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It was dark outside when Remus walked to his boss’s office.
He leaned a shoulder against the doorframe as the man looked up, eyebrows raised. “Still here old chap?”
Remus let himself clench a fist behind his back. “Took a fair while to finish that stock take Albert, but I’ve got everything from room 2, 3 and 4 taken care of.“
Albert looked back at his book. “How are those new shelves in room 1?”
Remus breathed through his nose. “Just a few to go, I’ll be in first thing to sort them out so we’ll be ready for the inspection.”
“Inspection was moved to next Friday.”
Remus’s mouth hung open for a solid five seconds before he gathered himself. “…Oh.”
He blinked. Took another deep breath. “Alright, well, I’ll be off then.”
Albert nodded. “Don’t forget to close up on the way out.”
Remus breathed deeply. He knew he enabled Albert. From his very first day he’d said yes to every one of his requests, and always worked overtime so he could finish the job.
Make yourself ‘indispensable’ they had advised him. Be indispensable and you might just keep your job when he realizes what you are.
The problem with being an indispensable werewolf was that you immediately hit a brick wall: you were needed, but not wanted. Employed but not valued.
Remus shook his head. God, he was so tired he could feel it in his bones.
The rain outside soaked through his coat before he could apparate to his building.
Remus never liked apparating, but it was worse on an empty stomach and a 14 hour shift. It threw his balance off, and even with his hand hastily slammed against his front door, the keys he’d fished from his pocket just slipped from his fingers.
Remus huffed. God he was tired. He knew he should eat. Sort his clothes. Tidy the flat. Do the washing. Take a shower. Pay his bills. Everything felt like a mountain he had yet to climb.
When a frazzled, grumpy Remus Lupin eventually stumbled into his apartment he was so pissed off that he didn’t notice the two men in his kitchen until he was right behind them.
Remus stopped short.
Sirius Black and James Potter stood side by side at his stovetop, fighting over seasoning.
“I said oregano you absolute potato” James shoved Sirius, leaning past him to grab the little glass pot.
Remus blinked. The kitchen opened out onto a living room that had clearly been tidied since the boys arrived. The lights were on low, and his record player sat, spinning a gentle melody in the corner.
“Honey, you’re home!” James turned, wooden spoon in hand and frilled apron tied around his waist.
“Guys, what are you…?” Remus felt a lump in his throat.
“You know, usually when you invite friends over for dinner, the idea is to be there.” Sirius’s smile faltered a little as his eyes swept up and down.
Remus slapped a hand to his forehead. “Fuck. It’s Thursday, isn’t it? Fuck I just completely forgot, I’m so sorry, what an absolute—“
“Don’t be an idiot, Re we’re just teasing.” Sirius was at his side, voice soft as he tugged Remus’ arms out of his wet jacket. He made a face as he felt the soaked material, casting a drying charm and hanging up the coat before Remus could stop him.
“Sit down, you look exhausted.”
It took a half-hearted protest from Remus, and one nudge from Sirius to collapse backwards on the sofa.
James’s eyebrows had knit together as he fished in Remus’s cupboard for a glass. “Mate, did you go out for drinks or something?”
Remus shook his head, “Just working late. Did you…fix my record player?”
James pressed a glass of water into Remus’s hands and winked. “Might have done.”
Sirius, who was now charming plates to clean themselves in the sink, spun around. “Wait, you were at work this whole time?”
Remus shrugged. “Doing stocktake for an inspection.”
“You’re joking.” James said darkly. “When did you start this morning?”
Remus sighed “It’s fine. Is what it is.”
Sirius wasn’t about to take that for an answer. “Uh, no it’s not, when did you start?”
Remus winced, he couldn’t be bothered to fight it. “…6.”
Sirius’s face darkened. “You’re fucking kidding me.”
Remus sighed. “Nope.” He felt a twinge of guilt twist through his chest. He’d walked into his own dinner party hours late and was letting his own guests look after him while he complained.
He hauled himself off the sofa. “Anyway, let me help—“
The world spun again and Remus swayed, knocking into the side table.
“Absolutely fucking not.” Sirius was at his side again, looping an arm over his shoulders. “You’re coming with me.”
“Hm—what’re you doing?” Remus was suddenly distracted by the way his body was so warm against his.
“The question is what are you doing, and the answer to that is nothing. Apart from taking a shower and eating the dinner we’re making you.”
