.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Don’t make me force-feed you,” Changbin threatened.

Chan grimaced. “Fine, I’ll take the cow blood.”

Their hope slowly faded as the days passed and there was no reply to their offer. Strangely, it was Chan that kept their spirits high.

“Well, he’s not going to have internet access in the forest is he?” Chan pointed out. “You’ll have to wait until he reaches his next town and goes to a cafe or something.”

Still, every day the chance of a reply seemed slimmer. The only thing Hyunjin held out hope for was the next postcard. If it was blank then Woojin didn’t want to talk to them and Hyunjin would be ok with that. He’d faced worse, he could be ok with that.

The problem with waiting for a postcard was that postcards came in the mail, same as letters did. He only had to ask if he noticed the mail and someone else would check for him but the anxiety still bubbled. There was no postcard for weeks (only two weeks, but it felt like a lifetime) until finally, one day Hyunjin hadn’t even made it out of bed yet and there was a shout.

“POSTCARD!”

He had never gotten out of bed so fast.

“Did Hyung write?” He asked breathlessly, barrelling into Minho’s back.

“There’s numbers,” Jisung frowned and Seungmin impatiently grabbed it from his hand.

“It’s a date and... something else.”

Chan peered over his shoulder. “Co-ordinates,” he said. “North, no wait. 37 point… maybe that’s East of Seoul? You’ll have to look it up. Anyway, it looks like your Dad has sent a Save the Date.”

“He better not be marrying anyone else,” Jeongin threatened the postcard.

“I highly doubt it considering he still tries to send you child support every month,” Chan quipped and then froze.

“He WHAT?” Jisung exploded, his hair standing up on end like an anime character from the static he was creating. Chan backed up against the counter to fend off the flailing limbs. “YOU’VE HAD CONTACT THIS ENTIRE TIME!?”

“No!” Chan said hurriedly. “Money has just been coming into my account from his, labelled ‘Child Support’. It doesn’t tell me where he is or anything else. I've been sending it back everytime I see it.”

“You send it back?” Seungmin said. “Isn’t that rude?”

“No! Well, ye- no, it’s not!” Chan fumbled, the blood he had just drank brightening his ears.

“You write a message back, don’t you?” Minho guessed wryly.

“THIS ENTIRE TIME!” Jisung was going for Chan’s neck. “Open your mobile banking right now.”

The first ‘Child Support’ came through on the 16th of December and Chan was still burning with anger. It had been just long enough that he was angry at the world too now. Angry at the Council for creating this double standard, angry at Woojin for not sharing the burden of his worries and for being so selfish, angry at himself for still being affected. The 18th of December (when Chan noticed the payment) was horrendously cold and Chan had had to crank up the heating so Felix would stop shivering under his mountain of blankets. On days like that nobody wanted to hug Chan as he just stole any heat their body was producing. He had been guiltily fantasising about Woojin’s hugs before he even saw his statement.

‘Child Support.’

What about me? Chan thought dejectedly but quickly fueled his anger to squash the thought. He left. He abandoned you. He hurt the kids. Still, even the familiarity of Woojin’s account number brought him comfort. Woojin was a good man with good intentions, Chan could admit that much. He had just made some unforgivable mistakes.

Chan couldn’t accept the money. It had nothing to do with pride -should he need money for the kids he would take it without a second thought. Woojin definitely owed them it but right now all that money would do would pay for them to have the heating on a little longer each day. The thought made Chan feel a little sick. They had heat and shelter and a supply of fresh food. Woojin had his thick pelt, his teeth and his wit. He sent the money back.

‘Stay Alive.’

In hindsight he probably could have written something better for the first contact with his boyfriend in over a month. Ex-boyfriend really, but they hadn’t technically broken up. He’d said ‘leave’ and ‘you’ve done enough damage already’ which was pretty final but he also hadn’t said ‘I don’t love you anymore’ or ‘we’re done’. He did still love Woojin no matter how much he tried not to and ‘done’ was a bold claim to make when you were immortal and had lived lives so intertwined. So yes, logically Woojin was his ex but within the comfort of his own mind he would always be something more.

Chan expected another ‘Child Support’ payment. He knew Woojin and Woojin was persistent. Still, when he saw the next notification (he had set up a text alert for payments from Woojin’s account number) his heart leapt.

“Why are you smiling?” Jisung had grumbled.

“Nothing,” Chan said, putting his phone away. He left, he abandoned you, he hurt the kids, Chan reminded himself and the smile died.

Later that night he returned the money. ‘Storm coming,’ he labelled it. He wasn’t sure exactly where Woojin was but the storm was set to rip across the whole North of the country. If Woojin was sensible he would stay in town for a few extra days at least. Chan hoped he would use the money to get a bed in a hostel and some warm meals at least. It was bound to be slim pickings in the forests this time of year.

‘Child Support.’

‘Build a Cabin,’ Chan sent back.

Woojin had spoken a couple of times about how he wanted to one day have a house between a forest and the sea. If it was remote enough he and the kids wouldn’t have to hide their identities. Felix could fly, Innie could be whatever he wanted to be, Hyunjin could actually spend time in his shifted form for once. Jisung could experiment far away from anything with electricity.

