Work Text:
The loft Hoseok shares with his six boyfriends is open-plan, so he can easily see what everyone’s doing from his usual perch on the second floor, at the log table by the railings. Except for Namjoon, who has his own secluded workspace due to the nature of his job.
From what Hoseok can currently see, Jungkook is rolling around on the orange couch, having a four-way video call with his family. Taehyung is rolling around on the green couch, holding his Nintendo Switch, brows furrowed as he fires away at some zombies. Jimin is at the dining table, streaming a movie in HD on his laptop, and Seokjin is curled up on the rainbow vine armchair, downloading several ebooks at once, one hand absently stroking the chin of the family cat, Moose.
It’s nice when it’s like this, when everyone’s coexisting in peace, minding their own business, totally immersed in what they’re doing. They never have to worry about someone accidentally using too much bandwidth and hogging all the data. Imagine that! It’d suck for Taehyung to get swarmed by zombies because of a sudden disconnection. It’d suck for Jimin to get to the most exciting part of a movie only to have the resolution change into blurry 144P. And it would be a huge problem for Namjoon because he does interpretation online in real-time—it could practically cost him his job!
Yes, it would suck, but to be honest, Hoseok doesn’t know what any of these things feel like. Never did. He radiates incredibly fast wi-fi wherever he goes. The day he was born, the hospital nurses all scrambled to download as many Spotify playlists as they could. Every class he was in, his teacher and classmates would wait to update their phone apps at school instead of at home to save data. The company he currently works in canceled all data plans for the office building because they can simply leech off Hoseok.
Hoseok, being the nice guy he is, doesn’t have the heart to kick anyone off the internet. Besides, it doesn’t hurt him anyway, he has unlimited data, and projecting wi-fi doesn’t hurt nor exhaust him at all. But sometimes, only sometimes, he’d wish that he was born with a different special power. Not that he envies others for having cooler powers or anything—most people he’s met have silly abilities such as having everyone within ten yards of them burp too whenever they burp, or sharting whenever there’s a storm. Inconvenient abilities that are more curses than powers. Radiating fast wi-fi is at least a good power.
It’s just that… he wonders, you know. Sometimes he can’t help but wonder if he would still be as popular as he is if he had a different power. If his friends truly liked him, if they would still stick around without the wi-fi. Like, a lot of people frequent certain cafes only because of the wi-fi, right? What makes this any different?
Namjoon would tell him he’s overthinking, Hoseok supposes, if he knew. But it’s okay, because he won’t know. Hoseok prides himself on being good at hiding his meandering thoughts from his boyfriends—they have enough problems of their own to deal with already. They don’t need to know how Hoseok lies in bed awake at night, wondering if his six boyfriends would still love him if he had some other superpower. They don’t need to know how insignificant Hoseok feels sometimes, when he’s in the mood to chat and cuddle and hold hands, yet everyone else is busy enjoying the speedy wi-fi. His wi-fi. It’s like they’re dating the wi-fi and Hoseok is just an afterthought.
The group chat dings and Hoseok looks down to see a message from Yoongi, who’s outside at work, grumbling that he’s tired and wants Hoseok to come pick him up.
I can pick you up! It’s faster! Taehyung types from his position on the green couch. No thanks, don’t feel like getting wet today, Yoongi replies. Send Hoseok. I want Hoseok.
Hoseok grins, bounces down the stairs, grabs a jacket and his car keys and heads out. He loves it when he gets to pick Yoongi up from work. It doesn’t happen often because transporting people is normally Taehyung’s job, so Hoseok cherishes every chance he gets.
Yoongi’s “superpower” isn’t much of a power—it’s more of an inconvenience than anything. When he gets tired, he begins to fade away like a ghost. The more tired he is, the more transparent he becomes. When Yoongi falls asleep, he turns invisible. It’s the reason he always asks to be picked up when he’s tired at work—he doesn’t want to walk home half-transparent and scare the poor innocent pedestrians on the way.
Hoseok likes picking Yoongi up from work. Likes it when Yoongi shuffles into the passenger’s seat, see-through body shimmering under the purple evening skies. Likes chatting as he drives, just the two of them sharing mundane tidbits about their day, as the sun slowly sets in the rearview mirror. Sometimes Yoongi’s words melt away into gibberish and then he turns completely invisible. And once in a while there would be a loud thump on the car window and Yoongi would shimmer back into existence, muttering a cute “ow” as he rubs his head, which had hit the window. Hoseok would laugh and Yoongi would laugh too and they’d pull into the driveway as the first stars of the night appear on the horizon.
