Chapter Text
You know what I like about Autumn? The leaves. Yeah, it has to be that. The sound of the leaves crunching under my feet. Their low cries as my boots collide with their dead bodies. Their screams for help as I continue to walk-like a god-through the many paths of Trost Park. Somehow, it always makes me tremble- and I like it. 'I like feeling powerful for once instead of helpless' I thought as I continued to stroll through Trost Park. Listening to the many shameless whispers as they beg for mercy under my feet; gave me strength to live another day. And my answer? It was the same as it was yesterday. It always remained the same. I refuse to give them "mercy". I denied them such a thing for what is mercy? Something I've never had nor understood since I was five. Now, it wasn't my fault. It's just they chose the wrong day to be weak. They always did. Was this destiny? No. Such a thing didn't exist. It was anything but that. It was simply a choice. They should have never fell on my path. They should have been strong like me. All of those many colorful leaves chose to be weak. Easy as that. They all chose to let go- but me? I would've never fell so easily. Falling is the first sign of being weak. And I am not. It's like my father said, "Only the weak fall and the strong -step on those blocking their path." Those leaves just so happened to be blocking my path.
The sounds of the old, dead leaves continued to echo under my feet as my friends began to erupt with laughter. Possibly at another offensive joke Connie and Jean found on the internet. Yeah, their laughter will forever be my happiest memories. Memories I will cherish for the rest of my life.
"Marco, what are you doing!?" Jean shouted a me.
"Yeah! Hurry up or we're gonna be late." Connie added.
"Pfft. Alright, alright. I'm comin' guys." A spark of laughter began to echo in my chest as my feet continued to stumble over lost twigs and dead leaves. My friends need for me to hurry always felt refreshing and peace was happily in the air- that is until a certain boy with an undercut began shouting- causing by passers to stop right in their tracks. Their faces twisted with distaste and shock- for the swears and insulting screams were something you wouldn't want your child to overhear. Jean was yelling at someone on his cellphone; screaming obscenities to the world and cursing the inhabitants without hesitation. This in return somehow caused me to smile for I can understand why he was so angry. My first guess would be that his mother drunk dialed him again. My second guess would be he lost the bet he made about Sasha and Connie being a "couple". We all know they are but they just don't know it yet- if that makes sense. But that's besides the point. Jean's mother was another person we all wished would just burn in hell for she was a very fucked up individual. She was a ruthless drunk who thought that a good pounding from a stranger could make any day a little better- especially if that individual offered to buy her a drink first. She was a young woman with venom in her words and curves at her waist that'd put any man in his place. Because of this list of traits, she found it necessary to kick Jean out every time she had a guest- no matter the weather or the time.Sadly, God would never allow such a woman to coexist in Hell for she would probably overthrow the Devil himself. The thought of Jean's mother with horns and a little red cap was enough to make me burst out in a fit of chuckles. This shocked most of my group for I was not one to normally laugh out loud. Especially in public. Laughter is something I'm not used to for that would mean I am happy. I am not and I'm pretty sure I never will be. You can thank my fucked up father for that. He always had to tear down my dreams with his constant screaming and enraged outbursts. Sometimes I would take it- like the good little boy I am; but most times I just couldn't stay quiet. I had to retaliate. I had to speak up. That's just the way it is.
My friends, on the other hand, definitely made me a better person- that was for sure. I know I will forever be proud to call all of them my friends; for they all are so different. I guess that's why I love them. Jean and Eren were always fighting about something childish. It was always about who was smarter or who was better at sex. Always something like that. Now I didn't mind their occasional bickering but some days I wished they'd just get along. Connie and Armin, on the other hand, are sometimes more of a handful than Eren and Jean. Armin was always trying to rationalize Connie's disrespectful behavior while Connie was just trying to have a good time. This always caused quite a debate over who was more mature. Neither were but I think that's better left unsaid. That just left Sasha, Mikasa and Annie, who were always bystanders through the continuously pathetic arguments. Occasionally giving their opinions as they tried to hide a misplaced giggle. Those boys were quite a show. They all were. And they were all so very precious to me. They all made my life better for they were lost- just like me. Lost souls looking for a way out of these fucked up times we labeled our lives.They were just those kind of kids. We all were. Ones that laughed at others pain to distract ourselves from our own. But can you really blame us. We all needed a distraction. Especially on Halloween. These were our final days to be ourselves without worrying about the consequences. No regrets could possibly brush pass us. They simply just didn't exist. In those days, our constant chattering and offensive laughter at others were precious to us; for our youth was fading. Our lives became more harsh as our legal guardians became more overwhelmed with this heartless town.
We finally reached Eren's house- well, technically shared apartment- when the street lights started to flicker on. They were always dim and had an annoyingly continuous buzz. Just like they did yesterday. It was just more background noise though as Connie uttered another racist joke about some minority; causing Jean to laugh. Eren struggled to hold back a chuckle while Armin tried his best to appear displeased. He was trying to be more mature. Always trying to be a better man than his father was. Still that didn't stop the smirk that playfully pulled at the edge of his lips. I swear that kid had no humanity when it came to racism. That he inherited from his father. Jean was the first one to knock on the door. A little too hard if I might add.
"Hey Mikasa! Open the door! " Jean shouted.
He obviously forgot where we were because as soon as he said that Old Man Woerman stumbled out of his apartment. Jean immediately froze as the man began to stagger over to us.
"Fuck Jean..." Connie murmured.
"Now that old cock gobbler is goin' to yell at us..."
"Good goin' Jean." Eren hissed as he roughly elbowed Jean in the ribs.
This just left Jean defenseless as he began to justify himself and his wild behavior. This was executed with a number of countless self defending hand gestures- which, of course, caused Connie and Eren to groan in unison at his stupidity. His reasons always left us baffled for they were always such pathetic excuses. By the end of his six second crazy explanation, we all were tired- of his excuses- and in desperate need of a smoke break. Jean suddenly stopped mid sentence as we all turned to hear Old Man Woerman vomiting his guts out. Apparently, he had started back eating again. That was a surprise. His current health still didn't stop him from sending us bitter glares as he continued to wobble over to us- the smell of vomit still lingered in the air.
Worry and fear painted our faces as Connie unconsciously began to bang on the door harder. Old Man Woerman was a hopeless meth head- who always seemed to be going through some type of withdrawal. No amount of meth or cocaine could put that man at ease, I swear. I guess that's why he found it necessary to shout at us kids- because he missed when he was one. After ten seconds of slurred swears and angry mumbles, the old creep finally stood in front of us.