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The thought of having a family of her own had crossed Regina’s mind several times throughout her life.
It wasn’t like she felt that she desperately needed one; if Regina was honest, she was more than happy with her life, and she always made sure her loved ones knew how much they meant to her. Her friends were her family and Regina wouldn’t have it any other way.
But sometimes, during Winden’s notorious cold rainy nights, Regina would lay awake and wonder what it would be like to wake up knowing that the next day she would see her family. She’d imagine a lovely man by her side and a sweet gentle boy. She knew she didn’t need a husband, or a man (anyone, really), to have a little one, but it was hard to get the dream out of her mind. She also knew that she didn't need a baby to have a family. But she just had this feeling like that was what her family was meant to look like.
She'd fall asleep wondering if time would eventually lead her down this path.
She'd figured she'd wait to know.
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Regina supposed that the man and little boy of her ideal family were an accumulation of her dreams and wishes from throughout the years.
She reasoned that everything started with the dreams of a young man she used to have as a teenager.
When she was a teenager, she had, on occasion, dreamt of meeting a young man with dark hair and striking blue eyes. Nothing ever happened in the dreams, and Regina found that she never minded; his company was more than enough.
In these dreams, they would always be in the forest. Sometimes his hand would be on her arm, providing her with a sense of comfort like none she had ever felt before. Other times, they would be sitting on a fallen tree trunk, holding hands, fingers intertwined and looking intensely into each other’s eyes.
But no matter how often she would have those dreams, and no matter how often she tried to keep her memory fresh, she could never remember his face all that well. The dream would always fade, leaving with nothing but the sensation of his warmth and the promise that one day they would meet each other.
She'd figured she had to wait for that moment.
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.
.
She waited and waited until she eventually forgot about the guy of her dreams.
She decided to live in the here and now, and not in another plane of reality.
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.
.
More often than not, Regina tried to take the first step towards any guy she seriously liked.
However, it took her a little too long to realize that she'd was always subconsciously trying to see if he was as close as to her dream guy.
She didn’t know what to make of that.
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Regina wouldn’t have any dreams, or thoughts, regarding the guy of dreams until she was around her thirties. After having dating and some failed relationships, she had sometimes wondered what would have happened if things had been different. Had the guy in her teenage years been nothing but her wishful thinking after watching movies, reading magazines, and seeing her friends having relationships? Was she just trying to fulfill a teenage wish? Was she not facing her reality as an adult?
Was it really that hard to find someone she could spend time with? Was it really that hard to find someone she could share her hopes and dreams? Was it really hard to fail herself and her expectations? Was her life always going to be like this? Was it impossible for her to find someone that could give her the same feelings like the guy in her dreams? Was it wrong to hope of one day having a family of her own? Because no matter how much she tried, she could never see a future with any of the men that had formed part of her life.
Was it wrong for her not to want to wait anymore?
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.
Maybe it was time for her to let go.
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She was surprised when one day, after hearing a comment from her mother, Regina had dreamt of the dream guy again. This time, however, he had aged as much as she had.
Once again, like in the dreams of her youth, nothing happened. They had merely looked at one another, just like they had done back in her teenage dreams, and they hugged.
How much she had missed this warmth.
It was like they were old friends who hadn’t seen each other in such a long time. It was as if life had pulled them away in different directions but had given them the opportunity to meet again. She wanted so hard to tell him about everything – about the good and the bad, about the hopes and dreams, about the expectations and the pressure, about the past and the future… about so much…
But Regina found that she didn’t need to say anything in the dream; she just knew that the hug conveyed it all.
Even within the dream, Regina wondered how much she would forget once she woke up.
Regina woke up that morning with a smile on her face.
For the first time, she realized that she could actually remember his face, his voice, and the small conversation they had held.
She didn’t care if it was silly or delusional – she just knew that their paths could cross soon.
“We’ll meet soon, Regina. I promise.”
“I’ll wait.”
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It didn’t take long for them to meet each other.