Maybe, Hoseok thinks, he likes picking Yoongi up from work so much because Yoongi doesn’t use his phone much during the journey, too exhausted and brain-dead to even bother. See, they all have their respective ways to cope with their “superpowers”—have been training themselves since they were kids. And Yoongi has trained himself to remain fully alert when he has to so that he wouldn’t fade away at work or in other important occasions. However, it’s such a mentally taxing thing to do that as soon as he exits the situation and enters somewhere he finds safe, he’d almost immediately fall asleep, all energy depleted.
Sleepyhead Yoongi is honest, unguarded Yoongi. It takes a lot of trust, Hoseok knows, for Yoongi to just let go and fall asleep in front of someone else. He doesn’t do that in front of just anyone. Only a select few get to see (or should he say don’t get to see?) Yoongi asleep and invisible.
Hoseok feels very honored to be one of the select few. It makes him feel all warm and fuzzy inside that Yoongi trusts him, doesn’t feel the need to force himself to be alert and present in front of him. It makes him feel wanted, loved, and it’s got nothing to do with his wi-fi. Yoongi doesn’t care about wi-fi, he just wants to sleep.
Hoseok helps a barely visible Yoongi out of his seat, slinging one of Yoongi’s barely visible arms over his shoulder to help him hobble along. The warm yellow lights welcome them at the door, the mouth-watering smell of curry wafting out. Yoongi tilts his barely visible head up and gives Hoseok a barely visible smile. It’s times like these when Hoseok knows that, like Namjoon would have said, he really is overthinking.
He feels loved.
**
Hoseok didn’t suddenly gain all six boyfriends overnight, of course. It was a gradual thing, Namjoon and Jimin were already dating before Hoseok even knew them, and then there was Seokjin, and then they met Yoongi and Taehyung and Hoseok who were in a polyamorous relationship, and then they pooled their funds and bought the loft they currently all share and realized that they had one extra room to rent out, so Jungkook happened.
That’s the summary they use when mutual friends ask them for the gist of it, but naturally the process was much more complicated than that. For Hoseok, the whole thing in fact started with a one-night stand. A nice, harmless one-night stand with Taehyung. They had fun, neither asked any intrusive questions, parted ways amicably the next morning. Hoseok thought Taehyung was great and, well, hot (duh), but a one-night stand was a one-night stand and Hoseok respected people’s boundaries, so he wasn’t going to push Taehyung into anything more and simply continued on with his life.
Except that very night, while he was enjoying a warm, steamy shower, out of nowhere two naked men popped up inside his shower stall, just like that. As expected, Hoseok screeched loudly enough to wake the neighbor’s baby. And then, one hand over his racing heart, he assessed the situation to find—
“Taehyung?” And ooh, his friend is a cute little man.
Hoseok kept the latter part to himself because he wasn’t sure if Taehyung’s naked partner would be happy to be called “cute little man”.
A very flustered Taehyung scrambled to explain that it was his superpower—if he was in a shower stall with the water running, he could teleport to any shower stall he’s previously been in, provided that the water was also running in that shower stall. He could also bring someone with him if their bodies were touching. His friend, “Yoongi-hyung”, was his apartment-mate, and they often used this method to beat the traffic by utilizing Yoongi’s workplace shower.
“But… why did you guys turn up here?” Hoseok asked. And then he remembered that Taehyung had showered at his place before leaving in the morning.
“It’s kind of a routine for me, so I wasn’t even using my brain…” Taehyung explained, looking down shyly. “I just thought ‘take us to the last shower I was in’, and here we are…”
It was, Hoseok reckoned, a lucky coincidence that he happened to be showering at that exact moment. Because in front of him was a naked and mortified Taehyung, wet and breathless and beautiful, and Hoseok, desperate to not stare too much, turned his gaze towards the cute little man. And dammit, what a cute little man!
“Last night you said you weren’t seeing anyone,” Hoseok spat out. This sounded a bit accusatory but it was the first thing that came into his head. Also “spat out” simply meant that he was spitting out shower water, so it wasn’t really as mean as it sounded.