They’d been to a couple of nice spots on family trips before and Woojin had pointed to a clearing once.

“Right there,” he’d said. “I’d build a cabin right there, facing the sea.”

“You know how to build a cabin?” Chan had asked skeptically.

“I’ve helped build them before,” Woojin had said. “Changbin can be the muscle, you can be the eye candy.”

“I have muscles too!”

“Sure babe.”

‘I’m travelling,’ Woojin titled his next payment but it was a given at this point that it was intended as child support. Chan was still reeling from the recent realisation that he was likely tracked as well as Woojin and seeing that Woojin was still so willing to talk to him despite how horribly Chan had treated him made his heart hurt. He should have listened. He should have noticed something wasn’t right before that letter had even been written. He should have done better. Chan sent the money back as ‘Travel Fund’ and went to the local mystic gym to punch out his emotions until he was exhausted enough to sleep.

When the postcards started after that Chan didn’t voice his suspicion that they came from Woojin. If he was wrong it would cause so much unnecessary pain. By the third postcard he was sure but the kids had picked up on it too and were much further ahead of him on the ‘locating Dad’ front. Chan wanted to thank Woojin for the updates; wanted to tell him that he slept easier knowing where he was. (He still didn’t sleep well but he could certainly stay unconscious for longer). However, their odd method of communication only allowed a few characters at a time, four words at most, and it wasn’t his turn anyway. He wasn’t brave enough yet to be the one to initiate closer contact.

‘Travel Fund’, Woojin sent back but it was many weeks later, after the fourth postcard had arrived and they’d sent out the white flag. Chan wondered if Woojin had seen the kids’ message. While Chan preferred to keep Woojin at a distance, the kids deserved some closure too.

The bank’s online form didn’t allow question marks and that bothered him. ‘Where am I going,’ Chan asked as he returned that money. Woojin knew Chan desperately wanted to visit Australia again but that amount wouldn’t even cover a trip for just him and he’d always said he wanted to take the whole family. He briefly wondered if Sydney was included in the list of places Woojin wasn’t allowed to go before banishing that thought from his head.

He got the coordinates before Woojin responded to his bank transfer and Jisung broke the careful game they had been playing.

‘Dad WTF,’ he sent ten won, the lowest amount the bank would allow.

‘Phone us.’ Another ten won.

‘Please ily.’ Ten thousand won this time.

“He’s not going to know what that means,” Hyunjin pointed out. Chan’s account didn’t allow a fourth payment on the same day so Jisung moved to his own phone. Soon they were all at it, even Felix who had pretty much decided that Woojin was dead to him.

“Don’t send all your money to your father,” Chan warned them. “He might not get around to sending it back for a few weeks and I am not bailing you out.”

Chan didn’t know what they sent but they all got ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘ilysm’ back the next day, each with too many zeros attached. Chan had lost the ‘child support’ game then.

Chan just got ‘I’m sorry,’ but it was followed with ‘Going wolf’ and ‘Don’t worry’. What a stupid thing to say- of course he was going to worry. ‘Stay Safe,’ he sent back quickly in the hope that Woojin would get the message before he left.

Woojin’s phone chirped as he started to strap on his backpack contraption. He thought he’d turned it off but clearly he hadn’t. The notification was either a text from Taehyung-hyung or an automated message from his bank account. He’d told Taehyung he was going ‘offline’ for a while so that meant it was probably one of the kids sending him more money in order to talk to him. He couldn’t leave them hanging now, especially since more than one of them were annoyed with Channie and him for keeping them in the dark. Woojin reluctantly took off the backpack and crouched down to pull out his phone.

It was Chan.

‘Stay Safe’ Chan had written. Woojin probably wasn’t forgiven then, since his ‘I’m sorry’ was unanswered. That was understandable- Woojin was a terrible father and there was nothing more precious to Chan than the kids. It was nice to see that he wasn’t blacklisted for replying to all the kids though. That had been a risk considering it didn’t seem Chan had given up their bizarre messaging system willingly. He was grateful for this much for now though and if he was lucky he’d get to see at least a couple of them soon.

Woojin turned off the phone properly this time and zipped it securely in his backpack. His clothes were also in there, along with some money, twine, matches and soap. He’d never carried anything with him before but he also hadn’t been shifting back to human form every couple of weeks to send his kids a postcard and the village folk tended to freak out a bit when a naked man wandered out of the forest. He’d picked a backpack that matched his fur as closely as possible and muddied it in the dirt enough that it didn’t stand out too much. It was a little uncomfortable but he’d made adjustments over time and now the little bag sat quite nicely between his shoulders. He slung it onto his back and after checking it was secure, shifted form. In this form nothing could stop him from doing exactly what he wanted and he immediately felt more relaxed. Woojin picked up a faint smell of something interesting coming from the East that he hadn’t noticed in human form and the weather forecast had said rain was coming in off of the sea to the West in the next few hours. East it was.