Their fateful meeting occurred one November day at Waldhotel Winden.
Business had been slow that week, with almost all the rooms being empty, and he had happened to come by without a reservation. Regina had been going over some numbers, glasses on and her hair in less than ideal conditions (her mother would reprimand her for not “combing” her curls, but what was Regina supposed to do?), when she had looked up to see the new guest.
The first time she saw Boris Niewald something clicked, and she got a sense of déjà vu.
It was him.
It was really him.
He was real, and she was meeting him.
She knew it like she knew that her name was Regina Doppler.
That was the only time Regina was ever grateful for slow business and for people who make last minute meeting cancellations.
All they had to do was look at each and exchange a few words and they both felt it.
They just connected.
Everything else was easy.
The waiting was over.
. . .
Although their relationship had began long-distance, Regina and Boris made it work, for their trust and love came naturally.
Only once did Regina have a concern regarding their relationship. It was really silly.
She had once asked Boris if maybe – just maybe – he had changed his name or if he was hiding something from her, because she refused to believe that such a perfect man existed. He had laughed and had told her that his one secret was that he had always wanted a cooler name than Boris. At that Regina didn’t know whether to laugh or be worried that she had been living in a fantasy.
. . .
If Regina was completely honest with herself, her biggest concern regarding their relationship was her mother’s opinion. She loved her mother with all her heart, but she was aware that meeting Claudia’s standards was nothing easy. But thank goodness for Boris's confidence; he was an even more confident man when they had decided that it was time to introduce him to Claudia.
Claudia had simply arched an eyebrow and had looked at Boris from head to toe, as if she were deciding whether he was fit to be part of the family. She conducted a series of questions – almost like an interview – and he replied with nothing but the truth. Regina had been too nervous to realize that Claudia was too amused by the situation, and Boris seemed to be playing along. Although Claudia wouldn’t admit it, she happened to liked his attitude, and she felt like he was the one for her daughter (although in Claudia’s eyes, no one was ever the best for her daughter).
. . .
It wasn’t like Regina didn’t believe that certain things weren’t in the cards for her, but she had been prepared to never marry. So, she was more that surprised and happy when Boris had asked her to share her life with him. She was more than okay with just having him in her life (and occasionally entertaining the idea of living together).
Surprising everyone, including herself, Regina delivered the news of her engagement to Boris during one of her famous get-togethers. She hadn’t expected for their relationship to develop the way it had, but it was hard explaining the others the inexplicable bond that they felt for one another. It was like they were fated to be together, like they had known each other in an infinite amount of timelines and lifetimes. Nonetheless, everyone had congratulated them and had given them their best wishes.
. . .
Their wedding occurred shortly after and they had moved in together to the home they had bought. It was very modern looking and beautiful, with more than enough space to invite friends and family over.
She couldn’t be happier.
However, in the back of her head, or maybe her gut, she felt like something, or someone, was missing to complete this circle of happiness.
. . .
Regina couldn’t pinpoint why she left like she was missing something or someone, until she saw Hannah and her baby Jonas, who was a couple of months old.
As she held Jonas for a few moments while Hannah got something to eat, Regina felt a déjà vu. Holding Jonas reminded her of the sensation of having a baby in her arms, only that the baby had been different, and Regina knew that had never held a baby until that moment.
Then it hit her…
That night she dreamt of Boris and a baby boy. Once again, nothing happened in the dream, but for Regina, it meant everything.
In the dream, Boris was the one holding the baby. He did nothing more than smile tenderly at the baby, and Regina wanted to cry. She got closer to them and gently kissed their son’s head.
The baby was so small, his skin so soft, and his eyes a lovely brown. She wanted nothing more than to tell him how much his father and mother loved him. She wanted nothing more than to meet him.
She woke up with a deep yearning she hadn’t felt in years.
She wanted to him.
The feeling of the dream stayed with her all day. She even found herself wondering how it would be to handle the hotel and a baby at the same time.