“I’m not,” Taehyung said. “Seeing anyone, that is.”
Hoseok gestured wordlessly at the cute little man. Taehyung’s cheeks, already pink under the hot shower water, turned even redder.
“We’re apartment-mates,” he spluttered, “I’m just helping him beat the traffic! And no one wants to wear clothes in the shower so we have to do it naked and hyung keeps his work clothes in a waterproof bag and—”
“Apartment-mates,” Hoseok repeated, raising an eyebrow. “Apartment-mates who meet up twice every day to go into the shower, naked.”
“Yah,” the cute little man spoke up and Hoseok loved his voice. “Stop making poor Taehyungie splutter, he’s gonna drown in your shower. This is your home, right? Aren’t you gonna invite us in for some soup?”
Hoseok invited them in for some chicken noodle soup. The rest was history.
Hoseok still thinks about that day sometimes when he’s in the shower. And he’d thank destiny for bringing them together that fateful night, because if that silly coincidence hadn’t happened he wouldn’t have started dating Yoongi and Taehyung, and would therefore not met the rest of them because Seokjin was Yoongi’s university roommate and he was the one who introduced them to Namjoon and Jimin and… and wow. It really felt like fate had meddled to bring them all together.
When he’s feeling down, had a bad day at work, he would think about that day in the shower. Because it’s healing somehow to know that fate works in its own mysterious way, and that small moments could lead to something big and beautiful.
Hoseok finds himself in the shower again one night, after a long day at work. He’s feeling especially down on himself because it didn’t have to be such a long workday. Some colleagues were working overtime due to an oversight that was discovered too late. It had nothing to do with Hoseok, he was free to leave, but he stayed. He voluntarily stayed because the company building relied on him for an internet connection, and even though his colleagues could have just turned on their own phone hotspots, Hoseok’s wi-fi was much faster.
They didn’t even ask him to stay. Hoseok offered to himself. And now he’s feeling down on himself in the shower because why? Why is he like this? Why does he go out of his way to be a doormat, as if he wholeheartedly believed he wouldn’t be loved or accepted if he didn’t?
Perhaps he’s overthinking again, Hoseok tells himself as he reaches for the shampoo and wipes water out of his face.
And then there are arms around his waist.
One would think Hoseok would have screamed, but he’s used to it by now. It always happens when he’s had a bad day. He hates burdening others with his feelings, so he hides in the shower. But he knows that it’s never kept Taehyung out.
“I can’t even have a little privacy in this household, huh?” He laughs, teasingly. Taehyung simply holds Hoseok tighter.
“Hyung, what’s wrong? You can tell me,” he whispers into the nape of Hoseok’s neck. It tickles.
For a few moments, there’s just the two of them, the steam, the running water. Companionable silence. Hoseok hates burdening others with his feelings, but he does think that his current issue is probably something Taehyung can relate to too.
“Just thinking,” he says, gently. “Just thinking one day I’m gonna stop being a doormat. Maybe people would actually like me more if I don’t try so hard.”
Taehyung mumbles his reply and it tickles Hoseok’s ear, so he giggles.
They talk. They talk, and laugh, and complain, the way only two people who are unsure about themselves but also really want to be liked could. Self-deprecating, but sincere, full of hope. And by the end of the shower, Hoseok walks out of the stall feeling like a refreshed person. Taehyung follows him out because he can’t return to the shower stall he came from—the one in Seokjin’s bathroom—since Seokjin had helpfully turned the shower off so as to not waste water.
“I think I’ll sleep well tonight, thanks, Taehyungie,” Hoseok says. They move to one of the loft’s three bedrooms and plop down on the bed while toweling themselves down.
“Ow,” the bed says. Hoseok giggles.
“Sorry, Yoongi-hyung.”
It’s going to be a good night.
**
Jimin is the cheerful one of the family. The cute one. The one who can always be counted on to lighten the atmosphere with honeyed giggles and clumsy antics.
But even the cheerful ones get sad too. Hoseok understands how that feels the best, so Jimin always comes to him when he’s feeling lost. They’d sit together in bed, drapes over the glass walls let down to provide absolute privacy. Jimin will be snuggled all the way in the crisp sheets, only visible from the nose above, and he’ll smile at Hoseok with crinkled eyes that are puffy from crying, because even after crying, he still smiles. That’s Jimin for you.
