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Devil Hunter's Guide to Romance

Summary:

You've been apprenticing at Devil May Cry for awhile now, seen a few missions, but Dante and Vergil have been acting a bit weird. Well, weirder than your typical encounters with the half demons.

Notes:

Well this started as a little one shot that was supposed to be pure smut. But apparently I can't do quickies.

Chapter Text

"Okay, I've had enough of this. Why the hell are you being so antagonistic to each other?"

You leveled a gaze at the twin half demons who were, currently, glaring at each other silently.

"More than usual, anyway."

It had been, what, three years that you'd spent apprenticing and eventually hunting alongside the two main hunters at Devil May Cry.

Hell has it really been that long?

The one constant that you had come to expect in your mentor/apprentice relationship was the intense rivalry between Dante and Vergil. But the past few weeks had seen them getting more and more restless. At first you thought it was pent up energy with business slowing down; your first year or so had been dealing with the remnants of the Qliphoth incident and the work after was mostly small cults and summonings.

And the past few months had seen almost no activity at all. Which was a blessing and a curse, it seemed. Humanity had time to breathe and heal from old wounds, you got time to practice and train, but it left the two devils with more time together.

Dante was the first to relax, shrugging his shoulders and giving you a lazy smile that came so naturally to him.

"It's complicated. Devil stuff. Don't worry about it."

"Uh-huh… what, you two getting territorial?"

Vergil scoffed, standing up and making his way to the door. "Hardly, besides if I wanted to I could take this entire city as my own."

"As if I'd sit back and let you." Dante stood abruptly, leveling his gaze at Vergil. The tension was broken by a measured three knocks at the door.

Vergil already had his hand on the doorknob, opening it for Morrison who strode in like he owned the place. Considering how often he had to help Dante with repairs and rent, it wouldn't surprise you if he actually owned the building.

More exciting for you, though, was the thick manilla folder in his hand. A job, and that meant money!

"Good, y'all ain't killed each other yet. Got a gig, probably need all three of ya for this one." He tossed the folder onto the desk in front of Dante, taking a seat and lighting a cigarette.

"Was worried you'd forgotten about us, Morrison!" Dante grinned, sitting back down behind his desk, propping his feet up and skimming through the folder. "Another cult… Oh hey~ got some interesting security camera pictures here. Sure we should bring her along?"

"Let me see! I'll decide for myself, thank you." You snatched the picture Dante had been looking at and studied it yourself. "... You're kidding me. A sex cult? Those are real?"

"Considering things such as incubi and succubi exist, it's not much of a stretch a powerful one could bring a mass of weak minded mortals under their sway." Vergil raised an eyebrow at his brother. "Strange that they should be suddenly so active now after so much quiet."

"Wait you're telling me you lived in the demon world for most of your life and never noticed they have cycles?"

You were surprised that Vergil's eyes could hold that much animosity as he glared daggers at his brother. "I was preoccupied most of my time there."

Dante actually winced at Vergil's icy words. Despite how they acted towards each other you could tell Dante didn't like hurting his brother.

"... Right. Well every five years or so everything up here on the surface gets real quiet. Very few if any outright attacks. The best I can describe it is like a breeding season."

You gave Dante your best poker face. "Wait you're kidding right? That sounds like bullshit, Dante." You couldn't help but chuckle a bit. As far as demon reproduction went you weren't sure you wanted to know. "Is this where you pull a fast one on 'the new guy'?"

"Hey I'm serious! They go quiet up here for a couple months, half a year at most, then next year you get swamped by low power, young demons that barely know how to fight." He shrugged. "It's kind of predictable. Or at least it used to be before that year the Qliphoth popped up."

Vergil looked away from Dante, eyes going down to the Yamato at his side. Whenever the topic of the Qliphoth incident came up, Vergil went quiet. Well, quieter than normal.

"You remember when you first started here, right? Lot of low level demons after a few months of quiet. Trish was the one that suggested so many got killed up here that they got forced into another 'cycle' to bring their numbers back up."

"And now… What? There's a demon out there trying to make half demons like you guys?"

"Incubi and succubi procreate in a different fashion." Vergil cut you off before you could ask how he knew. "First, they feed off of humans in their… Typical way. Normally they stop there, content with sustaining themselves." Crossing his arms across his chest, Vergil leaned back against the wall. "When one of those low ranking scum get it in their heads to reproduce, they gather a flock of humans. They feed off the energy they create through bacchanal debauchery, wild orgies, and through this coupling a child or multiple children will be conceived. It is then that the demon imparts part of this stored energy into the vessel, turning the human child into a corrupted, pitiful thing."