Sirius guided him to the bathroom and sat him down on the laundry hamper while he summoned a fresh set of joggers, soft t-shirt and a fluffy white towel. They folded themselves neatly over the towel rail.
“Sirius, you don’t have to do this—“ Remus protested, cheeks colouring.
Sirius turned sharply to look at him. “No, I don’t have to do anything.” He sighed. “But I want to.”
He fixed Remus with an earnest look that made his heart flip in his chest.
“Remus you do this, sometimes. You look after everyone and everything else and forget to stop. You’re so good to everyone else you just—“
“I’m not that good—“ Remus shook his head weakly but Sirius sat down on his knees in front of him with those wide eyes and the visual pretty much knocked Remus out.
“Re,” Okay, if the visual hadn’t, the old pet name did. “Re please, I can guarantee that you’re doing an amazing job. You just deserve a thank you and a break right now.”
Remus felt a lump in his throat and an embarrassing amount of moisture in his eyes.
“I don’t think I’m doing that great, Sirius.” His voice cracked at the end and he had to look away. “I can’t even remember our dinner dates.”
“Listen to me, Rem.” Sirius took his hands in his own and squeezed until Remus couldn’t resist looking at those puppy dog eyes.
“You are doing well.” His voice was low and deliberate. “Everything is harder for you because of something you can’t control, and it’s not fair, but even so you have a job and a flat and friends and family who love you. You deserve every single one of those things and more. But Rem, you have to take a break sometimes so you can keep doing it all. You have to be as good to yourself as you are to everyone else.”
Sirius tilted Remus’s chin up and spotted the tears welling up there, just as his bottom lip trembled. “C’mere.”
Remus hadn’t meant to do it, but he let his head drop right into Sirius’s shoulder, and the rest of his body crumpled with it. He felt Sirius pull him further into his lap and circle his arms around him just as his chest started heaving sobs.
Sirius held Remus tight, tangled on the bathroom floor, until the sobs gave way to deep breaths.
“Sorry.” Re sniffed, eventually.
Sirius shook his head. “Don’t ever apologize to me for feeling things, Re. I want—”
Sirius halted, as if choosing his words carefully. “I always want to be here, Re. For you.”
Remus smiled, heat creeping back into his cheeks. “Me too. I mean, for you.”
In about fifty more ways than he could let on. He let out a breath. “Like there’s much I can do for you.”
“God, Re you do everything for me.” Sirius actually sounded frustrated. “No more talking yourself down or I’ll have to fight you.”
“What?”
Sirius shrugged, as if was obvious. “I fight people that talk bad about you.”
Remus laughed. “Right. Even if I’m one of them?”
Sirius grinned. “Especially if you’re one of them. I’ll take you down.”
Remus was sure the last few words were supposed to be intimidating, but his eyes flickered at the thought of Sirius pinning him to the floor.
Sirius let out a deep breath. “Right then.” He hauled them both up, switching on the shower and throwing a towel at Remus’s face.
“Get naked, gorgeous.”
The door clicked behind him and Remus tried to prevent himself going into cardiac arrest.
—
The rest of the night felt like a dream to Remus. It was like he’d stumbled back into that golden year when they’d all lived together in one flat and spent every night cooking and drinking too much.
Remus’s cheeks had actually started to hurt from laughing, and when he’d stretched out on the sofa he’d caught Sirius’s eyes tracing along that sliver of skin just below his stomach. He’d had enough butterbeer to murmur. “You staying tonight?”
Sirius had looked him dead in the eyes and just said “yes.”
He didn’t remember James leaving. He must have been sleeping on the sofa because he registered Sirius lifting him up. Not by opening his eyes but by the feel of his arms and the scent of his neck.
Remus didn’t think, he just breathed in deeply and curled a hand around his neck.
He didn’t even think when he whined “don’t” as Sirius placed him on the bed and tried to pull away.
Didn’t think when he pulled him under and drifted right back to sleep against his chest.
—
Fuck.
Fuckity fuck.
Remus was very much awake now because Sirius Black was half naked in his bed.
And as a direct result of this Remus’s cock was painfully hard and he was practically delirious. Luckily for him Sirius Black slept like a log.
Unluckily for him his alarm clock had just started blaring at full volume, and as he was desperately reaching across Sirius to get it, he’d pressed himself against Sirius’s side in a way that made it pretty clear just how he felt about sharing this bed.
Remus sighed deeply as he finally shut the damn thing off. But just as he began rolling away he felt a pair of warm hands on his hips and a deep groan.