“It’s valid, what you’re feeling,” Hoseok says, nestling his chin on a soft pillow.
“But…” Jimin sniffles, “but I have it so good. I was born with a nice power, unlike… say, Yoongi-hyung, and Kookie. I have such a good life. I have much less to deal with than the others.”
“That doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to be sad,” Hoseok points out. “I mean, I’ve got a pretty convenient power too, but would you ever say I’m not allowed to feel sad?”
Jimin makes a scandalized face. “Of course not. But it’s different, hyung! Your power is… is the kind that… you know, with great power comes great responsibility. You stay in places longer than you really have to, all the time, because people need your wi-fi. So you still have it harder than me. My power is nice and also doesn’t give me any extra responsibilities.”
“Yes it does,” Hoseok argues. “It gives you the responsibility to clean the cat litter box.”
Jimin scrunches up his nose. “Hm. I suppose that’s true.”
Jimin’s power isn’t one that’s obvious to anyone else. Hoseok wouldn’t have known what it is if Jimin hadn’t told him himself. Basically, any smell that’s supposed to be pungent would smell lovely to Jimin. He thinks sewers smell like Lush bath bombs, and public toilets smell like cinnamon cookies. Cat pee smells like a cozy autumn walk in the woods. People would often joke that the quote “it’s not all sunshine and roses” doesn’t apply to Jimin because, to him, that’s exactly what the stench of armpits on a crowded bus smells like. Perhaps that contributed a bit to the way Jimin views the world. Perhaps it’s one of the reasons he thinks he’s not allowed to be sad. Because life is all sunshine and roses for him.
Hoseok thinks that’s a ton of crap (except even that would still smell good to Jimin). Just because everything is fragrant in Jimin’s world, it doesn’t mean that he can’t be upset once in a while. He never fails to tell Jimin so.
“Your powers don’t define you. That’s what you always tell me, right?” He says to Jimin, poking him on the nose. Because yes, that’s what Jimin always tells him, when he’s in one of those moods, where he sits and pouts and wonders if at least two-thirds of the people in his life are only there because of his wi-fi. He thinks that it’s most likely the case.
“But my powers are so nice. Unlike Kookie’s,” Jimin mumbles from under the covers. “I should be grateful, right? If Kookie is enjoying his life even though his power is more of a curse, why can’t I enjoy mine?”
Hoseok strokes Jimin’s hair gently. He gets it. He really does, because he feels it too, all the time, the guilt. When he sees Yoongi-hyung desperately fight his urge to turn transparent in the wrong place at the wrong time. When Jin-hyung pulls all-nighters to complete his superhero duties. When Taehyung is wet for the tenth time in a day because he made it his goal to be in as many showers as he can for future convenience, and when Namjoon comes to him for heart-to-heart talks about how he always feels like he’s taking advantage of the others (Hoseok, of course, assures him that it’s not the case).
He sees the others suffering from the powers they were born with, and he feels guilty. Because it’s like suffering is part of their normality, and they’re all dealing with it so bravely. Meanwhile, Hoseok is just the guy who radiates fast wi-fi.
He feels guilty, but then Jimin will always assure him that he isn’t the one causing the suffering, that he’s already doing his best to help. That just because he, unlike poor Jungkook, who despite having impressive muscles can’t pick up anything that weighs over two kilograms, has a nice power, it doesn’t mean that his worries and troubles are less valid. Everyone worries. Everyone has troubles. It’s only human.
Jimin always assures him, so Hoseok, too, will always be there by Jimin’s side to assure him right back when he needs it. It’s not a contest on who has it the hardest. I can be sad. You can be sad. We’re allowed to be sad.
And then the sniffles and sobs will subside, and the two will bury themselves under the blankets for a good night’s sleep. Jimin sometimes worries that he might smell bad to others, because, well, he can’t really tell.
But as Hoseok snuggles close into him, nose snugly in the crook of Jimin’s neck, he thinks Jimin smells just like sunshine and roses.
**
As an interpreter who works online with clients in real-time, Namjoon is always very presentable during work hours. He’d style his hair, put on a spiffy suit, and sit in front of the laptop with a posture that’s both confident and dignified.
Underneath, he’s usually not wearing pants. It makes things so much, well, easier.
See, the thing about Namjoon’s superpower is that… is that… well, he can speak any language in the world. Any language. But only when horny.