You blinked in surprise. That was the most words you'd ever heard Vergil speak all at once, and you were impressed by his rather intimate and encyclopedic knowledge of various demons.

The room fell silent until Vergil cleared his throat somewhat nervously. "If that is indeed the case, we should be getting ready to leave. The longer we wait, the more likely they will have already begun their depravity."

"I got a ride for y'all, ready and waiting out front." Morrison stood, taking a drag from his cigarette and exhaling slowly. "Get your weapons and hiking boots, the driver can get you close but there's a private drive through a forested area leading up to the location. Some fancy mansion out in the middle of nowhere."

"Yeah, because when I think 'crazy bender and demon fueled orgy' my brain instantly goes to ritzy mansions owned by people with too much money." Dante gave you a smile and a wink as Vergil rolled his eyes.

"I'm ready. Once you two are ready to act professional, meet me at the car." Vergil gave a polite nod to Morrison and went outside, the older gentleman following close behind and leaving you and Dante alone in the front of the office.

--

"Hey… I know Morrison said you should come along, but I think it might not be the best idea." Dante broke the silence as you were both strapping on your holsters and checking your guns.

"What, think I'll get lured in and become a mindless sex doll?" You gave Dante a smirk, but his face was unusually serious.

"It's not you. It's… Me and Vergil. You weren't exactly far from the truth when you joked about being territorial. This 'cycle' stuff affects me too, and I bet Vergil is feeling it too even though he hasn't said anything."

Dante rested a strong hand on your shoulder, ice blue eyes locked on yours.

"I couldn't live with myself if something happened because one of us did something to you. You're part of the team, and we're supposed to have each other's backs."

His hand squeezed your shoulder tightly, causing you to bring your own hand up to his in reassurance.

"Dante… All the more reason I need to come along, right? I can be stubborn and strong willed, both you and Vergil have said that. I won't let myself fall under the influence of whatever crazed sex demon there is in there and I want to make sure you two don't either."

Dante's lips twitched up in a small smile before he exhaled slowly.

"... Fine. But the moment you think either of us is giving in you need to run for it. Get Morrison to get word to Lady and Trish, they can take us down if we end up going wild."

"Deal." You met his smile with one of your own, sliding a gun into your shoulder holster and bumping fists with the older devil hunter. You were both ready, and made your way out to the car and an impatient Vergil.

"Took you two long enough." Vergil looked both of you up and down, his eyes were the same ice blue as Dante's but colder as they looked you over. "We should be getting there an hour before sundown. We go in, kill the demon, and get out. Let the human authorities deal with any humans left in there."

The car Morrison procured was a simple sedan, the driver up front and one of Morrison's information brokers riding shotgun. Knowing that the brothers wouldn't stand sitting next to each other, you waited for Dante to get in before sliding in with Vergil taking up the last seat and closing the door.

No matter how badass you felt sometimes, the sheer presence of the twins made you feel so small as you sat there between them and listened to the intel about the mansion you were headed to. It seemed to be a straightforward gig; make your way up to the front, splitting into three to cover multiple entrances. Take down any demons with lethal force.

After the debrief you all rode in silence with Dante fidgeting next to you trying to get comfortable in a car obviously made for someone smaller. You could feel Vergil's annoyance grow with every shift and movement, with him frowning occasionally at you whenever the road jostled you two into each other.

--

The sky was a beautiful shade of scarlet as the car pulled up to the beginning of the private drive. It went straight into the property before taking a hard curve out of sight into the trees.

Dante got out of the car and stretched out enough that his back clicked a few times before shaking his hands as if itching for a fight.

"Alright. Vergil, you take the entrance on the second floor balcony, I'll make a dashing entrance through the front door, and you," he gestured to you with a big smile, "will cover the back entrance. If anything tries to run from either of us, we'll flush it out towards you and you can finish them off."

Vergil gave you a curt nod, while he was emotionally distant he had praised your abilities before and now both of them were trusting you to not let anything get away.

"I can do that. Just flush them towards me and I'll play whack a mole in that corridor that leads to the back."

Without another word, Vergil shifted into his demonic form. The rush of energy either of them gave off when doing so made the hair on your neck stand on end and sent goosebumps running across your skin. In a flash of blue energy the silver haired man was now a hulking demon; chitinous plates covered most of his body and his irises glowed blue from a monstrous face.

Large wings flapped twice and Vergil was now twenty feet in the air and speeding off towards the mansion like a silent blue comet.