“Don’t”
Remus’s breath caught. Fuck. Sirius was pulling him back on top of him.
He dropped his hands either side of Sirius’s pillow, all the breath leaving his chest as he felt Sirius’s hard cock grind between his legs.
“Jesus Christ I think I’m still dreaming” Remus murmured.
Sirius made a sleepy, contented sound as he pressed their hips together and yawned.
Remus could have laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation. If he was honest, he still wasn’t convinced he was fully conscious, and there was definitely absolutely no blood in his brain right now, because he decided that, if there was ever a time to say it, this was it.
“You know, I don’t think I can pretend that I don’t want rip your clothes off any longer.”
Sirius actually flipped Remus like he was nothing and suddenly he was staring up at a pair of very awake grey eyes.
“Good, cause neither can I.” He grinned.
Remus choked, “You little shit—“
He was interrupted by a kiss. His first fucking kiss with Sirius and he’d been calling him a little shit. It only took him a split second to switch from incredulous to incredibly fucking horny.
His hand was in Sirius’s hair, finally, fucking finally, he buried his fingers deep in there and tugged, pulling a moan from deep in Sirius’s throat.
“Jesus Christ” Remus swore against his lips “You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to do that.”
Sirius actually growled. “I think I have an idea.”
Remus felt Sirius’s lips, soft but frantic against his own again. This time he felt the bite of teeth against his bottom lip and groaned as Sirius started traveling down his neck, nipping at the soft skin and grinding on top of him.
“This must be real because my dreams aren’t this fucking good” Remus moaned.
Sirius snickered against his neck. “Remus Lupin, I’m only just getting started.”
With that Sirius started kissing down Remus’s neck, biting gently at his collarbones. He ran warm fingers down his sides as he threw the covers back and kissed his way down Remus’s chest, savoring every new piece of skin.
He mouthed at Remus’s clothed cock, hooking his fingers under the waistband of his pants and quickly pulling them back.
“Fuck” He cursed, taking in the sight of Remus’s painfully hard erection. “Fuck you’re better than I imagined. God Re I’ve wanted this for so long.”
Remus’s eyes were wide, the sight of Sirius’s face hovering over his cock was so good it almost made come right there. He twitched hard and Sirius’s eyes flickered.
“Sirius,” He breathed “Sirius I’m going to last two fucking seconds I swear”
Sirius smirked. “We’ll see.”
With that, he took Remus’s entire length down his throat and pulled back up completely.
Remus hissed, toes already clenched. “fuck.”
Sirius let out a breath right over the tip of Remus’s cock and he twitched again, hard.
Sirius hummed approvingly. “Good boy.”
Remus felt that ripple through his whole body. He didn't even know praise was something that turned him on, but he’d quickly realized that anything Sirius did turned him on.
“God the things I’d let you do to me.” He breathed.
Sirius smiled up at him, wrapping his fingers around the base of his cock and licking his lips.
“I hope that’s a promise.”
Remus’s back arched upwards as Sirius trailed his mouth back over his cock. Slowly, this time, so fucking slowly. Remus’s eyes fluttered closed again. He felt like he was floating. Like this couldn’t possibly be true.
He found Sirius’s hand at his hip and twined their fingers together, holding on tighter than he should, letting the press of Sirius’s fingers reassure him he was here, he was real.
Even with Sirius’s mouth working teasingly slow, and his other hand squeezing tight at the base of Remus’s cock, he could feel the tension coiling in his stomach.
“God, Sirius, that’s so good“ He breathed. “Your mouth feels so fucking good.”
The approving hum that vibrated around Sirius’s throat as he took Remus’s cock deeper punched the breath out of his chest.
“Fuck I can’t—Sirius you’re gonna make me…” Remus tried warning him but Sirius just moaned needily, sending more vibrations to his cock, which was now slipping right down his throat as Sirius moved gently, gradually taking him deeper and deeper.
“Jesus fucking christ Sirius” Remus moaned, god he’d never felt anything like this before. “Fuck me that’s good.”
He felt Sirius’s throat contract around a laugh and dug his fingers into the sheets, releasing a stream of curses as he felt that coil in stomach about to release.
“Fuck Sirius you’re gonna make me come so hard, fuck, fuck—“ Remus’s speech melted into moans as Sirius went for it, bobbing his head up and down faster, his whole body clenched and his cock twitched hard in Sirius’s throat.