When she went back to her home, Boris greeted her with a smile and a kiss. There wasn’t a day when he didn’t receive her with such affections; it didn’t even feel like he was trying to make sure for their "lost" years, it just felt like the most natural thing in the world.
Regina would never tired of his small touches and comforting words, but when she didn’t give him with the same affections as always, Boris noticed that something was off.
“Is everything okay?” he asked her, his hand on her shoulder.
Regina nodded, but when she didn’t reply, Boris told her, “You know you can always talk to me. I love you, Regina.”
Regina felt her eyes water as she nodded again. "I love you too." She kissed him on the check before gathering her courage to ask him what was running in her head. “What do you think about children?” They had very briefly spoken about it before getting married.
“Starting a family?” he asked with a serious expression.
“Yes,” she replied. “It doesn’t have to be big; it could just be us and a little one.”
Boris stayed quiet and Regina started to think that maybe it wasn’t a good idea. Hannah had gotten lucky; Regina wasn’t sure if she was able to have children. She knew it wasn’t an impossibility, but she knew it would be harder. And what would happen to their child when she and Boris were older?
“It’s okay with you’re not okay with it,” Regina told him as she played with her hair. “It’s just that holding Jonas – Hannah’s baby – made me wonder what it would be like to hold a baby that looks like you.”
Boris smiled. “I think the baby would look just like you. I’d be more than happy to start a family with you.” He softly kissed her lips. “And remember, no pressure. If it happens, it happens; if it doesn’t, I’m more than happy to have you in my life, Regina.”
She beamed. "I can't wait to start."
. . .
Surprisingly, it didn’t take long for Regina to become pregnant. She had expected to wait for months, had prepared herself to not get her hopes too high in case nothing happened. She knew they would be sad, but if they had each other, things would be okay. But Regina and Boris, as well as Claudia – who had never thought of seeing herself as a grandmother – were beyond happy at the news of a new member to their small family.
Claudia had smirked in the awkward scientific way she did, while Regina had had tears in her eyes, and Boris had grinned, holding her hands and leaning in to kiss her.
She could hardly wait.
Once they shared the news with others, everyone was happy for them, excited to meet the newest member of Winden’s population.
. . .
Maybe she could wait.
The following weeks and months were as expected and it was eventful. She found that she needed moments to recollect herself, as much as she wanted to meet the baby, she wanted to be well-prepared. There was so much to do, so much to learn, so little time! There were doctor appointments, mood swings, cravings, carefully planned meals, new clothes, wish lists, preparing the nursery, and so much more.
When they found out that they were having a boy, Regina already knew, deep within her soul, what the perfect name would be. She even knew how their little one would look like. Drowning in happiness, she shared the name with Boris who, although shocked, smiled tenderly at her.
He placed his hand on her round belly, feeling their son kick, and he told her softly, “I was thinking of that same name.”
. . .
Two weeks before their son is born, her loved ones surprised her with a baby shower.
Regina wanted to cry out sheer happiness.
This is all for you my little baby, she thought with a hand on her belly.
Hannah, who had Jonas in her arms, reminded Regina that anything she needed, she was more than willing to give out a hand. Even Katharina had offered her any help that she could provide as the designated aunt of the group.
Regina beamed, her pregnancy glow making her outshine everyone in the room, beyond grateful for the tremendous amount love and support that she and Boris were receiving from everyone.
As little Jonas made happy noises, and Hannah bounced her baby, she got closer to Regina, laughed as she whispered, “Maybe your baby and mine will be best friends.”
Her baby kicked as a sign of confirmation.
“I get the feeling that they will be very good friends. I can't wait for them to meet.”
. . .
The day their son is born, Regina and Boris are drowning in an overwhelming sense of love with a side of déjà vu.
After hours of labor, months of planning, years of waiting, he was finally here, their family was complete, and no amount of preparation would ever make ready them for the feelings that their son would provide them with.
With the baby in Regina’s arms, she and Boris both look at their newborn son and say,
“Welcome home, Bartosz.”