"No fair! I can't move that fast you -"

Dante transformed before you now, similar in form to his twin brother but the veins between his chitin glowed a deep red. Cutting you off mid sentence he picked you up effortlessly, holding you tight as he took to the sky after his brother.

"Don't worry, I got you. The Dante express never leaves a beautiful woman behind."

His voice was lower and it sounded metallic, as if he spoke through a voice modulator. The experience of soaring through the sky almost made you miss what he said, his words making you blush in surprise.

He had always been professional, a bit goofy and it was no secret that he enjoyed the company of women, but he'd never called you anything like that.

"So what, do you go blind when you transform?" Self deprecating humor was always your go to when someone complimented you.

This earned you a hearty laugh from Dante. "Nah, my vision and all my senses are better right now. If it was just that I'd do this more often I just… Don't like how my demon blood makes me feel when I'm like this." He trailed off, a hint of sadness in his voice.

Very soon you two had strafed around the mansion to the rear. There was a large pool and patio leading to the sliding doors with nothing but the sound of water to be heard.

By you, at least.

"Damn. Sounds like they've been going at this for awhile." He took a deep breath and shook his head to clear it. "And the smell is… Definitely demonic."

"Dante. Stay focused. All we need to do is shoot the demon between the eyes and collect our cut." He stood beside you, one of his arms still around your shoulders.

"Yeah. Thanks. You don't hear anything in fifteen minutes, get out of here like I told you."

Nodding, you took your specialized gun from your shoulder holster and made sure a round was chambered. Silver bullets were hell on demons, and you loved to oblige them with a taste of home.

With a quiet flutter of membranous wings, Dante was in the air and back around to the front, leaving you to sneak into the back through the, thankfully unlocked, sliding door.

--

It had been only ten minutes by your watch, and despite what Dante told you to do, you wanted nothing more than to go in there, guns blazing, to rescue your teammates. Normally, it didn't take Dante more than five minutes to start the property damage and the fact that you couldn't hear anything made your stomach flip in worry.

Inching farther into the dark and quiet house you checked every room you passed, gun first. One attached garage, kitchen with breakfast nook, and supply closet later you came to an open trap door in the floor, leading down into a basement lit by eerie purple light.

You could hear moans from the door, some sounded pleasurable and some sounded painful, and if you focused your hearing the were also words being chanted in a language you didn't know.

Hesitating, you put a foot down on the first step before a strong arm whirled you around and pushed you back into the adjacent wall.

Firing two shots into your assailant made them groan in pain, sucking in a sharp breath as the silver bullets sizzled into the thick chitin. The hand on your shoulder tightened and you saw the dim blue glow of Vergil's thick carapace.

"Fucking hell, woman. You could have killed me if I was a weaker demon." His voice had the same strange modulation to it that Dante's had. Glowing blue eyes locked onto yours and you could see the slit pupils of his eyes blown out wide.

A loud commotion came from downstairs, the chanting growing louder and faster. Vergil closed his eyes as if wincing as the clawed hand dug into the armor under your shirt.

"And now they know we're here… That damn chanting…" He shook his head, but when his gaze came back up to yours you could see he was even more unfocused. "I should teach you a lesson right… here…"

A long serpentine tongue flicked out of his slightly open mouth before he pulled himself away with visible effort. The chanting from below seemed more melodious now, or was that just the effect of being this close to their target?

Swallowing hard, you reached out a hand to Vergil who swatted it away. "No. Just. No, I don't know or want to know what would happen if you touched me right now. Please."

You had never heard Vergil sound so conflicted. Your mind kept telling you to reach out and touch him, but you steeled your will against the desire building within.

Everything happened so fast that you almost didn't notice Dante rush up towards you two, now back to his human form and visibly distressed.

"Verge, snap out of your devil trigger. It just makes it worse, found that out myself." He gestured to the strange purple stain on his shirt. "One down. I think this cult is summoning them through down there. And you," he motioned towards you, "didn't listen to me. This shit is strong, as you can see from Vergil here."

In a flash of blue, Vergil was back to his usual form. Although now with a sheen of sweat that made his silver hair slick back as he ran a hand through it.

"Okay, new plan, charge down there and take this summoner down quick. This place is fucking with our heads."

The three of you nodded and on Dante's count of three you rushed down to face whatever was in the basement.

What met you was a writhing mass of bodies and a scent of sex so heavy it almost made your head spin. A lone woman stood before a stone altar clad in nothing but swirling paint along her skin and holding a glowing orb that seemed to be the source of the purple light.