Hoseok really admires Namjoon, because maintaining a straight face and professional demeanor in front of the screen camera while horny? That takes a crazy amount of willpower. Namjoon says it’s not that bad, he’s trained his entire life for this, but still.
Namjoon’s always got specific videos that he knows will help do the trick open on a separate screen on silent. That way, when he feels his erection going away, he’ll have something to, well, keep him going. It seems to Hoseok to be a very mentally taxing process.
Non-real-time translation gigs, the kind that Namjoon can do offline, on the other hand, are much less difficult. Namjoon lives in the same house with his six boyfriends, after all. Usually at least one of them would be up to dropping by and having some fun. If no one happens to be free, Jungkook walks around the household naked anyway, and Taehyung is often dripping wet, so Namjoon just kind of stares at them and then begins typing away with one hand. At first everyone found this whole process funny, and then they all got used to it. It’s life.
Namjoon talks to them all about it one day, sits everyone down around the island in the kitchen and pours his heart out. Says he felt disgusted with himself a lot, because who uses their boyfriends’ naked bodies to do work? What if the others think he only wants them around because they turn him on and he needs to be turned on for work? What if the others think he only likes them for their bodies? And isn’t it creepy? Just because they’re all in a relationship, it doesn’t mean that they’d want Namjoon to stare at them for “inspiration” before getting down to work, right?
“But you have our consent,” Jimin tells him, voice firm. “We know what your ability is. We know it’s how you make a living. We know that you’re helping so many people around the world with your language skills. And we support you doing it in whatever way we can.”
“I voluntarily walk around the house naked. Kookie too,” Taehyung adds. “We do it because we want to. If we didn’t want you to see us like that, we wouldn’t do it. It’s that simple.”
It’s cute, Hoseok thinks, how Namjoon blushes at the mention of his naked boyfriends considering the nature of his daily activities. He’s cute. Namjoon is cute.
“We all knew what we were signing up for when we agreed to get this loft together,” Seokjin says as he sticks a piece of sashimi into his mouth. “Besides, we all have our weird quirks. You tolerate ours, we accept yours.”
“It’s not exactly the same, though,” Namjoon whines. “Hoseok radiating wi-fi is on a totally different level with me spending all my workdays horny.”
“Actually,” Yoongi clears his throat, “I’ve always wanted to ask, Joonie. Do you even feel like having sex on your vacation days? Like, if I have to make myself horny for work all the time, I imagine I’d get very tired of it.”
Hoseok gulps from where he’s leaning uncomfortably against the marble countertop. How has he not considered this part? It’s the consensus that Jungkook has the worst “power” of them all, since every time he needs to pick up anything over two kg he’d have to ask his hyungs for help. But… but Namjoon’s also sounds horrible. Surely having to be constantly turned on for work would take all the fun out of it, right?
Hoseok reaches out to hold Namjoon’s hand. Memories rush through his head, memories of him and Namjoon having sex during his off-days. He racks his brains, trying to remember whether there had been any forced-ness. Was Namjoon actually not feeling it during those times? Was he pushing himself in bed, wanting to make Hoseok happy?
Namjoon, however, looks horrified at Yoongi’s suggestion. He shakes his head so fast it’s almost comical.
“No, I… actually, I still enjoy sex on my off-days. I… I…” he looks down at the fruit bowl, blushing. “I… You guys make me feel good, you know?”
He squeezes Hoseok’s hand, and Hoseok squeezes back. He knows Namjoon is being honest.
It’s good, Hoseok thinks, that they’ve all had this talk. Having seven people in a relationship is already complicated enough. They don’t need stuff like horny superpowers to muddy up the waters even more. It’s always nice to clear things up, once in a while.
Namjoon works in the open space that night, on the shiny long table with the potted plants. Jungkook and Seokjin are making out right in front of him, both naked. Jimin is strutting around the place, dragging Taehyung on a leash. Namjoon types away furiously with one hand, the other hand gently petting Yoongi—who’s on the ground giving him a blowjob—on the head.
“Join the party, ‘Seok,” Yoongi says, as he stops to catch his breath. “Namjoon is working so hard, making money for our little family. Such a wonderful man. Husband material.”
So Hoseok calmly strips and joins the party.
His boyfriends sure are a weird bunch, but he wouldn’t change them for the world.