His vision went white and his ears rang as he came for what felt like minutes, a stream of incoherent curses falling for his mouth.
When Remus opened his eyes again Sirius was on to the pillow next to him, lips pink and pupils blown.
Remus almost closed his eyes again, suddenly blushing hard at Sirius’s gaze.
Sirius laughed incredulously. “Now you blush? Did you hear the things you just said to me?”
Remus blinked and shook his head. “I think my mind left my body.”
Sirius laughed. “Alright.”
Remus took a steadying breath, feeling his wits starting to return to him.
It was at that point that the same shrill beep that had woken them up earlier sounded again.
Remus clenched his fists, cursing and bolting up as he saw the time on the alarm clock and practically threw it across the room.
“Shit. Motherfucking work”
Sirius laughed. “Remus John Lupin, you have one dirty mouth this morning.”
Remus smiled, diving forward to capture Sirius’s lips. “I will do by the time I’m finished with you.”
Sirius smiled into the kiss, pressing Remus’s chest down hard, pinning him back against the bed. “Remus I have to tell you something.”
“What?” Remus followed his lips, barely breaking the kiss.
“You’re not going to work.”
Remus hummed. “No, I’m not.”
Sirius laughed. “No, I mean…I called in sick for you last night.”
Remus’s eyes flew open again. “You did what?!”
Sirius cupped his face, his tone soft. “Obviously I didn’t think this was going to happen. But you deserved a break—you needed a break. So I owled them last night saying I was your flatmate and you’d been really ill and shouldn’t come in.”
Remus balked. “So you lied.”
Sirius’ brows furrowed. “Remus, your mental health is as important as your physical health. If you were sick, I would have been up all night with you, but you weren’t sick you were exhausted and burnt out, so I’m gonna make damn sure you have a break, just the same as I’m gonna bring you soup when you’re ill.”
Remus felt the same lump in his throat again. There were words he wanted to say but they didn’t come out.
Instead he did all he could think to and pulled Sirius into his arms, connecting their lips in a kiss that went slow and soft. He kissed him like he had all day. All week. He tried his best to kiss him like he’d wanted to for years. Like they had the rest of their lives to do this.
When he pulled back, he’d found the words.
“Sirius.” He said evenly. “I’m— I’m yours.”
Sirius smiled, curling his hands around the back of Remus’s neck.
“Damn fucking right you are.”
Remus laughed. “I’m serious though—“
“No, I’m Sirius”
“Sirius!”
“Yes, exactly!”
Remus kicked him under the covers. “I mean it. I know you woke me up with mind blowing sex but—you know I’m” Remus took a breath and locked his eyes with Sirius. “You know I’m all in, right?”
“If by ‘all in’ you mean, already my best friend and already desperately in love with me then yes, I know.”
Remus almost choked. “I—I have to admit I thought you’d be more surprised. Or, this would be more dramatic. I don’t know.”
Sirius grinned. “You told me you loved me five minutes ago when you came.”
“You’re fucking kidding me.” Remus choked out.
Sirius laughed. “Nope.”
His smile turned sly as he bit his lip. “Guess you know what to do to hear it from me.”
Remus shook his head disbelievingly. “I honestly don’t think this is real.”
Sirius took Remus’s face in his hands. “That’s because nothing has changed. We’ve been in love with each other for ten years we were just too stupid to say it. Now we get to fuck, too.”
Remus laughed. “Such a way with words, Black.”
Sirius grinned. “Okay, how’s this?” He shuffled a little to get a better position and fixed Remus with an earnest look, lips creeping upwards.
“Remus John Lupin, I love everything about you. It happened about ten minutes after I first met you, I just had a long, difficult time arguing with a lot of the self-hate that came built-in with my pure blood.”
Remus breath shuttered and he reached for Sirius’s hand.
“I don’t want you to think I’m trivializing this. I just - I already know what you’re like in the morning, and last thing at night. I’ve already shared a bed with you, I’ve already woken up in the night with you. We’ve already argued and screamed at eachother. We’ve already made up a thousand times. We’ve already cried. We’ve already lost people together. I—it’s no wonder it’s kind of an anticlimax to finally admit it. I think we knew this whole time. I’m just—”
Sirius grinned, wiping away a wet tear trail from Remus’s cheek.
“I’m just excited to touch you without having to hold back any more.”
Remus let out a long shaky breath. “Okay. Okay, you win that one.”
Sirius grinned, pulling him in for another soft kiss. “I win everything.”