"The guests of honor arrive! And the sons of Sparda have brought their own little pet to the party! Such a beauty…"

You had your gun trained on her chest, but your fingers wouldn't listen to your mind as it screamed at you to pull the trigger. The succubus' pitch black eyes locked on you as her lips parted in a smile that showed far too many sharp teeth.

"Which of the half breeds should I choose as a mate for you, mortal? Are you the type who enjoys rougher looking men?"

Her eyes flicked to Dante and out of your peripheral vision you could see his arms visibly trembling against whatever control the succubus was exuding over him.

"Or are you like me and enjoy a man a bit more refined and well groomed?"

At your other side you could see Vergil standing perfectly still, the only movement was the rise and fall of his chest beneath the dress shirt he always wore under his blue coat. One of his hands was on the grip of his katana, the Yamato.

"Of course, it may or a few couplings. Might as well let them both enjoy you."

With a snap of her fingers Dante and Vergil each grabbed one of your arms, knocking the gun from your hands and dragging you down the rest of the stairs, each movement stilted and sudden.

"What the fuck are you two doing? Let me go or I swear to God I'm going to kick both your asses!" Despite your loud protests neither of them responded and pulled you to the base of the altar before the succubus.

"Such weak minded fools. Their human blood wasn't enough to stop their demonic power from taking over. To stop their base desires to mate and breed, to sire new life off any willing," she paused and lifted your chin up to stare into your eyes, "or unwilling, broodmare."

There was a flash of movement at your side, and suddenly the succubus' hand holding the purple orb was severed cleanly at the wrist, the now dull white crystal cracking on the concrete floor.

With a yell, Dante jumped to action as well and kicked the demon square in the chest as he summoned his devil blade and rushed forward in a quick thrust, skewering her through the ribcage.

Vergil knelt to pick up the orb before offering you a hand to help you to your feet as a cacophony of howls rose behind you. Turning, you saw that not all of the people partaking in the carnal pleasure down here were human. A large number of them were either incubi or succubi and were scrambling over the dazed humans at their feet towards you.

Taking your other gun from its holster, you downed three of them while taking careful aim to avoid any humans. To your side, Vergil made a few quick motions with his hands and you got to see his specialty come in to play; multiple summoned swords glowed an eerie blue and struck true into the last demons left.

"You insolent mortals!" The lead succubus spat blood at Dante who stood over the dying creature. "How dare you… no one has ever denied me!"

Vergil was the one to answer her, his tone colder than the arctic tundra.

"I was a pawn to others much more powerful than you, witch. Never. Again." A final sword flew out, piercing through her skull and she fell silent.

Turning around you saw ten or so humans at various levels of disorientation, blinking dully as their minds caught up to what was going on, some already cognizant and starting to panic.

While you and Dante helped to calm the poor souls that had been under the succubus' sway, Vergil studied the now inert orb before pocketing it in his azure coat.

Once the civilians had been taken care of and the mundane authorities on their way, you and Dante made your slow way down the private drive, walking among the silent trees.

"That was… Intense doesn't even begin to describe it." You shuddered, rubbing your arms soothingly.

"... Yeah. You alright?" Dante stopped, turning to look you in the eyes, a hand moving to your shoulder.

His expression was troubled; he'd always been one to wear his heart on his sleeve once he was comfortable around you. Obviously how the night almost went had shook him to his core.

"I'll be fine, Dante. As soon as I tear Morrison a new one for how his intel was off! I mean, seriously, that succubus was A rank at least. His guy in the car said she was a C rank."

Dante blinked before chuckling loudly.

"Damn, you're tough. Just don't chew him out so bad he doesn't give us any more work, yeah?"

"Please, he pays me well enough that I won't be too hard on him…"

You looked up the path to where Vergil could be seen leaning against the car. Sirens could be heard far off in the distance; the three of you needed to get out of there before people started asking questions.

Lowering your voice so only Dante could hear, you spoke.

"Do you think Vergil will be okay? He was able to stay in control up against her, but what was that he meant about others having controlled him?"

Dante looked away from you, running the back of his head. "Verge is tough. And considering he respects you more than his own flesh and blood brother I imagine if it's really bothering him he'll let you know."

He leant down to whisper in your ear.

"But as for that, you'll have to ask him yourself. And I doubt you'll get a straight answer, he's… Been through a lot."

"Hmm…" You trailed off as the two of you got closer to the car, getting back inside you sandwiched between the two hunters again but the ride back was much more peaceful.

You may have imagined it, but both of them seemed to press against you much more comfortably now.