**
In the first few months when they started living together, Hoseok had no idea what Seokjin’s superpower was. All he knew was that the guy spent a ridiculous amount of time in the bathroom—so much that one of the two bathrooms in the household had become known as “Seokjin’s bathroom”, even though everyone could technically use it if it were free.
He also knew that Seokjin’s sleeping hours were irregular, all over the place. He ended up with dark circles under the eyes sometimes, from how little he slept. Sometimes he’d spend the whole night in his bathroom. Hoseok would try to listen outside the door, but never heard anything. When prodded, Seokjin would simply wink and say hyung’s busy saving the world. Hoseok wondered if Seokjin was some sort of superhero who, well, instead of changing in a phone booth, transformed in the bathroom instead. But he also knew that Seokjin didn’t share Taehyung’s type of ability since Seokjin always said that “it seems exhausting”, thus implying that he himself didn’t have it. Therefore, Hoseok knew that Seokjin couldn’t have teleported out of the bathroom either.
He finally finds out on a Friday night—a long time ago, back when Jungokook wasn’t even in the picture.
He remembers the day fondly. The six were having their usual weekly big-dinner-plus-boardgame night. It was the boyfriends’ favorite tradition, a time when they could all let loose and drink the week’s woes away.
Hoseok knew that everyone had been looking forward to the night after a day of hard work, so even though he happened to be feeling a bit under the weather—nothing serious, probably, just a migraine—he still slapped a huge smile on his face and forced himself to get into party mood. It was something he was good at. He was pretty sure no one noticed something was off, even when the inside of his head was pounding to the rhythm of the music they were blasting, even when every burst of laughter sent a blast of white light flashing across his vision.
No one would suspect a thing, he thought, because he was a lightweight, everyone knew that, everyone would think he’s drunk anyway. No one would suspect a thing, which was good, he thought, exactly how he wanted it. Everyone had been looking forward to Friday night. He wouldn’t ruin it for them if his life depended on it.
But it was loud. Everyone was so loud. It hurt. Hoseok stumbled into the bathroom, closed the door, and slumped onto the toilet seat. His head was throbbing, but everyone was having so much fun and he couldn’t ruin it, there were black dots dancing in front of his eyes but he’d be fine, he just needed to sit here a little bit and then—
Are you okay? Seokjin’s voice asked. Hoseok whipped his head up, looking around like a madman. Was he imagining things? He was still all alone in the bathroom, but he could’ve sworn that the voice sounded very, very close. Like, right next to his ear. Inside his ear, even.
Hmm, it must be the migraine making him hear things. Or his imagination.
It’s not your imagination, the voice said. Hi, it’s your Seokjin-hyung! When I’m sitting on the toilet, I can read the minds of anyone who’s also sitting on the toilet. I used my ability to construct a whole information network where I help people in the superhero force get to the right place at the right time. Are you okay, Hobi? You seemed kinda woozy back there. You sure you’re okay? Hobi? Hobi? Hoseok?
Oh, so that’s what hyung’s been doing inside the bathroom all along, how nice, hyung really is a superhero, Hoseok thought in his half-dazed stupor, and the next thing he knew the bathroom door was flung open and Namjoon was hoisting him up onto his back. Everyone was speaking all at once, but Hoseok barely registered what they were saying. What he did register, though, was that they’ve put him into bed and turned off the music and everyone was talking in hushed tones now so it was nice and quiet. Moose nuzzled him on the chin and curled up around his neck like a warm, fuzzy scarf. It was nice.
It turned out to be just a bad cold, and Hoseok was up and about within days. His boyfriends made him promise to never keep his illnesses from them again. Hoseok promised, of course.
After all, it’s impossible to hide it when you’re feeling sick when one of your boyfriends is a toilet mind-reader, right?
**
Jimin knows that something is off the moment he opens the door. The interior of their loft smells like some sort of flower, a very faint sweetness that he’s never smelt before. He wonders if the others would find it revolting, but none of them seem to notice, all busy lugging in the bags of groceries, except for Jungkook who can’t carry anything over two kg and is therefore just there for emotional support.
“What?” Seokjin asks, noticing Jimin sniffing the air like a curious puppy. Jimin shakes his head.
“I don’t know. Hobi-hyung’s supposed to be home, right? Hobi-hyung?”
He wanders deeper into their home, calling for Hoseok. Strange. Hoseok is supposed to be at home. He lost at rock paper scissors and was therefore in charge of doing the laundry while the rest of them go grocery shopping.
The house doesn’t smell like laundry. Nor does it smell like Hoseok. It just smells faintly like flowers, like someone who doesn’t belong here had been inside, and their smell is lingering behind.
“Something doesn’t seem right,” Jimin tells the others. Normally this wouldn’t be a worrying circumstance. There are tons of very valid reasons for Hoseok to not be inside the house. But… but the smell is just wrong.
“If something’s wrong, at least we have a witness,” Yoongi says, holding up Moose, who is meowing very eagerly, paws kneading the air.
Jimin pulls off his shirt and slutdrops to the ground, showcasing his very wonderful ass. Namjoon looks, blushes, and begins to meow rapidly at the cat, one hand in his crotch (Namjoon’s, not the cat’s).
“Someone broke in and took Hobi,” he concludes, solemnly. “Moose saw it but there wasn’t much he could do, so he hid under the sofa.”
“It’s not your fault, little one,” Jimin tells the distraught cat.
“This isn’t even the first time,” Yoongi grumbles, “damn those greedy people who always want Hoseok for his fast wi-fi.”
“At least we’re prepared for it since it isn’t the first time,” Seokjin tells Jungkook, who is standing there looking horrified. “We hadn’t met you yet the last few times it happened so you wouldn’t know, but Hobi is actually pretty used to people carrying him off like a mobile hotspot so he probably won’t be that scared, just annoyed, and they never hurt him because that slows down the wi-fi, and besides hyung is in contact with many superheroes on my toilet network, so don’t you worry—he’ll be fine and we’ll find him in no time.”
Jungkook gulps tearfully, and Yoongi holds him with gentle arms, whispering soothing words. Yoongi understands the best what it’s like to have a useless superpower, what it’s like to feel helpless just standing there watching your cool boyfriends do their cool things.
Seokjin sits down on the toilet seat and leaps up within a minute. “Found him, they’re keeping him at the junkyard behind the Global Gym.”
“Good,” Taehyung says triumphantly. “I’ve taken showers at that gym before.”
“I’ll tell someone there to leave a shower running for you. But hey, you can’t take down all the kidnappers alone. My contacts said they saw four of them, maybe more,” Seokjin says, even as Taehyung is already stepping into the shower stall without bothering to strip. “It’s unfortunate that none of us have combat-type superpowers, but some of my contacts who can fight will be meeting up with you there in a bit and—”
“Let me come with you, hyung,” Jungkook pipes up. Taehyung stares. Everyone stares. Jungkook is the family’s shy baby who can’t pick up anything that’s over two kilos. Must protect Jungkook at all costs is the motto of all six boyfriends.
“Are you sure? It’s not safe,” Yoongi whispers, voice so gentle. You don’t have to prove anything to us. We know you can’t fight, but we love you just the same.
“I might not be able to pick up things, but I can still throw a punch.” Jungkook gestures at his own biceps. “Please?”
Jungkook’s big bunny eyes are shining with unshed tears at the thought of his sunshine hyung being all tied-up and afraid. Like, Jin-hyung did say Hoseok’s probably more annoyed than afraid, but still. Jungkook bites his lips. His chin wobbles.
“Okay, okay,” Taehyung says hastily. “Come with me.”
“Keep him safe,” Namjoon mouths as Taehyung flashes everyone a V sign and pulls Jungkook close under the showerhead, and the two vanish from sight.
**
Out of Hoseok’s six boyfriends, Jungkook is the one who feels the most like an enigma to him. He’s the newest addition to the household after all, and he’s understandably a bit shy and often down on himself due to his lack of ability to perform basic life skills. Hoseok supposes he’d be down on himself too if he couldn’t even lift a slightly larger bottle of water or pick up the family cat.
But it’s not Jungkook’s fault that he was born like that, and Hoseok makes sure to tell him so as often as he can. And it’s not like any of them fell in love with Jungkook for solely his muscles, right? It’s not like any of them are disappointed to find that he can’t lift weights or carry them bridal style. They love Jungkook for who he is, for his sparkling eyes and soft determination and golden personality. If dating Jungkook means having the world’s cutest boy come to them daily, whispering in a meek voice hyung, can you help me pick up my laptop? then all the better, right?
Yes, Jungkook is an enigma indeed. But he does show Hoseok that he loves him in his own cute little ways, with hugs and kind words and endearing doodles. He loves making everyone food, and writing them sentimental melodies on the piano, and taking sneak photos of them with his super lightweight camera. When Jungkook first moved in, he was so quiet that Hoseok sometimes wondered whether he really liked anyone here or was just here for the wi-fi, but now he knows that even if he doesn’t speak it much, Jungkook is made of love.
And so Hoseok watches, mouth agape, as a dripping-wet Jungkook, with an also wet Taehyung in tow, stumbles into the junkyard where he’s tied up. The men holding Hoseok hostage look up from their computers, where they’re busy downloading all the HD porn their hearts could desire.
“What?” Says one of the men. Hoseok doesn’t really mind them. This isn’t his first rodeo. People usually let him go after they downloaded all the things they need, and personally Hoseok finds it kind of hilarious.
“R-release my hyung,” Jungkook stammers, trying his best to look intimidating. It’s absolutely not working.
“Are you kidding me, boy,” another kidnapper, some dude with puke-colored hair, says, taking his eyes off his screen for a second to glare at Jungkook.
And then his eyes widen. There’s a look in them that Hoseok doesn’t like. After all, Taehyung and Jungkook are very good-looking, and the fact that they’re wet and their clothes are practically transparent by now isn’t really helping.
The puke-haired guy stands up, takes a step towards the two.
“Don’t you dare think about it,” Hoseok says, automatically, even though he’s very aware that he’s at a disadvantage here, being all tied up.
Puke-hair turns to him, guffaws. “You think you have any say in what I can or can’t do? You piece of—”
He raises a hand, and Hoseok braces himself for the impact.
Except it doesn’t come. An old grand piano comes flying at the guy, knocking him down to the ground.
The other kidnappers all stand up, suddenly aware that they’re in a fight. One pulls out a gun—though it doesn’t look like he has any idea how to use it—and then…
And then Jungkook throws a car at him. The pistol skids out of his hand. The other men all run away screaming, though not before grabbing their laptops—priorities, Hoseok supposes.
Taehyung rushes over to untie Hoseok, while Jungkook stands there staring at his own hands.
“What did I do?” He whispers, looking absolutely mystified.
“Your curse is gone!” Taehyung exclaims. “You can lift things now! Maybe… maybe you saw them about to hurt Hoseok-hyung, and you saw red, and in an instant your curse is just gone?”
“I have no idea,” Jungkook says, wringing his hands and looking on the verge of tears.
“Let’s see if it’s really gone,” Taehyung suggests, attempting to climb into Jungkook’s arms, which only leads to them both crumpling to the ground in a spectacular heap of failure.
“You can pick up a car, but you can’t pick up me,” Taehyung murmurs, frowning. They look very cute in a pile on the ground, still wet and very muddled, and Hoseok’s heart melts out of love.
They eventually set out to conduct a series of tests to figure out exactly what Jungkook can or can’t do. After he picks up five cruise ships without batting an eye, they finally come to the conclusion that Jungkook’s ability is that he can’t pick up anything weighing above two kilos and under two hundred kilos, but can pick up everything outside of that range, which means that anything over two hundred kilos is fair game. Seokjin begins introducing him to his superhero league friends. Sometimes the guys would all stack upon each other so that Jungkook can carry them all at once, since he can’t do it individually.
But that all comes later. Right now, Hoseok just wants to go home and cuddle with his boyfriends because sitting there in an uncomfortable chair all tied up can be very tiring.
So they go home through the gym shower. Everyone is excited to see Hoseok back safe and sound, including Moose, and Yoongi quickly whips up a big dinner, over which they all avidly discuss on future ways to better safekeep Hoseok from kidnappers (they always think they’ve come up with absolutely fool-proof plans after each kidnapping attempt, but with so many weird superpowers existing in this world they soon realized that kidnappers would always find new ways).
And as Hoseok falls asleep that night with a cat on his face, arms around an invisible but warm and cuddly Yoongi, surrounded on all sides by his other five boyfriends who all have strange powers but are always trying their best to use them for good, he knows that he’s loved, and not only for his speedy wi-fi.
Because each and every one of his boyfriends is so much more than their powers, and Hoseok knows that he’s the same.